|
Like a madman who throws Firebrands, arrows and death, So is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, "Was I not joking?" Proverbs 26:18-19
I like to call this the, "Practical Jokes" proverb. That is because it describes what can happen when practical joking gets out of hand. Unfortunately, I've watched a few of these in my day and they can get ugly in a hurry. The proverb speaks to us of a certain madman. This guy is out of control. He is throwing three things in his insanity. The first is firebrands - which are akin to something like a flaming arrow. This crazy guy is also shooting regular arrows. The third thing he is dealing in is death. The first two are easy to understand, but this last one is a little more cryptic. I see the final thing in light of what happens due to the deception. He is throwing around these things that hurt physically - but he is also throwing something that hurts emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. He is throwing "death" - he is killing relationships and injuring people so that they are dead to him emotionally. His actions are hurting things and killing someone's ability to be around him - interact with him - and receive anything from him. So we see three pretty rough things going on here. All three are destructive and can cause great harm. The interesting thing is that since he is a madman - his aim may not be the best. From how this is stated, it seems as if a rather random pattern is being followed in how these things are being shot and thrown. Thus he will not hit everyone, but when he does, it is going to hurt badly. It might even kill someone. What could this be describing? Let's look, because the answer is given in verse 19. Verse 19 tells us that the comparison is to a man who deceives his neighbor - then tells him he was only joking. First of all we need to see that this man does these things to his neighbor. The term here implies more than just a casual relationship. Some passages imply a relationship as close as a close friend or even a lover. What he is doing to his neighbor is that he is "deceiving" him. The word here is "ramah" and it means to intentionally deal craftily with someone. Other ways it is used is to indicate lies, betrayal, crass jokes, and even pulling a trick on someone. That is definitely the case here in Proverbs 26:18-19. What is going on is that a trick or a crass joke is being played on a person by his neighbor, which is pretty much the definition of a practical joke. If we did not know the nature of this proverb through the word "ramah" - things become much clearer as we see that after this man deceives his neighbor - he eventually lets him know about it by saying, "Was I not joking?" There it is - a practical joke, pure and simple. But why is this such a strong statement? Is God adamantly opposed to all practical jokes? From what I read here I cannot say one way or the other. This is just a warning about consequences. A day is coming when the practical joker is going to play a joke on someone and it is going to blow up in his face. He is like that madman randomly shooting arrows. Most will fall relatively harmless to the ground. They won't hit any real target. But every once in a while he will strike something - actually someone. When that happens - problems are coming. In some cases real harm comes to someone in a practical joke. Somebody gets physically hurt - and at times it is a bad injury. In other situations the pain is much worse - because it is emotional and relational. I've actually watched relationships broken forever or for a long time because of a practical joke gone bad. These are very sad things to watch because the joke was meant to be funny (at least to the one doing it - and to everyone watching the person humiliated). But at times the humiliation breeds anger. That is why God warns us about it. In all honesty - when I consider that most practical jokes are done to humiliate someone - or at least to laugh at their expense - I think that a wise man should probably avoid them. He knows that such an action may result in an offended brother. And from other proverbs he knows that if this happens that brother will be very hard to win back. That is why the wise man decides against such actions. But before you think I am a 'stick in the mud' on this issue - you should know that I have been the mark of many practical jokes. How do I respond them? I laugh with those who did them . . . sometimes threaten retaliation . . . and usually end up forgetting them and thinking, "You got me good!" It is good to have a sense of humor - and an ability to laugh at yourself. Just remember that some won't - and when that happens - it's going to be bad - very bad.
