A Wife is a Good Thing - Proverbs 18:22 - CALVARY CHAPEL OF JONESBORO

A Wife is a Good Thing - Proverbs 18:22

5/12/2012

He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

"It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him." These were the words of God in the garden before the Lord made Eve. This is why it is a good thing - and by the way, a God thing, that a man get married and find a wife. When he finds one - he has found a good thing - and has obtained favor from God. What I find interesting though about this proverb is that it does not say, "He who finds a good wife finds a good thing." Many would like for this passage to say this - but it does not. Let's look at this then for a few moments today to obtain wisdom on the favor God gives us when giving us a wife.

The Hebrew word for "finds" in this opening sentence is "masa" which means not just to find, but also to obtain. The word means mor than just stumbling upon something. The idea of finding here means that someone is searching for something. In this case what the man is searching for is a wife from the Lord. That is the key here. When he obtains one - it is a very good thing he has gotten. Think about the kind of wife God would have us have - especially if we find one that is according to wisdom. This woman would be of the Proverbs 31 kind - she would be a godly woman - and one who delights in her biblical role. This is why finding her is a good thing! Since good here means something beneficial - something that makes us happy, glad, and joyful - this is a lady that came to us from God as His provision for a wife.

When I consider this favor from God (Which is what we learn this lady is to her husband) I think of the way that one of my sons went about seeking a wife from God. The first thing he did was learn how to be satisfied with God - and with seeking God's ultimate purpose and plan for his life. As he did this, he learned not only about the gospel - but about the kind of woman God wanted to give him. He searched out the Scriptures to learn what kind of woman that God wanted for him, knowing that God's will would be the very best for him. In time he had a list of character traits he desired in a wife - and had also learned a list of character traits that God wanted him to have as a husband and father. As he sought the Lord for the grace to become this kind of man - he also sought Him for grace to be joined to this kind of woman. He is married now - and I can tell you that when you do things God's ways - God blesses wonderfully. I could not have hand picked a more godly, wonderful lady than the one that God gave to him. Watching the two of them walk together through life is one of my greatest joys.

But before I leave this proverb, I think I also need to address the other end of this blessing as well. Some marry in a way that is not so wise. They may read this proverb and decide that they were not blessed in having a wife. They may see their wife as a curse rather than a blessing. But, contrary to what they think, this lady in their life is a blessing from God. There may have to be some discipline - and some character development - but the fact that this woman is a blessing is nonetheless a fact.

A wife is a blessing in that she rescues us from being selfish and self-centered. A wife is a blessing in that her femininity helps to break off the harsh edges of masculinity that need work. A wife is a blessing in that she is a provision for our sexual needs - so that we will not turn to pornography or to fornication. A wife is a blessing in that she is there to be a companion in our journey through life. Whether you fully access these blessings and many more may not be nearly as much a problem with her as it is a problem with you! We are so quick to adopt the view of the world and "blame the old lady." But God gave you your wife so that by your example and your choice you would lead her. When you do not - things don't work so well. So a wife is also a barometer of your walk with God. If you are living selflessly and for the will of God, you will most likely have a happy wife and a good marriage. But if you want a woman to be at your beckon-call and to do and be for you everything you want . . . well, you didn't want a wife - you wanted a slave. God meant to give you a wife - and that is for your benefit . . . and your sanctification and maturity. This is why no matter what kind of wife you received from God - she is a good thing - and you have received favor. You may just need to have your eyes opened so that you can see her that way. And I can promise you by the Word of the Lord - that if your eyes are opened to see this beautiful lady God has given you the way you should - you will see her as His glorious blessing to you!

33 Comments

Carlyne Lado

2/2/2018 11:50:00 pm

I love this, you have explained it so easy and beautiful. Wow please I would like to get more from your writing.

Johnson

4/6/2018 08:08:07 pm

Wonderful explain the SCRIPTURE PROVERBS18:22
I thank God for you and keep on Gods work

Leasa Click

4/20/2018 06:14:15 pm

This particular chapter and verse has been explained to me thouroghly. Thank yoj

Rex Jones

4/23/2018 12:32:56 am

Thanks lm single.but i have wonderfull friend please pray for us Rex and Jenny
I love her But we keep hitting walls .ljust need to keep praying for breakthru Thankyou

Know

9/2/2018 03:20:19 am

Hitting walls is part of development. They are a process, you cannot agree in all things through and through but mutual compromising.

