 Proverbs 28:28 When the wicked rise, men hide themselves; But when they perish, the righteous increase.
Here is a proverb dealing with what happens when the wicked come to positions of public power and influence. Such was the case when wicked king Ahab and his equally horrible wife, Jezebel ruled over Israel. Just as this proverb states, men began to hide themselves. This was especially the case with godly men. They knew that under Ahab and Jezebel's rule godliness would not be tolerated. Thus the prophets of God hid in caves. It seemed that only Elijah was speaking out - and he eventually ran from the death threats of Jezebel and hid too. It is difficult to speak out in such an environment - as honestly - many of us already know. Let's take a closer look at the "wicked" mentioned in this proverb. The word used here is "rasa' which means someone who is wicked, guilty, criminal and a transgressor of God's Law. Let's take a closer look at each aspect of this definition. First off let's be honest about this word, "wicked." It is a word that we don't care for - especially if it is used to describe us or those with whom we agree. The word usually refers to those who are disobeying God's laws - or who are opposing God by their actions. This is why the "righteous" hide from them. The righteous are those who follow a moral and ethical path in agreement with God and His Law. So we learn that the wickedness of these who rise up is defined by how they view God's Law - and submission to God's way. The truth spoken here though is that while these wicked men rise up and take their stand, the righteous will hide themselves. In any society where ungodly choices are exalted - even enshrined into law - godliness and righteousness will have to go into hiding. The sexual revolution in our nation has both exalted and now enshrined into law behavior that has perverted the sexuality God originally gave to us. As this turning away from God's plan continues (in the political realm as well as the realms of news, entertainment, and education) those who hold to what God calls right hide themselves more and more. We see this in the contentious debate in our culture - and especially in online discourse. It is difficult to write or speak what God calls sin and what He calls righteous, because to do so will yield almost instant censure from a majority culture who no longer views the sexuality taught in the Scriptures as right or relevant. We may try to speak out or write - but soon the general condemnation of such views relegates us to silence (at least in any social media format). So what are we to do if (or in our current situation - when or as) this happens? First of all we need to realize that a more public discourse on biblical righteousness will become increasingly difficult. Another part of this will be that fewer and fewer will be willing to even speak out publicly. As the proverb states, such a situation will cause the righteous to hide themselves. But we do not have to completely abandon God's law - nor should we. The second thing we will need to realize is the value of more private, one on one conversations. Build honest and real friendships with those who disagree with you - and then share the truth with your friends over time. It would be wise to follow Scriptural guidelines in doing this. We are told to "speak the truth in love," as well as to speak with "gentleness and respect" toward those who listen to what we have to say. There is also a third thing I'd like to suggest - and I imagine it may cause some who are conservative Christians to cringe a little. Be careful that your conversations come from a loving gospel motivation - and move toward a gracious gospel presentation. It is too easy to find ourselves locked into very contentious political conversations in such days. That is one problem the early believers really did not have , as they lived under king/caesar/dictatorship rule rather than a representative republic. Yet, regardless of what system of government we find ourselves under, we should remember that we are to be "gospel-people" first - and political-folk second. I can possibly win an argument for my political view and yet seriously lose the honor of gaining a hearing for the gospel . It is true that as the wicked rise - the righteous will want to hide themselves. It is also true that when they perish - the righteous will increase. We've live in times when the majority culture was far more in agreement with biblical morals - at least in reference to sexuality. But the "facts on the ground" now are that our culture is not moving that was presently. That will mean less public support for morals and ethics based out of Scripture. It also means though that those of us who still desire to give a reason for the hope that is in us - will have ample opportunity to do so. We need to embrace this role - even if it means we, at times, have to engage in "hide and speak" as we do so.
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 Proverbs 11:22 As a ring of gold in a swine's snout so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.
