Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro

The Excellent Wife, day 6 - Her Speaking and Teaching - Proverbs 31:26

03/26/2013

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She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

The excellent wife is a doer, which we have seen throughout this entire portrait. But we learn in verse 26 that she is also a teacher - and one whose words are a blessing to all those who hear them. Let's take a look at the two pictures that are painted for us, describing this aspect of the excellent wife.

First we see that she speaks wisdom. The picture that is painted for us is a woman who when she sees the need of breaking silence with her mouth - speaks and wisdom pours from her. The phrase "opens her mouth," is a Hebraism meaning what is under her tongue or ready to proceed from her mouth. It has the idea that as soon as her mouth opens to speak - wisdom pours forth from it. The Jewish scholars believed that this woman's heart was so filled with this wisdom from God that the moment she opened her mouth it naturally flowed from it. This is the kind of woman yiou want to be around when she did speak. She was the female embodiment of E.F. Hutton - who when she speaks - you should listen! 

The second thing we learn about her is that "the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." There are two ways of reading this - and honestly I think either is correct. The first way would be to say that she teaches of kindness to others. The word for kindness here is the Hebrew word "chesed." This word is the one that is closest to the New Testaement concept of agape love that we have in the Old Testament. The word meant both goodness and kindness - and referred to God's covenant love. She taught of God's great covenant love. She taught of a God who loved His people, showing them His kindness and His goodness to them. But the second way of seeing this is that she was loving as she taught. The reason I feel that either is applicable is that they compliment each other so well. One who teaches of God's love would, of course, be one who showed it as well even as she taught. 

The excellent wife is not just a worker - but a lover - and one who loves as God Himself does. She speaks wisdom and teaches of love. These are two wonderful aspects of God that every family member and especially the children need to learn. That is why the excellent wife is so ready to speak of such things whenever she opens her mouth. She is a source of blessing therefore not only in all that she does for this family - but also in all she speaks and teaches as well.



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Think Before You Speak - Proverbs 29:20

12/05/2012

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Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. Proverbs 29:20

There is a saying that is used to help people see that they need to think before they do something. That phrase is, "Look before you leap." After reading this proverb I think there should be a second phrase developed and used to help us keep from sticking our foot in our mouth - saying things that hurt others and damage our testimony. That phrase is, "Think before you speak!"

There is great wisdom in taking a moment to think about what you are going to say. It may slow you down in communicating, but in the end it will keep you from saying things that you will regret later. Proverbs 10:19 tells us, "When there are many words, trangression is unavoidable, but a wise man restrains his words." It won't hurt us to take a moment to think about what we are about to say - it will actually bless us - and keep us from sin. It might be helpful on a test to write down the first answer that comes to our mind - but it is usually not helpful to speak the first thing that comes into our heads. I know many times in my life that doing that would have seriously damaged relationships.

The wise thing to say is the thing we have contemplated or thought about. When we are hasty in our words we will be careless in them as well. That can lead to hurtful words being spoken. It is wise for us to remember that we are fallen, sinful men and women. It is also wise for us to remember that we can speak out of our flesh or out of God's Spirit. Let me quote Galatians 5 to give you an idea of what will come from each of these two sources.

The flesh will yield these things. "Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." There is a list we want to avoid at all costs. These are the things that damage and possibly even nd relationships. Our mouths do not need to speak from the flesh. Here is why we do not want to be hasty in our words. Stop and consider the source - and if it resembles these kinds of words - don't say anything. This is even more important when we are angry or we feel hurt or misunderstood. Better to take our time communicating before we speak in these circumstances. It may even be wise to ask clarifying questions like, "What did you mean when you said this?" Often we receive slight where slight was not meant to be commuicated to us. Thinking before we speak will allow us to step back and clarify what we heard before we decide to respond to it.

Speaking out of the Spirit involves yielding ourselves to the Holy Spirit. It means stopping and listening to the counsel of the Spirit as He guides us through every situation we face. Here is what we can expect to come out of our mouths when we do this. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." Two benefits from stopping and listening to the Holy Spirit will be first, the much better words that will come from us - words of love and the other wonderful characteristics that are mentiioned here. But a second benefit will also be the way our "passions and desires" will be crucified as we do not yield to the flesh, but walk in the Spirit.