Terra Reynolds

5/19/2018 07:26:26 am

I just found this website and I love it, please be praying for me. I am an addict and I am trying to get completely clean from everything including stopping smoking cigarettes. I want a relationship with God. I want to learn how to love God 1st then my husband then my children. I keep getting horrible thoughts about how my husband and children would be better off with me dead.. please pray for me

Karthik

7/29/2018 10:54:02 am

Hi Terra,
The Bible says "if you acknowledge and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord [recognizing His power, authority, and majesty as God], and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." -ROMANS 10:9
To be saved means to be freed from the kingdom of darkness. It means you become a new creature i.e., a new spirit (2Cor5:17) and now you belong to your Creator(God's kingdom) and are made his daughter. God seals you by the Holy Spirit (Eph 1:13).
You need to walk in this new life with the help of God (His word, the Bible and His Spirit who comes to dwell in you)
It's a walk of faith (not of what you feel) by which you overcome sinful acts or mental depression or suicidal thoughts i.e., just as you believed in Jesus, you then believe in what the Bible says you have received through the death and resurrection of Jesus!

John Lawrence link

7/30/2018 10:08:34 am

Terra - I prayed for you as you asked. Just thought I also needed to comment further on your post. Not every thought is either yours or one that the Holy Spirit may prompt in your thinking. Those thoughts that say your family would be better off with you dead are not from God. Let me try to explain. Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 right now then come back to the comment. This passage says, "we are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ . . . " There are speculations about God that are not godly - there are also lofty things and thoughts that will oppose the knowledge of God and obedience to Christ. When these thoughts come to our minds - they are from the enemy of our souls. There are actually several sources where thoughts come from - external stimulus - like a radio or TV ad - or something you read or hear. There are thoughts that come from your own thinking and contemplation. There are thoughts that come as a result of the work of the Holy Spirit - Who wants to exalt Jesus - and who works to help us understand Scripture. There are also thoughts that come from the evil one who seeks to plant things in our minds - and then have us think they are our thoughts. The Scriptures remind us that Satan (called "The thief") comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He is also called a Liar and the Father of lies by Jesus in John chapter 8. So all thoughts that run through your mind are from you. When a thought is of suicide, or that you would be better off dead - that is NOT GOD! God comes to bring life and bring it abundantly. He may convict you of sin - but will never degrade you with insulting names. He is not one who ever leads anyone to commit suicide. Now - what to do when these thoughts come to mind. First - reject them. If you need to even say out loud - I reject that thought. Second - believe the truth. This is done by filling your mind with Scripture - which I suggest you begin to memorize. Reject the wrong, evil, "kill, steal, destroy" kind of thoughts - and then replace them with God's Word. Read Joshua 1:8 as well as Psalm 1:1-3 now. In fact, memorize them for future use. In regard to these specific thoughts - oppose them with John 10:10 (The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy; but I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly.) Do not give in to self-pity - but fight these thoughts with the divinely powerful weapons you have - the blood of Jesus and the cross of Christ. I hope this helps. You are a blessing to your family and to others around you. Stand strong against these lies and draw near to God.

John Lawrence

7/30/2018 10:15:00 am

Just saw where about half way though I wrote, "So, all thoughts are from you" - when I meant to write - So, all thoughts are NOT from you. Sorry for the typo.

Angie

8/30/2018 12:11:12 pm

Read "The Power of Right Believing - 7 Keys to Freedom from Fear, Guilt, and Addiction", and "Grace Revolution", both books by Pastor Joseph Prince.

