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Overcoming Sexual Temptation, part 4 - Proverbs 7:19-20

12/10/2010

"For my husband is not at home, He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him, At the full moon he will come home." Proverbs 7:19-20

Once the adulteress has caught the fool in the trap of his own ungodly sexual desires - she then informs him of his soon-to-be-committed adultery. At this point, the man is so entrapped, that he is no longer considering sin - but the ability to not get caught.

She says to him that her husband is not at home - but is gone on a long journey. Evidently her marriage means nothing to her. Long gone are the words of her covenant to God - or any real love for her husband. Instead she is interested in her next sexual escapade or conquest. Her words betray her husband - and also betray that she cares nothing for her own spiritual condition, or that of her sexual prey. Her focus is on neither of them getting caught - in this world. In verse 19 she even knows the approximate time he is coming home. Therefore she can sin unfettered until that time. She even uses her treachery to lure the fool in closer. She is utterly blind to the fact that God sees all this - and they are caught - NOW!

Think for a moment of David. He thought no one saw him lusting for Bathsheba on his rooftop. He thought that only a few knew of her coming to his chambers - and none of them actually knew if they committed adultery. Then, when she became pregnant, he thought that no one knew of his treachery of bringing Uriah from the midst of a battle to cover his tracks. When that did not work, he thought only a few knew of his plan to kill Uriah - and try to legitimize his adultery by marrying his widow after murdering him with an enemy army. But the fact was David was caught the moment he sinned in his heart. It was along the way that more people knew - and if you understand the nature of gossip - far more knew than he thought.

Covering our sin does not work. David said after his sin that he who covers his sins will not prosper. He spoke of how he suffered when he hid his sin - how the work of the Holy Spirit convicting him and sapping his very strength as he tried to keep things hidden was strong. Sin will try to deceive us of its very existance in our lives. It will tell us that we have NOT sinned. It will tell us that we are FINE. But all along the way are lies. The wise man is the one who knows that trying to hide sin is the most foolish act in which a person can engage. God is omniscient and sovereign - that is absolute fact. This means that there is nothing we can hide from Him - even for a second. It also means that all our attempts to maintain our sin are superceded by His sovereignty. Man may plan his steps - but God ordains his way. While that does not mean that God makes us sin - it does mean that His discipline WILL prevail when we do - no matter what we think we are doing to stop it.

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Overcoming Sexual Temptation, part 3 - Proverbs 7:18

12/9/2010

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"Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses. Proverbs 7:18

As we continue our look at overcoming sexual temptation, we come to the direct statement of the harlot. We need to look at this statement to see the deception and the encouragement of sin in it.

She makes the fool an offer of sex - but the way she states it is having his fill of love until the morning. The word she uses for love here is the one that is usually used in the Hebrew for "lover." But what she offers is not love in the truest sense. She offers a fullness of love - at least until the morning. She offers fullness of love - at least until her husband gets home - or she finds someone else to be her sexual dupe. But all the fool hears is that he has a lover for the evening.

That is the problem with sexual temptation - it offers an immediate pleasure - but says nothing of the long-term cost. Sexual tempation (and actually any temptation for that matter) always focuses on immediate gratification. Our flesh wants immediate gratification - and calls out for it every day we live. But immediate gratification may leave a wake of incredible destruction. Therefore, the more we allow oursevles to be deceived into thinking there are no consequences for our actions - the more likely we are going to fall for the lies being fed to us.

The adulteress says that a night of wonderful love-making awaits us. But let's be perfectly honest about this. That promise is for about 10 to 15 minutes. Drinking our fill of love until morning is a euphamism for little more than 30 minutes of our time. The destruction had in that brief period of time - lasts far longer - and I would submit the pain involved is far worse than the intensity of the pleasure promised. I've walked with people through divorce proceedings that last months. I've walked with men who made this fatal mistake - and even years later they were still paying a price when their wives struggled with trusting them when they were late from work. But sin never talks to us in these terms - sin only speaks of the "now" moment of pleasure. Wisdom considers the moments after - the days after - the months and years after.

