Proverbs 31:28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
This is the part of the passage on the excellent wife that speaks of the rewards of her choices. The rewards are not received in ceremonies and award shows. She receives no trophies or plaques - no ribbons or citations are given to her. No, the reward of the excellent wife is far better than any of those things. Her reward comes from the praise and affirmation of those she has spent her life seeking to build up and bless. Her reward comes from her children and her husband. The first thing we see here is that her children rise up and bless her. There are two words used for "bless" in the Scriptures. The word "barak" means to bless another - and most often refers to God blessing others. From what I've studied there is an aspect of grace here. God blesses others and chooses to bring blessing on them. The second word is the one we have used here and it is "ashar". It means to stand up and bless someone - to speak well of them - to compliment or praise them. For someone to receive this, they have to have done something. This kind of blessing is in a way earned by something someone has done to deserve being blessed or praised in this way. When we apply this to the excellent wife - she is blessed by her children - who have all benefited from her gracious works on their behalf. This lady is blessed by her kids - because they have all experienced her kindness and all the good things she does for them. The kids may not always do this - but the passage says that they "rise up" and bless her. The idea here is that as they get older - they come to appreciate what she has done on their behalf. There is also just a hint of them rising up in a kind of defense of their mother. If someone says something bad about mom - the children are quick to dispel this kind of talk by rising up and speaking well of her. The second thing we see here is that her husband also speaks well of his wife. The word that is used here is "halal," which means "to praise." The kids rise up and say good things about mom - but her husband - he breaks forth into the Hallelujah chorus towards his wife. He has praise for her - but goes beyond what the kids have to say. In fact, we are given the verbiage of what he has to say about his sweet bride. We'll look into that another day. What I want to say here has two directions. First is for us husbands and our children. Do you speak well of mom - on other days than the second Sunday in May (which is Mother's Day if you did not know). Mom needs our encouragement - and especially for us to RISE UP when our society speaks evil of mothers who give themselves for their families. She also needs her husband to do more than refer to her as the "ole ball and chain" or some other current stupid statement that is encouraged by men who are truly ignorant of the blessing God gave them. It is good to write her a note - or occasionally break out into your shorter version of the Hallelujah chorus for the Wife! You cannot imagine what a blessing it will be to her. The second thing I want to do is to encourage the moms and wives who are not getting the praise from their families - and actually deserve some kind of acknowledgement. You will receive praise from God when you see Him for your sacrifice. I realize that you need some kind of encouragement now. Know this though . . . God sees everything you've done - your sacrifice - your tears - your laying down of your life to bless them. He will reward you for all of it on that day when men see the true value of a life lived for God's ways instead of those of our culture. You will be rewarded - and that reward will be from God Himself for a life lived to be an excellent wife for His glory.
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Proverbs 31:25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.
As we look at the excellent wife, we now turn to inner qualities in her life. These are discussed in verses 25-28 and once again represent a godly woman who takes her role seriously before God, before her family, and before the outside world around her. In verse 25 three things characterize the inner qualities of this godly wife. First, she is a woman of strength. Keil and Delitzsch say this about the word strength here. "She is clothed with strength, which is the power over the changes of temporal circumstances, which easily shatter and bring to ruin a household resting on less solid foundations." Hers is an inner strength derived from a relationship with God - and from the Scriptures, which guide those who know Him. Just as she would clothe herself daily with outward dress - she also turns each day to God for the inner strength she will need to face the world and love those in her family. When I think of what strength she functions from, Ephesians 6:10 comes to mind. "Be strong in The Lord and in the strength of His might." Any lady who has run a home knows that Keil and Delitzsch's comments are very true. The average home faces changing circumstances - especially when it comes to the people who live in it. The godly wife is a rock to her family - in that she faces the problems they face with the wisdom of God. The throes of a child's life - especially in the Junior and Senior High years are a roller-coaster of emotions, highs and lows, and wrestling with the world seeking to influence them negatively. She faces every battle - every situation - every new trial with strength. Secondly, we see that she faces these things with "dignity." The word here is "glory" which here points to a mindset that thinks above that which is low, little, or common. She does not look to life as just getting by or living for the things of this world. She thinks higher than that. She is clothed with a mind and a heart that reaches higher - that desires a life that glorifies God. Some live aspiring to no glory at all. They live in the mundane and think that is all that they will be able to do. But a godly woman knows that God wants to work in those around her - and she cooperates, knowing that in doing so a touch of glory will be on the lives of those around her as a result. She is both dignified - and lives with a dignity that has others look up to her. Because of these things the godly wife smiles at the future. There is something that is needed today. Too many look at the future and grit their teeth as they await the devastation they figure is coming. The godly woman faces all things with God's strength seeking God's glory - and as a result smiles that although much may be wrong in the world - she sees things in light of growing closer to God and doing