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Proverbs 29:22 An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression.
A man who flares his nostrils and who is easily filled with passionate anger about things is not going to be a godly or wise man. That is what today's proverb teaches us. Let's look at how anger that is not controlled by the Spirit of God can be a very dangerous thing in our lives. The "angry man" in this proverb is one who often flares his nostrils. That picture to the Hebrew was a picture of a man who often became angry. We read that this is not wise because such a man often stirs up strife. His easily angered temperament will be the source of much fighting. He will not be long suffering and patient. He will grumble and complain thereby stirring up strife and anger in others. This will lead to a situation where he seems to be constantly surrounded by others who are angry - or who have grievances against the ones he is angry with as well. There will be a controversy swirling about him that never seems to die down. Problems and broken relationships will be all around him as the proverbial pot is always being stirred. This man is likened to a "hot-tempered" man. His temperament is set so that it will boil over very easily. He becomes angry quickly - and that anger will lead to arguments and problems often. Contrary to this is the man surrendered to the Holy Spirit whose fruit is peace, patience, gentleness - and - self-control. Slights and problems roll off the Spirit filled man like water off a duck's back. He is a peacemaker and as such is known as one of the sons of God. King Saul had these bad traits in his life. He perceived a slight when the women sang that He had slain thousands and David ten thousands. Jealousy and envy bred anger in King Saul that boiled over in many angry and hot-tempered acts. He was well known for dealing with his anger not by patience and long-suffering, but by throwing spears. He threw them at David because of his jealousy. He threw them because he did not want to deal with his own sin - and came to hate David for how God was with him. He eventually threw them at his own son because he dared love and protect David. His hot-tempered ways led him to kill all the priests in the city of Nob because he raged against the priest seeking The Lord on David's behalf. His uncontrolled anger led him away from God and into abounding levels of transgression and sin. That is what our proverb warns against today. We are warned that an uncontrolled temper let loose in fits of anger will land us in an abundance of sin. If we are not careful we will wind up like Saul whom God would not answer - and whom God removed because of his sin. Patience is a virtue. It is a godly thing to be able to handle a slight - an insult - a perceived put down - and act graciously and godly - without a descent into a fit of anger. A wise man knows that it is not the estimation of men that matters - but the Word of God. Be careful therefore to learn graciousness, kindness, and the ability to be slow to anger. That is the heart of our God - and when we are filled with His Spirit and instructed by His Word - ours as well.
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 Like one who takes a dog by the ears Is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him. Proverbs 26:17
In order to learn this proverb in the way we will never forget, we should find a large, doberman - whom we do not know - and grab him by the ears and shake him a little. Yeah - don't think you'd want to do that either. Want to know why? Because you'd come out of that situation with one less hand (possibly two if you are slower). I love when God uses pictures that are not only graphic - but pretty funny to consider. This sounds like a bad clip from "America's Funniest Videos." Nevertheless, it is great for those of us who have a bad tendency to get involved in "strife-filled" situations when we have no reason for doing so. There are just some of us who think it is our place to fix every situation where people are having problems. Note several things about this person. First, he is simply "passing by" a situation that is ongoing. He has not been invited to enter it and offer counsel. He just feels that these two people who are fighting need his particular expertise and wisdom. Second, this is a situation "not belonging to him." That removes him even further from the picture - or at least it should. Third, he enjoys "meddling" in other people's business. Add all these things up and you get a recipe for "relational disaster stew!" This is one of those proverbs that needs to be featured in the University of Duh. Anyone with a remote "lick of sense" knows better than to grab a dog by its ears. Do so and you will anger the dog - who will then bite your hand. Do it to the wrong dog and more than just your hand will be attacked. So also is the foolishness of someone who just will not stay out of other people's business. This particular fool won't stay out of other people's ANGRY business. The word "riybah" is used here - and it means strife, controversy, or contention. It speaks of a quarrel or dispute - which often involves open hostilities. Why would anyone want to step into something like that - when they don't even know the people all that well? To do so is stupid! But it seems that "stupid" here just cann't help himself or herself. They insert themselves into the conflict - and later are shocked when they walk away battered and bruised by the words or actions that they run into in the midst of it. Stay out of other people's business! That is something my mother taught me. It has been a very wise saying - and one that I did not know at the time was biblical. Whenever I have obeyed her counsel I was blessed. But I've ignored it a few times . . . and I have the emotional dog bites to show for it! It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman. Proverbs 21:19
