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Adultery is Always Stupid, part 5 - How Much for Your Wife's Purity? - Proverbs 6:35

5/13/2011

He will not accept any ransom, Nor will he be satisfied though you give many gifts. Proverbs 6:35

Adultery is always stupid. There is no amount of money or ransom that a man will accept for the love and purity of his wife. God gave us marriage and is the very essence of love - and bequeathed to us the gift of loving someone else. One of the most wonderful expressions of His love is seen when a man and woman commit to one another in marriage. That picture is used in Ephesians 5 to show the love of Christ for His church. The love that exists in marriage is supposed to be very strong - and thus breaking it is not something that can be paid back by any amount of money.

We read in Song of Solomon 8:6-7 these words that will help us understand why there is no ransom for adultery. "Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD. Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it; If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, It would be utterly despised." Love is as strong as death - that is why often a divorce is described as being as devastating as a death in a family. Love is as powerful as death, jealousy is like death, and again is described as like "flashes of fire" and "the very flame of Jehovah." These are not light, fluffy passing descriptions. They are powerful and honestly, frightening! When you choose to love someone and commit to them for life in marriage, this is the power that is released. That is why no ransom will be accepted for adultery - no gift will seem appropriate. We read in Song of Solomon that if a man were to give all the riches of his house for love - the one offered the money would utterly despise the offer. Love is more powerful than ANY amount of money ever offered.

Unfortunately, a movie I know of but have not seen, illustrates our point. The move was called, "Indecent Proposal." I would NOT encourage anyone to see it - so I will describe what I've read about it. In the movie a young couple are given an indecent proposal by a rich man to pay them $1,000,000 for the wife to commit adultery once with him. After weighing what they could do with that much money, they unwisely agree to this indecent proposal. The wife commits adultery and they are paid the money. But the film examines the carnage that follows as, you guessed it, jealousy begins enraging this man over what has happened. Just like it says in Song of Solomon - no amount of money is worth love. Any amount is utterly despised. The man comes to realize too late that the purity and sanctity of their relationship is not worth any sum of money - not even a million dollars. Even a ransom of that enormous amount is something despised and abhorred by a husband and wife. Thus when one partner sins for usually far less, it is a foolish choice indeed that they are making. They are selling out their vows for nothing more than a fleeting promise of forbidden pleasure. What they will pay in the end would make them recoil from such actions. The problem is that "in the moment" they do not think, nor do they reason with any kind of biblical or moral judgment. They destroy themselves and their marriage in a bid for the illusive promise of a night of passionate pleasure. What they most likely do not know is that the indulgence will cost them more than they could ever imagine. This is why, dear saints, Adultery is always stupid.

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Adultery is Always Stupid, part 4 - Jealousy - Proverbs 6:34

5/12/2011

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For jealousy enrages a man, And he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
Proverbs 6:34

Adultery is always stupid. This is never more clearly seen than in the reality of the reaction of the husband who has learned that his wife has committed adultery with another man. His reaction toward that man is predictable. He reacts with jealousy - in fact what is written here is that he reacts with enraged jealousy.

Jealousy, which is referred to in this proverb, is the Hebrew word "qinah." This word means zeal or jealousy. It describes an intense passion and fervor. It describes an emotion that is greater than wrath or anger. Scripture calls this jealousy a rottenness in a man's bones (Prov. 14:30). It is used to speak of a spirit of jealousy that comes upon a man in Numbers 25:11. But the frightening description of this word is that it is used of God's zeal which He has toward his own people - and which He has for accomplishing His own will and purpose. The word is used six different times to speak of the way God's wrath is expressed in judgment. This is a strong word - and is made even stronger by the fact that it is used in connection with the word, "enrages." This word is the Hebrew word "hemah" and it means wrath or heat. It signifies great fury, anger, indignation, poison , or rage. When put together these two words create quite a terrifying description of the emotions that come over a man who learns of an adulterer seeking to destroy his relationship with his wife.

This enraged jealousy moves this man to seek the maximum penalty for adultery. I've watched this in court battles and divorces. The injured party, when given over to this enraged jealousy, wants to make the other person pay everything possible. There is a desire for them to truly pay the highest price possible for their indiscretion. They want a "day of vengeance." That is why adultery is always stupid. It always injures someone - and makes for emotions that rival any in life. The wise man sees this and realizes that no promise of sexual pleasure will ever match the release of rage, anger, and wrath that will come when their deeds become known.

