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Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol. Proverbs 23:13-14
Just a warning as I begin today's Proverb of the day . . . those who hold that any type of physical punishment on a child is child abuse will be greatly offended at the wisdom God gives us today. With that said - I will go on record as supporting the spanking of a disobedient and rebellious child. We've done it with all six of ours and they seem to have adjusted well - none of them are ax murderers or any other kind of violent offenders. All this being said - mostly tongue in cheek - there are proverbs about child rearing that I find humorous. This is one of them. This proverb begins by saying that we do not need to hold back discipliine from a child. This is actually one of the most "unloving" things you can do to your child. You are ensuring that the child will be used to getting his or her own way - and that they will indeed be a spoiled brat as they grow older. At the very least, you are making sure they will be selfish - and that the lessons they should have learned early in life will be learned with much harder lessons later in life. All children are born selfish and self-centered. This is due to the fall of man into sin. I realize that this particular view runs counter to most educational models of this present world. They believe that man is basically good and that if we just get out of man's way with our oppressive rules and regulations - man would find his own way to the next level of evolution. The Bible teaches that man is fallen - and that given his own way that man will ruin himself eventually. We watch this in our world in general from year to year - decade to decade - and millenium to millenium. But we can watch the same thing with a child. Every child needs discipline. Some will seem to more naturally be given to disicpline - while others are terrors from birth. You can be assured of a different ride based on the basic temperment of the child - but all need discipline. What I find funny about this passage is the next statement. "Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die." Some will try to argue that the rod refers to the mouth or some other ridiculous translation stretch. The rod refers to a stick or switch or some other instrument which you use to strike the child. The word "strike" here is the Hebrew "nakah" and it means to strike or to smite. It speaks of a physical strike. Now the intent here is not to damage the child - but to sting the child with the spanking so as to administer a physical response to disobedience. As the child grows older the striking or smiting should be eventually replaced with reason and understanding. But when they are little the physical pain is to direct them away from the wrong - and eventually into the right as their reasoning skills grow. They learn obedience from what they suffer in this part of being disciplined. What I find funny - is that the Bible tells us that the child won't die when you strike him or her. First, that should tell us that the intent is not to damage the child - but it also reminds me of the way a couple of my kids reacted to being spanked. Some would do all they could to not register any kind of response. Others though could have won an academy award with theirs. You would think they were about to die with the way they carried on about the spanking. We would talk and remind them why they were being disciplined - and afterward would hug them and remind them that we loved them. But during - oh, during the discipliine one would have thought that they were about to die. I think this statement here is for parents - to remind them that some of us do have the more dramatic children who will pitch a fit over their discipline. The second verse - verse 14 then reminds us of the reason for the discipline in the first place. We will strike our child with the rod - and rescue them from Sheol. Sheol is the place of the dead - it is the place where punishment is given until the final day of judgment. If left to themselves, children will run the way of their sin nature. They will not come to Christ on their own - neither will they often see the value of godly discipline and godly character. Character is not a given in a child (or an adult for that matter). Character is built from times of discipline and molding. Those moments honestly, are usually more painful that many of us would like to admit. To withhold discipline and spankings from a child is actually a cruel thing to do. Life is eventually going to administer discipline to us. We face it every day. Waking up in time to get to work is discipline. There are days when I do not find it pleasurable - but I discipline myself to do it for the good. Eating properly and exercising for my health can be a discipline that is not enjoyable. I would prefer eating 25 chocolate chip cookies - but discipline myself not to for the good in the end. I learn to exercise because the 30-40 minutes of discipline results in an entire day feeling good and being able to live a longer, healthier life. Rearing a child to think that discipline is not a part of life is cruel. They grow up wrongly thinking that everything is going to be easy and fun. I am not one of those who think we should make all learning fun. To be honest - some learning is just - well learning. It is hard to memorize - but it bears such wonderful fruit. It is hard to discipline myself to read 4 chapters of the Word every day - but it has yielded a strategic grasp of the Bible I could not have gotten