He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32 It is interesting that the wisdom of God puts greater value on persistant patience, longsuffering, and goodness than on sheer physical strength. Self-control was something that was more valued than military heroism. Who truly is the strong man? Is he the guy who can flex his muscles and take up a sword and lead an army? Or could it be the one who can control his own passions and prevent a battle from ever needing to take place? Could it be that part of the downfall of Goliath was the anger with which he carried out his attack on David? Could it be that in running to the battle line, he did not take care to fight not just with strength, but with wisdom? Could it be that Egypt's anger and rage led them to ride foolishly into the midst of the Red Sea - when everything should have told them to halt their attack? So often the ability to rule our spirit is one of the most difficult things we have to do in life. To halt our tongue from speaking in anger - to refrain from entering the fray when our feelings are hurt - to stop a fight before it begins - all these are not easy things to do - and require a depth and strength of character that is often lacking in men and women. Samson was indeed a strong, mighty man - physically. But he did not "rule his spirit" at all when it came to anger - and other more dangerous passions. In the end - though he did many mighty acts of valor - he was overcome by the wiles of a woman who knew his lack of control over his spirit. Great fighters know how to get their opponents angry - for then they will no longer be controlled by their mind - but by their rage. It is in such moments that the majority of them make a fatal mistake - and the more talented - more controlled boxer - finds his opening and knocks out his opponent with little more than a blow or two. We too need to be men who not just physically are strong - but are spiritually and morally strong as well. But the truly wise among us know that such a feat of strength is beyond our flesh. It is only Christ Who truly mastered sin and took it to the grave with Him. He rose victorious over it - and granted to us, through His resurrection, the power to win this illusive victory. It is His power that will allow us to master the most difficult foe of all - that of mastery of our own spirit. Then, dear brothers and sisters, is when we are truly mighty - when we are truly strong - and when we are truly a champion. Just know that the only way this can happen is by coming to know and walk with the ONLY Champion - Jesus Christ!
Your eyes will see strange things And your mind will utter perverse things. Proverbs 23:33 In our look at the life and times of the drunken fool we next encounter the physical effects of alcohol on our eyes and mouth. It is a proven fact medically that alcohol will affect our minds - and through that our ability to think and respond to things clearly. Our brains control both of these functions and since the brain has a large blood supply going to them, they are more quickly influenced by the alcohol levels rising in our blood due to drinking. Within less than an hour two major problems develop for the drunken fool. First the brain itself is hindered from its ability to have nerves function normally. Alcohol in the blood supply depresses our nerve conductivity - thus it also results in a slow down of our ability to think and react to things. Next as the blood alcohol level reaches muscles - our eye muscles will lose their full ability to function and we will begin to have blurred vision. As these things are multiplied by the drunken fool - the brain may begin to misinterpret information and won't react properly to stimuli that are coming to it. The more acute the situation the more that things become distorted with some even having hallucingenic conditions in their comprehension of what is happening to them. One thing I learned while researching these things on the internet is that this is why we should never drink and drive. The more drunk someone is - the more their ability to react to stimuli is impaired - making them very dangerous on the road. One test involved giving goggles to drivers that simulated various stages of drunkenness. At lower blood alcohol levels the failure level of drivers to pass even simple tests was frightening to see. Things only got worse as the person's blood alcohol levels rose. The second statement here is that not only will the drunken fool see strange things - but he will also say "perverse things." When the brain is filled with higher and higher levels of blood alcohol - the brains ability to filter things is severely hampered. Things that would normally be supressed flow freely. The fact that perversity flows more at these blood alcohol levels should be of little shock to us since we know that the Bible says that we are fallen and sinful. I've been around people who said the most horrible things when they were drunk. There are people who are the nicest most discreet folks until they get some liquor into them. Suddenly their mouths are transformed as they begin to curse and say sexually perverse things to the opposite sex. Some were horrified to learn how they spoke the next day as they recovered from their drunken state. Yet a simple reading of Romans chatper 3 should remind us that one of the traits of the sinful nature is its horrific effect on the mouth and the tongue. Romans 3:13-14 tells us that sinful man's throat is, "an open grave." We are also told, "With their tongues they keep deceiving. The poison of asps is under their lips." Finally we are reminded there that their mouths are, "full of cursing and bitterness." Oh how the mouth of fallen man is loosed without any discernment when alcohol numbs their thinking and their conscience. Unfortunately, I've known of relationships that were ended because of things that were said in a drunken stupor. The wise man knows that the last thing he needs is a relaxation of his ability to discern and discreetly chose how he speaks and lives. Since alcohol deadens these things, wisdom tells us to steer clear of all abuse of alcohol. Wisdom warns us against drinking any level of alcoholic beverages because it may deaden our heart's ability to hold our tongues from saying truly stupid and foolish things. Such passages as these in Proverbs should warn even the novice that taking up an alcoholic drink can be dangerous indeed - especially if we want to see things clearly and speak those things that honor and glorify God.