things that glorify Him. As a result, regardless of the circumstances, she smiles at the future knowing that getting closer to God - loving Him more - serving Him better - and selflessly giving herself for those around her is not governed by anyone other than herself as she responds to God Himself. That is why while all others seem to frown at the future - she stands smiling and looking to God for His work even in the midst of a crooked and godless generation. The inner strength, character, and outlook of the excellent wife set her apart from other women. She stands as a beacon of hope and joy in a world where too many struggle with depression and thoughts that everything stinks. Rather than let the world depress her - she seeks to live by God's purposes and designs - and then seeks to influence the world rather than let it influence her. What a delight it is to know such a woman - and an ever better one to have one blessing your home. Proverbs 31:10-12 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
For the next week or so, we will look at the "excellent wife" as she is represented in Scripture. This portrayal is given by Solomon's mother, who sought to point him toward the right kind of godly woman to be his wife. Rather than try to give direct parallels to everything that is written in this chapter, I'm going to look at this excellent wife more by categories. That is because, due to culture and the times in which we live, we don't do some of these things any longer. I also do not believe that godliness in a woman is measured by whether she spins her own yarn or makes her own bread. Godliness is determined by issues of the heart - not by works that a woman does or does not do. So with that in mind - and with that as our backdrop - let us dive in and take a look at what God calls an excellent wife in His Word. Solomon's mom begins by asking a question, "An excellent wife, who can find?" Good question. She is not the kind of mother who just wants her son to get married - no matter to whom. She wants her son to focus on excellence in a wife. She does that by presenting to him a number of character traits that are present in a wife who is excellent. He reminds her son that when he does find one - her worth is far above jewels. There is a hint here of just how difficult a task this may be. Jewels are not found lying around on the ground. You have to search for them. There are few precious jewels - but a lot of rocks. So also may be the search for an excellent wife. There also may be just a little more than a tinge of pain here for Bathsheba as she writes this to her son. She was not an excellent wife to either Uriah or David. Unfortunately her wisdom was learned in the school of sinful, hard knocks. She betrayed her first husband by committing adultery - and eventually cost him his life in doing this with a very powerful man. Then she agreed to a sham marriage for the sake of covering up her indiscretions - that cost her the first-born child of that union. She was a woman who was very beautiful outwardly - but that outward beauty was not indicative of the inward state of her heart. Now, her goal was to do all she could to keep her son from making a mistake like that his father made. She did this not out of bitterness or resentment - but as a recipient of grace. (see the post for Proverbs 31:1-2) Even as she wrote the words in verse 11 there had to be pain in the penmanship. The heart of her husband trusts in her. He knows she will be faithful to him - and that truth resides in the core of his heart. The issue of faithfulness and trustworthy character is first on her list. An excellent wife is faithful and true to one man all her days. There are no thoughts lurking within him of her seeking out another man - no thoughts of adultery. Oh the peace that resides in a man's heart when this is true - and oh the torture that hunts a man's spirit when it is not. I've seen men destroyed by jealousy - even the point of doing the unthinkable - killing their wives and then themselves. Let me say that this faithfulness is a two way street and the man is held to no less standard as well. He will have no lack of gain. Does this mean that if you get the right excellent wife you'll be rich? That is not what Bathsheba is saying to her son. She is saying to him that due to her influence and the spirit she brings to the home, he will know no lack of blessing. Go to a home of an excellent wife and what you will see if a woman who cheers on her husband if he is a CEO or a ditch-digger. He will feel as if he is a king in the way that appreciation and love flows to him. If there are good times in their lives - they will enjoy them together. If difficult times ensue - those will be embraced as well. In good times and bad - she will be there to let him know that all things will work together for them as they seek The Lord and follow Christ Jesus. As a result this man - whether he has a large bank account or just two pennies who keep each other company - knows that which this woman he has no lack of gain! She does him good and not evil all the days of his life. Her heart is set on bringing good to him. In this it is first set on walking with God and knowing Him. Then it is set on whatever God's good, acceptable, and perfect will is for her, her husband, and their entire household. She uses her words to encourage and built him up according to the need of that hour - giving grace to him as he hears her. She looks to him to be a man - to reject passivity - accept responsibility - to lead her courageously, and to look to God for his ultimate reward. And in any moment he shows an inkling of doing this - she cheers him on - letting him know it is a good work he does. She looks to good as God ultimately defines it; and she applies herself to seeing that good given to her husband. What kind of lady is an excellent wife? She is the lady who is faithful and true to her husband. She is the lady who puts his heart at ease for her eyes and heart are fully his. She is a lady who accepts God's direction and will walked out as wonderful gain - regardless of the financial bottom line it brings. She is a lady who seeks the face of God, knows the Word of God, and according to the will of God - brings good to her husband, shunning any and every evil impulse of her fallen heart. This is quite a wonderful woman. A diamond, a jewel, a rare gem whose worth is not measured by her wealth or her looks - the real gem here is a heart redeemed and remade by God. Find one of these - and you have become rich indeed. Proverbs 5:19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.