Delighting oursevles with caresses is another call to live for our flesh, and the adulteress uses it craftily. The word "delight" here is interesting. It means to rejoice in something - finding pleasure in it - and delighting in pleasure by expressing that pleasure above all other things. What is interesting about this word is that the Bible uses it of the pleasure that is found in the sexual relationship in marriage. God actually blesses this delight in pleasure - but He does so with the boundaries of marriage fully in place. We read in multiple places in the Bible that God fully desires for us to experience the joy of married sexual love. God did not give us sexual organs, desires, and the ability to feel pleasure only to forbid it. But He knows that when we do so outside the bounds of a committed marriage relationship, it will turn destructive. Just delighting ourselves with caresses can lead to the idea of multiple sexual partners - which we know leads to sexually transmitted diseases. It leads to a shallow love based on physical attraction and physical pleasure alone. In its more perverted forms - this leads to homosexualtiy - and in its worst forms to things like incest and rape. Living for the physical pleasure of anything alone will lead to a complete abandonment of wisdom. Sins like gluttony, drunkenness, and drug abuse are all ways that we start with a desire for the physical pleasure of something alone. They all end in a bondage to sin that is very difficult to break.

The call to sexual temptation is a call to live for our flesh - and for a rejoicing in pleasure alone. It does not think at all beyond the moment - and misses altogether the bondage that awaits in the future. The fool does not think ahead - he only thinks of now. He wants his pleasure now and is deaf to any consequences that await him. The way to defeat sexual temptation is to use something other than your physical organs to make your decisions. It is to use God's Word as wisdom guiding your mind as you encounter various things - various people in life. That way you do not wind up a slave to your senses. Biblically Romans 6 reminds us that in life we are going to be either a slave to sin or a slave to righteousness. Sin will destroy us. The wise man submits himself to God - to His Word - and to a life that promises pleasure and blessing beyond the next 30 minutes.

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Overcoming Sexual Tempation, part 2 - Proverbs 7:16-18

12/8/2010

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"I have spread my couch with coverings, With colored linens of Egypt. I have sprinkled my bed With myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses. Proverbs 7:16-18

Yesterday we took a first look at overcoming sexual immorality by understanding the way that the enemy will attack us in this area. We saw that selfishness and ego are two weak points where we can be attacked effectively if we are not careful. Today, we will continue to look at overcoming sexual immorality in our lives.

The adulterous woman continues speaking to the fool whom she is enticing with promises of a night he will never forget. Having found "HIM" she then continues to entice him with what she has prepared for their night of passion. Brothers, we need to know that the longer we allow this woman to talk to us - the more likely we are to be caught in her web. This is something that seems strange to those who are looking from the outside in on this temptation. We might find ourselves wanting to scream and yell at this man - warning him of what is about to happen. The problem is that he is all but deaf to those warnings. Having ignored the warnings of the Holy Spirit earlier - he is a sitting duck for this kind of stuff.

She speaks of how she has covered her couch with special linens - then speaks of how she has also sprinkled her bed with fragrant enticing smells and things that will heighten their sexual pleasure. Let me say men, that if we have not turned and run by this point - we are most likely caught. This man is listening with his sex drive by now - and when he has come to that point - he is deaf to anything else. The enticements are too much for him. He will most likely follow at this point. She is making here case first appealing to his ego - and now to his senses of sight and smell. Note though that at no time is his spirit being addressed. This is enticement that is apart from the working of the Holy Spirit. It is based solely in his flesh and his earthly appetites. That is why he needs to be so careful NOT to let things get to this point. What could this man have done to avoid this scenario - to not have gotten down the road this far?

First, we need to cultivate a good relationship with our wives. Men, if you are not talking with your wife - you are making yourself vulnerable. If you see that you are NOT talking to her - or the conversation has dulled or gone silent - take great alarm over it! Your ability to talk to your wife about anything and everything is a safeguard to you! It will prevent you from falling into the second trap - talking too much with another woman.

Second, you do NOT need to cultivate a relationship with other women. If you have an encounter conversationally with another woman that you would even hesitate to share with your wife, you should be warned - you are headed for dangerous territory. Too many men put themselves in vulnerable positions with another woman because they talk with them - and don't share that conversation with their wives. And - if the talk ever takes an uncomfortable turn - one that is too intimate - RUN! You should run to your wife and reveal that immediately - and ask her advice on what to do. Then you should follow it. Many adulterous affairs would have been nipped in the bud if the husband had only avoided any kind of talk that even remotely made him uncomfortable with another woman.

