Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro

Mr. Flared Nostrils and His Unfortunate End - Proverbs 29:22

12/09/2012

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An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. Proverbs 29:22

A man who flares his nostrils and who is easily filled with passionate anger about things is not going to be a godly or wise man. That is what today's proverb teaches us. Let's look at how anger that is not controlled by the Spirit of God can be a very dangerous thing in our lives.

The "angry man" in this proverb is one who often flares his nostrils. That picture to the Hebrew was a picture of a man who often became angry. We read that this is not wise because such a man often stirs up strife. His easily angered temperment will be the source of much fighting. He will not be long suffering and patient. He will grumble and complain thereby stirring up strife and anger in others. This will lead to a situaiton where he seems to be constantly surrounded by others who are angry - or who have grievances against the ones he is angry with as well. There will be a controversy swirling about him that never seems to die down. Problems and broken relationships will be all around him as the proverbial pot is always being stirred.

This man is likened to a "hot-tempered" man. His temperment is set so that it will boil over very easily. He becomes angry quickly - and that anger will lead to arguments and problems often. Contrary to this is the man surrendered to the Holy Spirit whose fruit is peace, patience, gentleness - and - self-control. Slights and problems roll off the Spirit filled man like water off a duck's back. He is a peacemaker and as such is known as one of the sons of God.

King Saul had these bad traits in his life. He perceived a slight when the women sang that He had slain thousands and David ten thousands. Jealousy and envy bred anger in King Saul that boiled over in many angry and hot-tempered acts. He was well known for dealing with his anger not by patience and long-suffering, but by throwing spears. He threw them at David because of his jealousy. He threw them because he did not want to deal with his own sin - and came to hate David for how God was with him. He eventually threw them at his own son because he dared love and protect David. His hot-tempered ways led him to kill all the priests in the city of Nob becasue he raged against the priest seeking The Lord on David's behalf. His uncontrolled anger led him away from God and into abounding levels of transgression and sin. That is what our proverb warns against today. We are warned that an uncontrolled temper let loose in fits of anger will land us in an abundance of sin. If we are not careful we will wind up like Saul whom God would not answer - and whom God removed because of his sin.

Patience is a virtue. It is a godly thing to be able to handle a slight - an insult - a perceived put down - and act graciously and godly - without a descent into a fit of anger. A wise man knows that it is not the estimation of men that matters - but the Word of God. Be careful therefore to learn graciousness, kindness, and the ability to be slow to anger. That is the heart of our God - and when we are filled with His Spirit and instructed by His Word - our's as well.
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Why a Guy Might Prefer the Roof-corner Hilton Rather Than Home - Proverbs 25:24

09/05/2012

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It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 25:24

I find it interesting that a man who had hundreds of wives - felt the need to comment identically on the contentious and quarrelsome ones. This is almost an exact repeat of a previous proverb in chapter 21, verse 9. What Solomon has to say about this is pretty severe.

To live on a corner of a roof would be very uncomfortable in Israel. The houses of that time had flat roofs - and Scripture required them to build a wall around the top so that people would not fall off of them. Often they would have a set of stairs on the side of the home that led to the top of the house. But to live there would be very uncomfortable. In the summer months the roof would be unbearably hot with the sun beating down upon the poor man's brow. In the winter, or the rainy season, it would be wet and cold there. Yet Solomon states that this would be better than to be in even a palace with a contentious woman.

It might be good for us to see what a "contentious" woman looks like - or better acts like. The word used here is "madon" and its basic meaning is strife or dissension. It refers to a quarrel or dispute that is so filled with anger and bitterness that it cannot be stopped once it starts. That is why Proverbs 17:14 counsels us to abandon such a disupute before it breaks out. But the contetious woman knows no such self-restraint. Her pride and unwillingness to submit to God results in her not only entering into disputes - but even engineering and starting them. This same word is used in Proverbs 18:19 to speak of how strife creates strong barriers between people. The contentious woman doesn't care about this because her heart is already bitter and filled with resentment. Rather than avoid conflicts that result in relational barriers - she fights from hers and builds it higher. A few other verses that use this word indicate to us the following: 1) This kind of contention spreads to other people (Proverbs 6:14, 19), 2) it comes from someone who is hot-tempered and given to fits of anger (Proverbs 15:18), and 3) it is stirred by hatred which is lodged in this woman's heart - which is why she rejects loving, selfless responses and chooses her rage instead (PRoverbs 10:12). What an terrible picture is painted of this contentious woman who loves and embraces anger, bitterness, and loveless rage.

