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How to Minister to a Troubled Heart - Proverbs 25:20

9/2/2012

Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, Is he who sings songs to a troubled heart. Proverbs 25:20

There are three things mentioned here in this passage - all three of which are wrong. The first two are examples, while the third is what the proverb is seeking to help us understand is wisdom. This proverb is one that I would call a "considerate" proverb. God is trying to get us to understand what being considerate means. The situation is that of someone who is troubled or sad about a situation or situations in life. The trouble has reached the point of troubling their heart. When this is the case, we need to understand that we need to be gracious and kind. A person who sings songs to someone who it troubled - is being inconsiderate toward the person. They will not think it a blessing to have happy songs sung to them. Even less would be the suggestion that they join in singing, which would then be presented at the perfect thing to help them get out of their emotional doldrums.

This kind of action is compared to someone who takes off their outer garment on a cold day. This would not be a blessing. The person would immediately react negatively to the cold and want to wrap up again. The other instance mentioned is someone who pours vinegar on soda. There would be an instand negative reaction as the soda vinegar mixture would begin bubbling up ruining both the soda and the vinegar. The purpose of giving these two examples if to remind us that as we would think either of them an unwise thing to do - so we should realize that someone who is dealing with a troubled heart should not do so by singing happy songs.

A wise man ministers to someone based on their need - not based on his own feelings at the time. A man is troubled not just because he is not feeling good emotionally. He is troubled because there are genuine issues that are unmet. He needs godly counsel. He needs someone who wants to understand him and the circumstances that have him so troubled. That kind of loving counsel will minister to him effectively.

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The Pain of Having a Morally-Stupid Son - Proverbs 17:25

4/11/2012

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A foolish son is a grief to his father And bitterness to her who bore him. Proverbs 17:25

This is a proverb that we've seen before in a slightly different fashion. The only difference is that the word for fool here is the Hebew word "kesiyl" which is a different word than what we've seen in the past. So, with a different word as our guide, lets look at the fool who is a heartbreak to both his mother and father.

The word "kesiyl refers to one of several different types of fools mentioned in Scripture. The word study we'll do here will reveal much to us. The first way this word is used is in Ecclesiastes 4:5,13 - where we see that it refers to someone who is unable to deal with the issues of life in successful or practically godly ways. We see that his laziness and unwillingness to be corrected or taught brings about serious problems for him. In Psalm 49:10-11 the psalmist uses the word "stupid" to describe someone who refuses to learn anything. Proverbs 1:32 speaks of a young man who is complacent about his ungodly ways and sees no need to change anything in his life. Psalm 92:6 reveals that he does not understand spiritual issues and Ecclesiastes 2:14 shows us that he chooses to walk in darkness and see the problems he has.

We get the idea that this son is a young man who refuses to learn or listen to anyone other than himself. He is lazy and undisciplined - and that is most clearly seen in that he refuses to do what is necessary to be guided by a person, a book, or any kind of mentor. In the end this young man's ignorance is embraced as he thinks that nothing is wrong - and his life needs no change. As a result he walks in darkness and doesn't even know it. His spiritual ignorance is astounding - yet the young man sees no connection between his problems and his unwillingness to listen and learn from anyone.

The parents of such a child are to be pitied. The father is filled with grief. The word for this is "kaas" which means to be angry and provoked. The same word is used for God's anger toward those who paractice idolatry. For the father of this young person - his anger and vexation is due to the fact that his child worships himself and his own mind rather than God. The only person he listens too and values is himself. His mother if filled with a sense of bitterness. It is very difficult for her to process the choices and actions of such a child. The word in the Hebrew speaks of a harsh reality that is the opposite of something pleasant. Her sorrow and pain is sharp as she tries to rear a child who values nothing of what is offered to him, unless he already has thought of it himself.