any other way. Discipline is part of life. Proverbs itself tells me that reproofs for discipline is the way of life. If we lived in a pefect world where selfishness and self-centeredness were not affecting us - we could live in a world without discipline. But we do not. We live in a world where people are selfish - where we ourselves our selfish. That is why we need discipline. And those who receive it early in life from loving parents are far better off than those who think they are blessing their children by withholding it. POSTSCRIPT: Recently, individuals have quoted articles from this section and stated that we teach child abuse at Calvary Chapel Jonesboro. To this I feel the need to respond. First, biblically, we are told that if we have a problem with our brother to go to our brother - not the internet - and confront our brother. To date, these individuals have yet to contact me to discuss these things. That should say volumes in itself. Second, we do not teach child abuse at our fellowship. This blog is an endeavor to teach what is in the Bible for the edification and upbuilding of God's people. Anyone who has been to our fellowship knows that in our classrooms we administer NO physical discipline. We correct with words and with "time outs" and eventually with a report to parents. From our nursery throughout every age group our people are instructed NEVER to administer physical discipline. We believe this right alone belongs to a parent. Even then we teach the following about any application of physical discipline. Discipline is about the heart of a child. Physical or corporal punishment is ONLY to be administered in a spirit of love for the child. Teaching and loving verbal correction is key - as is prayer for the child's eventual salvation in Jesus Christ. Any physical punishment administered due to anger or rage is out of line and wrong. The parent is to discipline the child with appropriate discipline - not abuse. In the end the child should be taught - and in every circumstance hugged, loved, and prayed with after any physical punishment to assure them of our love. The idea of a "beating" is completely out of step with what the Scriptures are teaching. Instead the idea of loving discipline is intended.
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Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse; He who guards himself will be far from them. Proverbs 22:5
Perversity . . . why is it wise to avoid being someone who is perverse? That is the subject of today's proverb of the day. The perverse man is the crooked man. This word is used to describe someone who is morally, religiously, and socially given to perversion. We read elsewhere in Proverbs 11:20 that God hates the perverse. So this kind of lifestyle is one that we want to avoid at all costs. God says that thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse. It is interesting that the perverse man thinks that everything is fine with him and with his lifestyle. He may even feel that he will get ahead if he twists a few things here and there. But the truth is that he is navigating a way that is full of thorns and snares. We see this best when a banker or businessman is finally caught after being morally bankrupt. The day comes when he is eventually caught in one of the snares. The day comes when he faces the cost of walking through thorns. The scrapes begin to add up and the scars make his skin ugly over time. The snare that catches him trips him up all at once - and usually comes with a humiliating set of consequences. What are we to do about these things? Scripture tells us that we need to "guard" ourselves from them. The word "guard" here is our old friend "shamar" and means to be watchful and careful. It means to set up a watch like a bodyguard over our lives. We should have signs set up in our lives that say, "beware, perversity is near" and then avoid those paths and choices like we would the plague itself! This is the wise and circumspect choice. This is the way to avoid thorns and snares. This is the way to walk a life that will be blessed with protection here and now - and great reward in the end. To do righteousness and justice Is desired by the LORD more than sacrifice. Proverbs 21:3
This proverb reminds me of the story of Saul and the Amalekites. Saul was commanded by the Lord to destroy and utterly wipe out the Amalekites. They are a picture of our flesh - and we are reminded that our flesh can in no way be compatible with the working of God's Spirit within us. Therefore we need to learn to do what God desires. We need two things. We need to embrace righteousness - which is simply viewing what God says as right as right - and justice - which means that we believe that God's judgments on things are true and just. Saul decided rather than doing what God said (what is right) and executing God's judgment on the Amalekites (what is just) - he would have his own self-styled obedience. He got rid of everything despised and bad in his own eyes among the Amalekites - but kept all the good stuff (at least what his flesh thought was good) alive. When caught in this sin by Samuel, Saul said that he kept it so that he could sacrifice it to the Lord. Samuel's statement to Saul was that God desires obedience rather than sacrifice. What the Lord desires is our obedience to His righteousness - and His righteous commands - rather than any kind of self-styled 10 commandments we would write out for ourselves. The Lord is the wise One and He knows what is right. Our own hearts and wicked and desperately sick - so how