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Proverbs 7:1 My son, keep my words And treasure my commandments within you.
The seventh chapter of Proverbs is also known among the Hebrews as the 15th Lesson of Solomon. Here we find Solomon offering wisdom to his son concerning women who would try to seduce him. He also explains to his son in graphic detail the stupidity of the young man who falls prey to her seduction. What we learn from Solomon’s example is that fathers need to teach their sons about the dangers of being seduced by women. Most dads shrink from this responsibility – especially when put in the straightforward language used here in Scripture. This is to the detriment of their sons – and the ability and wisdom they need to fend off such women. It is also to their sons’ demise that they do not warn of how, what I will call, “sudden sexual stupidity syndrome” can strike if they are not careful and wise. That syndrome strikes when men of any age, in the throes of temptation, shut their minds off – listen solely to their sexual desires – and act with incredible stupidity to gratify their desires by engaging in sexual immorality. Before we are finished reading the seventh chapter of Proverbs we will be somewhat shocked at the graphic way the wiles of the sexual seductress are described. The Bible is not prudish when telling us how an immoral woman uses her words and her promises to lure naïve, unwise young men into an evening of sexual immorality. But at the beginning a reminder is given to the young man that we would be wise to remember as well. It is good for us to be reminded that this battle is not going to be won through the use of strategies and methods of the world. What this young man is told to do is what everyone will need to do if they are to win this battle. Keep my words! That is the first point of wisdom. The word “keep” here we’ve seen several times by now in Proverbs. It means to watch over, guard, and be careful about something. Here it refers to what the father is saying to his son. Dads! Do you hear this! You MUST talk to your sons about these things! If nothing else – read the seventh chapter of Proverbs with them. Sexual morality is not something natural to fallen mankind – especially among young men! Our culture has abandoned all biblical wisdom in this regard. Therefore – DAD, SPEAK UP! Your sons won’t have any wise ammunition with which to fight if you are withholding it from them by remaining silent. The book of Proverbs deals with this same issue in chapters 2, 5, 6, and 7 with long discourses by a father to his son. We also have multiple individuals like David, Amon, Solomon, and Samson from whom we can learn the dangers of stepping outside of God’s boundaries for sex. Dads, you certainly don’t lack material – so step up and protect your children – especially your sons! Treasure my commandments within you! That is the second point of wisdom given to the son. Here we need to remember that the commandments are not ours – but God’s. Teach your sons the Word of God. Teach them by example – as you memorize and treasure up Scripture within your own heart. Take the time to search out specific passages you and your sons can learn to fight sexual sin. I’ve put a small list of them at the bottom of this post if you need a place to start. The reason to do this is because God has a promise for those who treasure His Word in this fight. Psalm 119:9-11 instructs us as follows, “How can a young man keep his way pure, but keeping it according to Your Word. With all my heart I have sought You, do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your Word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.” This cannot get any clearer! God specifically says this is for young men wanting to keep their way pure. The way is to watch over your life with the Word of God as your guide for acceptable sexual behavior. Then there is an example. Oh dads, follow this and show it to your sons in your life! It is the example of a man praying he would seek God with all his heart. It is an example of a man requesting God’s help in not wandering away from God’s commandments. Finally, we are told that when we treasure God’s Word within us (which is the same thing said in Proverbs 7) – we will NOT sin against God! One thing to note here is that the word “treasure” means much more than just memorizing something. I had to memorize the Gettysburg Address when I was in school – but I can promise you I did not treasure it. To treasure the Word in our hearts is to value it highly and to consider it riches and great wealth to us! I treasure words that my wife has spoken to me because they remind me of her love. I treasure the words of my children because they remind me of how very dear they are to me. I treasure God’s Word in my heart because He has spoken; He has promised; He has given love to me that lasts forever. Finally, I treasure the Word also because it is my sword in fighting the enemy in my mind and winning the battle against sexual temptation and sin. If ever there needed to be a clarion call to fathers – it would need to be the call to step up and give your son both your word – and God’s Word in fighting sexual sin. Our delinquency on this has led to losing many in this generation to the standards of the world. We see it every day – and as dads we face the same kind of temptations every day. Don’t leave your sons to fight this battle alone! Don’t leave them to enter battle defenseless – absent of any weapons mighty through God to fight this fight! Talk to your sons whether they are boys or even if they are fully grown and gone from your home. Earn that right through treasuring the Scripture in your own heart and fighting the good fight before them. Then speak to them. Have your own moment when as a battle-hardened veteran and commander – you issue your “Be a Man” speech to them. I’m not referring to a “Braveheart” kind of speech – but more of a “Second-hand Lions” kind of speech. The kind where we tell our sons how to live – because we tell them Who and what is worth living for! Being a slave to sexual sin and our fickle desires – that is not living. Experiencing God’s victory over them and then loving one woman well to the glory of God – that men is living! Loving her and also loving the children than come from your union . . . that, my brothers – is worth living for!