The third thing relates to the second very closely. In the office and at work - keep your relationships and conversations with women on a professional level only. Do NOT go outside these boundaries. It may be uncomfortable to say it - but say it anyway. Your relationship with this woman at work needs to remain professional. Refer her to someone else than you for such conversations and such advice. Opening up such areas can only lead to problems and conflict. She works for you - or you for her - and this does not include a shoulder to cry on when her relationships are having problems. Do not be rude - but make it clear that you are uncomfortable talking about such things. You can even refer her to your wife if she is comfortable with that role - but YOU do not need to go there.

The only way to avoid having another woman talk to you this way (sexually)is to make sure that the only woman who feels comfortable doing so is your wife. This man would have been wise to do these things - but since he did not - he is in the lair of the wicked one - and about to be caught in a horrible trap. The time to know of such traps is long before you step into them.

Now, let me address one last trap we tend to step into too often. It is the trap of having these things done via the media. What I refer to is movies and television. Most of us would never think of looking into another person's bedroom - and their sex life. That would involve being a peeping-tom. But the fact is that we are ushered into the bedrooms of dozens of couples on a regular basis through film and television. Voyeurism takes place via these mediums every day. We watch a television program or see a movie where these kind of things are played out right before our eyes. We see that sexy woman or hunky guy say all the perfect things - do all the perfect things - and enter into a night of ecstasy (or at least implied ecstasy). We watch romantic movies where the actors are coached into saying the perfect thing in the perfect situation. Then we slouch into our couches wondering why the spark is gone in our own relationship. We are being coached as well by the wicked one. Coached into thinking that our wife or husband is not enough. They don't talk to me or treat me like that. They don't look like that. They don't work out the perfect scenario like that. And before we know it we've allowed our audio-visual voyeurism to make us discontent with our spouse. Then we spend our thoughts dreaming of that perfect situation - and of course - it involves someone who kind-of looks like that person we saw on TV or in the movie. Maybe it is that person with whom we are fantasizing having a romantic episode. Whatever the situation, we're caught - the trap has sprung - and we are much more susceptible now.

Careful saints - the temptations and the wiles of the evil one are very subtle. He attacks in a myriad of ways - and his goal is to get to our minds and hearts. There he can plant an idea - a concept - a way of thinking that is opposed to the Scriptures. When he has done that - he has set up a beachhead from which to attack further into our lives. That is why we need to remember what the Scriptures teach concerning our marriages - concerning our wives - and concerning our sexuality. These are matters where to give an inch may mean later finding that the enemy has moved inward into our thinking and reasoning a mile. Reserve ALL such talk and thinking for your wife and your wife alone. That is wisdom.

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Overcoming Sexual Temptation, part 1 - Proverbs 7:15

12/7/2010

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"Therefore I have come out to meet you, To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you." Proverbs 7:15

Here are the enticements of the adulterous woman. These are the words that she uses to bring a man into her trap - which is her bedroom. Most men do not view a bedroom as a trap. Unfortunately, men tend to view the bedroom as a place of pleasure - and do not see that the difference between pleasure and pain - between a paradise and a pathway to hell is the status of the woman with whom they are having their pleasure at the moment.

Guys, I want to be brutally honest with you for the next couple of days. We are going to follow this text for that length of time. This is an area where we are being decimated in the church today. We must open our eyes and begin to discern between the bedroom as a trap and as a treasure. The difference is in one term alone. Are we there with our wives as a holy place - where the Scriptures describe it as the "marriage bed" which it goes on to say is holy - or - are we being duped into thinking that God will in any way bless the bedroom beyond the relationship of marriage. Too often we are the dupes rather than the discerning. We listen to the siren song of the adulteress and do not heed the warning siren of the Holy Spirit to which we are deaf when we succumb to lust - or worse - encourage it in our lives. Please read today's passage and commentary with great discernment - because we, as a gender, must begin to walk in discernment as we walk through this world.

Verse 15 reveals to us the secret weapon of the adulteress. It is the ego of a man - and how easily it can be manipulated. Look at what the adulteress says to this foolish man. After making him think that she is right with God (see Prov 7:14 for her religious comments) - she then aims straight for his ego. "Therefore I have come out to meet YOU. To seek YOUR presence earnestly, and I have found YOU." (emphasis mine) Oh, how foolish men love to be made much of by others - especially by a beautiful woman. This reveals to us a secret sin in this man's heart - that of being thought of romantically or sexually by a woman (even if it is a woman other than his wife). And at this point she has set her talons into his flesh. She has begun to hook him with this talk that strokes his deceived ego.

