Like a bird that wanders from her nest, So is a man who wanders from his home. Proverbs 27:8
Birds begin every spring by gathering what is needed to construct a nest. Usually they select a place that they believe will give them protection and shelter. This becomes the location where they then lay eggs and work to build a family. The nest serves as the location of safety and of security. For a bird to leave the nest is dangerous. Note that the term used for this leaving is the word wander. The bird is not flying from the nest for the purpose of hunting or finding food for itself and its young. This bird is just following its own curiosity wandering away from the nest to see what he can see. This indicates that we are probably speaking of the young - because an adult bird knows better than to wander from the nest. There is a word for birds who wander from their nests - prey! They become prey for those who are watching to see if they leave the protection and cover of the nest. They are sitting ducks as they go out from the nest just wandering wherever they go. It is a very dangerous thing to just go wandering away. The picture of a bird wandering from its nest is compared to a man who wanders from his home. Here again is God's wisdom. God establishes the home as the central unit of society. It is also the place where God intends for children to be reared to maturity. There God provides for the child two loving parents who are focused on selflessly giving themselves for this child's good. As long as the child stays within the home (meaning its influence and protection) that child is safe. When the child wanders from that place - he is in danger. But what we have said to us here is not about a child - it is about a man. The man who wanders from his home is like the bird wandering from his nest. What would cause a man to wander from his home? There are many things actually that work toward guiding a man toward this disaster. First is another woman. Many men wander from their home and wind up being involved with a woman who is not their wife. They wander away from their commitment - away from their vows to God and to their bride - and much like the bird wandering from his nest - this man is caught . . . trapped . . . hunted and captured. Sexual immorality and adultery are both strong traps that have destroyed many a man who wandered from the nest of his home and marriage. Another thing that causes men to wander is outside interests that begin to dominate their lives. Please understand I'm not against a man having outside interests like hunting, fishing, sports, cars, motorcyles, or whatever else a guy chooses to pursue. What I warn men against is having pursuits that take them away from the home far too often. Our commitment as a husband and father is to our wives and our children. Anything that takes us away from them - and hinders us from being there for them as we should - is not good. It is another way men "wander" from the nest - and leave themselves (and their families) unprotected. There is more to this than just the damage done to the man who wanders away. When he is in this "wandering" state, his family is left unprotected. His sons are untaught in the things of the Lord - and undirected into God's way by watching and participating with their father in vastly important ways. His daughters are left unprotected - and grow up with a sense that they have to take care of themselves. They face dealing with boys on their own - and since dad has been off acting like a boy - they don't know what a real man looks like. Too often this leads to disaster as sons grow up being boys perennially as they follow the footsteps of a father who leads them there by not growing up himself. Daughters grow up unprotected and wind up going out with and marrying the wrong kind of man. There are truly multiple disasters that come from a man wandering from his home. Men . . . God wants you to be MEN! That means leaving behind boyhood and choosing to be the man God wants you to be in your home. The church and our world desperately needs men like this. We need guys who choose to die to themselves and see more and more as they grow older that life is not about them. They grow up and realize that shirking serious responsibilities in the home and in the church is creating a horrific society and a broken nation. We cannot continue on the course we are on - because to do so is to embrace destruction on a national scale. I realize that this is not just a problem for us - it has been a multi-generational problem in our nation. Many of us are like we are - because we have had fathers who wandered from the home - either physically, emotionally, spiritually, or all the above. But we cannot continue on this path - it surely leads to disaster! May God move in our hearts and in our homes to fulfill His promise in Malachi 4:5-6. There the Lord spoke of a day when he would send us "Elijah the prophet" before the great and terrible day of the LORD. His purpose and ministry would be to, ". . . restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers . . ." God's promise here was so that He would not have to come and smite the land with a curse. I think we see all the marks of that curse on our land today. To be honest, the vast majority of the responsibility for that curse lies on the fathers of today and yesterday - for wandering from home. May the work of revival and reformation bring fathers back home - first back to the Lord Himself, then back to their wives and children. Basically - back to the nest - a place they never should have wandered from in the first place.
