He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend. Proverbs 22:11
What kind of person is the king's friend? That is in interesting question because those who have been in places of high authority know that it is often difficult to determine which ones are their friends - and which ones are befriending them for ulterior motives. When you look at the circle of those who surround the king or leader - among them you will always find the sycophants who are there to get what they can from the king. They offer their friendship . . . for a price. What the leader finds in the end is that this person was not really their friend. Unfortunately for the king, this is only learned when trouble comes - or when the king no longer can give the person what they want. So what kind of person is the king's friend? First we learn that he is a person who loves purity of heart. The term purity here was often used to describe the condition of being "clean" in Israel. This was a pretty strict definition - and thus it describes someone who is pure to a very high standard. When used of a person's heart, it referred to someone who was morally pure - as well as ethically pure. Since it refers to the condition of someone's heart - it speaks of someone who has wonderful morals, wonderful ethics, and whose thoughts and intents were as pure as the driven snow. The king gravitates to this kind of person because of that purity of heart. This is a person who would never be the king's friend for the ride. If he chose to befriend the king - it would be because he wanted to be the friend of the man - who just happened to be the king. That purity of heart would be such a comfort to someone who could give you so much. Most likely, this pure-hearted man would refuse the king's gifts and honors - choosing instead to simply be the king's friend - not the king's benefactor. It is interesting that among the many named as those who surrounded David, one man, Hushai the Archite, was simply known as the king's friend. He befriended David just because he wanted to be David's friend. Hushai the Archite was an interesting man. We only hear of him twice in Scripture. in 1 Chronicles he is simply referred to as the king's friend. The other place we learn of him is in 2 Samuel 15-17. We see him meeting David as David reaches the top of the Mount of Olives after David has had to leave the throne due to being deposed by his son, Absalom. He arrives with his coat torn and with dust on his head. Here was a friend who stuck with David in the very worst of times. Sometimes the king will only know his true friends when he is deposed. Hushai was one of those friends who did not care whether David was king or not - he was still his friend. But when David faced such horrific circumstances, Hushai was there grieving with him through it all. But Hushai's friendship went far deeper - and endured even more challenges. David asked him to return to the city and act as Absalom's servant - to thwart the counsel of Ahithophel. This was dangerous to say the least, because as soon as Absalom sees him - he notes that this was his father's friend. He even chides him for being a poor friend, turning on David in his hour of need. At that moment Absalom could have had Hushai killed or imprisoned. But Hushai went - and served David well. He did thwart the counsel of Ahithophel - and later alerted David to get over the Jordan for safety even if they possilby did follow Ahithophel's advice. Here was a true friend, willing to risk his life to protect his friend. The other factor in being the king's friend was that you needed to have speech that was gracious. There are times when I wish we would translate Hebraisms directly - because I think they paint a much more powerful picture for us. The Hebraism here literally says, "and who has grace on his lips." What a great picture this paints of how this man speaks. He speaks the truth - but does so with plenty of grace. That is the kind of friend the king needs. He needs someone who will tell him the truth - but will do so with much grace as he does so. Too many around the king simply tell him what he wants to hear. They become suck-ups who are too busy trying to woo the king's favor. But a true friend will both speak the truth to us - but will also speak with much grace in what he or she says. Here is the friend of the king - with a pure heart and with grace on his lips. As we look at him closer, we should see here not just a fitting friend for the king, but in all honesty - a fitting friend for anyone! This description fits what we should want in a friend period. May God be gracious to us and allow us to find such a friend in our lifetime. If we do find one - we should thank God for them - and - be such a friend to them as well.
