There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.
Proverbs 14:12 Why is it that we cannot just trust our natural instincts concerning God and issues of morality and truth? If this proverb is true (and it is), then we face a very real danger when we trust what we think is right in our lives. When we live a self-directed life and a life that is self-oriented - we are going to have very serious problems. Why is this the case? First of all, we need to see that for a time in this life - this proverb may seem like it is wrong. There are those who do what they think is right - and it seems to go well for them. I would agree with this assessment for the here and now - for life on this earth. But that is not what this proverb is saying to us. It is saying that the end of a self-directed life is death. The word end here is our old friend, "acharith," the Hebrew word meaning the latter end of things. Things seemed to be going marvelous for the rich farmer who did not use his riches for the glory of God. Things seemed to be going well for the rich man who lavished abundance on himself, but did not even notice the starving Lazarus at his gate. Things seemed to be going well for Belshazzar the king as he feasted with his nobles and friends and drank wine out of the temple goblets and toasted the gods of silver and gold. Things seemed to be going well for many people who lived a life of luxury and self-indulgence here on earth. The problem is going to come at the latter end of their lives. The rich farmer, after building bigger barns and saying he was set for life - experienced the end of his life - and had done nothing to prepare for eternity. The rich man realized as James said, the humiliation of his exalted position on earth, as he envied the destitute Lazarus' one in the afterlife. He begged for Lazarus to only dip the tip of his finger in water and touch the end of his tongue - for he was in agony in the fires of hell. Belshazzar soon grasped the infinite foolishness of serving the false gods of silver and gold - when the true and living God sent a hand to write on his wall. He learned that his self-directed life had been weighed in the balances - and he was found wanting. One can only hope he enjoyed that banquet that evening - for by the next evening he was dead and in hell - forever wanting in the sight of God. These three are examples for us of the stupidity of the self-directed life. There are many others in Scripture and in life who follow their footsteps into hell. There is Dathan and Abiram who opposed God and received a non-stop trip to hell via the ground opening up and swallowing them and their families whole. There were the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah who undoubtedly held the same concept of God keeping His morality off of their bodies. They wound up fried along with their cities as God's judgment revealed their latter end. And, lest we think that this ignoble end is only for those guilty of heinous sin - there are those who die every day as good ole boys - as "good" "moral" people. Their ultimate end was sealed when they decided that they were decent enough and did not need Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross to pay for their sins. When you listen to the news, the entertainment industry, the religious elite, and the gurus of public opinion - you would think that the cross of Christ is foolishness (Gee that sounds like Paul in 1 Corinthians doesn't it). You would think that mankind does not need a religious crutch to lean on - mankind can solve their own problems without religion or some savior. But reality is this - mankind does not need a crutch. We would only need a crutch if we were injured. The fact is that we are dead! We need a whole new life. We might need a religious system if we only needed modification. The fact is that we are ruined. We need to be completely regenerated and made new. But the world for the most part rejects these truths revealed to us in Scripture. They have a way that seems right to them - that makes more sense. That is because "the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." It is because, "the Jews ask for signs and the Greeks (read thinkers here) search for wisdom; but we preach Christ curcified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness, but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God." There is that way that seems to right to men - but in the end "THAT WAY" is actually the foolish and the stupid one. If they continue following it and reject the gospel . . . it will end in death - eternal death in hell. I know that is not popular in today's culture - either religious or secular - but nevertheless - it is the truth. If we are wise we will reject what the world calls wisdom - and embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ - for that is truly wisdom that will last through all the ages and until the end of time.
