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The eye that mocks a father And scorns a mother, The ravens of the valley will pick it out, And the young eagles will eat it. Proverbs 30:17
This proverb is one of those that seems a little harsh when you first read it - especially if you've ever been disrespectful to your parents. Your average kid might say, "You mean to say that if I scorn my parents, I'm doomed to have scavenger birds peck my eye out and eat it?" Since we know that not every rebellious child and teenager has had his eyes destroyed by a flock of ravens and eagles - we know that this passage has more to teach us than just a scary warning that probably would not work on kids anyway. But just what is this proverb trying to show us? The key comes in understanding why a bird - especially a scavenger would have any interest in an animal's eyes. You see both of the birds mentioned in this passage are scavengers. That means that they both eat dead things. But one practice that ravens have as they approach carrion is that they need to be sure it is dead. That can mean the difference in having a meal and being one to the raven. Therefore when a raven suspects an animal to be dead - he goes straight for the eye. The raven lands near the animal and sees if the animal makes any movements. Then when the raven detects that things are clear for the most part - he subjects the animal to the ultimate test as to whether it is alive or dead. He pecks at the animal's eye. If an animal does not move to protect the eye, it is dead. As the raven picks out the eye of the animal - it assures him that the animal is dead. Often early in the meal that follows, a larger predator - which is where the young eagle comes in - will arrive and take over the meal from the raven, who wisely knows when he is outmatched. Now, let's take what we've learned from nature - and apply it to what is said in this passage. When a young person feels his oats enough to begin mocking his own father and mother it is a very dangerous sign. The reference to the raven and the young eagle is not a direct threat - but rather a reminder. He is spiritually dead. This is not so much a threat of future aviary retribution - but of the spiritual reality of where this young man or woman is. God promises us that the one who honors his mother and father will live long on the earth. Great blessing is in store for the child who learns about respect, honor, and submission in subjection to his parents. These are vital lessons to learn if he or she is going to be successful in life - and after life is over. These come through properly relating to one's parents. If we don't learn them in the home - we will face learning them out in the world where the cost to learn them is far higher than it is with mom and dad. One last thing that we need to note here is that we are not talking about open rebellion here - but the "eye" that mocks father and mother. This is as much a look as it is an action. I remember my mother telling me not to look at her in that tone of voice. It was a little bit of a joke - but not really. She knew, and so did my father, when my eyes were revealing what was really going on in my heart. The eyes are the window to the soul - and reveal much of what is truly going on in our hearts. Thus we need to be careful to not only watch our words concerning our parents, but also the way our eyes function as well. Quite often we might be obeying in our outward members - but our eyes reveal another story altogether. Remember then, that when the scavengers come looking for the dead - they come looking for those who are dead in their eyes. When a wise man seeks to determine whether someone is spiritually alive or dead - he can learn much in how a person treats their parents.
