She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26
The excellent wife is a doer, which we have seen throughout this entire portrait. But we learn in verse 26 that she is also a teacher - and one whose words are a blessing to all those who hear them. Let's take a look at the two pictures that are painted for us, describing this aspect of the excellent wife.
First we see that she speaks wisdom. The picture that is painted for us is a woman who when she sees the need of breaking silence with her mouth - speaks and wisdom pours from her. The phrase "opens her mouth," is a Hebraism meaning what is under her tongue or ready to proceed from her mouth. It has the idea that as soon as her mouth opens to speak - wisdom pours forth from it. The Jewish scholars believed that this woman's heart was so filled with this wisdom from God that the moment she opened her mouth it naturally flowed from it. This is the kind of woman yiou want to be around when she did speak. She was the female embodiment of E.F. Hutton - who when she speaks - you should listen!
The second thing we learn about her is that "the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." There are two ways of reading this - and honestly I think either is correct. The first way would be to say that she teaches of kindness to others. The word for kindness here is the Hebrew word "chesed." This word is the one that is closest to the New Testaement concept of agape love that we have in the Old Testament. The word meant both goodness and kindness - and referred to God's covenant love. She taught of God's great covenant love. She taught of a God who loved His people, showing them His kindness and His goodness to them. But the second way of seeing this is that she was loving as she taught. The reason I feel that either is applicable is that they compliment each other so well. One who teaches of God's love would, of course, be one who showed it as well even as she taught.
The excellent wife is not just a worker - but a lover - and one who loves as God Himself does. She speaks wisdom and teaches of love. These are two wonderful aspects of God that every family member and especially the children need to learn. That is why the excellent wife is so ready to speak of such things whenever she opens her mouth. She is a source of blessing therefore not only in all that she does for this family - but also in all she speaks and teaches as well.
That you may observe discretion And your lips may reserve knowledge. Proverbs 5:2
One of the ways that we know that we are being discreet in life is by what comes out of our mouths when we speak. What is fascinating about this passage is that the overall gist of the fifth chapter of Proverbs is that it deals primarily with the issue of immorality and those who fall into the trap the adulteress.
One of the reasons why we need to gain wisdom and understanding is so that we may watch out to be discreet. The word "observe" in this passage means to guard and be careful. Zhodiates states that this word basically means to be on your guard. What you are guarding is "discretion." Yet the word is different than the discretion that is mentioned most often in the book of Proverbs. It means a thought - or the thoughts in our minds that are used to make up our plans. There is one major point though that needs to be distinguished about this word. It most often means evil plans and schemes that are contrary to God's ways. What Solomon is warning his son to watch out for in life is evil plans and schemes that begin to formulate in his mind.
When it comes to maintaining purity in our lives, what happens in our heads is vitally important. We need to watch over our minds and what is running through them. Actions begin as thoughts - which in time turn into plans and schemes. The reason we watch and guard our minds is to make sure that when lust and immoral thoughts try to push in - we deal with them. It is not just enough to push these thoughts out - we need to bring them to the cross. The Word tells us to mortify these things - and that means to kill them! Nothing short of this will do.
The second half of this proverb says that when we watch over the development of evil plans and schemes in our heads - it will help us to watch over our mouths. Our mouths will speak "a knowing" when we guard our minds. This knowing is once again primarily a discernment - but one that is specific to the situation. Remember that here this refers to sexual immorality and the wiles of the adulteress. We are warned in the very next verse that the adulteress captures men with her words and her flattery. These things often cause men to be deceived in their hearts and minds. The flattery of a woman giving them attention strokes their pride and their ego - something very dangerous to a man who doesn't watch what enters and walks through his mind. In time his pride and ego can lie to him and fill his mind with thoughts of further flattery. He begins wanting to spend more time with this woman - at lunch and eventually at secret meetings he keeps from his wife. We all know where this is going - toward an eventual adulterous relationship with this woman. Yet the real danger started with the thoughts that ran through his mind - and the words he began to speak to this woman because he didn't watch and guard against the adulterous thoughts that were fostered in his head. He may not wake up until the damage is irrepairable.
It is vital to our spiritual progress and protection to keep a close eye on what is going through our minds. This is the stuff that can cause us serious problems. What begins in just a seed form in our minds will eventually sprout and bear disastrous fruit. Better to deal with seeds by being wise - than have to cut down entire forests because of a lack of watchfulness.