1 Comment
He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, But he who pursues worthless things lacks sense. Proverbs 12:11
I find it interesting that one of the phrases that I hear often is, "Don't work too hard." There are some out there who do struggle with the problem of working all the time - but over the past 49 years of my life, I think my problem is not working too hard. My problem is that I get distracted and lazy - and don't attend to the things that really matter in my life - and in my work. The proverb today uses an agricultural setting to help us understand the value and the blessing of working hard. "He who tills his land will have plenty of bread." If a man works hard at plowing the ground and planting a crop - he will have plenty of grain to harvest and make into bread. God intended for us to work in life. We need to remember that work is not a part of the curse. God had Adam till and work in the garden before the fall. What the fall did was make it to where we would have to work harder. The ground, which formerly grew wonderfully without weeds, was now going to yield the crops we need by the sweat of our brow. It is going to require not just tilling and planting - but also weeding. This was an activity that was unnecessary prior to the fall. This being said, there is a promise here that if we work hard tilling and planting the land - we will have a harvest sufficient to provide plenty of bread for our family. There is something that is good about work. The more I am idle - the more my mind and my heart have time to think of things that will get me into trouble. The saying that an idle mind is the devil's workshop is for the most part true. That is why God wants us to work - and I truly believe He wants us to work hard. The second half of this proverb warns us that the one who pursues worthless things lacks sense. What this is warning against is the wandering mind, and the earthly lifestyle. This man is pursuing worthless things. Worthless is the word "reya" which means something that is empty, worthless, or vain. It indicates something that has nothing in it - it is utterly empty. The unwise man is pursuing emptiness. He is chasing after things that do not matter - and will not matter in eternity. This man, according to Solomon, lacks sense. He is as void in his thinking as he is in his pursuit of these empty pursuits. What he wants and chases after is not worth having. He will open what to him is his treasure chest one day and find that it is filled with things that are void of any value whatsoever. As Solomon says in Ecclesiastes - he has chased after vanity and wind. Here is where we need to consider Ecclesiastes to give us the proper perspective on things. Solomon was arguably one of the richest men to ever live on this planet. Yet at the end of his life, when he wrote Ecclesiastes, he said that all the riches and wealth and opulence was empty, meaningless - a chasing after the wind. He looked at all the money and things he had and came to the conclusion that they were all vain. He looked at all the women he had sexual relations with and concluded that his pursuit of pleasure was all vain. He looked at all the authority and position he had enjoyed - and came to the realization that it too was vain. It is not that these things were evil in and of themselves (unless Scripture forbade his actions). It was that when he pursued these things he was pursuing emptiness - trying to catch wind in his hands. There is also the ones in today's society (and every society) that pursue vain things in the entertainments and amusements of our day. We have millions of children and adults who pursue the high score or the next level on their video games like it was the most important thing in life. We not only have people overindulged in sports - but now have fantasy sports leagues where we follow the ones actually playing in a make believe world of a fantasy league. Some lose themselves in virtual worlds on the computer - others now lose themselves in virtual computer pursuits on their iTouch or smart phone. Regardless of how we are doing it - we are wasting our lives in pursuit of worthless things. On the day when we are ultimately judged for the "tilling and planting of our very lives" we may unfortunately find that these pursuits were the height of foolishness. We may come to grasp that we have lacked the bread of life and as a result have suffered from spiritual famine most of our lives. May God gives us wisdom to learn now that what matters is working hard for the things that matter. What will matter is how we have redeemed the time in providing for our families - loving our spouses and our children - and working in the eternal fields of God's kingdom. If we do, we will have plenty of bread - even the bread that lasts forever. If we do not, we will have the terrifying specter of learning that we have spent our lives chasing after wind. Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you. Proverbs 6:21-22
