Do not let them depart from your sight; Keep them in the midst of your heart. Proverbs 4:21

The father next reminds his sons that what is before his eyes will be what eventually dominates his choices.  He reminds him to not let the sayings he gives him - and the Scripture upon which they are based to depart from his eyes.  There is so much in our society that tries desperately to grab the attention of our eyes.  Even though we may place the Word of God and the commandments of God before the eyes of our children, they must be warned that there will be a concerted effort to have their eyes drawn away from such things. 

Think about the advertising business for a moment with me.  They spend millions of dollars researching just what images have the greatest impact.  Each year during the Super Bowl, companies spend over a million dollars for 30-60 seconds just to get the greatest impact upon the eyes of those who watch that event.  They do it becuase they want the images and the thoughts that come with them to stick with us.  And to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that the majority of those images and messages run contrary to the Word of God.  This is why we need to impress upon our sons the importance of not letting God's commandments and God's Word depart from our sight. 

People ask me why I urge people to have a DAILY quiet time where they read and meditate upon God's Word.  It is because when they walk out the door to begin their day, they need that word impressed and engraved upon their very souls and hearts.  That is what the father says here to his son.  Keep these words - these sayings - these quotations in your heart!  There will be hundreds of messages a day that will run contrary to them - seeking to have us live for something that is 180 degrees counter to God's will for our lives.  But do not let these images and these things dominate your sight - keep your eyes fixed on the Word of God - and the wil of God as it is expressed to you there. 

Remember the number of times we are warned of the wiles of the immoral woman.  Almost every time that warning includes a warning not to let ourselves be captured by her appearance.  1 John 2:15-17 warns as well that one of the things we will face consistently is a temptation to live by the lust of our eyes.  Proverbs 23:26 and the verses that follow it are a similar appeal, "Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways."  This appeal comes moments before the father warns his son of the dangers of the immoral woman and her appeal to his eyes - and the way that alcohol appeals to the eyes as we look into glass as it is placed before us.  The eyes are the portal to our souls.  If we look long enough and hard enough at something it can have a powerful affect upon us.  This works both ways with us.  Paul told the Corinthians that as we gaze on the glory of the Lord - we can be transformed into that same glory as the Holy spirit works within us. 

Dads, focus your sons on the Word - and warn them about the ways that their eyes will be used against their own best interests.  Don't hide from them the way that the world will make its appeal.  Call them to fix their eyes on the Word of God - so that the Word they see will move through their sight into their hearts where it will transform them more and more to God's ways and God's character.  What they see will affect them.  Make sure they know that in this battle for their soul, the one thing to keep before them is God's Word.

My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Proverbs 4:20

Proverbs is filled with admonitions from a father to a son.  This is a large part of this book - the importance of a father teaching his children the things of God.  This is something that has been lost to several generations in our country - and we can easily see the damage that results from it in multiple generations of American men. 

The father speaks bold words to his son - telling him to pay attention to the word that he speaks to him.  Dads, there is little that is as important as being able to speak this way to your sons.  This does not happen overnight because you decide to do it.  Cultivate this with your sons by spending time with them.  Turn off the television and put down whatever it is that you think is so important - and build a relationship with your boys!  This dad gained the ability to say such things by being a part of his son's life.  Having gained that position, he speaks boldly telling his son to pay attention to his words. 

Have you made it clear to your son that the things you say to him are important?  This is no small matter.  If a father practices neglect of his sons early, they will see no place for his words.  His words are spoken so seldom that they do not matter to him.  If a father plays the fool all the time his son will not take him seriously.  If a father is harsh his son will reject his words because there is no love in them.  But the father who consistently loves and speaks with his son - both about fun and serious things - will win his heart.  When this takes place his son will know that the words of his Father truly matter - and he will pay close attention to them.  This dad wants his son to truly hear - and grasp the things that he says.  The idea behind paying close attention to him means to listen carefully so as to heed and obey. 

He also says that his son should "incline" his ear to his father's sayings.  The word incline has the idea of stretching out and extending something.  It is a call for his son to stretch out his ears - to strain himself to hear what his dad is saying to him.  The Hebrew word "emer" here has an interesting aspect to it.  When used in its root form, this term meant a saying, but it usually also involved a quotation spoken after it.  For those of us who walk with God, this is pretty amazing.  It is a reminder that not only do we need to give our kids wise commands for their moral choices - but that we also need to include a quotation afterward.  That quotation needs to be from the Scriptures.  It is so vital that our moral statements have true moral authority.  So, we quote the Word to our sons as we tell them the way that they should walk and live in life. 