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When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest. Proverbs 29:9
This proverb I've affectionately named the "Bill Maher proverb." That is because he, along with many other social liberals invite one Christian to sit on a panel with him and 2-3 other liberals. As the program unfolds, this proverb is lived out over and over again. If the Christian is wise at all, he will begin to present biblical truth, and at that point the controversy, the rage, and the mockery begin. The poor Christian is usually shouted down in the midst of making any points - and the end of the matter is that he or she looks like the fool - which was the purpose of the whole exercise anyway. After watching this three or four different times, I came to the conclusion that any Bible-believing Christian who went on this, or other programs like it, was as much of a fool as the other fools sitting on the panel. The nature of a foolish man is to mock the things of God. Therefore when a wise man begins to have a controversy or argument with a foolish man - he needs to know that reason or fair-minded debate will most likely not be involved in what is about to take place. This passage tells us that what will happen is that the foolish man will "rage" against the wise man. The word used for rage here is "ragaz" and it means to shake, tremble, be agitated, be disturbed, or be provoked. As soon as a fool hears the Word of God, he will come to the place where he will blow like a stick of dynamite. The fool recognizes no authority but his own. We read elsewhere in Proverbs that the fool only delights in airing his own opinions - and only respects his own thoughts. The idea of a God Who reveals to us absolute truth is an utter outrage to the fool. He is enraged at the thought of anyone claiming to have a truth that can stand in judgment over his ideas - as accurate and marvelous as they are. So when he hears a wise man (who is wise because he has learned to submit himself to what is revealed in Scripture) start to quote the Bible as an authority - BOOM! - he explodes in a rage against the wise man (yet actually he is enraged at God more than anyone else). The other response from the fool is to laugh at God's principles and God's Word. This is basically done by mocking God. Bill Maher did it by doing the movie, "Religuous." Others have done it a myriad of different ways over the years. Interestingly enough, most of them are dead and have the horrendous problem of explaining to God why they felt such liberty to mock Him and His Word - which is what Mr. Maher will face also if he does not come to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Regardless of how they go about mocking God, they do, and in the end there is no peace. There isn't any because the fool is not about to have the wise man come away from the encounter or controversy looking good at all. A wise man recognizes when he is in a controversy with a fool. He recognizes it usually because the fool will not argue reasonably, but will quickly resort to mocking, name calling, and specious arguments. At that point the best thing a wise man can do is step away from the situation as quickly and as gracefully as he can. The encounter will not result in a peaceful resolution. Rage and mocking laughter will happen - but not peace. The best thing you can do for the foolish man is pray for him, love him, and not offer him the public platform to mock God. That is why the wise man will turn down the offer to appear on such programs - saving himself the breath, the time, and the humiliation that will come if he chooses unwisely to attend. He who leads the upright astray in an evil way Will himself fall into his own pit, But the blameless will inherit good. Proverbs 28:10
It is one thing when the wicked are evil in their own ways and in their own thoughts, but that is not the case with some. They are not content unless they lead others astray into a similar lifestyle. This trait is at its worst when the one who has an ungodly lifestyle desires to lead the upright into that same wicked lifestyle. Yet God makes it plain that such choices - such attitudes will have to pay in the end. The upright are thsoe who are desiring to walk straight - and this refers to someone who desires to do what is morally pure and right. Of course, since this is a biblical reference, we can assume that the moral course that is sought is that of the Scriptures. The wicked man spoken of here wants to lead this morally upstanding person astray. The word used here implies that someone has been deceived into their error. Thus they are now wandering and straying like lost sheep. They used to know the way of the Lord, but now they are straying like lost sheep having somehow been deceived to where they no longer look to the Scriptures for their moral rudder in life. The path they are trying to lead them in is the "evil way." Evil here is "ra" which is the term used for active evil - and it carries with it the idea of distress, misery, injury, and calamity. I find it fascinating, living in a city with a major university, how often godly students are turned by professors who hate Christianity. What I find amazing is that the attacks that are made are almost always made at their trust and belief in God's Word. I think of the passage in Hosea that warns that if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? A very good question this is