He who profits illicitly troubles his own house, But he who hates bribes will live.   Proverbs 15:27

Ours is a society that is quickly becoming corrupt at multiple levels.  It has been sad to watch our country turn from one that valued integrity and honesty, to one that is moving toward the kind of values that exist in a banana republic.  The frequency of elected officials being charged and convicted with fraud is alarming.  The fact that we watch them use their positions of power to enrich themselves with laws they impose on us, while exempting themselves from their own statutes is terrifying.  That is because, as we will learn from today's proverb, those who do such things bring trouble to their own home.  This is true on a personal level, but also on a corporate and even national level too. 

We read that those who profit illicitly trouble their own house.  This simply means that when we choose to leave our integrity at the altar of greed and the pursuit of wealth at any cost, we are going to create serious problems for our family.  This is for several reasons.  First and most importantly is the trouble that is caused for our children and our grandchildren - even to the third and fourth generations of our family.  They watch as we abandon God and embrace the pursuit of riches.  Paul wrote young Timothy and warned that the love of riches is a root of all kinds of evil.  He warns him in the book of 1 Timothy that some who have done this bring harm to themselves and pierce themselves with many a harmful desire.  This will infect our families to several generations. 

We see this in our current immoral business climate in the United States banking and financial sectors.  Hardly a day goes by now without learning about another failure to preserve any moral foundation - as the generation that watched their parents make money and financial security their only goal now take those lessons to new lows.  They are now grabbing all the money they can - in any way that they can - regardless of who is hurt and what businesses are destroyed in the process.  The courts are now filled with men who set up ponzy schemes and who criminally mismanaged funds.  We are learning that raw greed motivated them to steal money that was not theirs.  Oh, and before we get too far away from our proverb, has brought great shame and trouble to their wives, children, and posterity even into the future. 

We are given a protective against this in the second part of this proverb.  The one who hates bribes will live.  He will be protected against the devastating effects of greed.  Bribes blind those who receive them.  They are unable to see the truth because they are focused on easy money that is put in front of them.  The bribe can be anything from the cash handed to a politician to look the other way of pass legislation that gives unfair advantages to certain businesses or groups - to the more subtle bribe that encourages someone to cut corners and cook books to cover their own greed for money.  No matter how the bribe presents itself it is lying to us.  It promises easy money, quick wealth, a way to get whatever we want without hard work and sacrifice.  But the bribe lies to us - not telling us of the pitfalls and dangers that are inherent in living for the world and the flesh.  These two foes of our spiritual growth and maturity are truly deadly - and can not just polute our spirits - but those of many future generations of our family.  That is why we need to protect ourselves from "every kind of greed," as our Lord warns.  For the truth is that a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.  Life comes as we learn to submit every area of our lives to the Lord for Him to use for His glory.  So the next time you are offered a bribe to lay aside biblical principles and values - see it for the dangerous thing it is.  Reject it and turn to the Lord for strength to be content with what you have.  That is the path to life!

The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked, But He blesses the dwelling of the righteous. Proverbs 3:33

In order to represent God in a balanced Scriptural way, we need to see both the grace and mercy of God as well as His wrath and justice.  When we turn too far toward one without the balance of the other we can make God either a tyrant - or an indulgent parent.  He is neither.

Here we read of God - and see Him in balance.  First we see that the curse of God is on the house of the wicked.  The wicked are those who are enemies of God and His people.  They do not want to learn righteousness, but choose instead to actively pursue wicked ways.  At first we may be a little shocked by these words - that God has a curse for those who live this way - but the fact is that this is true.  It is a proper representation of God, and one that we should be alert and aware of in life.  Too many want to make God out to be an indulgent parent who winks at sin.  God has never winked at sin.  What was poured out on the Lord Jesus Christ is God's final statement about sin.  He poured wrath and judgment out upon His Son, when He became sin.  What God shows to the wicked is both patience and mercy.  He is patient with them in that He does not bring judgment upon them immediately upon their first sin.  But His mercy goes far beyond a "first sin," to the point where God is withholding His wrath on billions of sins every day.  He does this because He loves us - and because He loves to show mercy.  But that mercy will not last forever.  There will be a day when God's mercy will end - and then the wicked will face a judgment unlike anything we can ever imagine.  Though His judgment is awaiting the wicked - His lack of immediate action is not due to anything except His infinite mercies that are allowing the lost, the wicked to receive another day to hear the gospel and repent.