A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Proverbs 29:11 Anger is a difficult thing to manage because too often it is upon us before we realize it - and then we face the task of having to hold it back - to keep it from rising to the surface and exploding. We are told in this passage that a fool always loses his temper. That means that he has no control over his spirit. Words like "always" and "never" are not used lightly in the Scriptures - so we see that someone who is always losing their temper - truly is a fool. A very wise man once told me that the reason we become angry (in a sinful way) is because we cannot control something we desperately want to control. Therefore when we become angry in a particular situation, it is because we want to control that situation - and are not content to submit ourselves to God's sovereignty and providence. When we become angry with someone - it is because they are acting in a way that we cannot control. We are not content to submit ourselves to God in serving them - even if they do not act in a way that is consistent with how "WE" would control them if we could. Needless to say, I suddenly understood the core problem with much of my anger. I was a fool who wanted to control everything according to my will - rather than living according to God's will. I was not willing to thank God for all things and in all things. I found His providence annoying - at least to the way that I would have been God if I could be. Much conviction ensued - followed by repentance for thinking I was wiser than God. Time and space does not permit me to relate how often after that I was able, by submission and surrender to God's perfect wisdom and control of my providence, to hold back my temper and anger by the working of His Spirit. What is interesting about this proverb is that we are told that the wise man "holds" his temper back. The word used for the holding back of our temper is the Hebrew word "shabach," which means to soothe or to still something. Here it is used of anger that rises up within us. The actual word for "temper" here is "ruach" which means spirit. We learn to hold back our spirit when it wants to react in anger. We should know from the rest of Scripture that more than one spirit can be expressed through us. When James and John wanted to call down fire on some who rejected Jesus - our Lord responded by rebuking the two brothers. He told them that they did not know what "spirit" they were of when they made that request. Peter, when he told Jesus He could never go to the cross, was called Satan - because that is whose spirit was expressed through Peter. The wise man therefore knows how to hold back the wrong kind of spirit from coming forth from him. When angry it is easy to not soothe and control what kind of spirit comes forth from us - but we still need to soothe our spirits and make sure that what comes forth from us is not the flesh, not the wrong demonicly inspired spirit. We need to have the spirit of God - who is patient, kind, and full of self-control - soothe our anger and keep us from reacting in rage or anger. A wise man knows this - and practices it when he senses anger begin to rise up within him.