Men, it is so important that we speak to our sons.  It is important that they hear from us the morals and the values that they should have in life.  It is also important that as we share these things we let them know that our values and morals do not arise out of the ash pits of American society and the shifting sands of public or political opinion.  Our valures are rooted in God's revelation of Himself in Scripture - in the Bible.  They have their footings dug deep into the 10 commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, and the writings of Pau, Peter, and John.  This is the way to have a son who has strong values - and values that will not be blown and tossed like the waves driven by the wind.  Be a strong man - speak strong things - and rear strong sons!

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who sires a wise son will be glad in him.  Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you. Proverbs 23:24-25

God has blessed my wife and I with 6 children, of which 2 of them are sons.  Our testimony as a family is an interesting one because it involves being caught up in religious, church-y living - and then later being in relationship with a very merciful, loving God.  Please bear with me, because all this actually relates to the proverb for today.

Solomon tells us that the father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who sires a wise son will be glad in him.  At present I am the father of two sons who are righteous - and who are seeking to live their lives according to God's wisdom.  Oh, by the way - I also greatly rejoice in God's goodness for giving me such sons.  To write such things can be extremely dangerous, so let me explain what all this means - giving all the glory to God.

I am a pastor.  I have been one for some 20+ years.  During that time God has been very gracious to me - showing me mercy extensively in the midst of a great deal of stupidity.  There were times that I was so given to "the ministry" that I did not love my family as I should have loved them.  I also was so caught up in trying to have a "great church" in the eyes of men - that I was a horrible example of what a man of God should be - not just to my family, but to the people of Calvary Chapel.  A lot of this came crashing down when a biblical discipline situation arose in our fellowship - and spiritual carnage resulted.  What I (and yes I emphasize I) had built came crashing down just like Jesus said it would in Matthew 7:27-28.  This not only happened at the church, but my own sons were rejecting it as well. 

Then God broke me - wonderfully, graciously, mercifully broke me.  I spent about 2 months weeping, confessing sin to my wife and my children - and to the church as well.  It was during that time that I laid all my plans for me being a great pastor and preacher at the feet of Jesus - and decided I just wanted to love, know, and obey Him.  God was so merciful in responding that the repentance and brokenness by drawing my two sons to Himself and making them righteous through faith in Jesus Christ.  He slowly began to transform my sons, my family, and the fellowship He so graciously allowed me to continue to pastor.  We are far from perfect - but as long as we seek Him and do what He says - things will go well.

This Proverb says that the father of the righteous will greatly rejoice.  That does not mean that the father rears his sons to be righteous in themselves - for that would only be self-righteousness.  He rears his sons to see that the only way they can be righteous is to turn in repentance and faith to Jesus Christ.  Having their righteousness in Him - they can begin to walk as godly men - looking to and trusting Him at all times.  What the father seeks to do is to be sure that he has "wise" sons.  Since we know that wisdom is seeing all things from God's perspective - and making choices according to that way of seeing things - this means that his boys learn to have a biblical worldview, and live according to God's will rather than their own.  If a father sees this - he rejoices.  That wonderful gift has been given to me two times over.  It also has been given to me in spite of my early years of stupidity and self-driven living. 

The writer of Proverbs says to the sons that they should let their father and mother be glad - especially the mother who gave birth to them.  Too many children spend their lives trying to please their parents by doing whatever they want them to do.  That may seem like a contradiction to what I just said - but it is not.  If a parent is wise in the way that they rear their child, they will make certain that their child knows that the most important thing in life is to live by God's will - not just by what their parents desire.  Of course, this includes the commandment to honor and obey parents.  But a wise mom and dad are certain to direct their child only to hear their voice as a precursor to listening to God's voice.  The wise parent also knows that during their teen years their children need to transition from just listening to a parent - to listening to God and doing as He says.  A child who remains dependent upon a parent throughout their lives will not be a wise child.  They have to come to the point of starting their own family - and rearing another generation of kids who start by listening to their parents, and who later in life transfer that teachability to God's voice and the Scriptures. 

My wife and I have strived to do this with our children.  We've failed as often as we've succeeded - with all successes being due to following God's counsel.  But know this - it is not easy - and parenting is not for cowards.  If you do this properly - your children will marry - and will leave the home.  If we rear them to treasure the gospel and take seriously their responsiblity to God and to the world for proclaiming it - there is a good chance they may take seriously that command to go to all the nations.  We've already watched three do this - and a fourth is probably on her way.  That means as we rejoice, there is also a little bit of heart-ache as we send them to the ends of the earth - not knowing if they will ever return.   But then again, what greater joy can we have as parents than to follow the example of God Himself, Who gave His Son away so that the nations might be saved? 