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. Proverbs 29:20
There is a saying that is used to help people see that they need to think before they do something. That phrase is, "Look before you leap." After reading this proverb I think there should be a second phrase developed and used to help us keep from sticking our foot in our mouth - saying things that hurt others and damage our testimony. That phrase is, "Think before you speak!"
There is great wisdom in taking a moment to think about what you are going to say. It may slow you down in communicating, but in the end it will keep you from saying things that you will regret later. Proverbs 10:19 tells us, "When there are many words, trangression is unavoidable, but a wise man restrains his words." It won't hurt us to take a moment to think about what we are about to say - it will actually bless us - and keep us from sin. It might be helpful on a test to write down the first answer that comes to our mind - but it is usually not helpful to speak the first thing that comes into our heads. I know many times in my life that doing that would have seriously damaged relationships.
The wise thing to say is the thing we have contemplated or thought about. When we are hasty in our words we will be careless in them as well. That can lead to hurtful words being spoken. It is wise for us to remember that we are fallen, sinful men and women. It is also wise for us to remember that we can speak out of our flesh or out of God's Spirit. Let me quote Galatians 5 to give you an idea of what will come from each of these two sources.
The flesh will yield these things. "Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." There is a list we want to avoid at all costs. These are the things that damage and possibly even nd relationships. Our mouths do not need to speak from the flesh. Here is why we do not want to be hasty in our words. Stop and consider the source - and if it resembles these kinds of words - don't say anything. This is even more important when we are angry or we feel hurt or misunderstood. Better to take our time communicating before we speak in these circumstances. It may even be wise to ask clarifying questions like, "What did you mean when you said this?" Often we receive slight where slight was not meant to be commuicated to us. Thinking before we speak will allow us to step back and clarify what we heard before we decide to respond to it.
Speaking out of the Spirit involves yielding ourselves to the Holy Spirit. It means stopping and listening to the counsel of the Spirit as He guides us through every situation we face. Here is what we can expect to come out of our mouths when we do this. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." Two benefits from stopping and listening to the Holy Spirit will be first, the much better words that will come from us - words of love and the other wonderful characteristics that are mentiioned here. But a second benefit will also be the way our "passions and desires" will be crucified as we do not yield to the flesh, but walk in the Spirit.
I am what is called a "verbal processor," which means I do better when I can talk through things. That comes with some pretty dangerous territory, because if I do this with someone I can say some pretty stupid things before I reason through my feelings and my attitudes. That is why God has greatly encouraged me to verbally process with Him - and not so much with everyone else. David verbally processed with God often in the Psalms. It is why some of them seem to say pretty rough things at first - but end in praising God and David submitting himself to God. The Lord can handle this where humans cannot. So, if you need to talk - talk to God - about your difficult things - about everything. But be careful to "think before you speak" with men. Solomon tells us that if we don't do this - there is more hope for a fool than for us. That is a pretty tough thing to face - but then again - I've faced some pretty difficult things because I was too foolish to "think before I speak."
He who hates disguises it with his lips, But he lays up deceit in his heart. When he speaks graciously, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart. Though his hatred covers itself with guile, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly. Proverbs 26:24-26
This proverb is about how people can hate you in their heart while all the time speaking what seem like pleasant words from their mouths. It has to do with deceitfulness, guile, and ultimately . . . wickedness. A wise man read these things and learns that just because someone is "for you" with their words does not mean that they are really with you in the end. There are some who speak wonderful words in public, but their feelings and their support in private is a wholly different matter.
Most people do not speak openly about their hate of another. To do such a thing would immediately characterize them in a very negative light. It would also expose them in such a way that they would have no more influence with that individual - or with anyone who thinks favorable of them. Therefore it is better for the ungodly man to disguise his hatred. This, according to God's wisdom, is done with his lips. He speaks graciously of the one he hates, All this is done for the sake of appearance only. The whole time he speaks graciously and kindly of this man - he has quite another thing going on inside his heart. We are told that he is laying up deceit in his heart. He is deceiving others - and in some ways even deceiving himself. He hates the man he speaks kindly of - and considers him an enemy.
