 Proverbs 11:22 As a ring of gold in a swine's snout so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.
True Beauty is something that goes beyond the mere outward appearance of a person. The wise man realizes this and sees through a person with outward beauty who inwardly is very ugly to behold. To help with this task, God gives us a picture that is both a little bit funny as well is so graphic that we will not soon forget it. We are first given the picture of a beautiful ring of gold. This was an ornament that was highly sought after in biblical times. It was considered a sign of beauty to have a ring of gold in a woman’s nose. If you want to debate that - you only need to turn to Genesis 24:47 where the servant of Abraham met Rebekah, as he sought a wife for Issac his son. When he saw her and learned that she was the one God had chosen for Issac, he responded by putting gold bracelets on her wrists and a gold ring in her nose. These were considered objects of beautification. But as we look at this object of beautification we see that is it firmly ensconced in the snout of a swine. If one is honest about things, he would have to admit that a ring of gold is not going to beautify a swine. There is no pig or hog that we are going to consider beautiful simply because we give him a gold ring in his nose. It is still a pig. The ring is still a thing of beauty, but its location on a swine ruins the object of beauty completely. The pig is no more desirable than before and now the ring of gold has been devalued. God uses this picture to put a certain response into our minds. It doesn’t matter how pretty that ring is, it’s gross when it is in a pig’s snout! Now God is ready for His comparison. God’s second picture begins with a beautiful woman. The word beautiful simply means something lovely. It was used of Sarah, Tamar, and Esther to speak of a beauty so great that others saw these women and desired them. Theirs was a striking beauty that set them apart from other women. So God speaks of this strikingly beautiful woman whose beauty should be desirable, except for one problem. She lacks discretion. When used in this kind of context, the Hebrew word for discretion speaks of someone who lacks moral or sexual discretion. To put it bluntly - this is a sexually immoral woman. To some who are unwise, this would be even better. She’s gorgeous and she’s easy. But we need to remember that when God speaks in proverbs - there is a direct comparison. What is it that we should see then? If a woman is very good looking yet sexually immoral, she is about as pretty as a pig with a gold ring in its snout. The point God wants to get across is that she’s ugly! Doesn’t matter how “hot” she looks - if she’s immoral, she’s ugly! Things get worse when you begin to get the comparison. The swine in this picture is the immorality - it is what should gain the most notoriety in our mind’s eye. The beautiful woman . . . she’s just a ring of gold hanging from the swine’s snout. Her beauty is ruined by her lack of discretion when it comes to an understanding of sex. God is wanting us to get the picture! There is rarely a time when I am not working on this with young men in a discipling situation. Because our culture is completely insane when it comes to sexual matters, one of the greatest threats to their spiritual growth is the problem of the lust of the eyes. Our culture throws beautiful women at us like a group of athletic boys trying to get the last kid out in a dodge ball game. Therefore, I make my guys memorize this verse of Scripture. As we learn it though, I take the liberty of describing exactly what a ring of gold would look like on the average fattened sow in the barnyard. A huge sow is not a pretty sight by itself - but I focus on the ring of gold run through its snout. I won’t go any further than to say I’ve had guys almost gagging by the time I got done with my description. Do I do this just to be gross and be one of the guys? Absolutely not! I do it for the same reason that Solomon did it for those he wrote to in this part of Proverbs. They need to have an instant thought come to their mind when they see a beautiful woman who is immoral in her behavior. This image needs to come to mind when the thought arises to look at a pornographic image - when they are tempted by a skimpily clad woman in a commercial - when they face the choice to see a movie or TV show where a female character is beautiful outwardly, but who is nothing more than a swine with a gold ring in its snout. That gross picture I described to them - is what I want coming into their minds as a direct comparison to the beautiful discretion-less woman. My hope is that rather than lust after her and enter into sin, they will see the swine, be grossed out, and choose righteousness instead. My hope is that they will remember that they have made a covenant with their eyes. My hope is that they will remember that God has not created us for the purpose of sexual immorality but in sanctification. My hope is that they will not be caught by a piece of fruit that looks good to their eyes - is desirable to them - but will only yield death. Pictures do interesting things for us. In this one God hopes to help men, young and old, see beauty is not merely an outward attribute. True beauty is when a woman fears God and dresses and lives chaste. So guys - hope I’ve ruined you for any woman except that one God has chosen for you. That was my purpose in the first place. Just needed an indelible picture burned on the retina of your hearts. God’s picture will do just fine . . . and you’re welcome!
