Category: Fellowship

Vegetarian or Love-etarian? Proverbs 15:17

8/28/2018

Better is a dish of vegetables where love is than a fattened ox served with hatred. Proverbs 15:17

Some might think that this particular proverb is reason to preach vegetarianism - but the point of this proverb is not the content of your meals as much as it is the spirit in which you partake of them. The dish of vegetables is actually seen as far less sumptuous fare than the fattened ox. The difference here is what is going on while you are sharing your meal with others. The vegetables, though not nearly as fancy as the fattened ox, are better because they are seasoned with love. As a pastor I've had the joy of sharing meals with families. Some of the most precious meals I've enjoyed in my 30 years as a pastor have been shared with some of the poorest of people. The meals, though simple, were liberally seasoned with love and precious fellowship. It was such a blessing to sit at such a table.

The proverb compares the simple fare of a dish of vegetables with the food of a rich man's feast. To have a fattened ox was about as special as it got in Israel. If you remember, the father of the prodigal son ordered that the fattened calf be served when his son came home. It was a time of glorious celebration - and only the best was to be served. But what this proverb tells us is that the fattened ox served by the rich man was seasoned with hatred. Though a wonderful culinary delight was served - it was served by someone who hated their guests. This is a strange kind of hospitality indeed. They have guests - but only to get what they can from them. They invite their guests to their high-class affairs to put them in their debt - so that at a later date they can collect what they are owed. The worst of these parties are the ones that are done for people they absolutely despise - but they do it anyway because then everyone there will owe them favors. This is a meal destined for relational indigestion. The food may taste good - but will only sour in their stomach as the problem of having to deal with their host comes to the surface. There is no love - only hatred and a desire to be owed or owned.

Consider the practice of bringing food to a client from whom you desire sales. The saleesman may not even like the person - but feeds them to gain their business. Consider the political fund raising event where the purpose of it is not to enjoy good fellowship. The purpose is to separate those attending from their money at the end of the evening. Consider all these events - and many more where tasty and sumptuous food is served - but the core reason you are invited has nothing to do with true fellowship or heartfelt love.

So our writer warns us that in situations where you are offered the finest of culinary delights - you need to check your own heart - and seek to discern the heart of those who feed you. it is better to be served vegetables than for expensive food to be placed before you with hidden motives. This is not for reasons of frugality, nor it is meant to be a call to vegetarianism. Actually, it is a warning against false hospitality and the expectations that often come with it. It is a warning to partake of true fellowship - even if it is over celery and water. It is a call for all of us to be active "love-etarians." Even though "love-etarian" is not a real word, I think we can all understand what is being said to us. That lesson is this: In the end, fellowship with love will always trump hatred and fine dining. One may fill your stomach - but the other fills your soul.

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Are You a Concealer or a Confessor? Proverbs 28:13

10/24/2012

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He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Proverbs 28:13

Here is a proverb that agrees perfectly with what is said in the New Testament. We read in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is the truth of 1 John 1:9 stated in another way. Whereas the 1 John passage states this truth in the positive only, this proverb also warns us of the consequences and danger of not dealing with our sins.

The Concealer . . . First we are told about the fate of the one who conceals his transgressions. The word "conceal" means to cover - and has the idea of a cover up. This man is hiding his transgressions (word meaning a sin or rebellion - here against God and His Law and His way). Thus the concealer is not willing to bring his sin to light before God. He therefore hides his rebellion thinking that God does not see him. This same word was used to describe how Joseph's brothers tried to hide their sin when they dipped his coat in goat's blood and brought to Jacob. There was an attempted cover up by Joseph's brothers which eventually came to light. In the same way, we are warned against covering up our sins. They will come to light - and the way this happens in by a loss of the blessing of God.

Psalm 32:5 also speaks of his particular sin of hiding and trying to cover up our sin. The Psalmist says, "I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I did not hide; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"; And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah." When he was trying to hide his sin from God, the Psalmist had nothing but grief and pain. When he faced his sin before God he received forgiveness. Hiding our sins is not only counterproductive - it is also ridiculously foolish. We serve a God Who is omniscient. He knows all things. When Adam and Eve tried to hide in the garden - it was out of shame and rebellion. The problem for them was that God could still see them - and did even as they committed the first sin. Cain answered God rebelliously when God asked where his brother Abel was. Cain must have thought God did not see - but he did - and Abel's blood was crying out to God from the ground. Moses thought he could kill the Egyptian and hide him in the piles of grain - but God saw - as well as some other Hebrews. HEre is a fact you should always remember. We can never hide our sin from a holy, omniscient God. He truly sees all! He warns his people, "Be sure that your sins will find you out!"

