A gracious woman attains honor, And ruthless men attain riches. Proverbs 11:16 Two types of people are contrasted here. There is the gracious woman and the ruthless man. They are viewed from what they attain in life. The word "attain" is important here for it refers to what a person grasps or holds. The gracious woman seeks for honor, while the ruthless man is seeking riches. The rich man is called "ruthless." This is the Hebrew word "ariys" which means to be ruthless, strong, and violent. The word usually refers to a ruler, kind, or master who behaves ruthlessly toward those under him like a tyrant. This person is insolent, proud, haughty, and violent. As a result the general attitude toward him by those around him is fear. This ruthless man does not care about true honor or respect. He rules by fear, intimidation, and an overpowering hand and demeanor. What he wants is not repect - but riches. And what we read here is that he grabs all he can get - and attains those riches. Anyone who follows politics and those who wield power in the financial world knows that there are a myriad of men who get their riches by less than favorable means. They dominate others and often do dispicable things. In the process they get a lot of money. What is not told often enough is that even though they have the money - they do not have peace, joy - and often cannot sleep because their lack of character costs them dearly. They wind up as the typical rich, lonely, miserable old man - whose only friends are the sycophantic ones who stay only to feed on the corpses of his corporations and bank accounts. There is little love lost or tears shed when he dies. The gracious woman is seen in stark contrast to this rich, ruthless man. One of the best pictures of this gracious woman is Ruth. She faced an uphill battle her entire life. When her husband died, she was left with nothing - except a sister-in-law who was a widow too - and a mother-in-law whose life was shattered. Ruth chose to be gracious every step of the way. Her daily existence in Israel, when they moved back, was spent gleaning in fields that were not hers living on the kindness of others. In the midst of all this she was the most gracious of women - not complaining of her circumstances or of the back-breaking work she endured for an entire harvest. She and her mother-in-law endured a very meager existance that entire Fall - yet no griping was heard from Ruth. She was the picture of a gracious, godly, quiet-spirited woman. She worked hard and was grateful for everything she received. In the end, Ruth was seen as a woman of honor. Even though she was a foreigner and a Gentile, she was seen in the community as a highly honorable woman. She followed customs that were not her own - being obedient to a mother-in-law in the process. Her graciousness was honored in the end though. She was given a new husband - a godly, wealthy, wonderful man named Boaz. Although starting at what had to be the very bottom of society in Israel - God gave her honor in two ways. There was her new husband Boaz - who was a gift from God. There was even a greater honor - and that was her great grandson. His name . . . David. Honor comes to a gracious woman - and that lasts much longer than the riches of the ruthless man. If you do not believe that - just ask Nabal, the rich farmer or the rich man in the gospels. Their ruthlessness gained them great riches - for a short season - followed by an eternity in punishment and pain.
"She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Proverbs 31:17
The godly woman is not the quintessential weak or frail woman. According to God she is strong and does what is necessary to have physical strength in her arms. Please do not misunderstand me to be saying that a godly woman is a fitness freak. She isnrather a woman who knows that it is wise to be able to maintain her physical strength for the sake of her family, for the work God would have her do, and for even her own well-being.
As a guy who is getting older I am realizing the wisdom in taking better care of my physical well being. You are much less effective in life when your health begins to fail. This is worse when your health fails due to your own lack of wisdom and bad eating and exercise habits. The wise woman knows this and takes care of herself.
The wise woman makes herself and her arms strong for a good reason. At this point I am going to meddle a little for the sake of godliness for the ladies who read this. When you read this passage you see why this godly woman seeks to be physically fit and strong. She does it to be able to serve her Lord and her family. She is not getting fit in order to be hot and look good in a bikini. She is not doing it so that she can dress in tight clothes so she will have men compliment her on her figure and so women can tell her how skinny she is getting. She does it for the glory of God, not for her own glory.
Ladies, the Word encourages you to be wise, to remain strong, and to stay healthy. It does so not so that you can serve the American cult of self-centered "hotness." he encourages this so that you can be an effective godly woman who loves her husband and who loves her children. In this way you will receive the only praise God desires for you to pursue - the praise of God Himself and the praise of your husband and children as they see in you that servant heart that brings glory to God and good to your family, church, and friends in Jesus name.