This young person's attitude mirrors that of a lost person without Christ. They are filled with ideas and thoughts that only validate their own thinking. They love their sin and see no need to stop it. They are grossly ignorant and stupid - valuing only their own thinking and reasoning which is fatally flawed by the fall of man into sin. There is no hope for such a young man or woman were it not for the grace and mercy of God. Fortunately for such people God pursues us by His infinite mercy. He brings us to a knowledge of our true condition and the sheer massive gargantuan size of our stupidity. He then draws us and opens our eyes to our condition - offering grace to change us from the inside out. For the parent of such a rebellious, ignorant child - there is only one hope. That hope is to fall on one's knees and cry out to God. Pray that He will open their eyes to their stupidity and deadness of heart - and then change them by the wonderful operation of His grace! There is little else one can do outside this. Thanks be to God that He delights in changing stupid young people into wise saints by His saving grace.

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The Medicine of a Joyful Heart - Proverbs 17:22

4/6/2012

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A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

There is a healing effect when we are joyful, cheerful people. We read in today's proverb that a joyful heart is good medicine. The word used for "joyful" here is the Hebrew word "sameah" which means, 'to be glad, happy, or joyful.' The idea behind this word is that someone is choosing to rejoice - to consider the good that God has done, rather than the misery and the opportunity to be sad and depressed. That is why we are to seek to maintain a "joyful" heart.

The number of medical studies that reveal to us this principle is nothing short of amazing. Dr. Hans Seyle, former director of the University of Montreal's Institute of Experimental Medicine and Surgery, discovered that when rats are subjected to cold, fatigue, frustration, noise, and other stressful conditions, they develop physical symptoms. Their blood pressure soars, their vital adrenal glands become grossly enlarged, their thymus and lymphatic glands shrink, and they develop peptic ulcers. Research done by the American Medical Association by a Dr Seyle showed that in animals emotional stress causes fats to be drawn from the body, dumped into the blood, and deposited along artery walls. The lethal results are atherosclerosis and coronary-artery disease. According to Dr. Seyle, hatred, frustration, and anxiety are the worst stresses. If you forcefully restrain a normally active rat, deadly frustration results. If you put a mouse and a cat in adjoining cages, the mouse will die of anxiety.

This kind of "broken spirit" will, according to the Lord, dry up the bones. This is a horrible condition because our bones are not only our main source of strength and stability, but they are also the place where our blood is produced. Without our bones we will surely die in short order. What is difficult though is that we cannot go up to someone who is dried up in their affections and tell them to be joyful. That does not help them. They know they are without joy - and can sense the drying up of their vitality. An admontion to stop this is like asking the sun to stop shining simply by requesting it. What they need is a supernatural infusion of joy - or even better an infusing of a joy producing principle that will not go away with the seasons or the up and down existance of being alive.

Where can we obtain joy? That is the million dollar question. Fortunately, we are instructed in where to find joy in the gospels. When Jesus was born the angels made an amazing statement. "But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people, for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." (Luke 2:10-11) Joy comes when we are brought into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. The true source of a dried up spirit is that we are separated fom God by our sin. The weight of our guilt along with the prospect of judgment and separation from God for all eternity will bring great pain and sorrow.

Jesus, when He came on the scene publically, read the following passage from Isaiah to the people in Gallilee. "The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting." (Isaiah 61:1-3)

For those afflicted with sorrow, sighing, sadness, and a broken spirit there is wonderful news. Jesus came to bring great joy. He came to give us the oil of joy poured upon our heads rather than a spirit of fainting. The cause of the broken spirit is our separation from God - and its remedy is turning to God through Jesus Christ. That is how we can have our sorrow turned to laughter and our gloom to everlasting joy.