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Adultery is Always Stupid, part 3 - Worse Than Stealing - Proverbs 6:30-31

5/11/2011

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Men do not despise a thief if he steals To satisfy himself when he is hungry; But when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house. Proverbs 6:30-31

Adultery is always stupid. In fact adultery here is being called dumber than stealing. We are offered a comparison between these two sins - and in the end, adultery is considered the worse of the two.

This passage is interesting, because although it does compare stealing and adultery, it does not condone either. The comparison is to how the theif is viewed vs. the view of the adulterer. The thief is actually shown compassion, especially if his stealing is due to being hungry. The passage tells us that a thief is not despised if he steals to satisfy his own hunger. We all understand hunger and the drive to satisfy our appetite when we have not eaten in a while. The thing about this proverb though is that after saying this - we are brought back to justice. If caught though, the thief will have to repay sevenfold for what he has stolen. This is the case even if the thief has to given everything in his house to pay that debt. There is mercy toward his situation - but not mercy toward the actions he took to remedy it.

But the adulterer is by default NOT given the same grace. We all probably know lust as well - but to actually go out and take another man's wife to satisfy it is wickedness. The adultery is also guilty of stealing - stealing the sanctity of another man's marriage. He is stealing another man's wife - taking her affections - and taking from him the vows that were made to him in the sight of God. This is not viewed with a gracious attitude here. Whereas a thief is not despised for his actions to alleviate his hunger - the adultery IS despised for taking another man's wife. If justice falls on the hungry man for his stolen food, how much more will God's justice fall on the adultery for stealing the sacredness of marriage and a home? There is going to be a cost - and that cost is high.

Ask David and Bathsheba what that cost involves. They will tell you that the cost far outweighs the pleasure of the moment. Ask David's family who also paid a high price for the attitude toward marriage and sexuality that was unfortunately passed in that family? Ask Samson if it was worthy his two eyes to commit sexual sin and satisfy his lusts in ungodly ways? Ask the people of Sodom and Gomorrah whether it was worth it to despise God's plan for marriage and go their own way? These are all examples of those who had to pay - and some pay with the very substance of their house. Adultery costs - and to think that we can get around that cost is ignorant. That is why dear saints, "Adultery is always stupid."

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Adultery is Always Stupid, part 2 - The High Cost of Adultery - Proverbs 6:33

5/10/2011

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Wounds and disgrace he will find, And his reproach will not be blotted out.
Proverbs 6:33

Adultery is always stupid. That is the premise we are following in these last verses of Proverbs chapter 6. Here we see that adultery is stupid because it will eventually yield punishment. This refers to a day when adultery was a punishable offense in a nation. In some nations it still is a punishable offense. Where it is, the rates of adultery and divorce are far lower than in nations where marriage is no longer protected by law.

The wounds, disgrace, and reproach that are spoken of here are all due in part to the public punishment that came with adultery in biblical times. A simple review of the laws against adultery help us to see that this was considered a very serious sin. First we have God stating that this particular sin was part of the 10 commandments. "You shall not commit adultery," is found in Exodus 20 where God gives the commandments to Moses. Later in Leviticus 20 we see where God makes it clear that adultery was considered a capital offensein Israel (and in God's sight). "If there is a man who commits adultery with another man's wife, one who commits adultery with his friend's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death." If we were to trace the damage done to not just the marriage but to families and societies through adultery, we might not look at this as too strict.

There used to be a time when adultery was seen as a very disgraceful thing. It was easy to see that what God said here is true. The reproach from being and adultery would not be able to be blotted out. There is a stigma to those who break their marriage vows by having sex with someone who is not their wife. This stigma is natural - and it is only as we have turned from God and from His truth that we have decided to try our best to erase that stigma from our society. Jeremiah's prophecy is filled with rebuke for the adultery that was rampant in the land. In Jeremiah 23:14 we read this prophetic word to God's people, "Also among the prophets of Jerusalem I have seen a horrible thing: The committing of adultery and walking in falsehood; And they strengthen the hands of evildoers, So that no one has turned back from his wickedness. All of them have become to Me like Sodom, And her inhabitants like Gomorrah." This sin, when it was ignored by God's people and by their prophets, would "strengthen the hands of evildoers." When adultery is tolerated by a society and treated as no big deal, we read that no one turns back from their wickedness. We find a soceity where the most basic bonds of relationship break down - and thus any kind of trustworthiness also breaks down with it.

