He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy.    Proverbs 17:21

Wisdom knows that children can be a source of great joy - and also a source of incredible sorrow.  This particular proverb points us to the fact that a man who has a child - and that child becomes a fool - is a man who will have a great deal or sorrow, pain, and difficulty.  There are a couple of things we should note, though, in this statement.

When a man sires a fool - it is not just the process of having a child that is meant here.  God calls us to rear our children according to His Word - making sure that we first live it before them - and also that we spend time teaching them this Word as well.  Listen to what God says in Deuteronomy on this issue.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.  “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.  (Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

It is so important to see here a call to reality in our own spiritual walk first.  We are to love God with all our heart, soul, and might.  We are to put His Word on OUR hearts first.  Then right after this is the command to teach these things DILIGENTLY to our children.  The way this is said givbes the impression that this is to be part of our lifestyle.  When we do not do this - we are paving the way to be one who has sired a fool.  But the reality is that the foolishness was not inherent in the child - it often is a learned response.  Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, proverbs tells us, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.  Often a fool is created by one who thinks that discipline and correction are too strident for a child.  The fact is leave these things out of a child's life - and you will sire a fool before it is over.

The father here has no joy - because has to watch his son live like a fool.  He watches his boy live a life that is very self-destructive.  He also watches as the lack of his own parenting comes back to haunt him.  Let me give a brief testimony concerning rearing children.

God has blessed me with 6 wonderful children - and a very, very godly wife.  We are in the twilight of rearing our children.  Child-rearing is not a spectator sport - and often is a full contact - heart-breaking activity.  God has blessed us with very godly kids who have a heart for God.  But this was NOT something that was like falling off of a log.  There were times when we taught - times when we had to discipline - and times when we wondered if discipline even worked.  But we trusted God's Word.  There were also times when we had to confront our teenage children with their lifestyle choices.  We faced times when we were the "uncool" parents - and even times when one would tell us that they hated us and that we were ruining their lives.  Ah, good times . . . But there were also times when we would invest in our children - being at events - spending hours talking, listening, and even answering difficult questions.  All this required time, effort, and at times very tough choices. 

I am saying this to say that too many men are little more than sperm donors to their children.  I know that is a rough statement - but rearing children requires a lifetime committment to them - and to God.  By the way, it also requires learning how to walk with god yourself.  There were times when God would call ME on the carpet - rebuke me - and correct me.  Honestly - the best place to learn parenting is from how God dealt with His people.  There were times when I would have to face the fact that I had been a hypocrite - and then would have to sit my children down and admit it to them!  We were anything but "perfect parents."  We were participants in the gospel and the grace of God.  We were participants in growing up in the Lord.  I know that at least I was a royal doofus many times.  There are times when I wonder how any of my kids could turn out well when I look at the progression of my own heart.  When I think of how often I fell - how often I failed - and how often I was on my face dealing with my own sin.  I've had to face daily discipline from God - and from brothers who help me stay committed to the Lord.  Without this - I would have utterly destroyed my testimony. 

Here is what I am trying to say.  Life is a full-contact sport.  It is hard.  It is difficult and often is exhausting.  It also has a million blessings intersperced in it as well.  To live it - we have to turn to God a billion times - often wondering when we will ever get it right.  But this IS life.  We sire fools when we do not both walk with them through this wonderful gauntlet - as well as teach them and cheer them on as they make their way through after us.  It requires us to live our lives for God's purposes and plans - even in having children.  It requires us to die daily to ourselves and live for God's glory in it all.  Is this easy . . . NO!  Is it possible . . . YES!  Is it rewarding and awesome and amazing as we walk with God through it all . . . ABSOLUTELY!  Therefore, I urge you men out there reading this to take the task of loving God, loving your wife, and siring and rearing children very seriously.  It will take your whole life to do it - it will cost you everything to accomplish it - but it will mean everything to you when you look back on it with joy - seeing your kids follow Christ. 

A worker's appetite works for him, For his hunger urges him on. Proverbs 16:26

Did you know that the Bible does not support the idea of a welfare state? There is plenty in the Scriptures that support giving to help out the poor and disadvantaged. But the idea of providing a living for someone without them having to work - especially when they are able to work - is foreign to the Bible.