Proverbs tells us that this man who is trying to conceal his sin will not prosper. Prosper is the Hebrew word "tsalach" which means to succeed or to be victorious. This word has the idea of breaking out or breaking through - and has a military aspect to it. It spoke of how an army would break through their enemies - which was a sure sign that they were about to win the battle and defeat them. Proverbs says to us is that concealing our sins is way to ensure we will NOT PROSPER. God wants us to confess and forsake our sin. When we choose rebellion and sin against God, we are in serious trouble. We are facing judgment if we do not know Christ - or discipline if we do. What we need is grace - we need God's compassion. That is exactly what Proverbs is wanting to teach us. God wants us to know how to obtain His compassion when we sin?

How do we obtain God's compassion and restoration? First, we confess our sins and rebellion. What is fascinating here is the word that God uses to describe confession. The Hebrew word is "yadah." This word means to throw towards - to cast something towards. Here it means to throw off our sin and cast it towards God. It means that we are throwing all our sin and rebellion to God - with a desire for Him to show us forgiveness and compassion. What is wild is that this same word is used for praising God - meaning that we are casting our hands up into the air and casting our praises toward God. God does not want us to try to hold our sins close to us - He wants us to cast those sins away from us and toward Him for His compassion and grace!

There is a second thing that puts us in line for God's compassion and forgiveness. Some teach that all we need to do is to confess our sins and everything is fine with God. That is partially true. There is suppose to be a second attitude present. If it is not - I do not believe the Bible says that we will receive forgiveness. That attitude or action is to forsake our sins. This word means to abandon, desert, leave behind, completely neglect and STOP. When we come to God seeking His compassion and forgiveness - we need to come with a heart that says, "Please forgive me God . . . and I also want to forsake and abandon my sin." This is the kind of heart that finds compassion and forgiveness before God.

This verse is vital in us knowing the fellowship and grace of God. It is so important for us to grasp the call of God to deal with our sins and rebellion. I honestly believe that just as 1 John 1:9 is such a blessed verse - this verse in Proverbs 28:13 is as well. Oh that we would hear this and heed it as well. It would throw open to us the door to God's grace, mercy, and compassion that we need every day of our lives.

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Manly Accountability - Let the Sparks Fly! Proverbs 27:17

10/8/2012

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Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

What a blessing it is to have godly accountability - especially between men. Today's proverb uses a very masculine picture to show how two men can be of great blessing to each other. That picture is of iron sharpening iron. You have a picture of two pieces of iron - most likely that of a pair of swords or other sharp instruments. As these two pieces of iron are rubbed against one another they have the affect of sharpening each other. The friction and the strengths of each wear away the edge on the other - and the result is a sharpened blade. As this process goes on there usually are sparks - but in the end both pieces of iron are benefited as they knock off the rough and unsharpened edges of each other.

We are then introduced in the second part of this proverb to the fact that in the same way that iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another. This is all about a brother helping a brother in an accountability relationship. This is something that I truly believe is indicative of manly relationships. It is not that women should not be accountable to each other - they should. But . . . it is usually the men that resemble iron sharpening iron in these relationships.

Men want manly relationships. This is why you do not see guys lined up with other guys going to see a romantic comedy - but you do see them getting ready to see a war movie or a sports movie. Guys don't mind encouraging each other towards spiritual maturity - but they want to do it iron to iron! They want someone to challenge them to be a man of God. They do not want to polish each other - they want iron to iron, spark-throwing, metal-grinding imput into their lives. Too often we want to take the manliness out of such relationships - and we err in doing so.

Over the years I've had a number of accountability relationships with other men. We meet beforehand to talk about what we want to address in these times. The ones that have been the most helpful are the ones where we don't mind being pretty blunt with each other. We are willing to look the other guy in the eye and tell him he is blowing it - and that he needs to suck it up and be a man in regard to some things. These are the kinds of relationships where we call each other higher - and we are not afraid to confront each other about sin in our lives. At times there is even a fox-hole mentality that we are fighting together for the things of the Lord - and we will stand shoulder to shoulder against the enemy. We will go out and chase down a brother who is going out into sin. We'll hunt our brothers down and ask them honest questions. "What are you doing!?" or "Where are you going, man!?" are often the kind of things we ask. We speak brutal truth - letting our brother know where his actions are taking him - and that we do not want to see him messed up as a result.

These are relationships that have sparks fly - not in some kind of physical confrontation where someone gets beat up in the process. But there are sparks flying as we go to battle for each other. Sparks fly as we say what might seem as offensive things - but to a brother who needs to hear them - they are like music to our ears. Consider Nathan the prophet who shares a story of gross injustice. He shares with David, who is a former shepherd, about a man who takes a man's lamb and kills it for supper - rather than take one of his own flock to feed a visitor. David, in manly fashion, rises incensed by the injustice! He flashes with anger and rage calling for this man to be punished for his actions. Nathan has just stoked the manly vigor of David - and watched his eyes filled with fire! Then comes the sparks as iron touches iron. "David, YOU are the man!" David is the one who took another man's wife and committed adultery. Pretty strong stuff - a truly manly confrontation! Yet it is one that saved David's life - and led him back through repentance and confession of sin to God.

