Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. Proverbs 23:22
I have numerous times been asked the question of when a young person should stop obeying their parents. Many think that just because our laws state that a person is an adult when they are 18 that they have the luxury of no longer obeying their parents. I honestly see no such statement made by Scripture. I believe a child no longer needs to obey his parents when he or she is married. Once that has taken place the child no longer is beholden to do what his parents say. But, one wise thing a person should always do is to listen to their parents - even when they are old. That is because they are an excellent source of wisdom. Our society does not do much to honor the aged among us. Ours is a youth culture - and we value youth, beauty, and strength. Nowadays we see the older among us as people who tend to get in our way as they talk about the past - or they offer decidedly outdated advice from days gone by. Before I put that on anyone else - I will have to admit that I have been infected by those concepts over the years. I have noticed that much of the good advice that I was given by my parents - and by those much older than me would have blessed me and kept me from problems if I had listened and heeded it. Here we see Solomon telling his son to listen to his father. The natural flow of life should be for a father to offer godly advice to his son. This should be easy for the son to receive because of the committment that he has seen over the years from his father. The son knows that the father has nothing in mind except the very best for his son. Having seen this over the course of his lifetime, the son has no great difficulty listening and even following his father's advice. It is astounding how smart our parents get when we have children of our own and begin being responsible for the financial decisions and family decisions that map out for us our future. In those hours we realize that we would joyfully listen to advice and counsel given from our father and mother. The second thing Solomon says to his son is for him not to despise his mother when she is old. The word for despise here means to hold someone in contempt and scorn. The one who acts this way is disrespectful to his mother. I think the reason we are counselled that wisdom is NOT to scorn or hold you mother in contempt is because mothers will speak the truth to you. They will always have that mother's instinct to protect and care for their children. But as children get older, they can come to resent this in their mom. Yet the wise son would never disrespect or dishonor his mom. He would listen to her - even when she is mothering him a little. The wise son realizes that this woman has loved him his entire life - and wants only the very best for him. We may not have to obey our parents once we are married - but a wise man never stops listening to what they have to say. And if the parents are wise, they will choose their words and their disagreements wisely so that their children are able to hear all that they have to say. This is the way that the relationship between parent and adult child can flourish - to the blessing of both parties.
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The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7
How can someone start on the road to becoming wise? If we asked that question of 100 people, we might get some similarity in their answers, but if we did not know this verse at the beginning of Proverbs, we probably would not choose fearing God as one of those answers. The beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord. We will not gain any kind of true knowledge of ultimate reality until we do. There are a great number of truly smart men (in earthly terms) and yet many of them reject God - at least they reject the God of the Bible. Smart they may be - but when it comes to eternal matters - they are dumb as stumps. Their great learning in human endeavors has made them arrogant and unwilling to bend their knee before the One True God. The man who thinks he knows something - most likely does not yet know as he should. Human learning manifests itself in pride. Paul told us under the inspiriation of the Holy Spirit, "Knowledge puffs up . . . " That is something that is dangerous in the most deadly way. When we think we truly know something - we don't yet know anything. For all their supposed knowledge, these scholars are facing a horrific future. They will continue in this age as sage, wise men - only to learn that it is the fool who says there is no God. They will be praised as men of great insight - only to find that all their genius has done nothing to save them from the wrath of God. Never have they trembled before the majesty and glory of God. Never have they seen the universe rightly - as His creation and as a testiment to His vastness and infinite nature. Never have they considered that if we are moral beings, we must have been created by a moral Being - before Whom we will have to stand and to Whom we will have to give an account. The fear of God is the beginning of knowledge becuase as creator, all things have their origin in Him. Without a healthy respect and fear of God, we will ultimately give ourselves over to our own foolish pride - and lift ourselves