Joy is not just laughter. Some use this verse to promote Christian comediens. But I will say that although I enjoy their humor greatly - they are not the source of bringing men from sorrow to joy. Solomon also wrote Ecclesastes 2 which says, "I said to myself, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure. So enjoy yourself." And behold, it too was futility. I said of laughter, "It is madness," and of pleasure, "What does it accomplish?" (Ecclesiastes 2:1-2) So just getting someone to laugh will not solve the cause of a broken heart. David said it best when in the midst of his confession of sin he said, "Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation!" Joy comes from knowing God - knowing your sins are forgiven - knowing that you will stand in the judgment. When this aspect of our lives is not right - nothing will be.

The way to a joyful heart is by knowing God through Jesus Christ, crucified, buried, and resurrected from the dead. It is by coming to God in repentance and faith and turning from a self-centered life to one centered in Him. God offers such a gift freely to us - therefore joy is truly available to men. The problem is that they turn to other things than Him and His gospel to obtain it.

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The Joyless Father - Proverbs 17:21

4/5/2012

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He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy. Proverbs 17:21

Wisdom knows that children can be a source of great joy - and also a source of incredible sorrow. This particular proverb points us to the fact that a man who has a child - and that child becomes a fool - is a man who will have a great deal or sorrow, pain, and difficulty. There are a couple of things we should note, though, in this statement.

When a man sires a fool - it is not just the process of having a child that is meant here. God calls us to rear our children according to His Word - making sure that we first live it before them - and also that we spend time teaching them this Word as well. Listen to what God says in Deuteronomy on this issue.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

It is so important to see here a call to reality in our own spiritual walk first. We are to love God with all our heart, soul, and might. We are to put His Word on OUR hearts first. Then right after this is the command to teach these things DILIGENTLY to our children. The way this is said givbes the impression that this is to be part of our lifestyle. When we do not do this - we are paving the way to be one who has sired a fool. But the reality is that the foolishness was not inherent in the child - it often is a learned response. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, proverbs tells us, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Often a fool is created by one who thinks that discipline and correction are too strident for a child. The fact is leave these things out of a child's life - and you will sire a fool before it is over.

The father here has no joy - because has to watch his son live like a fool. He watches his boy live a life that is very self-destructive. He also watches as the lack of his own parenting comes back to haunt him. Let me give a brief testimony concerning rearing children.

God has blessed me with 6 wonderful children - and a very, very godly wife. We are in the twilight of rearing our children. Child-rearing is not a spectator sport - and often is a full contact - heart-breaking activity. God has blessed us with very godly kids who have a heart for God. But this was NOT something that was like falling off of a log. There were times when we taught - times when we had to discipline - and times when we wondered if discipline even worked. But we trusted God's Word. There were also times when we had to confront our teenage children with their lifestyle choices. We faced times when we were the "uncool" parents - and even times when one would tell us that they hated us and that we were ruining their lives. Ah, good times . . . But there were also times when we would invest in our children - being at events - spending hours talking, listening, and even answering difficult questions. All this required time, effort, and at times very tough choices.

I am saying this to say that too many men are little more than sperm donors to their children. I know that is a rough statement - but rearing children requires a lifetime committment to them - and to God. By the way, it also requires learning how to walk with god yourself. There were times when God would call ME on the carpet - rebuke me - and correct me. Honestly - the best place to learn parenting is from how God dealt with His people. There were times when I would have to face the fact that I had been a hypocrite - and then would have to sit my children down and admit it to them! We were anything but "perfect parents." We were participants in the gospel and the grace of God. We were participants in growing up in the Lord. I know that at least I was a royal doofus many times. There are times when I wonder how any of my kids could turn out well when I look at the progression of my own heart. When I think of how often I fell - how often I failed - and how often I was on my face dealing with my own sin. I've had to face daily discipline from God - and from brothers who help me stay committed to the Lord. Without this - I would have utterly destroyed my testimony.