In talking about moral sanity we come to a passage that almost makes you a little uncomfortable while reading it, yet it is the very essence of moral and sexual sanity itself! In commenting on this verse I want to take a moment to speak against the moral and sexual insanity that reigns in our society today. It is a sad thing that we read verse 19 and get a little uncomfortable. The joys of married love and sexual union are one of the wonderful gifts that God gave us when He made our bodies as He did - and introduced us to marriage at the very foundation of this world. There is a purity in what is said here - not impurity. There is a very real joy that we should have in experiencing sexual union with the wife of our youth. Unfortunately sin has so skewed things in our minds that we squirm a little when God paints a somewhat vivid picture of the truth. God desires for a man to enjoy his wife. He tells us here that her breasts should be the ones that satisfy us at all times. The world though has so twisted our minds and hearts that we struggle with reading this - even though all the world around us is doing all they can to capture our attention with the breasts of women other than our wives. There is the perversion - focusing on the beauty of a woman who is NOT your wife. Television, movies, magazines, and the internet are being used to draw our attention to other women. I see pretty much every day when I go to check my email that the most popular searches on the internet tend toward women whose beauty is being exploited to draw men into the trap of desiring a woman other than their wife. This is the deception of the world - and it is used daily to draw us away from the Lord. That is why I get so frustrated when believers don't want us to read or comment on passages of Scripture that promote healthy biblical sexuality. It is not that we want to start a sexual round-table by doing this - but it does put the real and the true before us. We want to be wise in discussing and commenting on such passages - not turning to gutter language and sexually explicit comments. But the Bible is very clear in what it is saying here. The second part of this admonition from father to son is that the son be intoxicated by the love of his wife. Usually the New American Standard does a wonderful job of directly translating such things, but my how weak they are on this verse. Exhilarated is NOT what the dad is saying to his son. He is telling him to be utterly intoxicated with the sexual love of his wife. There are not many things God says we should be drunk on - but when it comes to the love of our wife - God says to drink up all the love we can. That is the essence of sexual sanity dear friends. God wants us to enjoy our sexuality in marriage. He has written an entire book, The Song of Solomon, to exult in the sexual love enjoyed in marriage. He instructs us in that book - as well as in this passage - that it is a good thing to enjoy sexual union and lovemaking with our wife. It is one of the reasons why he gave us a wife and set up marriage the way He did. That is why it is so important that as fathers we have such a talk with our sons. We can guide them away from the raging rapids of sexual immorality - and toward the safe waters of sex within marriage. If we do not tell them - I can promise you the world will warp their minds with tales of sexual exploits that are nothing more than the deception of whoremongers and fools. It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman. Proverbs 21:19
Here we have a proverb about making a wise choice of our mate - or more specifically the wise choice of the right kind of wife. We see two words used to describe the wrong kind of woman, as well as one phrase used to describe what we will want to do if we choose one like this. The first word used to describe a woman to avoid is the word contentious. This is the Hebrew word "madon" and it means one who is filled with strife and contention. This is a person always ready for a quarrel or dispute. These things come from a heart that is not right with God and a temper that is not under control. The man who marries such a woman will find that this contention, quarrelling, and strife will fill his home. There will always seem to be a problem - and that problem will lead to arguments and strong contentions. The home itself will not be a refuge - but a fight club. The second word used here is the word vexing. This is the Hebrew word "kaas" which means vexation. This is a word we seldom use any longer - but it means to provoke someone to anger. The wrong kind of wife is one who herself is angry - and who seems to have as a goal provoking everyone else to anger as well. She is ready for a fight, which we get from the previous word - and she delights in being angry. What a difficult life this would lead to for the man who marries such a woman. God then warns us what will happen if we marry such a woman. We will not enjoy living in our home. In fact we would choose to live in the wilderness than stay there. The stated New Testament purpose for a godly woman is to create a good home in which her husband and children can live. But when a woman is angry, bitter, and itching for a fight, such a home will not be possible. Her husband and family will prefer living in an inhospitible wilderness than that house - because the wilderness would seem far more hospitable than being with that woman in that house. What a warning to us to choose our mates wisely. It is also a warning to go beyond how a woman looks to how well kept her heart is. Beauty will pass - and the vanity of looks will one day give way to the attractiveness of one's heart. In that day a man will know that it was a wise thing that he sought first a woman who feared God than a woman who was a physical beauty alone. Beauty is skin deep - but the ugliness of a wicked heart will torture for a lifetime. He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22