In recent years we've heard a chorus of those who tell us that it does not matter if one of our elected officials has committed adultery and divorced their partner. We view it as part of the normal landscape that this happens, and in so doing, destroy the foundation upon which the home - and thereby society in general is built. The complete lack of character in our elected officials is a testimony to the truth of the Scriptures when it comes to adultery and being faithful to your vows in your marriage. We've watched as again and again that if these men and women won't be faithful to the closest bond and promise that they have made, why would we think that would be faithful to a vow to adhere to and defend the principles in the Constitution?

Some may say that this is too harsh. Jesus Himself forgave the woman who was caught in the very act of adultery. To this I would say a hearty, "Amen!" He did forgive her - and He forgives those who commit adultery today. But our problem is that we've degenerated to a point where we question if adultery should even be classified as sin. We've come to the point where we want to give the forgiveness without also stating the other thing Jesus said that day, "Go and sin no more." We watch as elected officials lie to our faces on televison that they did not have sex with that woman - and then expect the forgiveness and absolution without any repentance and confession. What we should realize is that whether we embrace it or not - adultery is going to cause very serious problems for an individual - and for a society that seeks to sweep it under the proverbial moral rug.

Adultery is always stupid. It always has consequences. It always will involve disgrace and reproach - at least in the eyes of God (and that is what counts in the end). The wise man sets a very clear boundary in his life when it comes to adultery. He not only sets a boundary, but he also sets a reminder that crossing this boundary will result in bad consequences. And since our society no longer sees fit to protect marriage in this way - we will have to do even more on the personal level to have reminders, boundaries, and warnings in our hearts to protect us from it.

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Adultery is Always Stupid

5/9/2011

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The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. Proverbs 6:32

This passage deals with the stupidity of committing adultery, plain and simple. Several years ago Randy Alcorn wrote a book called, "The Purity Principle." In it I felt that Alcorn made a statement that is one for the ages. "Purity is always smart, impurity is always stupid." That is what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell us today in Proverbs. "The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense." This is a very genteel way of saying what Alcorn said. We could restate his principle by saying that faithfulness in marriage is always good, adultery is always stupid.

The actual words used here are the ones that are used often in Proverbs. The one who commits adultery with a woman lacks heart. We are being told that adultery shows that we have a heart problem more than anything else. We've allowed our hearts to be captured by lust and sexual immorality rather than by God. While reading a series of purity prayers I've run into the statement again and again where the puritans asked God to capture their heart so that they would not be satisfied by trifling affections. The heart can be captured in this way - and given to things that are so far less than what God wants to give us. The truth is what He wants to give us in Himself. We settle for so much less and so less fulfilling things than Him. And that is what the fool has done - he has settled for adultery rather than finding in God and in His provision of his wife true fulfillment.

We are also warned in this passage that, ". . . he who would destroy himself does it." The literal Hebrew says that the destruction is in this man's soul. He finds his mind strangely drawn and lied to by the enticements of the adulterous woman. He finds his emotions stimulated by a false love and false promises of intimacy and pleasure. As he foolishly begins to embrace these thoughts and these concepts he also begins to lose the war within his will to continue in God's ways and in God's path. Soon he gives in to the onslaught that is coming toward his soul. He no longer lives out of his spirit - where the Spirit of God would give him strength to resist and overcome temptation - but instead allows himself to be taken over by his body and its lusts. As he does this He submits himself to the adultery - and in so doing he "destroys" himself in the process and the sinful choice. Destroy here is the Hebrew word, "sahat" and it means to spoil, ruin, destroy, pervert, or corrupt. When you look at these ways of translating this word they all fit this passage - and all take place as this man acts foolishly by committing adultery.