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For the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; Proverbs 5:3
What is it about an adulteress - or an immoral woman that gives her power over men? According to what we read in Proverbs 5:3, it is the power of her words. Granted, we know that a woman can use her body to get a man's attention - but very few men on a lustful look will enter into an adulterous affair. What is dangerous is when the "strange woman" begins using her lips and speech to reel a man in for the kill. The lips of an adulterous drip honey. She is filled with compliments and sweet words for the dope who listens. To be honest, part of the reason this works is twofold. First, too often married women don't know the power their words have on their husbands. A man longs for his wife to say nice things about him - to him. (By the way - this is a two-way street! Men don't use their mouths like they should either to compliment and praise their wives). After a period of time, a husband no longer hears nice comments from his wife (which may be partially his fault for being ungodly - or no longer a husband who takes care of things as he should) - and misses being spoken to in this way. Enter the adulterous woman - who comes into his life with lips that drip honey. Oh, how we need to see the additional proverb that says that more flies are caught with honey than with vinegar! (By the way - more husbands are caught with this too - and ladies . . . there are plenty of women who will compliment him if you won't. This doesn't mean he'll become an adulterer - but it does mean that if you don't speak nicely to him - he's just that much more vulnerable!) The other reason this works is because men are stupid. They'll listen to some adulterer who compliments them - not realizing that her compliments are empty. She is using them to bait him into the relationship. Just like a fish bites a lure - so he bites at the compliments of her honey dripping lips - not realizing that when he does - he will be hooked - dragged out of the water - stuffed and put on the wall as a trophy to her feminine wiles. She will come to him with speech that is smoother than oil. He may be a husband who only hears bitter, angry, or resentful speech at home (again usually his own fault - but ladies beware - his failures do not merit yours - just like yours are no excuse for his). When this fool listens to her smooth speech, he does not know nor understand that she is baiting him with it. Oh, dear saint of God - especially if you are a brother in Christ - RUN FROM SUCH WOMEN! When a women who is not your wife or daughter seems to always be offering compliments - it is not a good thing. When you think to yourself that you wish your wife would say the kind of nice things this lady does - realize this - SHE AIN'T A LADY - AND THAT THING IN YOUR MOUTH - THAT'S A HOOK! This is dangerous situation - one that is repeated far more often than I'd even want to consider! You are being set up - and the best thing to do is to run like crazy! Go home fool - talk to your God and then to your wife. This is the wisest thing you can do - and if you don't do it - well . . . get ready to be caught, gutted, stuffed, and displayed as another foolish man who went for the honey-lipped, smooth-as-oil speech of a strange women - and ended up an adulterer! Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways. For a harlot is a deep pit And an adulterous woman is a narrow well. Surely she lurks as a robber, And increases the faithless among men. Proverbs 23:26-28
Why should a man ask for the hearts of his children - especially the hearts of his sons? That is a good question because in our day we are told that our children need to think for themselves - which is true. The problem comes when that statement is made meaning that they should throw off the beliefs and morals of their parents and adopt the foolish morals of society itself. That is not wisdom but the height of foolishness. From what is said here by the Lord in verses 26-28 we will see why this is such a bad thing for the sons of a society to do. The plea of the father is simple - he wants to have his son's heart. He asks for it very plainly - and restates his request so that we understand that for which he asks. He wants his son to delight in his ways. The request is that his son sets or places his heart in the hands of his father. The restatement of that request lets us see that the father desires for his son to adopt and take up his ways. But this is not a request for the son to grudgingly take up his father's ways - but rather that the son would "delight" in them. "Ratsah" is delight and it means to accept something favorably - to be pleased with it. The father desires for his son to enjoy and favor the ways that he teaches him. This is nothing more than passing to our son the same way we live - to pass our morals and our beliefs to them. And we will see in the very next verse why this is important. Whose job is it to pass to the next generation the things of God and the ways of the Lord? It is the job of the father to do this - and if the father does not take this task seriously - the problems of this passage will riase their ugly head in any society. When a son does not delight in the godly ways of a godly father, what results is that the desires of his lower nature take over and head in a hell-ward direction. One of the first things that will show itself is the lusts of his flesh. Granted this is a two way street - for the one he is warned of is the harlot - the immoral woman. The truth is that without the influence of godly fathers, the daughters also turn away from the things of the Lord - and find that their fallen nature takes over in their choices as well. The son is warned that the harlot is a deep pit. In Proverbs 22:14 this deep pit is identified as the mouth and voice of the harlot and the prostitute. She lures one in with her words and with her enticing promises of sex that is beyond that which marital life can offer. The fool is the one who listens to her - draws near - and then falls into this deep pit. And for what reason is a deep pit dug other than to lure the unsuspecting animal near for the capture and the kill. The end of the matter is death and destruction. One finds himself lying broken in the bottom of the pit with no way out. so also is the adulterous one - who begins thinking only of pleasure and ends knowing nothing but guilt and destruction. The "adulterous" woman here is actually the "strange" or "foreign" woman. God warned against these women because of how they would tempt His people to leave Him and worship their foreign gods instead. Interesting is the fact that the vast majority of this alien worship involved sexual immorality and the abandonment of the marriage vow and the defilement of the marriage bed. This foreign or strange woman is described as a "narrow well." The word here for well is "beer" and it can mean either a well of refreshing water - or a narrow pit that only offers entrapment and misery. What I find fascinating about the use of this word is that God encourages us elsewhere in Proverbs to "drink water from your own well," in reference to the sexual relationship in marriage. But when we abandon our "own well," and go out into the streets seeking illicit sexual affairs - we move from our own well to a narrow pit that holds no water - but rather holds us in our sin and disgrace as the illicit sexual activity destroys our families and our marriages. While the foreign woman promises incredible sexual ecstacies to the fool she seeks to entice, the truth is that she is lurking like a predator, ready to pounce upon her unsuspecting prey. Just like the male black widow spider is lured to mate with the female - not realizing that she will destroy and consume him when the act is done - so the fool strolls into the den of the whore not fully seeing that this is not a pleasure den, but a robber's lure. Still, he comes, thinking that this is all about pleasure, when he is about to experience the trigger of the trap that will enslave him. He is about to have stolen from him all that he will truly treasure. This robber is waiting to add to her own lair of prey. She desires to increase the "faithless among men." This faithlessness is called "treachery" in the Old Testament. There is a word we don't seem to use as much any longer. This word means to act as a traitor and to betray someone. Here it refers to those who are married and their treachery toward their wives and toward the Lord before Whom they entered into their marriage vows. How many marriages have been destroyed simply because a man did not remember his vows before God - instead choosing to listen to the lies of his own flesh and the tantalizing lies of a strange woman. Oh, fathers, how we need to do two very valuable things in life. First, how we need to treasure our wives. We need first to SHOW the way to our sons by how we treat our wives and cling to them. You cannot have instruction without example - and in this situation how the world needs the example of godly fathers cherishing their wives in front of their children. Second, we need to have a generation of fathers who desperately want their son's hearts. We need to call to them to cherish the father-son relationship as a place where they can receive wisdom and instruction and warning. We need to love them and delight in them so that they continue to give their hearts to us. Then, when we have that marvelous gift of their hearts, we need to use that trust to teach them the things of the Lord - urging them to a lifestyle and to choices that will bless them for generations. Among these teachings is desperately needed a call to watch their own hearts - covet the strength of their own marriages - and to protect the purity of their marriage covenants before God. For at the window of my house I looked out through my lattice, And I saw among the naive, And discerned among the youths A young man lacking sense, Passing through the street near her corner; And he takes the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, In the middle of the night and in the darkness. Proverbs 7:6-9