Guys this is where we need to be brutally honest with one another. Biblically, God tells us that our desire is to be for our wives. Proverbs 5:17 says that we should be exhilarated with her love - focusing on her sexually. If we are not careful this present world and its sexual insanity will infect us. It is all around us each and every day. The world system is crazed with talk and with innuendo about sex. That is why we need to be so careful what enters our eyes and what enters our minds. Please don't mistake my passion here for either the thought that this is easy - or the idea that I've completely mastered this battle. Unfortunately due to choices I've made in my past, this is a battle that I fight daily. But men, it is worth fighting. Our only other choice is to make ourselves a much easier target for the world - either in physical adultery - or in the mental version of the same sin.

This adulteress/prostitute comes to us telling us that it is all about us. I wanted you - I sought you - I've found you. Anything that ministers to the selfish, self-centered part of us is something we should run from in life. That is especially the case when it comes to our sexuality. There is only one relationship God will bless in this way - and that is the one that we have with our wives. Remember, men, this lie is only for a moment - because, as we will learn later in this chapter of Proverbs, there is a devastating payment that will come when the sexual encounter is over.

Men . . . don't buy the lie that the wicked one puts before you through the lips of the adulteress. It is just that - a lie. She will say that it is all about you - but the truth is it is only about setting the trap. Behind all this lies the wicked one, who is longing to see you, your marriage, your family, your testimony, and your relationship with God destroyed. If you cannot remember anything else - remember the cost to David for his adultery with Bathsheba. It was a one night tryst - but the cost kept being paid for the rest of his life - and on through his family for generations to come. No matter what a woman says to you in this matter, do not believe her. Hold fast to the Word of God. Run! Flee youthful lusts, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. That is the biblical counsel that Paul gave to young Timothy. It should be the counsel we follow when a strange woman comes and tries to gain entrance to our lives through flattery and an appeal to our selfishness.

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Strange, Flattering, Dangerous Women - Proverbs 2:16

12/2/2010

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To deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words; Proverbs 2:16

Here we have a four verse warning against the adulterous woman. It is in the midst of a passage telling us the benefits of knowing God's Word and Wisdom. His wisdom will deliver us from this kind of sexual sin.

The word deliver here means to overcome the power of another that is trying to overcome us. There is a very clear power that is manifest when sexual sin is trying to deceive us. Some call it sexual tension - but I believe that it is more clearly distinguished as sexual temptation - and it is energized by the power of the wicked one. Unless the sexual encounter is between husband and wife, we can be assured that the "tension" of which we speak is an evil tension. What we need is a greater power at work in us that can overcome the temptations and the enticements to sin.

God says that wisdom and the Word will deliver us from the "strange" woman. What a great way to state what we are dealing with here. This is indeed a strange woman. She is a stranger to God's ways and to God's Word. She is an adulteress - and as such she is truly strange. How we need to train ourselves with a God-centered, Biblically-based worldview on such matters. We should look at such woman and see them as strange to us. They are strange because they choose to disobey God. They are strange because they dishonor their marriage vows. They are strange because they forget the covenant they made with God. They are strange because they promise pleasure and ecstacy, but actually only deliver death and shame. How strange it is for a woman to act in this way. Our society, in contrast, glorifies this woman. They may not come out and say that she is an adulteress, but they don't say or do anything to discourage her from flaunting her sexuality in a way that is odious to God. A woman's beauty is to be for God's glory and her husband's enjoyment. Other than that - she is not to parade her beauty around in unacceptable, immodest ways. When she does so - she is basically acting like a harlot/prostitute - and is causing numerous men to stumble into visual and heart-level adultery. We should view such women - as strange indeed.

This woman lures men into adultery with her flattering words. The word for flatter here is very interesting. It speaks of words that are smooth. Flattering words are smooth and easy to the ear. When we hear them we tend to agree with them because, after all, it is nice when someone finally notices how awesome and hot we are! Such words seldom are spoken to us for our benefit. That is the danger of flattery. The words that are spoken seem like they are for our benefit, but actually they are for the benefit of the one who is offering them to us. The flattery is given to fill our ears with their words, yet their aim is to gain access to our heart. Once their flattery is effective in disabling our ability to discern and act prudently, they begin to carry out their hidden plan in our lives. Here, the adulteress is using flattery to get us to commit adultery with her. She does NOT have our best interests in mind. That is why we need to reject utterly her flattering words and depart from her presence as quickly as possible. To do otherwise is to risk grave danger to ourselves and to our marriages.