For the next several days we will look at the terrible consequences and the wise warnings that God gives us in this area. Remember that this entire conversation is one that takes place between a man and his sons. How wise we would be to have this kind of conversation with our sons as they get older and begin to face the temptations of this present world. How wise we would be to also have these kinds of conversations with our adult sons who are married, as well as with our brothers in Christ with whom we share fellowship in God's church. Since these things are written about so many times in Proverbs - it is a reminder that the wise also warn one another with the very warnings given to us by God.

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Being Kept From the "Flattering" Woman - Proverbs 6:24

2/7/2011

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To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Proverbs 6:24

Why do we need additional light by which to see in life? Why is it that we need to be reproved and disciplined so that we choose life? The answer to these questions and to the reason the Bible spends so much time warning us about sin, is found in the worldview of the Bible when it comes to the basic nature of man. The Bible teaches that man is fallen and sinful. Our basic nature is to turn from God and His ways. If left to ourselves, we will NOT choose life. If left to ourselves, we will by the very evil in our nature, go in a direction that is contrary to God's way. That is why we need the light of God's Word to light our way. That is why we need reproofs and corrections to move us into the path of God's commandments.

Here, after making that clear, the writer of Proverbs then reminds us that one of the ways that we will choose to our detriment, is the way of the evil woman. The word evil here is the Hebrew "ra" which means an active, pernicious evil. This is an evil that cannot rest unless it is acting out evil - and encouraging others to do the same. The woman who is abandoning her vows to her husband - and encouraging other men to do the same - is an evil woman. But unless you are wise, you will not detect her as such. The father who is speaking here warns his son to turn to wisdom and the commandments and reproofs of God, so that he will not be led astray by the smooth tongue of this adulteress. Her smooth tongue is her weapon of choice. She uses it to flatter a man and use his natural tendency toward pride and a bloated ego as a trap. That is why we are warned against her smooth, flattering tongue. And it is also why we need God's commandments to direct us where our egos and our sinful nature will not. Finally, it is why we also need the Word of God to rebuke and reprove us when we begin to make unwise decisions concerning sexuality and the kind of company we keep with the opposite sex.

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Hard Work and Frugality - Lessons from the Ant - Proverbs 6:6-8

2/6/2011

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Go to the ant, O sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, Officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer And gathers her provision in the harvest. Proverbs 6:6-8

Ants are good teachers for us when it comes to avoiding laziness and a lack of discipline in our lives. The father here uses ants to teach his son a lesson about avoiding the sin of laziness.

Having told his son to go to the ant and observe her ways - he says that wisdom is with these little creatures. Their great wisdom is how they work hard without having to be supervised. They have no chief, officer, or ruler watching over all that they do - making them work. The ant knows that there is a time when gathering won't be possible - so he works hard when he can. He also knows to store things up - to prepare for the times when there will be no food.

The lessons for us are numerous. First, we need to have a self-driven work ethic. This is an ability to work hard - even when no one is looking. It means that when we know what to do - we do it. We don't need someone looking over our shoulders - or standing over us making sure that we work hard. We are motivated from within to do that. When I talk to the businessmen in my congregation my heart aches for them. They say that it is so difficult to find people who want to work. They tell me that most of the people they interview have great expectations for what they will be paid and how they will be treated - but almost no work ethic to do what they should do. What is even more sad to me is that they tell me that this is the case whether they are non-christians or christians. That is an indictment that we should not have laid at the feet of the church. We should have a work ethic driven by a desire to honor God.

The second lesson is also important for us to grasp. We need to be wise in how we deal with our money - setting aside funds for times when things are lean. History warns us that these time will come. Over and over again there have been lean times for humanity. The wise who store up for those times are ready, while those who simply spend all that they get - are unprepared for such times. I am not saying that we should be like the foolish farmer who stored up an abundance - and was not rich toward God. But I am saying that just like there are those examples, there are also others where God wanted His people to be wise in setting aside things for a lean time. Joseph was such an example - and his wisdom in setting aside the blessings of God - kept an entire region of the world from starvation and devastation.

A wise man knows the value of hard work - and of frugality. Both are character traits that God encourages us to embrace. Even though such things are mocked by the world around us, we should continue to speak in praise of them - and more importantly practice them to our future preparation and blessing.

