Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro
 
Grievous punishment is for him who forsakes the way; He who hates reproof will die. Proverbs 15:10

What happens when we depart from God's ways?  According to this passage in Proverbs there is a very serious consequence for us when we do this.  Even worse is what awaits us if we go even further than this and reject God's reproof after we've left his ways. 

What is at stake here?  Well, what drives this particular proverb is the idea of "forsaking the way."  "The way," refers to God's way - the way of his commandments.  Several times the phrase, "the way of the Lord" is used to refer to this.  If you want to understand it better you can turn to the 119th Psalm which calls it by various names like, "the way of righteousness," "the way of Your testimonies," "the way of Your precepts," "the way of Your statutes," as well as what we've already said as the way of God's commandments.  This way is the commands and the things God calls us to be and to do in His Word.  When we "forsake" this way, we are doing the following.  We no longer listen carefully to God's Word - we don't pay heed to it or obey it.  But the core idea here is no longer listening or paying attention to someone.  That Someone here is God.  In case you do not know what this means - it means as you listen - you do so in order to respond and obey God.

What happens when we forsake God's way?  The Word here says that we face "grevious punishment."  The word translated for this is the Hebrew word "ra" - and it simply means, bad things!  When you no longer walk with God, listen to Him, or obey Him - bad things are going to eventually happen in your life.  This is the case no matter whether you are His or not.  If you take a close look at the progress (or regress) of the world around you, you can see that ignoring and forsaking God's ways has never led to a world of peace and blessing.  By its very nature this world works best when God's ways and paths are followed.  When they are ignored - or worse - shunned, things go bad.  This is a fait accompli - an established fact! 

Now a second warning is also issued at this point - and I think it is a reminder that God's rebuke and reproof are proofs of His love - not hate.  When we forsake God's way, we will face bad things, but when we go further and ignore His loving reproof of those ways and continue in rebellion - we are headed toward death.  It is God's great mercy and love that arrests us in our rebellion with disciplinary action.  He allows difficulties and problems to come to us to turn us from the insanity of abandoning His ways.  But when we are too stubborn to listen - we are moving toward death itself.  What is terrifying is the warning in 1 John that there is a sin leading unto death - a point at which a disciplinary measure from God involves having a person die.  Wisdom tells us to respond to His discipline and His reproof quickly - so that we will not have to go that far.

One last comment on this passage.  These two truths are just that - truth.  But they had their most astounding fulfillment in the cross of Jesus Christ.  It was there that we saw the most grievous punishment imaginable.  It had nothing to do with the Roman scourage or the nails in the hands of our Savior.  It had little or nothing to do with the agony of the cross physically as Jesus gapsed for air as His torn and bruised body slowly died on the cross.  But it had everything to do with why Jesus sweat blood the night before in the garden.  It had everything to do with the agony of the wrath and judgment of God upon sin.  Calling it a grevious punishment seems too small in light of what it truly cost Christ to pay for our sin before His holy Father.  That is why we should never take sin in our lives lightly.  Yes, our sin was paid in full by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross - but we should always view that truth with both trembling and a sense of honor to God for what He did for us.  Otherwise we will take sin too lightly - and risk thinking that forsaking His way really is not that bad - and it really won't cost us much.  There is foolish talk that reaches to the heavens themselves - and the kind of talk that will give rise to actions that will in the end yield that grevious punishment and stinging rebuke.

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Like a thorn which falls into the hand of a drunkard, So is a proverb in the mouth of fools. Proverbs 26:9

A thorn is a painful thing to endure.  If one pierces your hand, you will know it instantly and you will learn from it.  Over the years of having this happen to me, I've learned which trees, bushes, and flowers have thorns.  I either avoid them - or act with great caution when I get around them.  A rose is a beautiful thing to see - and very pleasant to smell - but if you are unaware of the issue of the thorns - it can also be a very unpleasant thing to grasp in the hand.  Thorns are given in life to teach us - and to warn us.  We learn from them to be cautious and careful. 

