Category: True Influence

Letting Our Light Shine in Such a Way . . . that we do more than march

1/24/2017

Last Friday there was a march in Washington and in many other places. This coming Saturday there will be another march in Washington - and in many other places. The primary result of both marches will basically be that those who participated in them and supported them will be more committed to their previous stances, will feel good because they participated in them, and probably will change very few minds in the process. There will have been activism on both sides with self-imposed monickers like pro-choice, pro-life - while at the same time calling those who oppose them far less positive names like anti-choice and anti-life. But I am concerned that when it is all over what we will have is two groups who are more focused on the other side than they are on those caught in the middle.

Who are those who are caught in the middle? In regard to the question of abortion - it is several groups of people. First of all it is the women who face a pregnancy and what to do now that they know they are pregnant. There is also whatever is in their womb that is at stake. How is this being addressed? Here is where I will begin to make my main point. When Jesus said in Matthew chapter 5 that we are to, “Let our light shine in such a way that people might see our good works and glorify our Father Who is in heaven,” I believe he meant something other than participating in a march. Honestly - considering what He said about the “least of these,” I believe He had in mind stuff more like rolling up your sleeves and serving those who are caught in the middle.

I’ve moved away, in my latter years, from marching much any more. Looking back over 50 plus years now, I see far more accomplished in addressing the abortion issue by rolling up my sleeves and working WITH the women who are caught in the middle of crisis pregnancies. There are plenty of them who have written and spoken saying how grateful they were for a place where they were loved and helped in the midst of their crisis. There are others who spoke through tears stating their gratefulness in having a place that loved them even after they had an abortion. Their thankfulness was for someone telling them and helping them find forgiveness when they thought it was not possible to be forgiven. At last count I don’t remember any women thanking me for marching - at least women who were caught in the middle. Do I think marching is wrong? No, I cannot say that. The right to express ourselves peacefully in a march - and even for some to carry signs with fairly incendiary messages on them (I’m speaking about both sides of the issue folks) is protected under our system of government. There are also times when a peaceful march is needed. But can I be perfectly candid with you who are reading this. Keeping an accurate count of those at a march - that is hard work - and often debated as soon as the numbers come out. Keeping an accurate count of those rolling up their sleeves and being dedicated over time to those women and whatever is in their womb in the middle? That, my friends is rather easy - because the number plummets to easily manageable numbers.

I do attend a rally every year. It is called "Sanctity of Life" day. On this day those of us who come together tend to shy away from street protests and marches. Our celebration of life focuses on God giving each of us, including developing babies in the womb, life. It focuses on the real needs of women who are facing the extremely hard decision of what do to in a crisis pregnancy. We focus on those who are hurting badly because they've had an abortion and wonder if they can be forgiven. We focus on people who have adopted children - and face many hard, day-to-day realities of rearing a child who has everything from reactive-detachment disorder to babies coming off the drugs their mothers were taking while pregnant. We want to encourage them - help them - and be respite families for them when they need a night together as a couple. We do this because we know this will help far more than holding signs with incendiary messages that honestly do far more to infuriate the opposition than win their hearts. It would not be inaccurate to say that these gatherings are about remembering those people who are still in the middle - and celebrating some who have rolled up their sleeves to help.

Oh that we would be able to see that being a "light set on a hill" has far more to do with choices to address the problems of our society with hands-on, very hard, action-oriented solutions - than it does with shouting at - and eventually shouting down those who disagree with us. According to our Lord, that light is visible as people see our good deeds. They see them not in light of how awesome we are (which will do little more than cause us to be proud of ourselves for that self-glorifying awesomeness). They see the motive for our works - as well as the works themselves - and glorify our Father Who is in heaven. At the end of such works there are no congratulations in order for us - because we know what our hearts were like before He saved and changed us. No! All congratulation and celebration is focus on such an incredible Father Who has given birth (through salvation) and reared (through teaching, encouragement, and discipline) such good kids. They honor and glory for the works belongs to God! In doing them our hope is that they will know that we are Jesus' disciples by our love for one another, our love for those who oppose us, our love for the "least of these," and even our love for our enemies. May our stand for life be seen far more often in these ways - than in holding a sign, yelling a phrase, and honestly - doing little or nothing to truly change our culture. If we want to make America great again . . . why don't we try rolling up our sleeves, wading into the mess within our culture, and getting our hands dirty serving, loving, and ministering (and I believe this includes sharing the gospel with them), to those who are hurting because of its problems. If you participate in a march - good! But if all you do is march - and there are not regular marching orders to follow to selflessly and sacrificially fix the problems, your march ended far too soon.