There is such a blessing that comes from the teaching of Godly parents. They can bless us so much - if - we do not blow it by not taking what they say to us seriously. This is why Solomon told us in this proverb that we need to take these things and bind them on our hearts and tie them around our necks. This admonition to keep these teachings and truths on our heart and around our neck are both pictures of giving them a high place in our lives. This same admonition is given in Proverbs 1:8 about a parent's teaching - as well as in Proverbs 3:3 where it speaks about what we should do with kindness and truth in our lives. There are some things that we need to value as highly as possible. One of those things is the teaching of a godly father and mother. We are told in verse 22 that if we do this we will have a protection service that will function in our lives. We are told first that as we walk about these things will guide us. Consider how often you would be guided if you took the advice of a very godly set of parents. I can think of at least several serious disasters and problems I would not have if I had followed my father's advice on some financial matters. This is why, as parents, we need to be sure to teach our children the Scriptures and use them as the wisdom that we pass on to them. The wisdom of God's Word would guide our children everywhere that they go! The second blessing mentioned here is that as we sleep, these teachings and truths will watch over us. The word for "watch over" here is the Hebrew word "shamar" which means to watch over so as to protect. Whether you realize it or not, decisions you make are working either for or against you even as you sleep. Consider a financial decision to make a foolish investment. This investment is working even when you are asleep either to earn money or to watch it drop in value. In much the same way, decisions for godliness are working for us - even as we sleep. Following the godly advice of our parents will be working for us even as we are sleeping in our beds. Associations with others that might harm us - stopped by following godly advice. Decisions to invest in education - in a godly work ethic - to marry the right person - to live for the things of the Lord - all working marvelously for us every day we are alives. The final blessing mentioned here is that as we wake up - these things will be speaking to us. I remember a friend who has a godly mother who said to me that some of the things she hears that bless her - usually come in the sound of her mother's voice in her head. That is the value of what a parent teaches to a child when they take the time to teach them the Word of God. There are times we will hear them at a crossroads decision - and their counsel will be sweet to us. That is why we need to value you it like we would value some of our most prize possessions. Just a note as we come to the close of this particular proverb. As this proverb is true of a parent's teaching - it is even more true about the teaching and training of our heavenly father. His Word will bless us in the very same way - except with eternal blessings. How we need to heed Colossians and let that Word dwell "RICHLY" in our hearts. If we do - we will have God's Word lead us, watch over us, and speak to us all day long. What a blessing! The beginning of strife is like letting out water, So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. Proverbs 17:14
Ever watch one of the movies where a small break in a dam takes place. You watch as the water is let out only in a trickle. The problem is that the pressure behind that trickle of water is tremendous. Soon the little place where the water is leaking cracks further under that pressure and becomes larger. More water is let out resulting in more pressure on that place. At some point there is a breaking point where the entire dam begins falling apart and the water begins careening out of the dam. Up until the point where the dam begins falling apart - there is an opportunity to stop the disaster. What is amazing is that when the earliest "letting out" of the water starts, the only real way of dealing with the problem is to release the water at the base of the dam and lessen the pressure on the breach in the dam. If this is not done - and the original crack is not repaired - the dam will eventually break and cause tremendous devastation. Now back to our Proverb today. The beginning of strife is like the crack in the dam. This is not good because if left undealt with, it will make for a very serious 'breakout' of quarrelling. A fight is coming the longer that we do not deal with the very onset of strife in our hearts and minds. To leave it there is to embrace the coming quarrel and the problems it will engender. The counsel God gives is to abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. That means that we should die to ourselves and to our desire to make our point. We should resist throwing a little guilt in someone's direction - or a little barb to get back a little for a slight we feel. We should abandon the wrong pursuit of this difficulty and instead, should allow the comment, the slight, the supposed or real insult, or just the grouchiness we feel to die as God takes it from us. Just one last thought though. If you have an entire dam of feelings and pent-up anger that is pressuring you to argue or quarrel, it would be wise to get with God to see what is at the root of your problem with this person. The reason I say this is that there are times when we truly do have issues that will require us to examine our hearts - examine our relationships with others - and draw down the water (i.e. the anger and resentment) that fills the dam so that the pressure to react and "let out" a dispute is lowered significantly. But in the meantime - just die to yourself and what you want to say. It is better to do that than to have the quarrel break out and with it have damage that is far worse to the relationship result. Overcoming Sexual Temptation, part 8 - Final Words and Pictures to Remember - Proverbs 7:26-2712/14/2010 For many are the victims she has cast down, And numerous are all her slain. Her house is the way to Sheol, Descending to the chambers of death. Proverbs 7:26-27