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Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend, And do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away. Proverbs 27:10
Loyalty is an interesting thing - and something that is not as prevelant in our day. Too often we don't really know who is living around us - and far too many of us don't have a group of "go-to" friends who will be there for us no matter what. A wise man knows the value of true friends - and does not abandon them throughout all of life. Here we see that Solomon tells his son to be a loyal friend. Don't forsake your own friend - or even your father's friend. There are blessings that come to us when we have long term friends. They are there with us in the good and the bad in our lives. The book of Ecclesiastes tells us that two are better than one - because they have a good return for their labor. Two when laying down can keep each other warm - and when someone falls - it is always a blessing to have someone to help you to get up off the ground and back on your way. But then Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, "But woe to the man who has no one to pick him up when he falls." In closing we read that a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Here is why it is good to maintain a loyalty to your friends - and even the friends of your parents. You need people in your life to help make it strong. This is especially the case when you fall and have difficult times in your life. Having close friends is essential in a society where we don't stay close to family any longer. The strand ot three cords often cannot include close family - because we don't live close to them any longer. That is why Solomon tells us that a neighbor who is near is better than a brother who is far away. When tragedy and trouble strike - they often do so without warning. In those moments we need someone who can come quickly to our side and offer us comfort and encouragement. That is the moment when you need the neighbor who is near. But those kinds of relationships have to be cultivated over time - and that requires both effort and time. The onset of the television, the internet, and the world where videos and games dominate our time - has led to the lack of skills that are necessary to build long-term friendships - and much necessary fellowship. We may be able to get an awesome score on whatever Mario game is popular today - or on Halo with some guy from Europe who plays online with us as we attack our imaginary enemies - but we don't seem to be able to walk next door and invite a neighbor over for a meal. As a result we have multitudes of acquaintenences - but very few close friends. As a result, we have weak support systems. We are not a strand of three cords. Too often we are a single strand just making it in our everyday lives. Take the time to make - and keep - close friends. You probably won't truly appreciate all that they can bring to your life until the moment when you need a neighbor close - rather than a brother far away. I do not think Solomon is being disrespectful to family. Family will always come to your aid - at least that was the way I was reared. But . . . my closest family member is 6.5 hours away. Therefore I need a neighbor who is near in times of trouble. They have been there when I needed them. And their value to me cannot be measured in dollars and cents. But it can be measured in comfort and encouragement! He who keeps the law is a discerning son, But he who is a companion of gluttons humiliates his father. Proverbs 28:7
Here is an interesting proverb for us. In it we find comments about discernment, the Law, gluttons, and the way we represent our families, our fathers in particular. Yet, all of it boils down to how we maintain a relationship with the Word of God. The entire proverb hinges on the first statement. Here we see a son who "keeps the law." What is it that this son is doing? The word for keep is the Hebrew "natsar" and it means that he guards the Word in his life. He does this by living a life that seeks to obey the Word. He also is seeking to preserve the Word and its effects in his life. He does this by hiding the Word in his heart - keeping it in his mind - and realizing that the Word (here the law) is entrusted to him. Thus he wants to "maintain" a relationship with God's Word. This is more than just a casual relationship that this son wants to maintain with the Word. He is longing to protect the way that the Word impacts his life - desiring to maximize it as well! Because of this - the Word says that this son is discerning. When we have this kind of ongoing relationship with God's Word - we are putting ourselves in line to being someone with a fair amount of discernment from God. But why is this the case? There is an inherent blessing that comes to us when we "keep the Word" in our lives. Think about the practices that this involves. We have a mindset that wants to guard obedience to the Word and what God has said to us today. We take the time to memorize and meditate on the Word each day. In the end the Word begins to fill our minds and our thoughts. We find our thinking processes being transformed by what God says - and we consider what He says as worth guarding and protecting in our lives. As a result when things happen in this young man's life - he filters it through the Word. He asks fascinating questions like, "Will this please God," or "Am I glorifying God while doing this?" He wants to see all of his actions and attitudes agree with what the law says. He sees it not just as a "have to" situation - but because his heart has worked to keep the law near - it becomes a "want to" one as well. This young man will experience the blessing of discernment. He will have that ability to look at two things that differ - and see the difference in light of the law of God. He will be able to discern what pleases God and what displeases Him - what delights His heart and what breaks it. What is even better is that he learns to choose what delihts the heart of his Father! The contrary of this thought is really interesting. The opposite is a son who humiliates his father by being a companion of gluttons. OK - didn't see that one coming when I read the first part of this - but let's take a few