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Lamps, Lights, and the Way of Life - Proverbs 6:23

1/8/2011

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For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life. Proverbs 6:23

Today we are going to cover an amazing proverb that applies to every area and every aspect of life itself. Here, like in the gospel, we are told of "the way of life." Unlike in the gospel, this "way of life" is not one that can redeem us from sin - but it can be used by the Holy Spirit to make us a lifetime learner - a disciple who knows how God works through His Word and through the way that it is taught to us by the Spirit. If there was ever a day to listen closely - today would be that day.

We are told of two things at the beginning of this proverb. We are told of the commandent and the teaching. These two things are compared to a lamp and to light. First we have the commandment. This is the same word that is used for God's 10 commandments. It refers to God's Law - and I believe beyond the Old Testament it can be applied to the inspired Word of God anywhere in the Old or New Testaments. We are told here that the commandment is a lamp. A lamp is something that can emit light if used properly. The lamp will always have the potential for light to come from it. It is something that holds light - and if lit it will radiate light. Interesting for us who understand the figures and types that are used for God's Holy Spirit, a lamp is filled with oil which is a type throughout the Old Testament for the Spirit and His work. When that oil is lit - the lamp produces light. In much the same way, the Word of God always has within it the teaching of the Holy Spirit - His leading and His instruction, warning, and rebuke. When we come to God's Word, the lamp, we have the wonderful working of the Spirit of God as He illumines the Scriptures for us. But before we think that simply reading or hearing the Word will always produce light, we need to remember that the commandment is a lamp. It can produce light - but it can also remain unlit and just be a lamp. There are those who misuse God's Word and no light comes forth. The devil himself quoted the Scriptures to Jesus - to try and get Him to sin. In that instance the lamp did not produce light - but it was abused to promote darkness. There are also professors even at semniaries who do not believe the Bible is the Word of God. The teaching they do promotes darkness. This means that we cannot make a blanket statement that when the Bible is taught or read that it always results in light.

The second statement made here is that the teaching is light. First off we need to note here that we are not reading that the teaching is the light. "THE" light is reserved for references to Jesus Christ Himself - God - and amazingly enough, us when we are manifesting God's character to others. Here we read that the teaching is light. The word for teaching here is the Hebrew word "torah." Here torah means instruction or direction. In the Old Testament the word mean instruction in a general manner from God Himself. The idea here is that the command is the lamp - and when the Spirit or a Spirit-inspired teacher is instructing from it - the lamp becomes light - or begins to illumine with light. This is so important for us to grasp because it is the very way that God will instruct and teach us. We come to the Word, but we covet that when we do the Holy Spirit instructs us as we read and as we meditate upon what the Word says. Do not misunderstand me to say that the Bible becomes the Word as it is taught. That is false doctrine. The Bible is always the inspired Word of God that gives us the revelation of God. It is just that we are blind to it without the instruction of the Holy Spirit who opens our hearts and spirits so that we can receive what God says. That is why I think it is important to consciously ask the Spirit of God to teach us when we come to the Word of God.

There is one other thing this passage teaches us about the functioning of the Word in our lives. Today there are many who teach that the major reason for God's Word is that we can "confess who we are" in a positive way. There is a potential problem with this doctrinal view. We can get to the point where we only receive "positive" messages about ourselves from God's Word - and not conviction of sin. When we read this passage though, it seems that we are learning something contrary to the positive confession doctrine.

"And reproofs for discipline are the way of life." When we read this we have to come to the conclusion that a large part of what the Word of God is going to do is reprove us. It is probably at least one fourth of what it does because we read in 2 Timothy 3:16 that the Word of God is profitable for reproof. Actually the 2 Timothy passage says not just reproof, but also correction as well. The Word of God comes to us often to reprove and correct us. One of God's complaints against the false prophets is that they would whitewash Israel's sin. They would constantly talk about blessing without helping Israel and Judah to see that they had sinned against the Lord. It does not matter how many "positive" confessions you make to yourself, God, and others - if you have unconfessed sin in your life - God will not bless you. And since we are fallen creatures who live in a fallen world - we need for God to reveal to us that when we are acting "fallen!" If you read Romans 7 - you do not come away with the thought that Paul just needed to be more positive. He was wrestling with very real sin - and a very real fleshly, sinful nature that could not be defeated except through Jesus Christ. That is why we need desperately to see that we need to be reproved and disciplined by God to become all that God desires for us to be in Christ. Without that reproof and correction, we will not know from what we need to turn.