Today we come to the end of our look at overcoming sexual temptation in chapter 7 of Proverbs. It ends with the father warning his sons one last time of the extreme dangers of the strange woman - the prostitute - the adulteress. Just a note to dads out there. This is the third time a warning has been issued to his sons by this father in as short as 18-20 verses. First he refers to her victims as the mortally wounded. Many, he says, are the mortally wounded that she has cast down. The word victim here refers to those who have been mortally wounded in battle. The world would have us view casual sex as something pleasurable alone - the Word tells us that it is something far more deadly. It is part of the war to destroy men and women's souls. When they depart from the Scriptures - they find themselves wounded badly - mortally by it. It probably should be noted here that this primarily refers to a man committing adultery with this woman. Although any sexual sin is deadly, the sin of adultery is more damaging in the end. Most often it ends a marriage - and blows a family apart. Those who have been through a divorce and a divided family know very well the damage such actions cause in the home. But this is only one way that sexual immorality is dangerous. There is also the specter of sexually transmitted diseases. Consider the multiple stories of men who entered into adulterous affairs - only to find out later that they had not only contracted AIDS themselves, but they had passed their disease on to their innocent wives as well. In this case death is brought to an entire household. There are currently over 30 different sexually transmitted diseases that cannot be cured. Do we really want to swim in the cesspool of the world of ungodly, immoral women and men with the state of our collective societal health in such disarray? But there are worse things than just the diseases that come from sexual immorality. There are the victims in the families - wives, children, and parents with broken hearts. Testimonies that have been destroyed lie fallen and trampled by the effects of actions taken in the moment of unthinking, foolish passion. The adulterous woman has seen numerous ones "cast down" in this way - and numerous slain because of the problems that have arisen in the end from the disease, the anger - even double murders due to one partner being so distraught that they first kill their spouse - and in remorse for their death - take their own lives. All of them lie slain due to the horrific effects of sexual sin. last thing this man says about sexual sin and the place the adulterous woman takes men - is that there is an address where she lives. We are not talking about the physical address - wherever that is on the earth. We are speaking of the ultimate address - Death. Her house is the way to Sheol - the place of the dead. It is a house that is a descent into chambers of death itself. The word "chamber" here means a parlor or a room. It is not a special word - but when it is further described by the father - it takes on a very ominous sense. The chambers of death. I am not usually a fan of some of the modern paraphrases of the Bible - but here both the "Message" and the "Living Bible" are paraphrased in such a way that they almost make goosebumps rise on my arms. Let me quote what they say about this last verse so you can read them and see a picture in your heads. The Message says in verse 27, "She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin." That is pretty expressive isn't it. She promises pleasure and sexual fulfillment - but actually she is just a pit stop on the way to hell. You think she is undressing you for a night of passion like no other, but actually she is just getting ready to outfit you with a death shroud and a coffin. The Living Bible states verse 27 this way, "If you want to find the road to hell, look for her house." Can you imagine a road sign that does say "Main Street," or "Fifth Avenue," but rather - "Road to Hell." Would you ever even want to be near that street - that pathway? That is what the wise father tries to do for his son. He seeks to paint such gruesome pictures - he may even tell true stories of the horrors of sexually transmitted diseases - of homes crushed and destroyed - of lives that crumbled - all for the purpose of warning his sons. These are not just ways of graphically describing something - they are promises from God - warning signs for us along the road to sexual immorality and adultery. Ignoring them is just as stupid as ignoring a bridge out sign. May God give us first the wisdom to heed His word for our own lives - and then may He also fill us with the wisdom and the Spirit to warn our sons in a way that engraves the truth about such things deep in their minds - reaching even to the innermost parts of their hearts and spirits. Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, And pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths. Proverbs 7:24-25
After giving a graphic description of the way a man falls into the trap of the harlot, the Holy Spirit gives a conclusion. God begins by having the father call for his sons to listen and pay attention. Here is a huge problem - and one I understand. Most people know the thing they should do about temptations to commit adultery or to visit a prostitute. The problem is not knowing - it is listening when someone is warning them. Very few of the sins of which I've been guilty were committed because I did not know the morally proper thing to do. They were committed because I was not listening to the warnings of the Holy Spirit as I was being tempted. They were committed because I ignored godly counsel that had been given to me. The wise father reiterates the truth to his sons again and again. He doesn't just talk to them or lecture them - he calls them to listen as he speaks. The word "listen" here does not mean just having the biological functions of the ear working properly. The word means to listen so as to comprehend, to discern, to