moments to break it down and discern wisdom. First something indirect we should notice. If this young man's activities an companionship humiliates his father - it must mean that the father was actively seeking to teach him differently. Dad was wanting his son to have the law as a guidepost for his son. He was teaching and training his son to be a young man who could discern God's will through His law. Thus we come to an interesting question for fathers. Are you training your sons to be discerning young men who approach all in this world with the Word of God as a filter and a guide? That is not the main point here - but it is one that is implied. The main point here though is that the son who is a companion of gluttons will humiliate his father. A couple of things that a wise man knows. First he knows that those whom he chooses to be his companions matters. If he makes the wrong choices about those who are his friends - he will be harmed by it. Bad company corrupts good morals. Godless companions will bring about a godless lifestyle in the end. Minister to the godless - but let your companions be those who honor God and who desire to obey His Word. Who are these "gluttons?" The Hebrew word is "zalal" which means to be vile, frivilous, gluttonous, or worthless. The word was used in Deuteronomy 21:20 to describe a son who is worthless in his character and gluttonous. A similar word was used to those who drank too much. It is the opposite of what is useful, valuable, or precious. This is the word used to describe the foolish son's friends and companions. They are definitely bad characters - whose character is bad. They give themselves to excess (thus the word gluttony) and the excess that they embrace is an excess of godlessness and worthless things. Since this word is set over against the son who watches and keeps God's law - the companions of the foolish son are overindulgent in their appetites for evil. They are godless - and they take their godlessness to the extreme. The son who keeps company with such men will humiliate his father. He will live the life of a profligate - giving himself to the same excess of the flesh and the world that they do. He will embrace the godlessness - and in so doing will break the heart of his father. There is good news in all this though. Jesus spoke of a son who embraced these kind of companions - and who demanded his inheritance so that he could pay for all the wickedness that money could buy. His father allowed him to walk away - rich yet very stupid. His father, I'm sure, was humiliated by his son's godless conduct. But in this story - the prodigal son wound up wishing he could eat the food that he was feeding to the pigs. He decided that his godless lifestyle had brought him little joy - and much sorrow and disgrace. As he returned home to beg forgiveness - and offer himself as a slave to his father - he experienced an astounding thing. His father had been praying and waiting for his return. When the father saw this prodigal son, he ran to him and embraced him. What we learn from this is that even a foolish son who shames his father - is loved by the Father. He is watching ahd waiting for his return. Though his actions shamed Him - the Father still loved his son - and rejoiced when he returned. Wisdom tells us to steer clear of godless companions. But even though many of us ignore this and walk headlong into sin and wickedness - the Father still waits and watches. He works so as to bring His wayward sons home. Those who come and see the radical difference living for Christ makes - embrace the wisdom of turning to God and finding grace and mercy ready to run to them when they arrive in repentance toward God. So, even if you have been a fool with your companions - and have been corrupted as a result - know that God loves you and is willing to forgive and restore! Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man's counsel is sweet to his friend. Proverbs 27:9
A man is blessed if he has friends who offer him godly counsel. When you have this you have something that both makes life sweet as well as fulfilling. To better understand this proverb we need to look at the oriental purposes for oil and perfume. The word oil here is the Hebrew "shemen" which means fat - and it was the equivalent of middle eastern butter in its usage. Shemen would be what a Hebrew Paula Dean would use in all her dishes to make them taste great. Seeing that I am a southerner - I now fully understand that "butter" makes the heart glad. I love how butter makes things taste. To the Hebrew at the time, they knew that this oil mentioned here was what made their food have its distinctive taste. When used properly - it took bland food and helped make it taste wonderful. In the same way, the counsel of a true friend is sweet to us. It makes life "taste" better. When we have the sweet counsel of a good friend - things that may seem bland and boring to do are changed. Having a good friend who counsels me to do the right thing - even though I've done it a thousand times and am bored with it - will help me do it another thousand times. They remind me that doing the godly thing will bring blessing in the end. Oil was also used for medicinal purposes. It was used to promote healing. There are numerous passages in the Scritpures that speak of pouring oil into a wound to soften and to heal it. These oils would have additives in them to help promote healing. How often has the kind and gracious counsel of a friend helped heal a hurt we have had in our lives. This counsel is sweet to us - just like oil is. Finally, Oil is also offered as a cosmetic. For a Hebrew oil was needed because they were in such a dry climate. The oil helped their bodies not become dry, hard, and brittle. I've had godly friends who have helped me be prevented from becoming dry, hard, and brittle in my personal and spiritual life as well. The second thing mentioned here is incense. This refers to the aromatic use of crushed materials which were burned to provide a smoke that perfumed the air. The non-religious use of incense was simply to help the aroma of a tent or other area. The counsel of a friend is like that to us. It just makes things better. To have someone to whom you can talk, bounce ideas and problems off of, and hear sound