He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:27 Talking when we should not say anything is something that can keep us from a world of trouble. Most of us, myself included, have a difficult time restraining our words. This is especially the case when we are being provoked or treated unjustly. Those are the times when we are tempted to speak - and to speak out of emotion and anything other than a "cool spirit" as mentioned here. Wisdom tells us that it is better to use few words than many. Wisdom tells us to use no words at all when we are angry and bitter. Wisdom reminds us that such words are usually spoken out of our flesh rather than having the Holy Spirit empowered self-control that is needed. We are told that a man of insight and discernment - a man who knows as he should and who understands things well - that man will hold back words. He will restrain himself from speaking and from saying what comes to his mind. He may want to say something, but wisdom tells him to keep his thoughts to Himself. The reason for this is found in the second half of today's proverb. He maintains a cool spirit. The word for "cool" here is the Hebrew word "qar" which means to be cool or even-tempered. The word refers to a cold refreshing drink of water - which was though to soothe the soul of the one who drank it. In the arid, hot middle east - such a drink would truly refresh the soul and cool the heat of the moment. The wise man maintains a cool spirit and does not allow provocation and rage to send him over the edge emotionally. Such a man is one who has understanding. He understands that such outbursts do nothing to calm a situation. He understands that one act of anger and agression usually leads to another. Circumsntances like this can cause a man or woman to lose their temper and result in far worse damage and grief than just remaining quiet. Jesus was abused before the Roman rulers, the Jewish rulers, and the entire Sanhedrin - yet He held His tongue through it all. It is one of the most amazing displays of self-control ever known to mankind. The result of His self-control was the salvation of mankind. He said in the garden that God would make 12 legions of angels available to Him. But He never reacted - and maintained a cool spirit. He fulfilled God's purposes in the crucifixion, even though such purposes demanded several ridiculously illegal trials. He also fulfilled a prophecy that said he would be like a sheep silent before its shearers ( Isaiah 53:7). Many in our day think a powerful man is one who demands his rights and does not take anything from anyone. It takes no real strength to be a fool after this order. This fits perfectly with the fall of man and the conduct that such men carry out daily. The powerful man is the one who can exercise great self-control in the face of problems and even terrible miscarriages of justice. Such self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit who works powerfully to grant a man such strength to keep his mouth shut. Such a man also shows by his silence the wisdom of his actions and heart - rather than the other man who speaks rashly and proves to all around him that he is nothing more than a fool.
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32 It is interesting that the wisdom of God puts greater value on persistant patience, longsuffering, and goodness than on sheer physical strength. Self-control was something that was more valued than military heroism. Who truly is the strong man? Is he the guy who can flex his muscles and take up a sword and lead an army? Or could it be the one who can control his own passions and prevent a battle from ever needing to take place? Could it be that part of the downfall of Goliath was the anger with which he carried out his attack on David? Could it be that in running to the battle line, he did not take care to fight not just with strength, but with wisdom? Could it be that Egypt's anger and rage led them to ride foolishly into the midst of the Red Sea - when everything should have told them to halt their attack? So often the ability to rule our spirit is one of the most difficult things we have to do in life. To halt our tongue from speaking in anger - to refrain from entering the fray when our feelings are hurt - to stop a fight before it begins - all these are not easy things to do - and require a depth and strength of character that is often lacking in men and women. Samson was indeed a strong, mighty man - physically. But he did not "rule his spirit" at all when it came to anger - and other more dangerous passions. In the end - though he did many mighty acts of valor - he was overcome by the wiles of a woman who knew his lack of control over his spirit. Great fighters know how to get their opponents angry - for then they will no longer be controlled by their mind - but by their rage. It is in such moments that the majority of them make a fatal mistake - and the more talented - more controlled boxer - finds his opening and knocks out his opponent with little more than a blow or two. We too need to be men who not just physically are strong - but are spiritually and morally strong as well. But the truly wise among us know that such a feat of strength is beyond our flesh. It is only Christ Who truly mastered sin and took it to the grave with Him. He rose victorious over it - and granted to us, through His resurrection, the power to win this illusive victory. It is His power that will allow us to master the most difficult foe of all - that of mastery of our own spirit. Then, dear brothers and sisters, is when we are truly mighty - when we are truly strong - and when we are truly a champion. Just know that the only way this can happen is by coming to know and walk with the ONLY Champion - Jesus Christ!