give earnest heed, to be diligent in obeying what is said. The wise, godly father knows about distractions. That is why he calls his son to listen diligently with a view to discerning obedience that flows from fully comprehending what he has said to his son. The second phrase he uses here as he speaks is this, "pay attention." This phase means to listen and pay attention so as to give heed and to obey what is said. Dads, be careful to gain not just your son's ears - but to aim directly for their heart. The first thing that is said to the son is that he does not need to turn aside to her ways in his heart. There is the first problem when it comes to men who get caught up in sexual immorality and adultery. Their hearts are the first thing to go. This manifests itself first in seeing their hearts no longer being given to the Lord. In the third chapter of Revelation Jesus says to the church that they've lost their first love - that love that draws them to the Lord and has them belong to Him more than anything else. I've seen this before in young people - old people - anyone who finds themselves drawn away to sexual sin. They start when they no longer have that passion for Christ. They turn to someone other than the Lord - looking for satisfaction - for something to fill their emptiness. They find that the Lord is not enough - and that they will actually find what they need in someone else. That is how a man allows himself to "turn his heart" to her ways. When his heart is gone - there is a real serious danger - because at that point he probably won't listen. It isn't too much to say - he can't listen - because his heart controls what his ears will listen to in life. Once he has strayed in his heart from the Lord - and into her ways - then he begins to stray into her paths. He begins walking without the normal cautions that he would have naturally. But worse than this is the fact that he is walking without the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He is grieving the Holy Spirit so his warnings are no longer being heeded. This is a very dangerous place to be. When he does stray into her paths - there will not be the protection that he normally has. Thus - it will be that much easier to fall into sin. Wise fathers want to speak to their sons about these things. They want to not just fill their ears with lecture after lecture. The godly father wants to gain access to his son's heart. He wants to lay the protections and the guard rails there. That way his sons know that the battle is for their minds first - and for the hearts most. I am not opposed at all to doing exactly what this father does - and that is tell a cautionary tale to his son - filled with truth - and with the consequences of not guarding their hearts against the wiles of the strange, adulterous, sexually forward woman. Share even frightening details of what the possibilities are when they sin sexually. You are not using fear when you do - but you are using wisdom and truth. These are the allies that are needed to win the war against sexual temptation. Suddenly he follows her As an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, Until an arrow pierces through his liver; As a bird hastens to the snare, So he does not know that it will cost him his life. Proverbs 7:22-23
For the past several days we've been looking at how to overcome sexual temptation through the example of a fool who did not. Today we come to the sad choice that this man makes to enter into adultery - and the terrifying way that it is described. Just a point of reference first though to remind us of the context of this passage. This is a father warning his son of these things - and doing so through a story of a man who did not walk in wisdom when it came to his sexuality. Dads . . . I know I am talking to you a lot in these posts - but it is only because your role as a father is absolutely critical. Please talk to your sons - and do so in an honest and straight forward way as this father does. Don't succomb to passivity in this role - because I can promise you that the world is not being passive in the way it is trying to deceive your sons in to the opposite choices for sexual immorality. Suddenly seems such a strange word here - because we've watched this man act foolishly for quite a while now. But suddenly does describe the way men enter into the act of adultery. There is something intrinsic that resists adultery and sexual immorality in us. God has drawn a line in our spirits and souls - and it is one that we have to consciously cross to sin in this way. There is resistance all along the way - but when we push against those inner barriers - they give all at once. The choice to do this is a kind of all at once moment in our lives. We push and ignore the barrier - until it breaks . . . all at once. Then we follow our lusts into far more dangerous territory. Note here that he follows her. Men, that is not the way that this is supposed to work. God calls us to lead women, not follow them. But far too often men are passive and allow women to lead them. Here, we watch a man ignore his vows, ignore the warnings of the Holy Spirit, ignore the intrinsic barriers to this sin - and follow a woman - into a sexual tryst. Unfortunately too many men have done just this - follow a strange woman sexually into sin. They are not leading in any way spiritually - they just follow where sin points them. But what is truly terrifying here is the picture that is painted for us of just where she is leading him. All along this passage seems to be building to a sex scene of monumental proportions. The flesh salaciously is waiting for the sordid description of the act itself - yet none will be given here. Instead we read that what this fool is doing