She is boisterous and rebellious, Her feet do not remain at home; Proverbs 7:11
What kind of lady do you want to be drawn to in life? For the women who are reading this - What kind of woman do you want to be - or do you want your daughters to become? Hopefully, this passage in Proverbs 7 will have a little bit of wisdom for you today. The woman described here in this verse is the one mentioned in verse 10. This is the adulteress - the woman who dresses as a harlot - and who has her sights set on a very foolish young man who has decided to stray into her web. She is described in three ways in this passage - and I would dare say that these are traits that woman would do well to avoid. First of all we read that she is boisterous. The word for boisterous means to growl, roar, or howl. It means someone who is loud - who is very tumultuous. This is interesting to read because Peter encourages the women in the New Testament to be women whose beauty if from the "inner man of their hearts" (a reference to the fullness of Christ within them) - and adds - a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth to God. (from 1 Peter 3:4) This woman is not either of these things. She is neither quiet or gentle. Her boisterousness manifests itself by the fact that she is out confronting young men - initiating to them. She is out seeking sex and as she does - she is loud and bold in her actions and words. Here we come to an interesting thought. God desires women to be the gentler sex. He sees great worth in a quiet and gentle spirit in a woman. We are not stating that women should never speak - that is a over statement of this principle. It also does not mean a woman cannot laugh or enjoy herself - but that she must be stoic and quiet as a mouse. The passage here and in 1 Peter is saying that a woman ought to have a tranquil heart - and not have to be the center of attention and the life of the party. There is another thing we need to see here. She is not just boisterous - but boisterous and rebellious. Her loudness comes packaged with a rebellious heart as well. She doesn't want to submit to her husband -or to the proper way to carry herself in public. This is evident by the fact that she is seeking an adulterous partner in the streets at night. Most of all she is not willing to submit her life to God and His Word. She desires to run her own life - do her own thing - and say and act however she wants. Men, such a woman is NOT a good woman to marry. Ladies, such a character is NOT wise for you to adopt - and neither is it wise to allow your daughters to be influenced by such women. The third and final description of the adulteress in this verse is that "her feet do not remain at home." This is literal first of all as we watch her leave home and seek out a sexual partner other than her husband. But it is also evident in other aspects of her life. Titus speaks of having the older women teach the younger women to be "workers at home." I'm sure I'll hear about this - but I do not think it is the wisest choice to have women out in the workplace. That will most likely be received as a statement made from the dark ages - but actually it is made from Scripture. The more women have been liberated from this Scriptural principle - the more they have actually been enslaved to the problems that come from it. Women's liberation movements have tried to tell us that a woman should abandon her maternal instincts and leave home to do what men do. The results of this social experimentation have been nothing short of disastrous. As women have embraced being like men - they have also encountered the sins of men as well. It has helped to disintigrate the family and the institution of marriage. When a woman's feet do not remain at home - the protection the Scripture speaks of will be lost to them. I know that I've said some pretty controversial things today. Most likely I'll get some pretty negative comments from this posting. But the facts of Scripture are the facts. Boisterousness, rebelliousness, and women who leave home to pursue their own agenda are not those who are held up and honored in Scripture. I'm not saying that all women who are this way will end up in adultery. But I am saying that the wise woman reads such a passage and leans heavily to the opposite of such things. May God grant to all those who read this His wisdom to see the role that He has for women in this world. Contrary to what the NOW and other feminist organizations will say, such a role is not demeaning to women. It exalts them to the place of their greatest effectiveness and power. Women who have lived out such lives know this. They know that being a women of godly character, graciousness, and sacrificial love - will bless them - and will bless the many generations that will know the love of a godly mother - a godly wife - a godly woman. May God multiply their number in the church once again in our day!
