He will die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.  Proverbs 5:23

Moral and sexual sanity has as its ultimate goal that we experience the fullness of God's life - and that we stay on a path that will bless and keep us safe.  The father reminds his son of these things as he closes his teaching time with him. 

The sexually and morally insane will not listen to instruction.  They will walk into things that will eventually kill them because they will not listen to those who seek to teach them God's way in life.  I know that some roll their eyes when I reiterate this, but to be sexually promiscuous in our day is to roll the dice as to your health in the future.  Our world is unfortunately a cesspool of sexually transmitted diseases.  The one sure way to be safe in regard to these infections is to abstain from sexual activity before marriage, and then be sexually pure and faithful in marriage.  Anything other than these two choices will place us in aposition of danger when it comes to getting a sexually transmitted disease.  Not listening to this kind of advice and teaching will put us as risk of dying because we lack instruction, or rebel against it.  One of the very real problems that we have in this area is the fact that a large number of parents do not take the time to instruct their children with God's Word in these areas.  But to leave such instruction to the public - or private schools is an abdication of our biblical responsibility as fathers!  Dad, are you really willing to leave the moral instruction of your children in the hands of the world system - that is steadily opposing the morals and principles of Scripture?  It is our responsibility to teach our children the truth and the way of God - and that includes their sexuality and how they interact with the opposite sex.

The second thing the father has to say to his son is that there will also be some who will go astray from the teaching and instruction of the Lord because they are fools.  We read that some will go astray due to the "greatness" of their folly.  It is not that they are in danger of being fools - it is that they are grand fools!  In the West some speak of the Playboy lifestle drawing reference to empire of immorality that has thrived under the leadership of Hugh Hefner and his family.  This man and his daughter lead a company of fools into all kinds of immorality, disease, and destruction because of how they urge men and women to abandon moral sanity and live for their unbridled sexual desires.  The idea here is to cause someone to go astray, to err, to wander, to make a mistake - and to do so under the deception of arguments that are contrary to the Law of God.  That is what the father desires to deliver his son from with all this teaching.  He is presenting the truth to his son about his - and other's sexuality.  He wants him to know that this is a gift from God - but that this gift is to be preserved and guarded until he can give it to his wife for a lifetime.  Anything other than this is a lie - it is THE lie - and it will draw his son away - deceiving him and bringing him into an errant lifestyle, an errant sexuality, and a way of walking that will eventually bind him hand and foot and keep him from following the Lord with all his heart. 

Dear brothers and sisters, this is why we need to instruct our sons and daughters with the truth - with the Word of God.  Because to do anything less - is to leave our children completely unprotected and liable to an attack from the enemy that will devastate them, their marriages, and many generations that will unfortunately follow in their footsteps - just like ours has since the 1960's when free love was advocated.  Unfortunately for us we are learning the hard way that their "free love" was anything but free.  It has cost us for 4-5 generations - paying the same price we were warned it would make us pay by a father who tried to instruct his son thousands of years ago.  May we see these things - may we heed these things - and may God give us grace to teach our current generation the way of moral and sexual sanity.  May we return to the Word - to the Lord - and to a life lived not forour unbridled lusts - but for His glory and an honorable sexuality.

His own iniquities will capture the wicked, And he will be held with the cords of his sin.
Proverbs 5:22

Part of the reason that a father needs to teach his son about moral and sexual sanity is that without it - his son will be trapped and enslaved by his own lusts and by the sexual sin that runs rampant in our world.  That is what today's proverb wants to teach us - that sexual sin by its very nature is something that will capture and enslave us if we allow it in our lives. 

The father tells his son about the one who allows his sexual sin to run loose in his life.  He says that "his own iniquities will capture the wicked."  Let's look at that phrase piece by piece to see what is teaches us.  First we see that we are pointed toward personal responsibility for our actions.  It is not the sin of the harlot that captures the sexually insane.  It is HIS OWN INIQUITIES that will capture and enslave him.  Too often guys want to blame women for their sins.  If the ladies would dress more modestly . . . if the ladies would be more discreet . . . if women wouldn't flirt.  There are so many different things we can try to do to shift the blame away from ourselves - but the fact still remains - that our own iniquities are what are going to capture us.  We cannot blame anyone else for the state of our heart or the choices that we make in life.  The fact is that we will have to give an account for every one of our own actions.  Sexual sin begins with a choice in our hearts and minds - not in the actions of anyone else.  So what if women dress immodestly - don't look!  So what if women are not discreet and flirt with us - ignore them and pay them no attention.  At the root of ANY SIN is a choice by the one who committed it to act in that way.  So the teaching here is simple - DON'T CHOOSE TO SIN.