David

9/3/2020 09:29:26 pm

Terra,
Please don't think for a nanosecond that your husband and children will be better off without you. That is Satan trying to use the "Battlefield of the Mind" on you. See, Satan has peeked into some point in your future and knows what it is that God has for you, and seeks to destroy you. Remember in Genesis, Satan came and tempted the Woman, and got into her mind and upon listening to him, lead to She and Adam's spiritual demise with God. Adam and Eve were the first marriage that God put together...and Satan attacked...he still does. The way of the world is "if it doesn't work out, get a divorce and start all over again." Also, stop calling yourself an addict...that's what the world calls you..God calls you redeemed and Blessed..just continue to walk towards Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and He'll deliver you from any situation, circumstance or addiction. God is Greater than anything and all things combined. God allowed you to be found by your Husband, so please KNOW YOUR WORTH. You've been blessed with children...KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!! God will not Bless those whom are not worthy of such. This may sound odd, but you say you want a relationship with God. Well, how that is done is in very similar fashion to how your relationship with your husband came about. Upon initially meeting your husband, you two talked and spent time together and the relationship grew and grew. It works the same way with God. If you want to talk to God, Pray...If you want God to talk to you, read his Word in the Bible. Daily, just start by just praying to God, and reading a few pages, if not just one page of the Bible everyday. Soon, you'll start to apply that which you've read, and you'll see God work in every aspect of your life the likes of which you never have expected. I'll be the first to tell you, I'm no theologian or preacher. Im just someone who prays that God grant me Proverbs 18:22 and Proverbs 31. I'll admit in many cases I've self sabotaged this effort by listening to pseudo friends, through fear of failure..fear of commitment. I'm currently 50 yrs old, single never been married, no children. Ive spent 22 yrs in the Army. I am Still awaiting my Special Angel, called "WIFE" and cherubs called "CHILDREN". The biggest thing I fear is having a wife and children and losing my job and not being able to provide for them. Ive been told by my real friends and family, "David, that can happen to anybody, and does on a daily basis. True failure will only come if you stop trying. It's not like you are not intelligent or educated or have no marketable skill set in which to be viably employed. you cannot let fear rob you of the best part of the human experience, and find yourself as an old lonely childless man saying "I woulda, coulda, shoulda". I'll end here and continue to pray for you and your family. Take care and God's continued Blessings on the lives of you and your family. Once again, my name is David. I'd love to hear how all of this turns out for you. Email:[email protected]

Scient

11/16/2021 01:02:42 am

Say lord Jesus I surrender my will to you I surrender my burden, my yoke I take yours for it is light for you do the carrying and the pulling for me I accept your grace I thank that my addiction is broken because of what you have done for me on the cross iam saved I receive you love. I receive deliverence from my addiction. I don't condemn myself Amen

WEALTH

6/12/2018 11:22:05 am

I love this piece...

Bobby Hill

7/3/2018 12:09:44 am

I would love to meet you in person come to your church and maybe speak on the subject on the Bible thank you for the word the word was great you know God said the word goes out and will not come back void so thank you once again and God bless

SMNP

7/9/2018 09:50:45 am

I am in love with someone, she is only 23. I am way older than her. I love her and I want to marry her. We never met each other, though we live in the same city. I met this woman online. She is not interested in meeting me or marrying me. And I want to marry this woman only. How to obtain her as my wife? Is God not showing mercy on me? Why God's favor is not with me?
I know - I am not handsome, I am not rich, I am not educated, I am not talented, I am not very young, way older than her. But I do have a desire to marry. I love her to death. Can God do this impossible thing to me, and bring her into my life??? If God doesn't bring her into my life, then I don't need this life. Please pray for me. Thank you.

Lila

5/14/2019 02:00:06 pm

Women are not here to please you! That woman did not owe you anything. I know this is an old comment, but it needs to be addressed. Leave her alone. When a woman says no, she's means it. God isn't a genie granting wishes. Get over your feelings and actually consider what is best for her, it's obviously not you.

Pilar Drew

8/16/2019 09:10:30 pm

SMNP, I am not sure why somehow I understand your sentiments. God can do impossible things, All things. And see to it that they are all according to His will and His plans. We cannot order God what to do and if not we will turn to be 4 years old and hurt ourselves when not get what we want. You are an adult individual and link to that is being responsible to your actions and your feelings. I believe that God wants you to have relationship to Him first before He will give you the woman you desire. Have a desire to know God first. Seek His Kingdom first and everything will be added to you.

