Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro
 
A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps. Proverbs 29:5

When I was a kid growing up I heard a phrase that honestly did not make sense to me.  The phrase was this, "Flattery will get you no where."  When I heard this I was confused.  When I heard someone flattering me, all I heard was someone giving me a compliment.  Can receiving a compliment be all that bad?  Honestly, the things that were said felt pretty good.  So what exactly was I missing here? 

That sense of confusion was compounded when I first read this verse that says that when a man is flattering his neighbor - he is actually spreading a net for his steps.  This makes flattery sound like something sinister.  Whatever is being said is being used to set a trap.  You don't "spreak out a net for someone's steps" for the purpose of blessing them.  This was what was done to catch and capture an animal.  Here the trap is words - and the prey . . . the prey is me!

Most of confusion over flattery can be solved by understanding what flattery actually is.  When that question is answered everything else falls into place.  The word "flattery" here means to be smooth and slippery.  The idea behind this word is that of being faithless, to flatter, or to be smooth.  Flattery therefore is smooth and slippery speech - but speech that is meant to lull someone into a false sense of security.  The compliment is not genuine.  It is meant to disarm someone so that they don't see the trap.  The words are subterfuge - like leaves and brush hiding the trap from view.  Just as the animal sees the leaves and brush and thinks this is just a normal trail - so the compliment is there to have the one who hears it think all it well.  Unfortunately, the animal doesn't see the trap until it is too late - until he is caught.  Neither does the unwise one whose pride and ego receive the praise without question - and unwittingly step into the trap!

Just about everywhere this word is used in the OT it is used negatively.  Flattery is a compliment with an agenda.  When someone is flattering you, their kind words do not have a kind or gracious intent behind them.  They are smooth and slippery words outwardly - but the agenda behind them is not good.  Your compliment is a set-up.  There is something behind the glowing compliments - and that is what the person is after.  They use the words and your good reaction to them to gain access to you and to your favor. 

This is the net for your steps.  It is laid out for you to step into and be caught.  Then the true intent behind their gracious and glowing comments is exposed.  A wise man will learn to be gracious about compliments, but never let them be that which causes him to drop his guard.  This is even more true when it comes to women who offer him compliments.  If the compliment is from your wife, that is fine - but if it is from another woman - be very careful.  You can be gracious and thank her for it - but never let it be used to trap you.  If you remember a previous Proverb in the early chapters of this book, the immoral woman uses flattery to capture men.    That is why you need to be unshakable in your commitment to God and your commitment to your bride.  Compliments and flattery can be dangerous things when they are in the hands of those who are using them to disarm us to their real intent.  That is why we need to always deflect praise and compliments to God.  Were it not for Him and His grace, nothing really could be said of us.  Thus we make it a habit to deflect priase unto Him.  That is the safest thing to do - and the one way you can be wary of the net that often comes with flattery.  Like I said at the beginning, our attitude needs to be, "Flattery will get you no where!"
 
 
Proverbs 23:6-8 (NASB)
6 Do not eat the bread of a selfish man, Or desire his delicacies; 7 For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, "Eat and drink!" But his heart is not with you. 8 You will vomit up the morsel you have eaten, And waste your compliments.

Proverbs lays out for us here three verses that warn us of selfish and greedy men.  The term used to describe this men is a man of an 'evil eye.'  This term is a Hebraism that refers to a man whose eye is set in a way that he is covetous and very selfish when it comes to his money.  This guy has evidently made a promise of a sumptuous meal.  To break bread with someone in this day was to offer them a meal.  And from what we read here - this man is putting quite a the spread before us.  It does not only involve putting food before us - but delicacies.  Delicacies here is the Hebrew word "mat'am" and it means a very tasty, delicious food.  It indicates soemthing like gourmet food or special tidbits and delicacies that were usually only served to the wealthy and influential person.  This meal is provided to catch our eye - but dull our sensest.  This is not just a Big Mac at Mickie-D's.  This would be an entire meal at a fancy restaurant - including a top shelf dessert as well. 

Why would this man do this?  What is even more important though is that God warns us to stay away - and not eat it - and not to be drawn in by the delicacies!  We are warned against the desires that arise in us as we look at te delicacies set before us.  Again, one might ask, "Why?" 