The way of life is through being disciplined by God - and that involves the Lord reproving us for our sin. When we come to His Word - His commandments - He is going to reveal to us how we have sinned against Him. He does not do this because He hates us. Contrary to that thought, He does it because He loves us! He desires for us to share in His holiness (Hebrews 12) - and that means He wants us to share in His life.

Wisdom is coming to God's Word in the right way each day. It means that we approach the Lord each day being open to what He wants to teach us. As we do this we also open ourselves to His Spirit to reveal to us that we may have sinned - or we may be lacking godly character - or a good attitude toward an authority. There are any number of ways that God might speak to our hearts and help us to abandon sin - and embrace His holiness. Regardless of what specifics are involved, God desires to bring blessing into our lives through this process. Remember - the reproofs and discipline are the way of life! He is bringing you life when He does these things. Be wise therefore and receive what He is saying each day - whether it is encouragement, exhortation, teaching, or reproof. They are all in his arsenal of blessing to conform you to the image of His Son and change you to be a better vessel for the blessing of not just yourself - but everyone around you.

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A Full Time Moral and Spiritual GPS, Protection System, and Counselor! - Proverbs 6:21-22

1/6/2011

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Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you. Proverbs 6:21-22

There is such a blessing that comes from the teaching of Godly parents. They can bless us so much - if - we do not blow it by not taking what they say to us seriously. This is why Solomon told us in this proverb that we need to take these things and bind them on our hearts and tie them around our necks.

This admonition to keep these teachings and truths on our heart and around our neck are both pictures of giving them a high place in our lives. This same admonition is given in Proverbs 1:8 about a parent's teaching - as well as in Proverbs 3:3 where it speaks about what we should do with kindness and truth in our lives. There are some things that we need to value as highly as possible. One of those things is the teaching of a godly father and mother.

We are told in verse 22 that if we do this we will have a protection service that will function in our lives. We are told first that as we walk about these things will guide us. Consider how often you would be guided if you took the advice of a very godly set of parents. I can think of at least several serious disasters and problems I would not have if I had followed my father's advice on some financial matters. This is why, as parents, we need to be sure to teach our children the Scriptures and use them as the wisdom that we pass on to them. The wisdom of God's Word would guide our children everywhere that they go!

The second blessing mentioned here is that as we sleep, these teachings and truths will watch over us. The word for "watch over" here is the Hebrew word "shamar" which means to watch over so as to protect. Whether you realize it or not, decisions you make are working either for or against you even as you sleep. Consider a financial decision to make a foolish investment. This investment is working even when you are asleep either to earn money or to watch it drop in value. In much the same way, decisions for godliness are working for us - even as we sleep. Following the godly advice of our parents will be working for us even as we are sleeping in our beds. Associations with others that might harm us - stopped by following godly advice. Decisions to invest in education - in a godly work ethic - to marry the right person - to live for the things of the Lord - all working marvelously for us every day we are alives.

The final blessing mentioned here is that as we wake up - these things will be speaking to us. I remember a friend who has a godly mother who said to me that some of the things she hears that bless her - usually come in the sound of her mother's voice in her head. That is the value of what a parent teaches to a child when they take the time to teach them the Word of God. There are times we will hear them at a crossroads decision - and their counsel will be sweet to us. That is why we need to value you it like we would value some of our most prize possessions.

Just a note as we come to the close of this particular proverb. As this proverb is true of a parent's teaching - it is even more true about the teaching and training of our heavenly father. His Word will bless us in the very same way - except with eternal blessings. How we need to heed Colossians and let that Word dwell "RICHLY" in our hearts. If we do - we will have God's Word lead us, watch over us, and speak to us all day long. What a blessing!

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How Dad and Mom Work Together To Rear Godly Children - Proverbs 6:20

12/6/2010

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My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not forsake the teaching of your mother; Proverbs 6:20

How does a father and a mother work together to rear their children for the Lord? That is a good question to ask, and one that is often overlooked as we kind of stumble along in the paths of parenthood. But believe it or not, the book of Proverbs has a proverb that instructs us on this matter - and does so very well. We would be wise to listen to this counsel - and begin to pattern our parenting upon its precepts.

