She is now in the streets, now in the squares, And lurks by every corner. Proverbs 7:12
In chapter 7 of Proverbs we are examining the adulterous woman. As we do this we are learning to contrast her actions and lifestyle with what the Scriptures call a godly woman to be. This particular verse may wind up being controversial in what it teaches us. But that is only because we don't teach what the Scriptures say to the women in the church any longer due to the effect of the doctrines of the women's liberation movement. Now that I've opened the proverbial can of worms - let's take a look at today's verse in Proverbs. One of the descriptions of the adulteress is that she is not at home, but instead is all over town. She's in the streets, the squares - and then we read that she "lurks" by every corner. First let's deal with the fact that she is all over town. The Scriptures teach us that a godly woman is a "worker at home." In Titus 2 we read that the older women should be teaching the younger women to love their hustands, love their children, to be sensible, pure, kind, and workers at home. The church has moved away from such teaching because the women's lib movement has made enough noise to make such teaching uncomfortable in today's society. We are considered "out of touch" if we teach such things. We are told that we should realize that a woman can do anything a man can do - and that she should be liberated from her enslavement to the dungeon of the home. What I find fascinating is that Paul begins this section of his letter to Titus by saying that he is to "speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine." This is not a matter of cultural preference - but a matter of sound doctrine. When we do not teach these things in the church - in the way specificed by Paul (i.e. the older woman teaching the younger women) the end will be that the Word of God will be dishonored. The other thing I find fascinating is that for all the so-called liberating that has been done for women - they are still finding that they desire husbands and children. They still find the greatest satisfaction (as well as the greatest challenge) in loving a husband and loving their children. Where this is happening we are also finding that there is the greatest stability provided for children and society to flourish. The adulteress is not for this lifestyle of staying at home - or at least seeing her life's work there with her husband and her children. The Hebrew here is so descriptive. With short phrases we read that she is now in the streets - then now in the squares - and as she lives this jet-setting life all over town - she tends to lurk by the corners. What is being said is that she is not content being in the home. She wants her own life and her own way. Hopefully we are learning from Scripture that the worst thing for us is to constantly "get our way." This woman does not want the home-based life - the family-based life. She wants to be out and about - doing and being everywhere. She's in the streets and in the squares - and we should note that it seems that nothing of any real use is being accomplished. She's just hanging out - out of the home. This is NOT good for a woman - or - for a man for that matter. Now before someone begins to protest that I'm suggesting that a woman be a slave to her house - I want to offer a few comments here on the godly woman. Proverbs 31 presents to us the godly woman. When you read that passage you come away with anything BUT a woman enslaved to her home. She is out and about at times - but not without a purpose. She is out and about doing things for her family. She is out and about serving her home. You would probably see her in the streets and squares as well - but not just "lurking" about by every corner. She is accomplishing things - buying and selling - getting things for her husband and her children. She is overseeing servants who work with her to make her house into a home. The problem is not being out of the house - it is being out of the house for no real apparent reason. We've got far too much "hanging out" going on in our society. Too often our men, women, and children are living their lives to "hang out" rather than to accomplish something. Ever notice that those who are "hanging out" tend to get into far more trouble than those who have a purpose and are "getting out" to accomplish that purpose? This is the fundamental problem with the adulteress. She is "lurking out" rather than "living out." Let me explain. When we "lurk out," we are wasting our time with no real purpose in view. Actually those who "hang out" and "lurk out" are saying that they are either looking for something to do - or - they don't have anything to do. Because this is their situation, they are going somewhere to "hang out." Believe me that when this is your normal mode of life - you will eventually get into trouble. An idle life is the devil's/flesh's playground. Spend enough time with no purpose and no place to go - and the flesh or the devil will begin making suggestions. Live like this and the world system (which is under the devil's control) will offer a direction - and it is a bad one. For the adulteress woman (as well as the fool she seduces) her time spent "lurking out" looking for something to do - it ends in the sin of adultery. We need to "live out" our days. What I mean by this is that we learn to live in God's will - fulfilling His purposes for our lives. This is a life spent seeking to know God - and follow what He desires for our lives. When we live like this, we will go out like everyone else. But the time we go out will be spent accomplishing the things God desires for us to do. There will be a purpose to our going out. We will be "living out" the will of God. We will be living to bring glory to God as we take the time He's given us and put it to good use. In the end His purposes will not just keep us out of trouble - they will be lived out to where we have a life filled with purpose and meaning. This is a far better way to live than just "hanging out" or "lurking out" to see what the world, the devil, and our flesh bring us to do. Wisdom is living a life. Wisdom is a life lived on purpose. Just hanging out will turn to just lurking out - and just lurking out will be a life lived for the wrong purposes. Be wise and live life on purpose - God's purpose.