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That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words. Proverbs 7:5
We begin to grasp why wisdom and understanding need to be our sister and kinsman redeemer when we see the way that the adulteress seeks to capture men. The wise father here is offering very sage advice to his son - in an effort to rescue him from the snares of immoral women who would capture him with their wiles. Wisdom and understanding keep us from the adulteress. There is something we need to hear in our day - or any day for that matter. If a man does not walk in this world with his spirit open to the Holy Spirit - he will have the normal abnormalcy of walking in his flesh. I call this normal - because it is the state of all who come into this world. I call it abnormalcy because that was not how God originally made man - nor is it where God wants us to be. Too many men, young and old, walk blind to spiritual realities. This makes them sitting ducks for immorality and every other kind of vice common to mankind. It is only seeing things from God's perspective that will guard us from the adulteress. Thus we need to think in cooperation with the Holy Spirit who desires to give us wisdom and understanding - not with our desires and with our labido. We need to be guarded and protected . . . from ourselves. This "strange woman," which is what the Hebrew literally says, is a foreigner. This term may surprise you, but it has more to do with a "spiritual" foreigner than any kind of nationality issues. God warned Israel about the nations that surrounded her because their daughters would intermarry with Israel's sons. God's concern was that this situation would result in Israel's sons worshipping the false god's that these women worshipped. As a result, these sons would turn from the Lord and follow the false gods of the nations instead of the one true God, Jehovah. The adulteress has a secret weapon in her arsenal. It is one that God warns us of - and yet still hundreds and thousands of men fall for it every day. She "flatters" with her words. Men love for their egos to be stroked and pampered. They love it when a woman says nice things about them - compliments them - and tells them how wonderful they are. (As a man, I fear that this comes from the arrogant prideful thought within me that when they do - they are so right - because . . . well . . . because I just so incredibly awesome!) Oh, here is the danger, men! We want the ego strokes because of our pride. When a man has been married for a while - too often these ego-strokes begin to fade in the marriage due to men being doofusses and due to the natural progression of sin. (Just a note to wives . . . ladies, you cannot ever grasp how important it is for your husband to know you appreciate him - and that you still consider him your hero - and a warning as well is needed here. If you don't do this - or think its just dumb to say things like this cause you've been married 5, 10, 20, 30 years. I can promise you that at some point, some other woman may begin complimenting and flattering your husband. He is still responsible to be godly, be pure, and be faithful. But that task becomes all the more difficult - when he receives no encouragement at home - no ego-strokes - no compliments. This makes it harder to resist when someone finally appreciates him. This is not meant to justify unfaithfulness - it just hopefully helps you see that your God-given task of being his helpmate (which includes encouragement and seeing him as your hero) will make it so much easier for him to see the smooth, flattery of the adulteress for what it is . . . a trap!) The adulteress uses flattery to trap a man. She uses compliments and smooth statements as bait for another woman's husband. The word for flattery means words that are smooth and slippery. What a picture of the deception and the lies that are at work here. She worships herself and her own desires - and she is working hard through her slippery, smooth comments to get this poor sap to join her in her worship. He can worship himself and enter into her worship of herself through an illicit relationship. She catches her prey by luring him in through the baited compliments she places into her trap. Wisdom and understanding are essential to delivering us from such things. God's viewpoint is simple men. Are you married? Do you presently have a wife? Then this is totally and completely out of bounds! If this is absolutely outside of God's will for you - then who could be behind such counsel and such temptation? We need to see these compliments for what they are. They are bait on a hook! If you nibble at the bait - a hook is going to tear through the flesh of your lip - possibly rip open your jaw - and no matter how hard you fight, you're going to be reeled in and mounted as a trophy on Satan's wall! My how that description just changed how we view the flattery and slippery speech of the adulteress! We went from being enamored with her beauty and the promise of ecstasy - to feeling sick at our stomachs at the thought of a hook tearing through our skin and the pain that it would yield. Good!! That is what wisdom and understanding are supposed to do. They are supposed to take the silly trappings off of the devil's lies - off of our flesh and its deceptive thoughts - and show us the horror of what truly lies ahead. This is why wisdom is to be our sister - and understanding our kinsman redeemer. They can take the most sensual, inviting situation and show it for what it is. It is going to be horrible! It is going to be bondage! It is going to be regretted in the end! May God give us grace to see these things - to wake up out of the stupor of our fleshly sleep - and see the truth before it is too late. She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it. Proverbs 5:6