I find it not only interesting, but also highly instructive to see that God addresses the issue of sexual immorality several times in the opening chapters of Proverbs. Far from being a book that is out of date and not in step with the times, the Bible is very instructive to any generation that would pick it up and seek to learn from it. The current verses from Proverbs 7 read more like a script from a soap opera than they do the Bible - but that is the dig isn't it. The Bible does address the core corruptions of man - and does so with amazing clarity and color. That is why it can be so instructive if we will listen. This all starts innocently enough. The writer is looking out of the window of his home - through the lattice in the window to see what he can see at night. Again, typical evening in a typical town anywhere in the world. But that is where things, unfortunately in a typical fashion, become not just interesting, but instructive. He sees one "among the naive," one of the simple-minded ones. This is not a compliment - this one is simple-minded because as we will continue to see, he is NOT wise. As he looks he begins to discern something about this young man - he saw deeper than skin deep - and what he saw was not good. This was "a young man lacking sense." The word sense is interesting. It means he lacked heart - he was wanting and very needy - this young man did not have a heart for God - and his heart was in great need of change and transformation. When we get involved in sexual immorality we are among those who lack a heart for God. We are unwise and simple-minded to miss the danger in turning from God to our own fallen hearts. If we are going to stand against the wiles of the devil and those of the world, we need a heart for God. The fact is that these attacks - those that entice our flesh and our eyes and the pride of living our lives as we want - are some of the wicked one's most effective advances. It will take a heart that is regenerated and renewed to stand in these moments. And that is not what this young man possessed. Therefore we continue to read of his demise. We see what a heart that is not turned to the Lord does here. It may not run directly into sin - but it definitely does not take the principled road either. He takes his journey in a bad part of town - at least a bad part for those with sexual immorality issues in their lives. He does not flee sexual immorality as the Scriptures advise. He decides to "pass through" the street near to the immoral woman's house. He wants to flirt with evil - probably thinking he can handle it in the end. The fact is that he cannot handle it - and as he walks near her house - he suddenly finds that he is taking the way to her house. Here is wisdom for us in regard to sexual immorality. Stay FAR from temptation. There are times when temptation will come to you - and that is unavoidable. But for the vast majority of life - our proximity to temptation is a matter of our choice. Now, just because you are near to temptation does not mean you will succomb to it, but the closer you get to sinning - the more likely you will choose to sin. The wise man steers clear of the harlot's house. He stays away from the woman who flirts with him. He avoids the loose-moraled women of the world. But this young man reveals his total lack of discernment by heading near her house. Here is a piece of advice that will pay off for you if you will heed it. When you have a problem with an area of temptation, stay far away from it. When you have the thought that you can go near it - or you have a strong urge to go around it - put that thought out of your mind. This is the prelude to failure and acting out. God will not lead you "hang around" temptation. In fact He instructed us to pray that He would NOT lead us into temptation. When this young man took the way near her corner - he knew within that she would be there. Secretly - at least at a heart level - he wanted her to come out and meet him. To make such a calculated mistake is to make provision for our sin - something the Scripture expressly forbids. Some may read the previous paragraph and accuse me of prejudice and judgmentalism toward this young man. How could I make such strident comments about him? I make these comments because this young man is not fulfilling Scripture - he is ignoring it. Why would he make such choices? Why would he make them when it is twilight? There is a reason - a twofold reason. First, he has every intent in the recesses of his heart to walk in immorality. Why else would he go out near her house after the sun has set? Why would he wait until dark? Another thing we might not be aware of too is that this was the time when prostitutes and women of this type would go out to ply their trade among men who left their morals elsewhere. To go at this hour to this location was the height of folly - and the prelude to disaster as we see later. This young man lacks heart - that is the estimation given to us in verse 7 of this passage. He lacks the heart to stand firm in God's ways and avoid the pitfalls of his own flesh. He starts on a journey near her home deceiving himself of his