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She is boisterous and rebellious, Her feet do not remain at home; Proverbs 7:11
What kind of lady do you want to be drawn to in life? For the women who are reading this - What kind of woman do you want to be - or do you want your daughters to become? Hopefully, this passage in Proverbs 7 will have a little bit of wisdom for you today. The woman described here in this verse is the one mentioned in verse 10. This is the adulteress - the woman who dresses as a harlot - and who has her sights set on a very foolish young man who has decided to stray into her web. She is described in three ways in this passage - and I would dare say that these are traits that woman would do well to avoid. First of all we read that she is boisterous. The word for boisterous means to growl, roar, or howl. It means someone who is loud - who is very tumultuous. This is interesting to read because Peter encourages the women in the New Testament to be women whose beauty if from the "inner man of their hearts" (a reference to the fullness of Christ within them) - and adds - a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth to God. (from 1 Peter 3:4) This woman is not either of these things. She is neither quiet or gentle. Her boisterousness manifests itself by the fact that she is out confronting young men - initiating to them. She is out seeking sex and as she does - she is loud and bold in her actions and words. Here we come to an interesting thought. God desires women to be the gentler sex. He sees great worth in a quiet and gentle spirit in a woman. We are not stating that women should never speak - that is a over statement of this principle. It also does not mean a woman cannot laugh or enjoy herself - but that she must be stoic and quiet as a mouse. The passage here and in 1 Peter is saying that a woman ought to have a tranquil heart - and not have to be the center of attention and the life of the party. There is another thing we need to see here. She is not just boisterous - but boisterous and rebellious. Her loudness comes packaged with a rebellious heart as well. She doesn't want to submit to her husband -or to the proper way to carry herself in public. This is evident by the fact that she is seeking an adulterous partner in the streets at night. Most of all she is not willing to submit her life to God and His Word. She desires to run her own life - do her own thing - and say and act however she wants. Men, such a woman is NOT a good woman to marry. Ladies, such a character is NOT wise for you to adopt - and neither is it wise to allow your daughters to be influenced by such women. The third and final description of the adulteress in this verse is that "her feet do not remain at home." This is literal first of all as we watch her leave home and seek out a sexual partner other than her husband. But it is also evident in other aspects of her life. Titus speaks of having the older women teach the younger women to be "workers at home." I'm sure I'll hear about this - but I do not think it is the wisest choice to have women out in the workplace. That will most likely be received as a statement made from the dark ages - but actually it is made from Scripture. The more women have been liberated from this Scriptural principle - the more they have actually been enslaved to the problems that come from it. Women's liberation movements have tried to tell us that a woman should abandon her maternal instincts and leave home to do what men do. The results of this social experimentation have been nothing short of disastrous. As women have embraced being like men - they have also encountered the sins of men as well. It has helped to disintigrate the family and the institution of marriage. When a woman's feet do not remain at home - the protection the Scripture speaks of will be lost to them. I know that I've said some pretty controversial things today. Most likely I'll get some pretty negative comments from this posting. But the facts of Scripture are the facts. Boisterousness, rebelliousness, and women who leave home to pursue their own agenda are not those who are held up and honored in Scripture. I'm not saying that all women who are this way will end up in adultery. But I am saying that the wise woman reads such a passage and leans heavily to the opposite of such things. May God grant to all those who read this His wisdom to see the role that He has for women in this world. Contrary to what the NOW and other feminist organizations will say, such a role is not demeaning to women. It exalts them to the place of their greatest effectiveness and power. Women who have lived out such lives know this. They know that being a women of godly character, graciousness, and sacrificial love - will bless them - and will bless the many generations that will know the love of a godly mother - a godly wife - a godly woman. May God multiply their number in the church once again in our day! And behold, a woman comes to meet him, Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. Proverbs 7:10