This proverb tells us that a proverb in the mouth of a fool is about as profitable as a thorn in the hand of a drunkard.  A drunk is in a deadened state.  If a thorn were to fall into his hand, he might not even know about it until the following morning when he sobers to find a wound in his hand.  A drunken fool will be more likely to injure himself in a thorn bush and not really heed the warning of the thorns.  He is too drunk to realize that the bush is warning him to stop and get away.  Therefore he injures himself worse - and ignores the danger of the situation.

A fool with a proverb is the same way.  He may have a proverb right at the tip of his tongue.  But though he speaks it - he learns nothing from it.  He does not heed the warning - and may even mock it.  He does not follow the advice of the God who gave it for his blessing and wisdom.  Therefore it profits him nothing. 

If you want to be wise - you will have to be able to heed the warnings of God's Word.  You will want to avoid what the Lord tells you will harm you.  Those warnings are like thorns.  We are told some very valuable information that uses this same kind of picture by Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes. 

"In addition to being a wise man, the Preacher also taught the people knowledge; and he pondered, searched out and arranged many proverbs. The Preacher sought to find delightful words and to write words of truth correctly. The words of wise men are like goads, and masters of these collections are like well-driven nails; they are given by one Shepherd." (Ecclesiastes 12:9-11, NASB)

Solomon tells us that there was one who taught the people knowledge through proverbs he wrote.  Later he calls these proverbs and sayings goads.  A goad is a sharp instrument that was used to teach oxen how to plow without kicking at their master.  When they would kick at him - their leg would run into a sharp object that would poke them.  A well trained ox would never kick or buck at the direction of the farmer because the goad would have trained him that to do so was foolish - and painful. 

Proverbs are meant to be goads - thorns if you will.  They are meant to train us to walk in wise ways.  They warn us against painful moments that will come if we continue to walk as a fool in this life.  May God give us grace to be the kind of person to whom a proverb would be profitable - and not like a drunkard who has a thorn fall into his hand - and doesn't even feel it. 
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A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding Than a hundred blows into a fool. Proverbs 17:10

God gave me a wonderful man who has a heart after Him to be my mentor.  His name is John Dale Rector.  John Dale spent 3 years of his life teaching and training me in the things of the Lord.  He taught by precept and by example.  He also had his hands full as I was a proverbial bull in a china shop with my zeal that lacked wisdom.  Thus John Dale had to spend more than his fair share of time rebuking me for my excesses.  Thus he taught me a very important verse of Scripture and had me memorize it early in my walk with the Lord.  The verse says, "Let a righteous man strike me, it is a kindness."  That particular verse has a lot to do with what today's proverb has to teach us.

I am an advocate for both verbal and corporal punishment.  There is a time for rendering blows to fools.  One of those times in during childhood where the responsibility of the parent is to train up a child in the way he should go.  It is a time where through loving discipline (which includes spanking) a parent seeks to teach a child what he should and should not do.  The parent is not trying to dominate the child or to crush his spirit.  The parent IS seeking to help a child grasp what is acceptable and unacceptable to God and to society.  But the end of that corporal punishment is to train a child to be a young man or woman who knows two things.  First he or she knows how to accept rebuke from the Spirit of God.  This happens as he or she is walking through life and about to make un ungodly or unwise decision.  The Spirit of God then rises up within to remind of Scripture, to offer correction and guidance with the Word.  Some times the Spirit just activates our conscience and we are smitten with a bad sense or feeling - or we just know that what we are about to do, or have done, is wrong.  What we desire to do with our children (and in training disciples in the church) is to have them be responsive to that rebuke - to that warning from within.

The second way that a parent and discipler wants to train up their charge is to have them be responsive to people who come to them with a word of rebuke.  It would be wonderful if everyone who offered such rebuke were being constructive with it - but we all know that is a perfect world and not the real one.  The truth is that even non-constructive criticism can be beneficial to us.  Therefore we want to be open to all rebuke.  The wise thing is to receive the rebuke and be thankful for it.  Then take it to the Lord and ask Him to confirm what is in agreement with what He is doing through the Word of God.  Then take what God affirms and use it to grow into all the fullness of Jesus Christ in our character and actions.  This is how to allow rebuke to go deep within us - rather than just bounce off of us as we reject it outright. 