We are warned that when we come to a man like this, we need to look into his heart. There is lying within his heart - and there are also abominations - 7 of them to be exact. What are these abominations? There are a couple of possibilities. Jesus spoike of seven woes in Matthew 23. These were curses on the Pharisees and Saducees for the hypocrisy that they practiced. Here we have a man who hates his friend or acquaintence, being the picture of hypocrisy by speaking well of him and yet hating him in his heart. The seven thing Jesus speaks of may be similar to the abominations in this man's heart. This also may be related to the seven things God says He hates in Proverbs 6:16-19. The list here is full of things God absolutely despises. The way I lean on this is that the number seven used here speaks more of perfection. There is a perfect hate - that leads to a perfectly abominable attitude and heart filled with evil and hypocritical actions and thoughts toward this one who is hated.
The warning here I think is twofold. First of all, don't be a man like this. Don't be someone who speaks hypocritically of another - saying positive, gracious things about them while all the while holding hatred and wicked, abominable thoughts and plans in your heart. To live this way is so harmful to our spirit. It is also to embrace attitudes that are completely foreign to Almighty God and those who are transformed by the Holy Spirit to be more like Christ daily. The second lesson for us is learned as we hear a warning from God. Such a man as this will be exposed in the end. His hypocrisy and his falsehood will be revealed. The assmbly will see the duplicity of this man - for God Himself will expose him in the end.
Consider this one example as we draw our thoughts about this proverb to a close. Judas was the ultimate example of this proverb. He was with Jesus for three years - and yet in the end sold him for a slave's price as he betrayed the Lord. During that time Judas never exposed himself publicly as an enemy of Christ. Even his betrayal was false as he betrayed the Son of God with a kiss. He was unwilling for his heart of hatred and greed to be exposed publically - and yet it was exposed. In the gospels we learn that Judas was a thief who stole money out of their money box. He was a man who criticized the beautiful expression of Mary's love when she anointed the Lord's feet with her perfumed oil worth a year's wages. Judas spoke only because he knew such a stash would have netted him so much more money he could embezzle later. God fully exposed Judas' hypocrisy - revealing in the gospels all the lies, deceit, and guile that he hid for three years. In the end he was exposed - showing both his hypocrisy and his horrific end - hanging from a tree dead and hopeless.
Do not be a betrayer - a liar - and a fraud in your friendships. Speak the truth - and if it is hard truth to hear - speak it in love. Don't hide things by sounding one way with your friend - and a wholly different way when you are not physically with him. This is a lifestyle that God calls an abomination. Be a true friend - an honest one - and one who is the same whether seen or unseen. Such a friend is like The Lord.
By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone. Proverbs 25:15
Today's proverb has to do with the power of persuasion - especially when the one who is to be persuaded is someone in authority, like a ruler or a king. How is it that we persuade someone so high in office? The answer might shock you, because the Lord says that it is not the forceful man that will win the day. Patience and gentleness have much greater power to persuade than a blustery, arrogant person.
Forbearance is what is needed, according to our proverb. The Hebrew word here is "orek" and it means something long or lengthy. It describes physical measurements. The word used to describe the length of Noah's ark as well as to describe things like large land measurements. But what is measured as long in this passage is the patience and willingness to stick with one's cause before someone in authority. The idea is that a person forbears the fact that the ruler has a different opinion - and seeks to bring the powers of persuasion to bear on him over time. Most rulers are not given to quick swings in opinion - and when they do - it has the danger of not lasing long. The influence of the wise man is applied to a decision over a long period of time. That is one reason he is effective in getting the ruler to think and reason as he does. William Wilberforce spent his entire lifetime forbearing with those who differed with him on the issue of slavery. Yet he held to his views and continued to persuade men by holding them no matter what the outcome of votes within Parliment. In the end, his willingness to remain in the fight and stay there for years won the day for him and his cause.
There is a second tool that a wise man uses in persuading a ruler. We are instructed that a soft or gentle tongue can break a bone. What a powerful picture that is for us - and yet how contrary to the way that many of us are wired to think. It is not boisterousness and bravado that win the day with the ruler. It is the wise, soft spoken and gentle man who can eventually persuade the king on a matter. Consider Daniel for a moment on this matter. He was a very wise man who had tremendous influence on the king. Yet we do not have a single passage where Daniel speaks impassioned words to the king. Joseph was the same way. He was a man of controlled passions when it came to his dealings with Pharaoh. This kind of strength under control allies great power. The king and the Pharaoh came to have great confidence in these godly men. Their words - though gentle in their presentation - were powerful and could accomplish much.