A wise man will learn to hear flattery and reject it. He will also know that excessive compliments from a woman other than his wife is a set up. He needs to know that he is being hunted - and that is not something to feel flattered about. Ask any animal that has been lured into the open by deceptive measures - and then has narrowly escaped with his life when the trap is sprung. The flattery is seen afterward as extremely dangerous. Therefore a wise man learns to see the trap - clings to the Lord and to the wife of his youth.

As I close today, let me encourage married couples for just a moment. It is too easy once you have lived with someone long enough to get out of the habit of complimenting and in a good way, flattering them. Your spouse wants to be complimented - and talked to in a way that makes them blush a little. Know this . . . YOU are the only one who should be doing this with your spouse. But if you do not - know that they will be more vulnerable to the flattery of others. Take the time to speak something very sweet to your wives guys - ladies, do the same to your husbands. There may be someone out their who is getting ready to set a trap for them. Make it completely ineffective by lovingly flattering your sweetheart - and do it on a regular basis. It is a wise thing to do.

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The Harlot: Her Actions, Style, and Heart - Proverbs 7:10

7/7/2010

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And behold, a woman comes to meet him, Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. Proverbs 7:10

In this verse of Proverbs we continue with a look at the ways of the harlot. There are things said here that will probably offend those who have adapted too closely to our culture. The things that I say today can be very incidiary, yet they probably need to be said. Let me issue a disclaimer before I begin commenting on today's proverb. These things are true of the harlot in this verse. Because you may have some of these tendencies it does not automatically make you a harlot - just like having some tendencies that are present in a mass murderer does not automatically make you John Wayne Gacy. But, when we see the things in our lives it should at least make us pause and ask the question of why they are there - and - if they are hindering our testimony of Christ.

The adulteress comes to meet her man. This is the first thing we see here in this passage. At the risk of sounding like I come from the stone age, I'm going to make the observation that married women should not be seeking out men. This woman is also seeking out and meeting a man while her husband is out of town. I'm not suggesting that a woman stay in her house and not go out until her husband comes home, but I am saying that wisdom tells me that married women who are seeking the company of another man are placing themselves in a position similar to that of the harlot. There was a day (back in the dark ages) where it was considered improper for a married woman to be seeking the company of another man. But those were back in the days when marriages lasted and the divorce rate was far lower than it is today. Why would we want to return to a time like that?

The second thing we read here is that the adulteress is dressed as a harlot. Oh, here we go into the whole concept of dressing modestly. Well . . . you can dress modestly. I'm not suggesting that a woman dress herself in a burka or that any kind of current clothing is out of the question. But what I am stating is that the Bible does speak to how a woman should dress. There is a way that harlot's dress - to excentuate their figures and to draw a man's eyes to their curves rather than to their face. If you dress this way it does not automatically mean you are immoral - but it does mean that your dress does not reflect that of a woman of godly character. It probably also means that you are a stumbling block to brothers who are seeking to honor God by not looking at a woman with lust in their hearts. Since I have several daughters I have dealt with the attitude that says, "Well, maybe the problem is that guys shouldn't be looking!"

To that I say, "Amen, they shouldn't!" But then I also answer that biblical love means doing what is best for others - not just doing whatever we want. It means dressing in a way that will "help" your brothers - not in a way that makes even the church a place where they have to be dealing with how women dress. Modesty does NOT mean setting hem lines and shorts lines by some legal decree. I've seen plenty of dresses and shorts that meet those requirements, yet still draw a man's eyes away from the face to the figure. I also have daughters that have different body types that make it very difficult to find anything that merits someone's legal dressing code approval. But there are certain things that a woman should avoid in dressing herself if she wants to honor God in her appearance. One principle that usually works is that of avoiding tighter clothing and clothing that accentuates her curves or clevage. I think the best passage dealing with this is where God speaks of how a woman should clothe herself with good works befitting of a woman who desires godliness. If you live like that your "heart" will be addressed, which will probably do far more to keep you out of immoral clothing than any list could ever do.