The second thing we see here is that these iniquities are a trap.  We read that these sins will capture the wicked.  The word for "capture" here is the Hebrew word, "lakad" which means to capture or catch something.  It speaks of seizing something - like a city or an individual.  The nature of sexual sin is the nature of the snare or the trap.  The bait is the woman and her looks or her flattery.  The trap is the sex or the lust itself.  When we choose to look in a sinful way - or to act on lusts within us - the trap snaps shut and we are captured.  In a way the father is trying to get his son to see the trap in sexual sin.  The last thing we see here is that the trap and the bondage is for the wicked.  There is a very clear moral choice that we make when we choose to commit sexual sin.  That is a choice to depart from righteousness and instead walk in the way of the wicked.  The father is emphasizing this so that his son will have a very clear sense of warning to stay away from situations and from acting according to his lusts.

The father closes this verse with a very scary picture.  The wicked man will be held with the cords of his sin.  The picture painted by the dad here is of a man whose hands and feet are tied fast with ropes or cords.  He cannot move.  But the picture here is speaking of sin as the cords and the ropes.  Every time he sins - he simply adds another rope - another cord that ties him down.  They are tightened with each new instance and with each new foray into the kind of sexual behavior that is outside the bounds of Scripture.  The more the young man yields to temptation and sexual immorality, the more he is held fast by new cords and new ropes that bind him ever tighter.  Were it not for the Lord's ability to deliver us from our sin and our choices - we would have no hope at all.  That is why the father employs such graphic pictures which which to warn his son against such immoral behavior.  Such choices have very serious consequences.  And it is these very consequences which the father desires to deliver his son from - delivering him from bondage and from shame.  

For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress And embrace the bosom of a foreigner? Proverbs 5:20

The father in this passage poses an interesting question to his son.  He asks him why should his son be intoxicated with an adulteress' beauty - and why should he embrace the bosom of a foreign woman?  For the person who frequently commits adultery or fornication - this may seem like a strange question.  Their answers may range from a Samsonesque response like, "She looks good to me," to a more common response, "It is between me and her - and it is no one else's business."  I would like to address this passage and these kind of comments with today's proverb of the day.

First off we need to address what the father is saying here.  He is asking a rhetorical question to his son.  This is not asking his son truly why he would do this, rather he is placing the rhetorical question before his son - knowing that he knows, and the son knows the answer to the question.  The answer is that he should not be doing this - it is harmful and damaging to him - and to his future.  Next, I want to address the whole idea of intimacy and sex.

One of the words we use to state someone has had sexual relations with another person is that they have been intimate together.  This term presupposes that sexual activity should involve a far more intimate relationship with another person than normal.  But if we are referring to this passage - we see that all that is happening here is sex.  The father speaks of the "adulteress" - which means the strange woman.  He also refers to her as a foreigner.  Why would we engage in behavior that speaks of intimacy - with someone with whom we are not actually intimate?  The answer is that we want sex - and desire it only to gratify our lusts.  Our hearts honestly are not engaged in any kind of intimacy - and we are turning sexual relations into a selfish, self-centered thing where we get what we want.  That is why there is an embrace with someone with whom we are far from intimate. 

Here is another question to offer at this point.  Why embrace a foreigner - a strange woman whom you do not know?  Are you even sure that she is healthy?  Does she have a sexually transmitted disease you are going to be infected with in this sexual act?  We live in the age of AIDS and also more than 35 other incurable STD's.  Do you not care that you may catch a disease by engaging in your adultery.  There are far too many women and men who have caught STD's simply by not knowing the one with whom they were having sexual relations. 