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, It will be reckoned a curse to him. Proverbs 27:14 Ah, we come to the proverb written to remind morning people like myself that not everyone else is a morning person. It is also written to remind us that some wake up and become conscious at a much slower rate than others. This also means that they are far more sensitive to sound and obnoxious morning people than we who are the obnoxious morning people realize. Thus, for the sake of their early morning sanity - as well as for the sake of our susceptibility to being hit by a accurately thrown alarm clock - it is wise for us to be gracious to the non-morning person. This proverb really has special meaning to me. I am what is called a "disgusting morning person." That is the person who doesn't just wake up early in the morning - but - who can wake up and within about 30 seconds be in a good mood, whistling as I walk down the hallway to the kitchen. This trait, although a blessing to me, is viewed by the typical non-morning person as - well - as what Proverbs says it is here - a curse. Yes, I've been guilty of awakening the members of my very patient family with my loudness in the morning hours. I've learned that the following actions are not welcome in the morning. Singing in the shower - especially the happy type of songs I tend to sing at that hour of the morning. Awakening people with the statement, "Rise and shine!" Being incredulous that everyone else in the house does not awaken with a spring in their step. Walking with "said springy step" down the hallway (which has wooden floors) with any kind of shoes that make noise. Any whistling whatsoever - before the second coming of Christ. I jest about these things because they've been brought up at least 10 times by those around me. I was once labeled by the sweetest lady I've ever known besides my wife - as the loudest man in the world in the mornings. The wisdom in this proverb is for those of us who are morning people - and for those who wake up first in a household - as well as amongst friends. It has to do with being considerate and courteous. When we act like this early in the morning - we are being rude to those who do not wake up early. Just as we who rise early would not appreciate someone playing loud music and stomping around the house past midnight (for me past about 10:30 p.m.) because it would keep us awake, so our counterparts who are night owls do not appreciate us not just rising with the early bird, but trying to outsing him before the sun rises. It is just a matter of kindness and good manners. The guy we wake up with a loud voice - even if we are speaking a blessing - will not appeciate our "Sally-sunshine" comments. We are to live iwth others according to THEIR need - not our desire. Learning this wisdom will save you from a myriad of problems - not just with non-morning people - but with anyone who is not exactly like you.
He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him. Proverbs 18:13 When I read this proverb, I immediately was reminded of a problem that I have when it comes to listening skills. There are times in a conversation with others that I don't listen as closely as I should. What I do is begin to frame in my mind what I am going to say next - before the other person has finished what they are saying. Another problem I have is that at times I won't wait for someone to finish what they are saying - because I have convinced myself that I know what they are going to say or finish saying. Thus I interrupt and rudely start with what I want to say. Whether this is a common malady among people is not for me to say. What I can say though is that my lack of listening skills has hurt me from time to time exactly like this proverb says. I have either been seen as a fool for speaking before I heard the other person - or - I've made had to be ashamed later of something that I've said when listening more intently would have delivered me from the embarassment of that situaiton. Why would we speak before we hear? Well, since this is one of my own sins, I feel that I am somewhat an authority on the "whys" of it. I speak before I listen because I am filled with pride. I think what I have to say has to be far more important than what the other person is saying at the time. I consider myself smarter and better informed - or I'm just rude and do not value what someone else has to say. The one thing I am sure of is that whatever my reasons, they do not hold water - and certainly do not survive the Philippians 2 test (consider others better than yourself). Lack of character on my part is the overwhelming answer here. I remember one incident that woke me up to my lack of listening skills. It was a time when I was witnessing to students at the University of Memphis. One student invited us into his room to talk. As we shared I was amazed at his ability to concentrate on whatever was being said at the time. At first I equated this to the work of the Holy Spirit in drawing him to Christ. But after three visits I was seeing the same thing again and again. Finally, I couldn't resist asking him why he seemed so interested in what we were saying when we came to visit. His answer blew me away. He said that over the past couple of years he had consciously worked on listening intently to whatever conversation he was a part of so that he could better know what to say - and when to keep his mouth shut. What astounded me about this interview was that he was not a believer - yet his character far better reflected love than mind did when it came to listening to others. Those visits did far more to change me than I think they changed him. I was confronted with my horrible lack of listening skills and how they had brought both shame and foolishness to me. I remember making a commitment to develop the kind of skills this young man had. But what motivated me most was remembering the way that talking to him made me feel. His concentration on what I had to say made me feel important - and yes - loved. It was and is a reminder to me to this very day that listening well to someone is vitally important. It can mean the difference between them feeling loved - or - feeling like they are talking to someone rude and foolish. As someone who longs to be wise, it is my hope to give an answer ONLY after I've heard - not just with my ears, but with understanding and love.