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My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. Proverbs 1:10
Here we are given an inside seat to a spectacle that takes place every day. This event is when a fool or group of fools approach a person to entice him to join with them in their ungodly schemes. This is something we need to see because as Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, there really is nothing new under the son. Men have tried to get others to join with their gang to do mischief for numerous generations. The lies are pretty much unchanged - and yet they are good to know ahead of time so that we are not taken in by the offers of fools whose only true promise is to get us into serious trouble before everything is over. How young people need to read these words and profit from rejecting them ahead of time. Here a father speaks to his son to warn him against such foolish company - and against their foolish offers to "cut him in on the action." His first instructive comment is to refer to those who do such things as "sinners." What is instructive about this word is the comment made by Zhodiates that this word is used, "to describe those who, by their actions, are under the wrath and judgment of God and face ultimate destruction." In Psalm 104:35 we are told that these folks will be consumed from the earth - and in Isaiah 1:28 that they will be crushed and will come to their end by the hand of God. The father warns that these people will come to "entice" them. They will come with words to try to allure, persuade, and deceive. They want to convince this young man to join with them as they plan to do their evil deeds. This may sound all melodramatic to some who read this - but that is only because the world has done a good job of mocking this kind of talk. They do so by overdramatizing the father or the spiritual guide - making him sound stupid when he warns of such things. Their effectiveness has only dulled the minds of our children to those who truly will come to them with such wicked counsel. In the end they only make it easier for the criminal and harder for the parent or mentor. This father is doing a good thing in warning his son about this kind of interview. His advice to his son is not to consent. In the end the boy is going to have to make a decision on his own. Eventually every child will leave the home and will face temptation to do evil. If we do not instruct them - they will face this without godly counsel on their side. This father does an admirable job of letting his son hear the enticing words ahead of time. But the father does so with additional commentary explaining to his son just where such counsel will lead. Hey dad, let me ask you a question. Are you preparing your son to face these things? Are you taking the time to let him hear the kind of things he is going to be told - and then put them into the context of where they will take him? There is a kind of Christian parenting that is going on today that does not think kids should be exposed to anything that is remotely wrong. I agree with this when it comes to exposing them to such things and encouraging them to do them. But what this godly father is doing is exposing his son to the reality of what wicked men will say to him one day. He is letting his son know the arguments - the offers - the lies that will be told to him. Then he is taking those statements and dismantling them before his son. He does so by showing his son where such lies will lead him. The warning his boy receives is a wise one - and one that we would do well to teach to our own children as well. When we think that placing them into a world without any form of tempation of proposed evil will protect them - we may be deceiving ourselves. One day they won't be with us - and an evil man will approach with his slick lies. What will they do then? Will they know how to stand and resist the lies? Maybe . . . maybe not. The only way we can prepare them for such a day is to teach them by exposing them to what will be said - as well as the sure judgment and destruction that comes with the lifestyle that will result. Like a bird that wanders from her nest, So is a man who wanders from his home. Proverbs 27:8
Birds begin every spring by gathering what is needed to construct a nest. Usually they select a place that they believe will give them protection and shelter. This becomes the location where they then lay eggs and work to build a family. The nest serves as the location of safety and of security. For a bird to leave the nest is dangerous. Note that the term used for this leaving is the word wander. The bird is not flying from the nest for the purpose of hunting or finding food for itself and its young. This bird is just following its own curiosity wandering away from the nest to see what he can see. This indicates that we are probably speaking of the young - because an adult bird knows better than to wander from the nest. There is a word for birds who wander from their nests - prey! They become prey for those who are watching to see if they leave the protection and cover of the nest. They are sitting ducks as they go out from the nest just wandering wherever they go. It is a very dangerous thing to just go wandering away. The picture of a bird wandering from its nest is compared to a man who wanders from his home. Here again is God's wisdom. God establishes the home as the central unit of society. It is also the place where God intends for children to be reared to maturity. There God provides for the child two loving parents who are focused on selflessly giving themselves for this child's good. As long as the child stays within the home (meaning its influence and protection) that child is safe. When the child wanders from that place - he is in danger. But what we have said to us here is not about a child - it is about a man. The man who wanders from his home is like the bird wandering from his nest. What would cause a man to wander from his home? There are many things actually that work toward guiding a man toward