She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:13-16The godly woman as represented here in Proverbs 31 is a lady who enjoys working with her hands, with her mind, and with her physical strength in order to bless her household. In verse 13 we see where she enjoys working with her hands. She is skilled enough to discover the kind of wool and flax that will make good clothing for her family - and even possibly items that she could sell to others. When she discovers these things, she then delights in doing busy work - working hard with her hands as she makes things for others. This evidences both a willingness to work hard - and a willingness to make things for others rather than focus all her time upon herself. This she does "willingly" which is what the word "delight" means in this passage. It speaks of her as being a worker who does what she does not because of complusion or by being forced - but simply because she desires to do these things. This blessed lady also delights in providing meals for her loved ones. These meals are not just the normal fare of everyday life - although I am sure that these are included in what she does for her family. Verses 14 reveals that she delights in "bringing her food from afar" like a merchant would do so. This paints a picture for us of how she delights to cook and provide meals for her family. She works hard at making things more exciting and varied for her husband and children. She is not focused on just the "ready-made" stuff that she can pick up in a box (although that was not the case in this day) - but she brings her food from even far off for the benefit of those she loves. Verse 15 shows us that she uses her head as she manages a household not just with her family, but also her servants. She rises before dawn to make sure that all those in her care are blessed. This means not just her children, but even her servants. She is there to give sustenance to her family - but also to her maidens who work for her in the household. Verse 16 shows us that this lady is also financially savvy. Here we see that she takes the time to consider a field in which she desires to plant a vineyard. Here she is making decisions that involve knowledge of agriculture and of real estate. What land would be best for the purpose of planting, tending, and therefore profiting from a vineyard. As she does this, we can see that from the earnings that she has already gained from previous wise financial decisions, she purchases land for a new venture. She is wanting to continue to prosper her family and is working toward that end. She is doing this with money "she" has earned - thus we see that her husband trusts her fully with financial means - and however she started these ventures - now she has earned sufficiently enough to pursue them solely on the basis of money she has earned doing other things. What we come away with in all these verses about the godly woman is that she is not at all one-dimensional. Some would teach Proverbs 31 as if a godly woman is all about "God-stuff" like Bible study, prayer, etc. But such a division in an understanding of godliness and especially the godliness of this godly woman is a false dichotomy. Her life is more than just "church" activity. She is wise in every respect - religiously, financially, managerially, and even with a wonderful business sense. Thus we see that godliness covers far more than just the usual categorizations. This lady is wise in every respect. But then again maybe that is why she is praised so highly - because her benefit to the family covers a multitude of blessings that come to them from her.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12 The book of Proverbs speaks to us of the virtuous woman - whom we call the Proverbs 31 woman. Here we learn how her husband feels about her. We see that his heart trusts her. What a wonderful statement. It is one thing to say that we think we can trust someone - but quite another to say that our heart trusts in them. That is saying that to the very core of our being we know that we can trust this person. The heart was considered the very core of the man in Jewish thought. Therefore to say that the heart of her husband trusts her is to say that at the very center and base of this man's inner core he knows that he can have a reliance on his wife to support and to be there for him. Even more importantly he knows that her heart belongs to the Lord - so that he can absolutely trust her to do good and to seek the very best for all in the family. The man who has such a godly woman who seeks the best for her husband and her family will also be blessed with the prosperity of having no lack of gain from her efforts for them. This is a lady who has the very best interests for her family - God's interests if you will allow me to insert what is being inferred by this passage. The gain here is not just riches - although this particular lady is quite the businesswoman for her family. The gain involves some things - but more importantly it involves goods, her service, and the spirit that is in the home because of her ministry and her heart. Do not discount this aspect of bringing gain to a family. There are blessings and benefits that the spirit of a home give to a husband and children that cannot be matched by any amount of money. In a day when so many do not have peace - and too many children go to homes where there is far more turmoil than rest - we do not see like we used to the vaule of a woman who focuses the major part of her life on her husband and family. Feminist groups denigrate such women, yet to those men who have such a godly lady in their midst - they are worth gold, jewels, and riches to them. The godly woman does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. The word for good used here is "tob" which means to be happy, to be pleased, to be loved, favored - and is also used to speak of doing well and right. Oh, what blessings there are for a godly woman who does her husband and family good. They know the joy of having a godly mom and wife - which means that she works to make a happy home - a loved home - a home which is pleasing to God - a favored home. She lives her live to make sure that what her family sees her doing is what is well and right in the eyes of God. The word used for evil here is the classic biblical word, "ra" which speaks of misery, injury, calamity, evil, and distress. This lady shuns such things for her family's sake. She works to bring God's good to them and to make sure that the work of the enemy s fought at every turn. As a result she is a guard and protector for her loved ones. This bent in her is why her husband's heart knows that only what is best will happen in their home due to her efforts. He trusts her - and also considers her the greatest of blessings to him and to their family. And since her heart is heavily bent toward not just good things (by whoever decides to define the good) but good as defined by God - there is no hidden cost that will come with the ways that she works to bless her family. If you have such a woman in your home and life - consider yourself to be supremely blessed. Pray that your daughters will strive to be such a woman - and that God will bless your sons with one of these women as a wife. To have such a lady at the core of a home-life is a blessing given by God - and one that is only bested by salvation itself.