for us today. This is the reason why I take the time to teach high school and junior high students classes on worldviews and philosophy. During those classes I play devil's advocate and let them see what they will face in college. I challenge their statements as one of the professors at the university would - and do so mercilessly for 5 or 10 minutes. Then I back up and help them grasp what the philosophical backdrop was to that attack. We work on understanding the false reasoning that was in the attack and also how to raise up the shield of faith by holding fast to a biblical worldview. It is not easy for these students, because the barrage of questions, as well as the ignorance of other students is hard to stand in the midst of in class. Too often they are ganged up on in the midst of the discussion - and the teachers will use their authority to make the students stop talking before they can make their point. That is why we cover these things as well in class. They need to know that Christianity is credible as a worldview - but also that Paul said that the cross was as stumbling block to Jews - and considered foolishness by the Greeks (the philosophical eggheads of that age). Our passage, though, has a warning to the wicked ones who try to lead the upright astray. They will fall into the pit that they are trying to dig for the upright. They think they will make the upright fall into a pit - that they will destroy their faith - but the one who will ultimately fall into the pit is the ungodly person who is trying to deceive. He thinks that the believer is deceived - but he is the one who is deceived. In the end, the very foolishness and philosophical ignorance of this man will damn him to the ultimate pit. I know that this sounds pretty harsh - but it is what the Scriptures say is the end of those who mock the things of God - who oppose God and His Word. Just a note at the end for our instruction is given. The blameless will inherit good. Blameless here is the Hebrew word "tamim" and it means something or someone who is complete and tested. The word was used of the sacrificial animals that had been examined and found to be without flaw. What a marvelous word this is for this context. Here is the truth we need to see here. The wicked will seek to lead the upright astray into an immoral path - but we need to hold fast to the truth - to the Word of God. We need to stand through every trial - and oppose every falsehood that we face. Every time they try to deceive and undermine the foundation of our faith - we need to lift high the banner of Christ - hold fast to the Word of our God - and watch every argument fall infinitely short of the truth upon which we stand. When we do this we will be the blameless, tested, tried one who will inherit good. Be ready, precious saints, for what you will face in the world. Christianity is not just a religious practice - something we can tack on to our lives like we would put up a poster in our rooms. It is a way of life - a philosophy - a worldview that is superior to all other worldviews. It is a relationship with the living God that we are granted through Jesus Christ. We need to view it as that - a life-changing way of viewing the world. We need to therefore make understanding and knowing God our first and most important priority. The reason so many supposedly lose their faith in college is because they never had one. They had their religion - they had their denominational status - they had their childhood habit of going to church with mommy and daddy. But . . . they never took Christ to themselves, repented of their sin - and entered into a life-altering relationship with God. They never received a love of the truth so as to be saved. As a result all they had was the trappings of Christianity - without a mind honed by the Word. Therefore when tried and tested - when faced with someone who forced them to defend their faith with truth - they had nothing with which to fight back. Assuming that Christianity had failed them - when all that had failed them was their false faith - they turned and fell into the pit of the wicked. Oh saints, know your God! Know your Bible! Know that the faith once and for all handed to the saints in the Scriptures has withstood every attack of man for some 2000 years. Stand fast upon it - and stand strong with Him. When you do you will be tested, tried, and approved - and according to this passage - due to inherit good. A prudent man sees evil and hides himself, The naive proceed and pay the penalty. Proverbs 27:12
What do you do when you see evil or sin coming toward you? Your answer might be that you don't often have evil coming in your direction. But the fact is that temptations come in two basic types. There are temptations that we will most likely not be able to avoid in life. They are going to happen so quickly that we do not have time to flee from them in advance. But there is a second type of temptation that is mentioned in this proverb. It is the temptation that we see coming - or the one that we just do not avoid or hide from in life. We just walk right into it. Those kind of temptations are the ones that we will most likely fall into - and pay the penalty in the process. The prudent men sees evil - and hides himself from it. He sees that there is a situation where temptation and testing is coming - and he makes choices to avoid it altogether. The alcoholic knows when he is being invited to a party or to a