to an unhealthy level in our own thinking. That can end only in disaster at the throne of God's judgment. God is in heaven, we are on earth - therefore we should tremble in His presence. To fear God means that we recognize Him as supreme and absolute. If God is a mere concept - a thought - He is nothing more than a mere jump between synapses in our brain. But if He is real - then He is the most powerful, most wise, glorious being that ever has and ever will be. His power and glory are unexplainable - for they are incomprehensible. As such, we tremble before Him for He is ultimately in power and will remain so for all eternity. Until we know and grasp this - we are mere brutish fools walking upon the earth. Part of our problem with this word knowledge is that we've divorced it from the biblical context. We have come to view knowledge as the mere storing of facts as man sees them. This is not what God refers to when he says that the fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge. The word used here is "daath" and it means not just a storing of facts, but an ability to know to where we can practice discernment, insight, and an experiential knowledge and experience of something - or in this case, Someone. Just knowing a bunch of facts and being able to manipulate them on earth so that it impresses other humans - is something akin to being able to juggle a set of balls well. Nice trick - but what exactly is it worth in the end? The knowledge we speak of in Proverbs 1 is that of knowing God - and being able to see things like He does so that we have a discernment that will aid us for eternity. That only comes when we see God accurately - and then in the light of His glory - see the world accurately for the first time in our lives. Until that moment arrives in a man's heart - he is and will always be a fool. We are told on the back-end of this proverb that fools despise wisdom and instruction. Here is the value of knowledge - it makes us wiser and teachable. The fool who rejects God despises His wisdom. Since God is all-knowing and all-encompassing, He is the ultimate source of knowledge. If one wants to get it right - go to Him. If one is unwilling to go to Him (as the wicked admit they are) that one is actually despising wisdom and instruction. He only wants to exalt his own thinking and the activity of his own mind. Since He is utterly limited compared to an infinite God - well - he is stupid. He hates seeing the full picture in favor of his utterly parochial view. He despises discerning the best since the only thing he considers best is his own view. He is unwilling to be instructed by the One will absolute knowledge - thus he rejects the greatest Teacher anyone can imagine. In every way - his lack of respect, honor, and fear toward God is evidenced by his unwillingness to sit at God's feet and learn from Him. So how do we grow in knowledge and wisdom? It is by first acknowledging that God is ultimate in knowledge, in wisdom, in everything! Then it is by humbling ourselves and learning to tremble in the presence of the One Who is Lord and God. Then and only then can our minds and hearts be opened to receive the wisdom, the instruction, and the knowledge of God. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Proverbs 9:8
Wisdom manifests itself in how we receive reproof. Here we see two people who experience reproof or correction. How they respond to that reproof has everything to do with whether they are a fool or whether they are wise. First we see a person who is called a scoffer. The word "scoffer" means one who boasts, scorns, mocks, or derides another. The reason that the scoffer does this is to express utter contempt of the person or comment that has been made to him. The context for the scoffers utter contempt is that of having someone reprove him. When he faces correction he reacts with complete disdain for the one who has offered the correction. To emphasize his disgust for the person who has tried to offer correction or constructive criticism, we read that this scoffer will hate them. There are those who bristle immediately to any correction or reproof offered to them. This indicates that they are indeed a fool. To say that one does not need any correction is to say that one is perfect. It is indeed a sad thing to watch someone who thinks in their own mind that they are the manifestation of perfection itself. They are above criticism - because everything they do and everything they say is without flaw. First of all this is the highest form of arrogance and pride. We all make mistakes and have flaws. When someone offers us correction - whether constructive or not - it is an opportunity for us to embrace humility and see ourselves improve. Second, when we reject correction, we are saying that we ourselves are the judge of what is right and wrong. The fool rejects any evaluation of himself - and chooses his own horrifically flawed and prejudiced view of himself as truth. That is the only way he or she can be deceived enough to think that they are above criticism. Finally, the fool who rejects correction is actually rejecting love. It is love that often motivates people to correct us. That is the motivation of loving parents and others who only desire us to succeed and prosper. It is the motivation of God who desires