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Proverbs 7:1 My son, keep my words And treasure my commandments within you.
The seventh chapter of Proverbs is also known among the Hebrews as the 15th Lesson of Solomon. Here we find Solomon offering wisdom to his son concerning women who would try to seduce him. He also explains to his son in graphic detail the stupidity of the young man who falls prey to her seduction. What we learn from Solomon’s example is that fathers need to teach their sons about the dangers of being seduced by women. Most dads shrink from this responsibility – especially when put in the straightforward language used here in Scripture. This is to the detriment of their sons – and the ability and wisdom they need to fend off such women. It is also to their sons’ demise that they do not warn of how, what I will call, “sudden sexual stupidity syndrome” can strike if they are not careful and wise. That syndrome strikes when men of any age, in the throes of temptation, shut their minds off – listen solely to their sexual desires – and act with incredible stupidity to gratify their desires by engaging in sexual immorality. Before we are finished reading the seventh chapter of Proverbs we will be somewhat shocked at the graphic way the wiles of the sexual seductress are described. The Bible is not prudish when telling us how an immoral woman uses her words and her promises to lure naïve, unwise young men into an evening of sexual immorality. But at the beginning a reminder is given to the young man that we would be wise to remember as well. It is good for us to be reminded that this battle is not going to be won through the use of strategies and methods of the world. What this young man is told to do is what everyone will need to do if they are to win this battle. Keep my words! That is the first point of wisdom. The word “keep” here we’ve seen several times by now in Proverbs. It means to watch over, guard, and be careful about something. Here it refers to what the father is saying to his son. Dads! Do you hear this! You MUST talk to your sons about these things! If nothing else – read the seventh chapter of Proverbs with them. Sexual morality is not something natural to fallen mankind – especially among young men! Our culture has abandoned all biblical wisdom in this regard. Therefore – DAD, SPEAK UP! Your sons won’t have any wise ammunition with which to fight if you are withholding it from them by remaining silent. The book of Proverbs deals with this same issue in chapters 2, 5, 6, and 7 with long discourses by a father to his son. We also have multiple individuals like David, Amon, Solomon, and Samson from whom we can learn the dangers of stepping outside of God’s boundaries for sex. Dads, you certainly don’t lack material – so step up and protect your children – especially your sons! Treasure my commandments within you! That is the second point of wisdom given to the son. Here we need to remember that the commandments are not ours – but God’s. Teach your sons the Word of God. Teach them by example – as you memorize and treasure up Scripture within your own heart. Take the time to search out specific passages you and your sons can learn to fight sexual sin. I’ve put a small list of them at the bottom of this post if you need a place to start. The reason to do this is because God has a promise for those who treasure His Word in this fight. Psalm 119:9-11 instructs us as follows, “How can a young man keep his way pure, but keeping it according to Your Word. With all my heart I have sought You, do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your Word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.” This cannot get any clearer! God specifically says this is for young men wanting to keep their way pure. The way is to watch over your life with the Word of God as your guide for acceptable sexual behavior. Then there is an example. Oh dads, follow this and show it to your sons in your life! It is the example of a man praying he would seek God with all his heart. It is an example of a man requesting God’s help in not wandering away from God’s commandments. Finally, we are told that when we treasure God’s Word within us (which is the same thing said in Proverbs 7) – we will NOT sin against God! One thing to note here is that the word “treasure” means much more than just memorizing something. I had to memorize the Gettysburg Address when I was in school – but I can promise you I did not treasure it. To treasure the Word in our hearts is to value it highly and to consider it riches and great wealth to us! I treasure words that my wife has spoken to me because they remind me of her love. I treasure the words of my children because they remind me of how very dear they are to me. I treasure God’s Word in my heart because He has spoken; He has promised; He has given love to me that lasts forever. Finally, I treasure the Word also because it is my sword in fighting the enemy in my mind and winning the battle against sexual temptation and sin. If ever there needed to be a clarion call to fathers – it would need to be the call to step up and give your son both your word – and God’s Word in fighting sexual sin. Our delinquency on this has led to losing many in this generation to the standards of the world. We see it every day – and as dads we face the same kind of temptations every day. Don’t leave your sons to fight this battle alone! Don’t leave them to enter battle defenseless – absent of any weapons mighty through God to fight this fight! Talk to your sons