Category: Slander

When a Friend's Heart Doesn't Match His Words - Proverbs 26:24-26

9/21/2012

He who hates disguises it with his lips, But he lays up deceit in his heart. When he speaks graciously, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart. Though his hatred covers itself with guile, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly. Proverbs 26:24-26

This proverb is about how people can hate you in their heart while all the time speaking what seem like pleasant words from their mouths. It has to do with deceitfulness, guile, and ultimately . . . wickedness. A wise man read these things and learns that just because someone is "for you" with their words does not mean that they are really with you in the end. There are some who speak wonderful words in public, but their feelings and their support in private is a wholly different matter.

Most people do not speak openly about their hate of another. To do such a thing would immediately characterize them in a very negative light. It would also expose them in such a way that they would have no more influence with that individual - or with anyone who thinks favorable of them. Therefore it is better for the ungodly man to disguise his hatred. This, according to God's wisdom, is done with his lips. He speaks graciously of the one he hates, All this is done for the sake of appearance only. The whole time he speaks graciously and kindly of this man - he has quite another thing going on inside his heart. We are told that he is laying up deceit in his heart. He is deceiving others - and in some ways even deceiving himself. He hates the man he speaks kindly of - and considers him an enemy.

We are warned that when we come to a man like this, we need to look into his heart. There is lying within his heart - and there are also abominations - 7 of them to be exact. What are these abominations? There are a couple of possibilities. Jesus spoike of seven woes in Matthew 23. These were curses on the Pharisees and Saducees for the hypocrisy that they practiced. Here we have a man who hates his friend or acquaintence, being the picture of hypocrisy by speaking well of him and yet hating him in his heart. The seven thing Jesus speaks of may be similar to the abominations in this man's heart. This also may be related to the seven things God says He hates in Proverbs 6:16-19. The list here is full of things God absolutely despises. The way I lean on this is that the number seven used here speaks more of perfection. There is a perfect hate - that leads to a perfectly abominable attitude and heart filled with evil and hypocritical actions and thoughts toward this one who is hated.

The warning here I think is twofold. First of all, don't be a man like this. Don't be someone who speaks hypocritically of another - saying positive, gracious things about them while all the while holding hatred and wicked, abominable thoughts and plans in your heart. To live this way is so harmful to our spirit. It is also to embrace attitudes that are completely foreign to Almighty God and those who are transformed by the Holy Spirit to be more like Christ daily. The second lesson for us is learned as we hear a warning from God. Such a man as this will be exposed in the end. His hypocrisy and his falsehood will be revealed. The assmbly will see the duplicity of this man - for God Himself will expose him in the end.

Consider this one example as we draw our thoughts about this proverb to a close. Judas was the ultimate example of this proverb. He was with Jesus for three years - and yet in the end sold him for a slave's price as he betrayed the Lord. During that time Judas never exposed himself publicly as an enemy of Christ. Even his betrayal was false as he betrayed the Son of God with a kiss. He was unwilling for his heart of hatred and greed to be exposed publically - and yet it was exposed. In the gospels we learn that Judas was a thief who stole money out of their money box. He was a man who criticized the beautiful expression of Mary's love when she anointed the Lord's feet with her perfumed oil worth a year's wages. Judas spoke only because he knew such a stash would have netted him so much more money he could embezzle later. God fully exposed Judas' hypocrisy - revealing in the gospels all the lies, deceit, and guile that he hid for three years. In the end he was exposed - showing both his hypocrisy and his horrific end - hanging from a tree dead and hopeless.

Do not be a betrayer - a liar - and a fraud in your friendships. Speak the truth - and if it is hard truth to hear - speak it in love. Don't hide things by sounding one way with your friend - and a wholly different way when you are not physically with him. This is a lifestyle that God calls an abomination. Be a true friend - an honest one - and one who is the same whether seen or unseen. Such a friend is like The Lord.

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Gossip, Slanderer . . . Same Thing.

6/4/2012

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He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip. Proverbs 20:19

Did you know that God views gossip and slander as pretty much the same thing? That probably does not sit all that well with some who engage in the sin of gossip - but really do not see themselves as slanderers. Yet from what we will learn in today's proverb, pretty much one is the same as the other. The first thing we learn from today's proverb is that a slanderer reveals secrets. Usually when someone tells you something in confidence they do not want their information spread around. They would prefer that you keep the information to yourself. But the slanderer takes this information that should remain secret and spreads it freely. Since the term "slanderer" is used, we can only assume that the way this information is used is to tear someone down. The "secret" information that they hold about someone else is used to destroy them in the eyes of others. Whether shared as a fact – or as often happens in Christian circles – a prayer request – it has effectively slandered the one who shared it in confidence.

This Proverb therefore says that it is very unwise to "associate with a gossip. When we learn that a particular person is not trustworthy with secrets, we need to steer clear of an association with them. They are a gossip. The problem often is that gossips often congregate – around each other’s gossip. Therefore the wise man realizes that in hearing gossip he should check his own heart to make sure he himself is not part of a gossip circle. Once he determines this – he then should limit any association with the person who shared their gossip with him.

Loose lips sink ships. This was a saying during the war that spoke of the danger of secrets being revealed. The danger was that a spy could gain information about one of our ships going to help in the fight with Germany. In the wrong hands this information could have proven to be deadly. Therefore one needed to be very careful how they spoke – and even more careful what they spoke to whom. Another saying is also appropriate here. Loose lips sink lives. Gossips are guilty of slander that often sets someone’s life on fire. Their careless words cause havoc to come upon others. The truly wise man – avoids such people.