Here we have a proverb about making a wise choice of our mate - or more specifically the wise choice of the right kind of wife. We see two words used to describe the wrong kind of woman, as well as one phrase used to describe what we will want to do if we choose one like this. The first word used to describe a woman to avoid is the word contentious. This is the Hebrew word "madon" and it means one who is filled with strife and contention. This is a person always ready for a quarrel or dispute. These things come from a heart that is not right with God and a temper that is not under control. The man who marries such a woman will find that this contention, quarrelling, and strife will fill his home. There will always seem to be a problem - and that problem will lead to arguments and strong contentions. The home itself will not be a refuge - but a fight club. The second word used here is the word vexing. This is the Hebrew word "kaas" which means vexation. This is a word we seldom use any longer - but it means to provoke someone to anger. The wrong kind of wife is one who herself is angry - and who seems to have as a goal provoking everyone else to anger as well. She is ready for a fight, which we get from the previous word - and she delights in being angry. What a difficult life this would lead to for the man who marries such a woman. God then warns us what will happen if we marry such a woman. We will not enjoy living in our home. In fact we would choose to live in the wilderness than stay there. The stated New Testament purpose for a godly woman is to create a good home in which her husband and children can live. But when a woman is angry, bitter, and itching for a fight, such a home will not be possible. Her husband and family will prefer living in an inhospitible wilderness than that house - because the wilderness would seem far more hospitable than being with that woman in that house. What a warning to us to choose our mates wisely. It is also a warning to go beyond how a woman looks to how well kept her heart is. Beauty will pass - and the vanity of looks will one day give way to the attractiveness of one's heart. In that day a man will know that it was a wise thing that he sought first a woman who feared God than a woman who was a physical beauty alone. Beauty is skin deep - but the ugliness of a wicked heart will torture for a lifetime. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel. Proverbs 18:19
Here is a proverb that is not difficult to understand, nor is it hard for us to see the ramifications of it in our everyday lives. We've all been in a situation where either we have offended someone, or we've been the offended party. We also all know how difficult it can be to remedy those situations. Therefore today's proverb just helps us see it in a word picture that is very descriptive and instructional. The brother who is offended is harder to be won back to us than a strong city. The literal Hebrew here of the "strong city" is a walled city. To understand this we have to go back to days before there were air forces or artillery shells that could level a wall or a house. In those days a high, strong wall around a city was a formidible defense. When an army went within such a walled city, it was going to be very difficult to defeat them. The victorious strategy in these circumstances would involve a long seige of the city. It would involve starving the people until their ability to resist would be broken. It would also involve a final assault on the wall and the gates where they would be broken through - then the victory was assured. But such a seige might take months - and some of the more famous ones took even longer than a year. Therefore, when a brother is offended - he becomes like that walled city to our attempts to gain his trust and friendship again. That is why Proverbs 17:14 warns us that the beginning of a quarrel is like breaching a dam - therefore abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. Abandon your offensive actions and words - because if they come to the point of greatly offending someone, it will be very difficult to remedy the situation. The second statement speaks of the bars of a citadel. The citadel was the place, usually at the center of the city where a large fortified tower was. It usually was high and barred. It had large stores of food and weapons for a last stand. If all else failed, the last people of the city would go here to try to make a last ditch stand against those who had breached the walls of the city. It was usually the place they would go to fight to the death - to the very last man. Here is the picture shown to us about offending a brother. It is the one that warns us against having contentions, fights if you will, with a brother. Thus, we have MORE than just high walls to scale to overcome the problem of our brother being offended. We have to deal with the fact that even after we've breached the walls - they may retreat to the citadel to resist us to the bitter end. What a reminded to do all we can to be kind and gentle, loving and gracious, and patient and longsuffering in our dealings with our brothers. Too many don't practice such things and wind up seriously offending someone with their words or their actions. They don't think about the back end of such actions and choices. They don't consider how difficult this is going to be to fix. They don't see the walls being erected and the citadel of the heart being fortified against them. They are blind to all this - and blunder on in their offensive statements and actions. They are not wise in quickly diffusing arguments and abandoning quarrels. The sad result is broken relationships and long term bitterness in their familiies and with former friends. Be wise, dear brothers and sisters, and see the value of being gracious and kind when you face a difficult relational situation. See the value of a long-term relationship