Now you might understand why this guy wants to live on the edge of his roof. He chooses this rather than to be in a house with this lady. Life is miserable for him - and he would choose misery among the elements than even a few moments with this train-wreck of a woman. But, honestly for Solomon, such a situation wasn't exactly prevented by having so many wives and so many concubines. Living among that many women vying for the affection of one very selfish, sexually out of control man, could not have been a picnic. This is why the second reference to this circumstance should be used for wisdom in two ways for us. First - be careful not to marry a bitter woman who overflows with resentment and anger. Second - don't create one either by being a man who is unwise in how he approaches the marriage covenant. Be faithful to one woman in your lifetime. And love her in such a way that she will not ever have the problem of being a contentious wife.

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From Red-faced Men to Glory-faced Men - Proverbs 22:24-25

08/11/2012

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Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself.   Proverbs 22:24-25
 
Having angry friends will eventually train you to be an angry man.  That is the gist of today's proverb.  The statement, "do not associate" speaks of friendship.  It speaks of those with whom we have close relationships.  We are to avoid thos who are "given to anger" - meaning those who give themselves over to their anger.  They do not control their anger - their anger controls them.  If we wonder what a man given to anger looks like, we receive a little better description of him immediately afterward.  He is referred to as a "hot-tempered man."  The Hebrew here is very descriptive - referring to this man as a "hot-headed" man.  The picture is of the angry man who becomes red in the face as he blows his top.  We've all seen that before and need no further description to know about what the Bible is speaking.  
 
The reason why we are not to have a friend who has serious anger problems is because of the principle of friendship.  Here is the old west version of this principle  Those we hang with may be the reason we are being hanged.  In modern terms this principle is simply this.  We will learn the behavior of our friends.  The Bible puts it this way, "Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals." (1 Corinthians 15:33)  Therefore if we become close friends with a red-faced man - we will eventually be like him.  We will learn his ways.  The end of this is even more problematic.  We will, through this situation, find a snare for ourselves.  
 
The snare mentioned here is that we ourselves will become a "red-faced man."  The anger that is in our close associate - will begin to manifest itself in our lives.  Just a few days ago I was listening to a message by pastor Ken Graves and he made a devastatingly true comment about those who say that they have an "anger problem."  Pastor Graves stated, "You don't have an anger problem, you have a self-love problem."  That is a crushing thing to grasp when God first reveals it to you.  Of course, this is only true because we pamper ourselves and justify our anger.  We don't like it when people treat us badly - because we love ourselves so dearly.  People should realize that we are worthy of far better treatment.  If they just knew how truly awesome we are - like we know ourselves to be awesome - they'd treat us much better.  Therefore we are justified in our anger - because a truly awesome person is being wronged!  There, dear brothers, is the snare.  The snare is not anger itself - but the self-love that perpetuates it.
 
God commands us to be angry - but not sin - and not to let the sun go down on our anger.  There are truly righteous reasons to be angry (and none of them involve a love of self).  Jesus was angry when He cleansed the temple courts.  His anger was a righteous indignation that His Father's glory was being denigrated by making the place of worship and prayer a den of thieves.  But other times Jesus was insulted, called terrible names, and even beaten and crucified - and did not react angrily.  Maybe we should associate with Him and learn His ways?  The Word tells us that if we take His yoke upon us and learn of His ways - we will find peace for our souls.    God's promise is that as we behold as in a mirror the glory of the Lord - we will be changed into that same image from glory to glory.  Our character will truly reflect the glory of Jesus temperment.  We will be changed from "red-faced" men to being "glory-faced' men.
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When a House Becomes a Fight Club - Proverbs 21:19

07/13/2012

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It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman.   Proverbs 21:19
 
Here we have a proverb about making a wise choice of our mate - or more specifically the wise choice of the right kind of wife.  We see two words used to describe the wrong kind of woman, as well as one phrase used to describe what we will want to do if we choose one like this.  
 
The first word used to describe a woman to avoid is the word contentious.  This is the Hebrew word "madon" and it means one who is filled with strife and contention.  This is a person always ready for a quarrel or dispute.  These things come from a heart that is not right with God and a temper that is not under control.  The man who marries such a woman will find that this contention, quarrelling, and strife will fill his home.  There will always seem to be a problem - and that problem will lead to arguments and strong contentions.  The home itself will not be a refuge - but a fight club.  
 