Let's talk about how this kind of behavior turns us into little more than animals gratifying our sexual appetites.  Why would you embrace the bosom of a foreigner?  Just to get a sexual release?  Are you seeking out sex for sex sake?  This leads to all kinds of addictive behaviors.  It needs to be said that when you are seeking sex from people in relative annonymity, the ways in which you are harmed by such contact are myriad.  Do you really want to pull any kind of intimacy out of sexual intimacy?  Do you want to be driven by a sex drive and the call of your flesh wanting gratification without responsiblity and love? 

But there is an even more compelling argument to what the writer of Proverbs is saying here.  It is found in the next verse.  And that is the FACT that the eyes of God see all things - and that God knows every path that we take.  We may choose to hide ourselves in the midst of our sexual immorality, but know this.  God sees everything that is going on - He knows it.  We will get into this tomorrow in the next verse - but one of the most important reasons why we should NOT become sexually active is that God will see everything that we do.  There is no hiding from Him - and there is no way to get around the fact that we will face problems - and will face judgment and discipline from Him.  But that is a subject we will explore further tomorrow.

Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets?  Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you. Proverbs 5:16-17

Part of sexually sane living is realizing what is at risk when we begin having sex outside the bounds of our marriage.  Here we have a reference to where our seed as men will go when we decide to begin committing adultery. 

The father tells his son not to have his springs dispersed abroad - like streams of water in the streets.  The picture here is how a man's seed should be kept for his wife - and only his wife.  When a man begins committing adultery and resorting to women who do the same, he is risking pregnancy with a woman who is not his wife.  Unfortunately we have myriad examples of this in our current day.  Men, who do not care with whom they have sex, wind up impregnating women who are not their wives.  Thus their seed is like a spring dispersed abroad - like water in the streets.  The result is a society where there are illegitimate children running around - without fathers.  A man who does such things is a man who will have his name and his reputation damaged over time.  Since he does not care for the children properly they tend to go astray and to cause problems.  When people learn that they are the illegitimate children of a man - that man's name suffers greatly - as do the children whom he has sired - but does not rear for God.

God says to let our seed by ours alone - and not something that is shared with strangers.  God intended for a man and a woman to be married, then to share in sexual intercourse.  It was never His intention or will that men should have multiple children with multiple wives.  This creates very serious problems over time.  It causes problems for the family - for the husband and wife - for their children - and for the child who is uncared for by a father later in life.  There is also the problem of what happens to the woman who is used in this way.  Quite often this woman grows very bitter and angry at the man who has used her for sex - but is unwilling to commit to her . . . or to her child. 

God knows the damage that comes from ignoring His Word and the principles upon which it is based.  This is multiplied many times over when a man fathers illegitimately.  Unfortunately most men do not even consider such things - they are looking only for the pleasure of the moment rather than thinking about the long-term affects of their immorality.  That is why it is left to godly fathers to warn their sons of such things.  May we be wise and do such things with our sons and daughters - to hopefully promote a little more sexual sanity in our world.  

"I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation." Proverbs 5:14

This is the final statement made by the one who is lamenting their sexual sin of adultery.  It is filled with a tremendous amount of regret - and yet even in this cry of horror over sin, there is hope for those who will be instructed by it.

First we have a warning to those who think that adultery and sexual sin only inhabit the world outside the church.  This person - David - said that he was almost to the point of utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation.  To think that the devil, the flesh, and the world only are problems for those outside the church is to set yourself up for ruin. 

David experienced these things "IN THE MIDST OF THE ASSEMBLY AND CONGREGATION."  Oh, how we need to take heed from this statement that we are not beyond the reach of sin just because we go to church.  The fact is that we are WELL WITHIN THE REACH OF SIN no matter where we are on earth.  David unfortunately forgot this as he walked upon the roof of his house in Jerusalem.  He forgot that it was the time when kings should be going out to war.  He forgot that even if he was king - he needed to be doing God's bidding rather than his own.  He forgot that being lazy and undisciplined will cost us in the end.  He forgot that being in the wrong place at the wrong time - will lead to wrong actions.