with the other person rather than just wanting to win that particular argument. Realize that confrontation - even biblical, godly confrontation is something that needs to be approached in love - speaking in love - and acting in love. That may require hard words - but it seeks to avoid hard feelings. It helps us to enter into the problem with our eyes wide open not just to what we want solved, but even more importantly to the person with whom we want to solve them. We never need to forget that we work with people and want them to know two things more than anythinig else. Those two things are that God loves them and that no matter what the problem is - the answer ultimately will involve God's grace. With this is mind we need to respond both lovingly and graciously in all we say and do. That way we won't have to face a lengthy love siege in order to win back our brother. A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute. Proverbs 15:18
Whenever we face a situation where we can react in anger we have a choice. I know that some don't think so because they say that so-in-so made me angry - or such-and-such a situation made me mad. The facts would say something much different. They say that we control our temperment - not that circumstances and people control what we do. Today's proverb helps us understand this. Each day as we begin to interact with people and face a world filled with its varicolored situations, we need to do so making a conscious choice. What that choice should be is the topic of God's wise counsel to us in this verse. We have a choice whether we are going to be "hot-tempered" or not. The Hebrew word for "hot-tempered" is very instructive and descriptive here. It is "chemah" and means to be rage-filled, angry, and filled with poison or venom. This is fascinating because we need to make a conscious choice not to have the venom and poison of the evil one flowing through our veins as we walk through our day. By this I am not saying that we are demon possessed or anything fantastical like that. Instead I refer to a much more subtle thing that energizes the strife that will follow such a man through his day. Let me explain. Each day we live we interact with others and with our environment from morning to night. As we do this we have both problems and problem people come into our lives. It is possible as we do this to be bitten by the evil one in such a way that his venom and poison enters our system. This usually happens when someone hurts our feelings - or tramples what we perceive to be our right to be treated better or with a certain modicum of respect. It can also happen when we begin to entertain the thought that a certain set of providential circumstances are a raw deal. If we are not careful to cry out to God to remove such venom from the veins of our thinking and our heart - it can begin to do its insidious work in us. Over time this poison will turn to bitterness against someone - resentment grows to a point where what at first was an annoyance becomes a seething cauldron of anger and rage toward someone. In regard to circumstances that our God allows providentially in our lives, we can think Him cruel and uncaring. This poison will turn our hearts a deep shade of bitter - and we soon find it hard to read His Word, pray, and ultimately to trust Hiim to cause all things to work for good. As the infection spreads deeper in our reasoning, we soon become angry at our core - which is where this one is in this verse. Thus the temper of his soul is such that he is constantly stirring up strife. I've known men over the years who say that trouble seems to follow them. But in a majority of the cases, they were one who had allowed the venom of the evil one through slights and circumstantial difficulties to reach a critical mass in their hearts. The trouble they perceived to follow them - really was trouble that they encoruaged because they are so angry in their core. I've even watched this in some who do this not through active agression - but through passive-agressive actions and words (or the lack of them). There is another choice we can make in the Lord. That is that we become those who calm disputes. These are those who have at their core a work of the grace of God that makes them slow to anger. The Hebrew word used for this is one that is also used to describe long pinions - which are the largest feathers on the wing of birds. These particular feathers are used in birds to reduce drag on their wings thus helping them control both the wind and the turbulence that is natural in the sky while they fly. What an astounding picture this is for us of the patient, long-suffering man who chooses to calm disputes rather than fuel them. Like a bird who uses their long pinions to ride the wind while diffusing the problems it causes - these people ride the events of everyday life. They choose to deflect and diffuse both the insults and indignities of life - as well as the problematic providences that we cannot change. Rather than having such things make their flight a bumpy one, their choice to be slow to anger allows them to ride the difficulties of living on earth rather than having the things of earth ride rough-shod over them. A wise man knows that life is not going to be fair - neither is it going to bow down and kiss his feet every day. He knows that since we live in a fallen world, that he will run into fallen people who act . . . well, they act fallen. Therefore he chooses to turn to God, who deals with the indignities of over 7 billion people daily, and yet who does not consume them with His wrath. This grace daily allows him to stretch forth his spiritual pinions and diffuse the problems and the poison that would turn him from being a peaceful, gracious man into an angry strife-ridden one. May God give us mercy that we would be such men and women. He who loves transgression loves strife; He who raises his door seeks destruction.