The righteous though - are blessed.  Their dwelling place will know the blessing and goodness of God.  What we may fail to see is that the only way we can be righteous in God's sight is to believe the gospel - to be made righteous by faith.  But oh how the blessings are released upon us when we respond to the gospel and receive what God has to offer.  First, He gives us the very righteousness of Christ as a gift - and then blessings flow freely to us.  Ephesians reminds us of the richeness of these blessings in the entire first chapter.  God has indeed blessed us with every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus!  What is even more wonderful is that this passage reminds us that these wonderful blessings are passed to our entire household or dwelling place when we receive them.  There is a blessing in the home of the godly - just as there is a curse on the house of the wicked. 

Let me close today's comments with a question.  What are you bringing on your home with your choices spiritually?  Are you a conduit of blessing because of your submission and obedience to God, or are you something much different?  Does your family and friends rise up and call you blessed because of how God's grace is evident in you - and even evident to the point of blessing others around you?  That is what the truly wise person brings to their family and friends.  They bring blessing because of God's blessing in their lives.  May God make us a wonderful blessing to those around us!

Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well. Proverbs 5:15

As David finishes teaching Solomon about the need for purity and faithfulness to marriage, he turns to several verses of instruction.  He has given his son a command to steer clear of adultery, prostitutes, and sexual sin.  He has given him very severe warnings about what will happen if he succombs to such things.  Now he turns his attention to some principles by which his son should live.  This is a call for sexual sanity in a world that knows little of it.  These verses should be known and taught to men and boys everywhere.  I fear that because we do not teach such things to our guys, we suffer greatly because of a lack of wisdom and direction in such areas.

Throughout this section David uses imagery to get his point across to his son.  Most of this imagery is not difficult to follow, although there is some debate on it.  Today's verse is pretty clearly speaking of being faithful to your wife.  David tells Solomon to "Drink water from your own cistern."  The cistern is a reference to a wife given by the Lord.  Here Solomon is reminded to seek out his needs for sexual intimacy in his home, with his wife.  David is saying to him, "Be satisfied with your own wife - and find fulfillment in your relationship and physical intimacy with her."  As a man would drink water from his cistern and from the fresh water of his own well, so a man should enjoy the satisfaction of conjugal love with his wife.

Note that here we see this referred to as "fresh water" from one's own well.  In the modern era we've seen the horrible effects of people drinking bad water.  When a disaster takes place in the world one of the most oft seen diseases is cholera - which comes primarily from drinking bad water.  Spiritual and relational cholera happens when we decide that we want to drink from the waters all over the streets - rather than drink from the fresh waters of our own well.  We have also seen in the modern era the meteoric rise of sexually transmitted diseases which are running rampant in our world. Such diseases are completely unnecessary and can be avoided entirely.  The problem lies in that mankind does not like the cure - sexual abstinence before marriage and faithfulness to monogamy within marriage.  Because much of society has rejected such things, we endure over 35 incurable sexually transmitted diseases that roam almost unchecked in our society. 

The simple counsel of a godly father to his son is the start of sexual sanity in our minds and in our lives.  It is a guard against so many things that when loosed are a pandora's box of problems for us and for our nation.  The onl way that we can begin to address all of pandora's evils is to have godly fathers once again arise and be first an example to their children - and then teach them by precept as well of God's ways and paths.  In the day that this happens, we will begin to see a revival of sexual sanity once again in our homes, our community, and eventually our nation.

She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight.  She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.  She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:13-16

The godly woman as represented here in Proverbs 31 is a lady who enjoys working with her hands, with her mind, and with her physical strength in order to bless her household.  In verse 13 we see where she enjoys working with her hands.  She is skilled enough to discover the kind of wool and flax that will make good clothing for her family - and even possibly items that she could sell to others.  When she discovers these things, she then delights in doing busy work - working hard with her hands as she makes things for others.  This evidences both a willingness to work hard - and a willingness to make things for others rather than focus all her time upon herself.  This she does "willingly" which is what the word "delight" means in this passage.  It speaks of her as being a worker who does what she does not because of complusion or by being forced - but simply because she desires to do these things.