Here in Proverbs 6:20, we have an interesting statement made that gives a role to both the father and the mother in giving wisdom to their children. The first thing we read here is that a son should observe the commandment of his father. Observe here is the Hebrew word "natsar" which means to watch, to guard, or to keep. The word had several uses, but came to us from the military world where the idea of watching was prominent. When a soldier was put on watch - it was his duty to scan the horizon and be ready at an instant to warn the troops of a sneak attack - or a full scale assault. Were he to fall asleep at his post - the entire regiment would be at risk of being overrun and destroyed. The word was then carried over into the idea of ehtics and watchfulness over God's or other's commands. Here is spoke of a watchfulness for the purpose of being faithful to the command - as well as an ethical watch over one's own behavior so that the command was carried out with careful obedience. The son is called to have this kind of watching when it came to his father's commandments. As you can imagine, the word "commandments" is the normal word "mitsvah" which is the most common word for a commandment or a statute given to someone. It is the word used of the 10 commandments - and the same word used most often to speak of God's law. It is also part of the word for "barmitzvah" that speaks of the ceremony at age 13 when a Jewish boy was considered a man. He was considered such because he was taking on the full responsibility of the Law of God. Barmitzvah literally means, "son of the law" or "son of the commandments."

The father calls his son to obey the commandments that he gives him. If a man is wise - he will make his commandments very similar to those God gives us. Flood a boy with too many commandments and he will lose heart trying to remember and keep all of them. But when we give a child limitations and wise standards by which to live - he will be far more secure. Just a warning though to the father who thinks that he can "christianize" his kids by the way he rears them. The Law was meant to show us that we are sinners. No matter how wonderfully you rear your children, they will still have to come to Christ to be saved and redeemed from their sinful, rebellious ways. Yet, a wise man will knows the value of setting godly standards for his children. A son would also be wise - very wise if he takes his father's commandments and seeks to govern his behavior by them. Most young people (and by the way I definitely include myself in my younger years) have a basic disdain for their parents commandments. That is a perfect way of seeing how sin and how the fall have affected our lives. Wisdom tells us that those older than us are also usually wiser than us. The only time a child can say that he is as wise as his elders is when he loves God's Word and seeks to know it with great passion. Then Psalm 119 makes a promise that God's Word makes him wiser even than his elders. (Just a brief word of wisdom though - if you do know the Word very well - you will also approach your elders with it with humility and grace - not with arrogance and a sense of superiority - that kind of attitude pretty much shows that you've descended back into foolishness again.)

The mother's role is given next. This verse says to us that the son also should not forsake the teaching of his mother. The word forsake means just that - to forsake or to reject something. Here it refers to the "teaching" of his mother. The word "teaching" here is the Hebrew word, "torah." It meant something that was taught - but more along the lines of giving specific instruction or direction to someone. So we see an interesting thing here. The father gives the basic commands to his son, but the mother then works with him to see how they are applied to everyday situations and in everyday life. She takes the basic law given by the dad - and adds additional instruction and help in seeing how to walk in those commands each day. Since the father usually has to go to work and be gone throughout much of the day, the mother then takes over the work of instructing and helping the sons and daughters grasp and understand how it is the father desires for them to live. She makes his commandments into practical choices and works hard to teach those choices to the children.

What is fascinating to me as I look at this verse is that this is how Jewish religion is set up. They have the Law (mitzvah) which is given by God the Father. They also have the instruction (the torah) which is given by the rabbis who teach the Law to the people. They took this very concept and used it to set up their entire teaching system that they use with their people. This works wonderfully - until the rabbis begin to have their teaching pervert the actual Law upon which it was based. This is true also in families where mother and father are not on the same page in rearing their children. Either the dad or mom is too strict - or too lenient, and the other decides to modify what they view as an unrealistic view by changing things themselves. This leads to chaos in the child's mind - and the unique ability to play one parent against the other. Regardless - the result is usually bad.

The wise son is the one who listens well to his parents - and who takes both the command of the dad - and the teaching of the mom - and uses it to make wise decisions in life. May we be so blessed as to have fathers that will lead wisely and godly - moms that will teach according to his commandments - and children who in turn will know the right way to walk because they have heard it from their parents.

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Proverb a Day

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