Proverbs 17:19 There are those in this world who love rebellion - whether against God or against "the man." These people, because of this rebellious bent, also love strife. Theiy love a good fight where they can quarrel with others and contend with anyone who holds an opinion other than theirs. This kind of insolent, arrogant attitude brings such a one into multiple situations where they fight and where violence is almost certainly to break out eventually. I remember a friend of my youth - who just loved to fight, whether it was with words or fists. This happened weekend after weekend as he would drink and party. One weekend he went too far and was shot a couple of times at a bar where he had previously picked another fight. Fortunately for him he was not killed in the incident. But this is what the proverb is trying to get us to see. The second part of the proverb here is a Hebraism. It speaks of the one who "raises his door." The habit of the Jews was to make the front door of their compound very low to the ground so that no one could get in without permission. They also would intentionally not make their doors ornate - so as to draw attention to themselves - and unintentionally draw the attention of thieves or those who would seek to plunder their homes and compounds. Over time this practice eventually came to speak of someone who was ostentatious and filled with pride. Those to "raise their door" came to mean those who act with excessive pride and arrogance. We are warned that doing this is dangerous and destructive. When we live with such excessive pride and arrogance - even one that fights with everyone - and that loves sin - we are setting ourselves up for destruction. The wise man is a peace-maker, not a fighter. He is one who loves righteousness, peace, and humility. True, these things will not make him stick out - won't make him noticed by the standards of men. Yet, for the believer, this is not a good thing - to try to be noticed by men. We want God to be the One who promotes and gives us favor with others. The favor we crave and desire is not that of men (which often means we will have to love sinning as they do). We crave with an ever-increasing intensity the favor of God! And that kind of promotion does not draw the attention of men unduly - as does arrogant self-promotion does. The Life and Times of the Drunken Fool, part 5 - From the Mouth of Fools . . . Proverbs 23:354/28/2011 "They struck me, but I did not become ill; They beat me, but I did not know it. When shall I awake? I will seek another drink." Proverbs 23:35
The life and times of the drunken fool comes to an end with this last verse. Yet this last verse as much as any of the others describes perfectly what alcohol can do to someone. It makes them a fool. The problem is that they do not know it - nor do they really care. Their life is spent going from one drunken episode to another - or as we see in today's world - they live from one party to the next. They are unaware of the real damage that is being done to their lives - and even when it is evident it is worn more as a badge of honor than as what it is - the marks left on a fool in the midst of his pursuit of more and more sensuality. When this drunken episode and party is over - his thought when he awakens is the next party, the next time he can drink, the next time he can act the fool. This last verse is the drunken fool speaking to himself. He is remembering some of his most recent party experiences. He remembers that someone hit him - but the inebriated deadening of his senses did not remember it. His thought is that he was not badly injured - or at least not injured enough to be incapacitated. That is the idea behind the word "ill" here. It speaks of being ill enough to be weak or incapcitated. It speaks only of a severe wounding. Since this drunken fool was not so badly injured that he was laid up for days - he doesn't even consider the fact that he was struck. Even worse he repeats this again when he says, "They beat me, but I did not know it." The first statement was a single blow received from someone. This second statement speaks of being beaten with multiple blows. His answer to this is that he did not even know he was being beaten. I've actually met people who were beaten badly - but did not realize it until someone else told them the next day when they were questioned as to why they had bruises on their body. What is truly sad is that they laughed about the situation, finding it funny that they were in a serious fight and didn't even know it. At this point I must also mention another sin of the drunken fool - and that is that some of them beat others. What I refer to is those drunken fools who beat their wives and their children. Some of them do not even remember the pain their inflicted on their loved ones while in the midst of their drunken stupor. The point here is that these fools are so drunk that they do not know what is happening during their beatings. The last statement here is the worst of all. "When shall I awake? I will seek another drink." As the drunken fool falls asleep after his binge - he knows that he will wake up eventually. Does he awaken to seriously consider what he as done - the damage that is in the wake of his indulgent lifestyle? He does not. In fact, most alcoholics will blame everyone else for their choices and the havoc that follows in their wake. Their thought when they awaken is getting another drink. The literal statement here is this, "I will yet again drink." His thoughts are dominated by the next party, the next binge, the next over-indulgence, his next drunk. His life has become his drunkenness - and his desire to drown his miserable life in another bout of partying. I know that some of you who read this may be thinking that I am too hard on the drunken fool. In fact you are pretty offended that I use that term to describe this man or woman. You prefer calling them an alcoholic - referring to their situation as a social disease rather than a series of foolish choices. You almost cringe at the strong statements that have been made in this post. God desires to deliver the drunken fool - and He loves him as He does any other sinner. But God makes it clear here and elsewhere that drunkenness is not funny, neither is it something we should treat lightly. God would not spend seven verses in a book that promotes wisdom unless this lifestyle was a breeding ground for fools. Having been a drunken fool