"It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him." These were the words of God in the garden before the Lord made Eve. This is why it is a good thing - and by the way, a God thing, that a man get married and find a wife. When he finds one - he has found a good thing - and has obtained favor from God. What I find interesting though about this proverb is that it does not say, "He who finds a good wife finds a good thing." Many would like for this passage to say this - but it does not. Let's look at this then for a few moments today to obtain wisdom on the favor God gives us when giving us a wife. The Hebrew word for "finds" in this opening sentence is "masa" which means not just to find, but also to obtain. The word means mor than just stumbling upon something. The idea of finding here means that someone is searching for something. In this case what the man is searching for is a wife from the Lord. That is the key here. When he obtains one - it is a very good thing he has gotten. Think about the kind of wife God would have us have - especially if we find one that is according to wisdom. This woman would be of the Proverbs 31 kind - she would be a godly woman - and one who delights in her biblical role. This is why finding her is a good thing! Since good here means something beneficial - something that makes us happy, glad, and joyful - this is a lady that came to us from God as His provision for a wife. When I consider this favor from God (Which is what we learn this lady is to her husband) I think of the way that one of my sons went about seeking a wife from God. The first thing he did was learn how to be satisfied with God - and with seeking God's ultimate purpose and plan for his life. As he did this, he learned not only about the gospel - but about the kind of woman God wanted to give him. He searched out the Scriptures to learn what kind of woman that God wanted for him, knowing that God's will would be the very best for him. In time he had a list of character traits he desired in a wife - and had also learned a list of character traits that God wanted him to have as a husband and father. As he sought the Lord for the grace to become this kind of man - he also sought Him for grace to be joined to this kind of woman. He is married now - and I can tell you that when you do things God's ways - God blesses wonderfully. I could not have hand picked a more godly, wonderful lady than the one that God gave to him. Watching the two of them walk together through life is one of my greatest joys. But before I leave this proverb, I think I also need to address the other end of this blessing as well. Some marry in a way that is not so wise. They may read this proverb and decide that they were not blessed in having a wife. They may see their wife as a curse rather than a blessing. But, contrary to what they think, this lady in their life is a blessing from God. There may have to be some discipline - and some character development - but the fact that this woman is a blessing is nonetheless a fact. A wife is a blessing in that she rescues us from being selfish and self-centered. A wife is a blessing in that her femininity helps to break off the harsh edges of masculinity that need work. A wife is a blessing in that she is a provision for our sexual needs - so that we will not turn to pornography or to fornication. A wife is a blessing in that she is there to be a companion in our journey through life. Whether you fully access these blessings and many more may not be nearly as much a problem with her as it is a problem with you! We are so quick to adopt the view of the world and "blame the old lady." But God gave you your wife so that by your example and your choice you would lead her. When you do not - things don't work so well. So a wife is also a barometer of your walk with God. If you are living selflessly and for the will of God, you will most likely have a happy wife and a good marriage. But if you want a woman to be at your beckon-call and to do and be for you everything you want . . . well, you didn't want a wife - you wanted a slave. God meant to give you a wife - and that is for your benefit . . . and your sanctification and maturity. This is why no matter what kind of wife you received from God - she is a good thing - and you have received favor. You may just need to have your eyes opened so that you can see her that way. And I can promise you by the Word of the Lord - that if your eyes are opened to see this beautiful lady God has given you the way you should - you will see her as His glorious blessing to you! The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12
