Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro

Avoiding the Need of a Love-Siege - Proverbs 18:19

05/13/2012

0 Comments

 
A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.  Proverbs 18:19

Here is a proverb that is not difficult to understand, nor is it hard for us to see the ramifications of it in our everyday lives. We've all been in a situation where either we have offended someone, or we've been the offended party. We also all know how difficult it can be to remedy those situations. Therefore today's proverb just helps us see it in a word picture that is very descriptive and instructional.

The brother who is offended is harder to be won back to us than a strong city. The literal Hebrew here of the "strong city" is a walled city. To understand this we have to go back to days before there were air forces or artillery shells that could level a wall or a house. In those days a high, strong wall around a city was a formidible defense. When an army went within such a walled city, it was going to be very difficult to defeat them. The victorious strategy in these circumstances would involve a long seige of the city. It would involve starving the people until their ability to resist would be broken. It would also involve a final assault on the wall and the gates where they would be broken through - then the victory was assured. But such a seige might take months - and some of the more famous ones took even longer than a year. Therefore, when a brother is offended - he becomes like that walled city to our attempts to gain his trust and friendship again. That is why Proverbs 17:14 warns us that the beginning of a quarrel is like breaching a dam - therefore abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. Abandon your offensive actions and words - because if they come to the point of greatly offending someone, it will be very difficult to remedy the situation.

The second statement speaks of the bars of a citadel. The citadel was the place, usually at the center of the city where a large fortified tower was. It usually was high and barred. It had large stores of food and weapons for a last stand. If all else failed, the last people of the city would go here to try to make a last ditch stand against those who had breached the walls of the city. It was usually the place they would go to fight to the death - to the very last man.

Here is the picture shown to us about offending a brother. It is the one that warns us against having contentions, fights if you will, with a brother. Thus, we have MORE than just high walls to scale to overcome the problem of our brother being offended. We have to deal with the fact that even after we've breached the walls - they may retreat to the citadel to resist us to the bitter end. What a reminded to do all we can to be kind and gentle, loving and gracious, and patient and longsuffering in our dealings with our brothers. Too many don't practice such things and wind up seriously offending someone with their words or their actions. They don't think about the back end of such actions and choices. They don't consider how difficult this is going to be to fix. They don't see the walls being erected and the citadel of the heart being fortified against them. They are blind to all this - and blunder on in their offensive statements and actions. They are not wise in quickly diffusing arguments and abandoning quarrels. The sad result is broken relationships and long term bitterness in their familiies and with former friends.

Be wise, dear brothers and sisters, and see the value of being gracious and kind when you face a difficult relational situation. See the value of a long-term relationship with the other person rather than just wanting to win that particular argument. Realize that confrontation - even biblical, godly confrontation is something that needs to be approached in love - speaking in love - and acting in love. That may require hard words - but it seeks to avoid hard feelings. It helps us to enter into the problem with our eyes wide open not just to what we want solved, but even more importantly to the person with whom we want to solve them. We never need to forget that we work with people and want them to know two things more than anythinig else. Those two things are that God loves them and that no matter what the problem is - the answer ultimately will involve God's grace. With this is mind we need to respond both lovingly and graciously in all we say and do. That way we won't have to face a lengthy love siege in order to win back our brother.  
Add Comment
 

How to Break Up Friends and Separate People! Proverbs 16:28

03/12/2012

0 Comments

 
A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends. Proverbs 16:28

There are those who through their falsehood and gossip cause great harm to the relationships of others. This can be the case even with intimate friends. The first action of this man is to spread strife. The way that this man does this is through lies and slanderous falsehoods. He starts by lying to one friend of the other about the actions of their "so-called" friend. Those who will not listen to gossip will shut down this kind of ruiniation of another.

The slanderer is just as dangerous - but his falsehood and lies have a far more sinister goal in mind. He is not content to just spread strife and discord. Look at the proverb for today and not that the one filled with slander - does so not just to cause arguments - but also to separate a man from his friend. He has a target in view - and that target is a friendship of which he is very jealous. Why else would he desire to see this relationship destroyed.