The Scripture tells us that in order for this to happen, we have to be one who has "understanding."  This is the ability to discern and perceive truth from error - right from wrong - God from the flesh and the world - the work of the Holy Spirit from the work of the devil.  We discern an pay attention to what God saying to us.  Because of this we truly understand the will of God - and grow wiser because we have learned to see things from His perspective. 

The proverb tells us that this ability to receive rebuke and understanding from goes deeper into us than a hundred blows into a fool.  An interesting thing is that God instructed not to give corporal punishment beyond 39 blows at any time.  There is the penalty of imprisonment and even the death penalty that is applied by the state to crimes against society.  But God knows that a hundred blows as opposed to 39 would not bring wisdom and understanding into a fool.  There is a point where no amount of corporal punishment is effective.  The fool rejects all of it - verbal rebuke as well as any kind of physical punishment.  Thus we know that all that is left to us is intercessory prayer that God will ultimately break the fool and open his heart to begin to understand. 

When I read this proverb, I am thankful to those whom God uses to offer rebuke into my life.  Let me be perfectly honest that often it is hard to receive the rebuke - and yes, it hurts.  But those who wound us can be healers.  Remember that when a surgeon does his work he has to injure us before he can take out the cancer that will kill us.  We consider the incision made by his knife a good thing - because it is ultimately working healing into our lives.  Remember that the next time you receive some verbal surgery through a brother or sister in Christ who loves you.  Those words will bring blessing into your life if you receive them and allow God to work through them.  If it is hard to remember that - just remember this instead.  I'd rather have some verbal surgery - than a hundred blows on my back!
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Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Proverbs 9:8

Wisdom manifests itself in how we receive reproof.  Here we see two people who experience reproof or correction.  How they respond to that reproof has everything to do with whether they are a fool or whether they are wise.

First we see a person who is called a scoffer.  The word "scoffer" means one who boasts, scorns, mocks, or derides another.  The reason that the scoffer does this is to express utter contempt of the person or comment that has been made to him.  The context for the scoffers utter contempt is that of having someone reprove him.  When he faces correction he reacts with complete disdain for the one who has offered the correction.  To emphasize his disgust for the person who has tried to offer correction or constructive criticism, we read that this scoffer will hate them. 

There are those who bristle immediately to any correction or reproof offered to them.  This indicates that they are indeed a fool.  To say that one does not need any correction is to say that one is perfect.  It is indeed a sad thing to watch someone who thinks in their own mind that they are the manifestation of perfection itself.  They are above criticism - because everything they do and everything they say is without flaw.  First of all this is the highest form of arrogance and pride.  We all make mistakes and have flaws.  When someone offers us correction - whether constructive or not - it is an opportunity for us to embrace humility and see ourselves improve.  Second, when we reject correction, we are saying that we ourselves are the judge of what is right and wrong.  The fool rejects any evaluation of himself - and chooses his own horrifically flawed and prejudiced view of himself as truth.  That is the only way he or she can be deceived enough to think that they are above criticism.  Finally, the fool who rejects correction is actually rejecting love.  It is love that often motivates people to correct us.  That is the motivation of loving parents and others who only desire us to succeed and prosper.  It is the motivation of God who desires us to be a partaker of His righteousness.  But the fool who rejects all this - rejects the very ones who love him the most. 