Here is another in a list of warnings given to the man who would think of committing adultery. It is part of the description of the adulteress. Before I go into this particular verse I do want to make a comment or two for the ladies. This passage does describe for us the woman who either leaves her husband to have sex with another man - or a single woman who enters into relationships with married men and thus is committing adultery with him. I do not in any way want you ladies to think that any man is receiving a pass here. This passage is dealing with this issue from the perspective of a warning to sons. Fascinating that this warning comes most likely from David to Solomon - two guys who learned much from the wrong side of this issue. David's warnings to his son Solomon were for the most part unheeded in the end - and Solomon's sin was the undoing of Israel. So you can see that the cost of mistakes in this area are great. Fortunately for us - the grace of God and His forgiveness are greater. Nevertheless - a whole host of problems come when a young man is foolish enough to be ensnared by the adulteress. Oh, and ladies . . . the greatest snare for him is not the woman herself - but his own lusts that wage war in his soul. But, with all this said, it is a wise father who speaks to his son about these issues - even if it is from hard lessons learned. The adulteress, like anyone who is willingly cooperating with sin, is not watching for eternal things. The passage states in the Hebrew that she is not watching the path of life. The actual Hebrew word here is "palas" and it means to ponder or to calculate the weight of something. One of the ways it is used is to weigh out a path and see what it will bring to us in the end. The adulteress is not thinking about eternity - about the judgment of God at the end of life when according to the Bible, all men and women will have to give an account of their choices and actions. The word "ponder" here does not mean just a casual thought - but to stop and think seriously about something. She is not thinking about where her actions are taking her. This is kind of a "duh" statement considering we just read a verse earlier that her feet are swiftly moving towards death and her very steps (indicating a direction taken) and taking hold of the place of the dead. Think about this for a moment. Does anyone who is entering into sexual immorality seriously stop and think about the diseases they are opening up to in their lives? Does anyone entering into adultery seriously stop and consider the havoc coming in their marriage - in their family - in their children's lives? There is not a lot of pondering going on here. Honestly, what IS going on is actions based on lust and desire. Sexual immorality usually involves shutting the "ponderer" down and living by the impulses of our flesh instead. The adulteress also is unstable. The word for unstable here means to stagger and walk crooked. It has the idea of someone who is swaying in and out of a path. Rather than ponder and consider the path of life - she is wandering and staggering off the road. Jeremiah 14:10 uses this same imagery to indicate that there are those who love their wandering. God told Jeremiah, "Thus says the LORD to this people, 'Even so they have loved to wander; they have not kept their feet in check. Therefore the LORD does not accept them; now He will remember their iniquity and call their sins to account."' This is the same sentiment we sing about in the hymn, "Come Thou Fount" when we say, "prone to wander, Lord I feel it; prone to leave the Lord I love." This speaks of a "willful" wandering. The adulteress though, is wandering not toward sin with the assurance of God's gracious discipline. She is willfully wandering toward a yawning abyss without seeing its gaping jaws. Her ways are unstable - wandering - staggering toward destruction - but she does not know it. So althought she promises so much through her offer of pleasure, albeit illicit. She does not know even herself where it is eventually leading. Pretty scary description here isn't it? That's the point that David is trying to drive home to young Solomon his son. Remember, David wound up killing Uriah as well as several other soldiers by proxy - had his daughter raped by one of her half brothers - had that son killed by another son (who used his proxy methods to accomplish the deed) - had 10 of his concubines raped in public by his son on a rooftop in front of the entire nation - and had that son die in an effort to usurp the kingdom along with all the soldiers who fell in that battle as well. Kinda cost David far more than he thought to have that one night of hidden passion? Maybe David was wanting Solomon to ponder more than he did - to avoid a similar fate? Maybe whether from success or failure in our moral lives we should do the same with our sons and daughters as well? An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