this disaster. First is another woman. Many men wander from their home and wind up being involved with a woman who is not their wife. They wander away from their commitment - away from their vows to God and to their bride - and much like the bird wandering from his nest - this man is caught . . . trapped . . . hunted and captured. Sexual immorality and adultery are both strong traps that have destroyed many a man who wandered from the nest of his home and marriage. Another thing that causes men to wander is outside interests that begin to dominate their lives. Please understand I'm not against a man having outside interests like hunting, fishing, sports, cars, motorcyles, or whatever else a guy chooses to pursue. What I warn men against is having pursuits that take them away from the home far too often. Our commitment as a husband and father is to our wives and our children. Anything that takes us away from them - and hinders us from being there for them as we should - is not good. It is another way men "wander" from the nest - and leave themselves (and their families) unprotected. There is more to this than just the damage done to the man who wanders away. When he is in this "wandering" state, his family is left unprotected. His sons are untaught in the things of the Lord - and undirected into God's way by watching and participating with their father in vastly important ways. His daughters are left unprotected - and grow up with a sense that they have to take care of themselves. They face dealing with boys on their own - and since dad has been off acting like a boy - they don't know what a real man looks like. Too often this leads to disaster as sons grow up being boys perennially as they follow the footsteps of a father who leads them there by not growing up himself. Daughters grow up unprotected and wind up going out with and marrying the wrong kind of man. There are truly multiple disasters that come from a man wandering from his home. Men . . . God wants you to be MEN! That means leaving behind boyhood and choosing to be the man God wants you to be in your home. The church and our world desperately needs men like this. We need guys who choose to die to themselves and see more and more as they grow older that life is not about them. They grow up and realize that shirking serious responsibilities in the home and in the church is creating a horrific society and a broken nation. We cannot continue on the course we are on - because to do so is to embrace destruction on a national scale. I realize that this is not just a problem for us - it has been a multi-generational problem in our nation. Many of us are like we are - because we have had fathers who wandered from the home - either physically, emotionally, spiritually, or all the above. But we cannot continue on this path - it surely leads to disaster! May God move in our hearts and in our homes to fulfill His promise in Malachi 4:5-6. There the Lord spoke of a day when he would send us "Elijah the prophet" before the great and terrible day of the LORD. His purpose and ministry would be to, ". . . restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers . . ." God's promise here was so that He would not have to come and smite the land with a curse. I think we see all the marks of that curse on our land today. To be honest, the vast majority of the responsibility for that curse lies on the fathers of today and yesterday - for wandering from home. May the work of revival and reformation bring fathers back home - first back to the Lord Himself, then back to their wives and children. Basically - back to the nest - a place they never should have wandered from in the first place. Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Here is probably one of the most well known proverbs that there is. It has to deal with how to rear a child. Too often it is quoted more like, raise up a child and church - and he won't rebel or depart from going to church or doing the church thing. Many a devastated parent reads this verse and wonders why little Johnny doesn't go to church any longer - or want anything to do with the Lord. Let's take a close look at this verse to see what is DOES say and what is DOES NOT say to us as we seek to rear our children for the Lord. The word train is very important to know here - as we see that the "training" of the child in the way he should go is imperative to the blessing of him not departing from that way when he is old. This word is the Hebrew word, "chanak" which means to train or to dedicate. The root word for "chanak" means to narrow something - thus to initiate, discipline, or train it to that narrow path. Ah, here we begin to see what God is saying to us about child training. We are to narrow the child's way - by training and instruction - so that the child's way conforms itself to God's way. This narrowing had to do with the opening of a path. It was a constricting of that opening so that someone went a specific way as they sought to enter the path before them. Let's take a moment and talk about how this is applied to child training. When we talk about "narrowing" a child's way - we are talking about discipline. When they are little it means instructing - but also if necessary corporal punishment (spanking if you will) in order to train the child that there are certain things you just do not do. If you choose to do these things there will be punishment. It means we MUST correct our children when they act out in a way that is contrary to God's way. When we refuse to do this - we are not helping our child find his way - we are confusing them. Study after study has shown that children desire boundaries - and that they will test the ones that are imposed to see if they are truly boundaries or not. Create godly boundaries for a child (oh, and by the way, live by them yourself as well) and a child will have a great deal of stability in his or her life. In many ways, to rear a child in this way is simply to prepare him for a life of discipleship later. Jesus calls us to "Make disciples of all the nations." This