When the scoffer is punished, the naive becomes wise; But when the wise is instructed, he receives knowledge. The righteous one considers the house of the wicked, Turning the wicked to ruin. Proverbs 21:11-12

Ecclesiastes 8:11 says, "Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed quickly, therefore the hearts of the sons of men among them are given fully to do evil."  Punishment is not just for the one who does the evil deed.  Society at large also receives instruction when punishment is handed out for crimes and evil deeds that are done.  Today's proverb helps us understand this.

The scoffer is the first person we see in this proverb.  We see him being punished for something he has done.  It is important to see that while others are instructed and given wisdom from this punishment, the scoffer is not one of them.  A scoffer is incorrigible in his evil.  He mocks God and does not care or concern himself with wisdom.  He himself is the beginning and end of what little wisdom he desires.  When this scoffer eventually breaks laws in his quest to poison society against God, he receives the punishment due for his crime.  It is sad to see though that by the end of this proverb - and even the following verse - the scoffer learns nothing.  He will continue in his scoffing behind bars - living to curse God and in so doing - have a curse upon his own life as he continues in his patterns of self-destruction.

But there is help for others in seeing this fool's punishment.  The naive or simpleton watches and learns wisdom.  This is not the typical word for wisdom here, but is the Hebrew "sakal," which means to be prudent, show discernment, and to be instructed in a way to go.  The naive watch the actions of the scoffer receive their due punishment and consider his end.  As a result they learn not to walk in those ways - if only to avoid the punishment.  The truly wise man though watches and receives real instruction - and as a result receives knowledge as well.  Knowledge is "daath" which means a knowing that gives him practical wisdom and knowledge as to how to walk each day. 

The righteous is the last type of person who watches the punishment of the wicked.  He looks and considers not just this one action that is receiving punishment, but he looks at the entire life of the scoffer.  He considers his entire house (family, business, children, etc.).  The Hebrew here is a little difficult to translate - and here is it rendered "turning the wicked to ruin."  That gives the idea that the righteous man is out to destroy the wicked here.  The Amplified Bible though, gives the best sense of the Hebrew here when it translates this passage, "The [uncompromisingly] righteous man considers well the house of the wicked—how the wicked are cast down to ruin." 

The righteous man can and should work to make sure that the laws of the land reflect the laws of God.  In that way he does work to see the house of the wicked turned to ruin.  That is what is ultimately best for a society.  But what is being communicated here is that what the righteous man does is note that the entire household of the wicked comes to ruin because of his ungodly behavior and his attitude of scoffing at God. 

When we watch the demise of the wicked on television and in the news we need to receive instruction from it.  Our hearts should not be drawn to such stories for the juicy gossip content.  That is the attitude of the world, who learns very little from such things.  We should watch and grieve the destruction from the standpoint of seeing that a lifestyle of arrogant scoffing and derision of God leads to destruction.  We should also receive the instruction that God means for us to receive.  Honoring and glorifying God is the wise man's lifestyle.  As the house of the wicked crashes to the ground we should remember that Jesus Himself taught us that the foundation of a man's house - whether it is founded on obedience to God's Word or not - will be the deciding factor on whether it stands or falls.

A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping. House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:13-14

Two different kinds of homes are shown to us in this proverb - the first in verse 13, and the second in verse 14.  These two different homes will make the difference between a life that is a joy - and one that is most likely pure drudgery. 

The first home has a son - a foolish son who is a destruction to his father.  The word used here for fool is different than we are used to seeing.  It is the Hebrew word "kestyl" and refers to one of several types of fools who are spoken of in Scripture.  He is a fool, according to Ecclesiastes 4:5, 13 who is unable to live life in a successful, practical way.  He is a fool who according to Proverbs 1:22, 32 who scoffs at the things of God and as a result has a lifestyle that is very self-destructive.  Other passages refer to this fool as someone who is rash in his decision making - who pursue foolishness - and who will not have honor but will experience shame due to their decisions and lifestyle.  The father of this fool watches his own life destroyed due to this son.  The word for destruction here refers to destruction that comes because of a rejection of God and a rejection of God's ways and truth.  The father's life is destroyed because of the consequences of his son's life wreaking havoc on his heart and most likely his finances.  To look at an example of this we have to go no further than the story of the prodigal son.  This son was a fool - and demanded half the estate of his father - who chose to give it to him.  Even though this son eventually returned - in the time of his discipline and foolishness he consumed not only half of his father's estate with his ungodly lifestyle - he also consumed numerous hours of his father's concern and heartbroken intercession.  Remember that his father was watching for him - longing for him to return from his godless choices and lifestyle. 