5 Comments
 Like one who takes a dog by the ears Is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him. Proverbs 26:17
In order to learn this proverb in the way we will never forget, we should find a large, doberman - whom we do not know - and grab him by the ears and shake him a little. Yeah - don't think you'd want to do that either. Want to know why? Because you'd come out of that situation with one less hand (possibly two if you are slower). I love when God uses pictures that are not only graphic - but pretty funny to consider. This sounds like a bad clip from "America's Funniest Videos." Nevertheless, it is great for those of us who have a bad tendency to get involved in "strife-filled" situations when we have no reason for doing so. There are just some of us who think it is our place to fix every situation where people are having problems. Note several things about this person. First, he is simply "passing by" a situation that is ongoing. He has not been invited to enter it and offer counsel. He just feels that these two people who are fighting need his particular expertise and wisdom. Second, this is a situation "not belonging to him." That removes him even further from the picture - or at least it should. Third, he enjoys "meddling" in other people's business. Add all these things up and you get a recipe for "relational disaster stew!" This is one of those proverbs that needs to be featured in the University of Duh. Anyone with a remote "lick of sense" knows better than to grab a dog by its ears. Do so and you will anger the dog - who will then bite your hand. Do it to the wrong dog and more than just your hand will be attacked. So also is the foolishness of someone who just will not stay out of other people's business. This particular fool won't stay out of other people's ANGRY business. The word "riybah" is used here - and it means strife, controversy, or contention. It speaks of a quarrel or dispute - which often involves open hostilities. Why would anyone want to step into something like that - when they don't even know the people all that well? To do so is stupid! But it seems that "stupid" here just cann't help himself or herself. They insert themselves into the conflict - and later are shocked when they walk away battered and bruised by the words or actions that they run into in the midst of it. Stay out of other people's business! That is something my mother taught me. It has been a very wise saying - and one that I did not know at the time was biblical. Whenever I have obeyed her counsel I was blessed. But I've ignored it a few times . . . and I have the emotional dog bites to show for it! It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 25:24
I find it interesting that a man who had hundreds of wives - felt the need to comment identically on the contentious and quarrelsome ones. This is almost an exact repeat of a previous proverb in chapter 21, verse 9. What Solomon has to say about this is pretty severe. To live on a corner of a roof would be very uncomfortable in Israel. The houses of that time had flat roofs - and Scripture required them to build a wall around the top so that people would not fall off of them. Often they would have a set of stairs on the side of the home that led to the top of the house. But to live there would be very uncomfortable. In the summer months the roof would be unbearably hot with the sun beating down upon the poor man's brow. In the winter, or the rainy season, it would be wet and cold there. Yet Solomon states that this would be better than to be in even a palace with a contentious woman. It might be good for us to see what a "contentious" woman looks like - or better acts like. The word used here is "madon" and its basic meaning is strife or dissension. It refers to a quarrel or dispute that is so filled with anger and bitterness that it cannot be stopped once it starts. That is why Proverbs 17:14 counsels us to abandon such a disupute before it breaks out. But the contetious woman knows no such self-restraint. Her pride and unwillingness to submit to God results in her not only entering into disputes - but even engineering and starting them. This same word is used in Proverbs 18:19 to speak of how strife creates strong barriers between people. The contentious woman doesn't care about this because her heart is already bitter and filled with resentment. Rather than avoid conflicts that result in relational barriers - she fights from hers and builds it higher. A few other verses that use this word indicate to us the following: 1) This kind of contention spreads to other people (Proverbs 6:14, 19), 2) it comes from someone who is hot-tempered and given to fits of anger (Proverbs 15:18), and 3) it is stirred by hatred which is lodged in this woman's heart - which is why she rejects loving, selfless responses and chooses her rage instead (PRoverbs 10:12). What an terrible picture is painted of this contentious woman who loves and embraces anger, bitterness, and loveless rage. Now you might understand why this guy wants to live on the edge of his roof. He chooses this rather than to be in a house with this lady. Life is miserable for him - and he would choose misery among the elements than even a few moments with this train-wreck of a woman. But, honestly for Solomon, such a situation wasn't exactly prevented by having so many wives and so many concubines. Living among that many women vying for the affection of one very selfish, sexually out of control man, could not have been a picnic. This is why the second reference to this circumstance should be used for wisdom in two ways for us. First - be careful not to marry a bitter woman who overflows with resentment and anger. Second - don't create one either by being a man who is unwise in how he approaches the marriage covenant. Be faithful to one woman in your lifetime. And love her in such a way that she will not ever have the problem of being a contentious wife. Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself. Proverbs 22:24-25