means our own children as well. When we teach them that disicpline is the "way of life," we prepare them for the reality that reward and punishment - really are the way of life. They will face such things all the remainder of their days. It is best to begin young teaching them such things - and showing them through our discipline that there are very real consequences for actions outside of the Scriptures. Too many see child reading in this permission society as letting a child find his own way in the world without the parents doing much to get in his way. This is a sure way to lose a child - to have them follow after their own sinful nature and ruin themselves by indulging their flesh and walking in an ungodly path. Adam Clarke spoke of this passage as teaching a child how to narrow the opening of his path so that he was directed in God's way, no matter what chioce he had to make. Clarke spoke of how we needed to show the child the path - instruct him on the duties, dangers, and blessings of the path - and then do all we can do guide the child so that he takes God's path. Thus when a child faces the reality of life in this world - and the choices that are placed before Him - then that child will be able to reason from the Scriptures and know how to conduct himself or herself in the world. We are told to train up this child in the "way" he should go. Way is our old Hebrew friend, "derek" and it means a path, a way - and was probably the word used most often to speak of choices someone would make that would lead to a lifestyle - or way of living. Note here that we are to train up this child to the lifestyle and way - the path of life in which he "SHOULD" go. Here we face a very serious problem when we present this to the average worldling of today. A way in which someone "should go" indicates that one way is superior to another - something this world finds anathema to their worldview. They think all lifestyles and all paths are the same. Thus to say a child has a way he "should go" rather than to just let the child find his own way and follow his own heart until he knows his own path - that is nothing more than legalism and a domineering way of rearing a child. The worldling parent is not supposed to care if the child goes in a way that is not acceptable to the parent. The child will find his own way - and besides, it is the height of arrogance to think we KNOW how someone should go! The Bible has a much different view here. God gives us a Law that guides us into the right way and away from the wrong way. There are certain moral choices that are soundly right - and others that are horribly wrong. There are choices in the area of sexuality that are the right way to live - and others that are wrong (not just an alternate lifestyle - just wrong). Taking the time to teach a child these ways - and guide them into these paths - that is what child training is all about. There is a right way - God's way - and that is how we are to teach our children to walk. We are to train them that right way - and also to instruct them on the consequences of walking in the wrong way. We should show them, not just God's instructions, but also God's judgments on certain ways of living and certain choices that they might make. Then there is the promise. It is a bold promise. Even when he is old he will not depart from it. As the child grows older - with instruction, discipline, warnings, encouragements and everything else a parent should use to teach him - that child will not depart from God's way. The example of the parent is also vital here because we teach not just with words - but with our actions as well. When they see these things - hear these things - watch these things modeled before them - then then will know the way in which to walk. This proverb involves so much more than just taking a child to church and youth group. It involves serious child training using God's Word as our blueprint. It involves selling out on how we live ourselves and laboring to teach our children God's Word on morals and meaning. We labor - striving to show them God's way - striving to help them see the forks in the road - but also the consequences of taking the wrong turn there. These are the things that matter if we are to be successful in rearing children for the Lord. If we instruct and lead in a way that narrows their choices into the wise and godly way - we can be assured that when they grow old, they will not depart from the way in which they were instructed. It is a promise that God's way - taught in God's way - modeled in God's way - will provide results as a child chooses His way as His own way in life. POSTSCRIPT: Recently, individuals have quoted articles from this section and stated that we teach child abuse at Calvary Chapel Jonesboro. To this I feel the need to respond. First, biblically, we are told that if we have a problem with our brother to go to our brother - not the internet - and confront our brother. To date, these individuals have yet to contact me to discuss these things. That should say volumes in itself. Second, we do not teach child abuse at our fellowship. This blog is an endeavor to teach what is in the Bible for the edification and upbuilding of God's people. Anyone who has been to our fellowship knows that in our classrooms we administer NO physical discipline. We correct with words and with "time outs" and eventually with a report to parents. From our nursery throughout every age group our people are instructed NEVER to administer physical discipline. We believe this right alone belongs to a parent. Even then we teach the following about any application of physical discipline. Discipline is about the heart of a child. Physical or corporal punishment is ONLY to be administered in a spirit of love for the child. Teaching and loving verbal correction is key - as is prayer for the child's eventual salvation in Jesus Christ. Any physical punishment administered due to anger or rage is out of line and wrong. The parent is to discipline the child with appropriate discipline - not abuse. In the end the child should be taught - and in every circumstance hugged, loved, and prayed with after any physical punishment to assure them of our love. The idea of a "beating" is completely out of step with what the Scriptures are teaching. Instead the idea of loving discipline is intended. Grandchildren are the crown of old men, And the glory of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6
