Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro
 
Hear, my son, your father's instruction And do not forsake your mother's teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck.   Proverbs 1:8-9

Why do we need to listen to our fathers and mothers?  It is because God intends for us to learn of Him through them.  If you watch television and listen to the dominant voices in our society you will hear this particular admonition greatly militated against.  Our world wants us to make our own path and decide what we believe for ourselves - or at least when they are trying to influence us.  There are those who think that a child who is being trained and taught diligently by their parents is being indoctrinated.  Their answer is to stop this child abuse and let children make up their own minds concerning how they respond to the message from the fallen world.  Of course you see what this brings when you look at society today and the direction that most children are going.

God says for a child to hear his father's instruction.  Just a brief word to fathers as this begins.  Dads . . . are you instructing your children in the things of the Lord?  Do they hear you speak of the things of God often - and in a didactic fashion?  Part of our problem today is that fathers don't take their roles seriously.  They abandon the rearing of their children to their mothers and to the world.  They figure that the educational system will do this work along with the mother.  But God does not see it this way - in fact - He does not even want the father to abandon the teaching of his children to the church - or the Sunday School.  This can be a valuable ally - but nothing can replace a godly dad teaching his children the things of the Lord.

Something that may even be more shocking to our current climate of child-rearing is the fact that this word "instruction" means more than just word of mouth.  It means to chastise and discipline a child.  The word here is used more of this than anything else.  The ideas of discipline, chastening, punishment, reproof and warning far outweigh the idea of instruction here.  This is a father taking the time to teach his son and daughter - but with more than just ideas.  The dad is teaching and training - using correction and chastening to drive the point home to the child who is to be learning from him.  What is told to the child?  Hear this - don't tune dad out when he offers chastening and instruction.  Listen and live - and be blessed.  It is so vital to a child's well-being to listen and to do so soberly!

The child is also told to not forsake the teaching of the mother.  Her teaching is not to be tossed aside and left behind.  That is the idea being passed on to the child.  He or she should take the mom's teaching and hold it fast - not allowing it to be cast to the side in favor of the world and what it seeks to teach that child.  The mom is to "lay down the law" here - as the word for teaching is actually torah - which is the Word used to describe God's Law.  Yes, there is a desperate need for rules and for expected actions and attitudes in a child.  And YES - the mother and the father need to work together not only teaching these things - but also enforcing them with discipline when necessary.

Rather than just issue this command, God's Word lets the child know what is coming when they do listen and follow.  This teaching and discipline will be a "graceful wreath to your head" and "ornaments about your neck."  The wreath spoke of conquest and victory.  When a child listens and learns from the Godly teaching and discipline of his father and mother - that child is going to gain valuable victories early in life over the flesh and over that part of himself or herself that rebels against the world.  Oh, what a blessing it is when parents help a child early in life to obey - to submit their will to another - to surrender their rights when being directed in life.  The worldling child knows little of this - and often is taught to rebel against God's ways and commandments.  There is already a fatal flaw in us in this regard - and we so desperately need to learn to respond to God aright. 

Children - learn to listen and follow the word and the warning of your parents.  It will go a long way to preparing you for the world you face.  But even more importantly it will help you listen to the God Who will draw you to Himself for the purpose of salvation and a life turned to the right!

 
 
"Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. Proverbs 1:23
Can a person truly walk in wisdom if all they ever want in life are positive, uplifting messages from God?  There are those today who say that the church should not be negative - should not issue rebukes, corrections, and most of all should not dwell on the whole issue of sin.  "Let's be positive," is their cry - and when we are, people will come back to the church!

There is a fundamental problem with this view of things.  It completely ignores that whole, "fall of mankind" thing.  The reason Christianity cannot be "all positive, all the time" is because man is a fallen creature given to rebellion and walking in ways that are destructive and damning.  At some point the honest among us are going to have to address the fundamental flaw in human nature.  If men were naturally disposed to honoring and glorifying God, this would not be necessary.  But the facts are that the heart is deceitful and desperately sick - that there is none who have done good, not even one - and that unless we repent we will all likewise perish.  Man is not a naturally wise creature - unless you count being wise in his own eyes.

Wisdom is personified in Proverbs quite often.  Wisdom shouts in the streets, calls out in the square seeking to get our attention.  What does she say?  Her first words are not exactly positive.  She calls mankind "naive ones" as well as "simple-minded."  She refers to the inhabitants of this globe as "scoffers" and "fools."  The reason this does not sound positive is because it isn't.  The Bible is not into any kind of a positive confession type of tripe - instead it is honest about the condition of man.  As a result, her first command is issued here in verse 23.

Turn to my repoof.  That is her first command to mankind.  If we are going to be wise, it will require us to turn from our present selfish and self-centered ways and turn to the reproof of true wisdom.  Wisdom will require reproof - correction - rebuke.  We need to grasp that our current fleshly thinking is foolish and stupid.  Wisdom will not enter our hearts unless we first unseat the poser who sits there presently.  That is us.  We need to lay aside human wisdom and that which parades as understanding - and choose to conform our thinking to God's ways and paths. 