in my past also gives me a pretty clear perspective on this sin. I know first hand the damage that comes from living this way. I also know that since I was in high school and college things have gotten progressively worse. Living in a college town and ministering to college students has made me aware that drunkenness on our campuses is running rampant. We don't even blink any longer - nor do we weep and pray for those who are caught in these lifestyles. We just say that they're kids and that is the way that kids act these days. We shrug our shoulders and walk away. Yet the damage increases every weekend. I know because I often deal with the young men and women who ache from it. Maybe instead of just winking at this - we should begin to fall to our knees and pray that God would so revive His church and restore us. Maybe we should not just complain and vote for dry counties - but also wade into the world of these young men and women who desperately need Jesus Christ in their lives. Maybe we should fight drunkenness with the greatest weapons we have in our arsenal - the gospel of Jesus Christ - and the truth of God's Word. Maybe then we could begin to see a harvest - not of drunken fools - but of redeemed ones who have turned to Jesus Christ and, as a result, have become wise! Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who linger long over wine, Those who go to taste mixed wine. Proverbs 23:29-30
We are about to read one of the most amazing sections of Proverbs that there is. These next seven verses are one of the most poignent commentaries on alcohol and drinking that there is in Scripture. It is also one of the most plain statements against getting drunk. I am not one who states that the Biblical view is complete abstinence from alcohol - simply because Scripture itself does not state that. The Bible teaches us to steer clear from getting drunk. It also warns against lingering long over wine - and I would also argue that the Bible militates against the whole "party culture" that exists in our society today. My own personal stance is complete abstinence from alcohol. The reason for this is because I've led at least two men to Christ who were alcoholics. If I were to drink - and they were to follow my example - there is good reason to be concerned that they would be ruined by my abuse of my freedom in Christ. Therefore, rather than make my brothers stumble, I will renounce my freedom to have anything to do with alcohol. This passage though is about abuse of alcohol. It asks a series of questions that are all rhetorical in nature. They are this way because they have to do with the consequences of alcohol in someone's life who is abusing it. Who has woe? The answer is the alcohol abuser. Woe means to have a horrific distress. Take a close look at the drunkard and you will find plenty of woe and sorrow in his life. There are so many ways that this happens - through broken relationships - through wasted lives - through the regret and horror of the aftermath of a drunken driving accident or arrest. There is so much sorrow from the immediate consequences - as well as the long term ones that come out of drinking and drunkenness. But too often men want to make it look as if these are rare consequences rather than the norm of alcohol abuse. The next set of two questions here deal with the issue of contentions and complaining. Unfortunately, before I came to Christ, I was often in parties where the abuse of alcohol was frequent. I can tell you from experience that the contentions and complaining are very much true. Guys would break out into fights and would have major altercations when they were drunk. I remember one friend who not only had a fight, but was beaten bloody and shot before the night was over. He survived, but the gunshot wound is still in his body to this day as a monument to his stupidity and drunken lack of sense. The complaining usually comes from those who have to deal with the drunk. Their wives complain of their actions. Their children complain of their actions. Their employer complains of their alcohol abuse. They all feel the effects of the lack of self-control - and in some cases the anger that comes with a drunk stumbling into the home. It is a sad but true fact that many men return home to beat their wives and children in their drunken state. Their complaining is testimony to a man who has lost all self-control and who is slowly ruining his life. The next couplet here has to do with questions about wounds and redness of eyes. The wounds come from stumbling around drunk - running into things and injuring oneself. They may come from fights and their aftermath. The redness of eyes comes in the morning when the drunk gets up and faces the difficulty of recovering from the previous evening's activities. Not only is there redness of eyes - but there is also a pounding headache - and at times a stomach that is sick from the alcohol of the previous night. These things are all said of those who "linger long over wine." This speaks of someone who drinks - and stays at a place where they serve them. These are the men who stay at bars well into the night. They may start at happy hour and not finish his drinking until after midnight. The drunk may have 5 to 10 drinks as he pours out the problems he has with the bar tender. He lingers long over a beer or a hard drink - and has another when he is done. The passage here also says that there are those who go to taste "mixed wine." Mixed wine refers to ways that men would mix wine with other things to make it better - and often to make it more intoxicating. It would in some ways refer to the way that men mix drinks in bars today. We are going to get a pretty good picture of the drunk over the next several days. We are going to see his actions as well as the consequences of them. We are going to hear warnings against the things that he does. We will hear warnings about alcohol and the way that it can lure someone into its trap. We will hear about how alcohol promises one thing, yet delivers something quite different. We will also see that when we give ourselves over to this habit and this abuse, we will find that it is a trap that shuts over us and does much to bring great destruction in our lives. The wise man knows that wine and strong drink are deadly and deceptive. That is why he stays away from them. |
 Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. 
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