Since I've mentioned the heart, that is the difference here in how we view this woman. Our passage tells us that this married woman who is meeting a man, who is dressed as a harlot, does so with "cunning of heart." The intent of her heart is cunning. She has plans and designs on this man - and they are not good. In the end, a woman's heart is the place we need to look. Unfortunately there are numerous women who might be a little indiscreet - or who would be wiser if they would adopt a more modest way of dress. But they are not dangerous in the end, because even though they may lack wisdom in these other areas - their heart is not filled with cunning or ungodly plans. This woman though is very ungodly. She has plans - and they involve sexual immorality and adultery. She is meeting this man and is dressed in this way for the purpose of seducing him. She doesn't care what the Scripture has to say about being wise - about modestry - even what it has to say about adultery. She is going to sin - and is set in that direction. The issue of the heart is paramount.

For the man who sees these things there is also a lesson. When you see these things - avoid this kind of woman. Be suspect of women who want to come and meet with you. Learn to value the kind of woman who is not just modest in her dress - but who is also modest and discreet in how she approaches men. Be careful and do not let your ego blind you to these things. The pride in a man might look at such issues and sidestep the warnings of wisdom in his heart. He might enjoy having a woman take interest in him. He might secretly enjoy the fact that a woman dresses to arouse in him feelings and desires that cannot be gratified scripturally. He might even enjoy the danger of a woman who is hunting him and showing him such attention, even if she is married. But such a man is a fool! Warnings are given to us to warn us of consequences that await us if we do not wake up and smell the danger. It would be far wiser of us to see such things and make godly choices that might be judged as somewhat victorian by our own society - but which are judged as very smart by a holy God.

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The Sister and Kinsman Redeemer Who Protect Us . . . Proverbs 7:4-5

6/7/2010

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That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words. Proverbs 7:5

We begin to grasp why wisdom and understanding need to be our sister and kinsman redeemer when we see the way that the adulteress seeks to capture men. The wise father here is offering very sage advice to his son - in an effort to rescue him from the snares of immoral women who would capture him with their wiles.

Wisdom and understanding keep us from the adulteress. There is something we need to hear in our day - or any day for that matter. If a man does not walk in this world with his spirit open to the Holy Spirit - he will have the normal abnormalcy of walking in his flesh. I call this normal - because it is the state of all who come into this world. I call it abnormalcy because that was not how God originally made man - nor is it where God wants us to be. Too many men, young and old, walk blind to spiritual realities. This makes them sitting ducks for immorality and every other kind of vice common to mankind. It is only seeing things from God's perspective that will guard us from the adulteress. Thus we need to think in cooperation with the Holy Spirit who desires to give us wisdom and understanding - not with our desires and with our labido. We need to be guarded and protected . . . from ourselves.

This "strange woman," which is what the Hebrew literally says, is a foreigner. This term may surprise you, but it has more to do with a "spiritual" foreigner than any kind of nationality issues. God warned Israel about the nations that surrounded her because their daughters would intermarry with Israel's sons. God's concern was that this situation would result in Israel's sons worshipping the false god's that these women worshipped. As a result, these sons would turn from the Lord and follow the false gods of the nations instead of the one true God, Jehovah.

The adulteress has a secret weapon in her arsenal. It is one that God warns us of - and yet still hundreds and thousands of men fall for it every day. She "flatters" with her words. Men love for their egos to be stroked and pampered. They love it when a woman says nice things about them - compliments them - and tells them how wonderful they are. (As a man, I fear that this comes from the arrogant prideful thought within me that when they do - they are so right - because . . . well . . . because I just so incredibly awesome!) Oh, here is the danger, men! We want the ego strokes because of our pride. When a man has been married for a while - too often these ego-strokes begin to fade in the marriage due to men being doofusses and due to the natural progression of sin.

(Just a note to wives . . . ladies, you cannot ever grasp how important it is for your husband to know you appreciate him - and that you still consider him your hero - and a warning as well is needed here. If you don't do this - or think its just dumb to say things like this cause you've been married 5, 10, 20, 30 years. I can promise you that at some point, some other woman may begin complimenting and flattering your husband. He is still responsible to be godly, be pure, and be faithful. But that task becomes all the more difficult - when he receives no encouragement at home - no ego-strokes - no compliments. This makes it harder to resist when someone finally appreciates him. This is not meant to justify unfaithfulness - it just hopefully helps you see that your God-given task of being his helpmate (which includes encouragement and seeing him as your hero) will make it so much easier for him to see the smooth, flattery of the adulteress for what it is . . . a trap!)

