"In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa became diseased in his feet. His disease was severe, yet even in his disease he did not seek the Lord, but the physicians."
When I read this passage my heart sinks for Asa - and those who are offended with God's discipline and correction. Asa was corrected for his actions - that he turned to himself and human means rather than turning to God - to embracing weakness - to embracing a situation where he would have to turn to God in prayer for answers.
Earlier in his ministry Asa did turn to God when the Ethiopians attacked with over a million men. That had to be difficult to experience - facing the thought of your own annihilation - of being so weak and unable to defend yourself - and facing the uncertainty of whether you would survive the attack of the enemy or not. BUT THAT IS HOW GOD WORKS - HE GIVES US TIMES OF WEAKNESS INTENTIONALLY - SO THAT WE HAVE TO EMBRACE BEING WEAK - BECAUSE WHEN WE ARE WEAK IN OURSELVES - WE BECOME STRONG IN HIM.
The problem was that Asa did not want to embrace weakness the second time he faced terrible odds - and the necessity of turning to God. He was proud - and that pride manifested itself when God corrected him. He became angry with God - angry with God's prophet - and eventually angry with even serving God later in his life.
God allowed another need to come upon Asa - a disease in his feet. How appropriate for his situation - diseased in his walk in life/even as he was becoming more diseased in his walk with God. He would not turn to God in prayer for this situation - only to the doctors. He spent, amazingly, the last 2 years of his life in this affliction and even died of it - rather than turn to God. His bitterness consumed him - first spiritually - and then even physically.
Am I willing to embrace weakness? Is pride an issue in my life? I hate to admit it but I know that it is. I don't like being weak - don't like being reduced to nothing save God in prayer. I want to be able to do some things myself (which is nothing more than an excuse to want to do all things myself - the deadliness of pride!). Being reduced to nothing - and seeking God in those circumstances to be my everything is meant to be gloriously hard. It is embracing humility - total humility! And . . . if I will not embrace it - I will find myself diseased in my spiritual feet. I will be unable to walk. I will not turn to my God for that - and then eventually won't turn to Him for anything. All I will have is man-made deliverance - man-made hope - and that is precious little (actually nothing) deliverance and hope.
Embrace humility! Embrace being little . . . being nothing . . . so God will be everything. He is everything - it is only the brief deception and mist of lies of this life that makes us ever think otherwise.
God have mercy on me! I've been so filled with pride. I have been so filled with self-importance and lying self-sufficiency! Oh the sad state of my feet - and my ability to walk in humility, brokenness, and self-emptying trust and prayer before You. Please forgive me the arrogance, pride, and foolishness of this way. Restore me to full reliance upon You - upon Your infinite resources - and upon a life lived in complete dependence on Your grace.