Here is a verse that we as fathers and grandfathers need to read and have as our goal as parents. It speaks of how grandchildren and children should feel about one another. We are currently suffering from a lack of "fatherhood" in our nation. Fathers are abdicating their responsiblities and leaving children to be reared solely by their mothers (with some children even being rejected by their mothers and being left to a grandmother, relative, or the state system. With all due respect to the moms, grandmothers, and those in the foster care system who are doing their best - dads cannot be replaced. Grandchildren are the crown of old men. We see this in one way when we run into the grandfather who has a wallet full of pictures and a heart filled with pride over his precious grandson or granddaughter. He could tell stories for an hour or more about this precious one who is so dear to his heart. But there is a greater thing we also need to see. Children's children are the product of a job well done by a parent. It is one thing to see our children follow the Lord - and it is a joy to see. But a greater joy even than this is when our children also learn from our example to rear their children in the Lord as well. When we see multiple generations blessed by the work of the Lord in their hearts, we experience the crown - the vicotry that God desires for us in our families. A grandfather who is spiritually minded delights to watch his own children teach his grandchildren to walk with God. One of the things that God desired in His people, was that fathers would take seriously their spiritual responsibility of rearing their children in His ways. This was seen when "many generations" were blessed. This only happens when we see the second part of this proverb embraced. We read, "The glory of children are their fathers." This does not happen automatically. It requires a father who looks at his responsibility to lead his family - and who seeks to fulfill that responsiblity - not for just a day, or a week, or even a year. He seeks to live out God's best for a lifetime. I've watched men do this and it is a joy to watch how their children view them. One man I know personally is his daughter's hero. I watch his 3 daughters as they are around him. Many men would give all that they have to see that look in their daughter's eyes. To these girls, their father is their glory. I also know a man whose son looks at him in the same way. This young man truly has a worthy hero - and the hero is not some athlete or movie star whose life does not deserve emulation. His hero is his dad. Let me say that these looks do not come cheap. These two men have given their lives to love the Lord first - their wives second - and their children third. They have their priorities straight - and they live by them. They don't have a ton of hobbies - and are not men who live for themselves and what they want. They sacrifice and live to please God and to love others. They lay down their lives on behalf of their wives and children. This is a daily act on their part that may seem costly to some men - but these two dads would say that it was a mere pittance compared to what they've received through the love of their families. We have a picture of how things should be. Grandchildren should be the crown of the old men who have them. Children should glory in their fathers. That is the norm in the kingdom of God. The question we should then ask as fathers is very simple. "Are we living in such a way that they have someone in whom to glory?" Our ultimate example in all this is God. He gave and gave - and lives to bless His children - even when they are not exactly worthy of blessing. May we make it our lifelong ambition to be "like Him." Be like the ultimate Father - and give ourselves for our bride and children. When we do so, we will find that there are blessings - marvelous blessings for a job well done in this area. A fool rejects his father's discipline, But he who regards reproof is sensible. Proverbs 15:5
Why is it so important for a child to learn to submit himself and learn from his parents - especially a son from his father? First, we need to learn from this relationship because we will be dealing with authority all the days of our lives. I love the story of the son who, rebelling against his father's authority says, "I don't have to live under this kind of dictatorial authority, I'm joining the Marines!" Believe me when I say that when we don't learn under the authority that God has in our lives - the Lord is very willing to up the ante on our next authority figure. The second reason we need to learn to live under authority - especially with our fathers is because that relationship more than any other is suppose to parallel that between a man and his God. Only a fool rejects his father's discipline. He looks at his father's rules and boundaries for his life with contempt. He spurns them and rejects them outright. He comes to despise the role his father is supposed to play in his life. Interesting to note here is the fact that this same word is used for blasphemy elsewhere in the Old Testament. Fancy that now - the same term that is used to describe the rebellion of a son to his father - is the same one used to describe the rebellion of a creation to his Creator. The reason we need so desperately to learn how to deal with discpline and correction is because this is the way of life. Proverbs tells us elsewhere that reproofs for discpiline are the way of life. We are rebels by nature - and by choice when that nature kicks into full gear. The better we learn how to deal with disicpline and reproof - the better suited we are when the Holy Spirit comes