This passage also reminds us that the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping to a man as well.  The picture painted for us by Solomon is that of a wife who is unhappy - and who poures out her unhappiness upon her husband in contentious attitudes and words.  Fascinating is the definition of "madon" the Hebrew word for contention here.  It refers to quarrels and disputes that cannot be stopped once they are set in motion.  They are arguments that create barriers between people - usually caused by a person with a bad temper.  Imagine the poor man who has this to look forward to each day of his life.  He does not have a help-meet - but someone who tears him down every day when he comes home.  Like a dripping leak in the ceiling or a faucet that drives you crazy with the drip, drip, drip sound that never stops - so this man has to deal with an ungrateful, unloving wife who creates tension and dissention in the home rather than an atmosphere of love and peace.

Contrasted to this kind of home, we see in verse 14 the true wealth that God can bring to our lives.  Where a house and wealth can be given to us in the inheritance from our fathers - there is something far more valuable that we should long to receive.  I've watched as people have receieved a large inheritance from their parents.  If gratefully received it can be a huge blessing to the family for generations to come.  But without the second blessing that is mentioned here - entire families can be destroyed for multiple generations.  Whereas we can receive an inheritance from our fathers, a prudent wife is a gift from God Himself. 

The prudent wife is one who is discerning and filled with godly insight. She acts wisely, having understanding and wisdom from which to make her decisions and guide the things that she does each day.  She is intelligent - but with far more than just book-learning.  She is intelligent in the things of the Lord - which allows her to bless her husband and children not just with her teaching, but with the example of her life 24 hours every day.  Her wise prudence allows her to see what is coming - how choices will effect the future - and what choices will make for God's greatest blessing on her and her family.  Truly the gift of this kind of woman in a man's wife is a gift from God.  Whereas money can be good or bad for us - a prudent wife will be blessing at all times.  Her influence on a home and on children and grandchildren will bless a family for multiple generations.  When the Scriptures tell us that her worth is beyond gold, silver, and precious stones - it is not kidding us.  When you have a prudent wife - you are being blessing with a fortune that will last long after the money and things in your life are rusted and dust. 

A man needs to look at these two verses and grasp wisdom.  Wisdom means choosing eternal things - such as the blessing of your family for generations to come by submitting your "love life" fully into the hands of God.  It means choosing a wife under His direction and with His values fully guiding your thinking.  It may mean waiting - or turning away from a relationship with a young lady who looks good on the outside - but whose lack of discernment and godly wisdom will make her a serious liablilty to you and your family in the future.  The wise man surrenders himself to God in every area - including the choice of a future wife.  Remember you can have a constant dripping and a destructive son - or a purdent wife whose worth cannot be measured in gold, silver, and precious stones.  The choice is yours - choose wisely!

Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck.  When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you. Proverbs 6:21-22

There is such a blessing that comes from the teaching of Godly parents.  They can bless us so much - if - we do not blow it by not taking what they say to us seriously.  This is why Solomon told us in this proverb that we need to take these things and bind them on our hearts and tie them around our necks. 

This admonition to keep these teachings and truths on our heart and around our neck are both pictures of giving them a high place in our lives.  This same admonition is given in Proverbs 1:8 about a parent's teaching - as well as in Proverbs 3:3 where it speaks about what we should do with kindness and truth in our lives.  There are some things that we need to value as highly as possible.  One of those things is the teaching of a godly father and mother.

We are told in verse 22 that if we do this we will have a protection service that will function in our lives.  We are told first that as we walk about these things will guide us.  Consider how often you would be guided if you took the advice of a very godly set of parents.  I can think of at least several serious disasters and problems I would not have if I had followed my father's advice on some financial matters.  This is why, as parents, we need to be sure to teach our children the Scriptures and use them as the wisdom that we pass on to them.  The wisdom of God's Word would guide our children everywhere that they go! 

The second blessing mentioned here is that as we sleep, these teachings and truths will watch over us.  The word for "watch over" here is the Hebrew word "shamar" which means to watch over so as to protect.  Whether you realize it or not, decisions you make are working either for or against you even as you sleep.  Consider a financial decision to make a foolish investment.  This investment is working even when you are asleep either to earn money or to watch it drop in value.  In much the same way, decisions for godliness are working for us - even as we sleep.  Following the godly advice of our parents will be working for us even as we are sleeping in our beds.  Associations with others that might harm us - stopped by following godly advice.  Decisions to invest in education - in a godly work ethic - to marry the right person - to live for the things of the Lord - all working marvelously for us every day we are alives. 

The final blessing mentioned here is that as we wake up - these things will be speaking to us.  I remember a friend who has a godly mother who said to me that some of the things she hears that bless her - usually come in the sound of her mother's voice in her head.  That is the value of what a parent teaches to a child when they take the time to teach them the Word of God.  There are times we will hear them at a crossroads decision - and their counsel will be sweet to us.  That is why we need to value you it like we would value some of our most prize possessions. 