God never promises to us a "place" where we can be safe from all temptation and sin.  There is NO place on earth where this exists.  No matter where you go on earth - there will be temptation and there will be a need to draw near to God and look to Him for protection.  There is only a "person" of safety - and that is the Lord our God.  When we draw near to Him we find deliverance and safety.  When we walk with Him and turn to Him - we are with the Only One Who can deliver us from all our temptations and sins.  If David had remembered this he would have realized that he was in far greater danger at home without the presence of God in his life - than if he were in the midst of a fierce battle with God there within. 

The one thing that grants me hope in reading this verse is the word "almost."  One would think that David would have been utterly ruined by his adultery.  Please do not misunderstand that he was going to have to pay a very heavy price before this was over.  He would lose no less than 4 children in this situation.  He would have 10 concubines raped by his own son in broad daylight in front of all Israel.  His kingdom would be divided and many would lose their lives in battles that would ensue.  The losses would be huge - and yet it was "almost" utter ruin. 

God offers grace and forgiveness even in the most horrible of situations.  David took advantage of this grace and fell upon the mercies of God in the end.  God would forgive him and restore him to the joy of his salvation.  Truly this is one of the most amazing stories of mercy and grace in all the Scriptures.  Yet, David, in offering this glimmer of hope in the midst of his cry of despair still is warning us - pleading with us to remember him.  He is pleading with us to remember the high cost of adultery and unfaithfulness to God's call for purity in our lives.  May we see both the warning and the wonder of this passage.  A warning against adultery and sexual sin - and the wonder of God's grace and forgiveness that can save us even in the worst of sitautions and circumstances.

"I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to my instructors!"   Proverbs 5:13

There are consequences for sexual sin in the lives of those who commit it.  These two verses in Proverbs chapter 5 relate to us what some of these consequences are for the immoral person.  What is fascinating is that these two things are not exactly on the what's what list for sexual immorality - and yet they are both problems that will come for those who practice this kind of lifestyle and choice in life.

It would be wise for us to briefly remember the context of these verses.  These are in the context of a father warning a son not to consort with prostitutes and with women who commit adultery.  The warnings are dire but are in no way hyperbole.  The things being said to this young man are true warnings and they contain true consequences for his actions.  This is why the one who commits adultery later laments that he did not listen to the voice of his teachers - nor pay attention of incline his ear to hear how they were seeking to instruct him.

There is very real ruin and disgrace that attends adultery.  Anyone who has watched a marriage and a family disintegrate under the weight of it knows this to be true.  Yet, even with all the examples that we have before us of these things, men and women still enter into relationships and commit adultery.  The siren call of pleasure drowns out the voice of teachers and instructors who have warned them of the rocky shores upon which they will wreck their lives and the lives of their families.  The only cry they will lift is unfortunately the one that comes from the battered survivors who cry in pain in the midst of their wreckage. 

That is what we have here before us - the cry of the destroyed.  I did not listen to my teachers!  I did not incline my ear to my instructors!  I am ruined due to my sin and my indiscretions!  The cries come from the rocks and from the ruins of lives that have ventured too far into those dangerous waters.  They have ignored the warning of the lighthouse of Scripture that tells them what will happen.  Rebellious and unteachable - their lesson will only be learned the hard way.  They will add their names to the long list of cautionary characters who faced ruin in opposing and thinking they can get past the Scriptures and God's warnings.  All this can seem like too much - but tomorrow we will see a ray of hope in what is said in verse 14.  So if you are on the verge of despair - there is hope - there is mercy - and there is grace!

This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, And says, "I have done no wrong." Proverbs 30:20

One of the worst aspects of sexual sin is the way that is blinds us to the truth.  Here we have a proverb dealing with the women who commits adultery.  Her way is to indulge her sin as one would sit down to a big meal - then wipe her mouth afterwards and boldly state that she has done nothing wrong.  She is completely blind and arrogantly unmoved by her actions and by the Word of God which proclaims them wicked.