Having angry friends will eventually train you to be an angry man. That is the gist of today's proverb. The statement, "do not associate" speaks of friendship. It speaks of those with whom we have close relationships. We are to avoid thos who are "given to anger" - meaning those who give themselves over to their anger. They do not control their anger - their anger controls them. If we wonder what a man given to anger looks like, we receive a little better description of him immediately afterward. He is referred to as a "hot-tempered man." The Hebrew here is very descriptive - referring to this man as a "hot-headed" man. The picture is of the angry man who becomes red in the face as he blows his top. We've all seen that before and need no further description to know about what the Bible is speaking. The reason why we are not to have a friend who has serious anger problems is because of the principle of friendship. Here is the old west version of this principle Those we hang with may be the reason we are being hanged. In modern terms this principle is simply this. We will learn the behavior of our friends. The Bible puts it this way, "Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals." (1 Corinthians 15:33) Therefore if we become close friends with a red-faced man - we will eventually be like him. We will learn his ways. The end of this is even more problematic. We will, through this situation, find a snare for ourselves. The snare mentioned here is that we ourselves will become a "red-faced man." The anger that is in our close associate - will begin to manifest itself in our lives. Just a few days ago I was listening to a message by pastor Ken Graves and he made a devastatingly true comment about those who say that they have an "anger problem." Pastor Graves stated, "You don't have an anger problem, you have a self-love problem." That is a crushing thing to grasp when God first reveals it to you. Of course, this is only true because we pamper ourselves and justify our anger. We don't like it when people treat us badly - because we love ourselves so dearly. People should realize that we are worthy of far better treatment. If they just knew how truly awesome we are - like we know ourselves to be awesome - they'd treat us much better. Therefore we are justified in our anger - because a truly awesome person is being wronged! There, dear brothers, is the snare. The snare is not anger itself - but the self-love that perpetuates it. God commands us to be angry - but not sin - and not to let the sun go down on our anger. There are truly righteous reasons to be angry (and none of them involve a love of self). Jesus was angry when He cleansed the temple courts. His anger was a righteous indignation that His Father's glory was being denigrated by making the place of worship and prayer a den of thieves. But other times Jesus was insulted, called terrible names, and even beaten and crucified - and did not react angrily. Maybe we should associate with Him and learn His ways? The Word tells us that if we take His yoke upon us and learn of His ways - we will find peace for our souls. God's promise is that as we behold as in a mirror the glory of the Lord - we will be changed into that same image from glory to glory. Our character will truly reflect the glory of Jesus temperment. We will be changed from "red-faced" men to being "glory-faced' men. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel. Proverbs 18:19
Here is a proverb that is not difficult to understand, nor is it hard for us to see the ramifications of it in our everyday lives. We've all been in a situation where either we have offended someone, or we've been the offended party. We also all know how difficult it can be to remedy those situations. Therefore today's proverb just helps us see it in a word picture that is very descriptive and instructional. The brother who is offended is harder to be won back to us than a strong city. The literal Hebrew here of the "strong city" is a walled city. To understand this we have to go back to days before there were air forces or artillery shells that could level a wall or a house. In those days a high, strong wall around a city was a formidible defense. When an army went within such a walled city, it was going to be very difficult to defeat them. The victorious strategy in these circumstances would involve a long seige of the city. It would involve starving the people until their ability to resist would be broken. It would also involve a final assault on the wall and the gates where they would be broken through - then the victory was assured. But such a seige might take months - and some of the more famous ones took even longer than a year. Therefore, when a brother is offended - he becomes like that walled city to our attempts to gain his trust and friendship again. That is why Proverbs 17:14 warns us that the beginning of a quarrel is like breaching a dam - therefore abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. Abandon your offensive actions and words - because if they come to the point of greatly offending someone, it will be very difficult to remedy the situation. The second statement speaks