Just a note as we come to the close of this particular proverb.  As this proverb is true of a parent's teaching - it is even more true about the teaching and training of our heavenly father.  His Word will bless us in the very same way - except with eternal blessings.  How we need to heed Colossians and let that Word dwell "RICHLY" in our hearts.  If we do - we will have God's Word lead us, watch over us, and speak to us all day long.  What a blessing!

There is a kind of man who curses his father And does not bless his mother. There is a kind who is pure in his own eyes, Yet is not washed from his filthiness. There is a kind—oh how lofty are his eyes! And his eyelids are raised in arrogance. There is a kind of man whose teeth are like swords And his jaw teeth like knives, To devour the afflicted from the earth And the needy from among men. Proverbs 30:11-14

Today's proverb is a four verse description of the hateful, wicked man.  The way this passage refers to this is with the phrase, "There is a kind."  The word "kind" is actually the Hebrew word for generation.  When you have a generation of people who are like this - you have a very difficult time coming upon the earth.  It is an interesting list of things that make for a wicked generation.

Verse 11 describes the first godless characteristic - which is having graceless, ungrateful children who dishonor their parents.  This generation curses their fathers and does not bless their mothers.  They disobey the one commandment with a promise - Honor your father and mother.  The bedrock of any generation is their ability to learn from their parents.  When the family goes awry there will be a basic disfunction and rebellion that will pervade the entire structure of the society.  The basic unit for passing on wisdom is the family.  Proverbs makes it clear again and again in the first 9 chapters of this book that it is through a father and mother that wisdom flows to the next generation.  So, when they have basic disdain for their parents that wisdom is lost to an entire generation.  We watched this in the late 1950's and 60's as almost an entire generation cast off the morals and the wisdom of their parents and decided to start their own revolution.  They decided that their's would be a generation of love and peace.  They tuned out on drugs, turned their ears from hearing and honoring their parents, and did whatever they wanted.  It was a disastrous generation - and those who embraced this kind of lifestyle and living continue to wreak havoc on society today. 

The second godless characteristic of this generation is that they are pure in their own eyes.  The Bible considered this particular sin one that is very damaging.  Those who consider themselves pure in their own eyes are blind to the truth that they are fallen and sinful.  They will justify themselves no matter who disgusting and disobedient their behavior becomes.  It is as if they are deaf to anything God says - and decide that whatever their flesh wants is true and good.  Those who fall into this trap will find themselves hopelessly bound in their sin and wickedness - and will only be delivered by the sovereign goodness of God as He draws them and illumines them to truth that is outside of themselves.  The Word tells us that even though they are pure in their own eyes, they are still unwashed from their filthiness.  Just because we decide we are going to redefine sin in our own minds does not mean that we are not guilty of it in God's sight.  No matter how many times the world tries to redefine sin, God's Word stands as ultimate and absolute truth.  When the wicked disobey God's Word - and decide that their own thinking is what defines pure - they still wind up standing before God as sinners.  But the world in which they live is upside down - and as such it is a difficult place for believers and those who desire to lead holy lives to live. 

The third evil characteristic is that they are arrogant.  This is described as having "lofty" eyes.  This simply means that they look down upon everyone else.  They consider themselves awesome and wonderful, while everyone else is lower than them.  This makes them arrogant.  Arrogance is defined in the Bible as primarily a sin agaisnt God.  Psalm 119:21 speaks of the arrogant as those who wander from God's commandments.  They ignore and look down upon God Himself - and therefore think far higher of themselves and what they want to do than they do of the commandments of God.  Proverbs says this makes them embrace sin and be careless (Prov 14:16) as well as those who stir up strife (Prov 28:25).  An arrogant heart ultimately disregards God.  Such a generation will exalt their own thinking and reasoning above God's.  If anyone tries to instruct them or correct them - up will go their eyes and eyelids as they look down on the poor fool who has decided to oppose their perfect wisdom.  Problem is the fool is the one whose eyelids are lifted in arrogance against God and against those who walk in His wisdom.

Disregard for parents, purity in our own eyes, and arrogance will lead to a society where gentility is gone.  The last of these four evil characteristics is that this generation is one where their mouths are out of control.  Their teeth are like swords - their jaw teeth are like knives - to devour the needy and afflicted among men.  They have no regard for the poor and needy.  They only see them as someone to exploit for their own ends.  There is a complete lack of civility because there was never other characteristics built into their lives to encourage it.  They do not regard parents - who would have taught them obedience and selflessness.  They do not see anything as sin - because they justify their own actions - and would even justify treating the afflicted and needy badly.  Finally, they are arrogant - and view all others as beneath themselves.  This makes it far easier to have little or no conscience at all as long as they get what they want in the end. 