The answer lies with the character and the motives of the man who is providing the meal.  He has a reason for what He is doing.  And according to this passage - his motives are evil, selfish, and self-centered.  Let's look a little further at all this as we seek to get all we can from this warning - as well as how all this applies to what we can face from men in THIS generation that use the same tactics. 

God now reveals to us this man's heart.  The motives of his heart are hidden from us and the only way we know them is when God reveals them to us.  This man thinks within himself differently than he is acting outwardly.  His outward words say, "Eat and drink!"  There is every indication that he is all about his hospitality.  There is a problem though.  His words do not match his heart.  Who he is in his heart is who he really is and since his heart is not with us, we should question his true motives. 

Why would someone provide a great spread like this - and not have their heart in it?  The answer to this question is that greed and selfishness are what motivate him.  Ever been to a "free meal" or a "free weekend" at a time share?  Yeah . . . that's what we're talking about here.  We are provided what seems like an innocent and wonderful gift.  Problem is the entire time we are enjoying it we are being set up for the real purpose.  The gift is given to get something from us!  Before the night is over - before the weekend is over - there is going to be a presentation.  The reason for all the generosity is that you are supposed to buy something - commit to something.  I've been to a free weekend at a resort - and the term "high pressure sales" is an understatement of what I eventually faced.  When my "free" weekend was over, I honestly wished I had just paid for my so-called free vacation.  That was one of the longest three hours of my entire life.

When someone's heart is not with you in providing that great meal or that wonderful weekend; when someone's heart is not with you in giving you those "free tickets" or that gift card for a free meal, you need to know that a the heart is not set on giving, but greed.  You are being lured into a way for Mr. Generous to make money in the end.

We are told that we will vomit up the morsel we thought we enjoyed.  There will be a disgust in our hearts when we eat this man's food.  That disgust will only be experienced after we find out the real agenda here.  He didn't do this for us . . . He did it for himself.  Covetousness and profiteering were the real reason this for Mr. Generosity's gift.  In the end you feel like a fool for being tricked into doing something you "normally" would not do.  You curse your desires that deadened you to the warnings of the Holy Spirit. 

Remember my time share story?  Oh, how embarassingly this ended.  I told myself that I would not buy anything!  I was going to be strong - and say NO to everything.  Then I'd enjoy the rest of my free vacation and go home.  Remember the "high-pressure sales pitch?"  Well, in the end, we didn't buy a time share.  Instead we paid a ridiculous price for a promised "future" vacation - actually three were promised.  I'm not stupid enough to fall for just one!  Of course the promised triple play did not quite work out like it was mapped out for us.  In fact the entire sitaution was a debacle.  In the end - I vomited out the vacation we took - and wished I could take back my compliments about what a "great deal" I had just gotten!  Remember this . . . when a selfish, greedy man "gives" you something, he has every intention to more than double or triple what he invested.  At least that is my story - and my savings (or lack thereof) is sticking to it! 

In the end - you feel like a fool for complimenting the generosity of your host.  You look at what was provided - and you think that it is wonderful.  But the cost in the end - oh the cost in the end - makes you feel like a complete idiot for ever accepting his invitation.  You kick yourself for ever getting involved. 

There are plenty of evil-eyed men out there in the world.  They have their plans and their purpose for their pseudo-generosity.  But remember that we've been warned by a wise God - and a wise man who walked with God - that there are subversive plans in this pseudo-generosity.  The plans of these heartless givers are laid out like a trap for the unwary and the unsuspecting to step into.  They want to catch your eye with their delicacies - and keep you from seeing the long-term plan in their ruse of free provision.  Believe me when I say that their intention is to make far more than they have given.  The truly wise man will see this ahead of time - and avoid even a meal provided by one whose eye is evil - and whose plans are selfish and filled with snares. 
 
 
To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, Proverbs 1:4

Why should we read and study the Proverbs?  Here we receive additional reasons why knowing and studying this material is so important to us. 

We begin with the biblical fact that we are fallen due to sin.  This is so important for us to understand, because it reminds us that we are so prone to being deceived and led astray.  Far too many people do not begin with the sinfulness of the human heart as a starting place for learning and wisdom.  We tend to deceive ourselves in thinking that we cannot be deceived.  Thus we tend to be naive and don't question ourselves in our decisions and in our natural way of thinking.  Here is where the wisdom of God is our greatest friend.   Solomon writes that the proverbs are written to give prudence to the naive and discretion to the youth.  Let's take a look at both o these things as we consider a little bit of wisdom today.