We are living in the days of sin that looks just like this.  We have those who live openly in their sin - and argue that such a lifestyle choice is not sin.  God has proclaimed that adultery is sin - and that commandment from the time of Moses still stands this day without having been weakened in the slightest.  Some might protest that Jesus forgave the woman caught in the very act of adultery.  I would agree - but would add that after he gave her the most gracious forgiveness, He also stated to her that she should go her way and SIN NO MORE.  When He gave her grace - it was the grace of God that teaches us NOT TO SIN.  It was not grace that condoned sin.  And just in case some have forgotten the rest of the gospel - He eventually bore her sin to calvary's cross and paid the full measure of God's wrath for it. 

When a society begins to weaken its moral stances on adultery and sexual sin, it is preparing that society for horrible consequences.  When that lax morality reaches the point where adulterous women and men are allowed to embrace their wickedness while openly proclaiming that they've done nothing wrong - such a society is at the breaking point.  It cannot stand much longer because its very foundations are crumbling to the ground. 

Please pray for the United States - praying for revival in the church and awakening among the lost.  We've abandoned our moral underpinnings handed down to us from our forefathers.  We need for God to first revive His church so that we will once again hold fast to biblical morals - regardless of what is currently morally in style in our nation.  Unless this work of revival happens among us first, there will be no awakening among the lost.  We must put our moral house in order - dealing with our sexual sins.  Then we will have the moral authority to speak to our nation - to pray for our nation - and to witness the people of our nation return to the Lord and to the sanity of sexual morality.  May God have mercy on us - and revive and restore us in this most desperate of days.

Take his garment when he becomes surety for a stranger; And for foreigners, hold him in pledge. Proverbs 20:16

It is probably a little shocking to us in the West how often the Word of God talks about the issue of surety.  We are not used to such strong words regarding debt and regarding guaranteeing the debt of others.  But then again this shouldn't be too shocking because as a nation we are a debt loving people.  We have over 14 trillion dollars in government debt and are one of the worst debtor nations in the world.  The people of the United States are not much better having become one of the richest nations in the world - but deceptively - on the basis of debt rather than real wealth. 

It might be wise for us to learn from the Scriptures on this matter because God warns in Isaiah about those who become rich with loans.  This kind of wealth is not wealth at all.  First of all you don't own anything when you "own" it with debt - the bank owns it.  If you want to test this theory try missing payments on your "so-called" wealth - and find out how quickly the bank will eventually come and prove who owns what.  Second, when you become wealthy with debt - you are paying much more for what you are buying than what it is worth.  I remember when my family went to sign for our house loan.  I was horrified when I saw that I was paying close to triple what the house actually cost to buy it with a loan.  That was an eye-opening experience for me. 

The problem with going surety for someone else is that you are in effect giving a guarantee that you will pay their debt if they do not.  To counter this our society has something called collateral, which is something of value that is put up to secure the debt.  When you have collateral you don't have surety - because if the person defaults on their debt, you can take the collateral to pay for what they do not pay.  Good collateral is when you have something close to equal in value to what is borrowed.  Here in this proverb though, we have a situation where someone does not have sufficient collateral for their loan - and therefore all they have is their garment.  God's Word forbids taking a man's "cloak" overnight because for the poor this was all they wrapped themselves in to protect from the cold.  Yet what we see here is that we are told that when a man becomes surety for a stranger - to even take his garment - and when he does this for a foreigner - to hold him in pledge for what he has foolishly guaranteed.  The teaching here is that there has to be a price for foolishness - and especially foolishness with money.  But there is a more sinister possibility here that we need to examine.

Several commentators see this word "stranger" as a sign that this loan was also given because of an involvement with an alluring woman.  If you remember elsewhere in the book of Proverbs, the prostitute is often called a "strange woman."  There is a warning then here given especially to men who deal with money.  That warning is not to be pulled into giving money because we are taken by a woman's alluring appeal.  We all know of the scenes where a woman uses her sexual appeal to get what she wants.  This statement is possibly given to warn men to steel their hearts when an attractive woman comes for an appeal.  We are to loan money on the basis of wisdom - not in response to our glands and egos.