There is a generation that lives this way.  Before you think I am going to refer to a specific generation - think about what the Bible says about the heart condition of mankind.  This is actually what happens in every generation of men.  It happens because of the fall of man into sin.  It happens because we are in rebellion against God - and want to do our own thing.  The generation of which Solomon speaks is any generation from the fall to the end of the age.  Unless God intervenes with the gospel and the saving of mankind by His grace - we would all eventually gravitate in these four directions.  These verses teach us wisdom by helping us to understand where the sinful nature and the flesh will take us.  If anything these verses should make us very open to running to God for his grace and His transformation.  Because if we don't - this is most likely what life will look like.  A world filled with a disregard for parents, filth being called purity, arrogance, and a society filled with harmful and vicious words.  This is a generation to be avoided at all costs.  But the only way out is through the gospel of Jesus Christ - and the regeneration in Him that changes us from the inside out. 

My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not forsake the teaching of your mother; Proverbs 6:20

How does a father and a mother work together to rear their children for the Lord?  That is a good question to ask, and one that is often overlooked as we kind of stumble along in the paths of parenthood.  But believe it or not, the book of Proverbs has a proverb that instructs us on this matter - and does so very well.  We would be wise to listen to this counsel - and begin to pattern our parenting upon its precepts. 

Here in Proverbs 6:20, we have an interesting statement made that gives a role to both the father and the mother in giving wisdom to their children.  The first thing we read here is that a son should observe the commandment of his father.  Observe here is the Hebrew word "natsar" which means to watch, to guard, or to keep.  The word had several uses, but came to us from the military world where the idea of watching was prominent.  When a soldier was put on watch - it was his duty to scan the horizon and be ready at an instant to warn the troops of a sneak attack - or a full scale assault.  Were he to fall asleep at his post - the entire regiment would be at risk of being overrun and destroyed.  The word was then carried over into the idea of ehtics and watchfulness over God's or other's commands.  Here is spoke of a watchfulness for the purpose of being faithful to the command - as well as an ethical watch over one's own behavior so that the command was carried out with careful obedience.  The son is called to have this kind of watching when it came to his father's commandments.  As you can imagine, the word "commandments" is the normal word "mitsvah" which is the most common word for a commandment or a statute given to someone.  It is the word used of the 10 commandments - and the same word used most often to speak of God's law.  It is also part of the word for "barmitzvah" that speaks of the ceremony at age 13 when a Jewish boy was considered a man.  He was considered such because he was taking on the full responsibility of the Law of God.  Barmitzvah literally means, "son of the law" or "son of the commandments." 

The father calls his son to obey the commandments that he gives him.  If a man is wise - he will make his commandments very similar to those God gives us.  Flood a boy with too many commandments and he will lose heart trying to remember and keep all of them.  But when we give a child limitations and wise standards by which to live - he will be far more secure.  Just a warning though to the father who thinks that he can "christianize" his kids by the way he rears them.  The Law was meant to show us that we are sinners.  No matter how wonderfully you rear your children, they will still have to come to Christ to be saved and redeemed from their sinful, rebellious ways.  Yet, a wise man will knows the value of setting godly standards for his children.  A son would also be wise - very wise if he takes his father's commandments and seeks to govern his behavior by them.  Most young people (and by the way I definitely include myself in my younger years) have a basic disdain for their parents commandments.  That is a perfect way of seeing how sin and how the fall have affected our lives.  Wisdom tells us that those older than us are also usually wiser than us.  The only time a child can say that he is as wise as his elders is when he loves God's Word and seeks to know it with great passion.  Then Psalm 119 makes a promise that God's Word makes him wiser even than his elders.  (Just a brief word of wisdom though - if you do know the Word very well - you will also approach your elders with it with humility and grace - not with arrogance and a sense of superiority - that kind of attitude pretty much shows that you've descended back into foolishness again.) 

The mother's role is given next.  This verse says to us that the son also should not forsake the teaching of his mother.  The word forsake means just that - to forsake or to reject something.  Here it refers to the "teaching" of his mother.  The word "teaching" here is the Hebrew word, "torah."  It meant something that was taught - but more along the lines of giving specific instruction or direction to someone.  So we see an interesting thing here.  The father gives the basic commands to his son, but the mother then works with him to see how they are applied to everyday situations and in everyday life.  She takes the basic law given by the dad - and adds additional instruction and help in seeing how to walk in those commands each day.  Since the father usually has to go to work and be gone throughout much of the day, the mother then takes over the work of instructing and helping the sons and daughters grasp and understand how it is the father desires for them to live.  She makes his commandments into practical choices and works hard to teach those choices to the children. 