God's Word encourages us to work - and to work hard. Beginning with God encouraging man to work the garden - prior to the fall - and continuing through the New Testament where Paul tells us that if a man will not work, not to let him eat - God is adamant about people giving themselves to worthwhile endeavors in life. We've seen several verses already that rebuke the sluggard and warn him to apply himself to work hard. God also encourages us to enjoy our work in the book of Ecclesiastes.

God's Word states that a "do nothing" mindset will destroy a man's character - and eventually his life. Welfare will eventually create not just a sluggard, but a person who feels that they are entitled to getting things without working. This entitlement attitude will not just destroy an individual - it can destroy entire economies and states. When the state either cuts off these entitlements or even downgrades them in size - the lazy rise up and riot because they have grown to expect something for nothing.

The whole idea of incentive and hunger is necessary for a society to have a good work ethic. The incentive causes the worker to become more dependable and productive. He works harder and better and in the process not only blesses himself - but his company and even his entire nation. The hunger for food is one way that this is seen - and the hunger for even better things can be a continued way this is beneficial. First we work so that we can feed ourselves and our families. Over time our families are fed, but we want even better things for them. This comes not out of greed, but out of a true desire to bless our families - even beyond the scope of our lives. The incentive to see our children have a better life is a good thing.

Our society is falling apart because it has ignored these things. We have begun to adopt a mindset toward socialism - where the government takes care of all the people. God did not intend for this to be the case. He meant for men to care for their families - and for the state to only have a limited role in governing our lives. The family is the basic unit of society - and the place where values and work ethic is to be taught and encouraged. Even with our children we are to use incentive to help them see the need to work and to labor. When a child is spoiled by his parents - that child is given everything they want - without having to work for what they receive. The child does not appreciate these things - and even has resentment when the parent either cannot or will not provide something they demand. The child never learns a solid work ethic - which damages them for life. They don't work hard - get fired from multiple jobs - which they always equate to a problem with the employer. The problems they have even enter into their marriage and family - because they are unwilling to work and do what is necessary to bless a family. Everything is about them and what they want. Thus they destroy not just their own lives - but in time multiple generations which follow in their footsteps.

The incentive and drive to work - and work hard is a matter of godliness in the end. It is encouraged by God granting to us an appetite - and a hunger for food. If we are coddled and protected from hunger and need. If we are given everything and never made to work for what is necessary. If we are spoiled as children - and even as adults - we are headed for a disastrous end. The older we get, the more selfless we should become. The selfishness of a little child is not to be encouraged - but worked out of them. If this is not done - not even their hunger can get them to engage in profitable work. When multiplied over the face of a region - and even a nation - this will lead to the fall of that nation. Let your hunger and your thirst be a motivation to work hard - and to encourage others to do the same. It may seem hard at first - but you will see the wisdom of God's Word in encouraging work and labor as a way to bless ourselves and others around us.

In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, And his children will have refuge.   Proverbs 14:26

It is in the book of Proverbs that we learn that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  Only when we have a proper respect and fear of God will we understand things as we ought to in life.  It is a lack of fearing God that leads to sin and to ungodly behavior and choices.  Thus it should be no shock to us that the fear of the Lord brings us a strong confidence in how we live, what we say, and in how we look to the future.  The fool has no such confidence in life.  Their brief forays into confidence are mere moments of braggadoccio that fade into insignificance when suffering and death make their appearance. 

Confidence comes to the man or woman of God because they fear the Lord.  They truly know the end of the story - which is that man will stand in the judgment before a holy God.  That seems a little odd at first because we read in the book of Hebrews that it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of an angry God.  But for the one who fears the Lord, that day will not involve falling into the hands of a yet angry and wrathful God.  Wisdom has told him to run to God's provision of forgiveness and grace which is in Jesus Christ.  When we do this we know that the wrath of God fell upon His own Son, so that we might be forgiven and granted great grace by our loving Father.