advice - is to have a life that is easier to live. These people can make "stinky" times in life be much better. There was also a religious use for incense. It was used in the temple on the approach to God. It is compared to the sweet savor of prayer offered in a godly way to Him. Here is where the counsel of a friend is very sweet to a friend. When that counsel is offered in light of prayer (your friend is praying for you) and it is offered with a view to having you in a right relationship with God - that, dear brothers and sisters, is very sweet counsel indeed! The counsel of a godly friend is something we should not be without as we walk in this world. What I find fascinating is a passage in 2 Corinthians 2:13. Paul was experiencing a time of blessed ministry in Troas - an open door for the gospel - yet he wanted to see Titus. There was something about the blessing of this brother - that made Paul leave that fruitful field and look for this brother. Now I know that Paul was discipling several younger brothers like him - but I also think that Paul was missing the blessing of the "oil and incense" ministry of a godly friend and co-worker. That is why a wise man will not take these kind of godly relationships for granted. He will cherish them and thank God for the sweet counsel of a godly man or woman in his life. If you have one of these relationships - praise God for it. If you do not have one - cry out to God and do what is necessary to cultivate it. The blessing it will bring to your live will be of greater value than you know. All the brothers of a poor man hate him; How much more do his friends abandon him! He pursues them with words, but they are gone. Proverbs 19:7
Fair weather friends . . . what are they. The phrase comes from the idea of those who will be with you while the weather is good, meaning that everything is good in your life and you have no problems. But let a storm come into your life - and they abandon you in the midst of it. They are fair weather friends who only want friends who have no problems or needs. That is what our passage in Proverbs addresses today. The brothers of a poor man hate him. The word poor here means to be a person who has very few resources and no standing or influence in society. When a man is poor - and has nothing of this world's goods or things to offer - he is not embraced by very many. Here we read that even his brothers want nothing to do with him. They don't want a "nobody" as their brother or their friend. Those who think this way miss the reality that the poor are rich in faith - a fact they would not have overlooked if they know the Scriptures. The poor and those lacking in power and influence have not fared well over the ages. They are overlooked and under appreciated. Not only does the poor man's brothers hate him - but his friends abandon him. These are the fair weather friends mentioned at the opening of this post. Friends are not to be chosen on the basis of how much money and influence they bring to the table. Unfortunately, that is how men think in the world - and honestly - more than occasionally in the church. The mindset of, "What can you do for me," permeates the choice of friends. A lack of value on things like wisdom and godliness - only add to this bad habit. Though the poor man puruses these fair weather friends with words, they are gone. The idea here is that they just disappear. It is not magic at work - it is just greed and human stupidity. This is truly the saddest when a person plunges into poverty due to problems, sickness, or injury. It is amazing how a series of problems when they come separate your true friends from those who only want something from you. The poor are also abandoned in places of power and influence. This is especially true in the courtroom. Being poor does not exempt you from obeying the laws of our land - but often it means you do not have the kind of representation that money can buy. As a result, the poor often feel jilted by our system of justice because of how the rich can use their money to obtain a better result. There is one place though where the poor can receive justice - they can receive compassion and mercy. That is at the throne of Almighty God. The Bible instructs us that God is not a respecter of persons. It does not matter what you have or don't have. God's justice is blind to those things - and is focused on the truth. He warned His judges not to take bribes from the rich to pervert justice. He also said that He gives grace to the poor - and that the poor and the rich are alike to Him. When the world turns its back on the poor - the Lord will not abandon him. If ever there were a case where money could buy influence it would have been with the rich man and Lazarus. But the lesson we learn from that story is that God metes out justice and mercy with exacting perfection. The rich man was held accountable for his riches and lack of mercy - while the poor man was shown mercy, having faced great difficulties in life. Both will be held to a judgment based on their sins and whether they have been justified by faith - looking to the Messiah as the One who has paid for their sins and given them a standing of righteousness before God. Though a poor man may not have a friend or a brother who will stand with him in this life, if he knows the Lord Jesus Christ . . . he has a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Proverbs 27:5