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Why I believe in a Compassionate Pro-life Position

1/17/2017

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This past Sunday was “Sanctity of Life Sunday” in the United States. As a result I chose to teach on abortion and the need to speak up for life. It was a difficult message to preach – and yet one that needs to be heard. Yet in the midst of recognizing that there is a life other than the mother that is involved which needs to be protected, I also wanted to emphasize the need for us to be compassionate as we advance the pro-life message.

I am vitally invested in the ministry of the Pregnancy Resource Center. This is a group of people who are committed to sharing the love of Christ and the truth with women who are facing crisis pregnancies. One of the key things we emphasize again and again in this ministry is the need for every woman who walks through our doors to feel our love and the love of Christ. There is a very good reason for doing this. Let me explain.

The vast majority of the women who walk through our doors do so feeling like they have no other choice than to abort their child. The announcement that they are pregnant hits them like a ton of bricks. For those who are single (as well as some who are married) there is a panic that comes with an unplanned pregnancy. They may be on a career path or in the midst of getting a college education where a baby will seriously derail the plans that they had made. Often there is a sense of dread when family and others learn of their pregnancy. Some, who already are dealing with poverty in their life, are overwhelmed at the thought of how they will pay for a child – and in some cases – another child. These mind of these precious women are often flooded with many different conflicting thoughts.

Then there is the relational issue many of them face as this crisis hits. What about my boyfriend? How will he react? Will he stick around – or will this cause him to dump me? Let’s face a fact – many men are cowards who just turn and walk away from something they’ve helped to cause. And because they don’t have to carry the baby – they feel a freedom (albeit a perverse one) to walk away from the situation they’ve caused. So the young woman who walks through our door has this thought going through her head as well. While we are at it – there are also problems relationally with regard to parents. Will they freak out – even in some cases threatening to disown their daughter because of an unplanned pregnancy? How will friends receive this information? If they are religiously minded – they are also going to face the problem of shame and possibly be ostracized by those around them.

We’ve had women come through our doors who face possible medical problems due to diabetes or other conditions. And in very rare cases (most often not ever revealed to us) they were the victim of a rape or of incest. Since justice in these cases can often result in a court case where they are treated almost as badly as the actual crime, many of these women do not come forward. They simply suffer in silence as they have this horror added to their already emotionally overwhelming circumstances.

Then there are those women who call us because they’ve already had an abortion. What we hear the most from these precious women is that they feel like they will never be able to be forgiven for what they’ve done. They are plagued by a consistent depression over their choice to have an abortion. Some cannot even see a baby without a sense of loss and guilt. They suffer from a PTSD because of what has happened in their lives, but struggle to even tell anyone about it. Therefore many choose to suffer in silence, thinking there is nothing they can do about their abortion.

This is what we face as we advocate for life with the precious women that God sends us. We want them to know that we love them dearly – that Jesus loves them dearly – and that even though we believe abortion is the wrong choice – there is forgiveness available for those who have had an abortion. Make no mistake – I am pro-life all the way. But because of a desire to minister to those women who face the crisis of a decision about an unplanned pregnancy we choose to address every situation we face with a tremendous amount of mercy and compassion. We do this because we know that we may be the only ones who will have a chance to advocate for life in their lives.

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How to Speak Offensive Truth Less Offensively

7/1/2015

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Anyone read facebook lately? Anyone stop reading facebook discussions because of how offensive and incendiary they quickly become? In the aftermath of the United States Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage there have been an avalanche of articles and posts on social media both for and against gay marriage. This was inevitable because people on both sides of this issue are very passionate about what they believe. What does not have to be inevitable is some of the vitriol that begins being exhibited by Christians as things begin to get heated. Whether or not the “they started it first” argument is used or not, as those redeemed by God through Jesus Christ – and – as those who are called to manifest the fruit of the Spirit – we need to learn a very valuable spiritual lesson. We need to learn how to share offensive truth less offensively. Hopefully this article will be helpful in doing so.