In this verse of Proverbs we continue with a look at the ways of the harlot. There are things said here that will probably offend those who have adapted too closely to our culture. The things that I say today can be very incidiary, yet they probably need to be said. Let me issue a disclaimer before I begin commenting on today's proverb. These things are true of the harlot in this verse. Because you may have some of these tendencies it does not automatically make you a harlot - just like having some tendencies that are present in a mass murderer does not automatically make you John Wayne Gacy. But, when we see the things in our lives it should at least make us pause and ask the question of why they are there - and - if they are hindering our testimony of Christ. The adulteress comes to meet her man. This is the first thing we see here in this passage. At the risk of sounding like I come from the stone age, I'm going to make the observation that married women should not be seeking out men. This woman is also seeking out and meeting a man while her husband is out of town. I'm not suggesting that a woman stay in her house and not go out until her husband comes home, but I am saying that wisdom tells me that married women who are seeking the company of another man are placing themselves in a position similar to that of the harlot. There was a day (back in the dark ages) where it was considered improper for a married woman to be seeking the company of another man. But those were back in the days when marriages lasted and the divorce rate was far lower than it is today. Why would we want to return to a time like that? The second thing we read here is that the adulteress is dressed as a harlot. Oh, here we go into the whole concept of dressing modestly. Well . . . you can dress modestly. I'm not suggesting that a woman dress herself in a burka or that any kind of current clothing is out of the question. But what I am stating is that the Bible does speak to how a woman should dress. There is a way that harlot's dress - to excentuate their figures and to draw a man's eyes to their curves rather than to their face. If you dress this way it does not automatically mean you are immoral - but it does mean that your dress does not reflect that of a woman of godly character. It probably also means that you are a stumbling block to brothers who are seeking to honor God by not looking at a woman with lust in their hearts. Since I have several daughters I have dealt with the attitude that says, "Well, maybe the problem is that guys shouldn't be looking!" To that I say, "Amen, they shouldn't!" But then I also answer that biblical love means doing what is best for others - not just doing whatever we want. It means dressing in a way that will "help" your brothers - not in a way that makes even the church a place where they have to be dealing with how women dress. Modesty does NOT mean setting hem lines and shorts lines by some legal decree. I've seen plenty of dresses and shorts that meet those requirements, yet still draw a man's eyes away from the face to the figure. I also have daughters that have different body types that make it very difficult to find anything that merits someone's legal dressing code approval. But there are certain things that a woman should avoid in dressing herself if she wants to honor God in her appearance. One principle that usually works is that of avoiding tighter clothing and clothing that accentuates her curves or clevage. I think the best passage dealing with this is where God speaks of how a woman should clothe herself with good works befitting of a woman who desires godliness. If you live like that your "heart" will be addressed, which will probably do far more to keep you out of immoral clothing than any list could ever do. Since I've mentioned the heart, that is the difference here in how we view this woman. Our passage tells us that this married woman who is meeting a man, who is dressed as a harlot, does so with "cunning of heart." The intent of her heart is cunning. She has plans and designs on this man - and they are not good. In the end, a woman's heart is the place we need to look. Unfortunately there are numerous women who might be a little indiscreet - or who would be wiser if they would adopt a more modest way of dress. But they are not dangerous in the end, because even though they may lack wisdom in these other areas - their heart is not filled with cunning or ungodly plans. This woman though is very ungodly. She has plans - and they involve sexual immorality and adultery. She is meeting this man and is dressed in this way for the purpose of seducing him. She doesn't care what the Scripture has to say about being wise - about modestry - even what it has to say about adultery. She is going to sin - and is set in that direction. The issue of the heart is paramount. For the man who sees these things there is also a lesson. When you see these things - avoid this kind of woman. Be suspect of women who want to come and meet with you. Learn to value the kind of woman who is not just modest in her dress - but who is also modest and discreet in how she approaches men. Be careful and do not let your ego blind you to these things. The pride in a man might look at such issues and sidestep the warnings of wisdom in his heart. He might enjoy having a woman take interest in him. He might secretly enjoy the fact that a woman dresses to arouse in him feelings and desires that cannot be gratified scripturally. He might even enjoy the danger of a woman who is hunting him and showing him such attention, even if she is married. But such a man is a fool! Warnings are given to us to warn us of consequences that await us if we do not wake up and smell the danger. It would be far wiser of us to see such things and make godly choices that might be judged as somewhat victorian by our own society - but which are judged as very smart by a holy God. Keep your way far from her And do not go near the door of her house, Proverbs 5:8