This blessed lady also delights in providing meals for her loved ones.  These meals are not just the normal fare of everyday life - although I am sure that these are included in what she does for her family.  Verses 14 reveals that she delights in "bringing her food from afar" like a merchant would do so.  This paints a picture for us of how she delights to cook and provide meals for her family.  She works hard at making things more exciting and varied for her husband and children.  She is not focused on just the "ready-made" stuff that she can pick up in a box (although that was not the case in this day) - but she brings her food from even far off for the benefit of those she loves.

Verse 15 shows us that she uses her head as she manages a household not just with her family, but also her servants.  She rises before dawn to make sure that all those in her care are blessed.  This means not just her children, but even her servants.  She is there to give sustenance to her family - but also to her maidens who work for her in the household. 

Verse 16 shows us that this lady is also financially savvy.  Here we see that she takes the time to consider a field in which she desires to plant a vineyard.  Here she is making decisions that involve knowledge of agriculture and of real estate.  What land would be best for the purpose of planting, tending, and therefore profiting from a vineyard.  As she does this, we can see that from the earnings that she has already gained from previous wise financial decisions, she purchases land for a new venture.  She is wanting to continue to prosper her family and is working toward that end.  She is doing this with money "she" has earned - thus we see that her husband trusts her fully with financial means - and however she started these ventures - now she has earned sufficiently enough to pursue them solely on the basis of money she has earned doing other things.

What we come away with in all these verses about the godly woman is that she is not at all one-dimensional.  Some would teach Proverbs 31 as if a godly woman is all about "God-stuff" like Bible study, prayer, etc.  But such a division in an understanding of godliness and especially the godliness of this godly woman is a false dichotomy.  Her life is more than just "church" activity.  She is wise in every respect - religiously, financially, managerially, and even with a wonderful business sense.  Thus we see that godliness covers far more than just the usual categorizations.  This lady is wise in every respect.  But then again maybe that is why she is praised so highly - because her benefit to the family covers a multitude of blessings that come to them from her. 

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who sires a wise son will be glad in him.  Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you. Proverbs 23:24-25

God has blessed my wife and I with 6 children, of which 2 of them are sons.  Our testimony as a family is an interesting one because it involves being caught up in religious, church-y living - and then later being in relationship with a very merciful, loving God.  Please bear with me, because all this actually relates to the proverb for today.

Solomon tells us that the father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who sires a wise son will be glad in him.  At present I am the father of two sons who are righteous - and who are seeking to live their lives according to God's wisdom.  Oh, by the way - I also greatly rejoice in God's goodness for giving me such sons.  To write such things can be extremely dangerous, so let me explain what all this means - giving all the glory to God.

I am a pastor.  I have been one for some 20+ years.  During that time God has been very gracious to me - showing me mercy extensively in the midst of a great deal of stupidity.  There were times that I was so given to "the ministry" that I did not love my family as I should have loved them.  I also was so caught up in trying to have a "great church" in the eyes of men - that I was a horrible example of what a man of God should be - not just to my family, but to the people of Calvary Chapel.  A lot of this came crashing down when a biblical discipline situation arose in our fellowship - and spiritual carnage resulted.  What I (and yes I emphasize I) had built came crashing down just like Jesus said it would in Matthew 7:27-28.  This not only happened at the church, but my own sons were rejecting it as well. 

Then God broke me - wonderfully, graciously, mercifully broke me.  I spent about 2 months weeping, confessing sin to my wife and my children - and to the church as well.  It was during that time that I laid all my plans for me being a great pastor and preacher at the feet of Jesus - and decided I just wanted to love, know, and obey Him.  God was so merciful in responding that the repentance and brokenness by drawing my two sons to Himself and making them righteous through faith in Jesus Christ.  He slowly began to transform my sons, my family, and the fellowship He so graciously allowed me to continue to pastor.  We are far from perfect - but as long as we seek Him and do what He says - things will go well.

This Proverb says that the father of the righteous will greatly rejoice.  That does not mean that the father rears his sons to be righteous in themselves - for that would only be self-righteousness.  He rears his sons to see that the only way they can be righteous is to turn in repentance and faith to Jesus Christ.  Having their righteousness in Him - they can begin to walk as godly men - looking to and trusting Him at all times.  What the father seeks to do is to be sure that he has "wise" sons.  Since we know that wisdom is seeing all things from God's perspective - and making choices according to that way of seeing things - this means that his boys learn to have a biblical worldview, and live according to God's will rather than their own.  If a father sees this - he rejoices.  That wonderful gift has been given to me two times over.  It also has been given to me in spite of my early years of stupidity and self-driven living. 