First of all – a true confession is in order. I am a recovering offensoholic. In my past I have kind of enjoyed being sarcastic. The ability to slip in truth wrapped in little barbs of sarcasm and veiled insult is a “skill” I am wanting to unlearn as quickly as possible. God is revealing to me that more often than not these verbal darts are not very effective when sharing truths that in themselves are going to be offensive to the person hearing them. The proverb, “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” has sparked repentance for the way I’ve said things more than once. There are times when I finish writing a piece that I have to go through a Holy Spirit edit several times – before I have any peace in posting or sending it. The problem is that in our current situation – barbs and sarcasm will quickly turn what could be a logical, profitable conversation into an all out verbal war. After being nailed by the verbal shrapnel of several of these conversations, I want speak so that if there is a descent into ugliness, it is because of truth shared in love. There is no gain when truth is shared in an effort to win – or to score points with Christians who quickly gather to “my” side. The biblical fact is that God wins in all matters of truth. If I speak His truth with love and a genuine desire to engage in an exchange of ideas, I believe God will use it to do deeper work in people’s lives.

One of the things we must understand is that our culture no longer has any clear authority by which it speaks. Just like in the book of Judges we live in a society where every person is their own authority. Judges 21:24 says, “. . . and everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” That is where we are currently. Therefore we need to grasp that everyone we speak with is an authority unto themselves. Thus when we share the Scriptures, they will not accept them as an authority. Now please understand that God’s Word was, is, and always will be truth. Whether people agree with that or not does not matter – God’s Word is still true. When you try to share this, people will be offended – and often will say things that will be offensive to you. We will be accused of being someone who does not think, someone who holds to antiquated ideas, someone who is brainwashed, or as I was recently called . . . an idiot. Are these things offensive? Yes they are. BUT – this is where we can become even more effective in what we share. Let me explain.

When we are insulted, we have a choice to make. First, we should review what we’ve said to make sure that while sharing the truth, we did not descend into any kind of name-calling or inflammatory statements. Remember, our message itself is offensive to the lost. Paul spoke of the offense of the cross – and Jesus Himself told us that we would be treated like He was treated. People who are already offended with our moral point of view, and who do not know Christ, will more often than not say offensive things. Get used to it – and be ready for the temptation to say similar things back to them. Also know that if you do – the opportunity will no longer be there to influence someone. It will most likely deteriorate into stronger and stronger comments, insults, and end in a verbal barrage and a scorched-earth mental landscape. Once we determine if we said something unnecessarily offensive, we can proceed in the conversation. (By the way, if you said something you should not have said – apologize. You’d be shocked how many times this begins to disarm the conflict allowing it to move back into a conversation.)

The second thing I am going to suggest may seem very hard, but it will allow you to be able to converse with the person so much better. In order to share it though I need to ask a question. Do you want to know what they think? Please re-read that question because I did not ask if you want to convert to their way of thinking – but – do you want to know what they think. What I’ve found over several conversations is that when I genuinely try to hear what they are saying and thinking, it helps me to share truth with them more effectively. Too many of the conversations I’ve read recently have made a quick trip to the most commonly used arguments against each other. I can almost predict what will be said in the first two or three rounds of statements. What I cannot predict is the reasoning behind them – or the hurts that a person has because of previous barbs thrown their way. If you don’t want to genuinely hear what they have to say – you won’t have any genuine ministry to offer them. But if you go deeper – even being willing to listen or read things you won’t agree with – you will be able to discern what needs to be discussed. You may even find room to offer an apology for how they’ve been dissed and dismissed. If they know you care enough to listen – they may start listening to you.