Here is a truth that will help you gain wisdom every day.  Say it to yourself several times before you leave your home for the day.  "If I disagree with God's Word, I am wrong!"  Wisdom calls to us and tells us that something wonderful awaits those who accept reproof.  But the person who in pride refuses to admit that he is wrong - that person will remain mired in the foolishness of his own ways. 

What happens when we turn to God's reproof?  Here is something wonderful!  He pours out His Spirit upon us.  Did you know that the Holy Spirit is the personification of wisdom!  He wants us to turn from foolishness - so He can be poured out upon us - and so that He can teach us.  Each time we turn from self and the wisdom of this world, the Holy Spirit is waiting to make known God's words to us.  Here is a shocker - wisdom is found when the God's Spirit is poured out on us and we come to know the Word of God.  In that moment we know wisdom. 

The way of wisdom is the way of correction and reproof.  We cannot become wise until we embrace humility.  We cannot become wise until we respect and honor God's Word above all other sources of truth.  We cannot become wise unless God in His mercy pours out His Spirit and opens our minds to the truth of His words.  When this happens, we'll know the truth - and see that truth corrects us and turns us to the right thinking and the right path.  The path to wisdom may not start positive - but when the Spirit of God begins to reveal truth and wisdom to us - it surely ends positive.  Be open to God's reproof - to His correction - knowing that when we turn to Him - an abundance of truth and righteousness will be our reward.
 
 
A man who hardens his neck after much reproof  will suddenly be broken beyond remedy. Proverbs 29:1

Stiff-necked . . . now there is a term you don't hear too much any longer.  Yet, it would be wise for us to avoid being stiff-necked - especially when it comes to how we receive correction and reproof from others - and from God.

The "hardened-neck" is the one that is stiff, and it also has the idea of being severe or fierce.  Thus the hardening is very decided.  When a man hardens his neck - he is doing so with quite the attitude.  Zhodiates brings out that this means someone who is harsh with anger - cruel - stiff-necked.  This is a difficult person - stubborn and hardened and filled with resentment toward the one offering the reproof. 

The reproof is not just criticism.  It is also not just a one time statement.  The proverb says "after much reproof."   There are those who are offering the needed rebuke and correction - and when they offer it - they are offering A LOT of it.  But - from the previous word - it is clear that the one receiving it is not interested in hearing it.

Suddenly speaks of something that happens all at once - there is an aspect to this that is shocking.  The promise of the proverb is not for a slow decline - but for a sudden moment of retribution from the Lord.  The one who receives this "sudden" consequences is broken.  Broken is "shabar" means to break in pieces - and also has the idea of being abolished, crushed, demolished, destroyed, smashed, shattered, or torn down.  This is a devastating breaking from God.  What is worse is this breaking is described as bein beyond remedy - literally "no healing or cure" - This is something that is not recoverable.  When I consider this, it makes me fear pride and arrogance.  It also makes me want to turn from areas where I am receiving much instruction - and much rebuke - and turn to the Lord with a humility and brokenness that is self-imposed.  Actually, it makes me want to turn in any area where I'm receiving correction - why wait until it becomes "much" reproof - respond now.  Oh to have the brokenness that comes from the Lord as a gift - the broken and contrite heart that He gives as a loving gift to His children - rather than the brokenness that comes as a horrific retribution when we resist Him and those who are sent of Him to correct and train us in righteousness.  Learn to receive correction and reproof as good friends - friends who only want us to avoid the breaking that comes with arrogance and self-centered thinking that rejects comments not meant to hurt - but meant to protect us from a stiff neck and its consequences.
 
 
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6

Which would you rather have - wounds or kisses?  Without more information, just about anyone would answer kisses.  Yet when this proverb is through with us, we might want to rethink our answer.

What exactly is a "faithful wound?"  To be faithful here means to provide stability and patience.  The faithful wound of a friend will help us be built up, supported, nurtured, and established.  How could a wound do that?  Well, we are speaking of a wound of a friend - not a wound on a battlefield.  Our friends wound us when they know that difficult words must be said.  They don't take any pleasure in wounding us.  Unfortunately they see the need for a difficult statement - a correction - a word of warning about something they see in our lives.  They say it to prevent problems not cause them.  They see that the wound is necessary in the short term - becuase greater damage will result in the long term without it.  So they speak - risking misunderstanding - risking offence - risking making us angry.  Yet they see that not speaking - not wounding would be even worse.  In fact, not speaking would be the most unfriendly thing they could do. 

The kisses are those of an enemy . . . enough said.  But it might help us to see how they are described.  An enemy gives only deceitful kisses.  Thus we learn right off the bat that we cannot trust actions alone - the outward can be deceitful.  As God says often - the issue is the heart. 

The word "deceitful" actually means to be multiplied.  It actually speaks of someone who does more - or does bigger - or does more numerously than normal.  Thus the deceitful person over does it in order to cover the lying nature of his or her actions. 

So what can we learn from this proverb?  First we can learn that when someone is giving us far more affection and congratulation than normal, we might want to be careful about basking in their adulation - it might be deceitful in nature.  It might have ulterior motives behind it.  Second, we also need to learn to accept the wounds of our friends as gifts rather than grating comments that get on our nerves.  This is one time where it is better to receive a wound than a kiss.  For the kiss may only be a prelude to something far worse, while the wound is given only for the purpose of blessing us in the end.