True Beauty is something that goes beyond the mere outward appearance of a person. The wise man realizes this and sees through a person with outward beauty who inwardly is very ugly to behold. To help with this task, God gives us a picture that is both a little bit funny as well is so graphic that we will not soon forget it. We are first given the picture of a beautiful ring of gold. This was an ornament that was highly sought after in biblical times. It was considered a sign of beauty to have a ring of gold in a woman’s nose. If you want to debate that - you only need to turn to Genesis 24:47 where the servant of Abraham met Rebekah, as he sought a wife for Issac his son. When he saw her and learned that she was the one God had chosen for Issac, he responded by putting gold bracelets on her wrists and a gold ring in her nose. These were considered objects of beautification. But as we look at this object of beautification we see that is it firmly ensconced in the snout of a swine. If one is honest about things, he would have to admit that a ring of gold is not going to beautify a swine. There is no pig or hog that we are going to consider beautiful simply because we give him a gold ring in his nose. It is still a pig. The ring is still a thing of beauty, but its location on a swine ruins the object of beauty completely. The pig is no more desirable than before and now the ring of gold has been devalued. God uses this picture to put a certain response into our minds. It doesn’t matter how pretty that ring is, it’s gross when it is in a pig’s snout! Now God is ready for His comparison. God’s second picture begins with a beautiful woman. The word beautiful simply means something lovely. It was used of Sarah, Tamar, and Esther to speak of a beauty so great that others saw these women and desired them. Theirs was a striking beauty that set them apart from other women. So God speaks of this strikingly beautiful woman whose beauty should be desirable, except for one problem. She lacks discretion. When used in this kind of context, the Hebrew word for discretion speaks of someone who lacks moral or sexual discretion. To put it bluntly - this is a sexually immoral woman. To some who are unwise, this would be even better. She’s gorgeous and she’s easy. But we need to remember that when God speaks in proverbs - there is a direct comparison. What is it that we should see then? If a woman is very good looking yet sexually immoral, she is about as pretty as a pig with a gold ring in its snout. The point God wants to get across is that she’s ugly! Doesn’t matter how “hot” she looks - if she’s immoral, she’s ugly! Things get worse when you begin to get the comparison. The swine in this picture is the immorality - it is what should gain the most notoriety in our mind’s eye. The beautiful woman . . . she’s just a ring of gold hanging from the swine’s snout. Her beauty is ruined by her lack of discretion when it comes to an understanding of sex. God is wanting us to get the picture! There is rarely a time when I am not working on this with young men in a discipling situation. Because our culture is completely insane when it comes to sexual matters, one of the greatest threats to their spiritual growth is the problem of the lust of the eyes. Our culture throws beautiful women at us like a group of athletic boys trying to get the last kid out in a dodge ball game. Therefore, I make my guys memorize this verse of Scripture. As we learn it though, I take the liberty of describing exactly what a ring of gold would look like on the average fattened sow in the barnyard. A huge sow is not a pretty sight by itself - but I focus on the ring of gold run through its snout. I won’t go any further than to say I’ve had guys almost gagging by the time I got done with my description. Do I do this just to be gross and be one of the guys? Absolutely not! I do it for the same reason that Solomon did it for those he wrote to in this part of Proverbs. They need to have an instant thought come to their mind when they see a beautiful woman who is immoral in her behavior. This image needs to come to mind when the thought arises to look at a pornographic image - when they are tempted by a skimpily clad woman in a commercial - when they face the choice to see a movie or TV show where a female character is beautiful outwardly, but who is nothing more than a swine with a gold ring in its snout. That gross picture I described to them - is what I want coming into their minds as a direct comparison to the beautiful discretion-less woman. My hope is that rather than lust after her and enter into sin, they will see the swine, be grossed out, and choose righteousness instead. My hope is that they will remember that they have made a covenant with their eyes. My hope is that they will remember that God has not created us for the purpose of sexual immorality but in sanctification. My hope is that they will not be caught by a piece of fruit that looks good to their eyes - is desirable to them - but will only yield death. Pictures do interesting things for us. In this one God hopes to help men, young and old, see beauty is not merely an outward attribute. True beauty is when a woman fears God and dresses and lives chaste. So guys - hope I’ve ruined you for any woman except that one God has chosen for you. That was my purpose in the first place. Just needed an indelible picture burned on the retina of your hearts. God’s picture will do just fine . . . and you’re welcome! Proverbs 7:1 My son, keep my words And treasure my commandments within you.