The book of Proverbs speaks to us of the virtuous woman - whom we call the Proverbs 31 woman. Here we learn how her husband feels about her. We see that his heart trusts her. What a wonderful statement. It is one thing to say that we think we can trust someone - but quite another to say that our heart trusts in them. That is saying that to the very core of our being we know that we can trust this person. The heart was considered the very core of the man in Jewish thought. Therefore to say that the heart of her husband trusts her is to say that at the very center and base of this man's inner core he knows that he can have a reliance on his wife to support and to be there for him. Even more importantly he knows that her heart belongs to the Lord - so that he can absolutely trust her to do good and to seek the very best for all in the family. The man who has such a godly woman who seeks the best for her husband and her family will also be blessed with the prosperity of having no lack of gain from her efforts for them. This is a lady who has the very best interests for her family - God's interests if you will allow me to insert what is being inferred by this passage. The gain here is not just riches - although this particular lady is quite the businesswoman for her family. The gain involves some things - but more importantly it involves goods, her service, and the spirit that is in the home because of her ministry and her heart. Do not discount this aspect of bringing gain to a family. There are blessings and benefits that the spirit of a home give to a husband and children that cannot be matched by any amount of money. In a day when so many do not have peace - and too many children go to homes where there is far more turmoil than rest - we do not see like we used to the vaule of a woman who focuses the major part of her life on her husband and family. Feminist groups denigrate such women, yet to those men who have such a godly lady in their midst - they are worth gold, jewels, and riches to them. The godly woman does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. The word for good used here is "tob" which means to be happy, to be pleased, to be loved, favored - and is also used to speak of doing well and right. Oh, what blessings there are for a godly woman who does her husband and family good. They know the joy of having a godly mom and wife - which means that she works to make a happy home - a loved home - a home which is pleasing to God - a favored home. She lives her live to make sure that what her family sees her doing is what is well and right in the eyes of God. The word used for evil here is the classic biblical word, "ra" which speaks of misery, injury, calamity, evil, and distress. This lady shuns such things for her family's sake. She works to bring God's good to them and to make sure that the work of the enemy s fought at every turn. As a result she is a guard and protector for her loved ones. This bent in her is why her husband's heart knows that only what is best will happen in their home due to her efforts. He trusts her - and also considers her the greatest of blessings to him and to their family. And since her heart is heavily bent toward not just good things (by whoever decides to define the good) but good as defined by God - there is no hidden cost that will come with the ways that she works to bless her family. If you have such a woman in your home and life - consider yourself to be supremely blessed. Pray that your daughters will strive to be such a woman - and that God will bless your sons with one of these women as a wife. To have such a lady at the core of a home-life is a blessing given by God - and one that is only bested by salvation itself. An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. Proverbs 31:10
We begin with this verse our introduction into what many call the Proverbs 31 woman. This first verse in this section lets us know the women we are going to get to know. We are also told the worth of such a woman. The Proverbs 31 woman is called "an excellent wife." The word "excellent" is the Hebrew word "chayil." It speaks of someone who has strength, efficiency, capability, power, and substance. The word, according to Zhodiates, hsa the babsic idea of strength and influence. The word is used of individual, nations, and even armies. What is being said here is that this is a strong woman - but her strength is from her character and her godly practices. That will be apparent as we look further into this section of Scripture in future posts. The excellent wife is the wife who is both strong and influential. When speaking of a woman this word often speaks of a virtuous character. That is the kind of woman who is an excellent wife. She is one who has a strength and power that comes from godly character traits. She draws her strength from her relationship with God - and views her family as the first and foremost place where that strength is spent. Throughout this section of Scripture we read how she works to bless and build up her family. The praise she receives in this passage comes primarily from her husband and her children. This is the praise that she desires. Before we are through with this passage we will see this godly lady doing a wide variety of things with her time and her energy. Chief though in all of them is that she fears the Lord. Her lifestyle choices therefore are not directed by worldly influences. They are directed by a desire to glorify and honor God. If she can accomplish this - she is happy. She views being a wife and mother as the two highest callings that she could ever receive. She also views those callings from a biblical vantage point. That means, to put it bluntly, that she is not influenced by the National Organization of Women - or any other organization that views femininity with suspicion. Such a woman, according to Proverbs, has a worth far above jewels. Her worth to her husband is incalculable - even though some well-meaning folks have tried to figure out how much we would pay to have someone do what a stay at home mother does. The cost of that estimate was in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. But what we cannot figure into any monetary value is the stability and the grace that a godly wife brings to her family. We also cannot imagine the costs that would be incurred to future generations if that godly influence were not in the home. Godly wives are a blessing as well spiritually (in fact that is where their greatest value is seen) which is something we cannot rate in dollars and cents. Suffice it to say that a godly wife and mother is worthy far more than any army of accountants could figure out in the end. If you have one - as either a wife or a mom - you should be eternally grateful! A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping. House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:13-14
Two different kinds of homes are shown to us in this proverb - the first in verse 13, and the second in verse 14. These two different homes will make the difference between a life that is a joy - and one that is most likely pure drudgery. The first home has a son - a foolish son who is a destruction to his father. The word used here for fool is different than we are used to seeing. It is the Hebrew word "kestyl" and refers to one of several types of fools who are spoken of in Scripture. He is a fool, according to Ecclesiastes 4:5, 13 who is unable to live life in a successful, practical way. He is a fool who according to Proverbs 1:22, 32 who scoffs at the things of God and as a result has a lifestyle that is very self-destructive. Other passages refer to this fool as someone who is rash in his decision making - who pursue foolishness - and who will not have honor but will experience shame due to their decisions and lifestyle. The father of this fool watches his own life destroyed due to this son. The word for destruction here refers to destruction that comes because of a rejection of God and a rejection of God's ways and truth. The father's life is destroyed because of the consequences of his son's life wreaking havoc on his heart and most likely his finances. To look at an example of this we have to go no further than the story of the prodigal son. This son was a fool - and demanded half the estate of his father - who chose to give it to him. Even though this son eventually returned - in the time of his discipline and foolishness he consumed not only half of his father's estate with his ungodly lifestyle - he also consumed numerous hours of his father's concern and heartbroken intercession. Remember that his father was watching for him - longing for him to return from his godless choices and lifestyle. This passage also reminds us that the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping to a man as well. The picture painted for us by Solomon is that of a wife who is unhappy - and who poures out her unhappiness upon her husband in contentious attitudes and words. Fascinating is the definition of "madon" the Hebrew word for contention here. It refers to quarrels and disputes that cannot be stopped once they are set in motion. They are arguments that create barriers between people - usually caused by a person with a bad temper. Imagine the poor man who has this to look forward to each day of his life. He does not have a help-meet - but someone who tears him down every day when he comes home. Like a dripping leak in the ceiling or a faucet that drives you crazy with the drip, drip, drip sound that never stops - so this man has to deal with an ungrateful, unloving wife who creates tension and dissention in the home rather than an atmosphere of love and peace. Contrasted to this kind of home, we see in verse 14 the true wealth that God can bring to our lives. Where a house and wealth can be given to us in the inheritance from our fathers - there is something far more valuable that we should long to receive. I've watched as people have receieved a large inheritance from their parents. If gratefully received it can be a huge blessing to the family for generations to come. But without the second blessing that is mentioned here - entire families can be destroyed for multiple generations. Whereas we can receive an inheritance from our fathers, a prudent wife is a gift from God Himself. The prudent wife is one who is discerning and filled with godly insight. She acts wisely, having understanding and wisdom from which to make her decisions and guide the things that she does each day. She is intelligent - but with far more than just book-learning. She is intelligent in the things of the Lord - which allows her to bless her husband and children not just with her teaching, but with the example of her life 24 hours every day. Her wise prudence allows her to see what is coming - how choices will effect the future - and what choices will make for God's greatest blessing on her and her family. Truly the gift of this kind of woman in a man's wife is a gift from God. Whereas money can be good or bad for us - a prudent wife will be blessing at all times. Her influence on a home and on children and grandchildren will bless a family for multiple generations. When the Scriptures tell us that her worth is beyond gold, silver, and precious stones - it is not kidding us. When you have a prudent wife - you are being blessing with a fortune that will last long after the money and things in your life are rusted and dust. A