The writer of Proverbs says to the sons that they should let their father and mother be glad - especially the mother who gave birth to them.  Too many children spend their lives trying to please their parents by doing whatever they want them to do.  That may seem like a contradiction to what I just said - but it is not.  If a parent is wise in the way that they rear their child, they will make certain that their child knows that the most important thing in life is to live by God's will - not just by what their parents desire.  Of course, this includes the commandment to honor and obey parents.  But a wise mom and dad are certain to direct their child only to hear their voice as a precursor to listening to God's voice.  The wise parent also knows that during their teen years their children need to transition from just listening to a parent - to listening to God and doing as He says.  A child who remains dependent upon a parent throughout their lives will not be a wise child.  They have to come to the point of starting their own family - and rearing another generation of kids who start by listening to their parents, and who later in life transfer that teachability to God's voice and the Scriptures. 

My wife and I have strived to do this with our children.  We've failed as often as we've succeeded - with all successes being due to following God's counsel.  But know this - it is not easy - and parenting is not for cowards.  If you do this properly - your children will marry - and will leave the home.  If we rear them to treasure the gospel and take seriously their responsiblity to God and to the world for proclaiming it - there is a good chance they may take seriously that command to go to all the nations.  We've already watched three do this - and a fourth is probably on her way.  That means as we rejoice, there is also a little bit of heart-ache as we send them to the ends of the earth - not knowing if they will ever return.   But then again, what greater joy can we have as parents than to follow the example of God Himself, Who gave His Son away so that the nations might be saved? 

A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping. House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:13-14

Two different kinds of homes are shown to us in this proverb - the first in verse 13, and the second in verse 14.  These two different homes will make the difference between a life that is a joy - and one that is most likely pure drudgery. 

The first home has a son - a foolish son who is a destruction to his father.  The word used here for fool is different than we are used to seeing.  It is the Hebrew word "kestyl" and refers to one of several types of fools who are spoken of in Scripture.  He is a fool, according to Ecclesiastes 4:5, 13 who is unable to live life in a successful, practical way.  He is a fool who according to Proverbs 1:22, 32 who scoffs at the things of God and as a result has a lifestyle that is very self-destructive.  Other passages refer to this fool as someone who is rash in his decision making - who pursue foolishness - and who will not have honor but will experience shame due to their decisions and lifestyle.  The father of this fool watches his own life destroyed due to this son.  The word for destruction here refers to destruction that comes because of a rejection of God and a rejection of God's ways and truth.  The father's life is destroyed because of the consequences of his son's life wreaking havoc on his heart and most likely his finances.  To look at an example of this we have to go no further than the story of the prodigal son.  This son was a fool - and demanded half the estate of his father - who chose to give it to him.  Even though this son eventually returned - in the time of his discipline and foolishness he consumed not only half of his father's estate with his ungodly lifestyle - he also consumed numerous hours of his father's concern and heartbroken intercession.  Remember that his father was watching for him - longing for him to return from his godless choices and lifestyle. 

This passage also reminds us that the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping to a man as well.  The picture painted for us by Solomon is that of a wife who is unhappy - and who poures out her unhappiness upon her husband in contentious attitudes and words.  Fascinating is the definition of "madon" the Hebrew word for contention here.  It refers to quarrels and disputes that cannot be stopped once they are set in motion.  They are arguments that create barriers between people - usually caused by a person with a bad temper.  Imagine the poor man who has this to look forward to each day of his life.  He does not have a help-meet - but someone who tears him down every day when he comes home.  Like a dripping leak in the ceiling or a faucet that drives you crazy with the drip, drip, drip sound that never stops - so this man has to deal with an ungrateful, unloving wife who creates tension and dissention in the home rather than an atmosphere of love and peace.

Contrasted to this kind of home, we see in verse 14 the true wealth that God can bring to our lives.  Where a house and wealth can be given to us in the inheritance from our fathers - there is something far more valuable that we should long to receive.  I've watched as people have receieved a large inheritance from their parents.  If gratefully received it can be a huge blessing to the family for generations to come.  But without the second blessing that is mentioned here - entire families can be destroyed for multiple generations.  Whereas we can receive an inheritance from our fathers, a prudent wife is a gift from God Himself. 

