Yesterday we took a first look at overcoming sexual immorality by understanding the way that the enemy will attack us in this area. We saw that selfishness and ego are two weak points where we can be attacked effectively if we are not careful. Today, we will continue to look at overcoming sexual immorality in our lives.
The adulterous woman continues speaking to the fool whom she is enticing with promises of a night he will never forget. Having found "HIM" she then continues to entice him with what she has prepared for their night of passion. Brothers, we need to know that the longer we allow this woman to talk to us - the more likely we are to be caught in her web. This is something that seems strange to those who are looking from the outside in on this temptation. We might find ourselves wanting to scream and yell at this man - warning him of what is about to happen. The problem is that he is all but deaf to those warnings. Having ignored the warnings of the Holy Spirit earlier - he is a sitting duck for this kind of stuff.
She speaks of how she has covered her couch with special linens - then speaks of how she has also sprinkled her bed with fragrant enticing smells and things that will heighten their sexual pleasure. Let me say men, that if we have not turned and run by this point - we are most likely caught. This man is listening with his sex drive by now - and when he has come to that point - he is deaf to anything else. The enticements are too much for him. He will most likely follow at this point. She is making here case first appealing to his ego - and now to his senses of sight and smell. Note though that at no time is his spirit being addressed. This is enticement that is apart from the working of the Holy Spirit. It is based solely in his flesh and his earthly appetites. That is why he needs to be so careful NOT to let things get to this point. What could this man have done to avoid this scenario - to not have gotten down the road this far?
First, we need to cultivate a good relationship with our wives. Men, if you are not talking with your wife - you are making yourself vulnerable. If you see that you are NOT talking to her - or the conversation has dulled or gone silent - take great alarm over it! Your ability to talk to your wife about anything and everything is a safeguard to you! It will prevent you from falling into the second trap - talking too much with another woman.
Second, you do NOT need to cultivate a relationship with other women. If you have an encounter conversationally with another woman that you would even hesitate to share with your wife, you should be warned - you are headed for dangerous territory. Too many men put themselves in vulnerable positions with another woman because they talk with them - and don't share that conversation with their wives. And - if the talk ever takes an uncomfortable turn - one that is too intimate - RUN! You should run to your wife and reveal that immediately - and ask her advice on what to do. Then you should follow it. Many adulterous affairs would have been nipped in the bud if the husband had only avoided any kind of talk that even remotely made him uncomfortable with another woman.
The third thing relates to the second very closely. In the office and at work - keep your relationships and conversations with women on a professional level only. Do NOT go outside these boundaries. It may be uncomfortable to say it - but say it anyway. Your relationship with this woman at work needs to remain professional. Refer her to someone else than you for such conversations and such advice. Opening up such areas can only lead to problems and conflict. She works for you - or you for her - and this does not include a shoulder to cry on when her relationships are having problems. Do not be rude - but make it clear that you are uncomfortable talking about such things. You can even refer her to your wife if she is comfortable with that role - but YOU do not need to go there.
The only way to avoid having another woman talk to you this way (sexually)is to make sure that the only woman who feels comfortable doing so is your wife. This man would have been wise to do these things - but since he did not - he is in the lair of the wicked one - and about to be caught in a horrible trap. The time to know of such traps is long before you step into them.
Now, let me address one last trap we tend to step into too often. It is the trap of having these things done via the media. What I refer to is movies and television. Most of us would never think of looking into another person's bedroom - and their sex life. That would involve being a peeping-tom. But the fact is that we are ushered into the bedrooms of dozens of couples on a regular basis through film and television. Voyeurism takes place via these mediums every day. We watch a television program or see a movie where these kind of things are played out right before our eyes. We see that sexy woman or hunky guy say all the perfect things - do all the perfect things - and enter into a night of ecstasy (or at least implied ecstasy). We watch romantic movies where the actors are coached into saying the perfect thing in the perfect situation. Then we slouch into our couches wondering why the spark is gone in our own relationship. We are being coached as well by the wicked one. Coached into thinking that our wife or husband is not enough. They don't talk to me or treat me like that. They don't look like that. They don't work out the perfect scenario like that. And before we know it we've allowed our audio-visual voyeurism to make us discontent with our spouse. Then we spend our thoughts dreaming of that perfect situation - and of course - it involves someone who kind-of looks like that person we saw on TV or in the movie. Maybe it is that person with whom we are fantasizing having a romantic episode. Whatever the situation, we're caught - the trap has sprung - and we are much more susceptible now.
Careful saints - the temptations and the wiles of the evil one are very subtle. He attacks in a myriad of ways - and his goal is to get to our minds and hearts. There he can plant an idea - a concept - a way of thinking that is opposed to the Scriptures. When he has done that - he has set up a beachhead from which to attack further into our lives. That is why we need to remember what the Scriptures teach concerning our marriages - concerning our wives - and concerning our sexuality. These are matters where to give an inch may mean later finding that the enemy has moved inward into our thinking and reasoning a mile. Reserve ALL such talk and thinking for your wife and your wife alone. That is wisdom.