Category: Persuasiveness

Bone-Crushing Gentleness? - Proverbs 25:15

8/27/2012

By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone. Proverbs 25:15

Today's proverb has to do with the power of persuasion - especially when the one who is to be persuaded is someone in authority, like a ruler or a king. How is it that we persuade someone so high in office? The answer might shock you, because the Lord says that it is not the forceful man that will win the day. Patience and gentleness have much greater power to persuade than a blustery, arrogant person.

Forbearance is what is needed, according to our proverb. The Hebrew word here is "orek" and it means something long or lengthy. It describes physical measurements. The word used to describe the length of Noah's ark as well as to describe things like large land measurements. But what is measured as long in this passage is the patience and willingness to stick with one's cause before someone in authority. The idea is that a person forbears the fact that the ruler has a different opinion - and seeks to bring the powers of persuasion to bear on him over time. Most rulers are not given to quick swings in opinion - and when they do - it has the danger of not lasing long. The influence of the wise man is applied to a decision over a long period of time. That is one reason he is effective in getting the ruler to think and reason as he does. William Wilberforce spent his entire lifetime forbearing with those who differed with him on the issue of slavery. Yet he held to his views and continued to persuade men by holding them no matter what the outcome of votes within Parliment. In the end, his willingness to remain in the fight and stay there for years won the day for him and his cause.

There is a second tool that a wise man uses in persuading a ruler. We are instructed that a soft or gentle tongue can break a bone. What a powerful picture that is for us - and yet how contrary to the way that many of us are wired to think. It is not boisterousness and bravado that win the day with the ruler. It is the wise, soft spoken and gentle man who can eventually persuade the king on a matter. Consider Daniel for a moment on this matter. He was a very wise man who had tremendous influence on the king. Yet we do not have a single passage where Daniel speaks impassioned words to the king. Joseph was the same way. He was a man of controlled passions when it came to his dealings with Pharaoh. This kind of strength under control allies great power. The king and the Pharaoh came to have great confidence in these godly men. Their words - though gentle in their presentation - were powerful and could accomplish much.

Of those who led with forbearance and gentle words, Jesus stands more significant among all. He was patient with His disciples - and submitted Himself to God and even to others when He Himself had once sat at the right hand of God Himself. He spoke in ways that made men marvel - and commanded even the elements to submit to His will. When standing before a corrupt pseudo-court of man - Jesus was able to be quiet - even amazing His captors with His behavior. And when it came to raw displays of power - His simple words, "I am He," in the garden caused a wicked mob to stagger backwards and fall to the ground on their backs. Gentleness bearing great power - Jesus was the epitome of it in life.

Too many in our day think that to be influential you have to be a jerk. They see power as something wielded with an iron fist. You don't take anything from anybody - even someone in a position of authority. Such behavior may get you a temporary rung higher on the corporate ladder, but it will NOT bode well for you long into the future. The "gentle-tongued" man does not make the kind of enemies that the man with the macho attitude. He does not leave a trail of crushed egos and smashed careers along the way. The man who triumphs with power and a lack of gentleness will have many who will cheer for his fall. The gentle man learns to break a bone with the gentle and controlled way that he quietly and consistently speaks for his principles. Thus he comes to the point of persuasioin without all the baggage of his blustery counterparts.

Learn to influence others wisely. Learn to stand in positions of principle steadfastly. Learn to persuade others with soft, gentle, bone-crushing power. The power you access in the process will not be that of the fleshly elite of this world, whose kingdoms are passing away. The power you access will be that of the Son of God - Who remained silent as a lamb before His shearers - and yet who crushed death and hell under the weight of His godly obedience to His Father. There, dear saints, is power!

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Why "Ole Thumper" Needs to Teach Your Mouth a Thing or Two! Proverbs 16:23

2/29/2012

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The heart of the wise instructs his mouth And adds persuasiveness to his lips. Proverbs 16:23

One of the maladies that I face in my life is that I engage my mouth too often without fully engaging my mind as to what I am going to say. That particular malady results in another and that is that I find my foot often lodged in my mouth shortly after the first malady manifests itself. Needless to say today's proverb was eye-opening to say the least. I learned that what truly needs to be engaged before I speak is my heart - which is to be what instructs my mouth before it engages in saying what "ought" to be said.

The heart of a wise man instructs his mouth what to say. Some might say that if this were the case all we would say is, "thump, thump" in a rythmic fashion. (Oops, there I go again!) But the Hebrew concept of the heart is a wondeful one. The heart refers to the immaterial inner self - or what the Holy Spirit would refer to as man's spirit. This is considered by the Hebrew mind to be our inner nature - the workings of our mind as it is instructed by the Holy Spirit using as His primary text, the Word of God. Thus the mouth is instructed by none other than the Holy Spirit Himself - who takes the Word and uses it to instruct us, through our spirit, so that our mind is taught. This working then brings to our mind things that should be filtered out - or in some cases filtered in.

Scripture, for example, instructs us in Colossians 4:6, "Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." What a great instruction for our mouths. Therefore, as the Spirit does this He asks us, "Hey Bubba (sorry, I live in Arkansas and this is pretty effective here), is what you are going to say gracious? Does it have a little 'salt of the gospel' in it - so that it will make whoever is hearing you thirsty for God - and the gospel?" Something else the Spirit of God might ask is this, "Yo Bubbba, did you think about what this person truly and lovingly NEEDS - or - are you just spouting off what you want to say to them?" These are things that will truly alter how you speak - because in all honesty - not even our words belong to us. We were bought with a price - therefore we are to glorify God with our bodies - which, by the way, includes our mouths!