For many, the reason that they fail and fail again in conquering sexual sin is because they are trying to walk as close as they can to the line rather than walking miles from seeing it. Let me explain as we look at today's "little bit of wisdom." Solomon is giving his son great advice here concerning the immoral woman. He is told to keep his way FAR from her! He tells his son not to go near to the door of her house! What great wisdom he offers here - and yet it is as simple as a child learning their first letters. The problem is that too many ignore this advice - and do so to their own demise. FAR - there is the definitive word that we need to remember when it comes to avoiding sexual sin. What usually happens is that a young man wants to go as close as he can to sin - without actually stepping into it. He walks the line between sin and righteousness like someone walks a tight rope. The result of this choice on his part is that he sins - and does so fairly regularly. Here is a truth and wisdom you need to remember when it comes to sexual sin - and hanging around the wrong kind of women or men. If you want to walk as close as you can to sin - you will sin. You are destined to fall if your goal is to stay close to the edge of sin. David knew this when he instructed Solomon in this very same information. David understood this all too well. David should have never been in Jerusalem when he committed adultery with Bathsheba. The Scriptures tell us that when kings went to war . . . David chose to stay home. This presents a very dangerous situation for David. First of all, David is not where he should be - fighting for Israel and engaging the Lord's enemies. So our first lesson is this - if sin is our enemy, why would we want to get as close to it as we can? If David would have been where God wanted him to be - he would have never faced temptation in the first place. David's actions had consequences. Now he was a man in a city filled with women whose husbands were away at war. Where there would have been a natural protection afforded to David by the presence of Bathsheba's husband - that was not the case. When David was walking on the roof of his house and saw Bathsheba bathing - he could have walked away and gone back into his palace. Instead he chose to look - and to note that she was a beautiful woman. Each time David decided to walk on the edge of where God wanted him to be - and what God wanted him to do - David was ensuring that he was going to eventually fall off that edge headlong into sin. Eventually, David succumbed to the desires that were raging in his heard. Even though he had a palace filled with wives - and probably by this time concubines - he had to have this woman. The rest is a sad and sordid history. But enough about David - how about us? Where are we walking in these matters? Are we steering clear of sin - especially sexual sin. I know of men who have stumbled again and again into pornography and other sexual sin - who grieve over their failures. But they are unwilling to get a filter - unwilling to submit to accountability - and many think they can continue to get as close to sin as possible rather than run from it. If you want to know the answer to all this - it is to follow Solomon's counsel here - and keep away from the immoral woman - or wherever you are seeing her image or pictures. If anything our heart's desire needs to be a desire to get as close to JESUS as we can! That is what needs to drive us in our hearts. We need to have a heart that says - not only do I want to keep away from her and steer clear of the door of her house. I want to do just the opposite - to keep as close as I can to Christ - and to often go near Him. If you want to avoid sexual sin - then AVOID IT! But in avoiding it, don't think inches or millimeters. Think miles and miles! By staying away from the source of temptation - we will find our hearts wonderfully protected as we instead draw near to our Lord Jesus Christ! That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words. Proverbs 7:5
We begin to grasp why wisdom and understanding need to be our sister and kinsman redeemer when we see the way that the adulteress seeks to capture men. The wise father here is offering very sage advice to his son - in an effort to rescue him from the snares of immoral women who would capture him with their wiles. Wisdom and understanding keep us from the adulteress. There is something we need to hear in our day - or any day for that matter. If a man does not walk in this world with his spirit open to the Holy Spirit - he will have the normal abnormalcy of walking in his flesh. I call this normal - because it is the state of all who come into this world. I call it abnormalcy because that was not how God originally made man - nor is it where God wants us to be. Too many men, young and old, walk blind to spiritual realities. This makes them sitting ducks for immorality and every other kind of vice common to mankind. It is only seeing things from God's perspective that will guard us from the adulteress. Thus we need to think in cooperation with the Holy Spirit who desires to give us wisdom and understanding - not with our desires and with our labido. We need