can we honestly even know what is right without His revelation to us? The Lord also desires justice. He knows what is just - and calls us to call 'em like He sees 'em. This is what he wants - rather than our pretended sacrifice. Most sacrifices that are done with no real thought for righteousness and justice in God's sight are done for show rather than for true sacrifice. The nature of our flesh is just like Saul's actions. We will gladly label what WE think is wrong and bad and dispose of it. We'll pick the really bad looking stuff - and be rid of it - while the deeper most insidious corruptions of the flesh remain untouched. This is why we need the Spirit of God to work in the process of sanctification. Without His work in our soul we will avoid the real deeper issues of purity and godliness. But when He works to reveal what is right and just in us - He will guide us in a true sacrifice of self to the Lord. This will be the kind of choices and the kind of lifestyle that will truly please the Lord - and - the one that most reflects the righteousness and justice the Lord desires in us. The sluggard does not plow after the autumn, So he begs during the harvest and has nothing. Proverbs 20:4
Planning and preparation for the future provision is something that God encourages. Here we read about the sluggard and lazy man again. We read about how he does not want to work when he should be working. In the autumn a good farmer should be plowing so that he is ready to put in a crop. The sluggard does not want to plow - because he cannot see past the nose on his face when it comes to the future. Instead the sluggard has many more important things he thinks he needs to be doing. Most likely these things are play rather than work. So he applies himself to his own lazy pursuits and pays for it dearly in the end. We read that when the harvest comes, the sluggard is begging for food. He has nothing because he has done nothing. While those who have planned and worked hard reap the fruits of their labor, the sluggard is looking at the big pile of nothing his laziness has provided for him. He is out begging - and playing the poor, pitiful me card. I'm about to say something that needs to be said in our society. There are two kinds of needy people in the world today. There are the truly needy who have fallen on hard times. They are willing to work and desire to do the right thing - but for reasons beyond their control either health or other factors have put them in need. These people deserve our help and support through their difficult times. We want to offer them a hand up - because that is what they truly want - a hand up - as they regain their footing. They do not want a hand out - because their desire in the end is to be working and being self-sufficient once again. The second kind of needy person is the sluggard. He is the one who is needy because of his own lack of character and neglect. He does not work hard - he doesn't want to work at all. He is lazy and preoccupied with his leisure and desire for others to provide for him. To help this man is to hurt him in the end. What this man needs is to experience hunger and true desperation. He will cry out that others who are diligent and hard working have an unfair advantage. He will cry out that they get all the breaks - while he gets nothing. He will cry out that what government should do is tax and take from the diligent and give to those less fortunate. The problem is his "less-fortunate-ness" is his own doing - or lack of doing as this verse points out. To reward him with provision is to simply encourage him to continue in his laziness. What the sluggard needs is not a hand out - but a hand upside his head. He needs a serious reality check - and some hard knocks that will shake him out of his lethargy. Scripture never begrudges providing for the truly poor and needy. But the same Bible that speaks of giving to the poor - also warns us that some of the poor are that way by slothful choice. These are the ones who need more than just some help financially - they need a serious fundamental moral change when it comes to their work ethic. When we offer them THAT help - we are truly helping them where their need is greatest. Many will seek the favor of a generous man, And every man is a friend to him who gives gifts. Proverbs 19:6
Before I went on my recent diet I must confess that I was a somewhat regular visitor to a local donut shop. While visiting there I saw part of this proverb fulfilled on a regular basis. I would watch well dressed businessmen come in and buy two dozen donuts of various types and then head out for their important appointment. Now I do not think these businessmen were donut freaks - they were just using the donuts to gain access to a customer. Every man is a friend to him who gives gifts - especially when those gifts are donuts early in the morning. Some proverbs are meant to help us understand human nature. This is one of them. The fact is that many men will seek the favor of a generous man. The word for "generous" here means more than just someone who is giving. It also means a noble man - one born of nobility - which also usually means a wealthy man - and one connected in such a way that he has power. The simple fact of life is that many will seek this man's favor because of what he offers to them. This is why people in high positions should be careful about those who are courting their favor. It is a very rare thing for people in these kind of positions to find people who want nothing from them but friendship. The man who gives gifts will have many friends. But - there is a flip side to this as well. If you have the majority of your friends because of how generous you are - be careful to seek to court true friends in the midst of them. When the gifts cease often so does their friendship. That is why you want no only to be generous toward others - but also discerning. Generous because it is a good thing to learn to be generous toward others - but discerning as well because you also want to know who are real friends are in life. In the end - they will be the ones who will stick with you no matter what your bottom line is - or what your gifts will help to make theirs. The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; The fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook. Proverbs 18:4
