Calvary Chapel of Jonesboro
 
Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," And call understanding your intimate friend; That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words. Proverbs 7:4-5

Solomon is teaching his son the kind of relationship you should have with wisdom and understanding.  He uses two interesting pictures here to describe this relationship - but they become so much clearer when you see the issue that wisdom is addressing in our lives. 

"Say to wisdom, 'You are my sister."  That is the first metaphor that Solomon uses to describe our relationship with wisdom.  Wisdom should have a place in our heart like family does.  Like a sister walks with us and can speak to us - so wisdom is to have that access in our lives.  We are to allow our sister wisdom to warn us - and this is especially true in the area Solomon is about to mention.  Verse 5 tells us that this is in the area of the adulteress.  There are few people who can help a brother better than his sister when it comes to knowing when a woman is in his life that should not be.  I did not have any sisters, but I've watched my own daughters know in moments whether a woman was good for their brothers or not.  I've also seen them speak to their brothers lovingly yet firmly of this as well.  But even closer to us that the wise counsel of our sisters is the counsel of the Holy Spirit as He speaks wisdom to us concerning this issue.  He is trying to get us to see things from the perspective of the Father in heaven - who sees exactly what a woman is and is not.  Oh, how we need to listen and to heed his warnings - and see the adulteress outside our hormonal view that too often dominates and deceives us. 

Another way to see this is to call understanding our intimate friend.  Here is a word that is even more fascinating.    Intimate friend here is the Hebrew word "moda" which means a kinsman or relative.  What is truly wonderful about this word is that it is the word used in Ruth for the kinsman redeemer.  This is a picture of Christ, who redeems us out of our slavery and out of our troubles.  Understanding can redeem us from a bad situation when we are about to be involved with a woman who will destroy us.  When we understand, we discern godly actions - and that discernment helps us to make right choices.  We not only see wisdom, but we comprehend it.  

Zhodiates comments on this word are eerie when we see it used here.  "A lack of this kind of understanding was morally culpable and resulted in sin."  When we lack understanding - when we do not discern that an action is evil and will result in us sinning against God and others - we are in great danger.  We've all heard the statement - it is one thing to know the Bible, but another to understanding it and apply it to all of life.  That is what Solomon is saying to his son here - that understanding should be like his kinsman redeemer.  Understanding and the abilty to discern evil from good - as well as the direction to actually choose it as well - will rescue him from many dangers.  The lack of these will leave him open to much harm - and that is multiplied when it comes to situations involving the adulteress.

 We begin to grasp why wisdom and understanding need to be our sister and kinsman redeemer when we see the way that the adulteress seeks to capture men.  The wise father here is offering very sage advice to his son - in an effort to rescue him from the snares of immoral women who would capture him with their wiles. Wisdom and understanding keep us from the adulteress.  There is something we need to hear in our day - or any day for that matter.  If a man does not walk in this world with his spirit open to the Holy Spirit - he will have the normal abnormalcy of walking in his flesh.  I call this normal - because it is the state of all who come into this world.  I call it abnormalcy because that was not how God originally made man - nor is it where God wants us to be.  Too many men, young and old, walk blind to spiritual realities.  This makes them sitting ducks for immorality and every other kind of vice common to mankind.  It is only seeing things from God's perspective that will guard us from the adulteress.  Thus we need to think in cooperation with the Holy Spirit who desires to give us wisdom and understanding - not with our desires and with our labido.  We need to be guarded and protected . . . from ourselves. 

This "strange woman," which is what the Hebrew literally says, is a foreigner.  This term may surprise you, but it has more to do with a "spiritual" foreigner than any kind of nationality issues.  God warned Israel about the nations that surrounded her because their daughters would intermarry with Israel's sons.  God's concern was that this situation would result in Israel's sons worshipping the false god's that these women worshipped.  As a result, these sons would turn from the Lord and follow the false gods of the nations instead of the one true God, Jehovah.

The adulteress has a secret weapon in her arsenal.  It is one that God warns us of - and yet still hundreds and thousands of men fall for it every day.  She "flatters" with her words.  Men love for their egos to be stroked and pampered.  They love it when a woman says nice things about them - compliments them - and tells them how wonderful they are.  (As a man, I fear that this comes from the arrogant prideful thought within me that when they do - they are so right - because . . . well . . . because I just so incredibly awesome!)  Oh, here is the danger, men!  We want the ego strokes because of our pride.  When a man has been married for a while - too often these ego-strokes begin to fade in the marriage due to men being doofusses and due to the natural progression of sin. 

(Just a note to wives . . . ladies, you cannot ever grasp how important it is for your husband to know you appreciate him - and that you still consider him your hero - and a warning as well is needed here.  If you don't do this - or think its just dumb to say things like this cause you've been married 5, 10, 20, 30 years.  I can promise you that at some point, some other woman may begin complimenting and flattering your husband.  He is still responsible to be godly, be pure, and be faithful.  But that task becomes all the more difficult - when he receives no encouragement at home - no ego-strokes - no compliments.  This makes it harder to resist when someone finally appreciates him.  This is not meant to justify unfaithfulness - it just hopefully helps you see that your God-given task of being his helpmate (which includes encouragement and seeing him as your hero) will make it so much easier for him to see the smooth, flattery of the adulteress for what it is . . . a trap!)

The adulteress uses flattery to trap a man.  She uses compliments and smooth statements as bait for another woman's husband.  The word for flattery means words that are smooth and slippery.  What a picture of the deception and the lies that are at work here.  She worships herself and her own desires - and she is working hard through her slippery, smooth comments to get this poor sap to join her in her worship.  He can worship himself and enter into her worship of herself through an illicit relationship.  She catches her prey by luring him in through the baited compliments she places into her trap.

Wisdom and understanding are essential to delivering us from such things.  God's viewpoint is simple men.  Are you married?  Do you presently have a wife?  Then this is totally and completely out of bounds!  If this is absolutely outside of God's will for you - then who could be behind such counsel and such temptation?  We need to see these compliments for what they are.  They are bait on a hook!  If you nibble at the bait - a hook is going to tear through the flesh of your lip - possibly rip open your jaw - and no matter how hard you fight, you're going to be reeled in and mounted as a trophy on Satan's wall!  My how that description just changed how we view the flattery and slippery speech of the adulteress!  We went from being enamored with her beauty and the promise of ecstasy - to feeling sick at our stomachs at the thought of a hook tearing through our skin and the pain that it would yield.  Good!!  That is what wisdom and understanding are supposed to do.  They are supposed to take the silly trappings off of the devil's lies - off of our flesh and its deceptive thoughts - and show us the horror of what truly lies ahead. 

This is why wisdom is to be our sister - and understanding our kinsman redeemer.  They can take the most sensual, inviting situation and show it for what it is.  It is going to be horrible!  It is going to be bondage!  It is going to be regretted in the end!  May God give us grace to see these things - to wake up out of the stupor of our fleshly sleep - and see the truth before it is too late. 

 


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