to be guarded and protected . . . from ourselves. This "strange woman," which is what the Hebrew literally says, is a foreigner. This term may surprise you, but it has more to do with a "spiritual" foreigner than any kind of nationality issues. God warned Israel about the nations that surrounded her because their daughters would intermarry with Israel's sons. God's concern was that this situation would result in Israel's sons worshipping the false god's that these women worshipped. As a result, these sons would turn from the Lord and follow the false gods of the nations instead of the one true God, Jehovah. The adulteress has a secret weapon in her arsenal. It is one that God warns us of - and yet still hundreds and thousands of men fall for it every day. She "flatters" with her words. Men love for their egos to be stroked and pampered. They love it when a woman says nice things about them - compliments them - and tells them how wonderful they are. (As a man, I fear that this comes from the arrogant prideful thought within me that when they do - they are so right - because . . . well . . . because I just so incredibly awesome!) Oh, here is the danger, men! We want the ego strokes because of our pride. When a man has been married for a while - too often these ego-strokes begin to fade in the marriage due to men being doofusses and due to the natural progression of sin. (Just a note to wives . . . ladies, you cannot ever grasp how important it is for your husband to know you appreciate him - and that you still consider him your hero - and a warning as well is needed here. If you don't do this - or think its just dumb to say things like this cause you've been married 5, 10, 20, 30 years. I can promise you that at some point, some other woman may begin complimenting and flattering your husband. He is still responsible to be godly, be pure, and be faithful. But that task becomes all the more difficult - when he receives no encouragement at home - no ego-strokes - no compliments. This makes it harder to resist when someone finally appreciates him. This is not meant to justify unfaithfulness - it just hopefully helps you see that your God-given task of being his helpmate (which includes encouragement and seeing him as your hero) will make it so much easier for him to see the smooth, flattery of the adulteress for what it is . . . a trap!) The adulteress uses flattery to trap a man. She uses compliments and smooth statements as bait for another woman's husband. The word for flattery means words that are smooth and slippery. What a picture of the deception and the lies that are at work here. She worships herself and her own desires - and she is working hard through her slippery, smooth comments to get this poor sap to join her in her worship. He can worship himself and enter into her worship of herself through an illicit relationship. She catches her prey by luring him in through the baited compliments she places into her trap. Wisdom and understanding are essential to delivering us from such things. God's viewpoint is simple men. Are you married? Do you presently have a wife? Then this is totally and completely out of bounds! If this is absolutely outside of God's will for you - then who could be behind such counsel and such temptation? We need to see these compliments for what they are. They are bait on a hook! If you nibble at the bait - a hook is going to tear through the flesh of your lip - possibly rip open your jaw - and no matter how hard you fight, you're going to be reeled in and mounted as a trophy on Satan's wall! My how that description just changed how we view the flattery and slippery speech of the adulteress! We went from being enamored with her beauty and the promise of ecstasy - to feeling sick at our stomachs at the thought of a hook tearing through our skin and the pain that it would yield. Good!! That is what wisdom and understanding are supposed to do. They are supposed to take the silly trappings off of the devil's lies - off of our flesh and its deceptive thoughts - and show us the horror of what truly lies ahead. This is why wisdom is to be our sister - and understanding our kinsman redeemer. They can take the most sensual, inviting situation and show it for what it is. It is going to be horrible! It is going to be bondage! It is going to be regretted in the end! May God give us grace to see these things - to wake up out of the stupor of our fleshly sleep - and see the truth before it is too late. She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it. Proverbs 5:6
Here is another in a list of warnings given to the man who would think of committing adultery. It is part of the description of the adulteress. Before I go into this particular verse I do want to make a comment or two for the ladies. This passage does describe for us the woman who either leaves her husband to have sex with another man - or a single woman who enters into relationships with married men and thus is committing adultery with him. I do not in any way want you ladies to think that any man is receiving a pass here. This passage is dealing with this issue from the perspective of a warning to sons. Fascinating that this warning comes most likely from David to Solomon - two guys who learned much from the wrong side of this issue. David's warnings to his son Solomon were for the most part unheeded in the end - and Solomon's sin was the undoing of Israel. So you can