Here is another way our mouth can be instructed by the wisdom of the Spirit of God. He may choose to remind us of Ephesians 4:29 which says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." So this time the Spirit of God may chime in with something like this. "Dude (this is when I am in California), is what you are going to say wholesome, or does it smell like rotten fruit or nasty-smelling fish! Are you going to build up your friend - or just confirm him in the same worldly ways that his other friends speak? Like, you totally need to think about what he NEEDS right now! Have you even heard what HE'S been saying at a heart level in this conversation and others? Don't be a total bogart man - give him some grace - some love brother - some real helpful, encouraging, gospel-smelling stuff!"

Now, apart from the regionalization of all this in my language - there are a few VERY important things we can learn from just these two examples. We learn how the Scriptures would be used by the Holy Spirit to instruct our mouths. First, note that in both examples the Lord wants to instruct us to think of others as we open our mouths. Second, note as well in both examples that the Lord wants us to have our words abound with grace as we speak. Lastly, there is either stated or implied that our words are to be used to build others up - not tear them down. You can take these three things to the verbal-bank! We ought to write them on the inside of our mouths, so to speak, so that we are reminded that any word that proceeds out of them should be - 1) others-minded, 2) filled with grace and the gospel, and 3) encouraging! Can you imagine the difference that would make in a matter of days in the things we say!?

The rest of today's proverb reminds us that when we do this - our hearts will help us to have additional "persuasiveness" added to everything we say. I have known people like this in my life - and they are amazing people. They are the E.F. Hutton's of the spiritual world - and in many ways the world in general. When they speak - people listen! The amazing thing is that this is not because they have "earth-shaking" things to say every time they open their mouths. It is more because you will be blessed and uplifted whenever they speak! You want to hear what they say - because it nourishes your very soul to hear it.

Precious ones . . . let us not be people whose mouths are instructed by our culture - or by our own selfish motives - or by the evil one who would love to use our mouths for his own destructive purposes. Let us be people of the grace-filled, love-overflowing, life-encouraging, Spirit-instructed mouth! Let us embrace hearing what our hearts have to say about what words we should use. And as we listen to this soul-nourishing instruction for our mouths - may we submit our hearts to be ruled and governed by the Holy Spirit of God. May His tutelage dominate our conversations, our statements, and our answers so that others may be blessed - made thirsty for the God who speaks through us - and hungry for the same gospel grace that has changed our hearts, which is the very reason that our conversation is so different!

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Having True Influence and Persuasiveness - Proverbs 16:21

2/25/2012

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The wise in heart will be called understanding, And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. Proverbs 16:21

How can we increase our influence and persuasiveness with people? That is the question that Solomon answers today in our proverb. It has to do with being wise in our hearts before we decide to open our mouths. It also involves us learning to discern what do say in different situations in life - then saying it competently.

The wise in heart will be called understanding. Wisdom enters our hearts when we turn to the Lord as our primary source for learning and understanding our world around us. Proverbs chapter 2 reminds us that as we seek God for His wisdom and open our hearts to what He desires to teach us, "Wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will guard you, understanding will watch over you." (Proverbs 2:10-11) When we have wisdom enter our hearts - we will be able to distinguish between things that honor and please God, and things that are worldly and please our flesh. When we have this ability the Spirit of God will teach and train us in the way of wisdom. The passage here says that we will gain a reputation over time - of being a discerning person. That is what the word "understanding" means here. It means to be someone who due to wisdom - can now understand situations and circumstances that cannot ordinarily be understood from human wisdom alone.

As this discernment increases and begins to catch the attention of others, There will also be multiple opportunities to speak that wisdom to benefit those around us. But Solomon offers us a little instruction. If we will use pleasant and sweet speech when speaking that wisdom to others - we will have our persuasive abilities increased. A harsh word or a mean-spirited one will stop communication before we can ever communicate wisdom. That is why we are warned to increase our persuasiveness by speaking with kindness. We are to speak the truth - but speak it in love. If we do not - often we will be tuned out and our opportunity to influence people for the Lord will be stopped.

We need to be men and women both of wisdom and of gracious communication of it. That will allow us to have the maximum amount of persuasiveness as we share the truth. Too often people want to share truth - but with too harsh an edge. Love people and speak the truth to them. As you do you will gain a repuatation for speaking sound and good things in your counsel. You also will have that counsel regarded - and appreciated by many who will call you a person of great discernment.

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Proverb A DAy

Bone-Crushing Gentleness? - Proverbs 25:15

Why "Ole Thumper" Needs to Teach Your Mouth a Thing or Two! Proverbs 16:23

Having True Influence and Persuasiveness - Proverbs 16:21

Proverb a Day

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​Proverb A DAy

Bone-Crushing Gentleness? - Proverbs 25:15

Why "Ole Thumper" Needs to Teach Your Mouth a Thing or Two! Proverbs 16:23

Having True Influence and Persuasiveness - Proverbs 16:21

Proverb a Day

Archives

Proverb A DAy