restaurant where liquor is being offered to him. He knows this and avoids the situation. The man struggling with sexual temptation is smart enough to hide himself from the R or PG13 rated movies - and avoids situations when he will be exposed to sights that will only cause him greater temptation. There are numerous temptations that we can avoid by simply being wise enough to hide from them. Rather than proceed into situations that pose us with choices that we would rather not make, we stay away from them. The proverb warns us what will happen when we do not make these kind of "choices-in-advance-for-righteousness." We read that the naive proceed and pay the penalty. I love the word for naive here. It is the Hebrew word "pethi" and it means to be simple or open-minded. The idea here is one who is so open-minded that they are naive about the evil that is in the world around them. They are simple in that they do not see the consequences of actions they are about to take. Contrary to this is the one who is spiritually mature. Hebrews 5;14 tells us about this person when it says, "But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil." Here is the wise man. His senses are trained due to exposure to the Word of God. The passage tells us that this man is feeding on the meat of God's Word, not just the milk. As a result, he has his senses trained from reading the "word of righteousness." Thus he knows what is right and wrong. That is why he can discern good and evil. He does so through God's Word, the Bible. And as he does - he makes sure that he avoids situations where evil is present. Jesus taught us to pray, "Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil." That phrase has within it this same passage. There are times when we will have to face evil - when we will have to face temptation. But our heart is not to be led into it. When we have to face temptation we long for God to deliver us from evil. But in some cases, God desires for us to learn enough wisdom to avoid tempting situations altogether. That is where we learn to see the evil and hide ourselves - rather the walk into it thinking we can handle it - and find out we cannnot. Like an archer who wounds everyone, So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by. Proverbs 26:10
Proverbs chapter 26 is primarily about the fool. Of the chapters in Proverbs, this one has more about the fool than any other chapter. Here we have what happens when someone in business makes the mistake of hiring a fool or who does not take the proper time to vet those whom he hires. This particular verse in Proverbs has very interesting translations. If you've read the King James translation of this passage, it is quite different than what we have here, but the Hebrew is based out of a slight difference between two words that are close in their pronunciation. The idea here is to compare the damage wrought by a crazy archer who is wounding those who pass by - and the man who hires people indiscriminately for his business. Several years ago there was a sniper who terrorized the Washington D.C. area by randomly shooting people. This caused fear all over the area. Can you imagine an archer who decided to wound everyone who passed by him? The horror and the terror would be unbelievable. There would be problems as anyone who walked by would be shot for no reason at all. There would be fear for everyone because of the crazy man who was injuring people all over the place. This is compared to a businessman who hires a fool. The statement here is telling for those who are in the business world. The man who hires a fool is preparing everyone who works for him - as well as everyone who partakes of his buisness for trouble. The fool is arrogant, he is selfish and self-centered. He thinks he is wiser than seven men who all are able to answer questions wisely. He repeats his stupidity again and again and does not learn from the troublesome things his actions cause. He is lazy and undisciplined - is constantly late because he loves his sleep more than hard work - is a glutton - and is unable to process any kind of advice or help offered to him. You are looking at a hiring disaster here. This would be a worker who would bring dishonor to his employer - and - who would eventually bring great harm to the business itself. The worst part of all this is that everyone who comes into contact with the fool that he has hired - will be injured as a result. Kinda like a crazy archer who shoots everyone who passes by him. There is another warning given here to employers. All these things are also equated to the businessman who simply hires those who pass by. The idea here is that the employees are not interviewed or properly vetted. The businessman just hired anyone who passes by him. When this is done - disaster is eminent. Businesses need to check out who they hire. Wisdom and great care need to be taken in whom you hire to work for you. I remember while in seminary talking with my boss at UPS. I worked there loading trucks to make a living for my family while in school. They wanted to hire additional students from my school, but asked me to be wise when I told people about the position. They wanted men and women who were willing to work hard - because it cost them a great deal to train someone. My boss told me it took almost 3 months for a new hire to actually begin making the company money. Therefore to just "hire those who pass by" was the worst kind of