The wise man loves the one who reproves him.  He understands that someone who is reproving him is not against him, but for him.  This word reprove means to argue and convince, and was used to speak of those who would "prove" something.  We need to see this word in this way because "proving" something was done by submitting it to the heat of a crucible - for the purpose of refining it.  This was done only for one of two reasons.  You proved something either to make it more valuable - or to make it stronger.  The scoffer sees reproof as an attack - or as inaccurate information being used to hurt him.  The wise man sees the reproof as something positive.  He is being refined so that impurities are removed from his life.  He is being refined so that weaknesses are taken out.  He is being refined to be even more valuable in the Lord's work.  He is being refined to be more valuable to God's kingdom and people.  The reproof is making him stronger - better - richer.  As he receives the reproof this way - the correction does its work - and he is blessed as a result.

It is not fun or pleasant to be reproved or corrected.  If it was - everyone would want it all the time in their lives.  The fool looks at reproof only through eyes that see the negative.  He is too focused on his own comfort and his own ego being protected at all costs.  The wise man looks beyond the possible unpleasantness of the moment.  He sees the value of refining and the blessing of having potentially harmful things removed from this character.  He knows the benefit of this experience will far outweigh its problems and difficulties.  If we want to be wise, we too will begin to love those who reprove us and help us to become more Christlike - and of greater use to our Master.
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My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof.  For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.  Proverbs 3:11-12

One of the surest signs that you are maturing in the Lord and gaining wisdom is by seeing how you are resounding to discipline and correction in your life.  Correction is  something no one takes easily.  First of all it requires that we admit that we are wrong.  This requires humility.  This is a character trait that is not abounding in our lives since the fall.  This is why we are told here not to reject the discipline of God.  We are told this because we are likely to just reject discipline automatically.   One of the most important lessons I ever received from the man who disciples me was that I needed to consider it kindness when a godly man rebuked me.  He taught me to take a moment and consider what was said to me rather than just rejecting it out of hand.  Some of the best lessons I've ever learned were due to the rebuke of a godly person who loved me enough to speak the truth to me when I needed it most. 

We are also told here not to loathe God's reproof.  The only reason I loathe reproof is because of the pride in my heart that makes me think I am always right.  You would think I would be delighted for God, Who cannot err, to correct me and keep me from making mistakes that could harm me.  Unfortunately I annuli fled with pride and foolishness to listen to Him and actually choose being wrong rather than admitting to my error and learning from Him.

Solomon has the wisdom here to appeal to his son from a human standpoint.   He tells his own son that God reproves and disciplines those He loves.  ThenLord doesn't discipline us out of some power trip.  He does this because He loves us.  Remember that the next time you are being disciplined.  God is working this way in your life because He loves you.  This verse it quoted in Hebrews 12 and we are informed that God is disciplining us because He wants us to share in His holiness.  God is incapable of acting wrongly and therefore we need to see that even His discipline is for our ultimate good.    

The final words that Solomon offers to his son are supposed to remind him that earthly fathers discipline thir sons because they delight in them.  A father looks at his son and sees the potential of what he catn be.  As he disciplines the child, it is only in hope of what his child can become if  he ultimately follows the Lord with all of His heart.  The father takes delight in his son or daughter as he or she walks with the Lord.  Disciplne and correction is the way of life itself.  If we learn how to receive it from God and from those He sends to us we will be blessed greatly. So learn to receive discipline and correction, especially from God.  He loves you and only is working toward your best interests when He does.
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Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Here is probably one of the most well known proverbs that there is.  It has to deal with how to rear a child.  Too often it is quoted more like, raise up a child and church - and he won't rebel or depart from going to church or doing the church thing.  Many a devastated parent reads this verse and wonders why little Johnny doesn't go to church any longer - or want anything to do with the Lord.  Let's take a close look at this verse to see what is DOES say and what is DOES NOT say to us as we seek to rear our children for the Lord. 

The word train is very important to know here - as we see that the "training" of the child in the way he should go is imperative to the blessing of him not departing from that way when he is old.  This word is the Hebrew word, "chanak" which means to train or to dedicate.  The root word for "chanak" means to narrow something - thus to initiate, discipline, or train it to that narrow path.  Ah, here we begin to see what God is saying to us about child training.  We are to narrow the child's way - by training and instruction - so that the child's way conforms itself to God's way.  This narrowing had to do with the opening of a path.  It was a constricting of that opening so that someone went a specific way as they sought to enter the path before them.  Let's take a moment and talk about how this is applied to child training. 