Here is what I am trying to say. Life is a full-contact sport. It is hard. It is difficult and often is exhausting. It also has a million blessings intersperced in it as well. To live it - we have to turn to God a billion times - often wondering when we will ever get it right. But this IS life. We sire fools when we do not both walk with them through this wonderful gauntlet - as well as teach them and cheer them on as they make their way through after us. It requires us to live our lives for God's purposes and plans - even in having children. It requires us to die daily to ourselves and live for God's glory in it all. Is this easy . . . NO! Is it possible . . . YES! Is it rewarding and awesome and amazing as we walk with God through it all . . . ABSOLUTELY! Therefore, I urge you men out there reading this to take the task of loving God, loving your wife, and siring and rearing children very seriously. It will take your whole life to do it - it will cost you everything to accomplish it - but it will mean everything to you when you look back on it with joy - seeing your kids follow Christ.

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Two Kinds of Sickness All Men Must Face - Proverbs 18:14

2/18/2011

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The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, But as for a broken spirit who can bear it? Proverbs 18:14

There are two kinds of sickness that can come upon us. One is a sickness that we can endure and bear - but there is a second type mentioned in the Scripture that is impossible to bear without the work and grace of God being upon us.

We are told that the spirit of a man can endure his sickness. This sickness mentioned here is the word used for various illnesses that come upon us due to the face that we live in a fallen world. The entrance of sin into our world ruined it. It also introduced sickness and death into our world as well. But a man's spirit can help him endure his sickness. I am about to share something that will cause some to react badly. If we live in this world, we are going to face illness and sickness. Because of the fall of man and the entrance of sin into our world - sickness also came into it as well. What I mean by this is NOT that anyone who is sick must have sinned. That is false doctrine. But what I do mean is that when sin entered the human race - death did as well. Now all things are running down - aging - and generally falling apart. The second law of thermodynamics tells us that things are moving from order to disorder. That is true in our very makeup itself. Our cells are breaking down - our DNA is liable to mutation (which is never good) - and we will slowly fall apart until we physically die. This is fact. Those who think we can go through all of life simply confessing divine health - and therefore never having to be sick or adversely affected by the degeneration of our world or ourselves are sadly mistaken. They to will die due to the sin of man.

Now, before I completely depress you, let me return to our proverb today. Our spirit can help us endure sickness. There is an inner strength that is granted to us in our spirit that helps us deal with the fact that we are human. We will make it through sickness. I've seen the extreme of this in believers who glorify God in the midst of terminal illnesses. There is something so alive and strong in them - even in the midst of their last days. They conquer death - even as they face it. That is the power of God working in our spirits.

But the Proverb does warn of a second sickness that is unbearable to the human condition. "But as for a broken spirit who can bear it?" The word for broken here is so telling. It does not refer to what we experience at the end of a romance - the famous broken heart of romantic movies and novels. This broken spirit is one that is stricken and scouraged. It refers to more than just suffering. It refers to when we come to see that everything we can live for in this life means nothing. It is the brokenness that God actually seeks to bring us to in life. It is a brokenness that cannot be cured with more stuff or more power. It won't be solved by a new romance - or another boyfriend or girlfriend. This brokenness goes to the very depths of our spirit. It is God telling us that we cannot be self-repaired. We need Him. That is why the wise man poses the question, "Who can bear it?" No one can - except he turn to God. Only He can reach to the very core of our deadness and cause our spirit to come alive. This work He does by the Spirit of God as He applies the gospel of Jesus Christ to our broken condition. Then we find ourselves fixed - and actually far more than fixed. We are reborn - and our spirit comes alive as the Holy Spirit grants us the very life of God.

The wise man knows as he sees and endures the sicknesses of this present world that something is terribly wrong with this world. The death that reigns over this present world points us to a much deeper death that reigns over our souls. This brokenness of spirit can only be repaired by God. He has given the cure in the gospel of Jesus Christ. And . . . a wise man knows to turn to God for His ultimate remedy for a broken spirit.