God gives to each of us a provision - and that provision is meant to be used according to the wisdom that He has given in His Word.  We MUST be careful to follow biblical financial principles.  When we vary from them we will face loss and face difficult times because we did not listen to His wisdom or follow it.  We need to realize how often the book of Proverbs offers to us God's take on financial matters - and follow His wisdom to the place of His blessing and protection.  If we do not, we may lose our shirt - or at least our garment.

For jealousy enrages a man, And he will not spare in the day of vengeance. Proverbs 6:34

Adultery is always stupid.  This is never more clearly seen than in the reality of the reaction of the husband who has learned that his wife has committed adultery with another man.  His reaction toward that man is predictable.  He reacts with jealousy - in fact what is written here is that he reacts with enraged jealousy.

Jealousy, which is referred to in this proverb, is the Hebrew word "qinah."  This word means zeal or jealousy.  It describes an intense passion and fervor.  It describes an emotion that is greater than wrath or anger.  Scripture calls this jealousy a rottenness in a man's bones (Prov. 14:30).  It is used to speak of a spirit of jealousy that comes upon a man in Numbers 25:11.  But the frightening description of this word is that it is used of God's zeal which He has toward his own people - and which He has for accomplishing His own will and purpose.  The word is used six different times to speak of the way God's wrath is expressed in judgment.  This is a strong word - and is made even stronger by the fact that it is used in connection with the word, "enrages."  This word is the Hebrew word "hemah" and it means wrath or heat.  It signifies great fury, anger, indignation, poison , or rage.  When put together these two words create quite a terrifying description of the emotions that come over a man who learns of an adulterer seeking to destroy his relationship with his wife. 

This enraged jealousy moves this man to seek the maximum penalty for adultery.  I've watched this in court battles and divorces.  The injured party, when given over to this enraged jealousy, wants to make the other person pay everything possible.  There is a desire for them to truly pay the highest price possible for their indiscretion.  They want a "day of vengeance."  That is why adultery is always stupid.  It always injures someone - and makes for emotions that rival any in life.  The wise man sees this and realizes that no promise of sexual pleasure will ever match the release of rage, anger, and wrath that will come when their deeds become known. 

Men do not despise a thief if he steals To satisfy himself when he is hungry; But when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house. Proverbs 6:30-31

Adultery is always stupid.  In fact adultery here is being called dumber than stealing.  We are offered a comparison between these two sins - and in the end, adultery is considered the worse of the two.

This passage is interesting, because although it does compare stealing and adultery, it does not condone either.  The comparison is to how the theif is viewed vs. the view of the adulterer.  The thief is actually shown compassion, especially if his stealing is due to being hungry.  The passage tells us that a thief is not despised if he steals to satisfy his own hunger.  We all understand hunger and the drive to satisfy our appetite when we have not eaten in a while.  The thing about this proverb though is that after saying this - we are brought back to justice.  If caught though, the thief will have to repay sevenfold for what he has stolen.  This is the case even if the thief has to given everything in his house to pay that debt.  There is mercy toward his situation - but not mercy toward the actions he took to remedy it. 

But the adulterer is by default NOT given the same grace.  We all probably know lust as well - but to actually go out and take another man's wife to satisfy it is wickedness.  The adultery is also guilty of stealing - stealing the sanctity of another man's marriage.  He is stealing another man's wife - taking her affections - and taking from him the vows that were made to him in the sight of God.  This is not viewed with a gracious attitude here.  Whereas a thief is not despised for his actions to alleviate his hunger - the adultery IS despised for taking another man's wife.  If justice falls on the hungry man for his stolen food, how much more will God's justice fall on the adultery for stealing the sacredness of marriage and a home?  There is going to be a cost - and that cost is high. 

Ask David and Bathsheba what that cost involves.  They will tell you that the cost far outweighs the pleasure of the moment.  Ask David's family who also paid a high price for the attitude toward marriage and sexuality that was unfortunately passed in that family?  Ask Samson if it was worthy his two eyes to commit sexual sin and satisfy his lusts in ungodly ways?  Ask the people of Sodom and Gomorrah whether it was worth it to despise God's plan for marriage and go their own way?  These are all examples of those who had to pay - and some pay with the very substance of their house.  Adultery costs - and to think that we can get around that cost is ignorant.  That is why dear saints, "Adultery is always stupid."