When we talk about "narrowing" a child's way - we are talking about discipline.  When they are little it means instructing - but also if necessary corporal punishment (spanking if you will) in order to train the child that there are certain things you just do not do.  If you choose to do these things there will be punishment.  It means we MUST correct our children when they act out in a way that is contrary to God's way.  When we refuse to do this - we are not helping our child find his way - we are confusing them.  Study after study has shown that children desire boundaries - and that they will test the ones that are imposed to see if they are truly boundaries or not.  Create godly boundaries for a child (oh, and by the way, live by them yourself as well) and a child will have a great deal of stability in his or her life.  In many ways, to rear a child in this way is simply to prepare him for a life of discipleship later.  Jesus calls us to "Make disciples of all the nations."  This means our own children as well.  When we teach them that disicpline is the "way of life," we prepare them for the reality that reward and punishment - really are the way of life.  They will face such things all the remainder of their days.  It is best to begin young teaching them such things - and showing them through our discipline that there are very real consequences for act

Too many see child reading in this permission society as letting a child find his own way in the world without the parents doing much to get in his way.  This is a sure way to lose a child - to have them follow after their own sinful nature and ruin themselves by indulging their flesh and walking in an ungodly path.  Adam Clarke spoke of this passage as teaching a child how to narrow the opening of his path so that he was directed in God's way, no matter what chioce he had to make.  Clarke spoke of how we needed to show the child the path - instruct him on the duties, dangers, and blessings of the path - and then do all we can do guide the child so that he takes God's path.  Thus when a child faces the reality of life in this world - and the choices that are placed before Him - then that child will be able to reason from the Scriptures and know how to conduct himself or herself in the world. 

We are told to train up this child in the "way" he should go.  Way is our old Hebrew friend, "derek" and it means a path, a way - and was probably the word used most often to speak of choices someone would make that would lead to a lifestyle - or way of living.  Note here that we are to train up this child to the lifestyle and way - the path of life in which he "SHOULD" go.  Here we face a very serious problem when we present this to the average worldling of today.  A way in which someone "should go" indicates that one way is superior to another - something this world finds anathema to their worldview.  They think all lifestyles and all paths are the same.  Thus to say a child has a way he "should go" rather than to just let the child find his own way and follow his own heart until he knows his own path - that is nothing more than legalism and a domineering way of rearing a child.  The worldling parent is not supposed to care if the child goes in a way that is not acceptable to the parent.  The child will find his own way - and besides, it is the height of arrogance to think we KNOW how someone should go! 

The Bible has a much different view here.  God gives us a Law that guides us into the right way and away from the wrong way.  There are certain moral choices that are soundly right - and others that are horribly wrong.  There are choices in the area of sexuality that are the right way to live - and others that are wrong (not just an alternate lifestyle - just wrong).  Taking the time to teach a child these ways - and guide them into these paths - that is what child training is all about.  There is a right way - God's way - and that is how we are to teach our children to walk.  We are to train them that right way - and also to instruct them on the consequences of walking in the wrong way.  We should show them, not just God's instructions, but also God's judgments on certain ways of living and certain choices that they might make. 

Then there is the promise.  It is a bold promise.  Even when he is old he will not depart from it.  As the child grows older - with instruction, discipline, warnings, encouragements and everything else a parent should use to teach him - that child will not depart from God's way.  The example of the parent is also vital here because we teach not just with words - but with our actions as well.  When they see these things - hear these things - watch these things modeled before them - then then will know the way in which to walk. 