A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike; He who would restrain her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand. Proverbs 27:15-16 Here is a proverb concerning contentious women and the problems that come from them. First we read that the contetious woman is compared to a constant dripping on a day of steady rain. Thus we see that such a thing is a constant annoyance. This is someone who will bother us greatly. That drip, drip, drip that we hear will wear on us over time and drive us crazy. Such is the contentious woman. But understanding the word "contentious" is very important for us to grasp what Solomon is saying. The "contentious" woman is the woman who is involved with strife and dissension. This is the Hebrew word, "madon" which refers to a quarrel or dispute that gets out of hand quickly. Once started, it cannot be stopped. These are the kind of disputes that create barriers between people. According to Psalm 80:6 an evil heart is the source of these contentions and bitter arguments. These things come from someone with a hot temper and are very difficult to contain. Thus we see that the "contentious woman" is not someone who disagrees with us, but rather someone who vehemently disagrees and who takes that disagreement to the level of fighting and quarreling. This fighting is not a normal disagreement, but becomes something that can separate people for long periods of time as bitterness and resentment seethe because of the fighting. Too often I have heard of this proverb used to disrespect a woman who respectfully disagrees with her husband. The contentious woman is anything BUT respectful - she is fiesty and cantankerous. She is itching for a fight - and when given the slightest reason to enter one - does so with both feet firmly set in the middle of it. It is not sinful for a woman to disagree with someone - even her husband or a person in authority. That is not what this proverb is about. It is about a woman who is ready to fight, and quarrel, and do so disgustingly. The next verse says that trying to restrain such a woman and her venom is like trying to restrain wind or grasp oil and hold it. It is impossible to do so, because such things cannot be done. Thus, when we come upon such a woman, we should avoid her and keep ourselves clear from her path. She is a dangerous woman - whose actions will prove very destructive in the end. Rather than trying to restrain and hold her back, we need to withdraw from her and avoid her at all costs. What we should remember as we read this is that God places great value on a woman who has a quiet and gentle spirit. This is what God desires - so when a woman goes the opposite direction, it is not only against what He wants, but it places an example before other women that is not only lacking, but it encourages them to behavior that is completely outside of what God desires in a Godly lady. May the Lord give us grace to see such godly women raised up in our fellowships - women whose testimony only makes the gospel of Jesus Christ more attractive and beautiful - like He has made them.
It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9
There are days when I would rather not have this blog due to the nature of the subject matter present. Today is one of those days. This is only because I would rather spend a thousand days dealing with men and their biblical responsibilities and their sin, than spend one having to point out sin to ladies. Too often in our perverted world women are bashed on these matters with caracitures that are unflattering at best, and just plain mean at other times. So ladies, today I will try to hug as closely to the text as possible - only using biblical examples as I seek to explain this passage.
This proverb begins with a funny picture. We have a man sitting on the corner of his roof. He has decided that this is the better place for him to live. That seems very strange to us. Considering the exposure to the elements - and the sheer uncomfortable nature of living on just the corner of your roof - we are bewildered at this man's choice. What could be so bad that he would make such a choice? According to this proverb, it is the prospect of sharing his house with a contentious woman.