see that the cost of mistakes in this area are great. Fortunately for us - the grace of God and His forgiveness are greater. Nevertheless - a whole host of problems come when a young man is foolish enough to be ensnared by the adulteress. Oh, and ladies . . . the greatest snare for him is not the woman herself - but his own lusts that wage war in his soul. But, with all this said, it is a wise father who speaks to his son about these issues - even if it is from hard lessons learned. The adulteress, like anyone who is willingly cooperating with sin, is not watching for eternal things. The passage states in the Hebrew that she is not watching the path of life. The actual Hebrew word here is "palas" and it means to ponder or to calculate the weight of something. One of the ways it is used is to weigh out a path and see what it will bring to us in the end. The adulteress is not thinking about eternity - about the judgment of God at the end of life when according to the Bible, all men and women will have to give an account of their choices and actions. The word "ponder" here does not mean just a casual thought - but to stop and think seriously about something. She is not thinking about where her actions are taking her. This is kind of a "duh" statement considering we just read a verse earlier that her feet are swiftly moving towards death and her very steps (indicating a direction taken) and taking hold of the place of the dead. Think about this for a moment. Does anyone who is entering into sexual immorality seriously stop and think about the diseases they are opening up to in their lives? Does anyone entering into adultery seriously stop and consider the havoc coming in their marriage - in their family - in their children's lives? There is not a lot of pondering going on here. Honestly, what IS going on is actions based on lust and desire. Sexual immorality usually involves shutting the "ponderer" down and living by the impulses of our flesh instead. The adulteress also is unstable. The word for unstable here means to stagger and walk crooked. It has the idea of someone who is swaying in and out of a path. Rather than ponder and consider the path of life - she is wandering and staggering off the road. Jeremiah 14:10 uses this same imagery to indicate that there are those who love their wandering. God told Jeremiah, "Thus says the LORD to this people, 'Even so they have loved to wander; they have not kept their feet in check. Therefore the LORD does not accept them; now He will remember their iniquity and call their sins to account."' This is the same sentiment we sing about in the hymn, "Come Thou Fount" when we say, "prone to wander, Lord I feel it; prone to leave the Lord I love." This speaks of a "willful" wandering. The adulteress though, is wandering not toward sin with the assurance of God's gracious discipline. She is willfully wandering toward a yawning abyss without seeing its gaping jaws. Her ways are unstable - wandering - staggering toward destruction - but she does not know it. So althought she promises so much through her offer of pleasure, albeit illicit. She does not know even herself where it is eventually leading. Pretty scary description here isn't it? That's the point that David is trying to drive home to young Solomon his son. Remember, David wound up killing Uriah as well as several other soldiers by proxy - had his daughter raped by one of her half brothers - had that son killed by another son (who used his proxy methods to accomplish the deed) - had 10 of his concubines raped in public by his son on a rooftop in front of the entire nation - and had that son die in an effort to usurp the kingdom along with all the soldiers who fell in that battle as well. Kinda cost David far more than he thought to have that one night of hidden passion? Maybe David was wanting Solomon to ponder more than he did - to avoid a similar fate? Maybe whether from success or failure in our moral lives we should do the same with our sons and daughters as well? A man who loves wisdom makes his father glad, But he who keeps company with harlots wastes his wealth. Proverbs 29:3
We see again the correlation between wisdom and the relationship between a father and a son. Here we see that the father has taught his son well to avoid the company of harlots. Truly he has a wise father if he has taught his son this. I once talked to a campus minister who worked with young men and asked him what one thing did more to derail the process of discipleship. He did not even pause in answering me. His words reverberated in my soul - and still remain there. He said, "When they get involved with the wrong kind of girl." If we love wisdom, we will know that the wrong relationship with a woman can be devastating to us. The first 9 chapters of Proverbs warns us again and again of this trap. When we love wisdom, we are one who listens to these warnings and heeds them. We avoid those kind of relationships and steer clear of any kind of involvement with a woman that would rob us of our ability to think, to reason, and to make wise decisions. We love seeing things from God's perspective - and seeing things this way helps us to deal with our sexuality without being burned. Our sexuality is a gift from God Himself - and is only to be given to our wives. Ladies, the same is true for you - your sexuality is a gift from your heavenly Father - and is only to be given to your husband. When a