A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends. Proverbs 16:28

There are those who through their falsehood and gossip cause great harm to the relationships of others. This can be the case even with intimate friends. The first action of this man is to spread strife. The way that this man does this is through lies and slanderous falsehoods. He starts by lying to one friend of the other about the actions of their "so-called" friend. Those who will not listen to gossip will shut down this kind of ruiniation of another.

The slanderer is just as dangerous - but his falsehood and lies have a far more sinister goal in mind. He is not content to just spread strife and discord. Look at the proverb for today and not that the one filled with slander - does so not just to cause arguments - but also to separate a man from his friend. He has a target in view - and that target is a friendship of which he is very jealous. Why else would he desire to see this relationship destroyed.

Once someone can penetrate your mind with slanderous gossip - it is hard to remedy the situation. The desire is to serarate a man from his friend - so that the one who sabatoged this relationship can see it destroyed. That way he can have a better one - or at least keep the two former friends from making his relationships look weak and feeble. There are some who just are not happy unless they are making others miserable.

Be careful around such perverse, small-hearted people. They are filled with bitterness and hatred because they usually want what you have with a friend - but cannot get it because of their ungodly ways and how they are unable to maintain a relationship due to their own selfishness. Avoid these people like you would avoid the plague!

He who conceals hatred has lying lips, And he who spreads slander is a fool.  Proverbs 10:18

One might think on the first reading of this proverb that God is encouraging those who have hatred to let their mouths voice it openly.  But you need to remember that many of the proverbs start with a basic statement - and then that statement is explained with an added comment that further defines it.  That is the way to understand the proverbs.  If we do not read them this way - it is easy to grab a partial proverb and make it say something it was never meant to say.

What we have here is a proverb about hidden hatred later escaping through slander.  The first part of this proverb speaks of one who is concealing their hatred by saying things they do not believe.  An example of this is someone who says nice things or supportive things of someone when they are around that person.  Inwardly they despise this person - but they do not allow their hatred to be expressed when around them.  But do not be deceived by their lying lips - because deep within them they are churning with a hatred that will surface in time.

Their hatred surfaces in what is said in the second part of this proverb.  They begin to spread slander.  They will not speak openly about their hatred of a person, a viewpoint, a decision, etc.  But later they will begin a slander campaign to express their hatred.  Put very plainly - they won't tell someone openly they hate them - but in private and with others they will let their hatred fly by slandering them often. 

The one who does this is a fool.  The Scriptures says that it is better to openly rebuke someone than to secretly slander them.  If there is a biblical issue that needs to be addressed, then address it privately with the person.  If there is a view that needs to be opposed - then oppose it where a debate of ideas can be had.  If there is a decision that is wrong - then openly state that it is wrong.  To allow a hatred to build up in our hearts is not just foolish - it is dangerous.  In time it will surface in slanderous gossip.  We WILL eventually have our hatred come out - and when it does - it will not be pretty. 

You may not like someone who openly confronts you - who rebukes and questions a view you have taken - or who disagrees with you publically.  But one thing is for sure.  You have far more respect for someone who does this, then for someone who speaks open words of support - but follows them up with slanderous gossip when you are no longer around.  Such a man is a fool - and his actions will come back to roost eventually.  Speak the truth in love - and if you disagree with someone and do not feel God wants you to speak out - then love them by interceding for them.  Hatred, gossip, and slander has NEVER helped any situation where it was used.  It has only made for fools and for deep hurt by those who have been injured by it.