This proverb involves so much more than just taking a child to church and youth group.  It involves serious child training using God's Word as our blueprint.  It involves selling out on how we live ourselves and laboring to teach our children God's Word on morals and meaning.  We labor - striving to show them God's way - striving to help them see the forks in the road - but also the consequences of taking the wrong turn there.  These are the things that matter if we are to be successful in rearing children for the Lord.  If we instruct and lead in a way that narrows their choices into the wise and godly way - we can be assured that when they grow old, they will not depart from the way in which they were instructed.  It is a promise that God's way - taught in God's way - modeled in God's way - will provide results as a child chooses His way as His own way in life. 
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Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Proverbs 27:5

Indulgence of a problem that needs to be addressed is something that is not the mark of a true friend - or someone who truly loves you.  Love by its very nature is always mindful of what is best for the one it loves.  Thus true love for another will at times take on the task of open rebuke, rather than hiding ones faults from them. 

God tells us that open rebuke is necessary.  When David was in his sin with Bathsheba, Nathan was sent to him with an open rebuke - a correction that he needed.  To leave David without such a confrontation would have been very harmful to his future.  There are times when someone is doing something dangerous that they must be confronted.  The world calls such things interventions, but things do not need to move into dangerous territory for a word of rebuke to be uttered.  Sometimes it is good for us to receive such a word - as it can turn us from a wrong path long before things get that difficult.  Such a word can bring difficulty if one does not receive the rebuke - but the other option really is not wise.  We read that this open rebuke is better than love that is concealed.

Too often love is concealed - at least the kind of love that will rebuke and correct.  Some dare to call such indulgence love - but when we leave someone in a situation where they continue to offend others (and more importantly they continue offending God) - that is NOT love.   When relationships between family, friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ lack mutual discipline and loving correction - their love is weak and ineffectual.  There is a forefearance that is nothing more than willing blindness.  Such actions leave us with a conscience that continues to be concerned - and too often - tongues that continue wagging behind the scenes about our brother's behavior.  Is is not better to pray through the much needed loving rebuke until it is offered? 

Just a word of caution here as I close today's thought.  Offer that loving rebuke - just make sure it is loving.  There are those who take a little too much pleasure in giving such rebuke.  Our rebuke, if done properly, should have been sandwiched on either side with deeply concerned prayer.  Prayer on the front end so that we will be received and will be wise and gracious in offering our rebuke.  Prayer on the back end of things is offered because we desire the work of the Holy Spirit in helping our loved one change and become more Christlike.  When done this way we cannot guarantee no offense - but oh how the numbers of offended ones drop.  If you have a loved one, a friend who needs a loving correction - take the time to "show" that you truly love them.  This is done as you pray and cry out to God for His work in this process - and you gently and humbly go to them.  You go desiring that they change - not to your liking - but in response to the call of God upon them to walk a holy, godly life.
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A fool rejects his father's discipline, But he who regards reproof is sensible. Proverbs 15:5

Why is it so important for a child to learn to submit himself and learn from his parents - especially a son from his father?  First, we need to learn from this relationship because we will be dealing with authority all the days of our lives.  I love the story of the son who, rebelling against his father's authority says, "I don't have to live under this kind of dictatorial authority, I'm joining the Marines!"  Believe me when I say that when we don't learn under the authority that God has in our lives - the Lord is very willing to up the ante on our next authority figure.  The second reason we need to learn to live under authority - especially with our fathers is because that relationship more than any other is suppose to parallel that between a man and his God. 

Only a fool rejects his father's discipline.  He looks at his father's rules and boundaries for his life with contempt.  He spurns them and rejects them outright.  He comes to despise the role his father is supposed to play in his life.  Interesting to note here is the fact that this same word is used for blasphemy elsewhere in the Old Testament.  Fancy that now - the same term that is used to describe the rebellion of a son to his father - is the same one used to describe the rebellion of a creation to his Creator. 