What is a "contentious" woman? The Hebrew word used here is "madon" and it refers to someone who is filled with strife and dissension. It speaks in Proverbs 17:14 of a quarrel or dispute that cannot be stopped once it starts - or in Proverbs 18:19 of arguments and contentiousness that create barriers between people. It is usually associated with an evil heart and with a bad temper. Other sins associated with this sin of contention are lying, perversity, and hatred. These are pretty bad sins - especially when you consider that this is someone with whom you live on a regular basis in life. The relationship one has with their wife should be the closest in life - but when a wife is acting this way - it makes life miserable.
This lady is miserable herself - and honestly - is making everyone else around her equally miserable. Rather than be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit (as is counselled by Scripture) she is filled with anger, resentment, hatred, and because of these things - a contentious spirit that is ready at a moment's notice to enter into strife and voice her continual dissent. No wonder this guy is sitting on the corner of his rooftop - it is the only place he may be able to get a little peace and quiet.
Ladies, if you would indulge me for just a brief few moments, God desires you to be your husband's helper. This is the same term that is used to describe the Holy Spirit. You are called to come alongside your husband and cheer him on - calling him to be the man God wants him to be - and cheering loudly for him whenever he shows the slightest inkling toward that call. Let me let you ladies in on a secret. (All men need to stop reading at this point - and if you do - please do not bring up a vote to have my man-card revoked).
Ladies, your words are so very impotant to your husband. You may think he doesn't listen - but he hears every word you say. Whether he chooses to admit it or not - your words are more important to him than any other that are spoken during his day. When you cut him down and constantly criticize him - it does more damage than a thousand comments made by anyone else. The reason this guy is living on the corner of his rooftop - is because he is hurting so bad that any indignity or discomfort would be better for him. He hurts because rather than being encouraged by his wife - he is torn down. That is something that honestly cannot be fixed by anything other than you changing how you speak to him. Yes, I understand that often men are lazy and not exactly taking up the mantle to be God's man. Yes, I understand that you get frustrated waiting for him to be that man. Yes, I also understand that it is not fair for him to dump the spiritual leadership of your home on you. BUT . . . being contentious will not help matters at all. Men will react to this by retreating further from their God-given task. If you would praise him and encourage him when you see the slightest advance, you might be surprised at what begins to happen. Who knows, you might even see him pack up his stuff from the corner of the roof (or man-cave, or garage, or shop, or wherever he hides) and emotionally and spiritually move back into the home. All I know is that wisdom tells me that we get more flies with honey than with vinegar. That means a sweet and gentle spirit will yield far more from your man than being contentious and filled with strife.
She is now in the streets, now in the squares, And lurks by every corner. Proverbs 7:12
In chapter 7 of Proverbs we are examining the adulterous woman. As we do this we are learning to contrast her actions and lifestyle with what the Scriptures call a godly woman to be. This particular verse may wind up being controversial in what it teaches us. But that is only because we don't teach what the Scriptures say to the women in the church any longer due to the effect of the doctrines of the women's liberation movement. Now that I've opened the proverbial can of worms - let's take a look at today's verse in Proverbs.
One of the descriptions of the adulteress is that she is not at home, but instead is all over town. She's in the streets, the squares - and then we read that she "lurks" by every corner. First let's deal with the fact that she is all over town. The Scriptures teach us that a godly woman is a "worker at home." In Titus 2 we read that the older women should be teaching the younger women to love their hustands, love their children, to be sensible, pure, kind, and workers at home. The church has moved away from such teaching because the women's lib movement has made enough noise to make such teaching uncomfortable in today's society. We are considered "out of touch" if we teach such things. We are told that we should realize that a woman can do anything a man can do - and that she should be liberated from her enslavement to the dungeon of the home.
What I find fascinating is that Paul begins this section of his letter to Titus by saying that he is to "speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine." This is not a matter of cultural preference - but a matter of sound doctrine. When we do not teach these things in the church - in the way specificed by Paul (i.e. the older woman teaching the younger women) the end will be that the Word of God will be dishonored. The other thing I find fascinating is that for all the so-called liberating that has been done for women - they are still finding that they desire husbands and children. They still find the greatest satisfaction (as well as the greatest challenge) in loving a husband and loving their children. Where this is happening we are also finding that there is the greatest stability provided for children and society to flourish.