of the bars of a citadel. The citadel was the place, usually at the center of the city where a large fortified tower was. It usually was high and barred. It had large stores of food and weapons for a last stand. If all else failed, the last people of the city would go here to try to make a last ditch stand against those who had breached the walls of the city. It was usually the place they would go to fight to the death - to the very last man. Here is the picture shown to us about offending a brother. It is the one that warns us against having contentions, fights if you will, with a brother. Thus, we have MORE than just high walls to scale to overcome the problem of our brother being offended. We have to deal with the fact that even after we've breached the walls - they may retreat to the citadel to resist us to the bitter end. What a reminded to do all we can to be kind and gentle, loving and gracious, and patient and longsuffering in our dealings with our brothers. Too many don't practice such things and wind up seriously offending someone with their words or their actions. They don't think about the back end of such actions and choices. They don't consider how difficult this is going to be to fix. They don't see the walls being erected and the citadel of the heart being fortified against them. They are blind to all this - and blunder on in their offensive statements and actions. They are not wise in quickly diffusing arguments and abandoning quarrels. The sad result is broken relationships and long term bitterness in their familiies and with former friends. Be wise, dear brothers and sisters, and see the value of being gracious and kind when you face a difficult relational situation. See the value of a long-term relationship with the other person rather than just wanting to win that particular argument. Realize that confrontation - even biblical, godly confrontation is something that needs to be approached in love - speaking in love - and acting in love. That may require hard words - but it seeks to avoid hard feelings. It helps us to enter into the problem with our eyes wide open not just to what we want solved, but even more importantly to the person with whom we want to solve them. We never need to forget that we work with people and want them to know two things more than anythinig else. Those two things are that God loves them and that no matter what the problem is - the answer ultimately will involve God's grace. With this is mind we need to respond both lovingly and graciously in all we say and do. That way we won't have to face a lengthy love siege in order to win back our brother. A fool's anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor. Proverbs 12:16
Ours is a society driven by rights and by slights. We are told that we have rights - and as a result of this education we demand them all the time. One of the rights that evidently is near the top of the list is the right never to be offended. That is why we have political correct language that is being ever more strictly enforced in our nation. We cannot say things that will offend anyone else. If the society determines that a certain word or phrase is no longer allowed - that word or phrase is banished from our circles. If someone were so foolish as to speak that word of phrase - he too will be banished - even fired from his job. If he is in the public eye - he will be summarily destroyed and cast upon the trash heap for the foreseeable future - possibly forever. We are the nation with the greatest law protecting free speech (our first ammendment) but also the greatest number of unwritten laws that restrict our speech as well as punish any who dare step over the line. Our proverb today would help us greatly with our problems societally. We are first warned that only a fool's anger is known at once. The fool has no patience, therefore he is often disgusted and angry with others around him. He takes up the slighest offence - whether overt or covert - and becomes vexed about it immediately. The word for anger here is the Hebrew word "kaas" which means to be provoked to anger. The problem is that this man is easily provoked - and lets his anger blow the moment that he is. As we read here - his anger is know at once. He is unable to control himself - and also unable to let things roll off his back like water off of a duck. Every slight - every potential offence is taken to the deepest part of his being and fully embraced. There is little wonder therefore that he has a tendency to lose it whenever this happens. He is offended - angry - disgusted - and filled with rage toward whoever has knowingly or unknowingly slighted him. The prudent man is the one who conceals this anger and offence. He is able to ignore the slights and snubs of life. He is able to deal with the insults and general indignities of living in the fallen world. Because he knows the world is fallen - he is aware that things like this are bound to happen. Because he knows he too is fallen - he is aware of the need to be gracious and kind as he carries on life in this world. He has learned to conceal dishonor. The word for dishonor here parallels the Hebrew word for forgiveness. He chooses to forgive and show mercy and grace rather than demand judgment and justice for every slight. He has learned that the merciful are blessed, for they too receive mercy. Learning to be a prudent and wise man in this way will help you live much longer. The word prudent here is the Hebrew word "arum" which has the idea of being sensible. A sensible man knows that unless he wants his world to be in a continual state of stress, anger, rage, and bitter unforgiveness - he needs to let insults and vexation they can cause roll off of him. By this he keeps his blood pressure down - and his friendships up. If you are prone to become angry and blow off steam in almost every situation beware. You are ruining your own life and living like a fool. Be wise - be understanding - and be aware of the fallen world in which you live. Show mercy and grace - for it will bring you joy even in the midst of a world filled with plenty of ways to become frustrated and angered. A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike; He who would restrain her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand. Proverbs 27:15-16