The adulteress uses flattery to trap a man. She uses compliments and smooth statements as bait for another woman's husband. The word for flattery means words that are smooth and slippery. What a picture of the deception and the lies that are at work here. She worships herself and her own desires - and she is working hard through her slippery, smooth comments to get this poor sap to join her in her worship. He can worship himself and enter into her worship of herself through an illicit relationship. She catches her prey by luring him in through the baited compliments she places into her trap.

Wisdom and understanding are essential to delivering us from such things. God's viewpoint is simple men. Are you married? Do you presently have a wife? Then this is totally and completely out of bounds! If this is absolutely outside of God's will for you - then who could be behind such counsel and such temptation? We need to see these compliments for what they are. They are bait on a hook! If you nibble at the bait - a hook is going to tear through the flesh of your lip - possibly rip open your jaw - and no matter how hard you fight, you're going to be reeled in and mounted as a trophy on Satan's wall! My how that description just changed how we view the flattery and slippery speech of the adulteress! We went from being enamored with her beauty and the promise of ecstasy - to feeling sick at our stomachs at the thought of a hook tearing through our skin and the pain that it would yield. Good!! That is what wisdom and understanding are supposed to do. They are supposed to take the silly trappings off of the devil's lies - off of our flesh and its deceptive thoughts - and show us the horror of what truly lies ahead.

This is why wisdom is to be our sister - and understanding our kinsman redeemer. They can take the most sensual, inviting situation and show it for what it is. It is going to be horrible! It is going to be bondage! It is going to be regretted in the end! May God give us grace to see these things - to wake up out of the stupor of our fleshly sleep - and see the truth before it is too late.

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Rich, Sexually Stupid Fools and the Women Who Use Them. Proverbs 29:3

5/29/2010

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A man who loves wisdom makes his father glad, But he who keeps company with harlots wastes his wealth. Proverbs 29:3

We see again the correlation between wisdom and the relationship between a father and a son. Here we see that the father has taught his son well to avoid the company of harlots. Truly he has a wise father if he has taught his son this. I once talked to a campus minister who worked with young men and asked him what one thing did more to derail the process of discipleship. He did not even pause in answering me.  His words reverberated in my soul - and still remain there. He said, "When they get involved with the wrong kind of girl."

If we love wisdom, we will know that the wrong relationship with a woman can be devastating to us. The first 9 chapters of Proverbs warns us again and again of this trap.  When we love wisdom, we are one who listens to these warnings and heeds them. We avoid those kind of relationships and steer clear of any kind of involvement with a woman that would rob us of our ability to think, to reason, and to make wise decisions. We love seeing things from God's perspective - and seeing things this way helps us to deal with our sexuality without being burned.  Our sexuality is a gift from God Himself - and is only to be given to our wives. Ladies, the same is true for you - your sexuality is a gift from your heavenly Father - and is only to be given to your husband.

When a man begins to "keep company" with harlots, he is evidencing that he is a fool. One of the reasons loose women hang around a man is so that he will spend his money on them. He will do so in large amounts because the more he spends on this loose woman, the looser she will become with him. The fool may think that she really likes him - or that she truly thinks he is her man - but all that will go away as soon as the money runs out. In the end, he has lost something he will not regain in his sexual purity - but he will also lose large amounts of money in the process. If he is foolish enough to do this when he is married - and follow a harlot into adultery, divorce, and remarriage - he'll even lose more money when it is all over. We've seen this again and again in the world - when rich men marry young women who throw themselves at them. When the woman has stayed long enough to get a lot of his money and wants to move on - she cleans him out in the divorce settlement.

The fool does not love wisdom - he loves his immorality. He loves that his money can buy him illicit relationships (note I did not say love, because whatever he has gotten - it isn't love). But the fool and his money are soon departed.  If he is wise, he will have learned from the situation - but most don't - as evidenced by their next relationship with another woman after the same thing. The fool never learns. That is why it is such a delight to have a son who loves wisdom - and - who knows the pitfalls of his sexuality when it takes over and turns him into little more than a moron.

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Where is the Immoral Woman Headed?