us to be a partaker of His righteousness. But the fool who rejects all this - rejects the very ones who love him the most. The wise man loves the one who reproves him. He understands that someone who is reproving him is not against him, but for him. This word reprove means to argue and convince, and was used to speak of those who would "prove" something. We need to see this word in this way because "proving" something was done by submitting it to the heat of a crucible - for the purpose of refining it. This was done only for one of two reasons. You proved something either to make it more valuable - or to make it stronger. The scoffer sees reproof as an attack - or as inaccurate information being used to hurt him. The wise man sees the reproof as something positive. He is being refined so that impurities are removed from his life. He is being refined so that weaknesses are taken out. He is being refined to be even more valuable in the Lord's work. He is being refined to be more valuable to God's kingdom and people. The reproof is making him stronger - better - richer. As he receives the reproof this way - the correction does its work - and he is blessed as a result. It is not fun or pleasant to be reproved or corrected. If it was - everyone would want it all the time in their lives. The fool looks at reproof only through eyes that see the negative. He is too focused on his own comfort and his own ego being protected at all costs. The wise man looks beyond the possible unpleasantness of the moment. He sees the value of refining and the blessing of having potentially harmful things removed from this character. He knows the benefit of this experience will far outweigh its problems and difficulties. If we want to be wise, we too will begin to love those who reprove us and help us to become more Christlike - and of greater use to our Master. Apply your heart to discipline And your ears to words of knowledge. Proverbs 23:12
This is a simple admonition here in Proverbs - and yet if we will look at it carefully, it will yield to us some very helpful information. The first thing we see is that we are to apply our heart to discipline. The word "apply" here means, "to bring to" - thus what God is saying to us is that we need to bring our hearts to something. Here we read that what we bring our hearts to is discipline. The word discipline is "musar" which means to instruct with discipline. It refers most often to the discipline given by a father - both by word and by the rod. It is very easy when discipline is applied to us for us to not allow it to reach the heart. We may hear the words - and receive the correction - but we do not bring our hearts to it. True correction and discipline is for the heart - not the bottom. It might be applied to the rear end with the rod - but the aim in these things needs to be directly to the heart. Those who protest the use of the rod see the issue being striking a child - and they see it as evil in all circumstances. But the godly parent is not aiming for the rear end alone. They want to instruct with their discipline. They want their words and their use of the rod to affect the heart of the child. If you have their heart - in the end you will truly change their behavior. What Solomon is saying though, is for the one receiving the discipline. Apply your heart to what God is trying to teach you. If you are like me - there are times when you bristle at discipline. It is not pleasant to have God apply the rod to us. It is not a delightful thing for us to be corrected and rebuked. But when God grants us discipline it is only for our best interests. We can be absolutely assured of this. Therefore we need to train ourselves to receive it joyfully - gratefully - and educationally. If we do, maybe we won't need a second dose of discipline to complete the job for us. The second admonition here is that we also apply our ears to words of knowledge. Knowledge here refers to more than just head-learning. Solomon is telling us about a knowing of God and His ways. He refers to a working knowledge - a practical knowledge - intimate knowledge - knowledge that truly changes the way we act. The verb "apply" is assumed here - thus we are told to bring our ears to this knowledge that God is seeking to give us. It is more than just hearing it - it is concentrated listening. It is listening to learn and to apply it to one's life. This is key to us becoming wise. If we will truly bring our hearts and ears to what God is seeking to communicate to us, we will be blessed greatly. God longs for us to be wise and to know and follow Him with all our hearts. These two practices - bringing our hearts to times of discipline - and bringing our ears to hear obediently what God says to us - will assure that we grow and personally experience all the godliness that God desires to give us when He works and speaks in our lives. POSTSCRIPT: Recently, individuals have quoted articles from this section and stated that we teach child abuse at Calvary Chapel Jonesboro. To this I feel the need to respond. First, biblically, we are told that if we have a problem with our brother to go to our brother - not the internet - and confront our brother. To date, these individuals have yet to contact me to discuss these things. That should say volumes in itself. Second, we