The prudent wife is one who is discerning and filled with godly insight. She acts wisely, having understanding and wisdom from which to make her decisions and guide the things that she does each day.  She is intelligent - but with far more than just book-learning.  She is intelligent in the things of the Lord - which allows her to bless her husband and children not just with her teaching, but with the example of her life 24 hours every day.  Her wise prudence allows her to see what is coming - how choices will effect the future - and what choices will make for God's greatest blessing on her and her family.  Truly the gift of this kind of woman in a man's wife is a gift from God.  Whereas money can be good or bad for us - a prudent wife will be blessing at all times.  Her influence on a home and on children and grandchildren will bless a family for multiple generations.  When the Scriptures tell us that her worth is beyond gold, silver, and precious stones - it is not kidding us.  When you have a prudent wife - you are being blessing with a fortune that will last long after the money and things in your life are rusted and dust. 

A man needs to look at these two verses and grasp wisdom.  Wisdom means choosing eternal things - such as the blessing of your family for generations to come by submitting your "love life" fully into the hands of God.  It means choosing a wife under His direction and with His values fully guiding your thinking.  It may mean waiting - or turning away from a relationship with a young lady who looks good on the outside - but whose lack of discernment and godly wisdom will make her a serious liablilty to you and your family in the future.  The wise man surrenders himself to God in every area - including the choice of a future wife.  Remember you can have a constant dripping and a destructive son - or a purdent wife whose worth cannot be measured in gold, silver, and precious stones.  The choice is yours - choose wisely!

That leaves the companion of her youth And forgets the covenant of her God; Proverbs 2:17

Many folk may not realize this, but it is a very healthy thing for your marriage to spend time in the Word each day reading it and listening to God through it.  It is this very Word that counsels us in a way that will deliver us from a woman or man who would forget their marriage covenant - and leave their spouse.

Today's proverb of the day takes us back to a promise that was made in verse 11.  As we get into the Word of God and learn wisdom from it, we will find that the discretion it gives us will guard and watch over us.  After telling us how it will guard us from the way or evil and the man who would speak perverse things to us (by perverse it is speaking of one who would pervert God's ways and replace them with his own, the worlds, or the devil's ways) it then turns to the adulteress and the strange woman. 

We are told that the adulteress leaves the companion of her youth.  The idea here is not that she leaves a boyfriend - but that she is leaving her husband.  If that is not clear in the first part of the verse, it becomes very clear when we are told that she "forgets the covenant of her God."  Some might argue that this refers to God's Law - more than any kind of marriage covenant.  I would agree whole-heartedly on this point of Scripture, but I would also add that God's covenant is what teaches us to honor marriage and remain committed to our spouse. 

As a pastor I find it kind of funny that some people think that the traditional marriage ceremony is out of Scripture.  It is often treated as if it is just as authoritative as Scripture.  With no desire to lay waste to the ceremony itself, I have to state that the ceremony is not in the Bible.  Having said that, I do believe that the principles behind it are absolutely supported by the Word of God - but the word for word ceremony is not.  The only thing we have close to a ceremony for marriage is the words God inspired in Adam and God's commentary on it afterward in Genesis 2:23-25 when He brought Adam and Eve together.

Some, seizing upon this, assert that there is no need for marriage or any kind of marriage ceremony.  Whether or not this is true (the ceremony part), there is one thing that I can absolutely assure you of that is Scriptural.  Mmarriage between a man and woman - is called a covenant twice in the Scriptures.  Here in Proverbs chatper 2 we see that the adulteress leaves her husband and disregards the covenant made with her God.  Again in Malachi 2:14 we see that marriage is considered a covenant with God.  Therefore, whether you have a ceremony like the traditional one or not - you are not married until you enter into a covenant with God - and God takes covenants very seriously. 

That is why we are warned to be delivered from such a woman.  It is wisdom to know to stay away from an adulteress woman who forgets a covenant with God to love her husband exclusively (and just so there is no doubt - we should stay away from an adulterer or whoremonger too for the same reasons.)  Wisdom honors covenants and appreciates those who remain true to their word - whether given in a covenant or not.  Jesus makes that clear when He tells us to let our yes be yes and our no be no.  One who disregards their word when their sensual desires rise up within them is not a wise companion.  When this is the case with someone of the opposite sex - it turns out to be more than just unwise - it is deadly!