The second word used here is the word vexing.  This is the Hebrew word "kaas" which means vexation.  This is a word we seldom use any longer - but it means to provoke someone to anger.  The wrong kind of wife is one who herself is angry - and who seems to have as a goal provoking everyone else to anger as well.  She is ready for a fight, which we get from the previous word - and she delights in being angry.  What a difficult life this would lead to for the man who marries such a woman.
 
God then warns us what will happen if we marry such a woman.  We will not enjoy living in our home.  In fact we would choose to live in the wilderness than stay there.  The stated New Testament purpose for a godly woman is to create a good home in which her husband and children can live.  But when a woman is angry, bitter, and itching for a fight, such a home will not be possible.  Her husband and family will prefer living in an inhospitible wilderness than that house - because the wilderness would seem far more hospitable than being with that woman in that house.
 
What a warning to us to choose our mates wisely.  It is also a warning to go beyond how a woman looks to how well kept her heart is.  Beauty will pass - and the vanity of looks will one day give way to the attractiveness of one's heart.  In that day a man will know that it was a wise thing that he sought first a woman who feared God than a woman who was a physical beauty alone.  Beauty is skin deep - but the ugliness of a wicked heart will torture for a lifetime.
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Going Deeper in Your Understanding about Anger and Quick-tempered Responses Proverbs 14:29

01/12/2012

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He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. Proverbs 14:29

We see throughout the book of Proverbs that a quick temper is a negative thing in a person's life. It can get us into a world of trouble. Here we read that the man who is quick-tempered exalts folly. Giving in to anger, resentment, and bitterness in our lives only exalts folly. The idea here expressed is that it is the "unthinking" and "unreasoning" way to live our lives. Anyone can become frustrated or angry and then give in to having a blowout that involves a temper flaring up and expressing itself in hurtful words or actions. That exalts stupidity and living foolishly. What then, can keep us from exalting folly by being quick-tempered?

The Bible says that someone who is slow to anger has great understanding. The word for understanding here is "tebunah" and it means to have both understanding and insight. It is taking both knowledge and wisdom and applying it in a way that helps us look into our anger and examine it before reacting. That indeed is wisdom. We need to ask ourselves the question, "Why am I so angry about this?" Looking into our reaction often will make us ask deeper questions and deal on a deeper level than just saying, "I'm so angry about this!"

When we probe our anger we need to be ready to run into personal issues that exist on the inside of our lives. I will never forget the shock it was to me when an older, wiser man told me the reason I got so angry with my children was because of my pride. On the inside I wanted to snap back that it was their disobedience that was making me mad - not something wrong with me. In no way was this man saying I should not have disciplined them for being disobedient and rebellious - he was only saying that I needed to see why at times I felt out of control while doing it. His wise counsel was that my pride and anger came from a desire to control my children - so they would never disobey. My reason behind this thought was that my kids made me look bad as a parent when they disobeyed - and that made me angry. A wise parent would know that children are GOING to be disobedient because they are sons of Adam.

The fall of man will ensure that every child will be disobedient and rebellious in some way. Therefore having a disobedient child does not mean you are a bad parent. A parent who is failing in their role is one who does not discipline his or her child for their disobedience. I was failing not because I was disciplining my child - but becasue at times I was doing so in anger. My anger was foolish because I was expecting my child never to disobey - so I would look good in other people's eyes. Therefore my anger - when disected with understanding - was due to a couple of foolish things. First, I was not grasping the true nature of a child. Second, I was wanting my child to be good so I would not be bothered with having to interrupt MY DAY with things I did not want to do. Third, the reason I wanted a "good child" was so that my glory could be advanced. When looking at my quick-tempered responses suddenly I was a little horrified (understatement of the year) at their root. It was pride! Therefore wisdom applied - understanding deepened - and a willingness to have the Holy Spirit probe deeper into my motivations yielded repentance . . . and it yielded an ability over time to be much slower to anger.

Let me encourage any of you who are struggling with being quick-tempered. Take the time to submit yourself to the Holy Spirit. Allow Him to take you deeper into your angry responses in order to look at them and see them at the level of your heart motivations. He will walk you through this process and will help you to understand why you have a quick-temper at times. I will not say that this is pleasant - but God will do it with a view to repentance and restoration. He will do so with great grace and comfort - as well as a little heart surgery that will help you to become someone who is far more slow to anger. You will find that His grace and His gospel will be enough to turn from quick-tempered foolishness to patient love and understanding.
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