The seventh chapter of Proverbs is also known among the Hebrews as the 15th Lesson of Solomon. Here we find Solomon offering wisdom to his son concerning women who would try to seduce him. He also explains to his son in graphic detail the stupidity of the young man who falls prey to her seduction. What we learn from Solomon’s example is that fathers need to teach their sons about the dangers of being seduced by women. Most dads shrink from this responsibility – especially when put in the straightforward language used here in Scripture. This is to the detriment of their sons – and the ability and wisdom they need to fend off such women. It is also to their sons’ demise that they do not warn of how, what I will call, “sudden sexual stupidity syndrome” can strike if they are not careful and wise. That syndrome strikes when men of any age, in the throes of temptation, shut their minds off – listen solely to their sexual desires – and act with incredible stupidity to gratify their desires by engaging in sexual immorality. Before we are finished reading the seventh chapter of Proverbs we will be somewhat shocked at the graphic way the wiles of the sexual seductress are described. The Bible is not prudish when telling us how an immoral woman uses her words and her promises to lure naïve, unwise young men into an evening of sexual immorality. But at the beginning a reminder is given to the young man that we would be wise to remember as well. It is good for us to be reminded that this battle is not going to be won through the use of strategies and methods of the world. What this young man is told to do is what everyone will need to do if they are to win this battle. Keep my words! That is the first point of wisdom. The word “keep” here we’ve seen several times by now in Proverbs. It means to watch over, guard, and be careful about something. Here it refers to what the father is saying to his son. Dads! Do you hear this! You MUST talk to your sons about these things! If nothing else – read the seventh chapter of Proverbs with them. Sexual morality is not something natural to fallen mankind – especially among young men! Our culture has abandoned all biblical wisdom in this regard. Therefore – DAD, SPEAK UP! Your sons won’t have any wise ammunition with which to fight if you are withholding it from them by remaining silent. The book of Proverbs deals with this same issue in chapters 2, 5, 6, and 7 with long discourses by a father to his son. We also have multiple individuals like David, Amon, Solomon, and Samson from whom we can learn the dangers of stepping outside of God’s boundaries for sex. Dads, you certainly don’t lack material – so step up and protect your children – especially your sons! Treasure my commandments within you! That is the second point of wisdom given to the son. Here we need to remember that the commandments are not ours – but God’s. Teach your sons the Word of God. Teach them by example – as you memorize and treasure up Scripture within your own heart. Take the time to search out specific passages you and your sons can learn to fight sexual sin. I’ve put a small list of them at the bottom of this post if you need a place to start. The reason to do this is because God has a promise for those who treasure His Word in this fight. Psalm 119:9-11 instructs us as follows, “How can a young man keep his way pure, but keeping it according to Your Word. With all my heart I have sought You, do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your Word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.” This cannot get any clearer! God specifically says this is for young men wanting to keep their way pure. The way is to watch over your life with the Word of God as your guide for acceptable sexual behavior. Then there is an example. Oh dads, follow this and show it to your sons in your life! It is the example of a man praying he would seek God with all his heart. It is an example of a man requesting God’s help in not wandering away from God’s commandments. Finally, we are told that when we treasure God’s Word within us (which is the same thing said in Proverbs 7) – we will NOT sin against God! One thing to note here is that the word “treasure” means much more than just memorizing something. I had to memorize the Gettysburg Address when I was in school – but I can promise you I did not treasure it. To treasure the Word in our hearts is to value it highly and to consider it riches and great wealth to us! I treasure words that my wife has spoken to me because they remind me of her love. I treasure the words of my children because they remind me of how very dear they are to me. I treasure God’s Word in my heart because He has spoken; He has promised; He has given love to me that lasts forever. Finally, I treasure the Word also because it is my sword in fighting the enemy in my mind and winning the battle against sexual temptation and sin. If ever there needed to be a clarion call to fathers – it would need to be the call to step up and give your son both your word – and God’s Word in fighting sexual sin. Our delinquency on this has led to losing many in this generation to the standards of the world. We see it every day – and as dads we face the same kind of temptations every day. Don’t leave your sons to fight this battle alone! Don’t leave them to enter battle defenseless – absent of any weapons mighty through God to fight this fight! Talk to your sons whether they are boys or even if they are fully grown and gone from your home. Earn that right through treasuring the Scripture in your own heart and fighting the good fight before them. Then speak to them. Have your own moment when as a battle-hardened veteran and commander – you issue your “Be a Man” speech to them. I’m not referring to a “Braveheart” kind of speech – but more of a “Second-hand Lions” kind of speech. The kind where we tell our sons how to live – because we tell them Who and what is worth living for! Being a slave to sexual sin and our fickle desires – that is not living. Experiencing