foolishness. If the worker did not work out, they not only lost the profitability of three months - but actually lost more. They would have to start all over again trying to train the next person. Therefore he made it clear to me that just hiring "anyone who passes by" was very detrimental to the health and success of the business. The average business owner knows this and does interviews in order to find the most qualified candidates. But the one who does not - is taking the chance that he might have hired a fool. That man is taking very serious risks with his business. Nice to know that the wisdom of God has our backs on business issues like this . . . if we'll listen. Argue your case with your neighbor, And do not reveal the secret of another, Or he who hears it will reproach you, And the evil report about you will not pass away. Proverbs 25:9-10
Here is another of those Proverbs that seems to directly contradict what has been said in the previous verse. Here it has to do with arguing your case with your neighbor. But the thing that truly helps us to understand this proverb is that it deals with arguing your case with your neighbor "alone." The ESV and the KJV bring this out. When a person has a conflict with another person, the best way for it to be resolved is for the two of them to get together and to work it out between them. This is what the writer of Proverbs is saying here. This proverb has to do with gossip more than anything else. When there is a conflict, take the conflict to the person with whom you have the conflict - and no one else. That is what the writer is saying when he says not to reveal the secret of another. When there is a conflict, we don't need to reveal that we have had one with everyone else. That is usually what happens when there is a fight. We decide to talk with everyone else - telling them about everything that has happened and every way that this other person has hurt us - or has wronged us. That is revealing the secret of another. Here is a concept that I know is foreign to the church today. When we have a fight or disagreement with someone - that situation is to be treated as if it is a secret between us and the person with whom we've had the disagreement. It is to remain that way - until we've worked it out with that person. The reason we should do this is because God will give us grace - and give the person with whom we have the disagreement grace. But anyone we bring into the situation - will not have grace to deal with it. They will tend to take one side or the other - and soon factions will begin to develop. When the person with whom we have the disagreement begins to hear that we've told others - new problems will develop. The passage here says that when the person with whom we've had the argument hears that we're talking to others about it - they will reproach us for doing it. There is an additional offense when this happens. There are already problems with this person - but now they feel that they are being slandered with gossip. Now the next step in all this is that the argument begins to develop into a full-sized war. They begin to send out an evil report about you. They are so offended that you've begun to gossip, that they begin to gossip as well. Just as you decided to share the worst of your disagreement with others - they do the same. You feel greater offense but what they are doing is only what you've already done to them. The sad reality with this entire situation is that it will continue toward greater and greater bitterness until one or the other involved with be Christlike enough to humble themselves and begin working toward true healing. This involves actually talking about the problem to the person with whom you have the problem. What is so sad is that the vast majority of the time all that happens is that the two people eventually move to an uncomfortable silence between them. Their relationship becomes superficial - awaiting the next blow up that will come in the future. Argue your case with your neighbor alone. That is wisdom. It will bless you - and honestly - it will bless your church as well. This would be such a cause for maturity in the church. We would have to confront lovingly when we have a problem with a brother - but from what I've experienced - we would also have stronger relationships in the church or wherever we are having problems. May God bless us so that we begin to take this very wise advice and have stronger relationships in every aspect of life. Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles; Or the LORD will see it and be displeased, And turn His anger away from him. Proverbs 24:17-18
