Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro
 
By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone. Proverbs 25:15

Today's proverb has to do with the power of persuasion - especially when the one who is to be persuaded is someone in authority, like a ruler or a king. How is it that we persuade someone so high in office? The answer might shock you, because the Lord says that it is not the forceful man that will win the day. Patience and gentleness have much greater power to persuade than a blustery, arrogant person.

Forbearance is what is needed, according to our proverb. The Hebrew word here is "orek" and it means something long or lengthy. It describes physical measurements. The word used to describe the length of Noah's ark as well as to describe things like large land measurements. But what is measured as long in this passage is the patience and willingness to stick with one's cause before someone in authority. The idea is that a person forbears the fact that the ruler has a different opinion - and seeks to bring the powers of persuasion to bear on him over time. Most rulers are not given to quick swings in opinion - and when they do - it has the danger of not lasing long. The influence of the wise man is applied to a decision over a long period of time. That is one reason he is effective in getting the ruler to think and reason as he does. William Wilberforce spent his entire lifetime forbearing with those who differed with him on the issue of slavery. Yet he held to his views and continued to persuade men by holding them no matter what the outcome of votes within Parliment. In the end, his willingness to remain in the fight and stay there for years won the day for him and his cause.

There is a second tool that a wise man uses in persuading a ruler. We are instructed that a soft or gentle tongue can break a bone. What a powerful picture that is for us - and yet how contrary to the way that many of us are wired to think. It is not boisterousness and bravado that win the day with the ruler. It is the wise, soft spoken and gentle man who can eventually persuade the king on a matter. Consider Daniel for a moment on this matter. He was a very wise man who had tremendous influence on the king. Yet we do not have a single passage where Daniel speaks impassioned words to the king. Joseph was the same way. He was a man of controlled passions when it came to his dealings with Pharaoh. This kind of strength under control allies great power. The king and the Pharaoh came to have great confidence in these godly men. Their words - though gentle in their presentation - were powerful and could accomplish much.

Of those who led with forbearance and gentle words, Jesus stands more significant among all. He was patient with His disciples - and submitted Himself to God and even to others when He Himself had once sat at the right hand of God Himself. He spoke in ways that made men marvel - and commanded even the elements to submit to His will. When standing before a corrupt pseudo-court of man - Jesus was able to be quiet - even amazing His captors with His behavior. And when it came to raw displays of power - His simple words, "I am He," in the garden caused a wicked mob to stagger backwards and fall to the ground on their backs. Gentleness bearing great power - Jesus was the epitome of it in life.

Too many in our day think that to be influential you have to be a jerk. They see power as something wielded with an iron fist. You don't take anything from anybody - even someone in a position of authority. Such behavior may get you a temporary rung higher on the corporate ladder, but it will NOT bode well for you long into the future. The "gentle-tongued" man does not make the kind of enemies that the man with the macho attitude. He does not leave a trail of crushed egos and smashed careers along the way. The man who triumphs with power and a lack of gentleness will have many who will cheer for his fall. The gentle man learns to break a bone with the gentle and controlled way that he quietly and consistently speaks for his principles. Thus he comes to the point of persuasioin without all the baggage of his blustery counterparts.

Learn to influence others wisely. Learn to stand in positions of principle steadfastly. Learn to persuade others with soft, gentle, bone-crushing power. The power you access in the process will not be that of the fleshly elite of this world, whose kingdoms are passing away. The power you access will be that of the Son of God - Who remained silent as a lamb before His shearers - and yet who crushed death and hell under the weight of His godly obedience to His Father. There, dear saints, is power!

 
 
The glory of young men is their strength, And the honor of old men is their gray hair.   Proverbs 20:29
 
Today's proverb gives us some valued information about both young men and old men.  This is not a proverb that compares them against each other.  It gives us the best view of what is wonderful about them - and what they should strive for in their youthful zeal - as well as their older, wiser days.  
 
There are some great words used here to describe the younger man and his pursuit in the things of God - and in life in general.  Note that God's wisdom tells us there is a "glory of young men."  When you are younger in years you seek after the glory of something.  This is not meant to be a negative statement - as if the younger man is usurping the glory of God.  They just have an appetite for glory.  The best way to describe this is that they yearn for rewards in life.  If you place a goal with a reward that grants glory for something - young men will pursue it with great passion.  These are the years when trophies, plaques, awards, and bonuses mean the most.  Put a goal in front of these young men - and they will be greatly motivated to reach it.  This is why the movement to make everyone equal at a young age is not good for our children.  The whole, "we don't keep score" and "everyone is a winner" is not a realistic view of life.  Granted we don't want competition to become an all-consuming desire to where morals and character don't seem to matter any longer - but the fact of life is that there is going to be competition.  There are going to be winners and losers chosen in almost every area of life.  Solomon warns that this can become vanity - when competition becomes the only thing that matters - but at the same time God's Word exhorts us to run the race "so as to win."  Only one person gets the prize (or one team) but a wise parent encourages his children to excell at what they do - even if all they have to measure their success is their own previous performance.  
 