God’s victory over them and then loving one woman well to the glory of God – that men is living! Loving her and also loving the children than come from your union . . . that, my brothers – is worth living for! Proverbs 5:7 Now then, my sons, listen to me And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Wisdom is something that should passionately be spoken to our sons. It is something they should hear from us with a sense of urgency and importance that should ring from what we say to them. If we do not speak with this kind of passion we may have our children go the way that the sons-in-law of Lot went. We read in Genesis of this sad event in Genesis 19:14, "Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were to marry his daughters, and said, 'Up, get out of this place, for the LORD will destroy the city.' But he appeared to his sons-in-law to be jesting." Unfortunately for Lot - a passionate plea too late seems like little more than a bad joke. The lack of passion concerning the immorality and ungodliness of the people was palpable. He rarely spoke out, though his righteous soul was tormented by their behavior. But Lot decided not to speak too stridently about sin in his day. The result of his lack of conviction about the sin that ran rampant in his town was that no one took him seriously when he came with a warning about God's judgment. He never seemed too disturbed about the sin before - so maybe he was overreacting to the situation at hand. In the end the men who would have been his daughter's husbands laughed him off - and were destroyed when the fire and brimstone fell from heaven. This is why we need to speak with the passion of this father. When he says, "listen" he uses the word that speaks of listening to obey. He wants his words regarded, heard, and followed. When he says, "do not depart" he uses language that is strong. The idea behind this admonition is like a military leader urging his troops to not desert him or quit fighting. Strong words are employed by this father to call his sons away from sexual immorality. Do we use words this strong when speaking with our sons on such issues? Do we use any words? Do we even speak with them about such things? Our sons need us! We live in a day of loose morals and lying promises. The morals of our day are loose because our nation has abandoned the words of the Lord. Schools forbid us from speaking such things to students. In the places where an abstinence message is allowed - a Scriptural one is forbidden. It seems almost insane to keep such a message from our young ones considering that over 40 different incurable sexually transmitted diseases run rampant in our society. But the real danger, according to our lawmakers, is that someone might harm them by speaking a religious message to them. What is allowed more and more is the lying promises of our society. Safe sex is promoted - with the thought that they are going to be sexually immoral anyway. The problem is that the so-called safe sex message relies primarily on condoms - which have a 1 in 6 failure rate. Their message of safety is about as effective as playing Russian roulette with a six-shooter. Come on - there's only one chance in six someone is going to blow their brains out! Keep your morality off of our pistol! We'd consider such talk sheer insanity if it were uttered to our kids about playing Russian roulette. But for those who offer the same message with an incurable sexually transmitted disease - well, that's open thinking and progressive education. Honestly . . . sounds like a gathering of idiots to me. Dad's - this was NEVER to be a matter handed over to school and governmental officials. Sex education and far more importantly sexual morality was and still is to be taught by a father to his son. That way we cannot only teach them about their sexuality as a gift from God. We can also let them know of the perversion of it by the Fall - and the dangers that come from ignoring the Word of God. Proverbs 5:19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.
In talking about moral sanity we come to a passage that almost makes you a little uncomfortable while reading it, yet it is the very essence of moral and sexual sanity itself! In commenting on this verse I want to take a moment to speak against the moral and sexual insanity that reigns in our society today. It is a sad thing that we read verse 19 and get a little uncomfortable. The joys of married love and sexual union are one of the wonderful gifts that God gave us when He made our bodies as He did - and introduced us to marriage at the very foundation of this world. There is a purity in what is said here - not impurity. There is a very real joy that we should have in experiencing sexual union with the wife of our youth. Unfortunately sin has so skewed things in our minds that we squirm a little when God paints a somewhat vivid picture of the truth. God desires for a man to enjoy his wife. He tells us here that her breasts should be the ones that satisfy us at all times. The world though has so twisted our minds and hearts that we struggle with reading this - even though all the world around us is doing all they can to capture our attention with the breasts of women other than our wives. There is the perversion - focusing on the beauty of a woman who is NOT your wife. Television, movies, magazines, and the internet are being used to draw our attention to other women. I see pretty much every day when I go to check my email that the most popular searches on the internet tend toward women whose beauty is being exploited to draw men into the trap of desiring a woman other than their wife. This is the deception of the world - and it is used daily to draw us away from the Lord. That is why I get so frustrated when believers don't want us to read or comment on passages of Scripture that promote healthy biblical sexuality. It is not that we want to start a sexual round-table by doing this - but it does put the real and the true before us. We want to be wise