to bring conviction of our sin so that we can respond to the gospel of Jesus Christ. The one who "regards" reproof is called sensible. The word for "regard" here is our old friend "shamar" which means to watch out for something - to attend to it, to be careful to keep something and watch over it. This word has the idea of diligence and watchfulness over what is said in reproof to us. We listen and regard rather than reject what is said. Oh the lessons that we could learn - and the pain and suffering that we could avoid in life if we would just listen to those who offer us reproof. It is the sensible thing to do. It is wise and prudent to listen to those who can offer us reproof and instruction on how to do things better. It is wise to listen to those who see our mistakes and who desire for us to take a fork in the road so that we don't go the wrong way. It is prudent to listen to those who've been where we have not - who've experienced shame and disgrace because of choices we are about to make. That is why we need desperately to learn how to handle loving reproof - and even outright rebuke. God knows that this is truly the way of life - and the way to avoid great sin and sorrow. Listen to your fathers - and learn from them. This will be a lesson that will be repeated often as others who will serve as father-figures offer additional advice and counsel that can bless your life. If you learn to listen now - while a child - oh, what blessings are in store for you from that one lesson later in life. Then he taught me and said to me, "Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live; Proverbs 4:4
Fathers, what are you wanting in a relationship with your children? Now, I'm not talking to the father whose heart is not turned to the Lord, for often what a lot of men in that condition want is to be relieved of the responsibility of their children. Selfishness and self-centeredness often leads men to care far more about themselves than their children. The godly father, though, is clearly represented in this passage. Let's take a look today and learn wisdom from him. First of all, the godly father is involved in teaching his children. It is important to see this because too often dads leave imparting spiritual wisdom to their children to their wives - and to the Sunday school teacher and youth pastor. Let me say something as strongly as I can at this point. "DAD, YOU CANNOT BE REPLACED IN THIS MATTER!" Your children absolutely need your imput into their lives. They need a godly father to impart God's wisdom to them. I know at this point a lot of fathers panic and think to themselves, "What would I even teach them?" How about Proverbs? How about the 10 commandments? How about just reading to them the sermon on the mount? Just read some and let them ask you questions. Listen to the godly father here. He says to his children, "Let your heart hold fast my words." What a great thing to say to your kiddos. Teach them the Word - read it to them - and then afterward say to them that what you want more than anything else in the world is their heart. You want them to hold fast the Words of God that you read to them. Impart to them a heart that wants to hold your words close. Impart to them a heart that wants to obey God and follow Him. These are things that only you can give your chlidren - and if you don't - not even the best children's ministry and youth ministry in the world can replace you! The godly father also tells his children that they need to keep the commandments - to guard them - to watch over them and desire to obey them. Then tell your children that if they keep God's Word - which will be the word you share with them - they will live! Let them know what REAL living is - it is living out God's Word and living to bring honor and glory to Him! Dads! hear me well - and hear God's Word. The godly father wants his children's hearts! He wants them to be drawn to the ultimate Father whose wisdom will bless them and help them to live a life like no other. Follow the example of this godly father in Scripture. Speak the things of the Lord to your children - make this a priority. You cannot be replaced in this role. Others may fulfill it in your absence - but know this - it will be most effective when it comes from you. No one else will have the impact and the power you will have when you do this. So many bemoan the problems of our world and wonder what it will take to bless a generation of children coming up. I can tell you what can turn us in one generation . . . fathers . . . godly fathers . . . godly fathers who speak the Word to their children - and do so to gain their hearts. They gain their hearts so that they can transfer them to the ultimate Father - Who can take our children and lead them all the days of their lives. For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction. Proverbs 4:2
Here is another call for fathers to be the spiritual leaders of their homes - and the primary Bible teacher in their children's lives. The father here is speaking to his sons. Here is something we desperately need to recover in our day - that spiritual mentoring of sons by their fathers. I work with men every week - and I see in their eyes the pain they feel because this did not happen in their lives. There is something missing in the "man's experience" when he is not mentored by his father. We find in so-called primitive cultures that the fathers train their sons and bring them through a "coming-of-age" ritual. These boys know then they have left the world of youth and moved into their roles as adults - as men. For the most part our boys have no idea when this happens - and as a result we have a plethora of 20-60 year old boys running around in our world making tremendous messes of their lives - and the lives of their wives and children. The father her says to his son these amazing words, "For I give you sound teaching." The church today - if sound teaching is offered at all - is considered responsible to teach our children and our youth the things of God. These things are needed, but they are