Here is a reminder to be gracious and merciful to our enemies. We should have mercy on our enemies - even when God is the One who is bringing the judgment upon them. That may seem a little strange to us at first, but if you will give me just a few moments, you will soon see why this is wise for us. When we are walking with God, we will have enemies. That is a given in our fallen world. But when God displays His anger toward someone - we should not be on the sidelines cheering for their judgment. We can cheer God's justice - but we should do so with a measure of fear and trembling. The reason for this is because we need to remember who WE are. We are beneficiaries of God's mercy - not His judgment. If God were to judge us for our actions - we would quickly learn that we too, apart from His grace, are His enemies. There is something to grasp - and it is important that we keep it fresh in our minds. Were it not for what God did in Jesus Christ, we would be under His wrath and anger as well. It is only because of Jesus Christ and His death on the cross that we are not currently under God's anger. Therefore, we do not need to rejoice when our enemy stumbles and falls. We need to remember that except for the grace of God, we would be enemies as well. To dance and sing over someone's destruction also is not what God desires from us. Paul was mercilessly persecuted by the Jews as he preached the gospel. He faced opposition in many cities - and in one he was dragged out and stoned. They sought to have him condemned in court once he was arrested by the soldiers of Rome - and that arrest was because of their wrongful accusation of him. Yet how did Paul respond to them? Did he desire their destruction? Did he cheer when they were judged and destroyed? Paul's response in Romans was that he wished himself accursed for their sakes - if only that would result in their salvation. That does not sound like someone who is rejoicing over the anger of God against his enemies. That sounds like someone who grasps that he is the chief of sinners. That sounds like a man who grasps that apart from grace he took would be accursed, damned if you will because of his sin. And it was this grasp of spiritual realities that led Paul to respond with mercy - not rejoicing over his enemies and their position before God. The Lord sees when men rejoice over the stumbling and falling of their enemy - and it displeases Him. He is judging with a righteous judgment - but we have no standing upon which to take joy in another's fall. We all would face the same fate as they, were it not for a merciful God. When God watches us rejoice over someone else's destruction - He is displeased. The Bible also tells us that He will turn away His anger from them. What is pretty frightening is that most likely His displeasure might be refocused - on us! When I consider this passage - I remember a historical event from 2 Kings chapter 6. Elisha was prophet at the time, and it enraged the king of Aram that Elisha knew his secret war counsels and would warn Israel where Aram was about to attack. The king of Aram sent his army to surround Elisha in order to capture or kill him. Elisha saw the armies of Aram surround his city and prayed that God would strike the entire army with blindness. God answered Elisha - and he told the blind army to follow him. He led the army into the center of Israel's territory where they were now surrounded by Israel, who readied themselves for the slaughter. But when Elisha prayed that their eyes would be opened - the king of Israel asked if he should kill Aram's armies? I love God's response in this matter. Elisha told the king of Israel not to kill them - but to make a feast for them - showing them the ultimate mercy. This ended their hostilities. What a great picture of God's ways. God is angry with us due to our sins - He is angry every day with the wicked. But . . . He does not bring judgment - but shows mercy. It is His mercy that leads us to repentance - and He desires for us to show the same mercy to our enemies that He shows to us. What a glorious picture of His grace this leaves us. Therefore we should not rejoice at the fall of our enemy. We should pour love on them in Jesus name, no matter what their response. This is wisdom. This is God's way. This is the power of God that brings men to salvation - and to a change in how He views them. What He desires is for us to rejoice in mercy - and tremble at the display of His anger. It is a solemn reminder of what could have been ours, if we had not been saved by His grace. Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. Proverbs 23:22
I have numerous times been asked the question of when a young person should stop obeying their parents. Many think that just because our laws state that a person is an adult when they are 18 that they have the luxury of no longer obeying their parents. I honestly see no such statement made by Scripture. I believe a child no longer needs to obey his parents when he or she is married. Once that has taken place the child no longer is beholden to do what his parents say. But, one wise thing a person should always do is to listen to their parents - even when they are old. That is because they are an excellent source of wisdom. Our society does not do much to honor the aged among us. Ours is a youth culture - and we value youth, beauty, and strength. Nowadays we see the older among us as people who tend to get in our way as they talk about the past - or they offer decidedly outdated advice from days gone by. Before I put that on anyone else - I will have to admit that I have been infected by those concepts over the years. I have noticed that much of the good advice that I was given by my parents - and by those much older than me would have blessed me and kept me from problems if I had listened and heeded it. Here we see Solomon telling his son to listen to his father. The natural flow of life should be for a father to offer godly advice to his son. This should be easy for the son to receive because of the committment that he has seen over the years from his father. The son knows that the father has nothing in mind except the very best for his son. Having seen this over the course of his lifetime, the son has no great difficulty