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute. Proverbs 15:18
Whenever we face a situation where we can react in anger we have a choice. I know that some don't think so because they say that so-in-so made me angry - or such-and-such a situation made me mad. The facts would say something much different. They say that we control our temperment - not that circumstances and people control what we do. Today's proverb helps us understand this. Each day as we begin to interact with people and face a world filled with its varicolored situations, we need to do so making a conscious choice. What that choice should be is the topic of God's wise counsel to us in this verse.
We have a choice whether we are going to be "hot-tempered" or not. The Hebrew word for "hot-tempered" is very instructive and descriptive here. It is "chemah" and means to be rage-filled, angry, and filled with poison or venom. This is fascinating because we need to make a conscious choice not to have the venom and poison of the evil one flowing through our veins as we walk through our day. By this I am not saying that we are demon possessed or anything fantastical like that. Instead I refer to a much more subtle thing that energizes the strife that will follow such a man through his day. Let me explain.
Each day we live we interact with others and with our environment from morning to night. As we do this we have both problems and problem people come into our lives. It is possible as we do this to be bitten by the evil one in such a way that his venom and poison enters our system. This usually happens when someone hurts our feelings - or tramples what we perceive to be our right to be treated better or with a certain modicum of respect. It can also happen when we begin to entertain the thought that a certain set of providential circumstances are a raw deal. If we are not careful to cry out to God to remove such venom from the veins of our thinking and our heart - it can begin to do its insidious work in us. Over time this poison will turn to bitterness against someone - resentment grows to a point where what at first was an annoyance becomes a seething cauldron of anger and rage toward someone. In regard to circumstances that our God allows providentially in our lives, we can think Him cruel and uncaring. This poison will turn our hearts a deep shade of bitter - and we soon find it hard to read His Word, pray, and ultimately to trust Hiim to cause all things to work for good. As the infection spreads deeper in our reasoning, we soon become angry at our core - which is where this one is in this verse. Thus the temper of his soul is such that he is constantly stirring up strife. I've known men over the years who say that trouble seems to follow them. But in a majority of the cases, they were one who had allowed the venom of the evil one through slights and circumstantial difficulties to reach a critical mass in their hearts. The trouble they perceived to follow them - really was trouble that they encoruaged because they are so angry in their core. I've even watched this in some who do this not through active agression - but through passive-agressive actions and words (or the lack of them).
There is another choice we can make in the Lord. That is that we become those who calm disputes. These are those who have at their core a work of the grace of God that makes them slow to anger. The Hebrew word used for this is one that is also used to describe long pinions - which are the largest feathers on the wing of birds. These particular feathers are used in birds to reduce drag on their wings thus helping them control both the wind and the turbulence that is natural in the sky while they fly. What an astounding picture this is for us of the patient, long-suffering man who chooses to calm disputes rather than fuel them. Like a bird who uses their long pinions to ride the wind while diffusing the problems it causes - these people ride the events of everyday life. They choose to deflect and diffuse both the insults and indignities of life - as well as the problematic providences that we cannot change. Rather than having such things make their flight a bumpy one, their choice to be slow to anger allows them to ride the difficulties of living on earth rather than having the things of earth ride rough-shod over them.
A wise man knows that life is not going to be fair - neither is it going to bow down and kiss his feet every day. He knows that since we live in a fallen world, that he will run into fallen people who act . . . well, they act fallen. Therefore he chooses to turn to God, who deals with the indignities of over 7 billion people daily, and yet who does not consume them with His wrath. This grace daily allows him to stretch forth his spiritual pinions and diffuse the problems and the poison that would turn him from being a peaceful, gracious man into an angry strife-ridden one. May God give us mercy that we would be such men and women.