is compared to an ox going to the slaughter. It is like waking up from a great dream suddenly gone bad. This is not a pleasure palace - but a poisoned pit! The is not ecstasy - it is the end! The ox is going to have his throat slit - be grabbed by the feet or impaled by a hook - and is going to hang thrashing until his death by bleeding out. What a picture of what a few minutes of forbidden pleasure has in store for us. There are more pictures for us to have forever etched into our hearts about sexual sin. The second is that he is going to the discipline of a fool in fetters. The world lies to us telling us that when we give ourselves over to our fleshly desires we will be free - free from the fetters of a God who does not want us to experience pleasure. The truth is that the freedom is in marriage - with our wives. The bondage is in sexual immorality. The fool is first fettered - bound hand and foot - and then led to the place where he will be disciplined. That usually involved both a financial cost - and most likely 39 lashes upon his back with a whip or with rods. Sooo - how does sexual immorality look now? The next picture is of a man whose liver is pierced with an arrow. The Hebrew commentaries on Scripture infer that this is a deer that is being pierced by an arrow. The pain of that injury is severe - and fatal - but please note something important to see with this wound. The liver is the organ in our body that promotes purity in our blood. It literally cleanses our blood each time it passes through the liver. But when this man enters into the adulterous relationship, he is being pierced throught the one organ that cleanses our life itself. Remember Scripture says that the life of anything is in the blood. Here the life of this man is being polluted by his sin. But this sin does more than just pollute - it pollutes while also doing great damage to our ability to be purified. Paul makes an amazing statement in 1 Corinthians 6:18 when he says, "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body." Immorality is a sin against our bodies themselves. When we join ourselves to a prostitute or an immoral woman - we are damaging our very bodies. That is true physically through things like sexually transmitted diseases. But it is also true spiritually. I work with men - seeking to disciple them so that they will follow Jesus Christ. THE area I hear most trips men up is THIS AREA. That is why Paul's counsel in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 is this, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body." God wants us to glorify Him with our bodies - and that means fleeing sexual immorality. When we do not - we are piercing not just our spiritual condition - but we are seriously weaking our ability to be cleansed and fight sin period. Next is the picture of a bird actually running toward a snare. What a strange picture. A bird running to get caught and killed. But that is what a man entering into sexual sin is doing. He does not see the snare - nor does he recognize the camouflage. All he sees is the bait - and he doesn't even recognize it as bait. His lusts and desires are driving him and all he sees is momentary fulfillment. The last statement made to us is a warning. The fool here does not know that this will cost him his life. Once a man commits physical adultery - there is radical change coming for him in his life. Don't lose all hope if you've sinned in this way, because adultery is not the unforgiveable sin. But, it is a sin that costs dearly. Ask David. He will tell you that it pretty much cost him the life he once knew. Everything was different after that. We need to see this as well. Once we enter into adultery - and even when we enter into sexual sin - everything is different. There will be a battle after that - and it will be a difficult one. That is why the father is going to such lengths to warn his son in this passage. He is trying to do everything in his power to help his son see that such a path is not just dangerous - it is fatal! May God give us fathers wisdom to look at our own lives, our own struggles, possibly even our own failures - and warn our sons diligently to beware of sexual sin. May we use the wisdom God offers to us here - and teach them the dangers of such activity - and hopefully rear a generation of young men who will be less likely to step into sin when facing sexual temptation. With her many persuasions she entices him; With her flattering lips she seduces him. Proverbs 7:21
This is a summary statement of all that we've been looking at the past several days about overcoming sexual temptation - only in the reverse - learning from someone who did not overcome it - but succumbed to it instead. Two things led to this fool's demise. First is that he allowed the adulteress to have the opportunity to have "many persuasions" in her time with him. This points to a simple, yet oft ignored, truth about the appropriateness of man/woman relationships outside of marriage. Too often as American's we scoff at other cultures who limit the amount of contact a man has with a woman. We tend to scoff at their emphasis on modesty in clothing too - for which we are double fools in this society. The fact is that there is an appropriate way for men and women to interact - and an inappropriate way. Let me explain. Most affairs begin far from the bedroom. They start with the beginning of an inappropriate relationship between a man and a woman. These relationships almost always begin with one of the other starting to share the problems. With rapt attention the other listens - because usually they share a problem of intimacy with their mate. By intimacy I am not referring to their sexual relationship - but to the fact that they rarely