listening and even following his father's advice. It is astounding how smart our parents get when we have children of our own and begin being responsible for the financial decisions and family decisions that map out for us our future. In those hours we realize that we would joyfully listen to advice and counsel given from our father and mother. The second thing Solomon says to his son is for him not to despise his mother when she is old. The word for despise here means to hold someone in contempt and scorn. The one who acts this way is disrespectful to his mother. I think the reason we are counselled that wisdom is NOT to scorn or hold you mother in contempt is because mothers will speak the truth to you. They will always have that mother's instinct to protect and care for their children. But as children get older, they can come to resent this in their mom. Yet the wise son would never disrespect or dishonor his mom. He would listen to her - even when she is mothering him a little. The wise son realizes that this woman has loved him his entire life - and wants only the very best for him. We may not have to obey our parents once we are married - but a wise man never stops listening to what they have to say. And if the parents are wise, they will choose their words and their disagreements wisely so that their children are able to hear all that they have to say. This is the way that the relationship between parent and adult child can flourish - to the blessing of both parties. He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend. Proverbs 22:11
What kind of person is the king's friend? That is in interesting question because those who have been in places of high authority know that it is often difficult to determine which ones are their friends - and which ones are befriending them for ulterior motives. When you look at the circle of those who surround the king or leader - among them you will always find the sycophants who are there to get what they can from the king. They offer their friendship . . . for a price. What the leader finds in the end is that this person was not really their friend. Unfortunately for the king, this is only learned when trouble comes - or when the king no longer can give the person what they want. So what kind of person is the king's friend? First we learn that he is a person who loves purity of heart. The term purity here was often used to describe the condition of being "clean" in Israel. This was a pretty strict definition - and thus it describes someone who is pure to a very high standard. When used of a person's heart, it referred to someone who was morally pure - as well as ethically pure. Since it refers to the condition of someone's heart - it speaks of someone who has wonderful morals, wonderful ethics, and whose thoughts and intents were as pure as the driven snow. The king gravitates to this kind of person because of that purity of heart. This is a person who would never be the king's friend for the ride. If he chose to befriend the king - it would be because he wanted to be the friend of the man - who just happened to be the king. That purity of heart would be such a comfort to someone who could give you so much. Most likely, this pure-hearted man would refuse the king's gifts and honors - choosing instead to simply be the king's friend - not the king's benefactor. It is interesting that among the many named as those who surrounded David, one man, Hushai the Archite, was simply known as the king's friend. He befriended David just because he wanted to be David's friend. Hushai the Archite was an interesting man. We only hear of him twice in Scripture. in 1 Chronicles he is simply referred to as the king's friend. The other place we learn of him is in 2 Samuel 15-17. We see him meeting David as David reaches the top of the Mount of Olives after David has had to leave the throne due to being deposed by his son, Absalom. He arrives with his coat torn and with dust on his head. Here was a friend who stuck with David in the very worst of times. Sometimes the king will only know his true friends when he is deposed. Hushai was one of those friends who did not care whether David was king or not - he was still his friend. But when David faced such horrific circumstances, Hushai was there grieving with him through it all. But Hushai's friendship went far deeper - and endured even more challenges. David asked him to return to the city and act as Absalom's servant - to thwart the counsel of Ahithophel. This was dangerous to say the least, because as soon as Absalom sees him - he notes that this was his father's friend. He even chides him for being a poor friend, turning on David in his hour of need. At that moment Absalom could have had Hushai killed or imprisoned. But Hushai went - and served David well. He did thwart the counsel of Ahithophel - and later alerted David to get over the Jordan for safety even if they possilby did follow Ahithophel's advice. Here was a true friend, willing to risk his life to protect his friend. The other factor in being the king's friend was that you needed to have speech that was gracious. There are times when I wish we would translate Hebraisms directly - because I think they paint a much more powerful picture for us. The Hebraism here literally says, "and who has grace on his lips." What a great picture this paints of how this man speaks. He speaks the truth - but does so with plenty of grace. That is the kind