man begins to "keep company" with harlots, he is evidencing that he is a fool. One of the reasons loose women hang around a man is so that he will spend his money on them. He will do so in large amounts because the more he spends on this loose woman, the looser she will become with him. The fool may think that she really likes him - or that she truly thinks he is her man - but all that will go away as soon as the money runs out. In the end, he has lost something he will not regain in his sexual purity - but he will also lose large amounts of money in the process. If he is foolish enough to do this when he is married - and follow a harlot into adultery, divorce, and remarriage - he'll even lose more money when it is all over. We've seen this again and again in the world - when rich men marry young women who throw themselves at them. When the woman has stayed long enough to get a lot of his money and wants to move on - she cleans him out in the divorce settlement. The fool does not love wisdom - he loves his immorality. He loves that his money can buy him illicit relationships (note I did not say love, because whatever he has gotten - it isn't love). But the fool and his money are soon departed. If he is wise, he will have learned from the situation - but most don't - as evidenced by their next relationship with another woman after the same thing. The fool never learns. That is why it is such a delight to have a son who loves wisdom - and - who knows the pitfalls of his sexuality when it takes over and turns him into little more than a moron. But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Proverbs 5:4
Where does immorality and adultery take you? What do they leave you in the end? This is what is told to us today in the proverb of the day. It is wise for us to think about this soberly - because in the heat of the moment - sexual immorality and adultery seem to hold so much promise - promise of sensual pleasure - a feeling of being loved and cared for by someone who thinks your special - a promise that someone really thinks you are sexy. All these things dominate the mind at the moment - and they cloud it terribly so that we cannot see the horror that will come in the end. The end . . . there is a reminder all by itself. "Acharith" is the Hebrew word for "the end." It is a word that means after it is over, or, in the latter end. It speaks of thinking of where all this is going to end. What will be the result of my actions and attitudes? What will all this lead to in the end? What a great question for everything we do - but especially for the one who is being led by his or her own desires into sexual immorality and adultery. Note in the previous verse we learn that the adulteress' speech is "smoother than oil" and that her words "drip honey." She is quite the winder of words, the adulteress is. The problem is that in all the honey-dripping promise - her words deliver something quite different in the end. The latter end of her words are "bitter as wormword." Wormwood is the most bitter taste you can imagine. Commentators say wormwood is excessively bitter. She leaves a bitter taste in your mouth in the end. All promise at the beginning - all bitterness and pain in the end. Think about the broken family - about the STD - about the divorce - about the shame and disgrace. These are the things that will taste like wormwood and cut like a two-edged sword. We don't think like this about sexual immorality because the enemy is doing all he can to keep us from thinking wisely like this. Only think about your pleasure - but never mind the pain that will last for days and years - for what - 15 minutes of pleasure. Pretty stupid trade off if you ask anyone. But we don't think of the consequences of our actions. Instead too many just stumble along like an animal led to slaughter. And they will continue stumbling along - blind to the end of the matter. But the wise will think - will consider - will weigh things not just by the instant gratification they hold - but more importantly by how things will feel a day, a week, a month, or a year later. They will also realize that enough of these "instant pleasure trips" will amount to a lifetime of pain and regret. That is what we need to help us turn away from the adulteress - not matter how much honey she uses to season her lying words. Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings. Proverbs 31:3
Here is a wise mother's advice to her son - and it is all the more poignent because we know it is the advice of Bathsheba to her son Solomon. What is Bathsheba's advice? She tells her son not to give his strength to women. What does it mean to give one's strength to a woman - or in this case to women? The word strength here means to have strength and influence. It has the idea of someone who has a great deal of influence over you - over what you do - and over how you expend your strength. Bathsheba knew from her own sin that it was devastating when a king gives undue influence to women in his life. David chose to give himself and his strength to pursue immorality with Bathsheba. He chose then to give himself to a cover-up of that sin. In the end, David gave himself over to a laundry list of sins including lust, adultery, lying, deception, murder, hypocrisy - and many more just because he decided to give women his strength and influence in what he did. This led to disaster in his kingdom, in his family, and in the history