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How to Break Up Friends and Separate People! Proverbs 16:28

3/12/2012

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A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends. Proverbs 16:28

There are those who through their falsehood and gossip cause great harm to the relationships of others. This can be the case even with intimate friends. The first action of this man is to spread strife. The way that this man does this is through lies and slanderous falsehoods. He starts by lying to one friend of the other about the actions of their "so-called" friend. Those who will not listen to gossip will shut down this kind of ruiniation of another.

The slanderer is just as dangerous - but his falsehood and lies have a far more sinister goal in mind. He is not content to just spread strife and discord. Look at the proverb for today and not that the one filled with slander - does so not just to cause arguments - but also to separate a man from his friend. He has a target in view - and that target is a friendship of which he is very jealous. Why else would he desire to see this relationship destroyed.

Once someone can penetrate your mind with slanderous gossip - it is hard to remedy the situation. The desire is to serarate a man from his friend - so that the one who sabatoged this relationship can see it destroyed. That way he can have a better one - or at least keep the two former friends from making his relationships look weak and feeble. There are some who just are not happy unless they are making others miserable.

Be careful around such perverse, small-hearted people. They are filled with bitterness and hatred because they usually want what you have with a friend - but cannot get it because of their ungodly ways and how they are unable to maintain a relationship due to their own selfishness. Avoid these people like you would avoid the plague!

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Hidden Hatred Surfacing as Foolish Slander Proverbs 10:18

10/6/2011

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He who conceals hatred has lying lips, And he who spreads slander is a fool. Proverbs 10:18

One might think on the first reading of this proverb that God is encouraging those who have hatred to let their mouths voice it openly. But you need to remember that many of the proverbs start with a basic statement - and then that statement is explained with an added comment that further defines it. That is the way to understand the proverbs. If we do not read them this way - it is easy to grab a partial proverb and make it say something it was never meant to say.

What we have here is a proverb about hidden hatred later escaping through slander. The first part of this proverb speaks of one who is concealing their hatred by saying things they do not believe. An example of this is someone who says nice things or supportive things of someone when they are around that person. Inwardly they despise this person - but they do not allow their hatred to be expressed when around them. But do not be deceived by their lying lips - because deep within them they are churning with a hatred that will surface in time.

Their hatred surfaces in what is said in the second part of this proverb. They begin to spread slander. They will not speak openly about their hatred of a person, a viewpoint, a decision, etc. But later they will begin a slander campaign to express their hatred. Put very plainly - they won't tell someone openly they hate them - but in private and with others they will let their hatred fly by slandering them often.

The one who does this is a fool. The Scriptures says that it is better to openly rebuke someone than to secretly slander them. If there is a biblical issue that needs to be addressed, then address it privately with the person. If there is a view that needs to be opposed - then oppose it where a debate of ideas can be had. If there is a decision that is wrong - then openly state that it is wrong. To allow a hatred to build up in our hearts is not just foolish - it is dangerous. In time it will surface in slanderous gossip. We WILL eventually have our hatred come out - and when it does - it will not be pretty.

You may not like someone who openly confronts you - who rebukes and questions a view you have taken - or who disagrees with you publically. But one thing is for sure. You have far more respect for someone who does this, then for someone who speaks open words of support - but follows them up with slanderous gossip when you are no longer around. Such a man is a fool - and his actions will come back to roost eventually. Speak the truth in love - and if you disagree with someone and do not feel God wants you to speak out - then love them by interceding for them. Hatred, gossip, and slander has NEVER helped any situation where it was used. It has only made for fools and for deep hurt by those who have been injured by it.

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Employer - Employee relationships . . . Proverbs 30:6

1/30/2010

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Do not slander a slave to his master, Or he will curse you and you will be found guilty. Proverbs 30:10

Here is an interesting proverb that speaks to a couple of issues. First it speaks to the issue of gossip. We are being told not to slander a slave to his master. The slander here is speaking false, damaging statements against a third party to someone. We are not to speak with our mouths that which is false and slanderous. What I love here is that God seeks to protect the weakest with this admonition. God's statement here is protecting a slave - who is slandered to his master. Too many think that just because a man is not a person of power and influence - they do not have the same rights as others. Our system of justice seeks to right this wrong - and it was based in many ways on the teaching of Scripture. God wanted to protect the weakest from even the strongest. Justice is blind - and should be the same whether when dealing with a poor man or a rich one. In the same way - we should refrain from gossiping about anyone - no matter what their status in life. What I find interesting is that God says in Psalm 101:5 that He Himself will avenge this kind of action with destruction.

The second thing to note here is that God does care about employer/employee relationships. He wants a basic fairness to be used when dealing with these situations. Thus the Lord speaks to the idea of a slave being slandered to his master. We do not want these relationships to turn bitter and divided. In the early years of this century employers took such bad advantage of their employees that they began to unionize. This was profitable in the short run - but has become a disaster in the long term. Now we have groups whose whole purpose is to stimulate bad blood between employer and employee. This will not be good for business in the long run. That is why even the slave is given recourse here. He is allowed to bring charges against the false statements made about him. Therefore all in society are reminded that there is a basic justice that will prevail in the dealings of men with other men.

In the end, though, we are reminded that God wants us to shut our mouths when it comes to slander and gossip. How much better served we are to make such matters a chance to pray hard to know what to do and how to do it. That way we do not foment the kind of anger and hatred that has been the downfall of many businesses. Let us be reminded that God does not want mob rule. But let us also be reminded that those who do not want mob rule, must embrace those in authority over them, pray for them, and talk with them in a respectable manner.

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When a Friend's Heart Doesn't Match His Words - Proverbs 26:24-26

Gossip, Slanderer . . . Same Thing.

How to Break Up Friends and Separate People! Proverbs 16:28

Hidden Hatred Surfacing as Foolish Slander Proverbs 10:18

Employer - Employee relationships . . . Proverbs 30:6

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