Such relationships are rare - but they are wonderful. Men who have them are truly blessed by the fact that a brother will confront them in sin. They will be protected - and sharpened by such relationships. They will also be protected from their own tendencies toward sinfulness. If you have an iron sharpening iron relationship - be grateful to God for it. If you do not have one - cry out to God for one. Then go and look for brothers who will stand with you - and who even have the strength to confront your sin to your face. Sparks may fly - but in the end you will both wind up much sharper instruments in the hands of God!

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How To Make Your Friends Sick of You - Proverbs 25:17

8/29/2012

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Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor's house, Or he will become weary of you and hate you. Proverbs 25:17

Here is a wise proverb concerning friendship that may seem strange at first glance. Having a friend is a wonderful thing - but there are friends who are what some call, "high-maintenance" people. They are the folks who start out as friends - but who soon so dominate your time that you start feeling like you want to avoid them. Yet the more you pull away - the more they seek to dominate your time. You wind up spending hours listening to them every day - and in the end - you wind up almost hating to see them - see their texts - or see their number come up when you look at your cell phone. This is what God is warning against in this proverb.

Friendship does demand some time spent together. This proverb is not encouraging us to be distant to everyone - and rarely spend time with each other. It is just using hyperbole to warn us against being the "over-needy" friend who seems to have to spend every waking moment with their best bud. The warning is to rarely let your foot be in your neighbor's house. The concept here is actually more that you rarely let your foot be there by your own choosing. What is advised is to be a good friend in life - but to be careful about how often you show up at their house. If you are invited, that is one thing, but when you are coming on your own constantly, it can begin to be a bother to them. Therefore, when it is your choice, be careful, be wise, and be somewhat infrequent. Don't be rude - just let your friend be the one who primarily initiates you coming to their home.

The word "weary" is telling us something important here. It lets us understand the hyperbole that is being employed in this proverb. We need to be careful to not "weary" someone else. The Hebrew word used here is "yisbaacha" and it means to be sated or full to the point of sickness. You know the feeling you get when you have eaten so much that you are about to throw up? That is what is being described here - in fact the same concept was used just a verse earlier to speak of eating too much honey. Now it is being used to describe a friend who spends too much time with you - and you are 'sated' with their presence to the point of being - honestly - sick of them. The warning here though is to us! Don't be that kind of friend. Be a friend naer enough to be a blessing - but yet still far away enough to NOT be an annoyance. It takes a wisdom to be able to discern which you are being.

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Avoiding the Need of a Love-Siege - Proverbs 18:19

5/13/2012

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A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel. Proverbs 18:19

Here is a proverb that is not difficult to understand, nor is it hard for us to see the ramifications of it in our everyday lives. We've all been in a situation where either we have offended someone, or we've been the offended party. We also all know how difficult it can be to remedy those situations. Therefore today's proverb just helps us see it in a word picture that is very descriptive and instructional.

The brother who is offended is harder to be won back to us than a strong city. The literal Hebrew here of the "strong city" is a walled city. To understand this we have to go back to days before there were air forces or artillery shells that could level a wall or a house. In those days a high, strong wall around a city was a formidible defense. When an army went within such a walled city, it was going to be very difficult to defeat them. The victorious strategy in these circumstances would involve a long seige of the city. It would involve starving the people until their ability to resist would be broken. It would also involve a final assault on the wall and the gates where they would be broken through - then the victory was assured. But such a seige might take months - and some of the more famous ones took even longer than a year. Therefore, when a brother is offended - he becomes like that walled city to our attempts to gain his trust and friendship again. That is why Proverbs 17:14 warns us that the beginning of a quarrel is like breaching a dam - therefore abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. Abandon your offensive actions and words - because if they come to the point of greatly offending someone, it will be very difficult to remedy the situation.

The second statement speaks of the bars of a citadel. The citadel was the place, usually at the center of the city where a large fortified tower was. It usually was high and barred. It had large stores of food and weapons for a last stand. If all else failed, the last people of the city would go here to try to make a last ditch stand against those who had breached the walls of the city. It was usually the place they would go to fight to the death - to the very last man.