in discussing and commenting on such passages - not turning to gutter language and sexually explicit comments. But the Bible is very clear in what it is saying here. The second part of this admonition from father to son is that the son be intoxicated by the love of his wife. Usually the New American Standard does a wonderful job of directly translating such things, but my how weak they are on this verse. Exhilarated is NOT what the dad is saying to his son. He is telling him to be utterly intoxicated with the sexual love of his wife. There are not many things God says we should be drunk on - but when it comes to the love of our wife - God says to drink up all the love we can. That is the essence of sexual sanity dear friends. God wants us to enjoy our sexuality in marriage. He has written an entire book, The Song of Solomon, to exult in the sexual love enjoyed in marriage. He instructs us in that book - as well as in this passage - that it is a good thing to enjoy sexual union and lovemaking with our wife. It is one of the reasons why he gave us a wife and set up marriage the way He did. That is why it is so important that as fathers we have such a talk with our sons. We can guide them away from the raging rapids of sexual immorality - and toward the safe waters of sex within marriage. If we do not tell them - I can promise you the world will warp their minds with tales of sexual exploits that are nothing more than the deception of whoremongers and fools. Proverbs 5:1 My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding;
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears." This was the way Shakespeare began the speech of Mark Antony in Julius Caesar. It was a cry for people to listen and to pay close attention because something very important was going to be said. Proverbs has its own soliloquies as well - but they come from the mouths of mothers and fathers to their sons and daughters. This is how the father begins his speech to his son - by calling him to listen and to pay close attention to what he is going to say. Give attention, pay heed, pay attention, listen is what the father is saying to his son. But he is not calling him to attention to just anything - he is calling his attention to the wisdom that the father shares with him. Wisdom is the familiar word "chokmah" in the Hebrew meaning, which means not just seeing or knowing things from God's perspective - but having a skill and experience in using this wisdom to make moral and practical decisions. We are not to turn the education and en-wisening of our children over to others. That is what western culture has done too often. We turn our kids over to the school - even to their Sunday school teachers and youth leaders. Let them teach our children wisdom - that's what they're for right? WRONG! They are there to only add to and embellish the core teachings that should have come from us. When we do not do our jobs as parents - believe me - no one else can make up for it. The father calls his son to bend his ear close when he speaks and when he instructs. "Incline your ear" is like Shakespeare's, "Lend me your ears," comment. It is saying to the son that he needs to stretch out his ears - bend them toward what the father is saying. He is to extend and lean his ears to what is being said - but even more to that - to understand his father's words and see how they apply to all of life! We talk about how the younger generation is leaving the church. They are leaving because they see very little relevance to their lives from what is being taught. They see the Bible as stories told to them when they were little - as an antiquated book that no longer applies to today's world. Why? Because they did not hear from dad - nor see in dad a daily pursuit of the truth - as well as a daily understanding of how that truth applies to making decisions in the everyday life that he leads. Of course they are going to think it is of little value. Oh, but when a father teaches his children these things - calls them to listen and bend their ear close as he instructs them. When dad reveals to them a life lived from the perspective of God and of Scripture - that - dear brothers and sisters is a life that will call a son to follow. That child will value what he has heard and SEEN in his father. He will listen because he has SEEN how important this book - the Bible - is to how his father lives. That, my brothers is how we recapture this generation. We do so by living according to God's wisdom - then calling our sons to listen as we recount time after time when that wisdom guided us through the minefields of life. What is the particular "minefield" that the father is so intent on teaching to his son? It is the minefield of sexual immorality. He is talking to his son about women - actually about a certain kind of woman - the immoral one. He is also sharing much wisdom with his son about the battle that will ensue when he deals with women like this. He does not hide such things from his son - he teaches them honestly and very straightforwardly. This is not something that is relegated to the sex ed teacher - it is something the father teaches his son. I'm about to say some things that will probably offend some - while at the same time making others shout for joy that someone is saying them out loud. Sex education was meant to be taught at home and in the church. Never was this meant to be a topic brought up without very clear moral underpinnings. If you look at the first 9 chapters of Proverbs you will see that this issue was raised BY THE FATHER to the son several times. God intended for a godly father to teach his son about sex - and about the pitfalls of being a fallen male in this world. The Bible is not squeamish on the matter of sexuality. It faces it head on - sharing general teaching, instruction, warnings, as well as cautionary historical examples of sexuality running wild and causing great destruction. I've long held that if the whole Bible was ever to be put on film - it would carry at least an R