The adulteress is not for this lifestyle of staying at home - or at least seeing her life's work there with her husband and her children. The Hebrew here is so descriptive. With short phrases we read that she is now in the streets - then now in the squares - and as she lives this jet-setting life all over town - she tends to lurk by the corners. What is being said is that she is not content being in the home. She wants her own life and her own way. Hopefully we are learning from Scripture that the worst thing for us is to constantly "get our way." This woman does not want the home-based life - the family-based life. She wants to be out and about - doing and being everywhere. She's in the streets and in the squares - and we should note that it seems that nothing of any real use is being accomplished. She's just hanging out - out of the home. This is NOT good for a woman - or - for a man for that matter.
Now before someone begins to protest that I'm suggesting that a woman be a slave to her house - I want to offer a few comments here on the godly woman. Proverbs 31 presents to us the godly woman. When you read that passage you come away with anything BUT a woman enslaved to her home. She is out and about at times - but not without a purpose. She is out and about doing things for her family. She is out and about serving her home. You would probably see her in the streets and squares as well - but not just "lurking" about by every corner. She is accomplishing things - buying and selling - getting things for her husband and her children. She is overseeing servants who work with her to make her house into a home. The problem is not being out of the house - it is being out of the house for no real apparent reason.
We've got far too much "hanging out" going on in our society. Too often our men, women, and children are living their lives to "hang out" rather than to accomplish something. Ever notice that those who are "hanging out" tend to get into far more trouble than those who have a purpose and are "getting out" to accomplish that purpose?
This is the fundamental problem with the adulteress. She is "lurking out" rather than "living out." Let me explain. When we "lurk out," we are wasting our time with no real purpose in view. Actually those who "hang out" and "lurk out" are saying that they are either looking for something to do - or - they don't have anything to do. Because this is their situation, they are going somewhere to "hang out." Believe me that when this is your normal mode of life - you will eventually get into trouble. An idle life is the devil's/flesh's playground. Spend enough time with no purpose and no place to go - and the flesh or the devil will begin making suggestions. Live like this and the world system (which is under the devil's control) will offer a direction - and it is a bad one. For the adulteress woman (as well as the fool she seduces) her time spent "lurking out" looking for something to do - it ends in the sin of adultery.
We need to "live out" our days. What I mean by this is that we learn to live in God's will - fulfilling His purposes for our lives. This is a life spent seeking to know God - and follow what He desires for our lives. When we live like this, we will go out like everyone else. But the time we go out will be spent accomplishing the things God desires for us to do. There will be a purpose to our going out. We will be "living out" the will of God. We will be living to bring glory to God as we take the time He's given us and put it to good use. In the end His purposes will not just keep us out of trouble - they will be lived out to where we have a life filled with purpose and meaning. This is a far better way to live than just "hanging out" or "lurking out" to see what the world, the devil, and our flesh bring us to do.
Wisdom is living a life. Wisdom is a life lived on purpose. Just hanging out will turn to just lurking out - and just lurking out will be a life lived for the wrong purposes. Be wise and live life on purpose - God's purpose.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4How would you describe an excellent wife? There is a loaded question if there ever was one - especially when a man is trying to answer that question. Men would answer this question any number of ways. Some would refer to an excellent wife solely by referring to her looks. By the way, this would be a very shallow answer - but one nevertheless. To the man wanting a trophy wife this would be his only consideration. Another man might want a good cook - still another a companion. This is why it is so difficult to answer this question. That is why a proverb like this one is valuable - because it helps us understand the proper way to answer this question biblically. This removes all selfishness and self-centeredness out of the equation - and turns us to God's answer for this question. It will also keep many of us men out of serious hot water when we answer this - and do so without thinking much (which is how we men too often answer things when it comes to the issue of women).The Bible speaks of an "excellent wife" here. What does that mean? The word is actually "chayil" in the Hebrew which when referring to women speaks of a woman with virtuous character. This was the word that was used to describe Ruth in Ruth 3:11. All the people of the city considered her an excellent and virtuous woman. She obtained this testimony because of her character and godliness. The Proverbs 31 woman is also referred to as a woman of excellence as well. Her character speaks well of her - not just in how she treats her husband and children - but also in how she is a hard working, godly woman, whose heart is set on doing well for her family. Their praise of her at the latter end of her days is well-deserved. The second thing we learn of this excellent wife is that she is the crown of her husband. The idea here is that her life and strength of character makes her husband personally proud - and brings him honor as others see her in the community. She adds dignity to his life - not shame. The second half of this proverb