A man who loves wisdom makes his father glad, But he who keeps company with harlots wastes his wealth. Proverbs 29:3 We see again the correlation between wisdom and the relationship between a father and a son. Here we see that the father has taught his son well to avoid the company of harlots. Truly he has a wise father if he has taught his son this. I once talked to a campus minister who worked with young men and asked him what one thing did more to derail the process of discipleship. He did not even pause in answering me. His words reverberated in my soul - and still remain there. He said, "When they get involved with the wrong kind of girl." If we love wisdom, we will know that the wrong relationship with a woman can be devastating to us. The first 9 chapters of Proverbs warns us again and again of this trap. When we love wisdom, we are one who listens to these warnings and heeds them. We avoid those kind of relationships and steer clear of any kind of involvement with a woman that would rob us of our ability to think, to reason, and to make wise decisions. We love seeing things from God's perspective - and seeing things this way helps us to deal with our sexuality without being burned. Our sexuality is a gift from God Himself - and is only to be given to our wives. Ladies, the same is true for you - your sexuality is a gift from your heavenly Father - and is only to be given to your husband. When a man begins to "keep company" with harlots, he is evidencing that he is a fool. One of the reasons loose women hang around a man is so that he will spend his money on them. He will do so in large amounts because the more he spends on this loose woman, the looser she will become with him. The fool may think that she really likes him - or that she truly thinks he is her man - but all that will go away as soon as the money runs out. In the end, he has lost something he will not regain in his sexual purity - but he will also lose large amounts of money in the process. If he is foolish enough to do this when he is married - and follow a harlot into adultery, divorce, and remarriage - he'll even lose more money when it is all over. We've seen this again and again in the world - when rich men marry young women who throw themselves at them. When the woman has stayed long enough to get a lot of his money and wants to move on - she cleans him out in the divorce settlement. The fool does not love wisdom - he loves his immorality. He loves that his money can buy him illicit relationships (note I did not say love, because whatever he has gotten - it isn't love). But the fool and his money are soon departed. If he is wise, he will have learned from the situation - but most don't - as evidenced by their next relationship with another woman after the same thing. The fool never learns. That is why it is such a delight to have a son who loves wisdom - and - who knows the pitfalls of his sexuality when it takes over and turns him into little more than a moron.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 Ours is an offended society today. It seems to be a never-ending cycle in our news of someone who has said something that someone else considers offensive. The result is that the other person responds harshly to what has been said, which in turn stirs up more anger. I was listening to a radio show today and heard the host do his dead-level best to stir up as much anger as possible. Over and over again he spoke harshly against the things he was seeing commenting that our response should be anger and outrage. As I considered this proverb I began to realize that where we are going as a society is not good. It is getting to the point where we are unable to laugh at ourselves. Instead everyone just seems to be getting more and more outraged. That is why, at least for me, it was good to read this particular proverb today. This proverb begins with an assumption. Something has been said that can in some way offend - or at least cause a strong reaction in someone's mind. It speaks of a "gentle answer" which of course precludes that someone has either asked something - or said something that deserves a response. The question then hangs in the air, "How are we going to respond." What is interesting about this is that we're not being asked about content - we're being queried about the spirit of our response. A gentle answer turns away wrath. This is true when we are offended and want to offer a harsh answer to some way we've been hurt or offended. This requires wisdom. It also requires the work of God's Holy Spirit - or at least our dependence upon Him in these moments. We are at least reminded of the reward that we get when we choose to answer gently. This kind of answer turns away wrath. This word "wrath" indicates heat and rage. This is a person who is in the midst of hot displeasure or what the Bible calls, burning anger. This person is either on the edge of losing it - or - has already lost it. But a gentle, gracious answer will turn away this kind of response. How much we need this not just when we are angry and offended - but especially when someone else is this way. There are those times when someone is offended with us - and the situation can either turn more constructive - or it can get completely out of hand. If we respond to someone with harsh words - the situation is gone - but gentleness will often help the situation calm down and become far more profitable. But some don't want to answer gently. They let their anger go - and harsh words begin to flow from their mouths. Some think to answer gently is a sign of weakness. Give 'em what they've given you, or they'll walk all over you. By the way, these are also the people who frequently wind up in shouting matches - and have a long list of people who know better than to try to deal with them unless they have to. Harsh words stir up anger. The word stir is an interesting word. It means to cause something to take off, to ascend, or to go to another level. The word for anger here is "aph" and it actually describes the flaring of the nostrils. It describes someone who is angry. The Hebrews spoke of those who had a long nose which meant they were slow to wrath and anger. Someone with a short nose was someone with a quick temper. When we answer with harsh words, the person hearing us will have their anger elevated - it will go to another level - it will cause them to have a short nose, i.e. a quicker temper. I'm sure you've seen this. Someone begins an argument or voices their frustration. Rather than trying to understand, the second person just reacts - and away we go. I've watched things elevate quickly and have seen two people have their noses get shorter and shorter. Their anger grows - wrath is loosed - and soon a shouting match is the result. Here is the end of the matter. Showing restraint is a good thing! Showing a long fuse on your temper is wise. We are very wise when we choose NOT to escalate an argument with the way we speak our words. When we choose to answer gently and with wisdom, we will find God often diffusing a situation that easily could have wound up as a major blow up between us and our friend or neighbor. So choose gentleness . . . I doubt you will ever regret it!