Here is the picture shown to us about offending a brother. It is the one that warns us against having contentions, fights if you will, with a brother. Thus, we have MORE than just high walls to scale to overcome the problem of our brother being offended. We have to deal with the fact that even after we've breached the walls - they may retreat to the citadel to resist us to the bitter end. What a reminded to do all we can to be kind and gentle, loving and gracious, and patient and longsuffering in our dealings with our brothers. Too many don't practice such things and wind up seriously offending someone with their words or their actions. They don't think about the back end of such actions and choices. They don't consider how difficult this is going to be to fix. They don't see the walls being erected and the citadel of the heart being fortified against them. They are blind to all this - and blunder on in their offensive statements and actions. They are not wise in quickly diffusing arguments and abandoning quarrels. The sad result is broken relationships and long term bitterness in their familiies and with former friends.

Be wise, dear brothers and sisters, and see the value of being gracious and kind when you face a difficult relational situation. See the value of a long-term relationship with the other person rather than just wanting to win that particular argument. Realize that confrontation - even biblical, godly confrontation is something that needs to be approached in love - speaking in love - and acting in love. That may require hard words - but it seeks to avoid hard feelings. It helps us to enter into the problem with our eyes wide open not just to what we want solved, but even more importantly to the person with whom we want to solve them. We never need to forget that we work with people and want them to know two things more than anythinig else. Those two things are that God loves them and that no matter what the problem is - the answer ultimately will involve God's grace. With this is mind we need to respond both lovingly and graciously in all we say and do. That way we won't have to face a lengthy love siege in order to win back our brother.

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August 23rd, 2011

8/23/2011

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The Right Kind of Friends . . . Proverbs 18:24

11/18/2009

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A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

Can a man have too many friends? Is that what this passage is talking about - or - is it instructing us as to what kind of friends to make and to keep?

The "man of too many friends" is an interesting phrase. The word friend here is a very vanilla term. In order to know what kind of friend it refers to you have to understand the context. Yet the second time "friend" is used - the word is very specific.

The man of too many friends is the one who wants everyone to be his friend. He is willing to compromise who he is in order to make everyone his friend. I love the comments by Adam Clarke on this part of the verse.

There is a kind of factitious friendship in the world, that, to show one's self friendly in it, is very expensive, and in every way utterly unprofitable: it is maintained by expensive parties. feasts, etc., where the table groans with dainties, and where the conversation is either jejune and insipid, or calumnious; backbiting, talebearing, and scandal, being the general topics of the different squads in company. - Adam Clarke -

What happens to someone who has tons of friends - but is not interested in the "right kind" of friends? They come to ruin. This person may seem to be the most popular among everyone around, but what happens when they leave the room? Then the knives come out - the gossip begins - and the fact that this person is everything for everyone betrays them. These are what are called, "fast friends" who are there for you one day and the next are not. They are not true friends who are with you no matter what.

Solomon, as a king, knew about these people. They are the sycophants who suck up to you when they are with you - and who tear you apart when you leave. They are your friends because they want something - not because they actually like you or have any kind of commitment to your best interests. But when things get difficult, or you lose some of your popularity or power, or you are no longer wealthy they no longer are your friends. When you come to tough times - when you really need a friend - they are no longer there. They were your friend only because of what you provided for them - and now that you cannot provide it - you're gone!

But, we read, there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Here the word "friend" means "one who loves" - and is used to describe the love of husband and wife and the love that God has for us. Here is the true friend - who is described as the one who loves you. He sticks closer than even your family. He is steadfast and true to you no matter what happens in your life. His love is not a love FOR something - his is a love that chooses you and remains faithful and true to you for all time.

Interesting that many of the puritans used this verse to describe the Lord Jesus Christ. He is truly the friend who sticks closer than a brother. He stands with and stays with us for all eternity. He set His love and affection upon us from all eternity - and will remain our friend for all eternity.

So . . . what does a true friend look like? How do we act as a true friend? We love people like the Lord Jesus Christ loves them! That is a true friend to have - and a true friend to be.

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Proverb A DAy

Vegetarian or Love-etarian? Proverbs 15:17

Are You a Concealer or a Confessor? Proverbs 28:13

Manly Accountability - Let the Sparks Fly! Proverbs 27:17

How To Make Your Friends Sick of You - Proverbs 25:17

Avoiding the Need of a Love-Siege - Proverbs 18:19

August 23rd, 2011

The Right Kind of Friends . . . Proverbs 18:24

Proverb a Day

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​Proverb A DAy

Vegetarian or Love-etarian? Proverbs 15:17

Are You a Concealer or a Confessor? Proverbs 28:13

Manly Accountability - Let the Sparks Fly! Proverbs 27:17

How To Make Your Friends Sick of You - Proverbs 25:17

Avoiding the Need of a Love-Siege - Proverbs 18:19

August 23rd, 2011

The Right Kind of Friends . . . Proverbs 18:24

Proverb a Day

Archives

Proverb A DAy