The Word of God will counsel and admonish us to walk in a way that will honor our word - and especially honor God's Word.  That is why it is so important for your marriage that you get into the Word every day and make sure that the Word gets into you.  

Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.  Proverbs 23:22

I have numerous times been asked the question of when a young person should stop obeying their parents.  Many think that just because our laws state that a person is an adult when they are 18 that they have the luxury of no longer obeying their parents.  I honestly see no such statement made by Scripture.  I believe a child no longer needs to obey his parents when he or she is married.  Once that has taken place the child no longer is beholden to do what his parents say.  But, one wise thing a person should always do is to listen to their parents - even when they are old.  That is because they are an excellent source of wisdom.

Our society does not do much to honor the aged among us.  Ours is a youth culture - and we value youth, beauty, and strength.  Nowadays we see the older among us as people who tend to get in our way as they talk about the past - or they offer decidedly outdated advice from days gone by.  Before I put that on anyone else - I will have to admit that I have been infected by those concepts over the years.  I have noticed that much of the good advice that I was given by my parents - and by those much older than me would have blessed me and kept me from problems if I had listened and heeded it. 

Here we see Solomon telling his son to listen to his father.  The natural flow of life should be for a father to offer godly advice to his son.  This should be easy for the son to receive because of the committment that he has seen over the years from his father.  The son knows that the father has nothing in mind except the very best for his son.  Having seen this over the course of his lifetime, the son has no great difficulty listening and even following his father's advice.  It is astounding how smart our parents get when we have children of our own and begin being responsible for the financial decisions and family decisions that map out for us our future.  In those hours we realize that we would joyfully listen to advice and counsel given from our father and mother. 

The second thing Solomon says to his son is for him not to despise his mother when she is old.  The word for despise here means to hold someone in contempt and scorn.  The one who acts this way is disrespectful to his mother.  I think the reason we are counselled that wisdom is NOT to scorn or hold you mother in contempt is because mothers will speak the truth to you.  They will always have that mother's instinct to protect and care for their children.  But as children get older, they can come to resent this in their mom.  Yet the wise son would never disrespect or dishonor his mom.  He would listen to her - even when she is mothering him a little.  The wise son realizes that this woman has loved him his entire life - and wants only the very best for him. 

We may not have to obey our parents once we are married - but a wise man never stops listening to what they have to say.  And if the parents are wise, they will choose their words and their disagreements wisely so that their children are able to hear all that they have to say.  This is the way that the relationship between parent and adult child can flourish - to the blessing of both parties.   

It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9

There are days when I would rather not have this blog due to the nature of the subject matter present.  Today is one of those days.  This is only because I would rather spend a thousand days dealing with men and their biblical responsibilities and their sin, than spend one having to point out sin to ladies.  Too often in our perverted world women are bashed on these matters with caracitures that are unflattering at best, and just plain mean at other times.  So ladies, today I will try to hug as closely to the text as possible - only using biblical examples as I seek to explain this passage.

This proverb begins with a funny picture.  We have a man sitting on the corner of his roof.  He has decided that this is the better place for him to live.  That seems very strange to us.  Considering the exposure to the elements - and the sheer uncomfortable nature of living on just the corner of your roof - we are bewildered at this man's choice.  What could be so bad that he would make such a choice?  According to this proverb, it is the prospect of sharing his house with a contentious woman.

What is a "contentious" woman?  The Hebrew word used here is "madon" and it refers to someone who is filled with strife and dissension.  It speaks in Proverbs 17:14 of a quarrel or dispute that cannot be stopped once it starts - or in Proverbs 18:19 of arguments and contentiousness that create barriers between people.  It is usually associated with an evil heart and with a bad temper.  Other sins associated with this sin of contention are lying, perversity, and hatred.  These are pretty bad sins - especially when you consider that this is someone with whom you live on a regular basis in life.  The relationship one has with their wife should be the closest in life - but when a wife is acting this way - it makes life miserable. 

This lady is miserable herself - and honestly - is making everyone else around her equally miserable.  Rather than be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit (as is counselled by Scripture) she is filled with anger, resentment, hatred, and because of these things - a contentious spirit that is ready at a moment's notice to enter into strife and voice her continual dissent.  No wonder this guy is sitting on the corner of his rooftop - it is the only place he may be able to get a little peace and quiet. 