Once you begin the conversation in earnest – listen for statements that reveal serious conflicts with the message of the gospel. I usually read and listen looking for their source of authority (usually themselves in the end), their view of Who God is (this usually is a hodge-podge of ideas from self, internet sites, and on some occasions actual study of the Bible), and what they see as the problem with things as they are currently. This last concept is basically what they see as sin (which is a word they will almost never use as you do) and what offers redemption or salvation from the problem (again two words they will tend to avoid). From this point I begin to engage the person with questions involving these things: 1) What or who is their authority? (Who or what has the final say in their life) 2) What determines if something or someone is good or bad? 3) What is the problem or problems in life? And then finally, 4) What is the answer or answers to these problems. As I ask questions about these things, I respond to their answers with the gospel – sharing lovingly, graciously, and usually with reference to my sin and how God saved me from the penalty for it. I make a beeline to the gospel – and seek to eventually draw things in that direction. That does not mean that I try to share the “plan of salvation” at every turn. Instead it means that I deal with issues concerning salvation such as: Who is God? What is sin? Who or what has the right to call something sinful? How can a sinful person know a holy God? How can a righteous and holy God love us without being a hypocrite about His righteousness and holiness? What did God do to pay the price He demands as the penalty for sin? These are the things I head to in the end – because they are the things that matter. But in the meantime I also try to understand where they’ve come from – and if there are serious hurts and problems in their past. When these things come up – I want to genuinely care for them, apologize when Christians have been unloving and unkind, and offer real love to them in praying for and empathizing with their offenses.

The goal in all this is to truly love them and share and show them Jesus. This is not hard . . . actually, apart from God’s grace it is impossible! I cannot tell you how many times I have to stop and pray – back up – and deal with wanting to offend back because I’m offended. I thank God that He did not deal with me in this way – because I would have been consumed in wrath very early in His gracious dealings with me. We cannot back up from sharing that sin is sin. We cannot back away from being honest about what the Bible proclaims. This is not love – it is dangerously stepping away from God’s righteousness and truth simply because it may offend. We share the truth – but we do so without the verbal barbs – without referring to the most offensive examples of homosexual activism (or any activism for sinful activity). We speak the truth without name-calling (even if we’ve been called and are continuing to be called names). We choose to ask penetrating questions not just so we can probe their thinking – but hopefully so that they will probe their own thinking as we lovingly share what the Bible has to say.

I go back to John chapter 4 and how Jesus addressed the Samaritan woman at the well. Let’s be honest saints – that situation was made for some serious name-calling. She was a Samartian – she was guilty of adultery – she was an outcast from her own society – she held errant spiritual views – and she was currently in a sexually immoral relationship. Wow, what a list of potential names that provides. Yet Jesus did not use a single one of them. He asked questions – made biblical statements boldly yet lovingly – and eventually through hearing and understanding her – was able to address her deepest spiritual needs. Her need, by the way, was not to be proven wrong in an argument. She needed living water. The result of that conversation was that her sin was boldly and lovingly addressed, she was drawn to admit her sin and turn to God, and finally – she became a witness to others of God’s grace as she was saved. Now that is where I want to see a conversation go in the end! Just one more comment though – as you learn to do this not everyone will be converted instantly – or possibly even at all. But the sound of loving, biblical, redemptive conversations will ring further than you think. Imagine what one would look like on facebook? We’ve all seen the ones that turn nasty – with both sides eventually walking away with verbal bloody noses. Imagine one where the believer does not descend into name-calling of any kind – but – where they endeavor to do their best sharing the truth in love. That, my precious saints, will look very different. It is also what we need to begin seeing more and more as the grace of God is expressed in love through us by the power of the Holy Spirit. So share the truth, precious redeemed ones! Share it even if it carries with it the offense of the cross – the offense of seeing ourselves as sinful and lost – the offense of being in need of God’s forgiveness – and the offense of being available only through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Just DON’T do this one thing – share this wonderful message in an offensive way that adds to the offense of the cross – and does NOT reflect the love and patience of God or the fruit of His Spirit.

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Articles

Letting Our Light Shine in Such a Way . . . that we do more than march

Why I believe in a Compassionate Pro-life Position

How to Speak Offensive Truth Less Offensively

Biblical Articles

Categories

​Articles

Letting Our Light Shine in Such a Way . . . that we do more than march

​Why I believe in a Compassionate Pro-life Position

How to Speak Offensive Truth Less Offensively

Biblical Articles

Categories

Articles

Why I believe in a Compassionate Pro-life Position