We read here that the young man's glory is his strength.  Young men want to be strong in some way.  Some choose physical strength - others mental prowess.  Whatever way they choose, they love being seen as strong in something.  There is a wisdom that takes this desire and channels it in ways that are very constructive.  Encourage your young men to find something they enjoy - or an area in which they can excell.  Put goals and lofty aspirations before them in this - and then encourage the daylights out of them as they strive toward it.  Let me give you a small example of this.  Too often we do not challenge our young men - and this is a detriment that cripples them later in life.  We are so given to the fear that they will have their self-image damaged - that we do not see that it already is because as young men they are not being challenged to do great things.  One summer I took the high school guys I work with and challenged them to read the New Testament once a month - and memorize 8-10 verses a week.  They were to do this in June, July, and August.  Some might be concerned that I was "setting them up to fail" and that their poor little self worth would be damaged as a result.  But that was not the case.  They rose to the task with youthful vigor and strength!  They loved it - and as a result were blown away at what God did in their hearts as they strove for something challenging.  They each felt their strength as they were challenged to do something that was a huge challenge.  They would come in week by week having met the challenge - or needing to step up and do what needed to be done to meet it.  These young men gloried in the strength to do something hard for God.  
 
What about old men?  What is it that motivates and moves them.  Note first that the word glory is removed and the word honor is inserted.  Older men desire honor - but once again let me state that they do not desire God's honor in an ungodly way.  Their desire is for others to realize that they have lived a godly, honorable life - and due to this should be respected and honored for their years of labor and wisdom.  The proverb says that older men are honored due to their grey hair.  Grey hair is achieved by . . . getting older  It means that you've lived for a while.  We joke that grey hair comes because of walking through the difficulties and challenges of life.  That may not be as much of a joke as we think.  Grey hair means you are no longer a young man plowing through life's difficulties.  It means you've walked through them - and honestly - know ways that are wiser and better.  Grey hair comes with battle scars and with proven character in the difficult trials that life throws your way.  Grey hair means you've been around for a while - you've been knocked down a lot - but it also means that you've gotten back up and continued in the way a little better and a little wiser.  There is a phrase older men know - you learn to work smarter, not just harder.  This comes from wisdom - and it is a reason to be honored.  Honor comes when people listen to you.  They listen, not because you love to talk and because you have a thousand stories you repeat again and again.  They listen because you are wise and becasue you truly have something to say.   They listen because you not only know the road - but you know the good short-cuts.  You know the the short-cuts that work - and those that will result in disasters.  You also know that some things are only learned over time - and that there are no short-cuts to them.  They also listen because you've walked with God for years - have survived the pitfalls and ambushes of life - and have come out a godly man.  
 
There is a lack of wisdom that unwisely pits younger men against older men.  It devalues one or the other while trying to make the case that one is more important than the other.  The truth - and wisdom tells us that both are needed.  The military needs strong young men who can fight - yet it also relies on older, seasoned men to strategize the best ways to fight and defend the land.  Business needs young, strong men who can work hard and cover a lot of things - yet it also relies on older, wiser men to navigate the dangerous paths that can often destroy a business.  Both are needed - if they understand their roles and don't succumb to jealousy.  Blessed is the business, organization, and nation who grasps this - who values the strength of young men and the grey hair of older ones.  They will receive the best of both ends of the age spectrum - and will prepare the next generation of older men to do the same.  The fact is this - the younger men of today are becoming the older men of tomorrow.  Oh that we will learn to value the contributions of both - and will find ourselves continuously training the next group of older men who will lead and appreciate the younger.  
 
 
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32

It is interesting that the wisdom of God puts greater value on persistant patience, longsuffering, and goodness than on sheer physical strength. Self-control was something that was more valued than military heroism. Who truly is the strong man? Is he the guy who can flex his muscles and take up a sword and lead an army? Or could it be the one who can control his own passions and prevent a battle from ever needing to take place?

Could it be that part of the downfall of Goliath was the anger with which he carried out his attack on David? Could it be that in running to the battle line, he did not take care to fight not just with strength, but with wisdom? Could it be that Egypt's anger and rage led them to ride foolishly into the midst of the Red Sea - when everything should have told them to halt their attack? So often the ability to rule our spirit is one of the most difficult things we have to do in life. To halt our tongue from speaking in anger - to refrain from entering the fray when our feelings are hurt - to stop a fight before it begins - all these are not easy things to do - and require a depth and strength of character that is often lacking in men and women.

Samson was indeed a strong, mighty man - physically. But he did not "rule his spirit" at all when it came to anger - and other more dangerous passions. In the end - though he did many mighty acts of valor - he was overcome by the wiles of a woman who knew his lack of control over his spirit. Great fighters know how to get their opponents angry - for then they will no longer be controlled by their mind - but by their rage. It is in such moments that the majority of them make a fatal mistake - and the more talented - more controlled boxer - finds his opening and knocks out his opponent with little more than a blow or two.

We too need to be men who not just physically are strong - but are spiritually and morally strong as well. But the truly wise among us know that such a feat of strength is beyond our flesh. It is only Christ Who truly mastered sin and took it to the grave with Him. He rose victorious over it - and granted to us, through His resurrection, the power to win this illusive victory. It is His power that will allow us to master the most difficult foe of all - that of mastery of our own spirit. Then, dear brothers and sisters, is when we are truly mighty - when we are truly strong - and when we are truly a champion. Just know that the only way this can happen is by coming to know and walk with the ONLY Champion - Jesus Christ!