whether they are boys or even if they are fully grown and gone from your home. Earn that right through treasuring the Scripture in your own heart and fighting the good fight before them. Then speak to them. Have your own moment when as a battle-hardened veteran and commander – you issue your “Be a Man” speech to them. I’m not referring to a “Braveheart” kind of speech – but more of a “Second-hand Lions” kind of speech. The kind where we tell our sons how to live – because we tell them Who and what is worth living for! Being a slave to sexual sin and our fickle desires – that is not living. Experiencing God’s victory over them and then loving one woman well to the glory of God – that men is living! Loving her and also loving the children than come from your union . . . that, my brothers – is worth living for! Like a trampled spring and a polluted well Is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked. Proverbs 25:26
A spring or well holds such promise. When we come to one or hear of one there is the hope of clear fresh water. We can drink and be refreshed. Yet to come to one and find it trampled to where it is dirty and filled with mud and pollutants is such a disheartening thing. This is true in the realm of water - but how much more so when applied to the lives of godly men. This trampled spring or polluted well is actually a godly, righteous man who surrenders and gives way before the wicked. Giving way has the idea of wavering, wobbling and shaking before one falls. The fall is imminent and that is what all the movement indicates is coming. The Hebrew also indicates it can be a foot slipping or a fire flaming out. This picture in the Hebrew is applied to a righteous man who faces the true test of his righteousness. THE test is when he stands before the wicked. He chooses to face such a test by walking in righteousness, and that might cost him dearly. The test may be as little as the disagreement of others - and it may be as large as facing martyrdom for his stand. Regardless the situation, this righteous man chooses instead to give way - to wobble and totter in his views. He changes his mind - or acts contrary to it. His pollution and trampling come as a result of not standing firm in his convictions. He does not hold to the Word in such situations - but gives way before the world instead. There are so many men and women in history who have given way before the wicked. They have chosen the way of peace - at least peace on this earth. There will be no peace for them in the end when they stand before God. But they do not want to rock the boat. The conclusion of such matters is that a life that could have been so refreshing to others is trampled and polluted. Now all it does it disappoint those who needed a refreshing drink. What they could have offered is ruined - because they chose to waver in their faith before the wicked. There is another way that we give way before the wicked. It is not as public as the outright denial of Christ contained in a renunciation. Yet this kind of "giving way" happens in a secret tribunal - the one that comes up in our hearts when wickedness comes and asks for our obedience. There are secret forays into sin - and secret moments when we give way before the wicked. Such things are not public displays - but they nevertheless muddy he waters of our heart. It might be a little while lie we chose to indulge in - or a look that begins innocently, but ends in an adulterous heart. It might be a way we've cheated or cut corners at work to not give our best for God's glory and the testimony of His name. Whatever it is, it tramples our well - and muddies the waters of our heart so that we cannot give as clear a drink of clean, life-giving water to others from the well of our hearts - that should be flowing outward with the rivers of living water of the Holy Spirit. There is hope for those who have thus fallen in the New Testament. Peter gave way before the wicked - and that could have been the final message of his life. Fortunately for him Christ came and offered grace and forgiveness. He called Peter to repentance - and then back to usefulness. In no way do I want to lessen the truth of this passage - that righteous men need to stand in righteous views when the wicked come wanting them to compromise. Godly men need to remain godly when the ungodly want them to "tone it down" and lower their standards (which most often means to lower the standards of Scripture). We do need to stand firm and hold to the Word rather than the world. But, when we do fall, it is good to know that when we confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive them. Nevertheless, we need to be wise and stand firm when confronted by the wicked. To do otherwise may mean allowing a well or spring that could offer many a fresh drink of the water of the Word, nothing more than the muddy, polluted waters of sinful compromise with the world. There are plenty of places where you can be served a drink of that kind of swill. May God help us to be men and women who stand firm on the gospel - which grants us power to stand - and also gives us grace to get up even if we've made the mistake of giving way before sin in our lives. May we be wise and choose righteousness and holiness so that the waters of our heart not be muddied with the pollution of sin and compromise. This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, And says, "I have done no wrong." Proverbs 30:20