talk any longer. This is due to the busy-ness of life or problems and barriers that have developed over the long-term of their marriage. Since neither of them are really working on this aspect of their marriages - they find someone willing to talk a wondeful thing. They do not intend on committing adultery during that first discussion - but nevertheless - they do enter into a man/woman relating to each other that is inappropriate. This builds as they share more and more - and reveal deeper and deeper levels of intimacy. At one point - sexual tension enters into their relationship. If they do not do a Barney Fife action (i.e. "Nip it in the bud!") they are now on a fast track to adultery. This is because it is not wise for a man to have a "best friend" that is a woman once he is married. In some ways this probably doesn't apply to long-term best friends of the past - although a wise man will shift this kind of friendship toward his wife. But to make a "new" best friend of a woman is never a wise thing to do. There is another scenario here as well - and that is the fool who is already in trouble - who is kinda seeking another woman. This fool already has one foot in the grave - but he is quickly putting the other one in the longer he talks to the woman who is persuading him to have adultery. The wisest thing a man can do when a woman other than his wife makes any kind of remote advance is to run. The Scriptures tell us to "flee youthful lusts and pursue faith, righteousness, love, and peace with those who call upon the Lord with a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22). The next wisest thing he can do is to tell either an accountability partner of the advance - or honestly - tell his wife. The second is the wisest choice. It truly nips this thing in the bud - and it lets his wife know that she needs to watch this woman. Don't be a fool and ever allow a woman to give any more than one persuasion to entice you away from God and from your marriage vows. The second thing we see in this passage is that this woman catches this man with her "flattering lips." As I've written in another post - men have this thing called an ego. When we are wise to allow only our wives to stroke our ego - or allow recognition from colleagues at work to do this - or our children - we are being discerning. When we do this for even a moment with another woman other than our wives - we are allowing pride and utter stupidity to drive our ego. Believe me when I say that we do not want these things working in our ego for even a moment unchecked. This adulteress takes the time to say nice things about the fool. She strokes his ego with her flattery - which to be honest is something that might be lacking at home. That is why men give in to this trap. Let me help you for a moment. If this woman marries you after your current marriage is destroyed - and then lives with you as long as your wife has - you've got to know that she probably won't be flattering your ego much either! That is why we MUST grasp that these "flatteries" are nothing more than lies. When you hear them think of the cheese on a mouse trap. Looks awfully inviting - except for that snapping bar that will break your neck as soon as you take a bite. Flattery from a strange woman might not break your neck instantly - but know that the bar is coming at some point - and your spiritual and marital neck will be broken - possibly beyond remedy. Men . . . I know that your ego will tell you that it's kinda nice to know that someone still thinks your handsome - wonderful - even sexy. But that little spark you felt in your heart when that happened is prelude to a forrest fire that will destroy beyond imagination. It is a lie - and it is going to be very destructive if you don't see it for what it is. It is cheese, brothers! It is cheese on a trap set to catch and kill you! Don't ever think for even a moment that it is anything less - because when you do - you are one step closer to that bar breaking your neck. "For my husband is not at home, He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him, At the full moon he will come home." Proverbs 7:19-20
Once the adulteress has caught the fool in the trap of his own ungodly sexual desires - she then informs him of his soon-to-be-committed adultery. At this point, the man is so entrapped, that he is no longer considering sin - but the ability to not get caught. She says to him that her husband is not at home - but is gone on a long journey. Evidently her marriage means nothing to her. Long gone are the words of her covenant to God - or any real love for her husband. Instead she is interested in her next sexual escapade or conquest. Her words betray her husband - and also betray that she cares nothing for her own spiritual condition, or that of her sexual prey. Her focus is on neither of them getting caught - in this world. In verse 19 she even knows the approximate time he is coming home. Therefore she can sin unfettered until that time. She even uses her treachery to lure the fool in closer. She is utterly blind to the fact that God sees all this - and they are caught - NOW! Think for a moment of David. He thought no one saw him lusting for Bathsheba on his rooftop. He thought that only a few knew of her coming to his chambers - and none of them actually knew if they committed adultery. Then, when she became pregnant, he thought that no one knew of his treachery of bringing Uriah from the midst of a battle to cover his tracks. When that did not work, he thought only a few knew of his plan to kill Uriah - and try to legitimize his adultery by marrying his widow after murdering him with an enemy army. But the fact was David was caught the moment he sinned in his heart. It was along the