Here is a proverb concerning contentious women and the problems that come from them. First we read that the contetious woman is compared to a constant dripping on a day of steady rain. Thus we see that such a thing is a constant annoyance. This is someone who will bother us greatly. That drip, drip, drip that we hear will wear on us over time and drive us crazy. Such is the contentious woman. But understanding the word "contentious" is very important for us to grasp what Solomon is saying. The "contentious" woman is the woman who is involved with strife and dissension. This is the Hebrew word, "madon" which refers to a quarrel or dispute that gets out of hand quickly. Once started, it cannot be stopped. These are the kind of disputes that create barriers between people. According to Psalm 80:6 an evil heart is the source of these contentions and bitter arguments. These things come from someone with a hot temper and are very difficult to contain. Thus we see that the "contentious woman" is not someone who disagrees with us, but rather someone who vehemently disagrees and who takes that disagreement to the level of fighting and quarreling. This fighting is not a normal disagreement, but becomes something that can separate people for long periods of time as bitterness and resentment seethe because of the fighting. Too often I have heard of this proverb used to disrespect a woman who respectfully disagrees with her husband. The contentious woman is anything BUT respectful - she is fiesty and cantankerous. She is itching for a fight - and when given the slightest reason to enter one - does so with both feet firmly set in the middle of it. It is not sinful for a woman to disagree with someone - even her husband or a person in authority. That is not what this proverb is about. It is about a woman who is ready to fight, and quarrel, and do so disgustingly. The next verse says that trying to restrain such a woman and her venom is like trying to restrain wind or grasp oil and hold it. It is impossible to do so, because such things cannot be done. Thus, when we come upon such a woman, we should avoid her and keep ourselves clear from her path. She is a dangerous woman - whose actions will prove very destructive in the end. Rather than trying to restrain and hold her back, we need to withdraw from her and avoid her at all costs. What we should remember as we read this is that God places great value on a woman who has a quiet and gentle spirit. This is what God desires - so when a woman goes the opposite direction, it is not only against what He wants, but it places an example before other women that is not only lacking, but it encourages them to behavior that is completely outside of what God desires in a Godly lady. May the Lord give us grace to see such godly women raised up in our fellowships - women whose testimony only makes the gospel of Jesus Christ more attractive and beautiful - like He has made them. When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest. Proverbs 29:9
This proverb I've affectionately named the "Bill Maher proverb." That is because he, along with many other social liberals invite one Christian to sit on a panel with him and 2-3 other liberals. As the program unfolds, this proverb is lived out over and over again. If the Christian is wise at all, he will begin to present biblical truth, and at that point the controversy, the rage, and the mockery begin. The poor Christian is usually shouted down in the midst of making any points - and the end of the matter is that he or she looks like the fool - which was the purpose of the whole exercise anyway. After watching this three or four different times, I came to the conclusion that any Bible-believing Christian who went on this, or other programs like it, was as much of a fool as the other fools sitting on the panel. The nature of a foolish man is to mock the things of God. Therefore when a wise man begins to have a controversy or argument with a foolish man - he needs to know that reason or fair-minded debate will most likely not be involved in what is about to take place. This passage tells us that what will happen is that the foolish man will "rage" against the wise man. The word used for rage here is "ragaz" and it means to shake, tremble, be agitated, be disturbed, or be provoked. As soon as a fool hears the Word of God, he will come to the place where he will blow like a stick of dynamite. The fool recognizes no authority but his own. We read elsewhere in Proverbs that the fool only delights in airing his own opinions - and only respects his own thoughts. The idea of a God Who reveals to us absolute truth is an utter outrage to the fool. He is enraged at the thought of anyone claiming to have a truth that can stand in judgment over his ideas - as accurate and marvelous as they are. So when he hears a wise man (who is wise because he has learned to submit