When we choose to fear God now - we will not have to cower in terror later.  We fear God now - looking in absolute terror at the cross and what God truly requires in His holiness to pay for the debt of sin.  It is in seeing what had to be done to Christ Jesus to pay for sin that we cringe in horror at what our wickedness truly costs.  But when we embrace Jesus Christ, receiving the gift of repentance and faith, our sins are gone.  Thus there is no longer the "terror of the Lord" at the thought of judgment, but rather a strong confidence that our anchor will hold.  Jesus Christ has paid all that there is to pay - and we are forgiven and free. 

The second part of this proverb is vital for us to see as well.  We are told that the children of the man who fears the Lord will have a a refuge.  This points to the fact that if a man truly knows the Lord, his greatest desire is for his children to know his Savior as well.  The refuge that his children have is first seen in how he rears them and teaches them the Scriptures.  What a wonderful refuge is provided by a set of godly parents to their children as they grow up in the Lord.  The parents may not be perfect, but they provide an example of two who walk with the Lord - and who look to Him for their hope and their salvation.  They also do their very best to teach their children the things of the Lord and the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.  They pray for their children and do all that they can to see that they follow them in their pursuit of Jesus Christ in life. 

God desires for men to be saved.  That is a given when you read the Scriptures.  But there is more.  He also desires that there be many godly generations descending from a family who have come to Christ.  This is the legacy that comes to children and grandchildren - and even great grandchildren of those whose parents fear the Lord.  Oh that we would see this and live in the fear of God.  Oh that we would provide a lasting refuge - a lasting legacy of godliness and gospel-led lives to our children - and even to many generations of our families.

Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death. Proverbs 19:18

At first glance this particular proverb seems kind of intense.  But when you consider what happens when a child is not taught to bring his selfish tendencies under some kind of discipline and control - you are leaving them in a very precarious position in life.

We are to discipline our children early.  That is what is being said by saying to discipline a child while there is hope.  The hope is that by helping a child to recognize selfishness - and to fight its destructive ways - you are giving that child hope for better things.  Consider if you will the start of life on this planet.  We are taught that Adam and Eve had two sons.  Jealousy led one son to kill his brother.  The early chapters of Genesis inform us of a remarkable downward spiral that took place in the human race.  By the time God decided to destroy all but Noah's family, the imagination of man was set continuously on evil.  It did not take long for the Fall of mankind to manifest itself in every kind of sin and rebellion imaginable.  This is why we MUST discipline our sons.  Because of the Fall mankind is basically and terminally selfish and self-centered.  Left to himself man would destroy himself with this selfish bent.  Discipline at an early age helps to combat this natural selfish tendency.  We bring this discipline to our children in hope that they will have their basic, natural selfish tendencies held in check until a time when they are convicted of sin by the work of the Holy Spirit.  It is not that we think we can overcome the flesh by child-training, but we do see a need to put limitations and boundaries in their lives so that the flesh is not completely unchecked. 

To withhold discipline from a child is to "desire his death."  There are some who translate this as meaning that a father is not to discipline so severely that he winds up killing a child, but the evidence behind this translation is very weak.  The King James version translates it as a call to discipline a child and not be swayed by their crying.  When you discipline a child properly, most will cry.  Some will cry because they were spanked - others will cry because they are responding to the guilt of being caught - while still others will cry to try to get you to stop the discipline process.  Whatever the case, this passage, if translated this way is trying to steel the heart of a parent who may decide against discipline because their heart just can't handle having their child cry or be in any kind of pain.  This is actually selfishness on the parent's part because they should be looking at the long term effects of the punishment and discipline, not the short-term reaction of the child. 

The other main way this is translated is to warn the parents of the long term effects of not disciplining a child.  The natural selfishness of a child will lead them to reject the Lord and embrace their full sinfulness.  This, if left to fester and grow to its fullness will bring a child to a point where they will embrace a lifestyle without God.  In the end, their willfulness will kill them - if not with actions that are harmful to their lives - then with a rejection of God and His discipline.  Hebrews 12:5-9 reminds us that God disciplines us as a godly parent would.  If a child is only used to getting their own way, they will reject such a God - and will ultimately reject Christ. 