way that more people knew - and if you understand the nature of gossip - far more knew than he thought. Covering our sin does not work. David said after his sin that he who covers his sins will not prosper. He spoke of how he suffered when he hid his sin - how the work of the Holy Spirit convicting him and sapping his very strength as he tried to keep things hidden was strong. Sin will try to deceive us of its very existance in our lives. It will tell us that we have NOT sinned. It will tell us that we are FINE. But all along the way are lies. The wise man is the one who knows that trying to hide sin is the most foolish act in which a person can engage. God is omniscient and sovereign - that is absolute fact. This means that there is nothing we can hide from Him - even for a second. It also means that all our attempts to maintain our sin are superceded by His sovereignty. Man may plan his steps - but God ordains his way. While that does not mean that God makes us sin - it does mean that His discipline WILL prevail when we do - no matter what we think we are doing to stop it. "Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses. Proverbs 7:18
As we continue our look at overcoming sexual temptation, we come to the direct statement of the harlot. We need to look at this statement to see the deception and the encouragement of sin in it. She makes the fool an offer of sex - but the way she states it is having his fill of love until the morning. The word she uses for love here is the one that is usually used in the Hebrew for "lover." But what she offers is not love in the truest sense. She offers a fullness of love - at least until the morning. She offers fullness of love - at least until her husband gets home - or she finds someone else to be her sexual dupe. But all the fool hears is that he has a lover for the evening. That is the problem with sexual temptation - it offers an immediate pleasure - but says nothing of the long-term cost. Sexual tempation (and actually any temptation for that matter) always focuses on immediate gratification. Our flesh wants immediate gratification - and calls out for it every day we live. But immediate gratification may leave a wake of incredible destruction. Therefore, the more we allow oursevles to be deceived into thinking there are no consequences for our actions - the more likely we are going to fall for the lies being fed to us. The adulteress says that a night of wonderful love-making awaits us. But let's be perfectly honest about this. That promise is for about 10 to 15 minutes. Drinking our fill of love until morning is a euphamism for little more than 30 minutes of our time. The destruction had in that brief period of time - lasts far longer - and I would submit the pain involved is far worse than the intensity of the pleasure promised. I've walked with people through divorce proceedings that last months. I've walked with men who made this fatal mistake - and even years later they were still paying a price when their wives struggled with trusting them when they were late from work. But sin never talks to us in these terms - sin only speaks of the "now" moment of pleasure. Wisdom considers the moments after - the days after - the months and years after. Delighting oursevles with caresses is another call to live for our flesh, and the adulteress uses it craftily. The word "delight" here is interesting. It means to rejoice in something - finding pleasure in it - and delighting in pleasure by expressing that pleasure above all other things. What is interesting about this word is that the Bible uses it of the pleasure that is found in the sexual relationship in marriage. God actually blesses this delight in pleasure - but He does so with the boundaries of marriage fully in place. We read in multiple places in the Bible that God fully desires for us to experience the joy of married sexual love. God did not give us sexual organs, desires, and the ability to feel pleasure only to forbid it. But He knows that when we do so outside the bounds of a committed marriage relationship, it will turn destructive. Just delighting ourselves with caresses can lead to the idea of multiple sexual partners - which we know leads to sexually transmitted diseases. It leads to a shallow love based on physical attraction and physical pleasure alone. In its more perverted forms - this leads to homosexualtiy - and in its worst forms to things like incest and rape. Living for the physical pleasure of anything alone will lead to a complete abandonment of wisdom. Sins like gluttony, drunkenness, and drug abuse are all ways that we start with a desire for the physical pleasure of something alone. They all end in a bondage to sin that is very difficult to break. The call to sexual temptation is a call to live for our flesh - and for a rejoicing in pleasure alone. It does not think at all beyond the moment - and misses altogether the bondage that awaits in the future. The fool does not think ahead - he only thinks of now. He wants his pleasure now and is deaf to any consequences that await him. The way to defeat sexual temptation is to use something other than your physical organs to make your decisions. It is to use God's Word as wisdom guiding your mind as you encounter various things - various people in life. That way you do not wind up a slave to your senses. Biblically Romans 6 reminds us that in life we are going to be either a slave to sin or a slave to righteousness. Sin will destroy us. The wise man submits himself to God - to His Word - and to a life that promises pleasure and blessing beyond the next 30 minutes. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
Archives
August 2018
Copyright 2024 Calvary Chapel Jonesboro | all rights reserved |