Darline Easter link

8/3/2018 08:40:33 am

Thank you for your revelation knowledge on this scriptures. Many have taken this scripture out of context and used it to fulfill their own desires of what is God's favor and they have missed the true meaning and blessings of God. I will share this commentary with others.

eric juan lava

8/16/2018 10:03:46 pm

Me and the Missus were quarreling and it drove me to desperation. That morning i fervently prayed for guidance. I looked at my phone bible...and lo and behold this was the verse of the day....HE actually took time from HIS infinitely busy schedule to personally tell me to always view my wife as a source of maturation and sanctification..hence,A GOOD THING....no matter how unfair the circumstances are.....Thank you for helping GOD make it clear for me....GOD bless you.

Aline

8/17/2018 12:32:04 am

I am 19 I fell in love with this guy who is just 22 yrs. . .The only thing I don't like about him is that he says he is a prophet and was chosen by God I don't like this especially the way he gets when we meet coz he gets all sexual shouldn't prophets behave themselves . .

8/18/2018 01:44:18 pm

Aline . . . Ok - there is so much I want to say. First of all - the guy who says that he is a prophet - and then acts in a sexually immoral way (which is what it is called biblically when a man "gets all sexual" when he approaches his girlfriend - the term used is actually - fornication - if intercourse is involved). But even it the activity does not include intercourse - the Scriptures state, "It is good for a man not to touch a woman" in 1 Corinthians 7. The Greek word for "touch" in that passage means to touch her sexually. Back to what I started saying - a man who calls himself a prophet - and then acts in a sexually immoral way with his girlfriend is a false prophet. A true prophet of God would not just "behave himself" - he should be an example of holiness and acting in a way that honors God - and honors the woman he supposedly loves. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 says this - "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. 8 So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.

1. God's will is to ABSTAIN from sexual immorality!
2. God wants him (and you) to possess your sexuality in "sanctification and honor" - purity is God's will. This is further defined as - not in "lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God." If he acts in a lustful, immoral way - he is acting as if he doesn't even know God.
3. When the Scripture speaks of "not defrauding your brother in the matter" it refers to two things. FIRST - your father - for anyone who acts immorally toward you is defrauding your father - who should have taught you to refrain from sexual relations until after you are married. I have 4 daughters - and we did everything we could to teach and encourage them to save themselves for their husbands sexually. SECOND - he is defrauding your future husband - your purity was given to you as a gift from God - that gift is meant to be given to your husband (and by the way his purity was given to him by God to be given to his wife - there is no double standard with God - men and women are to be pure). He cannot guarantee he will be your husband - unless he gets on his knees and asks you to marry him. Even then he is to keep your purity in tact until after marriage. NOTE - God says He will avenge these kind of things - which this guy should already know - because he's a prophet right!?

Then the Word tells us we were not called by God for the purpose of impurity - but in sanctification (holiness). Then Paul ends this with the statement that if we reject this - which this guy has because he is acting in immorally - he is rejecting both God and the Holy Spirit.

Aline - what I just wrote you is Scripture (and there is volumes more than this that say the exact same thing). This guy does NOT love you. If he did - he would want the best for you spiritually - which is to abstain from sexual immorality. Please pray and seek God - as to whether He wants you in a relationship with someone who is clearly disobeying Scripture and who is trying to mask it by claiming to be a prophet - which he is not.

I'm sorry that this sounds so tough. I just have a very hard time with men who treat their girlfriends (and often even their wives) in this way. Someone who loves you will never try to force himself on you sexually - or even have you act in a way that is contrary to your conscience. May God give you wisdom and courage to step away from this relationship and seek God for a truly godly man who will love you as God desires for him to love.

8/17/2018 12:57:56 am

This explanation was lovely! Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. I have a question: I’m a teenager going into adulthood, and a few days ago I was reminded that salvation cannot be lost. But I started going to church as a young child, and I started building a relationship with God when I was young. I don’t think I truly believed in Jesus’ existence when I “surrendered” to him, it felt and still feels more as if I WANT him to exist, but him being a part of history is still very fuzzy and unclear to me. So right now I don’t even know if I have obtained salvation or not. Please help, any words of wisdom will help greatly.

Kisha

8/17/2018 07:17:42 am

God can not fail! We all have doubted. In the Bible Thomas doubted. But know for certain that God who began a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 Keep God first and keep living. You are under the grace of Jesus Christ. Be blessed!!!