What is fascinating to me as I look at this verse is that this is how Jewish religion is set up.  They have the Law (mitzvah) which is given by God the Father.  They also have the instruction (the torah) which is given by the rabbis who teach the Law to the people.  They took this very concept and used it to set up their entire teaching system that they use with their people.  This works wonderfully - until the rabbis begin to have their teaching pervert the actual Law upon which it was based.  This is true also in families where mother and father are not on the same page in rearing their children.  Either the dad or mom is too strict - or too lenient, and the other decides to modify what they view as an unrealistic view by changing things themselves.  This leads to chaos in the child's mind - and the unique ability to play one parent against the other.  Regardless - the result is usually bad.

The wise son is the one who listens well to his parents - and who takes both the command of the dad - and the teaching of the mom - and uses it to make wise decisions in life.  May we be so blessed as to have fathers that will lead wisely and godly - moms that will teach according to his commandments - and children who in turn will know the right way to walk because they have heard it from their parents.

Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend, And do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away. Proverbs 27:10

Loyalty is an interesting thing - and something that is not as prevelant in our day.  Too often we don't really know who is living around us - and far too many of us don't have a group of "go-to" friends who will be there for us no matter what.  A wise man knows the value of true friends - and does not abandon them throughout all of life.

Here we see that Solomon tells his son to be a loyal friend.  Don't forsake your own friend - or even your father's friend.  There are blessings that come to us when we have long term friends.  They are there with us in the good and the bad in our lives.  The book of Ecclesiastes tells us that two are better than one - because they have a good return for their labor.  Two when laying down can keep each other warm - and when someone falls - it is always a blessing to have someone to help you to get up off the ground and back on your way.  But then Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, "But woe to the man who has no one to pick him up when he falls."  In closing we read that a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.  Here is why it is good to maintain a loyalty to your friends - and even the friends of your parents.  You need people in your life to help make it strong.  This is especially the case when you fall and have difficult times in your life. 

Having close friends is essential in a society where we don't stay close to family any longer.  The strand ot three cords often cannot include close family - because we don't live close to them any longer.  That is why Solomon tells us that a neighbor who is near is better than a brother who is far away.  When tragedy and trouble strike - they often do so without warning.  In those moments we need someone who can come quickly to our side and offer us comfort and encouragement.  That is the moment when you need the neighbor who is near.  But those kinds of relationships have to be cultivated over time - and that requires both effort and time.  The onset of the television, the internet, and the world where videos and games dominate our time - has led to the lack of skills that are necessary to build long-term friendships - and much necessary fellowship.  We may be able to get an awesome score on whatever Mario game is popular today - or on Halo with some guy from Europe who plays online with us as we attack our imaginary enemies - but we don't seem to be able to walk next door and invite a neighbor over for a meal.  As a result we have multitudes of acquaintenences - but very few close friends.  As a result, we have weak support systems.  We are not a strand of three cords.  Too often we are a single strand just making it in our everyday lives. 

Take the time to make - and keep - close friends.  You probably won't truly appreciate all that they can bring to your life until the moment when you need a neighbor close - rather than a brother far away.  I do not think Solomon is being disrespectful to family.  Family will always come to your aid - at least that was the way I was reared.  But . . . my closest family member is 6.5 hours away.  Therefore I need a neighbor who is near in times of trouble.  They have been there when I needed them.  And their value to me cannot be measured in dollars and cents.  But it can be measured in comfort and encouragement!

My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad; and my inmost being will rejoice When your lips speak what is right. Proverbs 23:15-16

What should matter most to us when we think of our sons?  I know for a period of my life what mattered most to me was seeing my sons excel at sports.  I could have sadly rewritten these two verses with the following foolish edits.

"My son, if you do well at football and soccer, my own heart also will be glad; and my flesh will rejoice when I can cheer at your games for your goals and touchdowns."  (Dopey Father 23:15-16)

First of all I want to state that I am not against sports or competitive activities.  When God graciously broke me he still allowed my sons to compete in sports - and I continued to cheer for them on the sidelines.  Oh, but how I grieved for the years that I had lost - and for the way I had skewed their minds on what was a priority in their lives.  During that time period we set everything aside for their sports careers.  We spent tremendous amounts of money following them all over the mid-south (which, by the way, put us into debt).  I had my sweet wife miss church along with my sons, so that we could go wherever the coach told us to go.  We basically had a very clear idol in our lives - and it is was the dream I had that maybe one day my sons could play college ball - or even make a pro team.  But the most devastating problem that was growing all the time was the misplaced priorities that I was putting before my sons.  My own lack of submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life - carried over into my son's lives.  This story ends well - because of two things.  First and foremost because of God's mercy and grace.  But secondly, because of some serious repentance on my part - repentance and brokenness that led me back to a proper life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ - and with proper biblical priorities.  Let me get back, though, to the proverb at hand.