Once someone can penetrate your mind with slanderous gossip - it is hard to remedy the situation. The desire is to serarate a man from his friend - so that the one who sabatoged this relationship can see it destroyed. That way he can have a better one - or at least keep the two former friends from making his relationships look weak and feeble. There are some who just are not happy unless they are making others miserable.

Be careful around such perverse, small-hearted people. They are filled with bitterness and hatred because they usually want what you have with a friend - but cannot get it because of their ungodly ways and how they are unable to maintain a relationship due to their own selfishness. Avoid these people like you would avoid the plague!

Add Comment
 

Rights, Slights, Fights, and the Wisdom of Choosing Mercy - Proverbs 12:16

11/16/2011

0 Comments

 
A fool's anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.  Proverbs 12:16

Ours is a society driven by rights and by slights.  We are told that we have rights - and as a result of this education we demand them all the time.  One of the rights that evidently is near the top of the list is the right never to be offended.  That is why we have political correct language that is being ever more strictly enforced in our nation.  We cannot say things that will offend anyone else.  If the society determines that a certain word or phrase is no longer allowed - that word or phrase is banished from our circles.  If someone were so foolish as to speak that word of phrase - he too will be banished - even fired from his job.  If he is in the public eye - he will be summarily destroyed and cast upon the trash heap for the foreseeable future - possibly forever.  We are the nation with the greatest law protecting free speech (our first ammendment) but also the greatest number of unwritten laws that restrict our speech as well as punish any who dare step over the line. 

Our proverb today would help us greatly with our problems societally.  We are first warned that only a fool's anger is known at once.  The fool has no patience, therefore he is often disgusted and angry with others around him.  He takes up the slighest offence - whether overt or covert - and becomes vexed about it immediately.  The word for anger here is the Hebrew word "kaas" which means to be provoked to anger.  The problem is that this man is easily provoked - and lets his anger blow the moment that he is.  As we read here - his anger is know at once.  He is unable to control himself - and also unable to let things roll off his back like water off of a duck.  Every slight - every potential offence is taken to the deepest part of his being and fully embraced.  There is little wonder therefore that he has a tendency to lose it whenever this happens.  He is offended - angry - disgusted - and filled with rage toward whoever has knowingly or unknowingly slighted him. 

The prudent man is the one who conceals this anger and offence.  He is able to ignore the slights and snubs of life.  He is able to deal with the insults and general indignities of living in the fallen world.  Because he knows the world is fallen - he is aware that things like this are bound to happen.  Because he knows he too is fallen - he is aware of the need to be gracious and kind as he carries on life in this world.  He has learned to conceal dishonor.  The word for dishonor here parallels the Hebrew word for forgiveness.  He chooses to forgive and show mercy and grace rather than demand judgment and justice for every slight.  He has learned that the merciful are blessed, for they too receive mercy. 

Learning to be a prudent and wise man in this way will help you live much longer.  The word prudent here is the Hebrew word "arum" which has the idea of being sensible.  A sensible man knows that unless he wants his world to be in a continual state of stress, anger, rage, and bitter unforgiveness - he needs to let insults and vexation they can cause roll off of him.  By this he keeps his blood pressure down - and his friendships up.  If you are prone to become angry and blow off steam in almost every situation beware.  You are ruining your own life and living like a fool.  Be wise - be understanding - and be aware of the fallen world in which you live.  Show mercy and grace - for it will bring you joy even in the midst of a world filled with plenty of ways to become frustrated and angered.

Add Comment
 

Love Your Neighbor - By Not Taking Advantage of Them - Proverbs 3:29-30

08/04/2011

0 Comments

 
Do not devise harm against your neighbor, While he lives securely beside you.  Do not contend with a man without cause, If he has done you no harm. Proverbs 3:29-30

How are we to treat our neighbor?  Here again we have a couple of verses in Proverbs that help us know how to love our neighbor as ourselves.  This has to do with how we treat neighbors who are living next to us, around us - and who pose no threat to our lives.  The reason for this instruction is to make sure that we truly do love our neighbor and treat them as we would have them treat us.  When someone takes advantage of their neighbor - when that neighbor has done nothing to arouse suspicion or cause harm - there is a total breakdown of trust in a society.  There should be a general safety that exists between neighbors that should make all of us not just feel safe - but actually be safe.  When that general sense of a society governed by the golden rule is gone - that society suffers greatly.