8/18/2018 01:19:18 pm

EF - The historicity of Jesus is an established thing. Let me encourage you to get a book called, "MORE THAN A CARPENTER" by Josh McDowell. It will be very helpful. Also - a Jewish historian named Josephus (who was not a Christian) wrote in his history that Jesus existed. You may want to access this article - https://probe.org/ancient-evidence-for-jesus-from-non-christian-sources-2/ - it deals with the ancient evidence for Jesus from sources outside the Bible. BUT - if we are going to throw away the Bible as evidence - we may want to think about how that will affect how we should view any other ancient historical person. Some other things you should consider is that those who wrote either in defense of Jesus or against Him never wrote anything about whether they doubted His historical existence. Justin Martyr debated with Trypho in the 2nd century about Jesus - but neither of them doubted for a moment He was a historical person. Even the writers of the Talmud (a Jewish writing of that period) may have debated whether they believed Jesus was God - or the source of His miracles being evil rather than from God's power - but they did not ever debate that He was a historical person.

Now - as to whether you are a believer or not - that is based on whether you've come to repentance and faith in Jesus (Acts 20:20-21). I'd encourage you to access the GOSPEL part of our website - and read the gospel presentation there.

Here is how I work with those who struggle as to whether they are are Christians or not. Salvation is based on FACT not on your feelings. Here are the facts when you look at the salvation experiences of the Scriptures (primarily in Acts). Has there been a time you were convicted by the Holy Spirit (and Scripture) that you had sinned against God? (read Romans 3:10-23 and John 16:7-11) Has there been a time when the Holy Spirit has shown you the gospel - that Jesus came to earth to live a perfect life - then go to the cross to pay the price for sin (the judgment we deserve for it) - and that He died, was buried, and resurrected the third day - according to the Scriptures. When you understood you were a sinner and that Jesus was the Savior from your sin - were you then responding to God by repenting of your sin (turning from it - rejecting it as a lifestyle) and then putting your faith in what Jesus did to pay for your sin to make you right with God (sins forgiven and God's righteousness given to you as a gift) These are the things that happen in salvation - and afterward you have a desire to publically declare to the world that you've turned to Jesus - by being baptized and following Christ in His church.

I hope this helps. Like I said earlier, for a better presentation of it.
https://www.calvarychapeljonesboro.org/the-gospel.html

MUDENDA DAVID

8/21/2018 07:25:56 am

i like this verse.

Nena

2/2/2019 12:37:26 pm

Great work. This is fantastic!

Mildred Turner

3/19/2019 04:11:13 am

Wow beautifully explained!!! Thank you for sharing.

Ponmile

5/8/2020 04:59:55 pm

This write-up was very helpful. I was trying to get full understanding of prov 18v22 when i stumbled on this website. I was blessed. Thanks

Remone Forbes

3/12/2021 10:14:37 am

Timeless notes, straight from the lips of God through the Holy Spirit to you to us. Amazing words, yet very powerful. Continue to be GREAT!!!!

Leo Stephen link

3/27/2021 04:43:26 am

This comments are so helpful,,, pls keep me in line so I can become strong in righteousness as David,,,

Cheza

6/22/2021 04:46:55 pm

I have fallen for my friend. He's older than me. We had a brief moment or two and everyone could see the chemistry. Even his dad saw it. He introduced me to a picture of his late mother and he then said to the picture "she's beautiful," he then told me his mum liked me.
I have had a word from god which was as clear as though he was sat next to me, I'd said in pray to God. God I need a husband. God replied with this guy's name. I laughed and said oh you are joking? God said I don't joke. (That's true) but then I had a picture of hands exchanging rings in the clouds when I asked god for a sign. But 4 years on and lots of faithful prayers later and I'm still waiting for this guy . Even though god keeps putting him in my prayers, I feel I'm struggling.

Michael

7/23/2021 04:55:34 pm

He who finds a wife finds a good thing.

A wife is not a thing, wife is a person not material.

A good thing here is marriage . So who he finds a wife finds a good (marriage) thing.

Wray_d_great

12/14/2023 04:26:09 am

I stumbled upon this article searching for the meaning of the word "FIND" the spirit of the Lord was teaching steps for my marriage using Matthew 13:44 . But this article really blessed me and enlarged my understanding. Thank you so much

Proverb A DAy