The father here is speaking of what makes his heart glad.  The father here was glad, and later even rejoiced that his son had a wise heart.  Wisdom was what this father valued most in his son.  And it is a wisdom that sees life as God sees it.  The father here lived to see his son one day with a very wise and discerning heart.  He labored to see that one day his boy would be a man who longed to do the will of God above anything else in his life.  This places before us a very important question.  Are we as fathers seeing our most important job as laboring to see our sons become wise, godly young men?

Wisdom comes from God.  We learned this back in Proverbs 2.  If we are going to have wise sons, it will be because we have taught them the things of God.  Wise sons come from wise fathers who both know the Word and apply it in our everyday lives.  The passion that often drives a "sports-dad" will be re-directed into being a "godly-dad."  If the Christian fathers who spend hours trying to hone their son into the next Peyton Manning or the next Landon Donovan, would devote that much time to honing their sons into the next Paul - we'd watch a revolution in the church - and in our society in general.  Instead of working on passing and catching skills alone - we'd find ourselves spending time also reading the Word with our child.  We'd be working on wisdom skills - on memorizing Scripture - and on being able to take the Word of God an use it to properly discern good and evil as they walked through their lives. 

I know I may be laboring the point a little bit, but think about this for a moment.  How many sons are actually going to be playing sports at the college level?  How many truly have a shot at the NFL or MLB or the MLS?  And how many who make it to those levels of sport will have a wise and discerning heart there to keep them out of the trouble that seems to be following sportsmen in these sports?  The truth is very few will make it to these teams, but everyone single one of those young men will need to be able to live a life of wisdom.  All of them - even those who do make it - will need "wisdom skills" to walk through life worthy of their calling in Jesus Christ.  If you think your son will make it to a college or pro level - have at it.  But Dad, make sure that the most important goal you have for your son is to live a life of wisdom an godliness!  Make sure HE knows that this is the true goal - and that which would most delight your heart and soul!

The father her also states that his inmost being will rejoice when he hears his son speaking what is right.  The inmost being spoken of here is literally kidneys in the Hebrew.  Dads, your kidneys need to rejoice over your son!  Now there is a phrase you don't hear much anymore.  "Hey Bob, man my kidneys just rejoice over how Bob Jr. is growing into a godly young man!" 

The kidneys were thought, along with the heart, to be the deepest seat of emotion and joy in a person.  It referred to the innermost and most private part of a person's life.  When you are moved to rejoice at that level, you are rejoicing at the deepest level possible.  You rejoice because your heart is blessed at the core level of your beliefs and principles.  This leaves me with another loaded question.  What is your deepest rejoicing about in life?  If you find yourself rejoicing deeply at the touchdowns and sports achievements of others - but yawning at the things of God - the exhibition of godly character and true manhood - you are rejoicing about the wrong things.  Let me say, I love a good touchdown like most guys - but God has worked to where I get more excited when I watch my sons make godly decisions. 

The reason this father was rejoicing in his kidneys was because his son was speaking what is right.  This is not that his son was parroting some phrase or some rote speech he knew would make dad happy, but that his son was speaking normally - and was saying what was right.  This is an important step for our sons maturity wise.  Jesus taught us that it was out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth spoke.  So when we hear our sons speaking what is right in their normal conversation - it tells us that God has worked in their hearts.  It is easy to get a son to say what YOU want him too when he is around you - but it is far more difficult to rear him to say the right thing (the godly thing) as a matter of normal living.  This requires God working in his heart.  That is why the father was dancing in his kidneys when he knew his son was speaking this way. 

Fathers, this proverb is vital for us to grasp.  We are called to take boys given to us by God, and rear them to be men.  This requires doing far more than just bringing home the bacon - and re-living our desires for sports grandeur through them.  Taking a boy and making him a man requires that we put wisdom and godliness at the top of our own priority list, and helping our sons to do the same.  It means laboring to see a heart-change in our boys by the working of the gospel and the Spirit of God.  It means training our sons to love a woman properly - and to have a vision of what God desires for their lives to be.  But I will tell you by the mercies of God that when you watch your sons begin to make godly decisions - no sports achievement in the world can come close to the sensation you will get in your kidneys!  Live therefore for the glory of God and the blessing of your kidneys as you labor to take boys - and give the world men of God.