A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of evil devices is hated. Proverbs 14:17 One of the most often repeated mistakes in life is reacting in anger quickly and because we do, making very foolish choices. That is what today's proverb warns against. We are told that a quick-tempered man acts foolishly. This quick-temper means to have a temper that is hasty in what it says and does. It is a man filled with impatience and has what a Hebrew would refer to as a "short spirit." The idea behind this concept is a man who is not truly in control of his spirit. When something happens that irritates him - he reacts quickly. He is weak in his moral disposition - and therefore will be prone to outbursts of anger and temper. The real problem this poses is that the man who is so "quick-tempered" is unable to make wise decisions. Wise decisions are made because we can step back from things and see them from God's perspective. The quick-tempered man cannot do this. He reacts quickly to problems and irritations in life. The quick knee-jerk reactions he makes gets him into a world of hurt. A fool does not think through what he is about to say or do. A wise man considers his words and steps and often resists saying or doing things that wisdom counsels against doing and saying. The second half of this proverb says that a man of evil devices is hated. The words "evil devices" is the Hebrew word, "mezimmah" which means a plan or thought. This term is used to describes the evil plans, schemes, and plots of humanity that are contrary to the will and Word of God. How is this related to the first half of this proverb? The plans and schemes that arise out of anger and rage are more than you can ever imagine. So often a person who has committed a murder or some other heinous crime did so because he or she was acting in anger. Someone has deeply offended them - or hurt them deeply - and instead of acting with wisdom and tempering their reaction - they want to act. Some grab a gun and shoot someone, killing them in the heat of their passionate outrage. Others blow their stack and then simmer in their anger until it moves them to hatch a horrible plot that they will wind up regretting for the rest of their lives. Just as the proverb says, the one who acts on this evil plot or scheme is hated. It does not matter what originally motivated them to these actions, others hate the outcome of their hatred, anger, and evil devices. We are reminded in this proverb that patience IS a virtue! We are to be slow to anger - and rich in mercy - just like our God and Father. These things will keep us from reacting in our anger and doing something truly foolish.
A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression. Proverbs 19:11
What is it that can give us the ability to be patient with others? What would we need to develop in our lives and our thinking that would make us someone who is quick to forgive and gracious to those who provoke us? That is actually what Solomon, through the Holy Spirit, is about to tell us. I don't know about you - but when I read this particular proverb, I get excited. Unbeknownst to everyone except all those who are around me - I can become impatient. When I get impatient, unfortunately other sins are soon to follow, like anger, resentment, and unforgiveness. Therefore knowing the thing that will allow me to be slow to anger and forgiving is vital to me. Let's take a look and see that that thing is.
Discretion is what the Bible says will make us slow to anger. And of course our very next question is, "What is discretion - and how does someone have it in their lives. Discretion is the Hebrew word, "sekel" and it means discretion received due to intelligence and good sense. But Zhodiates goes further in his definition describing just what this is. He says, "This intellegence is more than just mere book knowledge or learning about a particular subject. It has a greater significance and means insight or understanding. It is having this intelligence and insight that gives a person that ability to have patience." (Complete Word Study Dictionary, Zhodiates)
This intelligence and insight is ascribed to Abigail in the Word of God in 1 Samuel 25:3. She was said to be a beautiful women who had intelligence. That intelligence kept her entire family from being destroyed when her husband treated David with contempt. She found out about her husband's sin and lack of graciousness and quickly rode to meet David with a generous gift (which should have been given in the first place). David, for his part, was riding with a large group of valient men to avenge himself because of the anger that rose up within him when he was spited by Abigail's husband. It was Abigail's ability to discern what was about to happen to her family - that moved her to calm David's anger with a proper apology and gracious gift.
Anger tends to make us not think about what we are doing. It is usually a reaction to the fact that we cannot control our own situation and the people around us - or - it is a reaction to how we view the way we have been treated by others. Discretion makes us slow to anger. There are still times when we should be angry about how we've been treated - or - how others have acted. But it is better when we are slow to anger. That way our anger is not a reaction (esepecially the ones where we blow up at someone) - but a clear decision that is guided by reason and understanding - not just passion and perceived slight. We take a moment or how many moments are necessary to step back and think through what we are about to say or do. We take time to consider the other person - and to consider their situation. The old addage of walking a mile in their shoes is appropriate here.
The other thing that this understanding and knowledge will help us to consider is that it is a glory to overlook a transgression. Think for a moment what life would be like if everyone demanded instant justice on all matters where they think something wrong has been done to them. The world would be filled with vigilante justice everywhere. Life would consist of moving from one slight to another - demanding that there be payment for how we've been wronged. There would be no peace - and very few relationships would go well. Thus it is better for us to simply overlook a transgression (real or imagined). It is far better for most relationships to have a measure of grace and forgiveness (often the more the better!) than for them to demand instant justice at all times.
Taking these two things - discretion when faced with a wrong done - and forgiveness and grace when we experience another's transgression - are key to productive, happy relationships. It is so helpful to remember the grace given to us when these things happen. God did not demand instant justice with reference to our transgressions. He chose to show mercy - and later to forgive when the payment had been made by His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. This has been to His everlasting glory for ages. How we need to see this - and seek to emulate it in all our relationships in life. That, dear saints, is wisdom - and it is to the glory of God.
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