only to be suplemental to what is happening in the home. If our children do not hear these things from their fathers - what the church does will not replace it. We need to grasp that our children are most likely to become - not what we want them to be - but what we actually are. If the father does not teach his sons the things of God - no youth pastor will ever completely fill that role. Most likely the boys growing up in that home will mirror his level of commitment to the things of God. This is why it is imperative that fathers take their roles with their sons very seriously. The father offers to his sons sound teaching in the Word. For the father who does this for his sons - they have an inheritance that goes far beyond silver and gold. They have a foundation that will stand the test of time - and if they follow their father's example - they will wind up blessing multiple generations of their family. For a society that does this - there is a sound foundation that will bless for years to come. Our founding fathers took such a role very seriously - with their own families - and with our nation as a whole. Look at the blessings that have come even into our day because of their faithfulness. The father also instructs and commands his sons not to abandon his teaching - literally, his law. Here is another biblical principle that we need to recapture. College professors and liberals today infect our children with the thought that it is the height of ignorance to simply believe what their parents taught them - especially when it has to do with religious beliefs. They save their greatest vitriol for Christianity and belief in God. The result of swimming in such moral and educational bilge water is that our children too often abandon their faith during these years and walk in ways that they regret for years to come. Oh dads, your role is far greater than you could ever imagine! YOU are responsible for giving your sons "sound teaching." The King James calls this "good doctrine" and this is so very accurate. Take your role seriously fathers! Make time in your life to know good doctrine yourself. Even if your father did not take this task seriously - you start something wonderful in the future generations of your family. Spend time with your sons and daugthers teaching them the things of God. Implant within them good, sound doctrine from the Scriptures - as well as an example your children want to follow long after they leave your home. We live in a day where the "Tea Party Movement" is seeking to restore the nation our forefathers gave to us. They do so pointing to the Constitution and the restoration of limited government. Being a patriot as well as one who believes strongly in our form of government and freedom - I applaud these efforts. But, they will ultimately fail if our nation is not also restored to her former religious - and by that I mean Christian - heritage. We cannot be governed by the United States Constitution alone. Our forefathers realized that first and foremost they were governed by the Law of God in their hearts. They spoke of how limited government could exist because the 10 commandments initially governed the human heart - and limited wickedness in society. Without this "inner-law" governing the hearts of Americans and their leaders - no external law can reign in society - without it being adversely affected by the inner wickedness of the fallen human heart. This is where government will never be able to fill the void of godly fathers. Without dads teaching their sons the things of God - at least teaching and modeling for them a life governed by the commandments of God - society will inevitable fall apart. Without dads who teach their sons and daughters the gospel of Jesus Christ. Without their hearts being transformed so that Law is written on their hearts - evil will gain ascendency in our individual lives - in our corporate structures - and in our governing bodies. What I would love to see is that the Tea Parties not just speak to the abandonment of the Constitution - but also speak to the abandonment of our children by their fathers. When I say this - I am not speaking of the fathers who physically abandon their children - although I see this as part and parcel of our spiritual decline. I speak of how the fathers of the United States have abandoned their children spiritually - expecting government and the church to fill a role God never intended them to take. Only a revival of godly fathers fulfilling their roles in their families will truly turn the next generation around in our land. May the Lord have mercy on us - and bring about a revival of fatherly proportions. The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother. Proverbs 10:1
We now move to Proverbs that Solomon wrote - not so much advice from his own father and mother - but those pithy little one verse statements that we treasure from him when trying to make wise decisions. The first of these deals with how a wise and foolish son affects a family. The wise son is the one who orders his life according to God's commandments and ways. He walks through life with the Word of God foremost in his mind and choices. What is interesting here is that the Scriptures says that this son makes his father glad. The word for glad here is "samah" and it means to be glad, rejoice, be joyful, even to gloat. This is the day who wants to brag on his boy and the great choices he is making. You can see him telling everyone about his son's achievements. This is the case when a son gets a Ph.D. or when he is a football star. But what we need to note here is that the reason this father is glad is because his son is wise. That means this son may not have been the star of the team or the number one student in his class. He may not have been the doctor or the wildly successful businessman. All these things you can achieve without being wise or understanding. This definitely reminds dads what is important - and that is wisdom. If our sons become wise men who love the Lord and honor Him with their lives - we should be ecstatic! That