rating. The perils of heterosexual sin, homosexuality, and perversion are not hidden from us. They are displayed in such a way that we see their destructive power and desire to avoid them. Dad, are you teaching your son these things? Have you sat down and taught him about his sexuality - with a proper moral foundation underneath so that his sexuality does not run rampant and destroy relationships and possibly even his health and welfare? Because the church has not stepped out in front on such issues - and because fathers have not taught their sons and instructed them in how to wisely deal with their sexuality - the world has taken over. The result is sexuality taught without biblical morality. How's that working for us so far? Have we brought about a safer, wiser, more responsible sexuality among our children and youth? It has been a disaster because teaching sexuality without morality has led to a sex-crazed society that has cheapened sex and made it accessible and acceptable in every situation. Dads . . . YOU are responsible for how your son and daughter views sexuality. If you do not teach them the truth - they most likely will not know it. The television and movies will not tell them about such things within a biblical context. Magazines and books won't do it either. They will promote the perversions of sex passed on by our society and those who view sex as an anything goes activity - just so long as you use protection. Fathers! Nothing will protect your child from the dangers of unbiblical sex. There is not a condom or a safety device made that protects the heart and the spirit from the devastation and destructive power of sin. May God grant us a revival among fathers - that we will call our children to listen - and we will talk to them frankly and honestly about their sexuality. May we also give them a godly, biblical framework in which to enjoy their sexuality as God intended. If we do not talk to them and teach them - I can promise you others will who have no intention of offering them the greatest protection we can have in sex - the wisdom of God. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18
A call to moral sanity will always involve a call to rejoice in marriage. In studying to comment on this passage I noticed an interesting dichotomy among commentators. Many shied away from speaking of sexual love in marriage when referring to things in this passage. They wanted to make all the allusions and word pictures within it refer to children instead. I found this a little sad, because between this passage and the entire book of Song of Solomon, God does not even remotely shy away from the subject of the joys of physical intimacy within marriage. In the past too many in the church felt to speak of such things was dirty or out of bounds. But in donig so we relegated the idea of physical pleasure in sex to those who engaged in it outside the bounds of marriage. Now I am not advocating that we go into explicit detail about such things, because God has informed us in Hebrews that we are to keep the marriage bed holy, but I am saying that where God's Word addresses such things, we should not be afraid to address them as well. What we are encouraged to do here in this passage is to rejoice in the wife of our youth. We are told that to enjoy physical intimacy with our wife is to allow our fountain to be blessed. The fountain here is a picture of a life-giving source - and the blessed result of sexual intimacy within marriage is that children are produced - which continues the cycle of life. But God is not just speaking of having a child - He is speaking of the process of intimacy which is enjoyed within the sexual union of a married couple. He says that this should be a time when we are blessed. That means God, who made us sexual beings - and who also designed our sexual organs - knew that this was going to be an enjoyable act. He commands us here, through the father speaking to His son, that we should rejoice in the wife of our youth. It is clear that what is said in the following verses refers to love-making between a husband and wife. God wants that to be enjoyable. Please remember though the context of this passage. This is a father instructing his son about the dangers of sexual immorality and warning him to stay away from adultery and from fornication. It is wonderful to see that in the midst of a talk on moral sanity that a father would tell his son that God's intent for sex is that it be thoroughly enjoyed within the framework of biblical marriage. This is sexual sanity - and it is ignored only to the detriment and hurt of those who do so. But for those who grasp God's view of sex - who see it as God intended for it to be enjoyed - this talk between father and son is wonderfully liberating. It lets us know that God did create sex - and He created the biological reality that sex is very pleasurable. But it tells us such things within the context of God's intent for sexual union. And that can ONLY be blessed within the bonds of marriage. Within that union there is no guilt, no STD's, no prospect of illegitimacy, and no sense of sin. But when we get outside the boundaries which God has set for sexual intimacy, such things abound. That is why it is so vital that we speak with our sons and daughters of such things - because to leave those topics to others is only to surrender them to the sexual insanity that now rules the greater part of mankind. Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways. For a harlot is a deep pit And an adulterous woman is a narrow well. Surely she lurks as a robber, And increases the faithless among men. Proverbs 23:26-28