We are told not to devise harm against our neighbor who lives securely along with us in our society.  There should not be any kind of ill will toward our neighbor unless they have done us harm.  Even then we should embrace forgiveness rather than bitterness in our dealings with one another.  In commenting on this verse J. Vernon McGee had this great statement, "In relationship to your neighbor, don't do things that would be to your advantage and his disadvantage.  And don't try to keep up with the Jones by undermining the Joneses." 

Here is the crux of the wisdom that God is offering to us.  When we truly love one another - and care for each other - we will not take advantage of one another nor seek to harm each other.  This is the very core of how societies maintain a sense of well-being amongst the general population.  The best government in any society is self-government.  No human government can offer a sure protection to everyone in its borders.  That would require a police force of millions - and even then you would have to answer tne question of whether you could trust the police.  What is best for any society is self-government according to the Word of God.  This is when the individual takes the responsiblity to govern their own heart according to a moral standard established by God.  When this happens there is no need for a heavy police presence - because each person in the society is watching themselves first - to be sure that they are good citizens. 

When a society degenerates - it always begins with a degeneration of its view of God and practice of His principles on a personal level.  To the extent that we are no longer governed by ourselves and God's Word and Spirit - to that extent society will have to add rules and enforcement officers to try and rein in the wickedness of the human heart.  As the society continues to reject God and His ways, that society will continue to degenerate in how they treat one another.  Laws will eventually be downgraded to allow more and more ungodliness in the society - with the end being that good is called evil and evil is called good.  With each devaluation of God's Law not only will the morals of that society slide, but the sense of safety and well-being will slide along with it. 

When we first read these two verses they seemed almost too simplistic for us.  Yet as we look at the true ramifications of a society with a high level of self-government versus one that has all but abandoned this concept, we suddenly realize the great wisdom of God in what is said here.  This is how to have a peaceful, secure world.  To the extent that we embrace this model - we will have the peace and sense of safety it will provide.  But to the extend that we reject this - to that extent our society will lack safety, will lack peace, but worst of all it will lack among its people the nearness and blessing of God.
Add Comment
 

Hatred. Love, and Their Outcomes - Proverbs 10:12

04/10/2011

0 Comments

 
Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12

Two things are compared in this verse in Proverbs.  They are hatred and love.  We see the emotions and choices of both of these things - and because Proverbs is all about wisdom, we also see what they eventually will yield.  If you need a proverb that will aid you in having good relationships, this would be a great one to learn.

First we see hatred.  The word used here is "sinah" and it means a strong feeling of hatred.  It is used of hatred that one human feels toward another.  This hatred can be so strong that it can lead to murder - but it doesn't always end this way.  Usually the manifestation is that it leads to dissension and unrest between two people - and often a broken relationship.  Hatred may begin as a feeling - but soon hatred will bring us to a choice.  The choice that is illustrated here is that of strife.  Where someone has hatred in their heart, strife and discord cannot be far behind.  We can choose to deal with our hatred in a biblical fashion - which is what the second half of this proverb relates to us.  But if we will not deal with our hatred biblically - then that hatred will result in strife.  We are told that hatred "stirs up" strife.  The concept here is that of arousing and awakening someone.  It refers to an agitating action.  Hatred is a motivator - and it wants to motivate someone and agitate them to where they start a fight.  This can be verbal - or as we have seen in worst case scenarios - even physical to the point of death.  That is why we must immediately respond to hate when it rises up within our hearts. 

We might find it interesting that God wants us to hate sin and hate evil.  These are things God does not want us to have decent relationships with in life.  We are to hate these things - and allow that hatred to stir us to stiving with sin and godlessness until we reject and refuse them in our lives.  But when hatred is felt toward "someone" we are walking in dangerous territory.