I am what is called a "verbal processor," which means I do better when I can talk through things. That comes with some pretty dangerous territory, because if I do this with someone I can say some pretty stupid things before I reason through my feelings and my attitudes. That is why God has greatly encouraged me to verbally process with Him - and not so much with everyone else. David verbally processed with God often in the Psalms. It is why some of them seem to say pretty rough things at first - but end in praising God and David submitting himself to God. The Lord can handle this where humans cannot. So, if you need to talk - talk to God - about your difficult things - about everything. But be careful to "think before you speak" with men. Solomon tells us that if we don't do this - there is more hope for a fool than for us. That is a pretty tough thing to face - but then again - I've faced some pretty difficult things because I was too foolish to "think before I speak."
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Beautiful, Healing, Honey-Like Words - Proverbs 16:24

03/02/2012

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Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." That is a quote from my dearest mother - and from mothers for generations. My mom was not wanting me to refrain from saying the truth if it was hard - but she was wanting me to learn the principle behind today's proverb of the day. That proverb tells us the wonderful value of speaking pleasant words to others.

The word for "pleasant" here is the Hebrew word, "noam." This word means something beautiful, pleasant, and delightful. The word was used to speak of things that were sen or beheld that were of this nature. The word is used in Psalm 27:4 of the splendor of the Lord. It means to say something that creates delight in someone - yet the words do this because they are wise words as well. The word is also used figuratively of a shepherd's staff and the comfort that is brings to the sheep as it guides them in a good way.

When we speak these pleasant words, we are speaking of God's wisdom - but speaking it in a way that befits the term "honeycomb." We remember a former proverb that told us that more flies are caught with honey than with vinegar. The idea here is that a wise man speaks his words of wisdom - but does so remembering that a harsh word stirs up anger - but soft words can break a bone. Therefore he tries as often as possible to speak pleasant words as he offers the wisdom of God to others. We read here that these words are like a honeycomb. This presents a wonderful picture of nature for us - that points to the value of these pleasant words.

A honeycomb is a wonderful thing in the physical world. It is the place where bees store their honey when they work gathering nectar from flowers around them. They honeycomb was considered the nectar of the gods by the early Greeks because of all the healing properties that they found in it. First it is very healing to skin - even fuctioning as a wonderful antiseptic for skin wounds. It is also healing in that it has been found to have a tremendous amount of anti-oxidents within it. There is also an aspect of honey's usefulness that applies to allergies. In the early days of history people would chew on the honeycomb to help relieve severe allergies. Allergists today say that if we will get local honeycomb and chew on it one to two weeks prior to spring, our sinus and eye allergies would be greatly reduced.

The blessing here is to the soul and the bones of the body. The bones are the source of our blood supply - therefore were seen as the very life-force of the body. Therefore what we are told here is that we become such a blessing to others when we speak gracious and pleasant words to others. Such words will be a soul-healing thing to those who hear them. Just as honeycomb is healthy for our bodies - so beautiful words are to our souls.

Think with me for a moment or two of the majority of words that we hear in our world today. We are currently in an election cycle in our country. We cringe as we realize that once again we are going to be bombarded with the most negative statements made by each candidate about their opponents. The air is heavy with the negativity and the stench of character assassination. This seems to spill over into our world as just about everyone gets caught up - not in pleasant and beautiful words - but in the dark, evil, damaging words of the campaigns. It has gotten to where the two sides are so hateful to each other that there is no middle ground - or ways that we can even speak of the other side without incurring the wrath of someone thinking that we are selling out.

Let me encourage you in the midst of this time to do something to counter our culture. Do you very best to speak as many "pleasant" words as possible to one another. Take the time to notice something good about as many situations and circumstances as possible. Make it your goal to look for the pleasant every single day and speak of it glowingly. Do your utmost to find as much to say about the goodness and grace of God as possible. This way we can be a healing influence in a society that desperately needs a little good news that actually nourishes our souls!
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