One of the worst aspects of sexual sin is the way that is blinds us to the truth. Here we have a proverb dealing with the women who commits adultery. Her way is to indulge her sin as one would sit down to a big meal - then wipe her mouth afterwards and boldly state that she has done nothing wrong. She is completely blind and arrogantly unmoved by her actions and by the Word of God which proclaims them wicked. We are living in the days of sin that looks just like this. We have those who live openly in their sin - and argue that such a lifestyle choice is not sin. God has proclaimed that adultery is sin - and that commandment from the time of Moses still stands this day without having been weakened in the slightest. Some might protest that Jesus forgave the woman caught in the very act of adultery. I would agree - but would add that after he gave her the most gracious forgiveness, He also stated to her that she should go her way and SIN NO MORE. When He gave her grace - it was the grace of God that teaches us NOT TO SIN. It was not grace that condoned sin. And just in case some have forgotten the rest of the gospel - He eventually bore her sin to calvary's cross and paid the full measure of God's wrath for it. When a society begins to weaken its moral stances on adultery and sexual sin, it is preparing that society for horrible consequences. When that lax morality reaches the point where adulterous women and men are allowed to embrace their wickedness while openly proclaiming that they've done nothing wrong - such a society is at the breaking point. It cannot stand much longer because its very foundations are crumbling to the ground. Please pray for the United States - praying for revival in the church and awakening among the lost. We've abandoned our moral underpinnings handed down to us from our forefathers. We need for God to first revive His church so that we will once again hold fast to biblical morals - regardless of what is currently morally in style in our nation. Unless this work of revival happens among us first, there will be no awakening among the lost. We must put our moral house in order - dealing with our sexual sins. Then we will have the moral authority to speak to our nation - to pray for our nation - and to witness the people of our nation return to the Lord and to the sanity of sexual morality. May God have mercy on us - and revive and restore us in this most desperate of days. The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. Proverbs 6:32
This passage deals with the stupidity of committing adultery, plain and simple. Several years ago Randy Alcorn wrote a book called, "The Purity Principle." In it I felt that Alcorn made a statement that is one for the ages. "Purity is always smart, impurity is always stupid." That is what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell us today in Proverbs. "The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense." This is a very genteel way of saying what Alcorn said. We could restate his principle by saying that faithfulness in marriage is always good, adultery is always stupid. The actual words used here are the ones that are used often in Proverbs. The one who commits adultery with a woman lacks heart. We are being told that adultery shows that we have a heart problem more than anything else. We've allowed our hearts to be captured by lust and sexual immorality rather than by God. While reading a series of purity prayers I've run into the statement again and again where the puritans asked God to capture their heart so that they would not be satisfied by trifling affections. The heart can be captured in this way - and given to things that are so far less than what God wants to give us. The truth is what He wants to give us in Himself. We settle for so much less and so less fulfilling things than Him. And that is what the fool has done - he has settled for adultery rather than finding in God and in His provision of his wife true fulfillment. We are also warned in this passage that, ". . . he who would destroy himself does it." The literal Hebrew says that the destruction is in this man's soul. He finds his mind strangely drawn and lied to by the enticements of the adulterous woman. He finds his emotions stimulated by a false love and false promises of intimacy and pleasure. As he foolishly begins to embrace these thoughts and these concepts he also begins to lose the war within his will to continue in God's ways and in God's path. Soon he gives in to the onslaught that is coming toward his soul. He no longer lives out of his spirit - where the Spirit of God would give him strength to resist and overcome temptation - but instead allows himself to be taken over by his body and its lusts. As he does this He submits himself to the adultery - and in so doing he "destroys" himself in the process and the sinful choice. Destroy here is the Hebrew word, "sahat" and it means to spoil, ruin, destroy, pervert, or corrupt. When you look at these ways of translating this word they all fit this passage - and all take place as this man acts foolishly by committing adultery. For the next several days we will look at the terrible consequences and the wise warnings that God gives us in this area. Remember that this entire conversation is one that takes place between a man and his sons. How wise we would be to have this kind of conversation with our sons as they get older and begin to face the temptations of this present world. How wise we would be to also have these kinds of conversations with our adult sons who are married, as well as with our brothers in Christ with whom we share fellowship in God's church. Since these things are written about so many times in Proverbs - it is a reminder that the wise also warn one another with the very warnings given to us by God. And you groan at your final end, When your flesh and your body are consumed; Proverbs 5:11