The naive are the ones who are simpleminded and foolish.  The Hebrew word here refers to the person who is naive and too simpleminded when considering the complexities and challenges of life itself.  They do not have suficient understanding or perception to properly grasp how to make decisions in life.  The naive are very broadminded - but not in a good way.  What they need is skillfulness in discerning things.  They need an ability to detect subtleties in life.  The word for prudence actually means a craftiness which we usually consider a bad thing.  But for the one who is wise it is the ability to see through things - and to detect trickery and the kind of thinking that sets traps.  In Joshua 9 when the Gibeonites deceived Israel with their appearance - Joshua was deceived because he did not use the proper prudence to detect the craftiness of these wicked men.  Because Joshua simple trusted his eyes and the supposed honesty of the Gibeonites motives and words - he was deceived and led astray. 

Unfortunately we live in a fallen world where appearances do not always relfect the truth of a situation.  This is why we need God's perspective and counsel in all matters.  Yes, it would be wonderful if all men and women were perfectly honest - but they are not.  There are amazing subtlties in life that can only be properly understood by knowing God and going to Him for wisdom and understanding.

The second half of today's proverb says to us that the youth needs knowledge and discretion.  All of us have been and have known youths who know everything.  They have no need for anyone to share additional knowledge - nor do they need to know the ways of mankind - because they know everything.  This is definitely a product of of sin entering our world.  We desperately need for the youths in our lives to hear and increase in knowledge.  It is only by adding knowledge and a better skill in distinguishing things that have subtle differences that they will grow in wisdom.  Without such a growth in wisdom, they will find themselves in serious trouble - and as we learn often in Scripture - deceived and led astray from God's ways.  Therefore we need to keep our minds and our hearts open to God's Word and the teaching of His Spirit concerning wisdom.  God wants us to have a greater ability to detect and discern His ways and paths.  If we keep our hearts wide open to Him - we will know that wisdom and will be kept from many problems that might otherwise trip us up in life.
 
 
Every man's way is right in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the hearts. Proverbs 21:2

Men will rationalize everything and think that their views and choices are right.  The Lord tells us that these men consider their way right - in their own eyes.  The problem is that our greatest scrutiny is not that of our own eyes - but rather the Lord God who weighs our hearts. 

God told Samuel, when he was looking at Jesse's sons, not to look at the outside appearance.  Jesse was impressed with the size and the look of several of Jesse's sons - yet God was not looking for a well wrapped package - he was interested in the contents - the heart.  God's instruction to Samuel that day was that man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart.  The saying goes, "You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."  There needs to be another phrase added to this saying.  "You can't ever fool God."  The Lord weighs what is going on in our hearts.  The pharisee may look awfully good standing on the street corner praying out loud - but God sees the pride and selfishness of his heart.  The giver may make an offering at the temple which sounds and looks impressive to men - but the widow with her two pennies is the one with the most heart in the matter.  Oh, how we need to fundamentally distrust what we think is right in our own eyes.  It is too easy to be deceived in this matter.  Wait for the Lord - search His Word - know His heart and you will find the true measure of any man and any situation. 

The Word warns us to wait for God's judgment.  We are to wait until God weighs in on all things.  He is not affected by greed or injustice - He cannot be bought off with bribes or wrongly influenced by flattery - He cannot be misled or deceived.  His statements are true statements - and they arise from One who has absolute omniscience - thus we know He does truly know everything.  Wait for God's evauation in the end - when every man will receive His praise from God.  Until then - trust what the Scriptures say on all matters for a true picture of His mind and what brings joy to His heart.  Search them daily and live according to what you find there.  That way you will not be deceived into the false evaluation of your own heart - but you will be looking to the One who is right in His estimation of all things.
 
 
A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who tells lies will not escape. Proverbs 19:5

Lying is not a wise way to live.  Speaking as one who was an avid liar before salvation, the lifestyle of a liar is a complicated one.  When you bear false witness or lie about something or someone, you begin a horrific maze of having to remember what you've said - and to whom you've said it.  Soon you have quite an elaborate maze of lies which you have to maintain.  Either you need to remember the story you've told and the various details you've made up so far - or - you have to remember what you've said in lying to various individuals.  This is the only way to keep up the ruse. 