Deep waters . . . that is how the Bible describes the words of the mouths of men. They can be deep waters. You hear what they are saying - but do you fully understand what they really mean. The times where I thought I knew what someone was saying - and found out later I did not yet know as I should have known are more than I care to remember. This is why miscommunication happens so often. It is because many of us are very deep wells. We say something out loud - but the meaning of what we've said lays much deeper within us. To try to fully understand it we'd really have to take an expedition into the deep recesses of our minds and our souls. The fountain of wise is much different. It is a bubbling brook. God offers to us much wisdom in the Scriptures. Contrary to what some people say - the vast majority of this wisdom is easy to grasp. The Bible is not a hidden document that requires some kind of decoder to understand. It is plainly written and says very plain things in very plain language. There is a beautiful Scripture that helps us understand how God's Word comes to us as a bubbling brook. In John 7 Jesus said that if we thirsted and drank from Him, out of our innermost being would flow rivers of living water. Then we read that this is the ministry which the Holy Spirit would bring to our lives. Do you realize that God has given you a teacher, the Holy Spirit, who desires to be rivers of living water in your life? Do you realize that God wants to have His wisdom flow in rivers of living water from you - and within you? There is a fountain of wisdom the Lord wants to manifest in and through you - a bubbling brook of water that will refresh your soul and grant you wisdom when you need it during your day. Learn to turn to the Lord for that wisdom - for grace to deal with decisions and difficult situations in your life. It will not be like one drawing water from a deep well - but rather will be the Lord working by His Spirit - bubbling up the wisdom you need from the Scriptures - and giving you the guidance you need for each and every situation. James put it this way, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God and it will be given to him." Turn to God with all your questions and decisions - then trust Him to grant you that bubbling brook of wisdom as His Spirit brings His Word to your mind. An evildoer listens to wicked lips; A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue. Proverbs 17:4
What does it say about us if we are willing to listen to evil thing and to wicked statements? What kind of lesson should we learn from the shame of having listened to someone who says damaging things about others - and their motives are far from pure in saying such things. Anyone who lives in this world knows that there are plenty of people who speak with wicked lips. It is a liability of living in a fallen world that this is the case. So the fact is that we will hear plenty of wicked things said each wek we are alive. But the proverb does not speak about over hearing wicked things being said. It speaks to those who "listen" to these things. Listen is the word "qasab" and it means to listen carefully to something - to pay attention and to give heed to it. Most of all this kind of listening intends eventually to obey what it is listening to when it hears. This is why we read that an evil DOER listens to wicked lips. It is because they listen with an intent to obey and to be influenced in a bad way. When we pay attention to those with a "destructive tongue" we have another problem coming in the future. The destructive tongue is one that speaks so as to cause destruction and calamity. The word in the Hebrew has the idea of someone who has a destructive desire toward others. Here is something that unfortunately has run amok in our society. We have people seeking to destroy others with their words. They want to destroy and cause havoc with what they say. Too often this is the level of political discourse in our country. We have both sides desiring to destroy the other with their words. What everyone pretty much knows is that whatever is said is either blown out of proportion, or is a total lie altogether. Thus, when we listen to such things - we will find ourselves eventually lying just like the ones to whom we listen. Thus the proverb warns us that a liar pays attention to these things. Those who constantly listen to lies will in time speak the same way as they are hearing. These things both begin with what we listen to and pay attention to in our lives. In time what enters our ears will make its way to our hearts - and we know from the Word that what is in our hearts will eventually come out of our mouths. This progression is unavoidable. Therefore we need to heed closely the admonition of Scripture, "Be careful what you listen to!" Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; Assuredly, he will not be unpunished. Proverbs 16:5