Here we find our old friend, the word "acharith," used in connection with the latter stages of sexual sin - and the diseases that area associated with it. It is truly amazing that the Bible speaks of the latter end of sexual sin in these terms. Long before the medical community could even test for these things - and all knowing and loving God warned us against lifestyles that would consume our flesh and our body. What is truly sad is that men and women simply ignore such warnings generation after generation. The result is that sexually transmitted diseases continue to run rampant in society with the same disastrous consequences to men. We are warned that if we engage in sexual immorality we will 'growl' at our latter end. The word used here speaks of a deep gutteral groan -a despairing sound that comes because someone has discovered too late that their sexual choices have come to destroy them. This groaning happens also because their glesh and body are consumed. The world mocks the church and the Word of God when we walk about such things. I remember when a Christian teacher said that AIDS was a judgment of God upon homosexuality. He was torn to shreds by the media - and honestly - by too many Christians as well. In a way, I too, think he should not have said this. What he should have said was that AIDS, syphillis, gonnorhea, clamydia, and some 30+ other sexually transmitted diseases are the consequences of sexual immorality, whether heterosexual or homosexual. These are God's judgments on godless sexual choices. He promises them not just in Romans chapter 1, but also here in Proverbs 5 and elsewhere in Scripture. These consequences are inescapable if we choose to walk in rebellion to God in the area of our sexuality. I took some time before I wrote this post to go to various websites that gave information on the latter stages of STD's. This is what STD's will do to us over time - they destroy our bodies. Let me take a couple of moments to give you some examples of what happen when STD's reach their latter stages. AIDS does its damage by attacking our immune system - making us weak and unable to fight disease. It's final stages make us prone to having numerous different cancers, pneumonia, skin diseases, as well as other diseases that attack various organs in our body. Syphillis in its final stages causes paralysis, numbness in our bodies, blindness, as well as involuntary muscle movements that we cannot control. Worst of all is insanity which comes as our brains are systematically attacked by the disease. Just looking at these two consequential diseases that attend sexual immorality should help us to see that God was very serious when He warned that this type of rebellion will cost us our health. Oh that we would learn from these things, from these warnings concerning the medical consequences of walking contrary to God's ways when it comes to our sexuality. "For my husband is not at home, He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him, At the full moon he will come home." Proverbs 7:19-20
Once the adulteress has caught the fool in the trap of his own ungodly sexual desires - she then informs him of his soon-to-be-committed adultery. At this point, the man is so entrapped, that he is no longer considering sin - but the ability to not get caught. She says to him that her husband is not at home - but is gone on a long journey. Evidently her marriage means nothing to her. Long gone are the words of her covenant to God - or any real love for her husband. Instead she is interested in her next sexual escapade or conquest. Her words betray her husband - and also betray that she cares nothing for her own spiritual condition, or that of her sexual prey. Her focus is on neither of them getting caught - in this world. In verse 19 she even knows the approximate time he is coming home. Therefore she can sin unfettered until that time. She even uses her treachery to lure the fool in closer. She is utterly blind to the fact that God sees all this - and they are caught - NOW! Think for a moment of David. He thought no one saw him lusting for Bathsheba on his rooftop. He thought that only a few knew of her coming to his chambers - and none of them actually knew if they committed adultery. Then, when she became pregnant, he thought that no one knew of his treachery of bringing Uriah from the midst of a battle to cover his tracks. When that did not work, he thought only a few knew of his plan to kill Uriah - and try to legitimize his adultery by marrying his widow after murdering him with an enemy army. But the fact was David was caught the moment he sinned in his heart. It was along the way that more people knew - and if you understand the nature of gossip - far more knew than he thought. Covering our sin does not work. David said after his sin that he who covers his sins will not prosper. He spoke of how he suffered when he hid his sin - how the work of the Holy Spirit convicting him and sapping his very strength as he tried to keep things hidden was strong. Sin will try to deceive us of its very existance in our lives. It will tell us that we have NOT sinned. It will tell us that we are FINE. But all along the way are lies. The wise man is the one who knows that trying to hide sin is the most foolish act in which a person can engage. God is omniscient and sovereign - that is absolute fact. This means that there is nothing we can hide from Him - even for a second. It also means that all our attempts to maintain our sin are superceded by His sovereignty. Man may plan his steps - but God ordains his way. While that does not mean that God makes us sin - it does mean that His discipline WILL prevail when we do - no matter what we think we are doing to stop it. "Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses. Proverbs 7:18