Indulgence of a problem that needs to be addressed is something that is not the mark of a true friend - or someone who truly loves you. Love by its very nature is always mindful of what is best for the one it loves. Thus true love for another will at times take on the task of open rebuke, rather than hiding ones faults from them. God tells us that open rebuke is necessary. When David was in his sin with Bathsheba, Nathan was sent to him with an open rebuke - a correction that he needed. To leave David without such a confrontation would have been very harmful to his future. There are times when someone is doing something dangerous that they must be confronted. The world calls such things interventions, but things do not need to move into dangerous territory for a word of rebuke to be uttered. Sometimes it is good for us to receive such a word - as it can turn us from a wrong path long before things get that difficult. Such a word can bring difficulty if one does not receive the rebuke - but the other option really is not wise. We read that this open rebuke is better than love that is concealed. Too often love is concealed - at least the kind of love that will rebuke and correct. Some dare to call such indulgence love - but when we leave someone in a situation where they continue to offend others (and more importantly they continue offending God) - that is NOT love. When relationships between family, friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ lack mutual discipline and loving correction - their love is weak and ineffectual. There is a forefearance that is nothing more than willing blindness. Such actions leave us with a conscience that continues to be concerned - and too often - tongues that continue wagging behind the scenes about our brother's behavior. Is is not better to pray through the much needed loving rebuke until it is offered? Just a word of caution here as I close today's thought. Offer that loving rebuke - just make sure it is loving. There are those who take a little too much pleasure in giving such rebuke. Our rebuke, if done properly, should have been sandwiched on either side with deeply concerned prayer. Prayer on the front end so that we will be received and will be wise and gracious in offering our rebuke. Prayer on the back end of things is offered because we desire the work of the Holy Spirit in helping our loved one change and become more Christlike. When done this way we cannot guarantee no offense - but oh how the numbers of offended ones drop. If you have a loved one, a friend who needs a loving correction - take the time to "show" that you truly love them. This is done as you pray and cry out to God for His work in this process - and you gently and humbly go to them. You go desiring that they change - not to your liking - but in response to the call of God upon them to walk a holy, godly life. Many will seek the favor of a generous man, And every man is a friend to him who gives gifts. Proverbs 19:6
Before I went on my recent diet I must confess that I was a somewhat regular visitor to a local donut shop. While visiting there I saw part of this proverb fulfilled on a regular basis. I would watch well dressed businessmen come in and buy two dozen donuts of various types and then head out for their important appointment. Now I do not think these businessmen were donut freaks - they were just using the donuts to gain access to a customer. Every man is a friend to him who gives gifts - especially when those gifts are donuts early in the morning. Some proverbs are meant to help us understand human nature. This is one of them. The fact is that many men will seek the favor of a generous man. The word for "generous" here means more than just someone who is giving. It also means a noble man - one born of nobility - which also usually means a wealthy man - and one connected in such a way that he has power. The simple fact of life is that many will seek this man's favor because of what he offers to them. This is why people in high positions should be careful about those who are courting their favor. It is a very rare thing for people in these kind of positions to find people who want nothing from them but friendship. The man who gives gifts will have many friends. But - there is a flip side to this as well. If you have the majority of your friends because of how generous you are - be careful to seek to court true friends in the midst of them. When the gifts cease often so does their friendship. That is why you want no only to be generous toward others - but also discerning. Generous because it is a good thing to learn to be generous toward others - but discerning as well because you also want to know who are real friends are in life. In the end - they will be the ones who will stick with you no matter what your bottom line is - or what your gifts will help to make theirs. Wealth adds many friends, But a poor man is separated from his friend. Proverbs 19:4
There are proverbs that God gives us that are just statements of truth. They are not meant to be approving of what is said - just a simple statement of what will be true in this fallen world. What we learn from them is often discerned as we seek the Lord. Today's proverb is one of these. Wealth adds many friends. What a loaded statement. When a man is wealthy he has many friends. Ask anyone who has ever won a lot of money - they will tell you that suddenly friends come out of the woodwork. Watch the rich and famous sports figure - he has an entourage of friends who follow him and do his bidding wherever he goes. The word used for friend in the Hebrew is a very general word which can mean anything from a close friend or lover - to someone who is only an aquaintance. For the wealthy man, the trick is to know which is which. He will have those who become his friend because he is rich and the know they will live well when around him. These are the sycophants and human leaches of society. They are around when you are doing well and when gifts flow freely. When this flow stops - or the promise of some payback no longer is there - they are gone. The second half of this proverb is telling. A poor man is separated from his friend. The word for poor man here is very interesting. It is the Hebrew word, "dal," which means to be poor or weak. these are people who are on the opposite social scale from the rich. The emphasis here is on their poverty and their weakness. Keil and Delitzsch describe this word as meaning reduced, or as "one who has fallen into a tottering condition, who has no resources, and who possesses no means. This man is in the process of being reduced. He may have had wealth - or at least enough - but due to his circumstances and problems he is now being reduced. His condition has become one of a tottering man who is in the process of going down - of falling. This is the man who is separated from his friend. Unfortunately he has fair-weather friends who are around for the ride - who are a friend because of what they "get" from the relationship. Once things start going down - this kind of friend makes himself or herself scarce. This is a lousy friend - and we are being warned here that