do not teach child abuse at our fellowship. This blog is an endeavor to teach what is in the Bible for the edification and upbuilding of God's people. Anyone who has been to our fellowship knows that in our classrooms we administer NO physical discipline. We correct with words and with "time outs" and eventually with a report to parents. From our nursery throughout every age group our people are instructed NEVER to administer physical discipline. We believe this right alone belongs to a parent. Even then we teach the following about any application of physical discipline. Discipline is about the heart of a child. Physical or corporal punishment is ONLY to be administered in a spirit of love for the child. Teaching and loving verbal correction is key - as is prayer for the child's eventual salvation in Jesus Christ. Any physical punishment administered due to anger or rage is out of line and wrong. The parent is to discipline the child with appropriate discipline - not abuse. In the end the child should be taught - and in every circumstance hugged, loved, and prayed with after any physical punishment to assure them of our love. The idea of a "beating" is completely out of step with what the Scriptures are teaching. Instead the idea of loving discipline is intended. My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof. For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:11-12
One of the surest signs that you are maturing in the Lord and gaining wisdom is by seeing how you are resounding to discipline and correction in your life. Correction is something no one takes easily. First of all it requires that we admit that we are wrong. This requires humility. This is a character trait that is not abounding in our lives since the fall. This is why we are told here not to reject the discipline of God. We are told this because we are likely to just reject discipline automatically. One of the most important lessons I ever received from the man who disciples me was that I needed to consider it kindness when a godly man rebuked me. He taught me to take a moment and consider what was said to me rather than just rejecting it out of hand. Some of the best lessons I've ever learned were due to the rebuke of a godly person who loved me enough to speak the truth to me when I needed it most. We are also told here not to loathe God's reproof. The only reason I loathe reproof is because of the pride in my heart that makes me think I am always right. You would think I would be delighted for God, Who cannot err, to correct me and keep me from making mistakes that could harm me. Unfortunately I annuli fled with pride and foolishness to listen to Him and actually choose being wrong rather than admitting to my error and learning from Him. Solomon has the wisdom here to appeal to his son from a human standpoint. He tells his own son that God reproves and disciplines those He loves. ThenLord doesn't discipline us out of some power trip. He does this because He loves us. Remember that the next time you are being disciplined. God is working this way in your life because He loves you. This verse it quoted in Hebrews 12 and we are informed that God is disciplining us because He wants us to share in His holiness. God is incapable of acting wrongly and therefore we need to see that even His discipline is for our ultimate good. The final words that Solomon offers to his son are supposed to remind him that earthly fathers discipline thir sons because they delight in them. A father looks at his son and sees the potential of what he catn be. As he disciplines the child, it is only in hope of what his child can become if he ultimately follows the Lord with all of His heart. The father takes delight in his son or daughter as he or she walks with the Lord. Disciplne and correction is the way of life itself. If we learn how to receive it from God and from those He sends to us we will be blessed greatly. So learn to receive discipline and correction, especially from God. He loves you and only is working toward your best interests when He does. A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, Proverbs 1:5
When does a person stop learning in life? According to Proverbs, only an unwise man stops learning. A truly wise man will hear things throughout his entire life and will continue learning from what he hears. Here in verse 5 of chapter 1 of Proverbs we see that in the opening statement of Proverbs a lifetime of learning is what the wise man embraces. The fool is the one who thinks he knows everything. He walks about in life thinking he has learned all he needs to learn. But it is a fact of life that we will never learn a billionth of all there is for us to know. Were we to spend a thousand lifetimes doing nothing but learning - we would only scratch the surface of all that there is to know in the universe - let alone know all there is to know about God. Therefore we should always be listening, studying, and opening our minds to learn as much as we can. Only this way can we ever hope to have a heart of wisdom. When the wise man hears the words of Solomon - and more importantly the Word of God - he hears. Note it does not say that he listens - for many listen but don't actually hear what is being said. The wise man hears what is said and allows it to sink