How would you describe an excellent wife? There is a loaded question if there ever was one - especially when a man is trying to answer that question. Men would answer this question any number of ways. Some would refer to an excellent wife solely by referring to her looks. By the way, this would be a very shallow answer - but one nevertheless. To the man wanting a trophy wife this would be his only consideration. Another man might want a good cook - still another a companion. This is why it is so difficult to answer this question. That is why a proverb like this one is valuable - because it helps us understand the proper way to answer this question biblically. This removes all selfishness and self-centeredness out of the equation - and turns us to God's answer for this question. It will also keep many of us men out of serious hot water when we answer this - and do so without thinking much (which is how we men too often answer things when it comes to the issue of women). The Bible speaks of an "excellent wife" here. What does that mean? The word is actually "chayil" in the Hebrew which when referring to women speaks of a woman with virtuous character. This was the word that was used to describe Ruth in Ruth 3:11. All the people of the city considered her an excellent and virtuous woman. She obtained this testimony because of her character and godliness. The Proverbs 31 woman is also referred to as a woman of excellence as well. Her character speaks well of her - not just in how she treats her husband and children - but also in how she is a hard working, godly woman, whose heart is set on doing well for her family. Their praise of her at the latter end of her days is well-deserved. The second thing we learn of this excellent wife is that she is the crown of her husband. The idea here is that her life and strength of character makes her husband personally proud - and brings him honor as others see her in the community. She adds dignity to his life - not shame. The second half of this proverb points to a shameful wife. We are told that the wife who shames her husband is like rottenness in his bones. Shame here means to act shamefully or to put someone to shame by their behavior. This shame comes from disgraceful conduct - and often this shame is related to sexual immorality and those who act without any wisdom. This shameful woman does not honor her husband or her Lord with her moral conduct - and in addition to this acts often without any kind of wisdom at all. These kind of actions make her like a rotting in her husband's bones. There is no stability given to him from her - and that which should hold him up, gives way into a crippling break of a bone. The excellent wife is the godly wife - the woman who first and foremost seeks to please and honor the Lord. She wants to bless her husband with her heart for God - but also desires to crown him rather than supplant him. As Proverbs 31 tells us, "She does him good all his days." Thus we see all the earthly and fleshly definitions of a good and godly wife fall to the wayside - only to be replaced with the biblical way of seeing a woman. If God has given to you such a wife - realize you have a rare jewel - a diamond and ruby of great value! Cherish her and praise her often for she will not usually be praised by our society. For those who read this - and are women - strive to be the woman God desires for you to be rahter than what the women's magazines promote. Reject the worldy woman who embraces feminism rather than femininity. Enjoy being a woman and enjoy your gender. It is God's gift to you - and a blessing you should cherish. Learn to see your role as God defines it in Scripture - because in the end, you will have to answer to Him on that day - not the NOW. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; Proverbs 5:3
What is it about an adulteress - or an immoral woman that gives her power over men? According to what we read in Proverbs 5:3, it is the power of her words. Granted, we know that a woman can use her body to get a man's attention - but very few men on a lustful look will enter into an adulterous affair. What is dangerous is when the "strange woman" begins using her lips and speech to reel a man in for the kill. The lips of an adulterous drip honey. She is filled with compliments and sweet words for the dope who listens. To be honest, part of the reason this works is twofold. First, too often married women don't know the power their words have on their husbands. A man longs for his wife to say nice things about him - to him. (By the way - this is a two-way street! Men don't use their mouths like they should either to compliment and praise their wives). After a period of time, a husband no longer hears nice comments from his wife (which may be partially his fault for being ungodly - or no longer a husband who takes care of things as he should) - and misses being spoken to in this way. Enter the adulterous woman - who comes into his life with lips that drip honey. Oh, how we need to see the additional proverb that says that more flies are caught with honey than with vinegar! (By the way - more husbands are caught with this too - and ladies . . . there are plenty of women who will compliment him if you won't. This doesn't mean he'll become an adulterer - but it does mean that if you don't speak nicely to him - he's just that much more vulnerable!) The other reason this works is because men are stupid. They'll listen to some adulterer who compliments them - not realizing that her compliments are empty. She is using them to bait him into the