such friends exist in our world. What we should learn from this passage is that friends come and go - at least some friends do. The true friend is the one who sticks around even when we are being "reduced." Scripture tells us that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. There are those who stay with us even when we are at our lowest and most vulnerable. If you have a friend like this - thank God for him or her - because such friends are not abundant in a fallen world where most are more concerned about themselves than about those around them. Lastly, we should realize that Christ is the ultimate friend. We were absolutely reduced by sin and by our fallen nature. There was NOTHING attractive or alluring about us in God's sight - yet the Lord loved us. We read in Romans 5:8 that "God demonstrated His own love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Christ is our absolute friend. He loved us while we were in rebellion against Him. In this world we will have friends that disappoint us. But take heart because in the Lord Jesus Christ you have a friend that will never leave you or forsake you. When you have no other friend to turn to - you are still not alone - turn to Him for comfort and for encouragement. He will always be there regardless of whether you are rich . . . or reduced. Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. Proverbs 25:11
There are certain people who know just what to say at the perfect moment. Something needs desperately to be said and they are the ones who usually say it. Whether you know it or not, it is wisdom that gives them the ability to say these kinds of things. Like apples of gold in settings of silver. Now there is something that is worth a little. You can imagine this artwork as not only being beautiful to the eye - but also of amazing wealth as well. It is the kind of thing one would hang on a wall as a decoration, but would also have listed as a very valuable asset too. This is equated to how very valuable a word spoken just at the right time is. This statement speaks of how appropriate words used just at the right moment in time can be invaluable to someone. We see Jesus doing this again and again in His life. When attacked by the Pharisees and Saducees with a question they think is unanswerable without incrimination, Jesus speaks the perfect word at the perfect time. This kind of ability and skill is a wonderful thing to have when counselling or when offering comfort to those who are hurting or have just lost a loved one. In order to be able to say these kinds of things we need to have an ear open in two directions. First, we need to have our ears open to God. He is the One who can give us the perfect thing to say - because He is the One who can see into every heart and know just what to say. Knowing and being able to communicate God's Word in one-on-one situations is such a blessing to those who receive it. But to know these kinds of statements, we must walk close to God. Second, we need to have our ears open to those around us. Far too many people are never able to speak these kinds of words, because they don't even know that others around them need to hear them. So preoccupied are they with their own trials and troubles - or honestly with their own desires - that they don't hear the hearts of those who are struggling and in desperate need of a word of encouragement and edification. James encourages us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. That kind of wisdom will allow us to hear others - to hear their hurts and their problems - so that we can apply the Word of God in a way that brings healing and grace to them. It will be then that we can offer these apples of gold in settings of silver to those around us who desperately need to hear more than just words - they need to hear the right words - the perfect words for their circumstances. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6
Which would you rather have - wounds or kisses? Without more information, just about anyone would answer kisses. Yet when this proverb is through with us, we might want to rethink our answer. What exactly is a "faithful wound?" To be faithful here means to provide stability and patience. The faithful wound of a friend will help us be built up, supported, nurtured, and established. How could a wound do that? Well, we are speaking of a wound of a friend - not a wound on a battlefield. Our friends wound us when they know that difficult words must be said. They don't take any pleasure in wounding us. Unfortunately they see the need for a difficult statement - a correction - a word of warning about something they see in our lives. They say it to prevent problems not cause them. They see that the wound is necessary in the short term - becuase greater damage will result in the long term without it. So they speak - risking misunderstanding - risking offence - risking making us angry. Yet they see that not speaking - not wounding would be even worse. In fact, not speaking would be the most unfriendly thing they could do. The kisses are those of an enemy . . . enough said. But it might help us to see how they are described. An enemy gives only deceitful kisses. Thus we learn right off the bat that we cannot trust actions alone - the outward can be deceitful. As God says often - the issue is the heart. The word "deceitful" actually means to be multiplied. It actually speaks of someone who does more - or does bigger - or does more numerously than normal. Thus the deceitful person over does it in order to cover the lying nature of his or her actions. So what can we learn from this proverb? First we can learn that when someone is giving us far more affection and congratulation than normal, we might want to be careful about basking in their adulation - it might be deceitful in nature. It might have ulterior motives behind it. Second, we also need to learn to accept the wounds of our friends as gifts rather than grating comments that get on our nerves. This is one time where it is better to receive a wound than a kiss. For the kiss may only be a prelude to something far worse, while the wound is given only for the purpose of blessing us in the end. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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