Of those who led with forbearance and gentle words, Jesus stands more significant among all. He was patient with His disciples - and submitted Himself to God and even to others when He Himself had once sat at the right hand of God Himself. He spoke in ways that made men marvel - and commanded even the elements to submit to His will. When standing before a corrupt pseudo-court of man - Jesus was able to be quiet - even amazing His captors with His behavior. And when it came to raw displays of power - His simple words, "I am He," in the garden caused a wicked mob to stagger backwards and fall to the ground on their backs. Gentleness bearing great power - Jesus was the epitome of it in life.
Too many in our day think that to be influential you have to be a jerk. They see power as something wielded with an iron fist. You don't take anything from anybody - even someone in a position of authority. Such behavior may get you a temporary rung higher on the corporate ladder, but it will NOT bode well for you long into the future. The "gentle-tongued" man does not make the kind of enemies that the man with the macho attitude. He does not leave a trail of crushed egos and smashed careers along the way. The man who triumphs with power and a lack of gentleness will have many who will cheer for his fall. The gentle man learns to break a bone with the gentle and controlled way that he quietly and consistently speaks for his principles. Thus he comes to the point of persuasioin without all the baggage of his blustery counterparts.
Learn to influence others wisely. Learn to stand in positions of principle steadfastly. Learn to persuade others with soft, gentle, bone-crushing power. The power you access in the process will not be that of the fleshly elite of this world, whose kingdoms are passing away. The power you access will be that of the Son of God - Who remained silent as a lamb before His shearers - and yet who crushed death and hell under the weight of His godly obedience to His Father. There, dear saints, is power!
He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip. Proverbs 20:19
Did you know that God views gossip and slander as pretty much the same thing? That probably does not sit all that well with some who engage in the sin of gossip - but really do not see themselves as slanderers. Yet from what we will learn in today's proverb, pretty much one is the same as the other. The first thing we learn from today's proverb is that a slanderer reveals secrets. Usually when someone tells you something in confidence they do not want their information spread around. They would prefer that you keep the information to yourself. But the slanderer takes this information that should remain secret and spreads it freely. Since the term "slanderer" is used, we can only assume that the way this information is used is to tear someone down. The "secret" information that they hold about someone else is used to destroy them in the eyes of others. Whether shared as a fact – or as often happens in Christian circles – a prayer request – it has effectively slandered the one who shared it in confidence.
This Proverb therefore says that it is very unwise to "associate with a gossip. When we learn that a particular person is not trustworthy with secrets, we need to steer clear of an association with them. They are a gossip. The problem often is that gossips often congregate – around each other’s gossip. Therefore the wise man realizes that in hearing gossip he should check his own heart to make sure he himself is not part of a gossip circle. Once he determines this – he then should limit any association with the person who shared their gossip with him.
Loose lips sink ships. This was a saying during the war that spoke of the danger of secrets being revealed. The danger was that a spy could gain information about one of our ships going to help in the fight with Germany. In the wrong hands this information could have proven to be deadly. Therefore one needed to be very careful how they spoke – and even more careful what they spoke to whom. Another saying is also appropriate here. Loose lips sink lives. Gossips are guilty of slander that often sets someone’s life on fire. Their careless words cause havoc to come upon others. The truly wise man – avoids such people
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. - Proverbs 15:28
Look before you leap. There is a proverb outside Scripture that reminds us to seriously think about the steps we take, because once we take them we cannot get them back. Our proverb today is similar to this except it deals with what we say. One might say that this proverb could be said this way, "Think before you speak!"
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer. We should note right from the start that the "heart" of the righteous is what is pondering his answer. The godly man does not allow his mouth to run its own course without the management of the heart. He wants to speak from the heart - not shoot from the hip. The problem about shooting from the hip when we speak is the carnage that results from drive-by speaking. This wise man thinks and considers what he is about to say. He takes the time to meditate on God's Word before he speaks his own. He discerns what is needed for the situation and speaks according to what God wants. This godly man speaks as God directs in Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for edifying as the need may be, that it may give grace to them that hear." Ultimately this man speaks those wonderful, edifying words that are like "apples of gold in settings of silver" which are words spoken at just the perfect time.