relationship. Just like a fish bites a lure - so he bites at the compliments of her honey dripping lips - not realizing that when he does - he will be hooked - dragged out of the water - stuffed and put on the wall as a trophy to her feminine wiles. She will come to him with speech that is smoother than oil. He may be a husband who only hears bitter, angry, or resentful speech at home (again usually his own fault - but ladies beware - his failures do not merit yours - just like yours are no excuse for his). When this fool listens to her smooth speech, he does not know nor understand that she is baiting him with it. Oh, dear saint of God - especially if you are a brother in Christ - RUN FROM SUCH WOMEN! When a women who is not your wife or daughter seems to always be offering compliments - it is not a good thing. When you think to yourself that you wish your wife would say the kind of nice things this lady does - realize this - SHE AIN'T A LADY - AND THAT THING IN YOUR MOUTH - THAT'S A HOOK! This is dangerous situation - one that is repeated far more often than I'd even want to consider! You are being set up - and the best thing to do is to run like crazy! Go home fool - talk to your God and then to your wife. This is the wisest thing you can do - and if you don't do it - well . . . get ready to be caught, gutted, stuffed, and displayed as another foolish man who went for the honey-lipped, smooth-as-oil speech of a strange women - and ended up an adulterer! "Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: Under a slave when he becomes king, And a fool when he is satisfied with food, Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress." (Proverbs 30:21-23)
There are things that make society shake. This may seem a little shocking to us, because as Americans we are taught to cheer for the little guy. But this is not about the little guy - it is about situations that should not happen - and when they do - the earth shakes under it and can bearly bear up under it. There is such a thing as decorum - and the proper way things should be done. In each of these situations something improper happens. That is why the earth quakes in each of these situations. The Bible is not putting the little man down in saying these things. Instead, what is happening is that when one of these four people gains access to these situations, the earth itself and society upon it, feels opressed - and often is because when it does happen, too often it is also ushered into a kind of "payback" situation as well. One thing we can learn from this is the whole concept of winning or ascending to a position with grace and with class. Too often when one does rise up - they do so with an attitude that they are going to make all those pay who oppressed them. Let's look at these four and see what we learn from them. The first situation is when a slave becomes king. The problem here is that Proverbs 19:10 speaks of this - and that this slave is probably considered a fool. It is not fitting for a fool to rule over princes. There are several situations where this might happen - but most of those would be ruled out by the fact that representative democracy did not exist when this was written. The only way a slave would become king in this time period would be by either murder or insurrection. Slaves did NOT become kings. But this slave did - and when he did there was treachery afoot. The problem with this is that when people overthrow governments - and especially when slaves and servants do so - the result is often a major disruption of society. The one in power due to deception and treachery will only rule according to the same standards by which he or she ascended to the throne. The end of this scenario is oppression and domination of the public. It is a sad thing to watch someone in power abuse that power to remain there. When I think of all the governments that have begun with a slave or common man rising to power through military power and intrigue, none of the nation states over which they rule are blessed. It is not that I support the oppression of any people by monarchy either, but too often when the slave comes to the throne - his attitudes and actions do far more to oppress the poeple than liberate them. The second situation is when a fool is satisfied with food. The fool here is the one who does not have any intention to work or to doing any kind of gainful employment. He is lazy and undisciplined - ungodly and unconcerned with adding anything to society. Thus, when he is fed, he simply continues to be a drain on society - and spreads his laziness. Anyone who has watched a welfare state in action knows that the world trembles and quakes under such a situation. I have no qualms with society taking care of the truly needy and those who cannot work, but that is not what is said here. What is happening is that a fool is being underwritten in his foolishness. He is fed, fat, and happy - and intends on staying that way without the thought of any kind of labor. In fact, what happens historically is that the fool becomes discontent with his provisions by the government - and complains for more. While he continues doing little of nothing - he causes great damage to society because of his drain upon it. Ben Franklin commented on the English system of welfare and was horrified by how it caused many in England to become lazy, undisciplined, and ungodly. The Bible clearly states that the workers appetite works for him - and that a principle is that if a man will not work - we should not let that man eat. Let him become hungry and he will get up and begin doing something to provide food for himself. Sadly, we see that attitude as cruel - when it actually is best for the person and for society as well. The third situation under which the earth quakes is when an unloved woman gets a husband. Now here is one that seems out of place. Wouldn't it be a great thing for this unloved woman to get a husband? What is being said here? The word for "unloved" here is a little too tame. The Hebrew word is "sane" and it means to hate. The King James does a better job of translating this word when it says "odious." That word fits better. Several other ways this is translated is as repugnant, hateful, bitter or hated woman. This gives us a much better picture of the woman who is getting married here. This lady is NOT going to make a good wife. In fact, Proverbs has much to say about her - and none of it is good. When you meet a man married to such a woman - or experience her children and friends - you come to understand why Proverbs says the earth cannot bear up under this. She is skilled at making those who love her as miserable as they can be. Such a woman does not need a husband - she needs a moral and social makeover! The last is when the mistress takes the place of her master's wife. Here we have an example in Scripture, when Abaham mistakenly followed the bad advice of Sarah in taking her maidservant, Hagar as a wife. This was to have her bear children to fulfill God's promise - but this was not how the Lord intended to fulfill His promise. This situation brings jealousy to its most ugly manifestations. If this was the way it was between Sarah and Hagar - imagine the carnage when the situation is a man who begins committing adultery with his maidservant and allows her to supplant her mistress. Unfortunately we see this again and again in our society - maybe not with slave girls, because we've moved past slavery. Our problem is with secretaries and with woman who work in our offices and plant floors. A woman works her way into a man's heart (by the way, with very little protest from the whore-mongering man) at work and then becomes his mistress or wife by supplanting his current wife. The world quakes when this happens - and often the earthquake continues for years as the children are broken to pieces by the divorce and subsequent marriages that result. Well . . . what seemed to be out of place at the start of this passage seems to be perfectly in order. God desires for us to avoid the social earthquakes that come with sinful social situations. He knows that the fall of man brought with it much social baggage. By following the wise and sage counsel of our God we can avoid picking up bags that we were never meant to carry - and in so doing - keep our lives much more harmonious as a result. By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; And by knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4
There are things written by authors concerning how to built a godly home - volume after volume - and yet none of them can come close to giving the kind of counsel we find in these two simple verses in Proverbs. Four simple lines written here that let us know how we can have a home filled with all that is pleasant and all that will let the world know that we are truly rich. The very first princple must never be missed. A godly home will never exist without a proper view of its plans and materials. It is by wisdom that a house is built. Wisdom is our familiar word, "chokmah" in the Hebrew. I love this statement about wisdom made by Keil and Delitzsch in their volume on Proverbs. "It is wisdom, that which originates from God, which is rooted in fellowship with Him, by which every household, be it great or small, prospers and attains to a successful and flourishing state." Wisdom is seeing things as God sees them. Wisdom views all of life - all its decisions as decisions to be made in agreement with His will and His Word. Oh, how blessed is the house that lives this way! But life requires more than just seeing things as God sees them. This home, built upon God's wisdom, is established as this view of life is translated into daily decisions, for it is by understanding that this home so built is established. Understanding takes the wisdom of God and moves it into our decision making processes. We take the Word - and use it to discern and understand the situations we face every day. It is the prism through which we experience life - which takes our problems and decisions and bends them toward the will of God as a prism takes light and bends it into all its array of colors. Thus understanding bends all our decisions toward God so that we see them for what they are - and helps us make decisions in accordance with all that will please and honor Him. It is one thing to fill yourself with the Word of God - but quite another to then take that Word and apply it to all of life - especially how you bring up your family. But what a blessing to know that when you do, your home will be well-built and established so that it can stand strong for years. Kind of like what Jesus said in Matthew 7 - that the wise man builds his house on a life that hears and heeds the Word of God - as a wise builder founds his house upon a rock instead of upon sand. This building process even continues to the point of interior decorating. We are told