As we continue our look at overcoming sexual temptation, we come to the direct statement of the harlot. We need to look at this statement to see the deception and the encouragement of sin in it. She makes the fool an offer of sex - but the way she states it is having his fill of love until the morning. The word she uses for love here is the one that is usually used in the Hebrew for "lover." But what she offers is not love in the truest sense. She offers a fullness of love - at least until the morning. She offers fullness of love - at least until her husband gets home - or she finds someone else to be her sexual dupe. But all the fool hears is that he has a lover for the evening. That is the problem with sexual temptation - it offers an immediate pleasure - but says nothing of the long-term cost. Sexual tempation (and actually any temptation for that matter) always focuses on immediate gratification. Our flesh wants immediate gratification - and calls out for it every day we live. But immediate gratification may leave a wake of incredible destruction. Therefore, the more we allow oursevles to be deceived into thinking there are no consequences for our actions - the more likely we are going to fall for the lies being fed to us. The adulteress says that a night of wonderful love-making awaits us. But let's be perfectly honest about this. That promise is for about 10 to 15 minutes. Drinking our fill of love until morning is a euphamism for little more than 30 minutes of our time. The destruction had in that brief period of time - lasts far longer - and I would submit the pain involved is far worse than the intensity of the pleasure promised. I've walked with people through divorce proceedings that last months. I've walked with men who made this fatal mistake - and even years later they were still paying a price when their wives struggled with trusting them when they were late from work. But sin never talks to us in these terms - sin only speaks of the "now" moment of pleasure. Wisdom considers the moments after - the days after - the months and years after. Delighting oursevles with caresses is another call to live for our flesh, and the adulteress uses it craftily. The word "delight" here is interesting. It means to rejoice in something - finding pleasure in it - and delighting in pleasure by expressing that pleasure above all other things. What is interesting about this word is that the Bible uses it of the pleasure that is found in the sexual relationship in marriage. God actually blesses this delight in pleasure - but He does so with the boundaries of marriage fully in place. We read in multiple places in the Bible that God fully desires for us to experience the joy of married sexual love. God did not give us sexual organs, desires, and the ability to feel pleasure only to forbid it. But He knows that when we do so outside the bounds of a committed marriage relationship, it will turn destructive. Just delighting ourselves with caresses can lead to the idea of multiple sexual partners - which we know leads to sexually transmitted diseases. It leads to a shallow love based on physical attraction and physical pleasure alone. In its more perverted forms - this leads to homosexualtiy - and in its worst forms to things like incest and rape. Living for the physical pleasure of anything alone will lead to a complete abandonment of wisdom. Sins like gluttony, drunkenness, and drug abuse are all ways that we start with a desire for the physical pleasure of something alone. They all end in a bondage to sin that is very difficult to break. The call to sexual temptation is a call to live for our flesh - and for a rejoicing in pleasure alone. It does not think at all beyond the moment - and misses altogether the bondage that awaits in the future. The fool does not think ahead - he only thinks of now. He wants his pleasure now and is deaf to any consequences that await him. The way to defeat sexual temptation is to use something other than your physical organs to make your decisions. It is to use God's Word as wisdom guiding your mind as you encounter various things - various people in life. That way you do not wind up a slave to your senses. Biblically Romans 6 reminds us that in life we are going to be either a slave to sin or a slave to righteousness. Sin will destroy us. The wise man submits himself to God - to His Word - and to a life that promises pleasure and blessing beyond the next 30 minutes. "I have spread my couch with coverings, With colored linens of Egypt. I have sprinkled my bed With myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses. Proverbs 7:16-18