Disciplining a child is serious business.  We are to do so with a godly set of standards and choices.  These guide a father as he disciplines with a view to godliness - and also as he reigns in his own anger and refrains from having discpline turn into abuse.  But the real end in disciplining a child is to turn them away from their own selfish, fleshly tendencies.  The process of making a child face correction and conviction for doing wrong is preparation for God's future rebuke of their conduct.  This one will come by God's grace as they are convicted of their sin - and brought to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ as the answer for their sinfulness and need of salvation.  In light of THAT day, discipline your child and make them face their selfishness and sinfulness - for your preparatory work will TRULY prevent them from death - ultimate death due to sin.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

Ah, we come to the NOT-Dr. Spock proverb.  If you do not know who Dr. Spock is the first thing I should tell you is that he is not the pointy-eared science officer from the Star Trek series.  He is a child psychologist from the 1960's who announced to the world through his writings that spanking a child was wrong.  Unfortunately an entire generation decided that he was right (after all he is a psychologist!) and that God was wrong.  If you are wondering the results of that choice, take a look at our society today. 

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.  This is a view that is also rejected by the vast majority of psychologists and educators today.  We are told that we need to let children "express themselves."  When we try to impose our views upon them - we are only warping them in our image.  I can only tell you that when we add a biblical worldview to the practice of guiding and disciplining a child - people in the academic world tend to go ballistic.  But the biblical fact is, well . . . fact. 

The Bible reprents mankind as fallen and ruined due to sin.  That includes little ones fresh out of the womb.  I know that it is very easy to look at little ones and think, "Oh, they are so cute - they're just little angels."  The problem is that they are NOT little angels.  The Biblical view is that they are little fools - and will remain that way unless we apply the rod of discipline in their lives.  Children will basically be selfish and self-centered.  The will have a tendency toward sin - and if left to themselves without discipline will become little tyrants.  Some will howl with disapproval for this statement saying that not all children are this way.  I've helped rear six children and would be the first to say that different children have different ways that they express their sinful nature - but every one of them needed discipline to keep from being fools.  Some of my children were active in their rebellion - others were passive in how they disobeyed - but without a doubt they all disobeyed naturally. 

God's Word says that what we are after is their hearts.  Note that we read that foolishness is bound up in a child's heart.  We are not aiming for their bottoms - although that is where the discipline usually is administered.  We are aiming for their hearts.  We want them to see that they are fallen and that they need God.  We want them to see that they are foolish and need the wisdom of God.  We want them to see that they are sinful and need the forgiveness of God.  We also want them to see that they are bound in sin and desperately need the deliverance of God.  Finally, we need for them to see that they are fatally flawed and need the regeneration of God that comes with salvation.  They need their "heart of stone" to be replaced at salvation with the heart of flesh that God promises in the new covenant. 

One reason we do this is because they must learn that discipline is the way of life.  God will continue to discipline them as Hebrews 12:5-9 says.  If we are His children - we WILL be disciplined.  Thus we are to be trained by our parents early to learn to receive discipline and to learn from it.  The rod of discipline is applied to help remove the foolishness from our hearts.  As it does its work, we will grow in wisdom and understanding - and will learn to put away foolish things from our lives. 

There are some who will argue that the "rod" mentioned here is just words.  But the word itself means a rod or stick - a club or the stick in a spear.  I will not argue with those who say that at times God refers to the rod of His mouth.  But when it comes to child training there are other passages in Proverbs that make it clear that we are to spank our children in disciplining them. This being said, I will also state clearly that over-spanking a child is abuse - and that God's Word refers to "LOVING" discipline that should be administered.  Simply grabbing a child and swatting them is very ineffective.  There should be instruction, clear boundaries, discipline, as well as reassuring love that is given after any kind of spanking that is given to a child.  Our children need to know that we are not disciplining them because they are annoying us.  We are discplining them so that they will become pliable in the hands of God - and so that they will learn not to embrace foolishness when it presents itself in their minds or through their friends and aquaintences.  This is the kind of discipline that will train up that child.  It is also the kind that will help them love their parents - and later the Lord for what He is doing.  They will see that this is a very positive thing done out of love and always done with their ultimate best interests in mind.