The reason we need so desperately to learn how to deal with discpline and correction is because this is the way of life.  Proverbs tells us elsewhere that reproofs for discpiline are the way of life.  We are rebels by nature - and by choice when that nature kicks into full gear.  The better we learn how to deal with disicpline and reproof - the better suited we are when the Holy Spirit comes to bring conviction of our sin so that we can respond to the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

The one who "regards" reproof is called sensible.  The word for "regard" here is our old friend "shamar" which means to watch out for something - to attend to it, to be careful to keep something and watch over it.  This word has the idea of diligence and watchfulness over what is said in reproof to us.  We listen and regard rather than reject what is said.  Oh the lessons that we could learn - and the pain and suffering that we could avoid in life if we would just listen to those who offer us reproof.  It is the sensible thing to do.  It is wise and prudent to listen to those who can offer us reproof and instruction on how to do things better.  It is wise to listen to those who see our mistakes and who desire for us to take a fork in the road so that we don't go the wrong way.  It is prudent to listen to those who've been where we have not - who've experienced shame and disgrace because of choices we are about to make.  That is why we need desperately to learn how to handle loving reproof - and even outright rebuke.  God knows that this is truly the way of life - and the way to avoid great sin and sorrow. 

Listen to your fathers - and learn from them.  This will be a lesson that will be repeated often as others who will serve as father-figures offer additional advice and counsel that can bless your life.  If you learn to listen now - while a child - oh, what blessings are in store for you from that one lesson later in life.
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Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol. Proverbs 23:13-14

Just a warning as I begin today's Proverb of the day . . . those who hold that any type of physical punishment on a child is child abuse will be greatly offended at the wisdom God gives us today.  With that said - I will go on record as supporting the spanking of a disobedient and rebellious child.  We've done it with all six of ours and they seem to have adjusted well - none of them are ax murderers or any other kind of violent offenders. 

All this being said - mostly tongue in cheek - there are proverbs about child rearing that I find humorous.  This is one of them.  This proverb begins by saying that we do not need to hold back discipliine from a child.  This is actually one of the most "unloving" things you can do to your child.  You are ensuring that the child will be used to getting his or her own way - and that they will indeed be a spoiled brat as they grow older.  At the very least, you are making sure they will be selfish - and that the lessons they should have learned early in life will be learned with much harder lessons later in life. 

All children are born selfish and self-centered.  This is due to the fall of man into sin.  I realize that this particular view runs counter to most educational models of this present world.  They believe that man is basically good and that if we just get out of man's way with our oppressive rules and regulations - man would find his own way to the next level of evolution.  The Bible teaches that man is fallen - and that given his own way that man will ruin himself eventually.  We watch this in our world in general from year to year - decade to decade - and millenium to millenium.  But we can watch the same thing with a child.  Every child needs discipline.  Some will seem to more naturally be given to disicpline - while others are terrors from birth.  You can be assured of a different ride based on the basic temperment of the child - but all need discipline. 

What I find funny about this passage is the next statement.  "Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die."  Some will try to argue that the rod refers to the mouth or some other ridiculous translation stretch.  The rod refers to a stick or switch or some other instrument which you use to strike the child.  The word "strike" here is the Hebrew "nakah" and it means to strike or to smite.  It speaks of a physical strike.  Now the intent here is not to damage the child - but to sting the child with the spanking so as to administer a physical response to disobedience.  As the child grows older the striking or smiting should be eventually replaced with reason and understanding.  But when they are little the physical pain is to direct them away from the wrong - and eventually into the right as their reasoning skills grow.  They learn obedience from what they suffer in this part of being disciplined.  What I find funny - is that the Bible tells us that the child won't die when you strike him or her.  First, that should tell us that the intent is not to damage the child - but it also reminds me of the way a couple of my kids reacted to being spanked.  Some would do all they could to not register any kind of response.  Others though could have won an academy award with theirs.  You would think they were about to die with the way they carried on about the spanking.  We would talk and remind them why they were being disciplined - and afterward would hug them and remind them that we loved them.  But during - oh, during the discipliine one would have thought that they were about to die.  I think this statement here is for parents - to remind them that some of us do have the more dramatic children who will pitch a fit over their discipline.