The wicked allows his mouth to have free reign in his life. This is a dangerous thing because left to itself a mouth can be dangerous. We read in the third chapter of James, "So the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fireon fire! And the tongue is a fire: the very world of iniquity, the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, ans set on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell." These verses warn us in the starkest terms of the danger of allowing our mouths and tongues to gho unchecked in what they say. When we do this it is inevitable that our mouth will "pour out evil things." The heart of the wicked man will be fully expressed by his words. The result of this will be much evil and pain in the world. Consider how many horrible things started with evil words pouring out of a wicked man's mouth. Think for a moment how Adolph Hitler mesmerized entire crowds in Germany by his wicked words. Then consider what the end of his leadership brought to the world. We may not ever do the damage of Hitler, but much harm can come from unwise, un-considered words.
Precious ones, God wants us to think before we speak. It will bring blessing to us - and will benefit those who are the recipients of our words. May we submit what we say to our Lord every morning. May we ask the Holy Spirit to bridle our tongues so that they do not speak of themselves. May we surrender all we say for God's purposes and God's specific leadership so that they can truly edify those who hear them.
A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word! Proverbs 15:23
Don't you love it when you say the right thing - in the right way - at just the right time? That is what our proverb is about today. It is about being wise enough to know when to speak - and not only that - but what to speak when you have the opportunity.
The beginning of this proverb starts with a Hebraism about the mouth. There is joy in having an answer of the mouth, which the way that this Hebraism would read. It has to do with the ability to speak well - or in this case to speak what helps others. When speaking of Moses' complaint to God about his inability to speak, this similar Hebraism is used. Moses complained to God that he had a "heavy mouth." This meant that he stuttered and stammered when he spoke. This speech problem made Moses think he could not be a spokesman for God. God gave him Aaron to speak for him, but we see plainly that Moses did not struggle to speak when the Spirit of God moved upon him to confront Pharaoh. The mouth of the man here in proverbs knows no such problem. He brings joy to others as they here the "answer of his mouth," which means the perfect thing to say in the moment. Whether this is a word of teaching, reproof, correction, or training in righteousness - the best word to speak is one that is in agreement with God's Word on the matter.
The prophet Nathan spoke the perfect word to David to bring him to repentance over his adultery and cover-up of his sin. Joshua spoke the perfect word to the people of Israel as they needed to decide whether they would serve the Lord. David spoke the perfect word to Goliath to remind him that God was going to give David victory because of Goliath's mocking of God. Daniel had the perfect words to speak to Nebuchadnezzar when he needed his dream interpretted. Jesus always had the perfect word to speak to detractors, to those who were hungry for his Word, and to those who came to Him needy and longing for God's grace and healing.
A timely word is delightful - both to the one who speaks it and to the one who receives it. There are so many who come to church hurting who need to hear such words. They long for a word of encouragement - for someone to lift them up. Others who are complacent and full of themselves need rebuke. Others still may need exhortation because they are timid about following the Lord radically. And a few who are long term church members, but who do not know Christ, need someone to love them by sharing the gospel with them so they can move from just being religious - to being Christians. No matter what the need, God will give us these "answers of the mouth." He will do so as we surrender to Him and desire far more to speak the truth in love - than just to engage in small talk.
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
Have you ever had someone say something to you that was so cutting that it felt like a sword stabbing you in the heart? Unfortunately, those moments happen - and God warns us about them. Today's proverb reminds us that our words can cut deeply when we speak out of anger or resentment - and do so rashly without thinking about what we are about to say.
Solomon warns his son that there are those who will speak out of the wrong kind of passion. They speak in anger and rage. They speak rashly - and therefore do not consider what their words are about to do to the one who is hearing them. Just about everyone in our world has had one of those moments. We speak out of anger to a spouse and cut them deeply to the heart. We speak out of frustration to a child and crush their spirit. We speak out of resentment to a co-worker and damage our relationship with them. Whatever the situation, the key here is not to speak "rashly." This word means to speak thoughtlessly. The fact is that they just do not take the time to think about what they are saying - and to do so with a graciousness that considers the other person's feelings. Therefore their words are foolish and said flippantly. They usually do not know the damage they are causing till later - and sometimes they don't get it at all. We cannot get our words back once we speak them - therefore we should send out our words with some thought before speaking them. James warned in the New Testament that we should be "slow to speak." Following such wisdom will keep us from broken relationships and from having to apologize for saying something stupid.