by the Lord not just how to build the house - but how to fill all the rooms to capacity with abundant wealth. The various rooms of this house are filled with precious things by knowledge. This word is closely associated with wisdom - and means a technical or specific ability to do something - here it means taking the Word of God and usin it to walk through life. It means to wield wisdom with great skill and ability. The man who has this kind of specific skill with wisdom knows how to take God's Word and apply it in every situation that comes up in life. A beautiful picture emerges as we look at this word and how God applies it here. God speaks of how various rooms are filled with items specific to the room. Is this not how homes are decorated? We would never think of putting a sofa in our kitchen - or a toilet in the living room. A stove fits perfectly with a kitchen, yet would look absolutely ridiculous if put as a bedside table in our bedroom. So also is wisdom put into place by one who knows how to use it. This man fills up his home with the perfect match of furniture and decorations - room by room. He knows how to speak to any and every situation with just the right statement. Proverbs tells us that like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. To decorate our lives in just the right way requires a skill with wisdom and the Word. Like a master decorator - the wise man puts the perfect touch on every opportunity with his family and friends with words of wisdom and understanding. Each room is filled with "precious and pleasant riches." The word "precious" is the Hebrew "yaqar" which means something valuable and rare. It is used throughout the Old Testament to describe costly and expensive stones that were used as foundation stones or jewels. We would expect nothing less since wisdom itself is described as being more precious than jewels and as that which cannot be bested by gold and silver. Imagine walking into a home where each room greets you with an array of jewelry perfectly placed to accent the room so that it glimmers with a sense of perfection. That describes the way the wise man accessorises all of life with the perfect word spoken to every aspect of living. Yet, what is even more marvelous is the next word used here. He not only fills each room with precious things - but also with that which is described as pleasant as well. The Hebew word here is "naem" and it means that which is pleasant, sweet, comfortable, delightful, and beautiful. The wisdom and knowledge with which this man builts and decorates his home and life is not only profitable, but it spoken in such a way that it is delightful as well. Wisdom presents the truth so that it is pleasant to those who receive it. It would be foolishness to think that every wise saying will be pleasant at all times, for our fallen mentality must be addressed and our waywardness must be corrected. But too often we think that such things must always carry with them a bitter taste and sharp character. Oh, what a wise man it is who can take even the most difficult of truths or deep corrections and state them in such a way to soften the blow - while still addressing the core corruption involved. If you know such a man or woman - hold fast to them - and thank God for a rarity that is greater than a 25 carat diamond. When I read this short exposition, I realize it is a rare thing to see such a man in this world. One would almost come to a sense of despair to locate such a man on this planet. Thank God that such a man rises above all others with our Lord Jesus Christ. This is not so much a life to be attained, but one that is bestowed upon us as we daily search the Scriptures and look to our Lord. We do have the pleasure of knowing such a One as this - yet it is only as we fellowxship morning by morning with Him in the Word at the foot of the throne of God. Yet God, in His mercy, encourages such a meeting. We can meet with Christ and partake of His wisdom and understanding - finding that even today, as when He was twelve - that His answers and wisdom astounds us. May we grasp that when building and decorating our homes and families - that a master builder is available to come alongside us and give us the skill of a Bezalel and Uriah as our lives are constructed for His glory. Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways. For a harlot is a deep pit And an adulterous woman is a narrow well. Surely she lurks as a robber, And increases the faithless among men. Proverbs 23:26-28
Why should a man ask for the hearts of his children - especially the hearts of his sons? That is a good question because in our day we are told that our children need to think for themselves - which is true. The problem comes when that statement is made meaning that they should throw off the beliefs and morals of their parents and adopt the foolish morals of society itself. That is not wisdom but the height of foolishness. From what is said here by the Lord in verses 26-28 we will see why this is such a bad thing for the sons of a society to do. The plea of the father is simple - he wants to have his son's heart. He asks for it very plainly - and restates his request so that we understand that for which he asks. He wants his son to delight in his ways. The request is that his son sets or places his heart in the hands of his father. The restatement of that request lets us see that the father desires for his son to adopt and take up his