Why should a man ask for the hearts of his children - especially the hearts of his sons? That is a good question because in our day we are told that our children need to think for themselves - which is true. The problem comes when that statement is made meaning that they should throw off the beliefs and morals of their parents and adopt the foolish morals of society itself. That is not wisdom but the height of foolishness. From what is said here by the Lord in verses 26-28 we will see why this is such a bad thing for the sons of a society to do. The plea of the father is simple - he wants to have his son's heart. He asks for it very plainly - and restates his request so that we understand that for which he asks. He wants his son to delight in his ways. The request is that his son sets or places his heart in the hands of his father. The restatement of that request lets us see that the father desires for his son to adopt and take up his ways. But this is not a request for the son to grudgingly take up his father's ways - but rather that the son would "delight" in them. "Ratsah" is delight and it means to accept something favorably - to be pleased with it. The father desires for his son to enjoy and favor the ways that he teaches him. This is nothing more than passing to our son the same way we live - to pass our morals and our beliefs to them. And we will see in the very next verse why this is important. Whose job is it to pass to the next generation the things of God and the ways of the Lord? It is the job of the father to do this - and if the father does not take this task seriously - the problems of this passage will riase their ugly head in any society. When a son does not delight in the godly ways of a godly father, what results is that the desires of his lower nature take over and head in a hell-ward direction. One of the first things that will show itself is the lusts of his flesh. Granted this is a two way street - for the one he is warned of is the harlot - the immoral woman. The truth is that without the influence of godly fathers, the daughters also turn away from the things of the Lord - and find that their fallen nature takes over in their choices as well. The son is warned that the harlot is a deep pit. In Proverbs 22:14 this deep pit is identified as the mouth and voice of the harlot and the prostitute. She lures one in with her words and with her enticing promises of sex that is beyond that which marital life can offer. The fool is the one who listens to her - draws near - and then falls into this deep pit. And for what reason is a deep pit dug other than to lure the unsuspecting animal near for the capture and the kill. The end of the matter is death and destruction. One finds himself lying broken in the bottom of the pit with no way out. so also is the adulterous one - who begins thinking only of pleasure and ends knowing nothing but guilt and destruction. The "adulterous" woman here is actually the "strange" or "foreign" woman. God warned against these women because of how they would tempt His people to leave Him and worship their foreign gods instead. Interesting is the fact that the vast majority of this alien worship involved sexual immorality and the abandonment of the marriage vow and the defilement of the marriage bed. This foreign or strange woman is described as a "narrow well." The word here for well is "beer" and it can mean either a well of refreshing water - or a narrow pit that only offers entrapment and misery. What I find fascinating about the use of this word is that God encourages us elsewhere in Proverbs to "drink water from your own well," in reference to the sexual relationship in marriage. But when we abandon our "own well," and go out into the streets seeking illicit sexual affairs - we move from our own well to a narrow pit that holds no water - but rather holds us in our sin and disgrace as the illicit sexual activity destroys our families and our marriages. While the foreign woman promises incredible sexual ecstacies to the fool she seeks to entice, the truth is that she is lurking like a predator, ready to pounce upon her unsuspecting prey. Just like the male black widow spider is lured to mate with the female - not realizing that she will destroy and consume him when the act is done - so the fool strolls into the den of the whore not fully seeing that this is not a pleasure den, but a robber's lure. Still, he comes, thinking that this is all about pleasure, when he is about to experience the trigger of the trap that will enslave him. He is about to have stolen from him all that he will truly treasure. This robber is waiting to add to her own lair of prey. She desires to increase the "faithless among men." This faithlessness is called "treachery" in the Old Testament. There is a word we don't seem to use as much any longer. This word means to act as a traitor and to betray someone. Here it refers to those who are married and their treachery toward their wives and toward the Lord before Whom they entered into their marriage vows. How many marriages have been destroyed simply because a man did not remember his vows before God - instead choosing to listen to the lies of his own flesh and the tantalizing lies of a strange woman. Oh, fathers, how we need to do two very valuable things in life. First, how we need to treasure our wives. We need first to SHOW the way to our sons by how we treat our wives and cling to them. You cannot have instruction without example - and in this situation how the world needs the example of godly fathers cherishing their wives in front of their children. Second, we need to have a generation of fathers who desperately want their son's hearts. We need to call to them to cherish the father-son relationship as a place where they can receive wisdom and instruction and warning. We need to love them and delight in them so that they continue to give their hearts to us. Then, when we have that marvelous gift of their hearts, we need to use that trust to teach them the things of the Lord - urging them to a lifestyle and to choices that will bless them for generations. Among these teachings is desperately needed a call to watch their own hearts - covet the strength of their own marriages - and to protect the purity of their marriage covenants before God. |
 Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. 
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