There are also those whose tongue bring healing. One damages while the other heals. Their statements can comfort those who have been hurt. They can counsel people to do what is necessary to remedy bad choices, bringing spiritual healing to their lives. There is also another way they can speak - and that is with the Scriptures - which can heal a breach between men - but more importantly can heal THE BREACH between man and God. Such words are spoken of elsewhere in Proverbs as apples of gold set in settings of silver - for they are words spoken in a right situation.
One last thing about this particular proverb - and it comes from a personal experience of reading the Scriptures in my quiet time. I remember reading this particular proverb and thinking that I do not want to use my tongue like a fool swinging a sword blindly. But I also began to grieve - thinking that I wished that there was something more powerful than a human tongue. Then the Holy Spirit brought to mind a Scripture that I had memorized. Hebrews 4:12
says that the Word of God is sharper than any double-edged sword. It was then that I realized that although human words can cut us - nothing is as sharp as the Word of God. And whereas the careless words of the fool may damage - God uses His Word to cut in a way that brings healing. Hosea speaks of this in chapter six of his prophecy. God was going to use His word upon His people - and it would wound them. But it would be the kind of wounding that would be bandaged and healed later. It was like the wound of a surgeon - who only cuts to remove a cancerous tumor that will eventually kill us. These are Hosea's words,
"Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day, that we may live before Him." Here we read how the tongue of the Wisest of all was used to bring healing - even though it cut as the words were heard. May we be those who speak the truth - who speak righteousness - who speak so as to bring healing to others.
The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable, But the mouth of the wicked what is perverted. Proverbs 10:32
Our culture is coarsening. I see it every day in the way that we talk. The use of perverted language has grown a hundred fold in the last 20 years - and unfortunately - it looks like things are getting worse. It would be one thing to see this among the lost because - well let's just admit it - they are lost. But what I am seeing is that there is also a coarsening in how Christians speak. Things that would have horrified us just 25 years ago - are now becoming more common in everyday conversation. Before you think that I am taking the place of the ultra-righteous who is shocked at all the wicked sinners - I have noticed a coarsening of my own language - and have begun a concerted effort to speak in an acceptable manner before a holy God.
The righteous bring forth what is acceptable with their lips. That means the things they say are acceptable. At this point is would be good to define the word, acceptable. Acceptable to Whom? That is the question we need to answer. Our society seems to think that acceptable to the current standards of society is the rule of the day. By saying this I am not saying that their language equals that of the world, but rather that we set our idea of what is acceptable by a comparison with the world. Let me give you an example of what I am saying. I want to put a disclaimer here - because I will have to use a word that is not acceptable to many to help illustrate my point.
The world's language is completely out of control. The amount of foul language allowed on prime time television and movies is astounding. When you consider that Rhett Butler's, "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a "expletive," was met with shock and horror in the theaters of the day, you can see that we are out of control. Frank Butler's remarks might not even merit a drop to a PG rating in our day. Certainly his remarks would be shrugged off, even by Christians, in our day. Yet, the sensibilities of that day were horrified by the outrageous language used. Fast forward to today and we learn that men who are considered conservative Christian preachers are using worse language than Frank Butler from our pulpits. Words I would have been reprimanded for saying out loud - are now widely accepted by Christian circles. That is why we need to realize that having our lips bring forth what is acceptable means bringing forth what is acceptable to God.
We should note that in just two verses God says that He is greatly offended by things which are perverse. Here we read that while the godly man speaks what is acceptable - the wicked man says things that are perverse. The idea of being perverted is not just a reference to those who speak sexually perverted things. It goes further to include any way that God's ways are perverted - which means to twist or make them something that they are not. To say that we can come to God based on our own works is to pervert the gospel. To say that God is too loving to judge the wicked is perverting His holiness. So we see that there are ways to pervert the truth God has reveled to us. The wicked speak these things - and thus perversity comes out of their mouths. That is why we not only need to address the foul language that comes from Christians with this verse, but we also need to address the ways people pervert the truth to make the gospel more palatable to the wicked.
May God help us each day to have our language pleasing and acceptable to Him. I will admit that the only reason I began to adopt some words and ways of expressing myself that were unacceptable was to look cool to younger people. This is a horrible reason to let how you speak be coarsened. We should seek to be holy as God is holy. We should have a heart that desires to honor God in every conversation that we have with others. As the Psalmist said, "May the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart be acceptable to the Lord." Then and only then can we know that what our mouths bring forth is godly and acceptable to God Himself.