If you even wondered how God feels about pride, this should be enough to cure you of ever wanting to be "proud in heart." Let's take a look at this thing called "pride" and see if we can avoid its pitfalls. Pride here is the Hebrew word "gaboah" and it means a high, exalted, and proud demeanor. This particular proverb speaks of how dangerous it is to be "proud in heart." How dangerous is this particular heart condition? God says He finds it an abomination to be in this condition. It is not just dangerous - it is eternally deadly! Pride is having an exalted attitude of self - and a very pitiful mindset toward God. This is the condition of fallen man. Man is fallen - and he has falllen into this sin of pride. At the core of this sin is the idea that we are able to handle things ourselves and that we do not need God. It is an attitude of independence from God and dependence upon self. When man chose to disobey God in the garden - he chose to live by the knowledge of good and evil rather than by the spiritual life that God would have provided by his grace and free gift. Man decided he wanted to be like God by his own efforts. He wanted to decide what was good and evil on his own. He wanted to trust in himself - rely upon himself - live for himself - and make his own destiny. Oh, one last thing - all these things he would be doing for himself - he would also be doing them for his own glory, honor, and praise. Here is the crux of the human condition of arrogance and pride that is at the very core of sin. This pride began with Lucifer himself - who in Isaiah made the comment that He would raise his own throne above that of God and He would have the honor that he was created to give to God. Oh, how this arrogance reeks before a holy God. What is interesting to most folks is that often they don't get this whole "pride" thing. In fact - many - when they hear that God wants man to give Him the glory - accuse God of pride. Here is where the greatest disconnect from the fall is manifest in the hearts of wicked men. They are so blinded by their own arrogance that they don't see God for Who He is. This is why God has to reveal Himself to us through the Scriptures - because we are utterly blind to Him in creation and in our own beings. Scripture says that the heavens are declaring the glory of God. Man . . . he invents a theory that says that we are a cosmic accident - a happenstance that just eventually had ridiculous levels of order and design. So man denies the existance of God. Scripture tells us that when we consider the human body we should come away with the thought that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Man . . . again decides that we are what the primordial slim just accidentally belched forth over billions and billions of years. Man will negate God every way that he can - because man will not tolerate a God greater than Himself. In the rare instances when he does - he wants that god to have all of his problems and idiosycracies. At least that way he can continue to exalt himself in his fallenness. In the rare instances where we see a human being accosted by the glory and majesty of God - the human suddenly hits the deck - falling on his face. He trembles and fears for his life. Even godly men, when experiencing the power and glory of God - are so struck with awe and wonder - that they struggle to breathe. Man faces the truth - there is One greater than himself - there is One to Whom he is accountable - there is One Who is responsible for his very existance - and - there is One who is grieved and angered by his unbending arrogance. That is why this proverb tells us in no certain terms that this arrogant, prideful heart is an abomination to God. That the one who has such a heart will be punished for it. We are told bluntly in proverbs 16:5, "Assuredly, he will not be unpunished!" There it is for mankind - put as bluntly and as clearly as anyone can put it. A prideful heart is a horrific condition - one that is dangerous and deadly - and one that reminds us that God has every reason to bring punishment upon man to the fullest measure. Yet - the astounding reality shown to us in the Scriptures is that God, Who has every right to condemn us and punish us - chose instead to reveal His glory the brightest by having His own Son face the ultimate cost for our wickedness and pride. His glory shines with full force in the grace He has made available through the crucifixion, death, burial, and resurrection of His Son. Truly - He is a God of inestimable mercies! A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
How we speak to others can either offer them a healing balm or a crushing blow. As we've read in Proverbs, the tongue has amazing power as it speaks words. That is also the case here - where we once again have a choice to make - this time with the words that we speak. The first thing we read of here is that there is such a thing as a healing, soothing tongue. The word here means a tongue that offering healing, a remedy. It refers to a restorative cure, a renewal from an illness or sickness. More is learned when we see a comparison drawn up about this healing tongue. It is compared to a tree of life. There is an image that we see a lot in Scripture. The tree of life was in the garden of eden - it is also in heaven at the end of the age. What is most interesting is that the tree of life refers to Jesus Christ. In the truest way - He is the tree of life. So we have another