When you think about it.  Speaking the truth is far superior to lying in that you simply say what is accurate and what you truly know and do.  There is no back tracking to remember what you've said in the past - because it is always what you say. 

Eventually a false witness will be punished.  When caught they face various punishments.  Some who lie in a court of law could face criminal punishments.  Those who are caught in social situations face the punishment of shame and disgrace.  If caught lying enough times people won't even trust you any longer.  They refer to you as the liar - the person who, "you can't trust a single word that comes out of their mouth." 

The problem with a web of lies is that they eventually catch up with you in the end.  You think you are catching others with the lies you tell when in fact the only one who is caught in the web is you. 
 
 
Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, And whoever is intoxicated by it is not wise. Proverbs 20:1

What does the Bible say about alcoholic drinks?  That is what we face here in Proverbs 20:1.  The first thing we need to do is to define what is referred to as wine and strong drink.  There are some who try to make a distinction between these two words saying that wine is not alcoholic, but strong drink is.  Problem with that view is that wine is referred to at least 20 times as having intoxicating properties.  It is paired with the other word used here 12 times in a negative context - each time indicating that one is likely to be drunk if they drink it to excess.  The word for "strong drink" is even more explicit.  It means in every situation a very intoxicating substance.  It is difficult to try to make a direct correlation between the levels of alcohol in these drinks and those of today.  What you can say with confidence is that both wine and strong drink when not controlled properly will cause intoxication - which the Bible strictly prohibits both in the Old and New Testaments.  You can also be confident in saying that one would get drunk faster when drinking strong drink rather than wine.  About the only comparison you could make this way would be comparing wine to the alcohol levels of win and beer - and strong drink to stronger intoxicants like whiskey, vodka, and other higher proof drinks. 

Here is what we learn though about both wine and strong drink.  Wine is called a "mocker" in this passage.  A mocker is one who boasts and scorns.  This person is given to deriding others.  Their actions lead us utter contempt toward someone.  The idea therefore here is that when a person drinks wine to the point of being deceived by it (the NASB calls this decieved state the point of intoxication) he is not wise - he is a fool.  Think a moment about this - when someone is intoxicated by wine - he no longer thinks clearly and can say and act in ways that he regrets later.  The alcohol deceives his mind - making it stray from wisdom - wander from godliness - and to make major mistakes.  Want to avoid being deceived and erring badly from the way of the Lord?  Then stay away from wine.  That is the implication made by this verse - this wisdom from God.

What is strong drink?  It is a brawler according to Proverbs 20:1.  This word is very illustrative of the drunk.  It is "hamah" and means to murmur, growl, roar, or howl.  When refering to the drunken fool it means to be a fighter - to be a boisterous, roaring, howling fool.  We all know that many who are affected by alcohol wind up becoming more agressive.  This is especially true of the "fighting" drunks who go home and beat family members when under the affect of wine and strong drink.  Why should we avoid strong drink of every kind?  Because the effect of this poison is to deaden our minds to kind and gracious behavior and turn us instead into a brawling, fighting fool.  The wise man would avoid these things altogether.

The Christian community has those who want to preserve our ability to have a glass of wine or a social drink.  They state that they have freedom in Christ to do so.  While I cannot categorically say that all alcohol is utterly forbidden by Scripture, I can say that the wise person would stay away from it.  I will give a couple of reasons for this.  First - to drink is to place yourself in a situation where it is far more possible to sin by becoming drunk.  Considering what the law considers drunken driving, the amount which a person can drink before they are considered drunk is minimal.  Why put yourself in that kind of jeopardy when there are plenty of beverages that pose no danger whatsoever?  Second - outside of a glass of wine with a meal at home - the usual places where drinking takes place also include a hedonistic lifestyle as well.  Bars, last time I checked, have not been traditional centers of godliness and holy living.  Why endanger your witness and testimony by drinking in these places?  Why endanger your heart by placing yourself in such places where far more than drunkenness is the possibility? 

This verse deals with being intoxicated and therefore deceived by wine and strong drink.  If you get the drift of the writer of Proverbs - the wise man would avoid these things altogether.  This should even more be the case in our day when the ability to purify water has led to a multitude of drinking options that do not have the danger of alcohol in them.  Truly - the wise man - just stays away from this.  You would be wise to do the same.