man needs to look at these two verses and grasp wisdom. Wisdom means choosing eternal things - such as the blessing of your family for generations to come by submitting your "love life" fully into the hands of God. It means choosing a wife under His direction and with His values fully guiding your thinking. It may mean waiting - or turning away from a relationship with a young lady who looks good on the outside - but whose lack of discernment and godly wisdom will make her a serious liablilty to you and your family in the future. The wise man surrenders himself to God in every area - including the choice of a future wife. Remember you can have a constant dripping and a destructive son - or a purdent wife whose worth cannot be measured in gold, silver, and precious stones. The choice is yours - choose wisely! It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9
There are days when I would rather not have this blog due to the nature of the subject matter present. Today is one of those days. This is only because I would rather spend a thousand days dealing with men and their biblical responsibilities and their sin, than spend one having to point out sin to ladies. Too often in our perverted world women are bashed on these matters with caracitures that are unflattering at best, and just plain mean at other times. So ladies, today I will try to hug as closely to the text as possible - only using biblical examples as I seek to explain this passage. This proverb begins with a funny picture. We have a man sitting on the corner of his roof. He has decided that this is the better place for him to live. That seems very strange to us. Considering the exposure to the elements - and the sheer uncomfortable nature of living on just the corner of your roof - we are bewildered at this man's choice. What could be so bad that he would make such a choice? According to this proverb, it is the prospect of sharing his house with a contentious woman. What is a "contentious" woman? The Hebrew word used here is "madon" and it refers to someone who is filled with strife and dissension. It speaks in Proverbs 17:14 of a quarrel or dispute that cannot be stopped once it starts - or in Proverbs 18:19 of arguments and contentiousness that create barriers between people. It is usually associated with an evil heart and with a bad temper. Other sins associated with this sin of contention are lying, perversity, and hatred. These are pretty bad sins - especially when you consider that this is someone with whom you live on a regular basis in life. The relationship one has with their wife should be the closest in life - but when a wife is acting this way - it makes life miserable. This lady is miserable herself - and honestly - is making everyone else around her equally miserable. Rather than be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit (as is counselled by Scripture) she is filled with anger, resentment, hatred, and because of these things - a contentious spirit that is ready at a moment's notice to enter into strife and voice her continual dissent. No wonder this guy is sitting on the corner of his rooftop - it is the only place he may be able to get a little peace and quiet. Ladies, if you would indulge me for just a brief few moments, God desires you to be your husband's helper. This is the same term that is used to describe the Holy Spirit. You are called to come alongside your husband and cheer him on - calling him to be the man God wants him to be - and cheering loudly for him whenever he shows the slightest inkling toward that call. Let me let you ladies in on a secret. (All men need to stop reading at this point - and if you do - please do not bring up a vote to have my man-card revoked). Ladies, your words are so very impotant to your husband. You may think he doesn't listen - but he hears every word you say. Whether he chooses to admit it or not - your words are more important to him than any other that are spoken during his day. When you cut him down and constantly criticize him - it does more damage than a thousand comments made by anyone else. The reason this guy is living on the corner of his rooftop - is because he is hurting so bad that any indignity or discomfort would be better for him. He hurts because rather than being encouraged by his wife - he is torn down. That is something that honestly cannot be fixed by anything other than you changing how you speak to him. Yes, I understand that often men are lazy and not exactly taking up the mantle to be God's man. Yes, I understand that you get frustrated waiting for him to be that man. Yes, I also understand that it is not fair for him to dump the spiritual leadership of your home on you. BUT . . . being contentious will not help matters at all. Men will react to this by retreating further from their God-given task. If you would praise him and encourage him when you see the slightest advance, you might be surprised at what begins to happen. Who knows, you might even see him pack up his stuff from the corner of the roof (or man-cave, or garage, or shop, or wherever he hides) and emotionally and spiritually move back into the home. All I know is that wisdom tells me that we get more flies with honey than with vinegar. That means a sweet and gentle spirit will yield far more from your man than being contentious and filled with strife. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. ![]() Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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