points to a shameful wife. We are told that the wife who shames her husband is like rottenness in his bones. Shame here means to act shamefully or to put someone to shame by their behavior. This shame comes from disgraceful conduct - and often this shame is related to sexual immorality and those who act without any wisdom. This shameful woman does not honor her husband or her Lord with her moral conduct - and in addition to this acts often without any kind of wisdom at all. These kind of actions make her like a rotting in her husband's bones. There is no stability given to him from her - and that which should hold him up, gives way into a crippling break of a bone. The excellent wife is the godly wife - the woman who first and foremost seeks to please and honor the Lord. She wants to bless her husband with her heart for God - but also desires to crown him rather than supplant him. As Proverbs 31 tells us, "She does him good all his days." Thus we see all the earthly and fleshly definitions of a good and godly wife fall to the wayside - only to be replaced with the biblical way of seeing a woman. If God has given to you such a wife - realize you have a rare jewel - a diamond and ruby of great value! Cherish her and praise her often for she will not usually be praised by our society. For those who read this - and are women - strive to be the woman God desires for you to be rahter than what the women's magazines promote. Reject the worldy woman who embraces feminism rather than femininity. Enjoy being a woman and enjoy your gender. It is God's gift to you - and a blessing you should cherish. Learn to see your role as God defines it in Scripture - because in the end, you will have to answer to Him on that day - not the NOW.
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1It is interesting to follow the ongoing description of two women in Proverbs. These two women are the wise and godly woman and the immoral and foolish woman. Here they are contrasted in how they deal with their onw house. House is used here not of a literal building but rather of how a woman builds up her own family. Thus the wise woman builds up her family. She is selfless and gives herself away to strengthen and encourage and bless her family members. Her husband knows her love and support - and her children are partakers of her love, discipline, and care. Truly, the woman who does this gives untold blessings to her family. Her spirit pervades the home and makes it so much more than just a place to live - but a place to grow and thrive. Keil and Delitzsch make a comment that I want to quote here.
"In truth, the oneness of the house is more dependent on the mother than on the father. A wise mother can, if her husband be dead or neglectful of his duty, always keep the house together; but if the house-wife has neither understanding nor good-will for her calling, then the best will of the house-father cannot hinder the dissolution of the house, prudence and patience only conceal and mitigate the process of dissolution—the folly of the house-wife, always becomes more and more, according to the degree in which this is a caricature of her calling, the ruin of the house."
Moms are such a blessing to the home if they are godly ones. They will build up their homes with their own hands and with their own works. That house is truly blesssed to have one - to have a mother who is a wise woman - and who builds up her home by her constant efforts to make it a place of peace and an environment where the work and presence of the Holy Spirit is welcome.
On the other hand - the foolish woman tears down her home with her own hands. Her foolishness is what is keyed upon here. Foolishness throughout the book of Proverbs is seen in those who do not take God's perspective on things. To the extent that a woman does not focus upon the Lord - to that extent she will tear her own house to the ground. Women who focus on wealth and the world's view of beauty will do great damage to their sons and daughters. The woman who thinks that a career is far more important than the job of being a mom will do great damage, not just to her own family, but to the society around them. Multiply this attitude a million-fold in a society and you have the makings of that societies' downfall. She can teach her daughters that they should focus on chasing men rather than seeking God. She can have them think that a man is gotten by her female wiles rather than by her chaste and godly character. Such foolish women have destroyed their homes down through the ages. The Bible is full of examples of both these women.
Ahab, that wicked king of Israel had two of them in his life. First his mother did not rear him to fear the Lord. It is amazing to see that every king had his mother mentioned - and then afterward it is told whether he did right or evil in God's sight. Possilby her greatest failure with Ahab was allowing him to marry Jezebel, the second foolish woman in his life. She counselled and encouraged Ahab to do evil and even to kill to get a piece of land he wanted. Ahab turned into a pouty, spoiled, godless man due to the influence of these women. He was responsible for his own actions, but how often the actions of a child reflect the mother who reared him. Ahab wound up destroying not just himself, but ever single child born to him. In the end, both his mother and Jezebel destroyed and tore down their houses with their own hands. These are not the only women who exhibit this behavior. There is Athaliah, who not only counselled her son to walk in th ways of Ahab, but who when her son had died, killed all the rest of the royal offspring so she could be queen. There was Micah's mother who blessed her son's thieving ways and dedicated her stolen precious metal to make an idol for him and her household. There was Herodias, who had her daughter debauch herself so that she could carry out her deadly grudge against John the Baptist by having his head cut off and put on a silver platter. These ungodly woman torn down house after house and paved the way for greater destruction in future generations.