Like a city that is broken into and without walls Is a man who has no control over his spirit. Proverbs 25:28
Self-control is a fierce fruit - yet one that is absolutely essential for the man who desires to be godly. The one who lacks it is definitely in danger. Without it our defenses our down and the likelihood of having our base desires control our lives is high indeed.
The wall of a city was essential to it defenses. The wall was a barrier that allowed a city to withstand a far greater opponent with only a few warriors. But when the wall was breached, the cities defenses would themselves be breached. Once this happened, it was not difficult to conquer the city itself. The first picture painted for us by the Lord is that of a city that is broken into. The picture is of a city whose walls have been breached - and a break through of the enemy is happening. This is a dangerous moment because once the enemy is aware of such a breach, all of its might will be concentrated on that point to exploit it in the greatest measure. What begins as a small breach, if not dealt with quickly and decisively, will become a huge gaping hole through which the enemy will pour in a matter of days and hours.
This picture is compared to a man who has no control of his spirit. A man's spirit here is his inner fortitude. This is limited in the fallen condition of man, yet is greatly strengthened in salvation and in a continuing relaitonship with the Holy Spirit. A man who has no control over his spirit is unable to deal with his flesh. His selfish ego is ungoverned and unfortunately tells him what he shall do. The list of sins in Galatians 5:17-21 are a good list of what will come forth from this man. To say that this is not a pretty sight is an understatement. More and more the devil, the world, and his own godless ego will dominate his life. What is sad is that this situation grows over time. It may start as just a small fault early in life - yet when not dealt with decisively and completely it will develop into quite the breach in his defenses. A little temper while young can become a horrendous temper when older. A little deceit and lying can grow into a way of deceit as an adult. Oh, how we need to heed the Scriptures that sin must be dealt with viciously - with every effort and amount of strength needing to be focused on killing the flesh and its desires. As Paul said, "If we by the Spirit put to death the desires of the flesh, we will live."
The word used here as "control" is the Hebrew "matsar" which means restraint and control. There are those today who say that we should not seek control or restraint - but allow the Lord to give us victory. Yet the Word says again and again it is both that need to happen. We need to fight passionately against the flesh - while looking to the Lord as the source and strength for the victory. Looking alone will not do - just as striving alone will not either.
The second picture is much more grave - for it is the picture of our lives when a lack of self-control is fully matured in our hearts. The city without walls is a sitting duck, just waiting for the first enemy to come and wreak havoc upon it. Here is the man who has cultivated quite the harvest of self-indulgence. His city is without walls at all. Thus when the enemy attacks - there are no defenses. What a foolish strategy this is - yet that is what too many rely upon in life. They think that there is no battle - no fight - no enemy. All will be well - and all willl go perfectly. This is nothing more than an exercise in self-deception, and it is one that will cost the person who holds is everything.
We need to take Paul's attitude when it comes to how we fight against sin in our lives. "Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:26-27) We do need to take this attitude toward our bodies and our spirit. If there is no control of our spirit - where whatever influence that comes upon us rules - we are doomed. Instead, we need to work daily to build high walls of the Word and godly living that will help us to repel the enemy when he comes. When we do this, we will find the blessing of a spirit that is cooperative with the Holy Spirit and a life that embraces the godliness laid out for us in the Scriptures.
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