Yesterday we took a first look at overcoming sexual immorality by understanding the way that the enemy will attack us in this area. We saw that selfishness and ego are two weak points where we can be attacked effectively if we are not careful. Today, we will continue to look at overcoming sexual immorality in our lives. The adulterous woman continues speaking to the fool whom she is enticing with promises of a night he will never forget. Having found "HIM" she then continues to entice him with what she has prepared for their night of passion. Brothers, we need to know that the longer we allow this woman to talk to us - the more likely we are to be caught in her web. This is something that seems strange to those who are looking from the outside in on this temptation. We might find ourselves wanting to scream and yell at this man - warning him of what is about to happen. The problem is that he is all but deaf to those warnings. Having ignored the warnings of the Holy Spirit earlier - he is a sitting duck for this kind of stuff. She speaks of how she has covered her couch with special linens - then speaks of how she has also sprinkled her bed with fragrant enticing smells and things that will heighten their sexual pleasure. Let me say men, that if we have not turned and run by this point - we are most likely caught. This man is listening with his sex drive by now - and when he has come to that point - he is deaf to anything else. The enticements are too much for him. He will most likely follow at this point. She is making here case first appealing to his ego - and now to his senses of sight and smell. Note though that at no time is his spirit being addressed. This is enticement that is apart from the working of the Holy Spirit. It is based solely in his flesh and his earthly appetites. That is why he needs to be so careful NOT to let things get to this point. What could this man have done to avoid this scenario - to not have gotten down the road this far? First, we need to cultivate a good relationship with our wives. Men, if you are not talking with your wife - you are making yourself vulnerable. If you see that you are NOT talking to her - or the conversation has dulled or gone silent - take great alarm over it! Your ability to talk to your wife about anything and everything is a safeguard to you! It will prevent you from falling into the second trap - talking too much with another woman. Second, you do NOT need to cultivate a relationship with other women. If you have an encounter conversationally with another woman that you would even hesitate to share with your wife, you should be warned - you are headed for dangerous territory. Too many men put themselves in vulnerable positions with another woman because they talk with them - and don't share that conversation with their wives. And - if the talk ever takes an uncomfortable turn - one that is too intimate - RUN! You should run to your wife and reveal that immediately - and ask her advice on what to do. Then you should follow it. Many adulterous affairs would have been nipped in the bud if the husband had only avoided any kind of talk that even remotely made him uncomfortable with another woman. The third thing relates to the second very closely. In the office and at work - keep your relationships and conversations with women on a professional level only. Do NOT go outside these boundaries. It may be uncomfortable to say it - but say it anyway. Your relationship with this woman at work needs to remain professional. Refer her to someone else than you for such conversations and such advice. Opening up such areas can only lead to problems and conflict. She works for you - or you for her - and this does not include a shoulder to cry on when her relationships are having problems. Do not be rude - but make it clear that you are uncomfortable talking about such things. You can even refer her to your wife if she is comfortable with that role - but YOU do not need to go there. The only way to avoid having another woman talk to you this way (sexually)is to make sure that the only woman who feels comfortable doing so is your wife. This man would have been wise to do these things - but since he did not - he is in the lair of the wicked one - and about to be caught in a horrible trap. The time to know of such traps is long before you step into them. Now, let me address one last trap we tend to step into too often. It is the trap of having these things done via the media. What I refer to is movies and television. Most of us would never think of looking into another person's bedroom - and their sex life. That would involve being a peeping-tom. But the fact is that we are ushered into the bedrooms of dozens of couples on a regular basis through film and television. Voyeurism takes place via these mediums every day. We watch a television program or see a movie where these kind of things are played out right before our eyes. We see that sexy woman or hunky guy say all the perfect things - do all the perfect things - and enter into a night of ecstasy (or at least implied ecstasy). We watch romantic movies where the actors are coached into saying the perfect thing in the perfect situation. Then we slouch into our couches wondering why the spark is gone in our own relationship. We are being coached as well by the wicked one. Coached into thinking that our wife or husband is not enough. They don't talk to me or treat me like that. They don't look like that. They don't work out the perfect scenario like that. And before we know it we've allowed our audio-visual voyeurism to make us discontent with our spouse. Then we spend our thoughts dreaming of that perfect situation - and of course - it involves someone who kind-of looks like that person we saw on TV or in the movie. Maybe it is that person with whom we are fantasizing having a romantic episode. Whatever the situation, we're caught - the trap has sprung - and we are much more susceptible now. Careful saints - the temptations and the wiles of the evil one are very subtle. He attacks in a myriad of ways - and his goal is to get to our minds and hearts. There he can plant an idea - a concept - a way of thinking that is opposed to the Scriptures. When he has done that - he has set up a beachhead from which to attack further into our lives. That is why we need to remember what the Scriptures teach concerning our marriages - concerning our wives - and concerning our sexuality. These are matters where to give an inch may mean later finding that the enemy has moved inward into our thinking and reasoning a mile. Reserve ALL such talk and thinking for your wife and your wife alone. That is wisdom. "Therefore I have come out to meet you, To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you." Proverbs 7:15