interesting parallel. Those who use their tongue for healing - for the restorative cure are as a tree of life. Our tongues are to be used to spread the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When we do this - we are being a tree of life. THE tree of life is Jesus Christ - and when we share the life-giving, soul-healing message of the gospel - we too are being a tree of life. Remember that Jesus said that He was the light of the world - and He also called us to be the light of the world as we share the truth with others. Here we have the parallel - He is the tree of life and we can be a tree of life as well, sharing the gospel which is the only source to heal and remedy man's sin. There is another way that our tongues can be used though. We are told that when we have perversion in our tongues a different we see different results when we speak. Perversion refers to a distorted way of speaking - a deceitfulness which is said to come from a perversity, not just in how we speak, but in our very life and character. This fits the biblical description of the ungodly man - whose mouth speaks out of the abundance of what fills his heart. Perverse lifestyle equals a perverse mouth. The problem here is that when this man speaks - it crushes the spirit. The word for crush here is "seber" and it means to cause destruction and ruin. It means a fracture or a breach. When a man speaks in this perverse way - it is like a fracture in a leg or a breach in a dam. It causes great ruin in people's lives. Whereas the godly man's tongue brings a healing and a remedy - the perverse man's tongue only causes more damage in our already damaged world. Think of the number of times someone spoke perversely to you - and the destruction that such talk brings. Some might think it prudish to avoid such talk - but if you've watched the coarsening of our culture in the last 30 years - you know that such perverse speech only weakens our society. Even worse is the perversity of those who deceive with their perverted speech. Lies only bring destruction in the end - and the way that it crushes a spirit when the truth is learned is devastating. Thus, the perverse man crushes people's spirits. We've seen this several times in the book of Proverbs. The mouth and the tongue are very powerful things. The words we speak really do matter. As was said at the beginning of this meditation - those words truly can make or break a person's spirit. Be wise and use your tongue as a tree of life. Speak healing words to others and guard your tongue so that it is not loosed in talk that will crush the spirit of those who listen. In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, But the lips of the wise will protect them. Proverbs 14:3
Oh, how the mouth of the foolish boasts. This is seen again and again in our society. In fact, we now have a whole type of speech devoted to prideful talk. Trash-talking is popular today among those in sports. The dangerous thing is that this type of talk is slowly morphing its way into regular life as well. This will not bode well for our society - as pride is never a good thing among the conversations of men. Biblically there is a great picture of this very verse. When David fought the Philistine champion, Goliath, there was some serious "trash-talking" going on from Goliath. He laughed at David and disdained him publically in front of all the troops that day. HE bellowed that he would give little David to the birds of the air when he killed him. You can hear this boast echoing through the valley just as 40 previous boasts had done for the 40 days he had been bragging about his pwoer and abilities. In his mouth was a rod for his back. The literal translation of this phrase is "rod of pride." Interesting that the Hebrew language would have such a phrase. But it only shows the way that pride does give God a rod which He will use upon our backs to discipline us for our arrogance. Goliath's boasts ceased - because he lost his head - literally. He thought he could destroy David with little effort. In the end - his arrogant words were a rod of pride that struck him as a rock sunk into his forehead. As the sword severed his neck - Goliah - once a hero and champion - would forever be known for his defeat at the hands of a ruddy little shepherd with a sling, stone, and a trust in the living God. The wise have lips that protect them. They are careful about what they say - and how they say it. The old WWII phrase "loose lips, sink ships," is in order for the wise man. Far too many have not watched what they say and have paid for it dearly. David is a good example in this story as well. He did not go out and make empty boasts. He did not try to one-up Goliath at his "trash-talking" game. He simply referred to his God and reminded Goliath that though he came with superior "human" firepower - David relied upon an omnipotent God to win the day. David's words were far from proud and arrogant. They were humble words that relied upon Jehovah God for strength. In the end, David's words protected him from not only arrogance and presumption - but also from Goliath's attack. We need to be wise - and watch what we say. It is protection for us to stay as close to what the Scriptures tell us as possible. Our protection is given to us by a God who loves to act strongly on behalf of those who look to Him. Rather than have our words be the very whip that disciplines us - they become a shield that keeps us from harm. |
 Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. 
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