of friend the king needs. He needs someone who will tell him the truth - but will do so with much grace as he does so. Too many around the king simply tell him what he wants to hear. They become suck-ups who are too busy trying to woo the king's favor. But a true friend will both speak the truth to us - but will also speak with much grace in what he or she says. Here is the friend of the king - with a pure heart and with grace on his lips. As we look at him closer, we should see here not just a fitting friend for the king, but in all honesty - a fitting friend for anyone! This description fits what we should want in a friend period. May God be gracious to us and allow us to find such a friend in our lifetime. If we do find one - we should thank God for them - and - be such a friend to them as well. It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9
There are days when I would rather not have this blog due to the nature of the subject matter present. Today is one of those days. This is only because I would rather spend a thousand days dealing with men and their biblical responsibilities and their sin, than spend one having to point out sin to ladies. Too often in our perverted world women are bashed on these matters with caracitures that are unflattering at best, and just plain mean at other times. So ladies, today I will try to hug as closely to the text as possible - only using biblical examples as I seek to explain this passage. This proverb begins with a funny picture. We have a man sitting on the corner of his roof. He has decided that this is the better place for him to live. That seems very strange to us. Considering the exposure to the elements - and the sheer uncomfortable nature of living on just the corner of your roof - we are bewildered at this man's choice. What could be so bad that he would make such a choice? According to this proverb, it is the prospect of sharing his house with a contentious woman. What is a "contentious" woman? The Hebrew word used here is "madon" and it refers to someone who is filled with strife and dissension. It speaks in Proverbs 17:14 of a quarrel or dispute that cannot be stopped once it starts - or in Proverbs 18:19 of arguments and contentiousness that create barriers between people. It is usually associated with an evil heart and with a bad temper. Other sins associated with this sin of contention are lying, perversity, and hatred. These are pretty bad sins - especially when you consider that this is someone with whom you live on a regular basis in life. The relationship one has with their wife should be the closest in life - but when a wife is acting this way - it makes life miserable. This lady is miserable herself - and honestly - is making everyone else around her equally miserable. Rather than be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit (as is counselled by Scripture) she is filled with anger, resentment, hatred, and because of these things - a contentious spirit that is ready at a moment's notice to enter into strife and voice her continual dissent. No wonder this guy is sitting on the corner of his rooftop - it is the only place he may be able to get a little peace and quiet. Ladies, if you would indulge me for just a brief few moments, God desires you to be your husband's helper. This is the same term that is used to describe the Holy Spirit. You are called to come alongside your husband and cheer him on - calling him to be the man God wants him to be - and cheering loudly for him whenever he shows the slightest inkling toward that call. Let me let you ladies in on a secret. (All men need to stop reading at this point - and if you do - please do not bring up a vote to have my man-card revoked). Ladies, your words are so very impotant to your husband. You may think he doesn't listen - but he hears every word you say. Whether he chooses to admit it or not - your words are more important to him than any other that are spoken during his day. When you cut him down and constantly criticize him - it does more damage than a thousand comments made by anyone else. The reason this guy is living on the corner of his rooftop - is because he is hurting so bad that any indignity or discomfort would be better for him. He hurts because rather than being encouraged by his wife - he is torn down. That is something that honestly cannot be fixed by anything other than you changing how you speak to him. Yes, I understand that often men are lazy and not exactly taking up the mantle to be God's man. Yes, I understand that you get frustrated waiting for him to be that man. Yes, I also understand that it is not fair for him to dump the spiritual leadership of your home on you. BUT . . . being contentious will not help matters at all. Men will react to this by retreating further from their God-given task. If you would praise him and encourage him when you see the slightest advance, you might be surprised at what begins to happen. Who knows, you might even see him pack up his stuff from the corner of the roof (or man-cave, or garage, or shop, or wherever he hides) and emotionally and spiritually move back into the home. All I know is that wisdom tells me that we get more flies with honey than with vinegar. That means a sweet and gentle spirit will yield far more from your man than being contentious and filled with strife. |
 Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. 
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