The second half of this proverb tells us that love covers all transgressions.  The words used here are very expressive.  The love that is mentioned here is the very love of a man for a woman or the love of God for His people.  This kind of love is selfless, self-giving love.  When we love like this - it covers all transgressions.  The word "cover" is the Hebrew word "kasah" and it means to clothe or conceal something.  This is not the "cover-up" that we refer to when speaking of illegal activity.  It is the covering and concealing that happens when one thing covers another.  This word was used to speak of what the water did to the Egyptians when God had the Red Sea cover them.  It is also used metaphorically in the Scripture of something that covers the shame of the guilty.  But in order to fully understand what is said here we need to combine all the words used.  Love covers all transgression.  Transgression speaks of rebellion against God and His Law.  It speaks of rebellion of one individual against another. 

Love chooses to cover over these times of rebellion.  When we look at this whole proverb we see that the usual response to transgression and rebellion is hatred and the strife that results from it.  But what God desires is for us to respond with love - so that relationships will be blessed - even when one party doesn't contribute or want peace.

The most awesome way we see this truth illustrated is by God Himself with sinful mankind.  We have chosen rebellion and disobedience - even hatred of the things of God.  Yet God in His love chooses not to judge us immediately.  His love was manifest fully in Christ.  He chose to love us - and God manifests His love in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  This is love in its most glorious form.  That love covers all transgressions - and makes it possible for grace to bring salvation to men.  As we have reaped the glorious benefits of salvation from God's grace, may we also reap the blessings of donning His character in our response to slights of others.  This is the way to redeem a relationship rather than let it take the fallen,  natural course that is usually followed.  What a wisdom is ours when we see a whole way of relating to one another in the cross.  May God use it to bless you in your relationships in the weeks and months to come.
Add Comment
 

When Keeping Your Mouth Shut is Wise - Proverbs 11:12

02/11/2011

0 Comments

 
He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, But a man of understanding keeps silent. Proverbs 11:12

There is a time when we should keep our mouths shut.  We can be sure that when we are tempted to say something negative or hateful about a neighbor, it is one of those times.  It is far better to be gracious towards your neighbor and say something later when you see things clearly, then to comment and regret it for a long time to come.  Also . . . Scripture teaches us that if we are going to say something negative - we should first be willing to say it to them . . . face to face.

The word "despise" here means to hold someone in contempt.  It indicates that a man is despising another - disrespecting them and speaking out of that contempt.  We are warned several times in Proverbs to hold our tongues when we are feeling contempt for another person.  We are reminded that the fool is the one who speaks out of contempt for others.  Therefore the wise man knows how to hold his tongue and be gracious - even toward those for whom we feel contempt.  We are told that when we despise our neighbor, we lack sense.  The word for 'sense' in this passage is literally, "to have heart."  We lack God's heart for others when we respond and think of them only in contemptuous ways. 

That is something we should consider for a few moments today.  How does God respond to those for whom He feels contempt.  First of all, we need to remember that the good Samaritan teaches us that our neighbor is not just someone we like.  The neighbor in that parable was the Jewish man who was helped by the despised Samaritan.  The man set aside racial and social tensions and feelings,  and chose to love the man who was in need.  In the context of our current proverb, the neighbor is pretty much everyone - even those for whom we would naturally have contempt.  To despise them lacks having the heart of God for them.  God loves even sinful men.  He demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  So, despising our neighbor is foolish - even if we are despising someone we feel is deserving of it.  Just remember, we deserved God's judgment and wrath - yet He choose to show mercy while working for our redemption in Christ.  Let that be a hindrance to us reacting in our own self-righteous anger and attitude - and an encouragement to react in mercy as our loving Father in heaven does toward us.

The concluding statement of this proverb is that a man of understanding keeps silent.  The understanding here may be that he looks at things from the view of God's mercy.  It also may be that he sees that a brother offended is harder to win than a walled city.  It may be that he sees an opportunity for redemption and reconciliation of far greater worth than one used for a vitriolic diatribe at someone he despises in his emotions.  And to be honest - he may just see that the drama that will ensue is far better avoided.  His time, he wisely thinks, would be better spent praying for this person and keeping the lines of communication open.  In the end, his silence is far wiser than another's words of contempt and disrespect.
Add Comment