Thank God that we also have godly examples placed before us. We have examples of women who built their houses instead of tearing them down. Godly Sarah who called Abraham lord, even though he was not the greatest of protectors. She was responsible for building up the house of Israel. There was Jochabed, mother of Moses who risked her life to protect and care for Moses - and then when God had allowed him to be placed back into her hands as his nurse - she taught him the ways of the Lord. There was the godly mother and grandmother of Timothy, Lois and Eunice, who took the time to teach him the Scriptures which made him wise unto salvation. What blessing was passed from generation to generation through these godly women. May God add to their number more and more so that our nation can be blessed in its future as well.
Hear, my son, your father's instruction And do not forsake your mother's teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9Why do we need to listen to our fathers and mothers? It is because God intends for us to learn of Him through them. If you watch television and listen to the dominant voices in our society you will hear this particular admonition greatly militated against. Our world wants us to make our own path and decide what we believe for ourselves - or at least when they are trying to influence us. There are those who think that a child who is being trained and taught diligently by their parents is being indoctrinated. Their answer is to stop this child abuse and let children make up their own minds concerning how they respond to the message from the fallen world. Of course you see what this brings when you look at society today and the direction that most children are going.
God says for a child to hear his father's instruction. Just a brief word to fathers as this begins. Dads . . . are you instructing your children in the things of the Lord? Do they hear you speak of the things of God often - and in a didactic fashion? Part of our problem today is that fathers don't take their roles seriously. They abandon the rearing of their children to their mothers and to the world. They figure that the educational system will do this work along with the mother. But God does not see it this way - in fact - He does not even want the father to abandon the teaching of his children to the church - or the Sunday School. This can be a valuable ally - but nothing can replace a godly dad teaching his children the things of the Lord.
Something that may even be more shocking to our current climate of child-rearing is the fact that this word "instruction" means more than just word of mouth. It means to chastise and discipline a child. The word here is used more of this than anything else. The ideas of discipline, chastening, punishment, reproof and warning far outweigh the idea of instruction here. This is a father taking the time to teach his son and daughter - but with more than just ideas. The dad is teaching and training - using correction and chastening to drive the point home to the child who is to be learning from him. What is told to the child? Hear this - don't tune dad out when he offers chastening and instruction. Listen and live - and be blessed. It is so vital to a child's well-being to listen and to do so soberly!
The child is also told to not forsake the teaching of the mother. Her teaching is not to be tossed aside and left behind. That is the idea being passed on to the child. He or she should take the mom's teaching and hold it fast - not allowing it to be cast to the side in favor of the world and what it seeks to teach that child. The mom is to "lay down the law" here - as the word for teaching is actually torah - which is the Word used to describe God's Law. Yes, there is a desperate need for rules and for expected actions and attitudes in a child. And YES - the mother and the father need to work together not only teaching these things - but also enforcing them with discipline when necessary.
Rather than just issue this command, God's Word lets the child know what is coming when they do listen and follow. This teaching and discipline will be a "graceful wreath to your head" and "ornaments about your neck." The wreath spoke of conquest and victory. When a child listens and learns from the Godly teaching and discipline of his father and mother - that child is going to gain valuable victories early in life over the flesh and over that part of himself or herself that rebels against the world. Oh, what a blessing it is when parents help a child early in life to obey - to submit their will to another - to surrender their rights when being directed in life. The worldling child knows little of this - and often is taught to rebel against God's ways and commandments. There is already a fatal flaw in us in this regard - and we so desperately need to learn to respond to God aright.
Children - learn to listen and follow the word and the warning of your parents. It will go a long way to preparing you for the world you face. But even more importantly it will help you listen to the God Who will draw you to Himself for the purpose of salvation and a life turned to the right!
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