himself to what is revealed in Scripture) start to quote the Bible as an authority - BOOM! - he explodes in a rage against the wise man (yet actually he is enraged at God more than anyone else). The other response from the fool is to laugh at God's principles and God's Word. This is basically done by mocking God. Bill Maher did it by doing the movie, "Religuous." Others have done it a myriad of different ways over the years. Interestingly enough, most of them are dead and have the horrendous problem of explaining to God why they felt such liberty to mock Him and His Word - which is what Mr. Maher will face also if he does not come to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Regardless of how they go about mocking God, they do, and in the end there is no peace. There isn't any because the fool is not about to have the wise man come away from the encounter or controversy looking good at all. A wise man recognizes when he is in a controversy with a fool. He recognizes it usually because the fool will not argue reasonably, but will quickly resort to mocking, name calling, and specious arguments. At that point the best thing a wise man can do is step away from the situation as quickly and as gracefully as he can. The encounter will not result in a peaceful resolution. Rage and mocking laughter will happen - but not peace. The best thing you can do for the foolish man is pray for him, love him, and not offer him the public platform to mock God. That is why the wise man will turn down the offer to appear on such programs - saving himself the breath, the time, and the humiliation that will come if he chooses unwisely to attend. Argue your case with your neighbor, And do not reveal the secret of another, Or he who hears it will reproach you, And the evil report about you will not pass away. Proverbs 25:9-10
Here is another of those Proverbs that seems to directly contradict what has been said in the previous verse. Here it has to do with arguing your case with your neighbor. But the thing that truly helps us to understand this proverb is that it deals with arguing your case with your neighbor "alone." The ESV and the KJV bring this out. When a person has a conflict with another person, the best way for it to be resolved is for the two of them to get together and to work it out between them. This is what the writer of Proverbs is saying here. This proverb has to do with gossip more than anything else. When there is a conflict, take the conflict to the person with whom you have the conflict - and no one else. That is what the writer is saying when he says not to reveal the secret of another. When there is a conflict, we don't need to reveal that we have had one with everyone else. That is usually what happens when there is a fight. We decide to talk with everyone else - telling them about everything that has happened and every way that this other person has hurt us - or has wronged us. That is revealing the secret of another. Here is a concept that I know is foreign to the church today. When we have a fight or disagreement with someone - that situation is to be treated as if it is a secret between us and the person with whom we've had the disagreement. It is to remain that way - until we've worked it out with that person. The reason we should do this is because God will give us grace - and give the person with whom we have the disagreement grace. But anyone we bring into the situation - will not have grace to deal with it. They will tend to take one side or the other - and soon factions will begin to develop. When the person with whom we have the disagreement begins to hear that we've told others - new problems will develop. The passage here says that when the person with whom we've had the argument hears that we're talking to others about it - they will reproach us for doing it. There is an additional offense when this happens. There are already problems with this person - but now they feel that they are being slandered with gossip. Now the next step in all this is that the argument begins to develop into a full-sized war. They begin to send out an evil report about you. They are so offended that you've begun to gossip, that they begin to gossip as well. Just as you decided to share the worst of your disagreement with others - they do the same. You feel greater offense but what they are doing is only what you've already done to them. The sad reality with this entire situation is that it will continue toward greater and greater bitterness until one or the other involved with be Christlike enough to humble themselves and begin working toward true healing. This involves actually talking about the problem to the person with whom you have the problem. What is so sad is that the vast majority of the time all that happens is that the two people eventually move to an uncomfortable silence between them. Their relationship becomes superficial - awaiting the next blow up that will come in the future. Argue your case with your neighbor alone. That is wisdom. It will bless you - and honestly - it will bless your church as well. This would be such a cause for maturity in the church. We would have to confront lovingly when we have a problem with a brother - but from what I've experienced - we would also have stronger relationships in the church or wherever we are having problems. May God bless us so that we begin to take this very wise advice and have stronger relationships in every aspect of life. |
 Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. 
Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
Archives
August 2018
|
RSS Feed