ways. But this is not a request for the son to grudgingly take up his father's ways - but rather that the son would "delight" in them. "Ratsah" is delight and it means to accept something favorably - to be pleased with it. The father desires for his son to enjoy and favor the ways that he teaches him. This is nothing more than passing to our son the same way we live - to pass our morals and our beliefs to them. And we will see in the very next verse why this is important. Whose job is it to pass to the next generation the things of God and the ways of the Lord? It is the job of the father to do this - and if the father does not take this task seriously - the problems of this passage will riase their ugly head in any society. When a son does not delight in the godly ways of a godly father, what results is that the desires of his lower nature take over and head in a hell-ward direction. One of the first things that will show itself is the lusts of his flesh. Granted this is a two way street - for the one he is warned of is the harlot - the immoral woman. The truth is that without the influence of godly fathers, the daughters also turn away from the things of the Lord - and find that their fallen nature takes over in their choices as well. The son is warned that the harlot is a deep pit. In Proverbs 22:14 this deep pit is identified as the mouth and voice of the harlot and the prostitute. She lures one in with her words and with her enticing promises of sex that is beyond that which marital life can offer. The fool is the one who listens to her - draws near - and then falls into this deep pit. And for what reason is a deep pit dug other than to lure the unsuspecting animal near for the capture and the kill. The end of the matter is death and destruction. One finds himself lying broken in the bottom of the pit with no way out. so also is the adulterous one - who begins thinking only of pleasure and ends knowing nothing but guilt and destruction. The "adulterous" woman here is actually the "strange" or "foreign" woman. God warned against these women because of how they would tempt His people to leave Him and worship their foreign gods instead. Interesting is the fact that the vast majority of this alien worship involved sexual immorality and the abandonment of the marriage vow and the defilement of the marriage bed. This foreign or strange woman is described as a "narrow well." The word here for well is "beer" and it can mean either a well of refreshing water - or a narrow pit that only offers entrapment and misery. What I find fascinating about the use of this word is that God encourages us elsewhere in Proverbs to "drink water from your own well," in reference to the sexual relationship in marriage. But when we abandon our "own well," and go out into the streets seeking illicit sexual affairs - we move from our own well to a narrow pit that holds no water - but rather holds us in our sin and disgrace as the illicit sexual activity destroys our families and our marriages. While the foreign woman promises incredible sexual ecstacies to the fool she seeks to entice, the truth is that she is lurking like a predator, ready to pounce upon her unsuspecting prey. Just like the male black widow spider is lured to mate with the female - not realizing that she will destroy and consume him when the act is done - so the fool strolls into the den of the whore not fully seeing that this is not a pleasure den, but a robber's lure. Still, he comes, thinking that this is all about pleasure, when he is about to experience the trigger of the trap that will enslave him. He is about to have stolen from him all that he will truly treasure. This robber is waiting to add to her own lair of prey. She desires to increase the "faithless among men." This faithlessness is called "treachery" in the Old Testament. There is a word we don't seem to use as much any longer. This word means to act as a traitor and to betray someone. Here it refers to those who are married and their treachery toward their wives and toward the Lord before Whom they entered into their marriage vows. How many marriages have been destroyed simply because a man did not remember his vows before God - instead choosing to listen to the lies of his own flesh and the tantalizing lies of a strange woman. Oh, fathers, how we need to do two very valuable things in life. First, how we need to treasure our wives. We need first to SHOW the way to our sons by how we treat our wives and cling to them. You cannot have instruction without example - and in this situation how the world needs the example of godly fathers cherishing their wives in front of their children. Second, we need to have a generation of fathers who desperately want their son's hearts. We need to call to them to cherish the father-son relationship as a place where they can receive wisdom and instruction and warning. We need to love them and delight in them so that they continue to give their hearts to us. Then, when we have that marvelous gift of their hearts, we need to use that trust to teach them the things of the Lord - urging them to a lifestyle and to choices that will bless them for generations. Among these teachings is desperately needed a call to watch their own hearts - covet the strength of their own marriages - and to protect the purity of their marriage covenants before God. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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