Ladies, if you would indulge me for just a brief few moments, God desires you to be your husband's helper.  This is the same term that is used to describe the Holy Spirit.  You are called to come alongside your husband and cheer him on - calling him to be the man God wants him to be - and cheering loudly for him whenever he shows the slightest inkling toward that call.  Let me let you ladies in on a secret.  (All men need to stop reading at this point - and if you do - please do not bring up a vote to have my man-card revoked). 

Ladies, your words are so very impotant to your husband.  You may think he doesn't listen - but he hears every word you say.  Whether he chooses to admit it or not - your words are more important to him than any other that are spoken during his day.  When you cut him down and constantly criticize him - it does more damage than a thousand comments made by anyone else.  The reason this guy is living on the corner of his rooftop - is because he is hurting so bad that any indignity or discomfort would be better for him.  He hurts because rather than being encouraged by his wife - he is torn down.  That is something that honestly cannot be fixed by anything other than you changing how you speak to him.  Yes, I understand that often men are lazy and not exactly taking up the mantle to be God's man.  Yes, I understand that you get frustrated waiting for him to be that man.  Yes, I also understand that it is not fair for him to dump the spiritual leadership of your home on you.  BUT . . . being contentious will not help matters at all.  Men will react to this by retreating further from their God-given task.  If you would praise him and encourage him when you see the slightest advance, you might be surprised at what begins to happen.  Who knows, you might even see him pack up his stuff from the corner of the roof (or man-cave, or garage, or shop, or wherever he hides) and emotionally and spiritually move back into the home.  All I know is that wisdom tells me that we get more flies with honey than with vinegar.  That means a sweet and gentle spirit will yield far more from your man than being contentious and filled with strife.

Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad, That I may reply to him who reproaches me. Proverbs 27:11

When we have wise sons it is a joy to our hearts as fathers.  That is why it is so vital that the current generation of fathers take on the task of rearing a generation of sons who reject this present evil world and its ways and choose instead to live according to the wisdom God offers to us in the Scriptures. 

What I think we have here is the frustrated cry of a father.  He is frustrated because he desires for his son to be wise - yet, he is facing criticism and reproach because he is not.  It may be the cry of a father who has seen men before him - godly men in their own right - and yet they were subject to reproach because of the character and choices of their sons after them.  The father may have been a man of God - a man of great godly character and actions.  He may have been a leader - an example himself.  The problem is that his son does not walk in the same way. 

Think about Samuel the prophet for a moment in this light.  He was a man of God - unparalleled in how he served God with all his heart.  Yet the one thing that caused the downfall of his ministry - was the way that his sons lived.  At the close of his life the people of Israel asked for a king.  They asked, not because Samuel was inadequate as a prophet.  They asked because by their own admission, Samuel's sons did not walk in his ways.  Samuel, as godly as he was - had not learned the lesson of Eli's lack of godly fathering of his sons.  Eli's sons were ungodly - and their actions led to the people not being led by godly men.  Now, Samuel, after seeing God bring Israel back to Himself - now watched as they rejected the Lord as king over them - because they would have to trust Samuel's sons to lead them after Samuel's death.  This they did not want - because Samuel's sons were not men of God. 

The cry of a godly father who is reproached when his sons do not walk in his ways - is that they would be wise and godly.  But as we look back on much of biblical history - it is one littered with godly men whose very sons did not follow in their daddy's footsteps.  So what are we to learn here from this passage about wisdom?

Fathers, please hear me for a few moments here.  You may have a legacy in your own actions that blows everyone away - but it will mean little to you later in life if your sons do not walk in your ways.  God calls us as fathers to love our children by rearing them to walk with Him.  That is a task that we cannot ignore - no matter how successful we are.  It will come to haunt us - as it did Samuel, as it did Solomon, as it did Hezekiah.  These men were all godly in their own right - but their sons did not walk in their ways.  In all three cases, the legacy of these men was not carried on through their sons.  They turned from following the Lord and the result was pretty disastrous for them - and for the people whom they were supposed to lead. 

Wisdom is found in a father who leads and teaches his son to walk wisely.  He does so as one of the most important things he can possibly do in life.  The detriment to our society and the church within it cannot be possibly be calculated because our sons often do not walk in our ways.  Men leave carnage behind them when they do not walk with God.  God wants men to lead in spiritual matters - but when they don't - or sadly can't - what they leave behind is much reason for us to reproach their fathers for not making as an ultimate priority the responsibility to bring up godly sons after them.