of his life. God's grace overcame all this as David repented and turned back to the Lord. But oh, what a dark chapter of his life was written when he gave undue heed to women. Now, before anyone thinks this is women-bashing, I want to make certain in what situations one is and is not to heed the influence of a woman. In the case of godly mothers and wives - HEED THEM AND LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY! God makes it clear that the influence of a godly mother is vital to a young man. When God gives him a godly wife - it is a good thing the Lord has done. Many a man has been greatly blessed by the influence of a godly wife and mother. But that is not what Bathsheba is saying here. And before anyone thinks this is a rant from a male chauvenist pig - remember - Solomon's MOM is the one giving this advice to him! The kind of women Bathsheba warns against are the ones who lead a man into sin - or at least greatly encourage it. She says to stay away from the "ways" that destroy kings. What a loaded statement this is! Think of all the men who were destroyed by their involvement with immoral women! By the way - the kings chose to be immoral as well - because it takes two to become involved in consentual sexual relations. If we need any examples of this, they abound in our world today. In 2010, the governor of South Carolina was destroyed by his involvement with a South American mistress. Tiger Woods reputation and fame will forever be marred by his involvement with prostitutes. These situations destroy men - and the higher the man - the greater the potential for disaster. Oh, how we need to hear these words from Bathsheba - words of warning most likely tinged with shades of her own regret. Too bad Solomon did not listen to his mother. His latter years were spent in the midst of this ruin - as he sought many wives and many concubines. Solomon probably thought he had it made sexually with somewhere around 1000 different women catering to his every whim and desire. The problem is that he didn't have it made - he made a mess. His immorality and unwise actions didn't just betray his mother - they betrayed all of Israel and more than anyone else - the Lord his God. Because he did not heed the words of his wise mother - Israel was divided and eventually fell. At the core of this fall was a disregard of God's warnings against sexual immorality. Interesting isn't it - we can either be blessed by adhereing to godly wisdom - or we can crash on the rocks of those very warnings. So tell me - which direction are you headed? Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, And pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths. Proverbs 7:24-25
After giving a graphic description of the way a man falls into the trap of the harlot, the Holy Spirit gives a conclusion. God begins by having the father call for his sons to listen and pay attention. Here is a huge problem - and one I understand. Most people know the thing they should do - when it comes to adultery and to visiting a prostitute. The problem is not knowing - it is listening when someone is warning them. Therefore people have to be warned in a way that scares you to death. The first thing that is said to the son is that he does not need to turn aside to her ways in his heart. There is the first problem when it comes to men who get caught up in sexual immorality and adultery. Their hearts are the first thing to go. This manifests itself first in seeing their hearts no longer being given to the Lord. In the third chapter of Revelation Jesus says to the church that they've lost their first love - that love that draws them to the Lord and has them belong to Him more than anything else. I've seen this before in young people - old people - anyone who finds themselves drawn away to sexual sin. They start when they no longer have that passion for Christ. They turn to someone other than the Lord - looking for satisfaction - for something to fill their emptiness. They find that the Lord is not enough - and that they will actually find what they need in someone else. That is how a man allows himself to "turn his heart" to her ways. When his heart is gone - there is a real serious danger - because at that point he probably won't listen. It isn't too much to say - he can't listen - because his heart controls what his ears will listen to in life. Once he has strayed in his heart from the Lord - and into her ways - then he begins to stray into her paths. He begins walking without the normal cautions that he would have naturally. But worse than this is the fact that he is walking without the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He is grieving the Holy Spirit so his warnings are no longer being heeded. This is a very dangerous place to be. When he does stray into her paths - there will not be the protection that he normally has. Thus - it will be that much easier to fall into sin. Here is why we need to watch and pray for our chidlren - and honestly - ourselves as well. The issue is our hearts. That is what we are told earlier in Proverbs - watch your heart with all diligence - for from it flow the springs of life. This is so important - vitally important. THE most important thing that will keep you from falling into adultery and sexual immorality is to watch and guard your heart! |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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