Here is a proverb concerning contentious women and the problems that come from them. First we read that the contetious woman is compared to a constant dripping on a day of steady rain. Thus we see that such a thing is a constant annoyance. This is someone who will bother us greatly. That drip, drip, drip that we hear will wear on us over time and drive us crazy. Such is the contentious woman. But understanding the word "contentious" is very important for us to grasp what Solomon is saying.
The "contentious" woman is the woman who is involved with strife and dissension. This is the Hebrew word, "madon" which refers to a quarrel or dispute that gets out of hand quickly. Once started, it cannot be stopped. These are the kind of disputes that create barriers between people. According to Psalm 80:6 an evil heart is the source of these contentions and bitter arguments. These things come from someone with a hot temper and are very difficult to contain. Thus we see that the "contentious woman" is not someone who disagrees with us, but rather someone who vehemently disagrees and who takes that disagreement to the level of fighting and quarreling. This fighting is not a normal disagreement, but becomes something that can separate people for long periods of time as bitterness and resentment seethe because of the fighting.
Too often I have heard of this proverb used to disrespect a woman who respectfully disagrees with her husband. The contentious woman is anything BUT respectful - she is fiesty and cantankerous. She is itching for a fight - and when given the slightest reason to enter one - does so with both feet firmly set in the middle of it. It is not sinful for a woman to disagree with someone - even her husband or a person in authority. That is not what this proverb is about. It is about a woman who is ready to fight, and quarrel, and do so disgustingly. The next verse says that trying to restrain such a woman and her venom is like trying to restrain wind or grasp oil and hold it. It is impossible to do so, because such things cannot be done. Thus, when we come upon such a woman, we should avoid her and keep ourselves clear from her path. She is a dangerous woman - whose actions will prove very destructive in the end. Rather than trying to restrain and hold her back, we need to withdraw from her and avoid her at all costs.
What we should remember as we read this is that God places great value on a woman who has a quiet and gentle spirit. This is what God desires - so when a woman goes the opposite direction, it is not only against what He wants, but it places an example before other women that is not only lacking, but it encourages them to behavior that is completely outside of what God desires in a Godly lady. May the Lord give us grace to see such godly women raised up in our fellowships - women whose testimony only makes the gospel of Jesus Christ more attractive and beautiful - like He has made them.