deep within his heart. When he does so he increases in learning. The word for learning here is very interesting. It is "leqah" and it means learning or insight. The idea behind this word is not just gathering a group of facts. It refers to when a person has insight due to the facts that they know. Spiritual education requires that we know the facts - but it goes far beyond that. Spiritual education leads someone to be able to have insight - to be astute to what God is doing and saying. It means we are able to discern between good and evil - between knowing God and not knowing Him. When we increase in learning we are not just increasing in the amount of knowledge we have. We are increasing in our ability to walk with God and discern all things from His standpoint. The second half of the Proverb points this out to us. It tells us that a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. When we hear and learn - we will also gain understanding and wisdom. We hear and are able to distinguish the difference between things - between choices - between outcomes. We understand the truth - and can apply the truth to every situation of our lives. In doing this we acquire the counsel of wisdom from God. The Lord makes Himself known to us - and knowing Him makes all the difference in the world. We see things differently - and definitely make different choices. A good question to ask ourselves is whether we are just gathering information - or we are gaining a greater insight and ability to make godly choices in life. If we constantly hear what God is saying to us in His Word, in the circumstances of our lives, and through the godly counsel of others, we will increase in our ability to discern and see things as God sees them. "THAT" will do wonderful things in helping us make good choices all day long - and over the course of our lives. A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. Proverbs 14:6
It is interesting in our day to see how many mock the things of God. The large number of best sellers that mock the existance of God and the morality and truth of His Word is a little shocking to the general public - but for those who know the Word - just another proof that we live in a fallen world that rejects God and therefore rejects truth. The scoffers present themselves as seekers of knowledge. They paint themselves as the wise among us - and as those who are trying desperately to turn the ignorant masses away from God and away from seeing God's Word as anything more than an old, archaic, rotting document that no longer deserves our attention. But, no matter how much these mockers present themselves as wise - they are anything but wise in the end. They may seek wisdom - but they will find none. The one prerequisite of wisdom is what they lack. We read in a myriad of places that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom - and that is what these individuals lack - any fear of the Lord. Their mocking shows that they consider themselves to be the ultimate resource of wisdom and understanding - which honestly - makes them fools. They will not humble themselves and admit that they are not the repository of all things wise. They are so filled with pride that they will not admit their own ignorance and lack of perfect knowledge. They not only don't know what is going on in perfect detail on the remotest planet in the universe - they are not even aware of its existance! Yet they have the arrogance to say that unequivically there is no God in the universe. Their scoffing will always keep them from knowledge and wisdom. Only their foolishness will be verified in the end. We are told something wonderful here though. Knowledge is "easy" to him who understands. The concept behind the word "understands" is that this person is teachable. It is not that he already understands all things - but rather than he has a desire to understand all things. His admission of a lack of knowledge is what makes his so marvelously teachable. He longs to better understand things and to know what is true. Therefore he has a very teachable spirit and heart. This makes him a perfect candidate for wisdom. James counsels us that the man who will receive wisdom from God is the very one who says that he does not already have it. Since he doesn't have it - he asks God for it. God loves this man - because he is open to all that God has for Him. The Holy Spirit loves this man because He knows that this man will not resist Him when He comes to teach him truth. Knowledge then becomes easy to this one - because he is wide open to God when He teaches him. He loves receiving things from the Lord - and is longing to be taught - to be instructed - even to be rebuked and corrected. Therefore knowledge becomes something very pleasant to his soul. He is a wise man indeed - because he admits lacking wisdom. But the arrogant scoffer - who exalts his own mind - his own learning - his own egotistic sense that he is always right? That man won't receive anything from God - except an invitation to repent of his arrogance and come to the table to learn from the only One who truly has all wisdom. My guess is that without God's mercy and grace touching his life - he would reject it anyway. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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