The second verse - verse 14 then reminds us of the reason for the discipline in the first place.  We will strike our child with the rod - and rescue them from Sheol.  Sheol is the place of the dead - it is the place where punishment is given until the final day of judgment.  If left to themselves, children will run the way of their sin nature.  They will not come to Christ on their own - neither will they often see the value of godly discipline and godly character.  Character is not a given in a child (or an adult for that matter).  Character is built from times of discipline and molding.  Those moments honestly, are usually more painful that many of us would like to admit. 

To withhold discipline and spankings from a child is actually a cruel thing to do.  Life is eventually going to administer discipline to us.  We face it every day.  Waking up in time to get to work is discipline.  There are days when I do not find it pleasurable - but I discipline myself to do it for the good.  Eating properly and exercising for my health can be a discipline that is not enjoyable.  I would prefer eating 25 chocolate chip cookies - but discipline myself not to for the good in the end.  I learn to exercise because the 30-40 minutes of discipline results in an entire day feeling good and being able to live a longer, healthier life.  Rearing a child to think that discipline is not a part of life is cruel.  They grow up wrongly thinking that everything is going to be easy and fun.  I am not one of those who think we should make all learning fun.  To be honest - some learning is just - well learning.  It is hard to memorize - but it bears such wonderful fruit.  It is hard to discipline myself to read 4 chapters of the Word every day - but it has yielded a strategic grasp of the Bible I could not have gotten any other way.  Discipline is part of life.  Proverbs itself tells me that reproofs for discipline is the way of life.  If we lived in a pefect world where selfishness and self-centeredness were not affecting us - we could live in a world without discipline.  But we do not.  We live in a world where people are selfish - where we ourselves our selfish.  That is why we need discipline.  And those who receive it early in life from loving parents are far better off than those who think they are blessing their children by withholding it. 
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A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools. Proverbs 26:3

Here is a marvelous proverb - and one that in many ways necessitates the entire penal system in any country.  The interesting thing about this proverb though is that you see that a horse and a donkey can be trained.  They may require a whip and a bridle to accomplish the task - but they can be trained.  You may have to break them in the process - but with these instruments one can train these animals to be useful.  But, the fool cannot be trained.  The only situation adequate for the fool is a rod for his back.  It is only through very specific consequences that the fool can be dissuaded from his foolishness. 

Here, also, is where many people rise up and begin barking about a person's rights.  How could the Bible speak about a rod for a man's back?  That is against his fundamental civil rights!  Yet, those who state such things fail to see the incredible failure our penal system has in this world.  We no longer punish criminals.  We offer them college educations, libraries, televisions in their rooms - and a whole list of rights they have learned to demand from us.  It is easy some times to see why recidivism is so rampant in our prisons.  The exit to these prisons becomes a revolving door.  Give a fool rights - and that fool will use them to continue in his foolishness unabated.  Offer him punishment worthy of the crime - including beatings and capital punishment - and many fools will turn from their ways when they think of the ultimate consequences attached to such actions.  Take the much maligned issue of the caning of the American citizen in the far east.  We heard howls and screams about this issue.  Maybe though, we should look at the recidivism in those nations.  It is almost at zero.  Another thing running zero in their societies is the people who even want to commit such crimes.  They know the high price of such actions, to they refrain from doing them. 

Fools do not learn from those trying to educate them.  That is why they are fools.  They are committed to their way of living and thinking (or non-thinking as the case may be).  To try to rebuke or train them brings their scorn and laughter.  They are set in their ways and need a much stronger deterent to their way.  That is the reason why the rod needs to be applied to their backs.  Some will continue to cringe because they are part of our overly permissive society.  Our society - at least the liberal parts of it - tend to blame themselves for everything someone does bad.  We need to consider what we've done to cause them to act in such a way.  Thus we have the fruits of the Freudian tendency to blame parents and anyone else we can find for our actions before ever considering our own choices as paramount to the situation.  Perish the thought that maybe the fool is that way because he chooses foolishness.  The sad thing is that we will continue to watch foolishness rise with our permissive attitudes and actions.  The fool would learn just like the horse and the donkey - if the proper motivation were applied.
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