5/5/2010

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Her feet go down to death, Her steps take hold of Sheol. Proverbs 5:5

Here is another reminder of the way that the immoral woman is going - and by the way - the way she will also take you if you decide to take her up on her offer of sexual pleasure to you.

Why should we read these verses ourselves - and also share them with our children as they grow up in life? It is because a wise man makes his decisions based on the fact of where those decisions are taking him. Only a fool makes decisions based upon the pleasure that is offers in the here and now with no thought to long term consequences.

The immoral woman has a path. Her feet go down to death. Death is the word "maveth" in the Hebrew and it means to be dead. The interesting part of this term is that it often is combined with things like sickness and plague that the Lord brings upon the disobedient. Considering the rampant sexually transmitted disease rate in our nation - this passage is prophetic of our current situation. The second statement says that her steps take hold of Sheol. Sheol is a words that is used to describe the place of the dead as well. What is interesting is that the word is used to describe the place of the dead more in spiritual than in just medical language. Thus we learn that this immoral lady is making a fast track to death. She is going there physically as well as spiritually.

Now, for the education for the young man or woman who needs to be warned as a result of this passage. Do you really want to die? Do you want to die from the plague that attends sexually immoral conduct? Do you want to destroy your spiritual well being? If you answer to both of these questions is no - then you might want to steer far from the paths of those who walk in sexual immorality. It is a wise thing to do. And for the parent who desires the best for their children - it is also a wise thing of which to speak when talking to your young ones about the dangers of a sexually immoral lifestyle.

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The Bitter End of the Matter in Adultery . . . Proverbs 5:4

4/5/2010

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But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Proverbs 5:4

Where does immorality and adultery take you? What do they leave you in the end? This is what is told to us today in the proverb of the day. It is wise for us to think about this soberly - because in the heat of the moment - sexual immorality and adultery seem to hold so much promise - promise of sensual pleasure - a feeling of being loved and cared for by someone who thinks your special - a promise that someone really thinks you are sexy. All these things dominate the mind at the moment - and they cloud it terribly so that we cannot see the horror that will come in the end. The end . . . there is a reminder all by itself. "Acharith" is the Hebrew word for "the end." It is a word that means after it is over, or, in the latter end. It speaks of thinking of where all this is going to end. What will be the result of my actions and attitudes? What will all this lead to in the end? What a great question for everything we do - but especially for the one who is being led by his or her own desires into sexual immorality and adultery.

Note in the previous verse we learn that the adulteress' speech is "smoother than oil" and that her words "drip honey." She is quite the winder of words, the adulteress is. The problem is that in all the honey-dripping promise - her words deliver something quite different in the end. The latter end of her words are "bitter as wormword." Wormwood is the most bitter taste you can imagine. Commentators say wormwood is excessively bitter. She leaves a bitter taste in your mouth in the end. All promise at the beginning - all bitterness and pain in the end. Think about the broken family - about the STD - about the divorce - about the shame and disgrace. These are the things that will taste like wormwood and cut like a two-edged sword. We don't think like this about sexual immorality because the enemy is doing all he can to keep us from thinking wisely like this. Only think about your pleasure - but never mind the pain that will last for days and years - for what - 15 minutes of pleasure. Pretty stupid trade off if you ask anyone. But we don't think of the consequences of our actions. Instead too many just stumble along like an animal led to slaughter. And they will continue stumbling along - blind to the end of the matter. But the wise will think - will consider - will weigh things not just by the instant gratification they hold - but more importantly by how things will feel a day, a week, a month, or a year later. They will also realize that enough of these "instant pleasure trips" will amount to a lifetime of pain and regret. That is what we need to help us turn away from the adulteress - not matter how much honey she uses to season her lying words.

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Overcoming Sexual Temptation, part 4 - Proverbs 7:19-20

Overcoming Sexual Temptation, part 3 - Proverbs 7:18

Overcoming Sexual Tempation, part 2 - Proverbs 7:16-18

Overcoming Sexual Temptation, part 1 - Proverbs 7:15

Strange, Flattering, Dangerous Women - Proverbs 2:16

The Harlot: Her Actions, Style, and Heart - Proverbs 7:10

The Sister and Kinsman Redeemer Who Protect Us . . . Proverbs 7:4-5

Rich, Sexually Stupid Fools and the Women Who Use Them. Proverbs 29:3

Where is the Immoral Woman Headed?

The Bitter End of the Matter in Adultery . . . Proverbs 5:4

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