Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro
 
My son, do not forget my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments;   Proverbs 3:1

This is a short statement but one full of meaning for the father who desires to teach his son true wisdom.  This is because the godly father wants to teach his son the things of the Lord - the Scriptures.  He knows that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom - and that this comes from knowing God according to His self-revelation to us, which we call the Bible.

The father here is pleading with his son not to forget the teaching (torah).  This word speaks of the general instruction in the way of the Lord.  This is something about which every father should be deeply concerned.  He does not want his sons to forget or to lay aside in their minds the teaching about the Lord.  This is the key to living a happy life - a life that God can use - and a life that will not bring His discipline upon it.  The father pleads with his son for this simply because one of the sins that we see most often in the hearts of God's people is simply to forget this - the simple teaching of knowing, loving, and following the Lord. 

The way this godly father addresses this need is by calling his son to let his "heart" keep God's commandments.  Here is a key to having godly children.  Speak to their hearts - not just their heads.  Dad, be passionate about the things of the Lord so that when you speak, your sons and daughters will hear that passion and know you speak with them of things that are vitally important!  This is not just religion that you practice for a hour or two on Sundays and Wednesdays - this is life itself.  When we speak to our children's hearts - we are placing the Word in the most valuable place we can.  We are stating to our kids that we want to win and maintain their hearts - not just for ourselves - but more importantly for the Lord their God. 

Here is wisdom, Dad.  Win and keep your child's heart.  Speak for this purpose and you will have a child who will grow up not just "going to church," but living for God with all that they are and all that they have. 
 
 
Hear, my son, your father's instruction And do not forsake your mother's teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck.   Proverbs 1:8-9

Why do we need to listen to our fathers and mothers?  It is because God intends for us to learn of Him through them.  If you watch television and listen to the dominant voices in our society you will hear this particular admonition greatly militated against.  Our world wants us to make our own path and decide what we believe for ourselves - or at least when they are trying to influence us.  There are those who think that a child who is being trained and taught diligently by their parents is being indoctrinated.  Their answer is to stop this child abuse and let children make up their own minds concerning how they respond to the message from the fallen world.  Of course you see what this brings when you look at society today and the direction that most children are going.

God says for a child to hear his father's instruction.  Just a brief word to fathers as this begins.  Dads . . . are you instructing your children in the things of the Lord?  Do they hear you speak of the things of God often - and in a didactic fashion?  Part of our problem today is that fathers don't take their roles seriously.  They abandon the rearing of their children to their mothers and to the world.  They figure that the educational system will do this work along with the mother.  But God does not see it this way - in fact - He does not even want the father to abandon the teaching of his children to the church - or the Sunday School.  This can be a valuable ally - but nothing can replace a godly dad teaching his children the things of the Lord.

Something that may even be more shocking to our current climate of child-rearing is the fact that this word "instruction" means more than just word of mouth.  It means to chastise and discipline a child.  The word here is used more of this than anything else.  The ideas of discipline, chastening, punishment, reproof and warning far outweigh the idea of instruction here.  This is a father taking the time to teach his son and daughter - but with more than just ideas.  The dad is teaching and training - using correction and chastening to drive the point home to the child who is to be learning from him.  What is told to the child?  Hear this - don't tune dad out when he offers chastening and instruction.  Listen and live - and be blessed.  It is so vital to a child's well-being to listen and to do so soberly!

The child is also told to not forsake the teaching of the mother.  Her teaching is not to be tossed aside and left behind.  That is the idea being passed on to the child.  He or she should take the mom's teaching and hold it fast - not allowing it to be cast to the side in favor of the world and what it seeks to teach that child.  The mom is to "lay down the law" here - as the word for teaching is actually torah - which is the Word used to describe God's Law.  Yes, there is a desperate need for rules and for expected actions and attitudes in a child.  And YES - the mother and the father need to work together not only teaching these things - but also enforcing them with discipline when necessary.

Rather than just issue this command, God's Word lets the child know what is coming when they do listen and follow.  This teaching and discipline will be a "graceful wreath to your head" and "ornaments about your neck."  The wreath spoke of conquest and victory.  When a child listens and learns from the Godly teaching and discipline of his father and mother - that child is going to gain valuable victories early in life over the flesh and over that part of himself or herself that rebels against the world.  Oh, what a blessing it is when parents help a child early in life to obey - to submit their will to another - to surrender their rights when being directed in life.  The worldling child knows little of this - and often is taught to rebel against God's ways and commandments.  There is already a fatal flaw in us in this regard - and we so desperately need to learn to respond to God aright. 

Children - learn to listen and follow the word and the warning of your parents.  It will go a long way to preparing you for the world you face.  But even more importantly it will help you listen to the God Who will draw you to Himself for the purpose of salvation and a life turned to the right!

 
 
It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself If his conduct is pure and right. Proverbs 20:11

How do you judge someone's character - especially that of a child?  There are those who say that we should never judge anyone - but that statement is fraught with problems.  How do you train up a child to be an asset to society rather than a liability?  There must be a way to do this - to make sure that your children grow up and take upon themselves the responsibilities of being a valuable adult.  Once again God's wisdom takes center stage on this issue.

A child is distinguished by his deeds - by what he does.  The idea here is that you can investigate and come to a knowledge of just who a child is by looking at his deeds.  There are those who would have us award all children the same - as if giving everyone an equal reward will someone make the world a place without competition.  The problem with such a plan - of giving trophies to everyone - of handing out ribbons to all participants - of not choosing a validictorian because of how it will make the other children feel - is that this will bring all to the same low level.  It is by his actions and deeds that a child distinguishes himself.  Raising a child to be what they should be in God's eyes - means setting the bar at the level that God sets it.  It means calling him to excellence.

The excellence the world seeks in in skill and ability.  It is true that even God's Word speaks of how a man who is excellent in his field will be rewarded.  But what we are examining in this proverb is how to raise a man or woman of character.  The lad distinguishes himself by his deeds is true - but what kind of deeds?  Conduct that is pure and right.  Too often we spend our time trying to train a child in a sport or field of endeavor without tending to his moral training.  What a child needs is character.  He needs to know what is pure and right.  There is the first way in which God's wisdom will run into a road block set up by the world.  The world says there is no way that we can definitively determine and establish right and wrong.  Each man's wisdom is his own thinking.  That is how we got to the ignoble ending of the book of Judges.  A child needs is to be trained that God's Word is what determines what is pure and right.  Then the child needs to be trained in how to walk in this world in a way that pleases and honors the Lord.  Oh, what a blessing such a child is to the world around him when he or she is trained in this manner.  Oh, what blessings will surround and flow forth from such a child. 

We would do well not to turn to Dr. Spock when training our children, or for that matter to anyone who contradicts what the wisdom of God says.  Instead, we need to train our children in the ways of the Lord and watch as they distinguish themselves from the rest of the world - and become the conduit through which the world around them is blessed!