Here are the enticements of the adulterous woman. These are the words that she uses to bring a man into her trap - which is her bedroom. Most men do not view a bedroom as a trap. Unfortunately, men tend to view the bedroom as a place of pleasure - and do not see that the difference between pleasure and pain - between a paradise and a pathway to hell is the status of the woman with whom they are having their pleasure at the moment. Guys, I want to be brutally honest with you for the next couple of days. We are going to follow this text for that length of time. This is an area where we are being decimated in the church today. We must open our eyes and begin to discern between the bedroom as a trap and as a treasure. The difference is in one term alone. Are we there with our wives as a holy place - where the Scriptures describe it as the "marriage bed" which it goes on to say is holy - or - are we being duped into thinking that God will in any way bless the bedroom beyond the relationship of marriage. Too often we are the dupes rather than the discerning. We listen to the siren song of the adulteress and do not heed the warning siren of the Holy Spirit to which we are deaf when we succumb to lust - or worse - encourage it in our lives. Please read today's passage and commentary with great discernment - because we, as a gender, must begin to walk in discernment as we walk through this world. Verse 15 reveals to us the secret weapon of the adulteress. It is the ego of a man - and how easily it can be manipulated. Look at what the adulteress says to this foolish man. After making him think that she is right with God (see Prov 7:14 for her religious comments) - she then aims straight for his ego. "Therefore I have come out to meet YOU. To seek YOUR presence earnestly, and I have found YOU." (emphasis mine) Oh, how foolish men love to be made much of by others - especially by a beautiful woman. This reveals to us a secret sin in this man's heart - that of being thought of romantically or sexually by a woman (even if it is a woman other than his wife). And at this point she has set her talons into his flesh. She has begun to hook him with this talk that strokes his deceived ego. Guys this is where we need to be brutally honest with one another. Biblically, God tells us that our desire is to be for our wives. Proverbs 5:17 says that we should be exhilarated with her love - focusing on her sexually. If we are not careful this present world and its sexual insanity will infect us. It is all around us each and every day. The world system is crazed with talk and with innuendo about sex. That is why we need to be so careful what enters our eyes and what enters our minds. Please don't mistake my passion here for either the thought that this is easy - or the idea that I've completely mastered this battle. Unfortunately due to choices I've made in my past, this is a battle that I fight daily. But men, it is worth fighting. Our only other choice is to make ourselves a much easier target for the world - either in physical adultery - or in the mental version of the same sin. This adulteress/prostitute comes to us telling us that it is all about us. I wanted you - I sought you - I've found you. Anything that ministers to the selfish, self-centered part of us is something we should run from in life. That is especially the case when it comes to our sexuality. There is only one relationship God will bless in this way - and that is the one that we have with our wives. Remember, men, this lie is only for a moment - because, as we will learn later in this chapter of Proverbs, there is a devastating payment that will come when the sexual encounter is over. Men . . . don't buy the lie that the wicked one puts before you through the lips of the adulteress. It is just that - a lie. She will say that it is all about you - but the truth is it is only about setting the trap. Behind all this lies the wicked one, who is longing to see you, your marriage, your family, your testimony, and your relationship with God destroyed. If you cannot remember anything else - remember the cost to David for his adultery with Bathsheba. It was a one night tryst - but the cost kept being paid for the rest of his life - and on through his family for generations to come. No matter what a woman says to you in this matter, do not believe her. Hold fast to the Word of God. Run! Flee youthful lusts, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. That is the biblical counsel that Paul gave to young Timothy. It should be the counsel we follow when a strange woman comes and tries to gain entrance to our lives through flattery and an appeal to our selfishness. |
 Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. 
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