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A Pet Name - A Picture of Forgiveness - A Reminder of True Wisdom in God's Grace - Proverbs 31:1-2

1/31/2010

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The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him: What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows? Proverbs 31:1-2

Who is king Lemuel? According to some the name was a pet name for Solomon. Thus, this would make the woman speaking this his mother, Bathsheba. God called Solomon Jedidiah, which means "beloved of the Lord." Lemuel means "devoted to the Lord." Several commentators believe this may have been a pet name for Solomon used by Bathsheba. I love pet names. I have several for my children (which I won't mention because it might embarass them). Most pet names arise because of love - and most are spoken in love as well. How this was the case for Bathsheba.

This is described as being the "prophecy" that his mother taught him. Prophecy here is "massa" which means a burden or a load. It was a weight that his mother carried with her all her days - and it was truths as a result of that burden that she spoke strongly to her son. Considering what happened to Bathsheba and David it is easy to see why this would have been a burden to her. She may have heard whisperings in the palace all of her life - whisperings that were the result of her sin with David. Thus we can see that her burden would be to save her son from a similar fate by warning him of some things to avoid as a man - and especially as a king. Those words come later - for now let's take a closer look at that pet name - Lemuel.

Bathsheba speaks of Solomon as her son - as the son of her womb and the son of her vows. We can only imagine the difficulty and pain Bathsheba felt after her sin with David - and the loss of their child born of their sin. Would God ever give her another child? Had her sin cost her everything? These are the words of a woman who needed to know God's grace.

Ever wonder why Solomon was called Jedidiah by God? This means "beloved of the Lord," and was to be a sign to David and Bathsheba that this boy was dearly loved of the Lord. What a glorious picture of grace this is to us! And now that we see that his mother who carried him considered him the "son of her vows" it becomes even more precious to us. It is easy to see Bathsheba coming to her own repentance. These words may be her own Psalm 51 moment. She knew she should not have committed adultery with the king. She knew she should not have consented to the cover up with him - one in which she unwittingly was an accessory to the murder of her own husband. Oh the guilt and pain that must have racked her from day to day. Then came the death of her first child - the very child that resulted from her sin. It would be easy to see her sinking into utter despair and depression. Yet we see her doing this. Instead we see her turning to the Lord in repentance and in making new vows to God to be a woman of character and godliness! And how God accepted her brokenness as a gift and a prize. He gave her a son - and afterward God gave him a pet name - Jedidiah - the beloved of God - for the Lord loved this child that resulted from the grace on the other side of David's sin.

Here dear saints is the wisdom for today. Never give up on turning to God in repentance and in faith. Never turn away and think you've gone too far. If you do - think of Bathsheba and David. Think of the shame and disgrace of their sin - and the cost of the child afterwards. Then think of the name that Bathsheba called her son within the palace. Consider that this child of her vows was a constant reminder to her that the Lord loved him too! He heard her prayers and cries of confession. He too loved the child on the other side of repentance - as he does everything that is birthed after we break and turn to Him.

So, if you are tempted and tried - sorely grieving your own sins. If you struggle with whether God will receive you - welcome one so stained and damaged by rebellion and wickedness. Think of the lovely wafting sounds of "Lemuel!" sounding through the palace. She too had a pet name - one that reminded her of God's own name for her son. Think of a child that God gave a name to remind you that He loved him and that He forgave you. Think of a pet name - a name that was uttered with a smile upon Bathsheba's face. Think of that name that reminded her that though her sins were as scarlet - God washed them whiter than snow! That, dear saints, is wisdom - and it is also the glorious grace of God! May He ever be praised and glorified for shedding it upon us!

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How to Minister to a Troubled Heart - Proverbs 25:20

The Pain of Having a Morally-Stupid Son - Proverbs 17:25

The Medicine of a Joyful Heart - Proverbs 17:22

The Joyless Father - Proverbs 17:21

Two Kinds of Sickness All Men Must Face - Proverbs 18:14

A Pet Name - A Picture of Forgiveness - A Reminder of True Wisdom in God's Grace - Proverbs 31:1-2

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