is what is important and what really matters. Oh dads, make this your goal and the thing you strive for in rearing your sons. What a much better world this would be if we had young men who were urged toward wisdom rather than toward the normal cast of worldly achievements. The latter half of this verse is not as joyful as the first. It says that the foolish son is a grief to his mother. This is the classic word for fool used again - the one who has no idea of how to live before God in a successful, practical, godly way. He lacks any kind of real spiritual wisdom or undersanding of life. He is pretty much oblivious to the whole idea of living for God's purposes, plans, and glory. As a result, though he may be wildly successful in the eyes of men - before God he is a spiritual pygmy. The commentary on this boy is that he is a grief to his momma. This grief is a sorrow and it speaks of a feeling of great loss and loneliness. When it comes to this verse I don't have to speak from principle - I know what this looks like up close and personal. My two sons walk with the Lord today - but there was a period of about 3-4 years when they did not. I grieved and prayed during this time - desiring for my boys to turn their hearts and lives to God. But my wife was a different story. Her grieving went so much deeper than my own. She wept often and spent hours praying for her boys. It broke her heart to see them not desire to walk in God's ways. Her reaction to them was probably ten times more intense than my own. It was painful at times when I watched her grieve this way - but she was pretty much inconsolable until they had returned to living for Christ. I'm not even sure that a guy can grasp how deeply a mother grieves for her children - especially her sons. I know that this verse does not seem to be positive - and honestly it isn't. It is primarily a warning to sons to live for Christ. I think it is also a verse that warns parents of how much their children's choices will affect their own lives. But I want to offer a tinge of hope to those who have wayward sons. Embrace the grieving and allow the Lord to use it to empower your prayers. Also allow Him to use it to bring a deeper repentance and turning to Him in your own lives. That is what I watched my own sweetheart do when she walked through 3-4 pretty dark years of her life. But I also say that she would not let go until her sons were serving the Lord. I'm watching it even today as we rear our daughters. I'm committed to this process - but there is something deeper in her. For her it is life itself. She has poured her life into our kids - and to be honest there is within her a determination that they follow Christ. For that I am grateful - for I think that the way our kids follow the Lord is far more due to her prayers and tears - than it is to mine. My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding; Proverbs 5:1
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears." This was the way Shakespeare began the speech of Mark Antony in Julius Caesar. It was a cry for people to listen and to pay close attention because something very important was going to be said. Proverbs has its own soliloquies as well - but they come from the mouths of mothers and fathers to their sons and daughters. This is how the father begins his speech to his son - by calling him to listen and to pay close attention to what he is going to say. Give attention, pay heed, pay attention, listen is what the father is saying to his son. But he is not calling him to attention to just anything - he is calling his attention to the wisdom that the father shares with him. Wisdom is the familiar word "chokmah" in the Hebrew meaning which means not just seeing or knowing things from God's perspective - but having a skill and experience in using this wisdom to make moral and practical decisions. We are not to turn the education and en-wisening of our children over to others. That is what western culture has done too often. We turn our kids over to the school - even to their Sunday school teachers and youth leaders. Let them teach our children wisdom - that's what they're for right? WRONG! They are there to only add to and embellish the core teachings that should have come from us. When we do not do our jobs as parents - believe me - no one else can make up for it. The father calls his son to bend his ear close when he speaks and when he instructs. "Incline your ear" is like Shakespeare's, "Lend me your ears," comment. It is saying to the son that he needs to stretch out his ears - bend them toward what the father is saying. He is to extend and lean his ears to what is being said - but even more to that - to understand his father's words and see how they apply to all of life! We talk about how the younger generation is leaving the church. They are leaving because they see very little relevance to their lives from what is being taught. They see the Bible as stories told when they were little - as an antiquated book that no longer applies to today's world. Why? Because they did not hear from dad - nor see in dad a daily pursuit of the truth - as well as a daily understanding of how that truth applies to making decisions in the everyday life that he leads. Of course they are going to think it is of little value. Oh, but when a father teaches his children these things - calls them to listen and bend their ear close as he instructs them. When dad reveals to them a life lived from the perspective of God and of Scripture - that - dear brothers and sisters is a life that will call a son to follow. That child will value what he has heard and SEEN in his father. He will listen because he has SEEN how important this book - the Bible - is to how his father lives. That, my brothers is how we recapture this generation. We do so by living according to God's wisdom - then calling our sons to listen as we recount time after time when that wisdom guided us through the minefields of life. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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