intention to meet her. He gives in quickly when she arrives to deceive him. He is not dealing with his core corruptions - not being honest with himself that he is planning on being sexually immoral - and he is not being true to God's standards even as he sets out on his unwise course. The attitude of one avoiding sin is absent in his mind. If it was he would know that the wise man views sin as a plague - as a deadly wild beast whose only desire is to catch and devour him. If that were his mindset - he would have fled this scene instead of having walked into it. May God give us grace to do the same! For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom And his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals And his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whoever touches her will not go unpunished. Proverbs 6:26-29
Here we have the "harlot" described for us in very expressive language. Interesting that we don't even call sexually immoral women harlots any longer - but the term is what God uses to describe a woman who has sexual relations with men - and is not married to them. Harlot is the word "zanah" and it means to commit fornication, another word we've left behind in our enlightenment - or should we say, "endarkenment." This word is used to describe anything from adultery and prostitution to fornication and unfaithfulness. It is the word used for the women involved in sexual immorality, and that is what it refers to in this passage. Let's take a closer look at how she is described. 1. She reduces you to a loaf of bread . . . This was the price of a prostitute. What God intended to be a beautiful thing in the sexual relationship between a man and a woman has now been reduced to giving someone a loaf of bread for sex. What a sad picture of how high we fall. 2. She hunts for the precious life . . . The adulteress hunts for our very lives. Too often we see sexual things in our lives without this revelation. We would think twice about illicit sex if we grasped that we were not being seduced - we were being hunted for the kill. 3. Hugging fire . . . The harlot wants us to think of her embraces. She's there to comfort us and bring us pleasure. Interesting that the Scriptures say that when we do this we're hugging fire to ourselves. The harlot promises pleasurable embraces - but would we think of them this way if we were getting ready to hug a burning log to our chests with the result that we'd be badly burned? 4. Burned clothes . . . The result of embracing the harlot is to be physically burned - and what would be burned is our clothes first of all. All affairs seek secrecy. We don't want any trace of our indiscretions leaving any evidence. But in a day when a person had very few changes of clothes - we are told doing this is like embracing fire while thinking your clothes won't be burned. The fact is there is evidence - and just like burned clothes - their will be proof of our unfaithfulness. 5. Walking on hot coals . . . The harlot wants us to think that we can walk into her bedroom without harming ourselves. Yet the Scriptures tell us that doing so is like walking on hot coals and thinking we won't burn our feet. Our "walk" is going to be extremely hindered! That is the result of sexual immorality. We get burned - and that burning severely hinders our ability to walk with the Lord - and sometimes walk much at all. Imagine being laid up for weeks with feet scorched and blistered. Those caught in adultery not only hinder their walk with God - for many it is even painful to walk outside among people because of the stigma attached to their actions. Think first about this - before visiting the harlot. The conclusion to this is a warning - so is the one who has sex with his neighbor's wife! All these pictures - and they are graphic pictures indeed - are what we'll get for a few moments of stolen pleasure. Just seeing these things by themselves - we'd run from the situation - but our problem is that often the pleasure promised - and our blindness to the situation - keep us from seeing all this. God knows that these graphic pictures will help us to see the real danger - the real harm - the real damage that will come from visiting the harlot. The warning is clear - "Whoever touches her will not go unpunished!" This word "unpunished" means to be acquitted - to be declared free, clean, or pure. The one who visits and uses the harlot will not enjoy these things. There will be punishment for adultery - and that punishment is sure. Ours is a visual society . . . and that in itself is often why we get in trouble. The harlot used to be a physical woman alone - and not images we see on billboards, in magazines, and in movies and television shows. But thanks be to God that in His battle against sin He has given us pictures - graphic portrayals that get our attention. He does so to remind us of the dangers of sexual sin. May we see the pictures - be horrified at what they show us - and turn from the harlot at every opportunity for sin. |
 Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. 
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